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(NYPost) Obvious In another sign the economy is picking up, business in Russian mail-order brides is booming   (nypost.com) divider line 68
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68 Comments   (+0 »)


 
Jacobin 2009-07-19 09:23:50 AM  
To the contrary. Lower maintenance up front until they get settled in and run off with your stuff.

 
BigLuca 2009-07-19 09:24:34 AM  
What you order
www.onewed.com

What you get

 
Bonanza Jellybean 2009-07-19 09:26:41 AM  
She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.

 
hej 2009-07-19 09:27:43 AM  
I expect great things from this thread.

 
SineSwiper [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 09:28:13 AM  
They are just trying to make sure they don't get murdered by Putin.

/damn first-world democracy acts like a third-world dictatorship

 
eraser8 2009-07-19 09:28:54 AM  
They should ship mail-order brides dried -- kinda like Sea Monkeys. That would save lots on postage costs. Then, when they arrive, you just add water and *boom* instant sex life.

 
BigLuca 2009-07-19 09:32:01 AM  
Picture fail AND filter pwnage... I lose.

http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/ugly-man-transvestite-fat-biatch-men-women.jpg

Same picture Link (new window) (sfw)

/way too much typing for a throw away joke...

 
curtreiter 2009-07-19 09:32:31 AM  
Hmmmm....just add vodka

 
BigLuca 2009-07-19 09:34:40 AM  
I give up, going to get coffee...

 
HONDOWAYNE 2009-07-19 09:39:53 AM  
Maybe it`s on the rise because Russian chicks know when to keep their pie holes shut, and of course to do what they are told. The best 5 years with a Russian chick are always better than a life time with a miserable biatch,,,,, I always say.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-07-19 09:40:39 AM  
HONDOWAYNE: Maybe it`s on the rise because Russian chicks know when to keep their pie holes shut, and of course to do what they are told. The best 5 years with a Russian chick are always better than a life time with a miserable biatch,,,,, I always say.

You know, commas don't really work that way,,,, just saying.

 
squishedhead 2009-07-19 09:45:27 AM  
I'm glad there are women that want to marry American men. I no longer believe in marriage as an institution - not sure if other American women feel that way, but I do.

 
fortean chicken 2009-07-19 09:53:23 AM  
I actually know a guy who got a mail-order Czech bride. I still can't believe people do this. How can anyone think this is a good idea?

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 09:54:15 AM  
fortean chicken: I actually know a guy who got a mail-order Czech bride. I still can't believe people do this. How can anyone think this is a good idea?

The Czech was in the mail?

 
Pay the Man 2009-07-19 09:54:21 AM  
fortean chicken: I actually know a guy who got a mail-order Czech bride. I still can't believe people do this. How can anyone think this is a good idea?

Did they tell him the Czech was in the mail once he'd ordered it?

 
MissDementia 2009-07-19 09:54:22 AM  
squishedhead: I'm glad there are women that want to marry American men. I no longer believe in marriage as an institution - not sure if other American women feel that way, but I do.

I tried that whole "marriage" thing once. Didn't work out to well for me. He went from snuggly-cuddly "I don't care, what do YOU want to do today?" to "We're married now, screw you biatch. Get your own damn coffee and get me a beer while you're up." pretty much overnight.

Now I just collect boy toys so we never leave the "I'll get you a beer while you fix my coffee" happy snuggly-cuddly stage. It works much better that way, I think.

 
krusader3z 2009-07-19 09:56:14 AM  
Where do I sign up?

 
mecaenas 2009-07-19 09:56:15 AM  
BigLuca: Picture fail AND filter pwnage... I lose.

http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/ugly-man-transvestite-fat-biatch-men-women.jpg

Same picture Link (new window) (sfw)

/way too much typing for a throw away joke...


Double FAIL.

 
ambercat 2009-07-19 10:00:12 AM  
squishedhead: I'm glad there are women that want to marry steal the money of American men by convincing them they are not like all those mean American women. I no longer believe in marriage as an institution - not sure if other American women feel that way, but I do.

