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(Yahoo) Obvious Ordering teens not to have sex flat out doesn't work. Who knew?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 210
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210 Comments   (+0 »)


 
Sleeping Monkey [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 04:41:24 PM  
Most people.

 
Chariset [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 05:43:56 PM  
Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

 
Makh [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 06:23:13 PM  
From what I read on Fark, some of the teachers aren't much help in this matter.

 
CitizenTed [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 07:03:41 PM  
Ordering teens to have sex doesn't really work, either.

/They always turn me down.

 
wejash [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 07:37:32 PM  
Makh: From what I read on Fark, some of the teachers aren't much help in this matter.

And since so many of the teachers are less than the stunning beauties of song and stage, you'd think they would be less than successful on that...score.

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 07:47:04 PM  
Ordering teens to have sex will result in a visit from Chris Hansen and the local cops.

 
FuturePastNow [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 08:48:55 PM  
CitizenTed: Ordering teens to have sex doesn't really work, either.

/They always turn me down.


You've got to offer them free candy.

 
Epsilon [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 08:53:22 PM  
When will the fundies figure out that a lack of education doesn't work? If I'm a horny 15 year old boy and some slutty vixen is willing to spread her gams and invite me in for a dip, I'm not gonna say no.

If I'm educated about sex I will know how to prevent STD/pregnancy. If my parents have chosen to leave me ignorant of such methods, it's probable to ruin many people (the mother, father, baby, both sets of grandparents).

I can't believe some people willingly keep their kids ignorant of sexual protection.

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:26:06 PM  
Every parent of a teenager ever?

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:27:06 PM  
Epsilon: I can't believe some people willingly keep their kids ignorant of sexual protection.

You forget about the part where abstinence only education outright lies about the effectiveness of various BC methods.

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:31:32 PM  
You never go ass to mouth. Never.

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 09:43:45 PM  
shanrick: You never go ass to mouth. Never.

...unless they are giving up the butt sex.

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-07-17 10:58:50 PM  
shanrick: You never go ass to mouth. Never.

Solve a whole lot of that pregnancy nastiness, it would.

 
Cagey B [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 02:42:35 AM  
I'm going to start an alternate sex ed program that I'll contract out to schools that involves simply showing teens Eraserhead.

It may not be as effective as actually instructing people about birth control, but I'm pretty sure that it'll be more effective than abstinence-only education. Much cheaper too.

 
Aboleth 2009-07-18 03:28:56 AM  
Some teens are hot. Some teens are not.

 
Baryogenesis 2009-07-18 03:31:13 AM  
Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:31:32 AM  
Not that many people at all have sex flat out anymore. It's a kinky age we live in, my friends.

Though I once knew I guy who masturbated flat out for three days and he could sizzle butter on the thing for a week.

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-18 03:34:23 AM  
Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.

 
greenz [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:37:45 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Don't be dumb. Teens have been having sex since the dawn of the human race.

 
at80eighty [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:41:05 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible


is it really as simple as you make it out to be?

 
fanbladesaresharp 2009-07-18 03:41:32 AM  
FTFA: In 2006, about one million young people aged 10 to 24 were reported to have chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis. Nearly one-quarter of females aged 15 to 19, and 45 percent of females aged 20 to 24 had a human papillomavirus (HPV) infection during 2003-2004.

Still want to hit it? Have fun.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:45:35 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.


The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

 
scalpod 2009-07-18 03:46:16 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com

Abstinence
Not %100 effective

 
grimeystubs 2009-07-18 03:46:45 AM  
Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

 
Ishkur 2009-07-18 03:48:50 AM  
Have you noticed, that people are still having sex
All the denouncement had absolutely no effect
Parents and councelors constantly scorn them
but people are still having sex and nothing seems to stop them

Do you realise, that people are still having sex
they've been told not to, perhaps they are perplexed
When you see them holding hands they're making future plans
to engage in the activity, do you understand me?

People are still having sex, lust keeps on lurking
Nothing makes them stop, this AIDS thing's not working

People are still having sex, it's been going on for quite a while
Perhaps it's quite fashionable, it's hasn't got enough style

It's a fact that people are still having sex
It's rather obvious, it's just what one expects
The evidence is all around that everyone in every town
has had it one time or another in their life

At this very moment, people are still having sex
In a downtown condom, or street in the projects
Although you can't see them, or hear their breathing sounds
someone in this world is having sex right now

 
oroku_saki 2009-07-18 03:51:44 AM  
grimeystubs: Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

Right, and when Republicans controlled the government, that abstinence thing always worked perfectly.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:53:59 AM  
oroku_saki: grimeystubs: Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

Right, and when Republicans controlled the government, that abstinence thing always worked perfectly.


Dick Cheney's smirky visage can give me a soft-on for days.

 
texastag 2009-07-18 03:54:04 AM  
Not these people...

www.starzlife.com

They know different now.

/That little one is trying to steal my soul through the internet
//Palin will lose in the '12 primary
///You heard it here last
////Vasectomy for me, condoms for the teens

 
Ishkur 2009-07-18 03:54:50 AM  
Proportionally speaking, the reason for the rise in STDs and teenage pregnancies probably has to do with demographics.

The 90s were a decade that saw Generation-X exit their teens, and as a demographic they never numbered many. Thus, sex statistics declined.

The true children of the Boomers, the Millenials, are an echo demographic bulge that began in 82, and had its peak years of 87-92, and tapered off in the late 90s. These kids are entering their prime sexual activity years, and since there are far more of them than there were in the 90s, sex statistics go up.

It's a numbers thing, and it owes itself to the forces of probability, not any sane political policy. Though Bush' Abstinence Program did little help.

 
Tatsumaki Senpuu-Kyaku! 2009-07-18 03:57:29 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.


I'd put up a "Don't feed the troll" image, but who am I kidding? He'd still get 100+ bites.

This guy's shtick is perfect for FARK.

 
Britney Spear's Speculum 2009-07-18 03:59:11 AM  
Epsilon: When will the fundies figure out that a lack of education doesn't work?

You've got to look at the issue more in depth. Religion thrives on poverty, lack of education and large families or basically, anything that promotes these three ignorant pillars of religion, fundies will support.

 
bhcompy 2009-07-18 04:00:34 AM  
My guardians told me not to do it. They also told me what to do if it happened anyways and the consequences that choice can have. I didn't do it.

Ordering teens not to do isn't the problem. Not fully educating them is. I'm going to tell my son the same thing when he's of age. Something like, "Don't stick yourself anywhere until you're old enough to handle the consequences. If you do, protect yourself, but I'll kick your ass out when you hit 18."

/My grandma had my mom when she was 20, my mom had me when she was 19, had my son in my early 20s, don't want my son to be a teenage father
//glad i didnt have a girl

 
zunkus 2009-07-18 04:00:39 AM  
What?

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:02:02 AM  
Ishkur: Proportionally speaking, the reason for the rise in STDs and teenage pregnancies probably has to do with demographics.

The 90s were a decade that saw Generation-X exit their teens, and as a demographic they never numbered many. Thus, sex statistics declined.

The true children of the Boomers, the Millenials, are an echo demographic bulge that began in 82, and had its peak years of 87-92, and tapered off in the late 90s. These kids are entering their prime sexual activity years, and since there are far more of them than there were in the 90s, sex statistics go up.

It's a numbers thing, and it owes itself to the forces of probability, not any sane political policy. Though Bush' Abstinence Program did little help.


I think I understand where you are coming from. Kids entering their prime sexytime years give us a bulge, and the Bush Abstinence Program was as useless for guys as the Dick Abstinence Program was for the lovely biatches and hoes. I understand completely now.

 
Wii.Tard 2009-07-18 04:02:45 AM  
Tatsumaki Senpuu-Kyaku!: I'd put up a "Don't feed the troll" image, but who am I kidding? He'd still get 100+ bites.

This guy's shtick is perfect for FARK.


Can I acknowledge your post as being very smart and I still will not include the troll.

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-07-18 04:05:53 AM  
Sex flat? They have teen sex flats now? Damn, I need a new apartment.

 
cuzsis 2009-07-18 04:10:16 AM  
bhcompy: My guardians told me not to do it. They also told me what to do if it happened anyways and the consequences that choice can have. I didn't do it.

Ordering teens not to do isn't the problem. Not fully educating them is. I'm going to tell my son the same thing when he's of age. Something like, "Don't stick yourself anywhere until you're old enough to handle the consequences. If you do, protect yourself, but I'll kick your ass out when you hit 18."

/My grandma had my mom when she was 20, my mom had me when she was 19, had my son in my early 20s, don't want my son to be a teenage father
//glad i didnt have a girl


Yes, having children during your prime reproductive years is such a bad thing. Your body handles it so much better and so does your mind (being able to function on almost no sleep at that age anyway.) How terrible!

Or do you mean that it's terrible that our economy is completely FUBAR'd and ADULTS can't get jobs to support themselves or families? (Noticed that all your examples were over 18...)

/mother at 21
//no problems except a shiatty economy, and that doesn't disappear just because you're 35.
///not meaning to mock you at all, if you don't want to have children that early that's totally fine, it's a personal choice after all. But I would argue there's nothing inherently wrong about wanting to have kids at that particular age.

 
skeptic99 2009-07-18 04:10:19 AM  
You know what's a really good idea?
Teach all the teens that condoms are utterly ineffectual. Then none of the teens will use them.
But that's all right-every single person here who was ever a teen knows tht the one thing that will make every teenager act perfectly is to have some sort of pompous, ignorant adult speak slowly, and cluelessy, in a firm voice, just like it worked for them back in the trailer-park days.

 
harbingerofdoom 2009-07-18 04:12:06 AM  
ages 10-24?
c'mon... you cant seriously want me to freak out about THAT.. try breaking that down to 10-14, 15-17 and 18-25 and let me see THOSE numbers then perhaps I might take your research a bit more seriously.

