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(Deadspin) Dumbass Someone in the Lions advertising department has a sense of humor   (deadspin.com) divider line 112
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jdetweiler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-16 03:15:48 PM  
as a lions season ticket holder, i am not getting a kick out of this.


//anyone wanna buy a game?
///no one can ever accuse me of being a bandwagoner....(a lot of other things come to mind...but not a bandwagoner)

 
orezona 2009-07-16 03:16:51 PM  
i26.photobucket.com

 
therealwags 2009-07-16 03:17:31 PM  
Jubeebee: Klippoklondike: I will put myself on the line and predict 4-12 this year

I've been saying 3-13 since about February, but I could see 4-12. Enough wins so that the fans aren't rooting for losses, but enough losses to deliver that familiar hopelessness.


Come on now! Everyone knows we'll win the division this year, then roll to the Super Bowl.

Don't they?

/Lions fan
//delirious
///pass the kool aid
////just kidding, seriously looking at the same 3-13, 4-12
//slashies!

 
smeag0l 2009-07-16 03:20:02 PM  
seattletimes.nwsource.com

UW needs one too.

/hot like ty's golf swing

 
Chelle82 2009-07-16 03:23:17 PM  
BlazeTrailer: This is a valid point. They tend to really describe the unmitigated heroics and execution in the high points, gloss over the low points but somehow still translate the low points into hope for next season. You now have me really curious as to what the 2008 Lions NFL films video will look like. Maybe they just skip the whole 2008 season and highlight "new coach" and "new QB".

One of my best friends produced the Lions highlight film this year. You've pretty much got it right--no game recaps, a glossing over of the low points, and lots of "this is why they will be AWESOME next year." It's classic NFL Films propaganda, and we do it for every crappy team. Gotta love it!

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-16 03:24:21 PM  
jdetweiler: come to mind...but not a bandwagoner)

As a Nats fan I feel your pain.

 
karasoth 2009-07-16 03:28:06 PM  
T-Luv: angry_scientist: Oh wow! Is that an Oh Snap if they tell themselves???

We may need to refer to the flow chart for this one


i184.photobucket.com

 
MBooda 2009-07-16 03:32:50 PM  
Facepalm QB!
img.timeinc.net

 
Gosling [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 03:49:22 PM  
amoricanCrowe: I used to love watching the NFL Films individual team highlight films that re-capped each season. Growing up a Seahawks fan and suffering through many 4-12, 6-10 seasons, it was always a great testament to how they could make an utterly shiatty team look like they werethisclose to making it to the Super Bowl.

That said, I don't think that there is any way you could polish the turd that was the 2008 Detroit Lions.


Usually when the team is REALLY bad, NFL Films resorts to the following fallbacks, in increasing order of desperation:

*Anyone with halfway decent individual statistics. Any statistic. If someone managed to get 10 sacks on the year, they'll use it.
*The early-round draft picks.
*Anyone else of consequence signed in the offseason. (They get an excuse to show other teams' highlights.)
*New front-office people.
*Fan support.
*New stadiums.
*Uniform changes.
*Hey, look at the pretty hometown!

The Lions... expect a half hour of Matthew Stafford and dissection of the new Lions logo.

 
karasoth 2009-07-16 03:50:01 PM  
ihatedumbpeople: When the Lions go 4-12 this year it'll make Stafford look awesome.

/not really, Culpepper will likely play most of the games
//until he gets hurt and there's no other option


So game 2 of the Pre-Season

/when he opens the door on the Bus

 
TsarTom 2009-07-16 03:56:59 PM  
DNRTFA
Has the roar been restored? Well! Get my Honolulu Blue Scott Mitchell jersey laundered in time for the SB!

/hehehehehehehehehe

/Vikes fan...

//Yeah, Favre, I know. And God knows I know.

 
Gosling [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 03:57:40 PM  
TsarTom: /Vikes fan...

//Yeah, Favre, I know. And God knows I know.


Packers fan, and my sympathies.