Believing a mail order bride of any stripe when she tells you that all she wants to do is cook and clean and be subservient to you and have sex with you and look good for you is about as smart as believing that the nice Nigerian prince really needs your help and that you can make thousands of dollars a week working out of your home.

Also see: There's no such thing as a free lunch, and if it looks too good to be true, IT PROBABLY IS.

 
violetvolume 2009-07-19 10:00:24 AM  
And they say the gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage!

 
eraser8 2009-07-19 10:00:42 AM  
mecaenas: BigLuca: Picture fail AND filter pwnage... I lose.

http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/ugly-man-transvestite-fat-biatch-men-women.jpg

Same picture Link (new window) (sfw)

/way too much typing for a throw away joke...

Double FAIL.


216.77.188.54

 
cats4rent 2009-07-19 10:03:08 AM  
i have a friend who wouldn't listen to reason, who has spent every dime he had on some mysterious russian girl that has failed to show up here going on four months now.

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 10:04:45 AM  
I know a guy who's married to a mail order bride. He said they're everything he was lead to believe and more. The only thing they lack? An undeserved sense of entitlement.

 
Pollexabator 2009-07-19 10:06:34 AM  
Wait, I'm confused. You pay HER...? Why would ANYONE agree to that? If you want US citizenship you're going to have to pay me.

/that's the way it's done for women in Central and South American sham marriages
//or so I've heard

 
Pay the Man 2009-07-19 10:08:34 AM  
Pollexabator: Wait, I'm confused. You pay HER...? Why would ANYONE agree to that? If you want US citizenship you're going to have to pay me.

/that's the way it's done for women in Central and South American sham marriages
//or so I've heard


Do they pay in tacos, or tequila?

 
tcaptain 2009-07-19 10:10:17 AM  
HONDOWAYNE: Maybe it`s on the rise because Russian chicks know when to keep their pie holes shut, and of course to do what they are told. The best 5 years with a Russian chick are always better than a life time with a miserable biatch,,,,, I always say.

Wow...you don't know many russian women do you?

 
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science 2009-07-19 10:11:52 AM  
FTFA: One Sheepshead Bay man said he gets offers all the time from marriage brokers.

"I get calls asking me to marry one of these girls every other week," said the Ukrainian immigrant, who came to Brooklyn in 1975 and is a US citizen.

"It's easy money," he said. "And the girls are really hot." [...]

A marriage broker contacted by a Post reporter posing as a green-card seeker walked him through the process.

The broker said the marriage would run the reporter $31,500 in cash.

Of that total, $25,000 would go to the fiancée -- with $10,000 given up front and $15,000 paid after the green-card interview with Citizenship and Immigration Services. The remaining $6,500 would go to the agency for paperwork.

The broker picks a "suitable" match from their database of eligible US citizens. Then the couple goes to City Hall for a marriage license.


I don't know about the rest of you, but twenty five grand plus a hot Russian sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

 
dofus 2009-07-19 10:12:23 AM  
dead_dangler: The Czech was in the male?

They're doing it wrong

 
unfarkingbelievable 2009-07-19 10:28:04 AM  
I wish someone would put an end to these stinky, unwashed Russian/Czech/whatever green-card whores soiling our country.

 
Rose Red 2009-07-19 10:32:23 AM  
I know someone who did this and she made him MISERABLE.

 
altinos 2009-07-19 10:33:20 AM  
I worked with two people who had mail order Russian brides. One, I was convinced she would run off as soon as the honeymoon was over. The other, I'm convinced she actually did love him and wanted to stay with him.

Even in this economy, it's probably better than what they came from.

 
replaced by golf cart 2009-07-19 10:36:00 AM  
I'm on my third. Keep 'em coming.

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 10:37:28 AM  
It's funny that a number of Farkettes are trying desperately to convince us that mail order brides are a bad idea. What are you afraid of, ladies?

 
hamiltonjdavid [TotalFark] 2009-07-19 10:42:41 AM  
Rose Red: I know someone who did this and she made him MISERABLE.