Personally, im not going to freak about the 18 & up crowd and the only numbers I would give a rats rusty **** about are the 17 & under numbers.

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 04:13:24 AM  
texastag: //Palin will lose in the '12 primary

Never underestimate the power of stupid.

 
cuzsis 2009-07-18 04:14:12 AM  
harbingerofdoom: ages 10-24?
c'mon... you cant seriously want me to freak out about THAT.. try breaking that down to 10-14, 15-17 and 18-25 and let me see THOSE numbers then perhaps I might take your research a bit more seriously.

Personally, im not going to freak about the 18 & up crowd and the only numbers I would give a rats rusty **** about are the 17 & under numbers.


This.

/doesn't even really freak out about 17's and a couple 16's. There's some in every batch anyway.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:14:32 AM  
fanbladesaresharp: FTFA: In 2006, about one million young people aged 10 to 24 were reported to have chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis. Nearly one-quarter of females aged 15 to 19, and 45 percent of females aged 20 to 24 had a human papillomavirus (HPV) infection during 2003-2004.

Still want to hit it? Have fun.


Yeah but the rest are fatties. Anyway how do you get infected with a lap dog, that's the craziest thing I ever heard.

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 04:16:11 AM  
Flat out sex is old and boring. Try pulling her hips to the edge of the bed (while the man stands on the floor). Lift one or both of the womans legs over your shoulders.
Dudes with small peeners can really get something done in that position.

That's what one of my friends told me.

 
Aten 2009-07-18 04:17:11 AM  
About one-third of adolescents hadn't received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18.

Whoa, that's just stupid.

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-18 04:20:31 AM  
colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.


That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.

 
D_Evans45 2009-07-18 04:25:37 AM  
My girlfriend throughout high school was a Jehovah's Witness, the religion that prohibits fornication more than most.

I banged her out at home, at her home, at school, wherever her parents weren't. She couldn't get enough.

More than "flat out doesn't work", more like direct correlation.

 
OgreMagi 2009-07-18 04:25:54 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

It only works for the ones who are able to abstain. Few, however, are able to overcome thousands of years of evolution demanding they have sex.

 
retro128 2009-07-18 04:26:25 AM  
Bu..bu..but...What about the promise rings?

ScottHimself: That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.

Reason doesn't last long when a chick who's hot for you starts rubbing her tits in your face. The concept of abstinence is total bullshiat, which is why the only time you ever hear about it, it's from some crazy who's waving a Bible around.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:26:47 AM  
ScottHimself: colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.


That's why I'm all about popping caps in the deaf.

 
OgreMagi 2009-07-18 04:32:43 AM  
retro128: Reason doesn't last long when a chick who's hot for you starts rubbing her tits in your face.

I had that happen once. She was a total skank and I figured she would give me some lovely disease, so I was able to walk away. Ok, I hobbled away. I'm still a guy.

 
Trapper439 2009-07-18 04:34:18 AM  
Tell them sex makes you go blind. It worked for masturbation.

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 04:37:55 AM  
ScottHimself: colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.


Yeah. We are animals.

 
Eudeyrn 2009-07-18 04:40:51 AM  
Tatsumaki Senpuu-Kyaku!: ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.

I'd put up a "Don't feed the troll" image, but who am I kidding? He'd still get 100+ bites.

This guy's shtick is perfect for FARK.


Yeah, I've been convinced he's a troll for the last few threads I've seen him in. He always seem to be working the hippie angle, relentlessly spewing pseudo-psychiatric talk about human nature, what sets us apart from animals, and the like. Even if he's not trolling, he just seems weird.


Here's some abstinence talk from a 16 year old ScottHimself:


When I was 16 a buddy down the street went out of town with his family to Disney World. He told me I could use his house for a party and, being 16, I got cooch and booze on the brain and never stopped to consider whether or not it was within his rights as the non-homeowner to give me permission to use his not-home.

About $400 in alcohol, 100 people, party-thrower-guaranteed-sex, and a massive hangover later his parents came home to find a house that looked like it'd been cleaned by a 16 year old guy with a hangover after a bomb went off in it.

They ask the neighbors who the fark was in their house, and in short time find out somebody threw a party in it. Short interrogation later my buddy rolls on me, and his parents threaten me with B&E, destruction of property, etc. charges. They decided not to, but it sure as hell scared the shiat out of me and got me grounded for a good 6 months.

/oh yeah, how this relates - I got into his house through his doggy door
//later found out they were just scaring me and had no intentions of charging me
///still get invited over to Thanksgiving dinner every year - still very awkward

 
zorlack7 2009-07-18 04:42:27 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.


i161.photobucket.com

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 04:43:16 AM  
ScottHimself: That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant. Maybe the little abominations aren't human if they can't distinctively identify themselves as such.

You must have forgotten what it's like to be a teenager in a body raging with new hormones. Expecting people to go against the biological imperatives is totally unrealistic. Might as well tell kids not to eat or breathe.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 04:44:12 AM  
Eudeyrn:
Here's some abstinence talk from a 16 year old ScottHimself:


When I was 16 a buddy down the street went out of town with his family to Disney World. He told me I could use his house for a party and, being 16, I got cooch and booze on the brain and never stopped to consider whether or not it was within his rights as the non-homeowner to give me permission to use his not-home.

About $400 in alcohol, 100 people, party-thrower-guaranteed-sex, and a massive hangover later his parents came home to find a house that looked like it'd been cleaned by a 16 year old guy with a hangover after a bomb went off in it.

They ask the neighbors who the fark was in their house, and in short time find out somebody threw a party in it. Short interrogation later my buddy rolls on me, and his parents threaten me with B&E, destruction of property, etc. charges. They decided not to, but it sure as hell scared the shiat out of me and got me grounded for a good 6 months.

/oh yeah, how this relates - I got into his house through his doggy door
//later found out they were just scaring me and had no intentions of charging me
///still get invited over to Thanksgiving dinner every year - still very awkward


OH SNAP, BABY!

 
Biological Ali 2009-07-18 04:45:43 AM  
retro128: The concept of abstinence is total bullshiat, which is why the only time you ever hear about it, it's from some crazy who's waving a Bible around.

Not necessarily. Personally, I've found that waving a Bible around greatly enhances the pleasure and satisfaction gained in my own sexual experiences, so it doesn't have to be about abstinence per se.

/what... why are you looking at me like that?
//stop judging me!

 
zunkus 2009-07-18 04:47:13 AM  
These are not the drones your looking for...

 
An Alps Stranger 2009-07-18 04:51:19 AM  
shanrick: You never go ass to mouth. Never.

i25.tinypic.com
Dante approves, Randal and Becky do not.

 
OgreMagi 2009-07-18 04:51:20 AM  
Biological Ali: retro128: The concept of abstinence is total bullshiat, which is why the only time you ever hear about it, it's from some crazy who's waving a Bible around.

Not necessarily. Personally, I've found that waving a Bible around greatly enhances the pleasure and satisfaction gained in my own sexual experiences, so it doesn't have to be about abstinence per se.

/what... why are you looking at me like that?
//stop judging me!


You should carve out the inside of the bible to make a condom and "toy" storage area.

 
nebjammer 2009-07-18 04:53:52 AM  
I have 2 comments:

1. God, grant me the serenity to not have sex with my best friend's girlfriend and to know that masturbation is always the most sensible solution.(Blades of Glory reference)

2. Damn, you can't fark nothing without gettin some sort of disease.

 
adeist69 2009-07-18 04:53:53 AM  
Biological Ali: retro128: The concept of abstinence is total bullshiat, which is why the only time you ever hear about it, it's from some crazy who's waving a Bible around.

Not necessarily. Personally, I've found that waving a Bible around greatly enhances the pleasure and satisfaction gained in my own sexual experiences, so it doesn't have to be about abstinence per se.

/what... why are you looking at me like that?
//stop judging me!



Yeah, that part about Lot and his daughters is kinda hot, isn't it?

 
phrawgh 2009-07-18 04:56:00 AM  
RIP Walter Cronkite

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-18 04:56:53 AM  
Uncle Tractor:
You must have forgotten what it's like to be a teenager in a body raging with new hormones. Expecting people to go against the biological imperatives is totally unrealistic. Might as well tell kids not to eat or breathe.


Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because I, oh I don't know, WAS A PARENT. Maybe that's the best sex ed you can get in the first place.

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 04:58:11 AM  
phrawgh: RIP Walter Cronkite

Teen sex thread made you think of Walter Cronkite. Yuck.

 
nebjammer 2009-07-18 04:59:03 AM  
Trapper439: Tell them sex makes you go blind. It worked for masturbation.

You sir, are a mean bastard. No offense.

 
phrawgh 2009-07-18 05:02:18 AM  
scalpod: Abstinence
Not %100 effective


You magnificent bastard.

 
piltdown 2009-07-18 05:02:54 AM  
They just need to use more abstinence clowns.

 
adeist69 2009-07-18 05:03:26 AM  
ScottHimself:

Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because I, oh I don't know, WAS A PARENT. Maybe that's the best sex ed you can get in the first place.



Wow, I can't believe you admitted that publicly.


/unless what you meant isn't how I understood it.

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 05:06:11 AM  
Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

I dunno, I've had good luck doing that in the shower.
Although I admit, height can be tricky to deal with, but I'm smooth like that ;)

 
D_Evans45 2009-07-18 05:07:13 AM  
Not that I condone her actions, but ScottHerself has been trolling the shiat out of you guys.