 
Di Atribe [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 04:10:04 PM  
TonnageVT: Why would anyone but Steeler fans want to relive last season??? "Oh man, that was a great season until that final game, I want to watch every game, 'cause my team played so great until the end...too bad they dropped that last game!"

That got me thinking about the Cowboys' last game and now I'm feeling all barfy. I thought we were friends, Tonnage? Why must you do this to me? Ah well. I guess I can take comfort in knowing that, as painful as that last game was, at least we're not the Lions.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-16 04:11:47 PM  
PenguinTheRed: please: /Detroiter, and Lion fan
//:(

My condolences.

/Redskins fan
//:(



We just picked up that defensive end from Kentucky in the supplemental draft. For those who are unaware the depth chart for the Skins LDE looks like this.

Phillip Daniels age 36
Renaldo Wynn age 34
Rob Jackson 1 tackle so far in the NFL

At RDE we have Andre Carter then it gets fun.

Chris Wilson has 19 tackles and 5 sacks career
Alex Buzbee has not played yet in the nfl

Orakpo will be used at linebacker and maybe a third down defensive end in passing situations.

This was a great pickup. Defintiely well worth the third rounder next year that we would have traded by midseason or used on a punter.

 
Treygreen13 2009-07-16 04:14:38 PM  
Di Atribe: TonnageVT: Why would anyone but Steeler fans want to relive last season??? "Oh man, that was a great season until that final game, I want to watch every game, 'cause my team played so great until the end...too bad they dropped that last game!"

That got me thinking about the Cowboys' last game and now I'm feeling all barfy. I thought we were friends, Tonnage? Why must you do this to me? Ah well. I guess I can take comfort in knowing that, as painful as that last game was, at least we're not the Lions.


I think you can relive a good season, even if you didn't win the Superbowl.

 
InferiousX [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-16 04:21:24 PM  
In the Lions defense, some of their games looked like they were actually playing football during certain quarters of the game. The biggest joke on their team was the tackling. Last year's tackling attempts were some of the worst tackles I've ever seen in my whole life.

However, if you want to go for the team that look like the biggest absolute pile of dog shiat while playing, my hat has to go off to the Rams. Yes, I am aware they had at least a couple of wins under their belt, but the way the Seahawks and 9ers played last year, the Lions probably could have got at least one hash mark in the "W" column.

 
Stroke_N_Focus 2009-07-16 04:22:49 PM  
amoricanCrowe: I used to love watching the NFL Films individual team highlight films that re-capped each season. Growing up a Seahawks fan and suffering through many 4-12, 6-10 seasons, it was always a great testament to how they could make an utterly shiatty team look like they werethisclose to making it to the Super Bowl.

That said, I don't think that there is any way you could polish the turd that was the 2008 Detroit Lions.


Haha I feel you 100 percent on this one.

Growing up a chargers fan I had the same thing happen to me.

"The Chargers although down, never gave up"

Or they would highlight the couple bright spots we had..

Like our Field Goal kicker John Carney cause we never scored TD's.


Sigh..im glad we are better now.

 
GoteamVenture 2009-07-16 04:26:39 PM  
is matty stafford starting week 1? i hope not for his safety

 
willicus 2009-07-16 04:34:21 PM  
Treygreen13: Di Atribe: TonnageVT: Why would anyone but Steeler fans want to relive last season??? "Oh man, that was a great season until that final game, I want to watch every game, 'cause my team played so great until the end...too bad they dropped that last game!"

That got me thinking about the Cowboys' last game and now I'm feeling all barfy. I thought we were friends, Tonnage? Why must you do this to me? Ah well. I guess I can take comfort in knowing that, as painful as that last game was, at least we're not the Lions.

I think you can relive a good season, even if you didn't win the Superbowl.


I agree. As long as it left out the postseason, I'd have no problem watching highlights from the Panthers' 2008 season.