Sounds like a legitimate marriage to me.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-07-19 10:46:00 AM  
Rose Red: I know someone who did this and she made him MISERABLE.

I know someone who did this and they are happily married after 18 years. Oh, anecdotes are fun!

 
InfamousBLT 2009-07-19 10:50:17 AM  
dead_dangler: It's funny that a number of Farkettes are trying desperately to convince us that mail order brides are a bad idea. What are you afraid of, ladies?

They are afraid that we are finally wising up to the truth, that American women are mostly fat obnoxious biatches who aren't worth the effort it takes to get what little we do actually get out of them.

/recently single
//you can't tell can you?

 
Disorganized 2009-07-19 10:59:10 AM  
//She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.

Came for the ATHF. Leaving Satisfied.

 
squishedhead 2009-07-19 11:12:08 AM  
InfamousBLT: dead_dangler: It's funny that a number of Farkettes are trying desperately to convince us that mail order brides are a bad idea. What are you afraid of, ladies?

They are afraid that we are finally wising up to the truth, that American womenmen are mostly fat obnoxious biatchespricks who aren't worth the effort it takes to get what little we do actually get out of them.

/recently single
//you can't tell can you?


Likewise!

/not so recently single
//learned my lesson

 
Corneliusm 2009-07-19 11:26:43 AM  
cats4rent: i have a friend who wouldn't listen to reason, who has spent every dime he had on some mysterious russian girl that has failed to show up here going on four months now.

He's doing it wrong. They're supposed to pay him, not the other way around.

/so I've heard

 
missmez [TotalFark] 2009-07-19 11:37:31 AM  
I don't know anyone who married a mail-order bride, but I did recently move to a neighborhood with tons of Russian immigrants. Now that its hot and everyone leaves their windows open, come evening the arguments are frequent and intense.

I'd be annoyed but my dogs are kind of barky and no one ever complains about that.

/sometimes they throw each other's stuff out their windows, which is funny

 
No Such Agency 2009-07-19 11:37:37 AM  
Yeaaaaah, I thought everyone knew that $25,000 later, the girl either never appears, or you come home four months after the wedding to find her shiny-suit-wearing "cousins" Nikolai and Sergei cutting coke on your coffee table.

How hard up do you have to BE to get involved in a scheme like this anyway? The women, I can't blame at all. Russia is a dangerous, corrupt dictatorship after all and I'd suck a lot of dick myself to get out if I lived there. The Western men... yeah they're not so much looking for a "wife" as a "full-time personal prostitute". So really, they deserve to get fleeced.

 
remember the topos 2009-07-19 11:42:23 AM  
It's just like auto market. The quality of American models has gone downhill in recent years, so we start importing. Makes sense to me.

 
missmez [TotalFark] 2009-07-19 11:44:29 AM  
dead_dangler: It's funny that a number of Farkettes are trying desperately to convince us that mail order brides are a bad idea. What are you afraid of, ladies?

Because we deep down we are all patriots. If you're going to get rolled by a chick way out of your league, we'd prefer it was an American chick, goddammit.

 
Rip Dashrock 2009-07-19 11:46:08 AM  
American, foreign, dosen't matter. Once the new car smell wears off, it's all down hill. Nature of the beast.

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 11:47:13 AM  
No Such Agency: Yeaaaaah, I thought everyone knew that $25,000 later, the girl either never appears, or you come home four months after the wedding to find her shiny-suit-wearing "cousins" Nikolai and Sergei cutting coke on your coffee table.

How hard up do you have to BE to get involved in a scheme like this anyway? The women, I can't blame at all. Russia is a dangerous, corrupt dictatorship after all and I'd suck a lot of dick myself to get out if I lived there. The Western men... yeah they're not so much looking for a "wife" as a "full-time personal prostitute". So really, they deserve to get fleeced.