Either put her on ignore, or stop giving her attention.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-07-18 05:16:42 AM  
My prudish Mother and Father in-law's actual response on this matter.

Oh NOES! Knowing about sex is SO BAD! I dunno why, it's just BAD! Y'know what I mean?

GAWD won't let us into his hebben if we teach our kids birth control! My parents didn't teach me either and I turned out all right! Ya know?

It's in th' BAHHH-BULLL! Right there!

Well if they get VD or pregnant it's GAWD's own punishment! We told 'rm not to do it!

Farkin' PRUDES.

 
nebjammer 2009-07-18 05:17:04 AM  
phrawgh, why dont you shake some sand out of your vagina, threadjacker

 
onebadgungan 2009-07-18 05:18:06 AM  
One of my sisters got pregnant at 15, had the baby and told the guy to get lost. Then she had another one at 20 by a different guy and married him. My other sister is pregnant at 21, and her babydaddy is dating someone else. My brother knocked up his girlfriend recently and married her - they aren't sure the baby is his kid. He is 28 and the baby is 2 years old.

They all know better, and, oh yeah, my sisters are Fundamentalists who attend New Life Church with my Mom.

I am considered the sinner, the atheist (which I'm not), and my Mom even called me a traitor because I told her Bush was a POS. And even though I had a couple of close calls when I was younger, I am the only one in the family who got married and THEN had a kid.

Condoms work, people. Safe sex is possible. I'm teaching my daughter about it, and any other kids we have. My Mom gave me the Time-Life Sex Education Library when I became a teenager - it told me all about pubic hair and periods, but there was no information about actual sex, or how to do it safely. I had to learn everything from step-dad's porn stash. And do you really think there was information there on doing it safely?

Teach the kids. Ignorance is what is killing this country.

 
upright_apes_r_us 2009-07-18 05:19:38 AM  
Teens have sex?
Damn it I was lied to.
They killed that part of my sex life, those bastards!

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 05:20:34 AM  
ScottHimself: Uncle Tractor:
You must have forgotten what it's like to be a teenager in a body raging with new hormones. Expecting people to go against the biological imperatives is totally unrealistic. Might as well tell kids not to eat or breathe.

Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because I, oh I don't know, WAS A PARENT. Maybe that's the best sex ed you can get in the first place.


You were a parent? I'm so sorry for your loss. What happened?

:( (Bunch of frowny faces...)

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:20:44 AM  
adeist69: ScottHimself:

Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because I, oh I don't know, WAS A PARENT. Maybe that's the best sex ed you can get in the first place.


Wow, I can't believe you admitted that publicly.


/unless what you meant isn't how I understood it.


I bet a lot of local kids understand the consequences because of him.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:21:07 AM  
Baryogenesis: Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences


That's what milk crates are for.

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 05:22:12 AM  
D_Evans45: Not that I condone her actions, but ScottHerself has been trolling the shiat out of you guys.

Either put her on ignore, or stop giving her attention.


Oh come on, sometimes obvious trolls can be fun.

/You know you like it.
//Some obvious trolls aren't trolls at all - they're serious.

 
ScottHimself 2009-07-18 05:23:48 AM  
None of you get it.

/the abstinence thing
//what else would I mean?

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 05:24:34 AM  
ScottHimself: Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because I, oh I don't know, WAS A PARENT. Maybe that's the best sex ed you can get in the first place.

May I assume you told them about condoms and so on?

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 05:25:11 AM  
ScottHimself: colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant.


And yet, we ARE still animals, subject to whim, emotion, and urge.
Yes, we are capable of reason and forethought, but not a single person on the planet has ever carefully considered and unemotionally made every decision, and the stronger the emotions involved, the less likely people will be to make highly rational decisions.

 
jovensdisciple 2009-07-18 05:25:32 AM  
I order teens to have sex with all the time... I just wish it was cheaper.

 
onebadgungan 2009-07-18 05:26:51 AM  
Gyrfalcon: Baryogenesis: Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences

That's what milk crates are for.


Why? I can still reach my own dick.

/Oh, were you talking about having someone else there?

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 05:29:07 AM  
onebadgungan: Gyrfalcon: Baryogenesis: Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences

That's what milk crates are for.

Why? I can still reach my own dick.

/Oh, were you talking about having someone else there?


Vaginas can help.

 
JohnnyC 2009-07-18 05:29:22 AM  
When my kids are teenagers, I fully expect they will have sex. Why? Because when I was a teenager, I had sex, my friends had sex, everyone except that one weird dude and the really oddball girl had sex (and she probably had sex and nobody admitted it).

The trick is to teach them to have sex safely. :)

 
adeist69 2009-07-18 05:31:34 AM  
ScottHimself: None of you get it.

/the abstinence thing
//what else would I mean?



Oh no, I get it. The "abstinence only" thing is a farking broken record, it doesn't work. We were making progress in this country until conservatives got their panties in a bunch and demanded Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders resign because she offended them by seeing things logically and offered solutions that worked.

 
Pippi Longstalker 2009-07-18 05:32:39 AM  
ScottHimself:Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because I, oh I don't know, WAS A PARENT. Maybe that's the best sex ed you can get in the first place.

Bravo, sir. You are one of few in this country who can claim the mantle of taking responsibility for your kids.

Now, if only it were possible for everyone elses' children to have the same opportunity to get educated on, as you said, "the consequences of premarital sex" in a structured, educational-oriented environment. Say, like those pre-college institutions they have for the general populace, the ones paid for by taxpayer money. Oh yeah! Public Schools!

It would be FANTASTIC if children reaching puberty could have the opportunity to learn consequences of premarital sex, hell, let's just admit that the consequences of premarital and postmarital sex are generally the same, and just let them be taught as the consequences of having sex, in a complete manner.

Why not include a little biology in the mix, let the kids know what sort of weird shiat is happening to their bodies during this time.

We might be able to give a generalized name for it, too! "Education for your advancement into sexual maturity"

Too long?

"Education for sex"?

No, something doesn't feel right about that.

"Sex Ed"! That'll work!

Now, to finish out the course, why don't we teach some effective ways for these developing young people, who by the way are in no way psychologically prepared to be the progenitor of a new life due to our society's insistence on prolonging the coddling infant stage of mental and social development, how to keep themselves from causing an unwanted pregnancy, like contraception.

What?

You just want them to not have sex? You want to tell them that they shouldn't want to have sex? Not until after they're married?

Then... why teach them any of this at all?

NO! I WASN'T SUGGESTING WE NOT TEACH THEM ANYTHING! ARE YOU CRAZY?!?

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:38:11 AM  
onebadgungan: Gyrfalcon: Baryogenesis: Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences

That's what milk crates are for.

Why? I can still reach my own dick.

/Oh, were you talking about having someone else there?


Well, if you want to play solo flute, that's on you, babe. But you'll grow hair on your palms.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:39:57 AM  
JohnnyC: When my kids are teenagers, I fully expect they will have sex. Why? Because when I was a teenager, I had sex, my friends had sex, everyone except that one weird dude and the really oddball girl had sex (and she probably had sex and nobody admitted it).

The trick is to teach them to have sex safely. :)


Damn right. No dynamite.

 
JohnnyC 2009-07-18 05:41:21 AM  
Also, I will add that without premarital sex, none of us would be here... Sex has been around a LOT longer than marriage. So without premarital sex, we couldn't even have this discussion.

 
RemyDuron 2009-07-18 05:42:19 AM  
grimeystubs: Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

IIRC, during the 8 years Clinton the teenage pregnancy rate dropped consistently. During he Bush years it went up.

 
Mad-n-FL 2009-07-18 05:44:45 AM  
Uncle Tractor: texastag: //Palin will lose in the '12 primary

Never underestimate the power of stupid.


I think it was Einstein who said:
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

 
fanbladesaresharp 2009-07-18 05:47:11 AM  
scalpod: Abstinence
Not %100 effective


And you couldn't paint it if you tried.

 
paloma [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:47:42 AM  
ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.

 
lwwhite 2009-07-18 05:50:16 AM  
funny,this was the next story in my RSS...

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:52:20 AM  
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.


Yeah, but that rose stem will be able to fit in places that a full rose couldn't even dream of.

 
at80eighty [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:55:43 AM  
ScottHimself: Sorry, but my kids understand the consequences of premarital sex because

they were your bitter lesson learned to begin with?

 
phrawgh 2009-07-18 05:56:20 AM  
nebjammer: phrawgh, why dont you shake some sand out of your vagina, threadjacker

;)

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 05:56:51 AM  
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...

THAT
is a fantastic health teacher????
Someone who tells you that having sex will spoil you and turn you into a worthless, ruined thing that nobody wants?
I hope you were being sarcastic...

 
Aboleth 2009-07-18 05:57:21 AM  
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.


I don't know about the rose, but I'm pretty sure Jane's happy with the orgasms and all.

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 05:57:43 AM  
I don't think this has anything to do with education one way or the other...especially since there's ages up to 24 in the mix here.

It's economics. These are the first people who lose their jobs any time the economy goes south. Now they have more free time on their hands.

And this...

About one-third of adolescents hadn't received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18.

...is a polite way of saying they immigrated from a country where sex education (even abstinence-only) isn't in the curriculum at all, or is still very new and widely opposed. Take India, for example.

 
paloma [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 06:00:50 AM  
Gawdzila:
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...

