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(Yahoo) Obvious Ordering teens not to have sex flat out doesn't work. Who knew?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 210
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Sleeping Monkey [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 04:41:24 PM  
Most people.

 
Chariset [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 05:43:56 PM  
Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

 
Makh [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 06:23:13 PM  
From what I read on Fark, some of the teachers aren't much help in this matter.

 
CitizenTed [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 07:03:41 PM  
Ordering teens to have sex doesn't really work, either.

/They always turn me down.

 
wejash [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 07:37:32 PM  
Makh: From what I read on Fark, some of the teachers aren't much help in this matter.

And since so many of the teachers are less than the stunning beauties of song and stage, you'd think they would be less than successful on that...score.

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 07:47:04 PM  
Ordering teens to have sex will result in a visit from Chris Hansen and the local cops.

 
FuturePastNow [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 08:48:55 PM  
CitizenTed: Ordering teens to have sex doesn't really work, either.

/They always turn me down.


You've got to offer them free candy.

 
Epsilon [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 08:53:22 PM  
When will the fundies figure out that a lack of education doesn't work? If I'm a horny 15 year old boy and some slutty vixen is willing to spread her gams and invite me in for a dip, I'm not gonna say no.

If I'm educated about sex I will know how to prevent STD/pregnancy. If my parents have chosen to leave me ignorant of such methods, it's probable to ruin many people (the mother, father, baby, both sets of grandparents).

I can't believe some people willingly keep their kids ignorant of sexual protection.

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:26:06 PM  
Every parent of a teenager ever?

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:27:06 PM  
Epsilon: I can't believe some people willingly keep their kids ignorant of sexual protection.

You forget about the part where abstinence only education outright lies about the effectiveness of various BC methods.

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:31:32 PM  
You never go ass to mouth. Never.

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:43:45 PM  
shanrick: You never go ass to mouth. Never.

...unless they are giving up the butt sex.

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 10:58:50 PM  
shanrick: You never go ass to mouth. Never.

Solve a whole lot of that pregnancy nastiness, it would.

 
Cagey B [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 02:42:35 AM  
I'm going to start an alternate sex ed program that I'll contract out to schools that involves simply showing teens Eraserhead.

It may not be as effective as actually instructing people about birth control, but I'm pretty sure that it'll be more effective than abstinence-only education. Much cheaper too.

 
Aboleth 2009-07-18 03:28:56 AM  
Some teens are hot. Some teens are not.

 
Baryogenesis 2009-07-18 03:31:13 AM  
Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:31:32 AM  
Not that many people at all have sex flat out anymore. It's a kinky age we live in, my friends.

Though I once knew I guy who masturbated flat out for three days and he could sizzle butter on the thing for a week.

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-18 03:34:23 AM  
Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.

 
greenz [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:37:45 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Don't be dumb. Teens have been having sex since the dawn of the human race.

 
at80eighty [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:41:05 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible


is it really as simple as you make it out to be?

 
fanbladesaresharp 2009-07-18 03:41:32 AM  
FTFA: In 2006, about one million young people aged 10 to 24 were reported to have chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis. Nearly one-quarter of females aged 15 to 19, and 45 percent of females aged 20 to 24 had a human papillomavirus (HPV) infection during 2003-2004.

Still want to hit it? Have fun.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:45:35 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.


The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

 
scalpod 2009-07-18 03:46:16 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com

Abstinence
Not %100 effective

 
grimeystubs 2009-07-18 03:46:45 AM  
Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

 
Ishkur 2009-07-18 03:48:50 AM  
Have you noticed, that people are still having sex
All the denouncement had absolutely no effect
Parents and councelors constantly scorn them
but people are still having sex and nothing seems to stop them

Do you realise, that people are still having sex
they've been told not to, perhaps they are perplexed
When you see them holding hands they're making future plans
to engage in the activity, do you understand me?

People are still having sex, lust keeps on lurking
Nothing makes them stop, this AIDS thing's not working

People are still having sex, it's been going on for quite a while
Perhaps it's quite fashionable, it's hasn't got enough style

It's a fact that people are still having sex
It's rather obvious, it's just what one expects
The evidence is all around that everyone in every town
has had it one time or another in their life

At this very moment, people are still having sex
In a downtown condom, or street in the projects
Although you can't see them, or hear their breathing sounds
someone in this world is having sex right now

 
oroku_saki 2009-07-18 03:51:44 AM  
grimeystubs: Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

Right, and when Republicans controlled the government, that abstinence thing always worked perfectly.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:53:59 AM  
oroku_saki: grimeystubs: Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

Right, and when Republicans controlled the government, that abstinence thing always worked perfectly.


