Control_this: spent a portion of his morning reading the Bible before running into the street screaming he was "the son of Jesus" and beating several people

Religion of Peace, indeed.

I came here for the obligatory comment about how this douchebag reflects on the entire religion.

MBooda: Little bastards, he was probably just trying to teach them golf.

I'll see your Jesus dry humping a girl, and raise you a Jesus getting head from a boy!

That'll put the fear of God in 'em.

I'm off to buy some Orville Rednbacher stock berfore this gets really going...

I was most assuredly *NOT* there...

//Checks link

...apparently, the pool is closed...

...goddammmitsomuch...

So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long...

Be Patient
http://tinyurl.com/m8a3q4
(copy and paste)

What does one wear to an auto de fe?

eqtworld: jehovahs witness protection: I have a special program we could get the kids into.
[insipid painting]

Oh, great. We go to heaven just to be the biatch.

Morton_toes: RoxtarRyan: Huh... not only am I in CT, but I'm also right now watching that whole "anti-christ" program on the History Channel.

*Heh*

I'm not really 'anti-christ', I just find religious types kind of off-putting.

I'm watching this shiat drinking beer and eating nachos. As lazy as it sounds, I feel better about myself. See, they are interviewing people who think Katrina was a sign of the endtimes and that it was brought about by using a weather control device and how magic can protect people by forcing the gods to look after them. *sigh*...

My roommate just looks at me and says "dude.. these people are farking dumb."

No truer words have been spoken today.

Morton_toes: I'm off to buy some Orville Rednbacher stock berfore this gets really going...

APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/l28g3n
(copy and paste, NSFW)

Korovyov: FTA:

Police suspect Ruben Vasquez Jr., 24, was "on something" as he allegedly assaulted two men and two children, age 1 and 3, and a police officer.

"On something"? You don't say...

Unless he had just smoked a speedball of jimson weed, salvia and PCP, what you have here is a classic case of schizophrenia. That anyone would automatically assume he was "on something" says as much about their mentality as it does about his.

Found this earlier today, think it's kinda cool:

vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

Are you one of those "I only believe some of my miracle book" guys. You don't get to pick and choose your fairy tales just to suit a particular century. It is either true or a load of crap, and if you read this tripe, the crap side is winning.

JayR30: eqtworld: He's not coming back, he gave a time limit for his return. Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

You do realize this was as recorded by members following him who were formerly of an apocalyptic sect?

Is the Bible true or not? Doesn't matter who wrote what down if the Book is true and without error.

red5ish: What does one wear to an auto de fe?

Fender skirts and a bonnet?

Let those of you without wood cast the first stone.

phlegmmo: Let those of you without wood cast the first stone.

*I'm out*

"...and I feel just like Jesus' son"

/Heroin -- it is a helluva drug.
//better not be obscure on Fark

subby:

For all you folks that have been waiting for Jesus to return, he's in Connecticut beating children with a 2-by-4



Son Of Jesus...Son Of...

/although, that *just* doesn't have the same effect as Son Of A B...

Ed Grubermann: JayR30: eqtworld: He's not coming back, he gave a time limit for his return. Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

You do realize this was as recorded by members following him who were formerly of an apocalyptic sect?

Is the Bible true or not? Doesn't matter who wrote what down if the Book is true and without error.

Way to give him a boot to the head. So few novices get to experience so much Tae Kwan Leap so soon.

Okay, here's version 2.0, hope it's more to your liking!

vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

Man, you Christians guys are the ones who appear to believe they (some) are going to be bodily sucked up to heaven...

So minor a bunch, in fact, that you appear to control policy in the US...

He looks like the son of Latonya.

maxwellhauser: Where was Biff?

/obscure?

Don't worry - I got it. One of the best books of the past 10 years.

/his name was Josh

aagrajag: vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

Man, you Christians guys are the ones who appear to believe they (some) are going to be bodily sucked up to heaven...

So minor a bunch, in fact, that you appear to control policy in the US...





That said...GTFO and GBTW

/and DIAF

eqtworld: He's not coming back, he gave a time limit for his return. Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

-Jesus

Matthew 16:27-28

/The More You Know...

vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

sounds like you got sand in your vagible

vertiaset: Zamboro

Vertiaset: "SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not."

Wait, you speak for two billion Christians? They don't believe Jesus will return? They don't believe in Heaven?

Why don't you, Vertias, king of all Christians, tell me what they believe.