THAT is a fantastic health teacher????
Someone who tells you that having sex will spoil you and turn you into a worthless, ruined thing that nobody wants?
I hope you were being sarcastic...


very sarcastic. though i was only semi-joking when i said it was traumatic. we were only 15-16 year old snowflakes after all, and the message of the story seemed to be, "if you have sex your vagina will fall off."

 
adeist69 2009-07-18 06:02:51 AM  
Gulper Eel:

And this...

About one-third of adolescents hadn't received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18.

...is a polite way of saying they immigrated from a country where sex education (even abstinence-only) isn't in the curriculum at all, or is still very new and widely opposed. Take India, for example.



Aw hell, why go that far when Mexico is right across the border?

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 06:08:34 AM  
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.


This was a college class? WTF?
I don't think 'teacher' is the correct word. Are making this shiat up? Email forwarded to you from grand-ma?

 
at80eighty [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 06:09:12 AM  
Gulper Eel: About one-third of adolescents hadn't received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18.

...is a polite way of saying they immigrated from a country where sex education (even abstinence-only) isn't in the curriculum at all, or is still very new and widely opposed. Take India, for example.


so you're saying an entire third of your country's youth are new immigrants from such countries?

 
adeist69 2009-07-18 06:09:39 AM  
paloma:

very sarcastic. though i was only semi-joking when i said it was traumatic. we were only 15-16 year old snowflakes after all, and the message of the story seemed to be, "if you have sex your vagina will fall off."




How YOU doin?...

 
gas giant 2009-07-18 06:09:50 AM  
So 1/3 of American youth under the age of 18 were born in other countries?


...WUT?!

 
paloma [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 06:12:45 AM  
actually, it was high school, in the states, about five years ago.

 
PickinWhiskers 2009-07-18 06:18:36 AM  
paloma: actually, it was high school, in the states, about five years ago.

I was referring to 'Jane':
"then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with "

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 06:20:33 AM  
paloma: the message of the story seemed to be, "if you have sex your vagina will fall off."

That just gave me a horrifying and yet strangely hilarious picture in my head.

 
Nickers 2009-07-18 06:26:21 AM  
Gulper Eel:
And this...

"About one-third of adolescents hadn't received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18."

...is a polite way of saying they immigrated from a country where sex education (even abstinence-only) isn't in the curriculum at all, or is still very new and widely opposed. Take India, for example.



No, that stat applies very much to teens WITHIN THE US. I have spoken to many, many American teens who have hit puberty (or are about to) and they don't know what a period is, don't know about masturbation ("Will I go to hell? Will hair grow on my palms? Will I hurt myself? Is it bad?"), who don't know where to get condoms or how to use them, who know buttfark all about birth control, and so on. It's really sad and it is so frustrating to see, as someone who lives in Canada, actually received sex ed in high school, and made a point of learning it all myself growing up.

Abstinence-only programs are failing this generation of kids and students, because they aren't being given the information they need to make better choices, and there's not enough intervention with at-risk teens to prevent them from getting pregnant in the first place.

I'm starting to write my social work class paper on teen pregnancy, and from what I'm reading in this one somewhat recent book, a lot of teens (especially those who are either at-risk or from a minority, or both) do it on purpose. Often their culture/lifestyle/demographic tells them it's what "makes them a man/woman", gives them the attention they crave, or they see it as doing something with their lives because they're too poor/dumb to do well in school and go somewhere in life and so they might as well have kids because they think they're not going to do much else in life with themselves anyways.

 
jbernie 2009-07-18 07:10:52 AM  
Telling kids to not have sex is like putting a group of people in a room and telling them to not press the nice red flashing button on the wall. Sooner or later someone will press it, they just will.

Are schools going to teach masturbation instead instead of sex? That right there might work better, nothing like having some very unappealing teacher telling you about pleasure to turn you off a bit.... then again... given teenagers and raging hormones... and some of the highgrade classy teachers they are willing to have sex with... they are going to hit pretty much anything.

No sex at all is the best way to avoid pregnancy, but you absolutely need to tell them about options if they are going to have sex, 100% abstinance isn't achievable, teach alternates such as using a condom to help reduce accidental pregnancies in those kids who do chose to have sex.

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-07-18 07:19:06 AM  
I'm convinced that even the politicians who champion abstinence education don't actually believe it to be anything but a waste of time and earmarks. It's just another inflammatory issue that, given enough platitudes and town hall rallies, helps keep that support from the idiots rolling in.

Sounds improbable? Pfft. Since when have the ambitious not done what they felt was necessary to be competitive? Because I gotta be honest here...that's a lot more believable than the idea that there are highly educated people out there who actually believe this abstinence shiat, let alone rallying for the government to waste money on it.

 
Mouser 2009-07-18 07:52:55 AM  
vertiaset
Kids will be kids.

That's the problem, not the solution.

 
scwewywabbit 2009-07-18 07:55:46 AM  
Mouser: vertiaset
Kids will be kids.

That's the problem, not the solution.


maybe if we cuff them to the basement?

 
beoswulf 2009-07-18 07:57:13 AM  
Hispanic teens aged 15 to 19 are much more likely to become pregnant (132.8 births per 1,000 females) than non-Hispanic blacks (128 per 1,000) and non-Hispanic whites (45.2 per 1,000). The study also found that non-Hispanic black youth in all age groups have the highest rates of new HIV and AIDS diagnoses.

Once again facts prove to be horribly racist.

 
aearra 2009-07-18 08:02:22 AM  
so how do those stats compare with the races in the rest of the first world where sex education vs abstinence only is taught?

 
Clarkke25 2009-07-18 08:03:43 AM  
So what? They can haz them sexes...It's not like they'll get preggis. Besides, babyies come from the hospital, not people. Sheesh! Everybody knows that!

 
Clarkke25 2009-07-18 08:04:36 AM  
Clarkke25: So what? They can haz them sexes...It's not like they'll get preggis. Besides, babyies come from the hospital, not people. Sheesh! Everybody knows that!

Ah kin spel

 
ihatedumbpeople 2009-07-18 08:05:51 AM  
texastag: Not these people...



They know different now.

/That little one is trying to steal my soul through the internet
//Palin will lose in the '12 primary
///You heard it here last
////Vasectomy for me, condoms for the teens


I think it's really sad she'll even run and have a chance. She's no more qualified than half the Farkers in this thread.

 
lukelightning 2009-07-18 08:11:44 AM  
Epsilon: When will the fundies figure out that a lack of education doesn't work?

Never. They have a very poor record when it comes to accepting evidence that doesn't fit their worldview. They'll just twist this to suit themselves: "It's not basic human biology that is making kids have sex... it's our depraved secular society! If we had real Christian laws in place and none of these damn atheists and non-Christians then we'd have a utopia full of celibate teens!"

 
Mouser 2009-07-18 08:16:49 AM  
Gawdzila: ScottHimself: colatf:

The simple rule goes against the most basic animal instinct, so it's not going to be very effective.

That's why we're capable of abstinence in the first place! We are not animals! We think, we reason, we consider ideas and are skeptically vigilant.

And yet, we ARE still animals, subject to whim, emotion, and urge.
Yes, we are capable of reason and forethought, but not a single person on the planet has ever carefully considered and unemotionally made every decision, and the stronger the emotions involved, the less likely people will be to make highly rational decisions.


Yes, everyone knows that brown people can't control their impulses. That's why we had to enslave them, you know; it was for their own good.

 
SapperInTexas 2009-07-18 08:21:05 AM  
Trapper439: Tell them sex makes you go blind. It worked for masturbation.

FAPFAPFAPFapfapsquintsquintfap

 
hockeychick 2009-07-18 08:24:04 AM  
Ah, abstinence only ed. It works soooo well.

At my high school (many, many moons ago) we got a healthy dose of abstinence only ed. Our sex ed speech was basically a 15 minute speech that was this:

"Don't have sex. Don't until you're married. And then don't unless you want kids. Because anything outside of that purpose is evil and god will be angry. If you do it for pleasure your wang will turn black and fall off and you'll get some horrible disease and die. You will get pregnant the first time you have sex. Condoms always fail and you will get an STD and pregnant if you use one. So, in conclusion God will be angry if you have sex outside of marriage or for pleasure. So don't and god will look well on you and you'll have lots of kids."

Yeah, out of my graduating class of 36, at least 12 had kids, were pregnant at graduation, or were working on number 2.

 
SapperInTexas 2009-07-18 08:28:09 AM  
Aboleth: paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.

I don't know about the rose, but I'm pretty sure Jane's happy with the orgasms and all.


He should have used a Roast Beef Sandwich instead of a rose - much more graphic metaphor.

/meat curtains

 
Bobucles 2009-07-18 08:37:14 AM  
Abstinence education doesn't work, because it involves interacting with the opposite gender for the express purpose of not having sex. Yeah, good luck with that.

Training kids to play World of Warcraft 24/7, however, is 100% effective at preventing teen pregnancy.

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 08:43:05 AM  
hockeychick: "Don't have sex. Don't until you're married. And then don't unless you want kids. Because anything outside of that purpose is evil and god will be angry. If you do it for pleasure your wang will turn black and fall off and you'll get some horrible disease and die. You will get pregnant the first time you have sex. Condoms always fail and you will get an STD and pregnant if you use one. So, in conclusion God will be angry if you have sex outside of marriage or for pleasure. So don't and god will look well on you and you'll have lots of kids."

i560.photobucket.com

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 08:46:30 AM  
at80eighty: so you're saying an entire third of your country's youth are new immigrants from such countries?

No. Many of them are high school dropouts. Either way, they're not getting ANY sex education, not even abstinence-only.

Nickers: No, that stat applies very much to teens WITHIN THE US.