That's not true. I know several men who have married mail order brides and they're quite happy with them (and the wives are quite happy too). And in spite of your obvious hatred of "Western men", they're not all looking for a "full-time personal prostitute" and more than "Western women" are self-entitled harpies looking for "a full-time bank machine".

 
bahr [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 11:56:45 AM  
Russian women = too dangerous, as has been stated here. If I were looking afresh, I'd direct my attention toward South America and southeast Asia.

 
altinos 2009-07-19 11:58:46 AM  
dead_dangler: It's funny that a number of Farkettes are trying desperately to convince us that mail order brides are a bad idea. What are you afraid of, ladies?

Same reason they hate prostitution and strip clubs. They hate competition, and want to corner the market.

:)

 
atlas spanked 2009-07-19 12:46:40 PM  
Hey Russian mail order can't be any worse than the all-too-often spoiled, whiny, entitled, chip-on-the-shoulder American chick.

/The world is flat.

 
orclover 2009-07-19 12:48:06 PM  
Got a buddy who did this a few years ago. This is a man who's life is a roadmap of bad choices causing him pain and aggrivation, his life a daily lesson to the rest of us on what not to do if you want to stay sane.

It was the worst decision of his life. It was like watching a man dry swallow molten lava while everyone was pleading with him to stop, bad idea friend!

Before and after thier divorce she pretty much ruined what was left of his sad life. Years later and they are still in litigation for stupid things. She owns most of his stuff and half his ass for the next 15 years.

She slept with him. Twice. In 2 years.

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-19 12:49:46 PM  
orclover: Got a buddy who did this a few years ago. This is a man who's life is a roadmap of bad choices causing him pain and aggrivation, his life a daily lesson to the rest of us on what not to do if you want to stay sane.

It was the worst decision of his life. It was like watching a man dry swallow molten lava while everyone was pleading with him to stop, bad idea friend!

Before and after thier divorce she pretty much ruined what was left of his sad life. Years later and they are still in litigation for stupid things. She owns most of his stuff and half his ass for the next 15 years.

She slept with him. Twice. In 2 years.


And this would be different if he married a western woman, how?

 
orclover 2009-07-19 12:56:21 PM  
dead_dangler: And this would be different if he married a western woman, how?

Well for one thing communication would have been possible. She spoke no english, he spoke no russian. The truth is the same today long after thier divorce.

The crowning acheivment of his life of bad choices.

 
Ball of Confusion 2009-07-19 01:01:18 PM  
fortean chicken: I actually know a guy who got a mail-order Czech bride. I still can't believe people do this. How can anyone think this is a good idea?

You sound forsaken.

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-19 01:02:40 PM  
Haha

/looking at you, AWs

 
Mongo cut wood 2009-07-19 01:20:41 PM  
One advantage is they come in a big box that your kids can play in.

www.rd.com

 
JohDHJ [TotalFark] 2009-07-19 01:58:01 PM  
Mongo cut wood: One advantage is they come in a big box that your kids can play in.

I'd play in her box.

/Got nothing.

 
chu2dogg 2009-07-19 02:26:01 PM  
dead_dangler: I know a guy who's married to a mail order bride. He said they're everything he was lead to believe and more. The only thing they lack? An undeserved sense of entitlement.

I knew a guy once that married a mail order filipino or some such. He did his research and found it was actually pretty cheap, and you get to talk to different chicks over the internet to pick which one. It was after a miserable divorce and fell for the myth/reality that foreign chicks would be much less entitled. He's been happy ever since although I've heard stories where the broad bails after a few months or a year and takes half your shiat in court.

It's hit or miss probably. Just like marrying an American chick. Anyone that says different probably has an agenda to push.

 
Alien Robot 2009-07-19 03:07:26 PM  
missmez: I did recently move to a neighborhood with tons of Russian immigrants. Now that its hot and everyone leaves their windows open, come evening the arguments are frequent and intense.

That's just the foreplay before the wild make-up sex later on. It's how they get aroused. You need to learn the rules of the game.