Dick Cheney's smirky visage can give me a soft-on for days.

 
texastag 2009-07-18 03:54:04 AM  
Not these people...

www.starzlife.com

They know different now.

/That little one is trying to steal my soul through the internet
//Palin will lose in the '12 primary
///You heard it here last
////Vasectomy for me, condoms for the teens

 
Ishkur 2009-07-18 03:54:50 AM  
Proportionally speaking, the reason for the rise in STDs and teenage pregnancies probably has to do with demographics.

The 90s were a decade that saw Generation-X exit their teens, and as a demographic they never numbered many. Thus, sex statistics declined.

The true children of the Boomers, the Millenials, are an echo demographic bulge that began in 82, and had its peak years of 87-92, and tapered off in the late 90s. These kids are entering their prime sexual activity years, and since there are far more of them than there were in the 90s, sex statistics go up.

It's a numbers thing, and it owes itself to the forces of probability, not any sane political policy. Though Bush' Abstinence Program did little help.

 
Tatsumaki Senpuu-Kyaku! 2009-07-18 03:57:29 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.


I'd put up a "Don't feed the troll" image, but who am I kidding? He'd still get 100+ bites.

This guy's shtick is perfect for FARK.

 
Britney Spear's Speculum 2009-07-18 03:59:11 AM  
Epsilon: When will the fundies figure out that a lack of education doesn't work?

You've got to look at the issue more in depth. Religion thrives on poverty, lack of education and large families or basically, anything that promotes these three ignorant pillars of religion, fundies will support.

 
bhcompy 2009-07-18 04:00:34 AM  
My guardians told me not to do it. They also told me what to do if it happened anyways and the consequences that choice can have. I didn't do it.

Ordering teens not to do isn't the problem. Not fully educating them is. I'm going to tell my son the same thing when he's of age. Something like, "Don't stick yourself anywhere until you're old enough to handle the consequences. If you do, protect yourself, but I'll kick your ass out when you hit 18."

/My grandma had my mom when she was 20, my mom had me when she was 19, had my son in my early 20s, don't want my son to be a teenage father
//glad i didnt have a girl

 
zunkus 2009-07-18 04:00:39 AM  
What?

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:02:02 AM  
Ishkur: Proportionally speaking, the reason for the rise in STDs and teenage pregnancies probably has to do with demographics.

The 90s were a decade that saw Generation-X exit their teens, and as a demographic they never numbered many. Thus, sex statistics declined.

The true children of the Boomers, the Millenials, are an echo demographic bulge that began in 82, and had its peak years of 87-92, and tapered off in the late 90s. These kids are entering their prime sexual activity years, and since there are far more of them than there were in the 90s, sex statistics go up.

It's a numbers thing, and it owes itself to the forces of probability, not any sane political policy. Though Bush' Abstinence Program did little help.


I think I understand where you are coming from. Kids entering their prime sexytime years give us a bulge, and the Bush Abstinence Program was as useless for guys as the Dick Abstinence Program was for the lovely biatches and hoes. I understand completely now.

 
Wii.Tard 2009-07-18 04:02:45 AM  
Tatsumaki Senpuu-Kyaku!: I'd put up a "Don't feed the troll" image, but who am I kidding? He'd still get 100+ bites.

This guy's shtick is perfect for FARK.


Can I acknowledge your post as being very smart and I still will not include the troll.

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-07-18 04:05:53 AM  
Sex flat? They have teen sex flats now? Damn, I need a new apartment.

 
cuzsis 2009-07-18 04:10:16 AM  
bhcompy: My guardians told me not to do it. They also told me what to do if it happened anyways and the consequences that choice can have. I didn't do it.

Ordering teens not to do isn't the problem. Not fully educating them is. I'm going to tell my son the same thing when he's of age. Something like, "Don't stick yourself anywhere until you're old enough to handle the consequences. If you do, protect yourself, but I'll kick your ass out when you hit 18."