 
VonDozier 2009-07-16 04:38:11 PM  
img12.imageshack.us

/lions are nuggets

 
hurdboy [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 04:41:36 PM  
I think they might have a customer there....

static.nfl.com

/They lost two fewer games
//I hate Boston, but I really wanted the Patriots to win the Super Bowl so the '72 Dolphins would STFU

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 04:45:15 PM  
willicus: I agree. As long as it left out the postseason, I'd have no problem watching highlights from the Panthers' 2008 season.

Photoshop the Cardinals' defense into Panthers' WRs and you fix that, too.

 
Di Atribe [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 04:51:24 PM  
Treygreen13: I think you can relive a good season, even if you didn't win the Superbowl.

I absolutely agree. You know I'm not one of those types to go stand on a ledge if we don't win the Super Bowl every year.... but I'd rather forget that last game ever happened. But it's OK because TRAINING CAMP 11 DAYS we're all undefeated, baby.

 
Stroke_N_Focus 2009-07-16 04:53:25 PM  
VonDozier: /lions are nuggets

I lold

 
TonnageVT [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 04:55:58 PM  
Di Atribe: I absolutely agree. You know I'm not one of those types to go stand on a ledge if we don't win the Super Bowl every year.... but I'd rather forget that last game ever happened. But it's OK because TRAINING CAMP 11 DAYS we're all undefeated, baby.

We're also winless :-(

/Why is that glass half empty?

 
Lance Briggs 55 2009-07-16 04:56:50 PM  
mainstreet62: Maybe everyone else in the NFC North wanted to relive that season.

I actually purchased rewind a couple weeks ago. I wanted to get a better look at Jay Cutler and just look back at some of the memorable plays of last season.
/Bears fan

 
IMDWalrus [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:01:07 PM  
Di Atribe: Treygreen13: I think you can relive a good season, even if you didn't win the Superbowl.

I absolutely agree. You know I'm not one of those types to go stand on a ledge if we don't win the Super Bowl every year.... but I'd rather forget that last game ever happened. But it's OK because TRAINING CAMP 11 DAYS we're all undefeated, baby.


OH YEAH 4-0 TRAINING CAMP LAST SEASON, BABY!

/at least the Lions won something

 
Lost Thought 00 2009-07-16 05:04:05 PM  
Look at it this way, in a few years, you can break the record and go 0-18. Progress!

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:14:01 PM  
IMDWalrus: OH YEAH 4-0 TRAINING CAMP LAST SEASON, BABY!

You could say you went undefeated and then winless in the postseason.

Probably feels that way anyway, since it's not like you guys can remember being in the playoffs.

 
Dr. Poison 2009-07-16 05:14:04 PM  
People need to be more tolerant to sport-bois.

It's not a "decision" to enjoy patting other men on the butts, putting both hands up their taints or wrestling in the shower - its a lifestyle that America should embrace.

You're encouraged to bring your children to sport events and teach them that sweaty men hugging in the locker room is not something to make fun of on the playground. Show them how pleasurable it can be with your face between a fat guy's butt cheeks going "hut hut hut" and the RIGHT way to cup a man's balls, play grabass or safely snap a towel.

Some sport players even marry women.

 
robsul82 [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:14:48 PM  
Rewrite. Replay. Relive.

 
HMS_Blinkin 2009-07-16 05:18:54 PM  
IMDWalrus: HMS_Blinkin: S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: You better be a hockey fan if you live in Detroit.

Or a baseball or basketball fan.....

Not so much basketball right now, since the Pistons seem to be heading into a rebuilding phase. The Tigers are first in their division, though, and the Wings had a damn good run this year.


I agree the Pistons are in a rebuilding phase, but it was only a few years ago that they were NBA champs. It's possible to be a Pistons fan and have hope. They'll probably be a very good team again within, I don't know, the next 3-5 years, especially given Joe Dumars' talent for good management. The Lions, on the other hand, have NEVER, ever, ever been even decent. They will almost certainly still suck in the next 3-5 years.

that's the difference.

 
Di Atribe [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:20:30 PM  
TonnageVT: /Why is that glass half empty?

It's OK, honey. I'm sure the Giants will win one or two games this year. :)

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:22:38 PM  
HMS_Blinkin: especially given Joe Dumars' talent for good management

*citation needed*

I mean, compared to the Lions, I guess...