 
No Such Agency 2009-07-19 03:24:48 PM  
dead_dangler:
And in spite of your obvious hatred of "Western men", they're not all looking for a "full-time personal prostitute" and more than "Western women" are self-entitled harpies looking for "a full-time bank machine".

You moose sucker, I AM a "western man". I wasn't speaking in generalities there.

 
JustAce 2009-07-19 03:45:37 PM  
The real question is who the hell would marry a mail-order without a pre-nup?

 
My pr0n name is Tom Seaview 2009-07-19 04:07:56 PM  
atlas spanked: Russian mail order can't be any worse than the all-too-often spoiled, whiny, entitled, chip-on-the-shoulder American chick.

That's exactly what I, and a bunch of my friends, thought when we married our Russian brides. Turns out we were right.
The secret is to marry & divorce an American girl first. That way, you can appreciate how great Russian women really are.

/going on 9 years now
//smartest thing I ever did

 
Haoie 2009-07-19 05:01:59 PM  
I know the ads keep targeting me, anyway.

 
Kalashinator 2009-07-19 05:34:15 PM  
Bonanza Jellybean: She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.

+1

 
OscarTamerz 2009-07-19 08:20:55 PM  
I know 4 guys with mail order brides. One was from Albania, one from Slovakia, one from Thailand with a second wife from China and one from Russia. The guy with the Russian wife is a corporate mucky muck with a Harvard MBA who is actually gay so she's more of a paid beard. The 2 wives from Thailand and China were from families involved in organized crime, heroin and counterfeit goods, but they were smart enough to keep their noses clean so they got citizenships and split up after 5 and 4 years respectively and paid him well enough so he got a house out of the deal. The Albanian and Slovakian screwed up their 2 husbands lives something terrible and it cost both of them $100,000 to get out from under. One of the guys moved to China not to avoid prosecution but to get away from the hassles he was stuck with.

My sister knew an Aussie in Vegas who did this, married a gay guy in Vegas, had a cover job and hooked nights and weekends. She didn't get busted, like 99% of the hookers in Vegas, paid off her gay hubby and bought a house in the low market in the early 90s and overall did quite well. The only thing she slipped on was she had a much better car than she could have reasonably had but the IRS never got her.

It's an ongoing criminal conspiracy and that's the way it has to be run. Anybody that thinks they're going to deal with the Russian mob and get literally farked instead of figuratively farked is insane.

 
what the cat dragged in 2009-07-19 08:50:31 PM  
BigLuca: Picture fail AND filter pwnage... I lose.



The missing image made it work, that is, you get nothing.

 
Mayah 2009-07-20 12:24:41 AM  
I wish that no one would have to be this desperate, but you got to admit they have guts. Can you imaging leaving your family, your friends, your country to marry a stranger for the chance to have a better life? Going somewhere where you don't know anyone, don't know the laws or customs, maybe don't even know the language that well?

It's an awful risk, and what this article says about how things are in Russia isn't pleasant.

 
blackheart666 2009-07-20 12:48:36 AM  
Well... Russian girls can always get jobs for some of the sites that pay for Foobies links... At least they have options...

/would take in a Russian chick that needs a place to stay...
//as long as she looks like Peaches...

 
HappyLittleTree 2009-07-20 01:03:19 AM  
You know how people keep putting themselves in sh*tty situations and then wondering why bad things keep happening? If you have discounted an entire country, the women you go after/attract suck and so do you. I mean, if you keep overlooking an average/cute girl for the hot whore who keeps putting you in the 'friend' category, that is all you.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with wanting a spouse from another country as long as the conditions are right. I recently saw a documentary where it was basically like online dating and the girls spent months getting to know someone. I just find it somewhat suspicious because what ideals are you chasing that you think only another country can offer?

 
ShonenBat 2009-07-20 03:14:10 AM  
Forget this. $30,000 for someone who'll eventually leave your ass? I don't care if she's Megan Fox's clone.

Cheaper just to pick up a hot chick that just hit 35 and is starting to get desperate. Prenup and the deal is done. Don't have to be handsome to be a hero!

 
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