/My grandma had my mom when she was 20, my mom had me when she was 19, had my son in my early 20s, don't want my son to be a teenage father
//glad i didnt have a girl


Yes, having children during your prime reproductive years is such a bad thing. Your body handles it so much better and so does your mind (being able to function on almost no sleep at that age anyway.) How terrible!

Or do you mean that it's terrible that our economy is completely FUBAR'd and ADULTS can't get jobs to support themselves or families? (Noticed that all your examples were over 18...)

/mother at 21
//no problems except a shiatty economy, and that doesn't disappear just because you're 35.
///not meaning to mock you at all, if you don't want to have children that early that's totally fine, it's a personal choice after all. But I would argue there's nothing inherently wrong about wanting to have kids at that particular age.

 
skeptic99 2009-07-18 04:10:19 AM  
You know what's a really good idea?
Teach all the teens that condoms are utterly ineffectual. Then none of the teens will use them.
But that's all right-every single person here who was ever a teen knows tht the one thing that will make every teenager act perfectly is to have some sort of pompous, ignorant adult speak slowly, and cluelessy, in a firm voice, just like it worked for them back in the trailer-park days.

 
harbingerofdoom 2009-07-18 04:12:06 AM  
ages 10-24?
c'mon... you cant seriously want me to freak out about THAT.. try breaking that down to 10-14, 15-17 and 18-25 and let me see THOSE numbers then perhaps I might take your research a bit more seriously.

Personally, im not going to freak about the 18 & up crowd and the only numbers I would give a rats rusty **** about are the 17 & under numbers.

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 04:13:24 AM  
texastag: //Palin will lose in the '12 primary

Never underestimate the power of stupid.

 
cuzsis 2009-07-18 04:14:12 AM  
harbingerofdoom: ages 10-24?
c'mon... you cant seriously want me to freak out about THAT.. try breaking that down to 10-14, 15-17 and 18-25 and let me see THOSE numbers then perhaps I might take your research a bit more seriously.

Personally, im not going to freak about the 18 & up crowd and the only numbers I would give a rats rusty **** about are the 17 & under numbers.


This.

/doesn't even really freak out about 17's and a couple 16's. There's some in every batch anyway.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:14:32 AM  
fanbladesaresharp: FTFA: In 2006, about one million young people aged 10 to 24 were reported to have chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis. Nearly one-quarter of females aged 15 to 19, and 45 percent of females aged 20 to 24 had a human papillomavirus (HPV) infection during 2003-2004.

Still want to hit it? Have fun.


Yeah but the rest are fatties. Anyway how do you get infected with a lap dog, that's the craziest thing I ever heard.

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 04:16:11 AM  
Flat out sex is old and boring. Try pulling her hips to the edge of the bed (while the man stands on the floor). Lift one or both of the womans legs over your shoulders.
Dudes with small peeners can really get something done in that position.

That's what one of my friends told me.

 
Aten 2009-07-18 04:17:11 AM  
About one-third of adolescents hadn't received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18.

Whoa, that's just stupid.

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-18 04:20:31 AM  
colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.


That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.

 
D_Evans45 2009-07-18 04:25:37 AM  
My girlfriend throughout high school was a Jehovah's Witness, the religion that prohibits fornication more than most.

I banged her out at home, at her home, at school, wherever her parents weren't. She couldn't get enough.

More than "flat out doesn't work", more like direct correlation.

 
OgreMagi 2009-07-18 04:25:54 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

It only works for the ones who are able to abstain. Few, however, are able to overcome thousands of years of evolution demanding they have sex.

 
retro128 2009-07-18 04:26:25 AM  
Bu..bu..but...What about the promise rings?

ScottHimself: That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.

Reason doesn't last long when a chick who's hot for you starts rubbing her tits in your face. The concept of abstinence is total bullshiat, which is why the only time you ever hear about it, it's from some crazy who's waving a Bible around.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:26:47 AM  
ScottHimself: colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.


That's why I'm all about popping caps in the deaf.

 
OgreMagi 2009-07-18 04:32:43 AM  
retro128: Reason doesn't last long when a chick who's hot for you starts rubbing her tits in your face.

I had that happen once. She was a total skank and I figured she would give me some lovely disease, so I was able to walk away. Ok, I hobbled away. I'm still a guy.

 
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