You seem to have missed the word "immigrated" and the upper age limit of 24 in TFA. If they got here when they were 18 or older, chances are they missed our school systems altogether.

 
FunkOut [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 08:53:45 AM  
Gawdzila: paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...

THAT is a fantastic health teacher????
Someone who tells you that having sex will spoil you and turn you into a worthless, ruined thing that nobody wants?
I hope you were being sarcastic...


Maybe the teacher was trying to say if you're a girl and sleep around, the guys will think you're good enough for a fun time but not good enough to be the nice girl they will want to marry to impress the folks and breed some offspring with. The "disposable sluts" versus the "fresh unused good wife material" situation.

 
AliasUndercover 2009-07-18 08:58:17 AM  
Faith based birth control. "Oh, God, don't let her get pregnant!"

 
SapperInTexas 2009-07-18 09:05:34 AM  
AliasUndercover: Faith based birth control. "Oh, God, don't let her get pregnant!"

A.K.A. "Pull and Pray"

 
aselene 2009-07-18 09:12:08 AM  
They need to try abstinence ONLY education. At my school they taught us the truth: that condoms do not prevent pregnancy or STIs. So why bother?

"At the least, the chances of getting pregnant with a condom are 1 out of 6."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 257

"Couples who use condoms for birth control experience a first-year failure rate of about 15 % in preventing pregnancies. This means that over a period of five years, there could be a 50% chance or higher of getting pregnant with condoms used as the birth control method."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"Condoms provide no proven reduction in protection against Chlamydia, the most common bacterial STD."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"The first player spins the cylinder, points the gun to his/her head, and pulls the trigger. He/she has only one in six chances of being killed. But if one continues to perform this act, the chamber with the bullet will ultimately fall into position under the hammer, and the game ends as one of the players dies. Relying on condoms is like playing Russian roulette."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 258

 
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier 2009-07-18 09:14:56 AM  
Trapper439: Tell them sex makes you go blind. It worked for masturbation.

We're over here dude.

 
Menjo_Bleeko 2009-07-18 09:23:49 AM  
aselene : whaargarrbl

Wow. That's some weapons-grade stupid right there. 8/10.

 
Tartha De Tear [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 09:26:11 AM  
These threads are great. I run through, add trolls and single issue morons to my ignore list, and my experience on Fark improves significantly.

/I'm not here to convert or listen to you attempt such
//Idiots get the consideration they deserve

 
Mongo cut wood 2009-07-18 09:37:18 AM  
If it weren't for satheists and gays, we would not have STDs or AIDS.

Yeah that Sex education where you teach kids how to be immoral sluts really does work.

 
MightySlam 2009-07-18 09:37:44 AM  
aselene: They need to try abstinence ONLY education. At my school they taught us the truth: that condoms do not prevent pregnancy or STIs. So why bother?

"At the least, the chances of getting pregnant with a condom are 1 out of 6."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 257

"Couples who use condoms for birth control experience a first-year failure rate of about 15 % in preventing pregnancies. This means that over a period of five years, there could be a 50% chance or higher of getting pregnant with condoms used as the birth control method."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"Condoms provide no proven reduction in protection against Chlamydia, the most common bacterial STD."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"The first player spins the cylinder, points the gun to his/her head, and pulls the trigger. He/she has only one in six chances of being killed. But if one continues to perform this act, the chamber with the bullet will ultimately fall into position under the hammer, and the game ends as one of the players dies. Relying on condoms is like playing Russian roulette."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 258


wat

Sorry, my troll meter seems to be on the fritz.

/still early

 
IonBeam2 2009-07-18 09:38:15 AM  
Spaying them might work.

 
aselene 2009-07-18 09:42:45 AM  
MightySlam: aselene: They need to try abstinence ONLY education. At my school they taught us the truth: that condoms do not prevent pregnancy or STIs. So why bother?

"At the least, the chances of getting pregnant with a condom are 1 out of 6."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 257

"Couples who use condoms for birth control experience a first-year failure rate of about 15 % in preventing pregnancies. This means that over a period of five years, there could be a 50% chance or higher of getting pregnant with condoms used as the birth control method."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"Condoms provide no proven reduction in protection against Chlamydia, the most common bacterial STD."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"The first player spins the cylinder, points the gun to his/her head, and pulls the trigger. He/she has only one in six chances of being killed. But if one continues to perform this act, the chamber with the bullet will ultimately fall into position under the hammer, and the game ends as one of the players dies. Relying on condoms is like playing Russian roulette."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 258

wat

Sorry, my troll meter seems to be on the fritz.

/still early


All of the quotes are from popular, federally funded abstinence only sex education programs. They teach that condoms are ineffective to prevent against pregnancy and STIs. It's important to get this kind of information out to teens as they make the choice about whether or not to be sexually active. If they DO decide to engage in sexual intercourse, there's no point in using condoms, because they're ineffective anyway. Which drives home the importance of the abstinence-only message.

 
aselene 2009-07-18 09:49:05 AM  
hockeychick: Ah, abstinence only ed. It works soooo well.

At my high school (many, many moons ago) we got a healthy dose of abstinence only ed. Our sex ed speech was basically a 15 minute speech that was this:

"Don't have sex. Don't until you're married. And then don't unless you want kids. Because anything outside of that purpose is evil and god will be angry. If you do it for pleasure your wang will turn black and fall off and you'll get some horrible disease and die. You will get pregnant the first time you have sex. Condoms always fail and you will get an STD and pregnant if you use one. So, in conclusion God will be angry if you have sex outside of marriage or for pleasure. So don't and god will look well on you and you'll have lots of kids."

Yeah, out of my graduating class of 36, at least 12 had kids, were pregnant at graduation, or were working on number 2.


If they had made better CHOICES they wouldn't get pregnant.

Personal responsibility: it's what's for dinner.

 
comslave 2009-07-18 09:51:02 AM  
So THAT's what I've been doing wrong. Let's see how reverse psychology works...

 
More_Like_A_Stain 2009-07-18 09:51:58 AM  
colatf: Damn right. No dynamite.

Seems kind of pointless without it.

 
pvd021 2009-07-18 09:57:02 AM  
Ironic since I hear it works really well for men who are ordered by their wives.

 
More_Like_A_Stain 2009-07-18 10:00:17 AM  
FunkOut: The "disposable sluts" versus the "fresh unused good wife material" situation.

This assumes that a vagina is like a car. Higher mileage leads to imminent failure. Fortunately, since you are only able to rack up those miles three inches at a time, you will be able to take a lot more trips than most. The two minute duration will also contribute.

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 10:07:36 AM  
aselene: They need to try abstinence ONLY education. At my school they taught us the truth: that condoms do not prevent pregnancy or STIs. So why bother?

Because 98% protection is far better than the 0% protection you get when practicing "abstinence."

"At the least, the chances of getting pregnant with a condom are 1 out of 6."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 257


Either the author knits his own condoms, or he's outright lying.

"Couples who use condoms for birth control experience a first-year failure rate of about 15 % in preventing pregnancies. This means that over a period of five years, there could be a 50% chance or higher of getting pregnant with condoms used as the birth control method."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18

"Condoms provide no proven reduction in protection against Chlamydia, the most common bacterial STD."
Choosing the Best PATH, Leader Guide, pg. 18


Do you actually believe this drivel? I can't tell whether you're trolling or not. It's not true just because it's in a book, you know.

"The first player spins the cylinder, points the gun to his/her head, and pulls the trigger. He/she has only one in six chances of being killed. But if one continues to perform this act, the chamber with the bullet will ultimately fall into position under the hammer, and the game ends as one of the players dies. Relying on condoms is like playing Russian roulette."
Me, My World, My Future, Revised HIV material, p. 258


Reefer madness. (new window)

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-18 10:08:00 AM  
colatf: Not that many people at all have sex flat out anymore. It's a kinky age we live in, my friends.

Though I once knew I guy who masturbated flat out for three days and he could sizzle butter on the thing for a week.


Why did he quit so soon?

 
Stealthy Ninja Polar Bear 2009-07-18 10:13:50 AM  
I have 2 boys, ages 3 and 5. godwilling, I won't have to worry about this for at least 10 years. However, I fully plan on making sure my kids know that while sex isn't evil it sure as hell can fark up a lot of other things if they fail to take percausions.

/will probably make husband give speach
//haha

 
rathoth 2009-07-18 10:19:17 AM  
Epsilon: When will the fundies figure out that a lack of education doesn't work? If I'm a horny 15 year old boy and some slutty vixen is willing to spread her gams and invite me in for a dip, I'm not gonna say no.

If I'm educated about sex I will know how to prevent STD/pregnancy. If my parents have chosen to leave me ignorant of such methods, it's probable to ruin many people (the mother, father, baby, both sets of grandparents).

I can't believe some people willingly keep their kids ignorant of sexual protection.


Lack of education is used as a means of control. Has always been. It's about power. Sex ed? Abortion laws? Death penalty? Religious indoctrination? The underlying conservative thread that connects them is absolute power. The stance on a particular issue is merely a symptom of the lust and greed for power.

 
Miss Smartass 2009-07-18 10:22:59 AM  
It might just be me not liking anyone my age, but anyone who gets pregnant at this age is a total idiot.

 
biglot 2009-07-18 10:37:42 AM  
Why DOES the god churn out such horny ten-year old's anyways?

 
Musto 2009-07-18 10:45:57 AM  
My wife insisted our daughter go on birth control at (to me) was a very young age. When I asked why our "little girl" needed birth control, she gently pulled me aside and reminded me that our first time was at her age. Doh!