 
IMDWalrus [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:23:16 PM  
IAmRight: You could say you went undefeated and then winless in the postseason.

Probably feels that way anyway, since it's not like you guys can remember being in the playoffs.


No kidding. The last time the Lions won a playoff game was '91, and football was outranked by the Ninja Turtles in my list of priorities back then.

Since I was born, I've seen the Wings and Pistons win championships, the Tigers make it to the World Series (and taking down the Yankees along the way), Michigan's football team get a national championship, MSU's basketball team win the NCAA tourney...hell, the Detroit Vipers, Detroit Shock, and Detroit Demolition have all either won championships or (in the case of the Vipers) fell one game short.

And then there's the Lions.

*sigh*

 
IMDWalrus [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:30:55 PM  
HMS_Blinkin: I agree the Pistons are in a rebuilding phase, but it was only a few years ago that they were NBA champs. It's possible to be a Pistons fan and have hope. They'll probably be a very good team again within, I don't know, the next 3-5 years, especially given Joe Dumars' talent for good management. The Lions, on the other hand, have NEVER, ever, ever been even decent. They will almost certainly still suck in the next 3-5 years.

that's the difference.


You're probably right on that. The playoff "run" didn't do much to help my outlook, but I guess the end result was inevitable.

IAmRight: *citation needed*

I mean, compared to the Lions, I guess...


Disclaimer: I'm, at best, a casual basketball fan, so I'm probably going to screw something up below.

He's made some good moves. He got rid of Grant Hill and got Ben Wallace in return, and was smart enough to not resign Wallace before he began his downswing. He traded Stackhouse for Rip Hamilton, which worked out well for the Pistons. The Rasheed Wallace trade went pretty well, and while it ended disastrously, I still give him credit for trying something big with the Allen Iverson trade.

On the other hand, there's that 2003 draft pick. Darko over Carmelo Anthony or Dwayne Wade...ugh.

Dumars hasn't been perfect, but I don't think he's made any completely boneheaded moves in his time here.

 
Epiphany 2009-07-16 05:31:38 PM  
IslanderInExile: Uh, yyeeahhhh, let's just go ahead and not relive last year. Mmmkay?

That's what happens when you cheat your way to three super bowls. Everyone I knew was rooting for Brady to get injured in the first game. Collective consciousness, everyone willed it to happen and it did.

 
Fat and Nasty 86 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:35:48 PM  
Ironically, this thread is full of win.

 
Tellingthem 2009-07-16 05:41:26 PM  
HMS_Blinkin: IMDWalrus: HMS_Blinkin: S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: You better be a hockey fan if you live in Detroit.

Or a baseball or basketball fan.....

Not so much basketball right now, since the Pistons seem to be heading into a rebuilding phase. The Tigers are first in their division, though, and the Wings had a damn good run this year.

I agree the Pistons are in a rebuilding phase, but it was only a few years ago that they were NBA champs. It's possible to be a Pistons fan and have hope. They'll probably be a very good team again within, I don't know, the next 3-5 years, especially given Joe Dumars' talent for good management. The Lions, on the other hand, have NEVER, ever, ever been even decent. They will almost certainly still suck in the next 3-5 years.

that's the difference.


Ummm yes they have.

Detroit Lions

NFL Champions: 1935, 1952, 1953, 1957

 
browneye 2009-07-16 05:51:39 PM  
The Lions, on the other hand, have NEVER, ever, ever been even decent. They will almost certainly still suck in the next 3-5 years.

that's the difference.

Ummm yes they have.

Detroit Lions

NFL Champions: 1935, 1952, 1953, 1957


Which means that the last championship the Lions won was fifty-two years ago.

And in all of the last fifty-two years, the Detroit Lions have have won exactly one playoff game.

Pitiful is only the beginning of how to describe the Detroit Lions

 
Stroke_N_Focus 2009-07-16 05:56:36 PM  
browneye: The Lions, on the other hand, have NEVER, ever, ever been even decent. They will almost certainly still suck in the next 3-5 years.

that's the difference.