 
Mongo cut wood 2009-07-18 10:48:54 AM  
Considering that the number of teens getting pregnant has been rising, telling teens to use condoms does not work.

 
Miss Smartass 2009-07-18 10:50:51 AM  
Musto: My wife insisted our daughter go on birth control at (to me) was a very young age. When I asked why our "little girl" needed birth control, she gently pulled me aside and reminded me that our first time was at her age. Doh!

How old is your daughter?

 
lstywnch 2009-07-18 10:53:44 AM  
bhcompy: Ordering teens not to do isn't the problem. Not fully educating them is. I'm going to tell my son the same thing when he's of age. Something like, "Don't stick yourself anywhere until you're old enough to handle the consequences. If you do, protect yourself, but I'll kick your ass out when you hit 18."

I talk to my teenaged son about this pretty often. Basically, "I really would prefer you wait until you are an adult because there is the risk of disease, pregnancy or heavy emotional attachment, but if you find it impossible to wait that long PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEAR A CONDOM EVERY TIME!" I also told him that he's responsible for his part in it and don't trust a girl if she says, "I'm on the pill," because the pill doesn't keep you from getting herpes or the clap. Better safe than sorry.

 
Kumana Wanalaia [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 10:58:32 AM  
Oh noes, the magic sky ghost will gets teh angery!

Puh-lease. Some of us aren't five anymore.

 
Musto 2009-07-18 10:59:41 AM  
Miss Smartass: Musto: My wife insisted our daughter go on birth control at (to me) was a very young age. When I asked why our "little girl" needed birth control, she gently pulled me aside and reminded me that our first time was at her age. Doh!

How old is your daughter?


She was thirteen going on fourteen at the time. She is in college now.

My wife and I were like rabbits the summer before high school.

Damn, now I feel old.

 
Miss Smartass 2009-07-18 11:01:52 AM  
Musto: My wife and I were like rabbits the summer before high school.

Good to know?
/shudder

 
tedbundee 2009-07-18 11:06:59 AM  
ScottHimself: Abstinence works.

Failure to abide by the simplest rule possible is not an excuse to scrap the only decent sex ed. these kids get.


Virgin troll is a virgin

 
Ghengis_Socrates 2009-07-18 11:12:32 AM  
I am way out of touch, but I think it is safe to assume this "abstinence only 'education'" does not mention masturbation. To the proponents of said 'education' (if any,) and trolls, I ask "why is this not an option?" The rest of you can keep wanking.

 
Ringshadow 2009-07-18 11:13:06 AM  
ScottHimself: None of you get it.

/the abstinence thing
//what else would I mean?


Your kids are going to have sex. 90% chance or greater. All you're doing is making them feel ashamed about it, I wager. Birth control works. Condoms work. I hope to (insert your higher being) someone tells your kids about them if you don't.

/reality
//visit it sometimes

 
Mouser 2009-07-18 11:13:53 AM  
Musto: Miss Smartass: Musto: My wife insisted our daughter go on birth control at (to me) was a very young age. When I asked why our "little girl" needed birth control, she gently pulled me aside and reminded me that our first time was at her age. Doh!

How old is your daughter?

She was thirteen going on fourteen at the time. She is in college now.

My wife and I were like rabbits the summer before high school.

Damn, now I feel old.


Your daughter doesn't need condoms. She needs Chris Hansen's phone number.

 
imfallen_angel 2009-07-18 11:15:25 AM  
Kumana Wanalaia: Oh noes, the magic sky ghost will gets teh angery!

Puh-lease. Some of us aren't five anymore.


Funny...

1) has to insult someone else's beliefs, check
2) has to make "funny" spelling mistakes, check

hmmm... yup, you're still five. if not in body, at least in maturity, possibly IQ and/or intelligence too.

 
hockeychick 2009-07-18 11:18:58 AM  
aselene:
If they had made better CHOICES they wouldn't get pregnant.

Personal responsibility: it's what's for dinner.


Or, if they had been informed and given accurate information they wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. If they had been given facts instead of preaching they may have made better choices. Keeping these kids in the dark did nothing but doom them to a life of early parenthood and lost dreams.

 
Need Help Soonish 2009-07-18 11:23:13 AM  
Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

Lies!

 
Uncontrolled_Jibe 2009-07-18 11:23:14 AM  
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.


I hope you didn't fall for this load of FAIL, cause that was so wrong in so many ways.

 
Captain Ahab and the white whale 2009-07-18 11:26:52 AM  
Just must say, it continuously saddens me that there are still those who are so certain of their baser instincts power over them, due to their own inability to overcome them, that they immediately say it cannot be done, no one has done it, and no one will. In effect, they make the argument that we are just human, and therefor can never be more than animals.

Lets think about this logically: if this is so, no crime can be punished, as we must just admit the ones who committed the crime did so as a biological imperative, they had no choice. Obviously, their base biology overcame them, and they did what "millions of years of evolution made them do." This is especially true of rape, as, after all, all those years were simply for the purpose of creating a self-perpetuating species, and we need to pass on our genes, right?

This is total and utter bull $&!#, only spewed out because there are those people who wish to not be held accountable for their own actions and total lack of self control. All this does is show that we as a society are devolving into our worst parts, not actually going forward.

As long as we are able to provide excuses for our actions, and find ways to displace blame or to escape personal responsibility, we will not be able to grow into functional adults, merely old children who will perpetuate our childishness in the next generation.

Hormones are NO EXCUSE for bad behavior. Grow up, be men and women, not puerile deviants.

 
hockeychick 2009-07-18 11:27:57 AM  
Captain Ahab and the white whale: Just must say, it continuously saddens me that there are still those who are so certain of their baser instincts power over them, due to their own inability to overcome them, that they immediately say it cannot be done, no one has done it, and no one will. In effect, they make the argument that we are just human, and therefor can never be more than animals.

Lets think about this logically: if this is so, no crime can be punished, as we must just admit the ones who committed the crime did so as a biological imperative, they had no choice. Obviously, their base biology overcame them, and they did what "millions of years of evolution made them do." This is especially true of rape, as, after all, all those years were simply for the purpose of creating a self-perpetuating species, and we need to pass on our genes, right?

This is total and utter bull $&!#, only spewed out because there are those people who wish to not be held accountable for their own actions and total lack of self control. All this does is show that we as a society are devolving into our worst parts, not actually going forward.

As long as we are able to provide excuses for our actions, and find ways to displace blame or to escape personal responsibility, we will not be able to grow into functional adults, merely old children who will perpetuate our childishness in the next generation.

Hormones are NO EXCUSE for bad behavior. Grow up, be men and women, not puerile deviants.


Fail. 0/10

 
Ghengis_Socrates 2009-07-18 11:35:39 AM  
Captain Ahab and the white whale: Hormones are NO EXCUSE for bad behavior.

Yes they are. They (hormones) result in survival of the species.

 
Barbecue Bob 2009-07-18 11:59:04 AM  
Failure to understand humans basic need for sex is the #1 reason church dorks will forever sound like retards.

How do you think we all got here, ya fairy tale believin asshats?

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 12:00:15 PM  
Barbecue Bob: Failure to understand humans basic need for sex is the #1 reason church dorks will forever sound like retards.

How do you think we all got here, ya fairy tale believin asshats?


Storks.

 
Uncontrolled_Jibe 2009-07-18 12:03:50 PM  
imfallen_angel: Kumana Wanalaia: Oh noes, the magic sky ghost will gets teh angery!

Puh-lease. Some of us aren't five anymore.

Funny...

1) has to insult someone else's beliefs, check
2) has to make "funny" spelling mistakes, check

hmmm... yup, you're still five. if not in body, at least in maturity, possibly IQ and/or intelligence too.


I'm sure that as a mature person you're not implying that it is wrong to insult someone's belief system and yet right for that belief system and its rules to be imposed on someone?

 
ZeroCorpse [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-18 12:05:55 PM  
Parenthood is a form of mental illness.

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-07-18 12:07:09 PM  
imfallen_angel: mmm... yup, you're still five. if not in body, at least in maturity, possibly IQ and/or intelligence too.

What shall we say about adults who do what their imaginary friends tell them to do?

/juuus' askin'

 
Commissar_Murphy 2009-07-18 12:20:24 PM  
There are so many things wrong with abstinence only education ...

First is the fact that many programs teach you SQUAT about sex/your body. Some neglect to tell women that they can have orgasms. Some tell women that semen can travel up their leg. Some tell people that sperm can divide and reproduce like it's an E. coli culture. The real fun is when you are in college, and you watch all these good little boys and girls who didn't have sex in high school, and listen to the stupid shiat that comes out of their mouths when they start having sex.

Her: "Why does it hurt when I have sex?"
Me: "You need to get wet first"
Her: "What? That's gross!"
OR

Him: "The AIDS virus can slip through the holes in latex condoms"
Me: "I would like to see a citation on that"
Him: "I heard it somewhere"

My sex ed/abstinence telethon I sat through in high school explained NONE of the biology to us. The closest thing we got was the pictures of diseased body parts. We had the abstinence coach come in and explain to us that condoms are only 83% effective, that certain STIs cannot be prevented by wearing a condom, blah blah. It is funny though because they didn't explain to us anything except failure rates and the fact that who you had sex with your first time was going to be "imprinted" on your mind. Things that will be revealed as bullshiat once you start having sex.

Then there is the sexual repression: can't let you masturbate, can't let you have oral sex, no dry humping etc. The whole point here is the abstinence crowd will lie, distort the truth or completely ignore these options by saying they can get you pregnant, give you a disease, act as a "gateway activity", or my favorite (what they say masturbation will do to you) make you emotionally unable to interact with your future spouse or some crap.

In short, I have no beef with abstinence being part of the sex ed curriculum, hell planned parenthood teaches it as an option (new window). My problem simply is that when you have to lie, distort the truth or leave out information, like what normal sexual functions are, or even how sex and conception work, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. I think one of the saddest days of my life is when I realized that my medical school had to spend three weeks, THREE WEEKS teaching us the biology of the sexual act, the diversity of people's sexual experiences etc. Worse than that is how many people were getting the info for the first time. Any program that teaches that much ignorance is doing it wrong, and I cannot agree with it.

 
bahr [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-18 12:22:40 PM  
lstywnch: bhcompy: Ordering teens not to do isn't the problem. Not fully educating them is. I'm going to tell my son the same thing when he's of age. Something like, "Don't stick yourself anywhere until you're old enough to handle the consequences. If you do, protect yourself, but I'll kick your ass out when you hit 18."

I talk to my teenaged son about this pretty often. Basically, "I really would prefer you wait until you are an adult because there is the risk of disease, pregnancy or heavy emotional attachment, but if you find it impossible to wait that long PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEAR A CONDOM EVERY TIME!" I also told him that he's responsible for his part in it and don't trust a girl if she says, "I'm on the pill," because the pill doesn't keep you from getting herpes or the clap. Better safe than sorry.


This. Since I was a "player," naturally I was blessed with nothing but daughters. I'll flat out tell them hey, don't get diseases and don't get pregnant. Guys will lie about everything, they will lie that they are clean if they are ganked up with some crotch rot, they will lie about pulling out, and they will make stuff up like you can't get pregnant the first time, or doing it outside, or whatever. Don't believe a word of it. You're going to want to have sex, so enjoy it, but you're going on the pill, force them to wear a rubber or it's go-home, and they need to be pulling out even with it wrapped. And if they're a guy who is known at school to have done it before, it's best to stay away. The smart guys are the ones who do it without word getting around, and in case of epic fail, you want to be stuck with a smart guy who could actually complete college.

 
atlas spanked 2009-07-18 12:35:43 PM  
paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.


= Clearly, your teacher was Mormon. Their 'religious authorities' use that analogy endlessly.

 
Slartibartfaster [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 12:39:33 PM  
Commissar_Murphy: the abstinence crowd will lie, distort the truth

wow.... its almost like they were lied to, got distorted truth, then had "faith" and wish to infect other people with the distortions

... its ok to lie, for God !! (Jesus was totally into moral relativism, and moses was down with false witnesses)

 
Slartibartfaster [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 12:40:49 PM  
paloma: "now who wants this?" my teacher

oooo ooo I do I do !!!

// hates those stinky petals, I prefer my rose ready to go :-)

 
whatabrotherknow 2009-07-18 12:48:46 PM  
Options and education always beat fear and ignorance. Yes, abstinence is an option but not the only one. When you are a 17 year old boy with a raging hard on and a willing girl, it's best to have a condom around, not a pamphlet.

 
Alleyoop 2009-07-18 12:49:28 PM  
Horny little buggers.

Stop. Stop! I said STOP!

docs.google.com

 
whitman00 2009-07-18 12:51:21 PM  
And the Gods of Fark said let there be a light and let it be green. And there was much rejoicing in subby's hometown.

And they said I'd never make anything of myself.

 
Sultan Of Herf 2009-07-18 12:54:01 PM  
A thread on teenage sex and not one Quagmire giggity pic posted?

/Slacking these Farkers are...

 
onebadgungan 2009-07-18 12:59:52 PM  
Gyrfalcon: onebadgungan: Gyrfalcon: Baryogenesis: Chariset: Don't have it standing up, either. That isn't as much fun as you'd think

You're doing it wrong

/watch out for extreme height differences

That's what milk crates are for.

Why? I can still reach my own dick.

/Oh, were you talking about having someone else there?

Well, if you want to play solo flute, that's on you, babe. But you'll grow hair on your palms.


I'm married with a kid - is there any other flute to play?

 
onebadgungan 2009-07-18 01:04:29 PM  
RemyDuron: grimeystubs: Big surprise. A bunch of democrats are elected and reports start coming out that the kids have become sluts.

IIRC, during the 8 years Clinton the teenage pregnancy rate dropped consistently. During he Bush years it went up.


During Republican rule, teen pregnancy and abortions go up. During the Dems, both go down.

/irony? Is that it?

 
Partisan 2009-07-18 01:06:01 PM  
Hint: Those who preach abstinence don't give a rats ass about STDs or teen pregnancy.

 
Where the hell was Biggles 2009-07-18 01:17:05 PM  
Ok, I've posted this before, but it's still relevant.

Abstinance-only education is a stupid idea, even if your religion says that you should save sex for marriage. Why? Because kids eventually grow up and get married, and having some information about those kinds of things can be useful in that situation.

Why the hell doesn't anyone ever address that?

 
bhcompy 2009-07-18 01:29:30 PM  
cuzsis:
Yes, having children during your prime reproductive years is such a bad thing. Your body handles it so much better and so does your mind (being able to function on almost no sleep at that age anyway.) How terrible!

Or do you mean that it's terrible that our economy is completely FUBAR'd and ADULTS can't get jobs to support themselves or families? (Noticed that all your examples were over 18...)

/mother at 21
//no problems except a shiatty economy, and that doesn't disappear just because you're 35.
///not meaning to mock you at all, if you don't want to have children that early that's totally fine, it's a personal choice after all. But I would argue there's nothing inherently wrong about wanting to have kids at that particular age.


I mean that I want my son to experience life you absolutely can't as a parent. I want him to complete his Bachelors or Masters without the specter of parenthood over his head. I want him to travel the world if he feels like it. I want him to have a decent job before he has a child. It has nothing to do with the economy or the body or anything, and personally, I would have rather had my child after 25 and before 30. You're young enough to experience things with your kid that you wouldn't if you're 35 and you're old enough to have completed school without issue and do things with your life that you couldn't with a family.

 
lstywnch 2009-07-18 02:54:58 PM  
bahr: This. Since I was a "player," naturally I was blessed with nothing but daughters. I'll flat out tell them hey, don't get diseases and don't get pregnant. Guys will lie about everything, they will lie that they are clean if they are ganked up with some crotch rot, they will lie about pulling out, and they will make stuff up like you can't get pregnant the first time, or doing it outside, or whatever. Don't believe a word of it. You're going to want to have sex, so enjoy it, but you're going on the pill, force them to wear a rubber or it's go-home, and they need to be pulling out even with it wrapped. And if they're a guy who is known at school to have done it before, it's best to stay away. The smart guys are the ones who do it without word getting around, and in case of epic fail, you want to be stuck with a smart guy who could actually complete college.

Heh, I also made sure to tell him the ones bragging about it are probably the ones that are scared shiatless to touch a boobie. He said he'd figured that out already.

 
lstywnch 2009-07-18 03:01:47 PM  
bhcompy: cuzsis:
Yes, having children during your prime reproductive years is such a bad thing. Your body handles it so much better and so does your mind (being able to function on almost no sleep at that age anyway.) How terrible!

Or do you mean that it's terrible that our economy is completely FUBAR'd and ADULTS can't get jobs to support themselves or families? (Noticed that all your examples were over 18...)

/mother at 21
//no problems except a shiatty economy, and that doesn't disappear just because you're 35.
///not meaning to mock you at all, if you don't want to have children that early that's totally fine, it's a personal choice after all. But I would argue there's nothing inherently wrong about wanting to have kids at that particular age.

I mean that I want my son to experience life you absolutely can't as a parent. I want him to complete his Bachelors or Masters without the specter of parenthood over his head. I want him to travel the world if he feels like it. I want him to have a decent job before he has a child. It has nothing to do with the economy or the body or anything, and personally, I would have rather had my child after 25 and before 30. You're young enough to experience things with your kid that you wouldn't if you're 35 and you're old enough to have completed school without issue and do things with your life that you couldn't with a family.


I don't feel like I missed out on a whole lot. I had my oldest when I was 17, another one at 20, then the last one at 23. I have an awesome career and I'm doing better than my parents were with two kids in their thirties. Granted it was more difficult to get the degree and work full time, but having children young didn't preclude it.

It's also why I don't take my mother's stance of "DON'T DO EET!!" The Mr.'s mom took the "Just make sure you are safe" stance and he held off until he was quite a bit older. Sure made it clear to me who's approach was the better one.

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 03:07:29 PM  
FunkOut: Maybe the teacher was trying to say if you're a girl and sleep around, the guys will think you're good enough for a fun time but not good enough to be the nice girl they will want to marry to impress the folks and breed some offspring with. The "disposable sluts" versus the "fresh unused good wife material" situation.

Well yeah, that is exactly what he was saying. But I think there is a problem with attaching someone's worth as a person and a mate to how much sex they've had. I don't give a damn if my wife is "fresh and unused", neither should anyone else, and we shouldn't be teaching people to care about it in the first place.


Captain Ahab and the white whale: Lets think about this logically: if this is so, no crime can be punished, as we must just admit the ones who committed the crime did so as a biological imperative, they had no choice. Obviously, their base biology overcame them, and they did what "millions of years of evolution made them do." This is especially true of rape, as, after all, all those years were simply for the purpose of creating a self-perpetuating species, and we need to pass on our genes, right?

I'm not convinced you aren't just a troll, but if you aren't this is one of the stupidest arguments I've heard in a while.