Ummm yes they have.

Detroit Lions

NFL Champions: 1935, 1952, 1953, 1957

Which means that the last championship the Lions won was fifty-two years ago.

And in all of the last fifty-two years, the Detroit Lions have have won exactly one playoff game.

Pitiful is only the beginning of how to describe the Detroit Lions


Seriously.

If you werent around in the 50's the lions were NEVER interesting except for one guy...

www.sportscolumn.com


Otherwise..the lions get the mercy flush.

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 05:57:01 PM  
browneye: And in all of the last fifty-two years, the Detroit Lions have have won exactly one playoff game

It was more fun before last year when it was possible to say that since the Korean War, the Lions and the Cardinals had each only won one playoff game...and each was against the Cowboys.

Then the Cardinals had to go and quadruple their output.

 
Treygreen13 2009-07-16 06:03:42 PM  
IAmRight: browneye: And in all of the last fifty-two years, the Detroit Lions have have won exactly one playoff game

It was more fun before last year when it was possible to say that since the Korean War, the Lions and the Cardinals had each only won one playoff game...and each was against the Cowboys.

Then the Cardinals had to go and quadruple their output.


We're there so often, it was bound to happen.

 
the biggest redneck here [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 06:10:00 PM  
The good news is that they'll probably sell a few for novelty sake. The bad news is that the purchasers will be using Michigan dollars, therefor knocking some 96% off their value.

 
IMDWalrus [TotalFark] 2009-07-16 06:14:40 PM  
Stroke_N_Focus: If you werent around in the 50's the lions were NEVER interesting except for one guy...

Charlie Batch?

/ducks

 
Stroke_N_Focus 2009-07-16 06:18:08 PM  
IMDWalrus: Stroke_N_Focus: If you werent around in the 50's the lions were NEVER interesting except for one guy...

Charlie Batch?

/ducks


lol

 
Greenville 2009-07-16 06:26:13 PM  
I honestly want to see Lions fans storm the field if Detroit's first win is at home. Joy, relief, and sarcasm all at the same time.

 
IslanderInExile 2009-07-16 06:43:32 PM  
Epiphany: IslanderInExile: Uh, yyeeahhhh, let's just go ahead and not relive last year. Mmmkay?

That's what happens when you cheat your way to three super bowls. Everyone I knew was rooting for Brady to get injured in the first game. Collective consciousness, everyone willed it to happen and it did.


Shouldn't you have rooted for Belichick to get hit by a bus or something? Brady didn't do anything wrong. I'm not going to say we didn't cheat but it wasn't Brady's fault.

Besides, who would you rather watch all season?

This guy:binsidetv.net

or this guy:sixfourthreeblog.files.wordpress.com

 
Stroke_N_Focus 2009-07-16 06:45:42 PM  
IslanderInExile: Epiphany: IslanderInExile: Uh, yyeeahhhh, let's just go ahead and not relive last year. Mmmkay?

That's what happens when you cheat your way to three super bowls. Everyone I knew was rooting for Brady to get injured in the first game. Collective consciousness, everyone willed it to happen and it did.

Shouldn't you have rooted for Belichick to get hit by a bus or something? Brady didn't do anything wrong. I'm not going to say we didn't cheat but it wasn't Brady's fault.

Besides, who would you rather watch all season?

This guy:

or this guy:


I cant stop staring at the first pic you posted......

there is a guy in that pic?

All i see is side boob.

 
bonehead800 2009-07-16 07:25:35 PM  
Treygreen13:

I think you can relive a good season, even if you didn't win the Superbowl.


Very true! Coming off a crappy season the year before, with a rookie QB and an aging defense I didn't think my Ravens would be doing anything. I was thrilled when they won a few games, and especially after blowing out the Dolphins in the playoffs. I was cool with it ending there. Lucking it out over the Titans was just icing on the cake. Even the last game wasn't TOO painful (once a few weeks out) because the Steelers are a damn good team, much as we hatesss them.

 
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