Punishment still has a purpose even if we were to say that people had NO control over their actions (which isn't what we're saying anyway). What we're saying is that it is just a fact that less than 100% of people will make the most rational decisions about things that are emotional in nature. This seems like a conclusion so obvious that it requires no argument. Note that I didn't say NO ONE, just NOT EVERYONE.

Your arguments about crime and punishment assume that we only use punishments to reprimand people for making poor decisions, but this is wrong. Even I were making the argument that people had no control over their own actions, prison would still be useful for separating the undesirables from the rest of the populace, or for attempting to change the way that people behaved (as a shrink does); it would not simply be a punishment, but a correctional facility: imagine that! Nothing would change except the reasons for sentencing people, and they would be better reasons at that.

The utter wrongness of your argument stems from the fact that you believe our entire justice system is for meting out revenge on people, and revenge is one of the most worthless functions that any government could ever undertake.

 
SpwimmingInNY 2009-07-18 03:12:14 PM  
Shame actually does work, though there will always be a few.

Too bad it's not possible to practice it anymore.

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 03:15:03 PM  
lstywnch: I don't feel like I missed out on a whole lot. I had my oldest when I was 17, another one at 20, then the last one at 23. I have an awesome career and I'm doing better than my parents were with two kids in their thirties.

Glad you're having a good time of it.
I wouldn't want to have kids young, though, even if I could still get a job and a degree, because those aren't the only things I want to do with myself. Traveling to far-flung places for long periods of time is a little hard when you've got kids, for instance. I'm gonna stretch out my freedom and irresponsibility for a bit before I think of making mini-me's ;)

 
Impudent Domain 2009-07-18 03:16:05 PM  
I'm gonna tell my daughter that birth control pills are bad for her health. I want some grandchildren before I'm too old to pick them up.

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 03:16:44 PM  
SpwimmingInNY: Shame actually does work, though there will always be a few.

Shaming children into behaviors comes with a whole 'nother set of psychological problems.
A poor method, IMO; there are other things to consider besides whether it accomplishes your goal.

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-18 03:18:20 PM  
Impudent Domain: I'm gonna tell my daughter that birth control pills are bad for her health. I want some grandchildren before I'm too old to pick them up.

O_o

 
inigo montoya's father 2009-07-18 03:30:39 PM  
Aboleth: paloma: ah, abstinence ed. my school had a pretty fantastic health teacher...one day, he came in with a rose. he asked us who wanted it, and pretty much every girl in class raised their hands. then he started to tell a story about "jane."
she had a high school boyfriend, and after 2 years, because they were very much in love, she had sex with him. (the teacher plucks a few petals off the rose at this point) then she had a college boyfriend who she slept with (the teacher plucked a few more petals off) and then there was a one night stand (more petals off) and so on. after two or three more guys, there were no more petals left on the rose. "now who wants this?" my teacher asked, and no one raised their hand. of course, the message was to save yourself for marriage.

...it was a traumatic way to tell us, that's all i'm saying.

I don't know about the rose, but I'm pretty sure Jane's happy with the orgasms and all.


paloma: I think that's a story to get through to some high school kids. Throw in a couple pictures of some STDs and I think it could work.


Aboleth: I'm also sure Jane could have had just as good orgasms provided with a few toys. That way she could be happy without having to spread her juices all over the place. :D

 
serial_crusher [TotalFark] 2009-07-18 03:31:55 PM  
Keep bending those statistics, subby. Ever think it might have something to do with the ever-decreasing abortion rate?

Kids are having the same amount of sex or less, and not as many abortions. I call that a win.

 
rewind2846 2009-07-18 03:47:16 PM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: My prudish Mother and Father in-law's actual response on this matter.
It's in th' BAHHH-BULLL! Right there!


I LOL'ed at this, because I have relatives that talk the same way.
They're from the south, and they're why I live in California. If I could afford Hawaii I'd be there instead.
/BAHHH-BULLL!

 
bhcompy 2009-07-18 06:11:38 PM  
Gawdzila: lstywnch: I don't feel like I missed out on a whole lot. I had my oldest when I was 17, another one at 20, then the last one at 23. I have an awesome career and I'm doing better than my parents were with two kids in their thirties.

Glad you're having a good time of it.
I wouldn't want to have kids young, though, even if I could still get a job and a degree, because those aren't the only things I want to do with myself. Traveling to far-flung places for long periods of time is a little hard when you've got kids, for instance. I'm gonna stretch out my freedom and irresponsibility for a bit before I think of making mini-me's ;)


This is essentially what I want my son to have, not to mention that most people don't have the support structure(be it a family with time on their hands to babysit, a rich spouse, whatever) to be a parent to a very young child and goto school/work fulltime.

 
ThrobblefootSpectre 2009-07-18 06:54:32 PM  
Golly, ordering teens to use birth control doesn't work either.

 
lstywnch 2009-07-18 08:46:25 PM  
Gawdzila: Glad you're having a good time of it.
I wouldn't want to have kids young, though, even if I could still get a job and a degree, because those aren't the only things I want to do with myself. Traveling to far-flung places for long periods of time is a little hard when you've got kids, for instance. I'm gonna stretch out my freedom and irresponsibility for a bit before I think of making mini-me's ;)


Oh, I'll get to do that too. And buy the toyz. It's just more of a delayed gratification thing.

 
Raspil 2009-07-18 09:39:22 PM  
Impudent Domain 2009-07-18 03:16:05 PM
I'm gonna tell my daughter that birth control pills are bad for her health. I want some grandchildren before I'm too old to pick them up.


I f*cking hate you.

 
tedbundee 2009-07-18 11:04:14 PM  
Raspil: Impudent Domain 2009-07-18 03:16:05 PM
I'm gonna tell my daughter that birth control pills are bad for her health. I want some grandchildren before I'm too old to pick them up.

I f*cking hate you.


I don't. What's your daughter's name?

 
cryophile 2009-07-19 12:11:18 AM  
texastag: Not these people...



They know different now.

/That little one is trying to steal my soul through the internet
//Palin will lose in the '12 primary
///You heard it here last
////Vasectomy for me, condoms for the teens


She was the reason I voted for McCain. Yummy.

 
Oerath 2009-07-19 02:32:34 AM  
Well I thought Scotthimself was going to win troll of he thread, but then aselene showed up with a face full of stupid...

Having grown up in Utah, I know how poorly abstinence only education works, there were alot of dropouts in my highschool due to pregnancy, and I'm sure there were a number of STDs. And as someone who wasn't retarded and did have sex in highschool, I can say that I believe in condoms 100%. Had sex with a number of girls, and since not one got pregnant, and no-one caught anything, I think I can say that aselene's "facts" are quite uninformed...

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-19 04:39:22 AM  
ThrobblefootSpectre: Golly, ordering teens to use birth control doesn't work either.

No, but teach them about the issues surrounding sex, std's, and pregnancy, and how to deal with them, and more often than not they will choose to use birth control on their own. This is the best you can hope for.

Teenagers may be prone to making rash decisions, but they are more capable than you give them credit for. You don't have to order them to do everything.

Even if you think that abstinence is the best policy, you have to understand that you simply will not get everyone on board with your idea. The question then becomes one of efficacy: given that 100% adherance isn't an option, what policy will be most effective at curtailing the problems associated with teen sex? So far the absolutely unquestionable leader is better and more informative sex education, NOT abstinence education.

People need to stop see this as "giving the thumbs up to teenagers" and start realizing that this is simply the solution that works the best for the most number of people. To promote abstinence education in the face of the facts is essentially to say that you value having the most ethical (by your standards) laws more than you value having laws that actually make things better.

 
whitman00 2009-07-19 07:54:19 AM  
serial_crusher: Keep bending those statistics, subby. Ever think it might have something to do with the ever-decreasing abortion rate? Kids are having the same amount of sex or less, and not as many abortions. I call that a win.

I agree. The rate of teen sex has been the same since the 1920s according to detailed federal stats kept since that time.

However, your goal is incomplete- less abortions without a care for teen pregnancy, teen birth rates or STDs.

How about preventing all three? Promoting condom use vs. abstinence only accomplishes your goal plus two other direct ones and another indirect one- prevention of later infertility caused by undiagnosed STDs.

As for your logic:
The teen abortion rate has been declining for 25 years.

From TFA- "Birth rates among U.S. teens increased in 2006 and 2007, following large declines from 1991 to 2005, according to a new U.S. government study."

So a 25 year decline in abortion rates cannot be used to explain a very recent two year increase in teen birth rates.

 
Gawdzila 2009-07-19 08:18:08 PM  
serial_crusher: Kids are having the same amount of sex or less, and not as many abortions. I call that a win.

I wouldn't, not by itself.

How about statistics on pregnancy, not just abortions?
If kids are having sex, getting pregnant, and NOT having abortions, then this increases the number of teenage mothers. This has an effect on high school and college drop-out rates, and, in turn, on average income, the number of people without medical insurance, and the number of people who need to claim welfare benefits. It also increases the divorce rate, as teenage mothers marry young to the high schooler than got them pregnant.

I call that a lose.

 
imfallen_angel 2009-07-20 09:56:12 AM  
Gawdzila: serial_crusher: Kids are having the same amount of sex or less, and not as many abortions. I call that a win.

I wouldn't, not by itself.

How about statistics on pregnancy, not just abortions?
If kids are having sex, getting pregnant, and NOT having abortions, then this increases the number of teenage mothers. This has an effect on high school and college drop-out rates, and, in turn, on average income, the number of people without medical insurance, and the number of people who need to claim welfare benefits. It also increases the divorce rate, as teenage mothers marry young to the high schooler than got them pregnant.

I call that a lose.


I don't think I've ever heard the U.S. explained so well.

 
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