I always suspected that you were entirely ignorant of Christianity and relied upon your cut and paste skills and bookmarked atheist blogs to form your "arguments". Thank you for admitting it. Christians are a diverse group and within each group, individuals believe as their consciences dictate. You, like all fundamentalists see only black and white with no shades of gray. You see your perceived "enemy" as a monolithic entity with no room for individual thought or conscience. Like all fundies, you are intolerant of others who may disagree with you and your mind is firmly closed.

In addition, you, as is also the case with fundamentalists of all stripes, have convinced yourself that you have a direct pipeline to the "Truth", that your particular brand of snake oil is the only true brew.

You are an unintentional caricature of the very "fundies" you like to mock. This makes you a figure of ridicule.

What makes you a figure of ridicule, is believing in fairy tales. Don't you realize most kids accept the fact Santa isn't real by the time they're about, oh I dunno, 8 or 10?

vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

You're so cute. I've seen enough "inspirational" art to be pretty sure that was the work of a believer. But you keep on blaming us bitter, angry, God-hating atheists if it makes you feel better.

I'm actually of the opinion that Jesus never existed. He's completely invented. A myth. Christians just don't like to admit that Jesus is on exactly the same level as Horus or Zeus.

/Open to the idea of debate.
//But real debate. Not internet debate.

I love this headline

Zombie Jesus wants you to turn the other cheek--so he can finish eating your face.

vertiaset: Zamboro

Vertiaset: "SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not."

Wait, you speak for two billion Christians? They don't believe Jesus will return? They don't believe in Heaven?

Why don't you, Vertias, king of all Christians, tell me what they believe.

I always suspected that you were entirely ignorant of Christianity and relied upon your cut and paste skills and bookmarked atheist blogs to form your "arguments". Thank you for admitting it. Christians are a diverse group and within each group, individuals believe as their consciences dictate. You, like all fundamentalists see only black and white with no shades of gray. You see your perceived "enemy" as a monolithic entity with no room for individual thought or conscience. Like all fundies, you are intolerant of others who may disagree with you and your mind is firmly closed.

In addition, you, as is also the case with fundamentalists of all stripes, have convinced yourself that you have a direct pipeline to the "Truth", that your particular brand of snake oil is the only true brew.

You are an unintentional caricature of the very "fundies" you like to mock. This makes you a figure of ridicule.

Yes, demanding evidence for the extraordinary claim of religion is way out of line.

Which flavour, then:

...the "Believe, and go to heaven irrespective of your crimes"?
...the "Elect"?
...repent on your deathbed, nevermind your atrocities?
...the "confess"?

I know Christians; that's why I am done with them.

Englebert Slaptyback: HotWingConspiracy

Carpenters know how to wield 2x4's. Just be glad he didn't have his hammer on him.


You nailed it.


(Tell me you saw that one coming. Hope I didn't screw it up)

I didn't, but thank you.

The veal was great.

kb7rky: aagrajag: vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

Man, you Christians guys are the ones who appear to believe they (some) are going to be bodily sucked up to heaven...

So minor a bunch, in fact, that you appear to control policy in the US...

That said...GTFO and GBTW

/and DIAF

Eh?

What is the "Troll" designation" for, exactly? Never been called that before...

vertiaset: Zamboro

(Silly little stock atheist image depicting the rapture)

SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

How do ya call yourself a Christian if you do not believe in the rapture? Not saying that all Christians believe Jesus will open a hole in the sky and suck folks up as depicted in the picture, but the Rapture is in the bible, claiming the rapture is exclusively Evangelic is, well, Ignorant.

Up next, let's talk about turning the other cheek, is that what you did when you called somebody an Ignorant Asshat? Way to be Christian!

How come they didn't taser him? I though that was a perfectly appropriate situation.

King Wicker: I'm actually of the opinion that Jesus never existed. He's completely invented. A myth. Christians just don't like to admit that Jesus is on exactly the same level as Horus or Zeus.
i>


Or the tooth fairy, santa claus, that paul bunyon created the great lakes, or that when it thunders, god is clapping his hands.

yeah, makes perfect sense. people have been coming up with myth's to explain what is unexplainable to them. it makes people feel comfortable, and less out of control, in a world whose environment is (at least up until recently) very hard to control.

When did he leave Chicago?

/this Halloween I'm going as Jesus 'tap dancing' Christ

aagrajag: What is the "Troll" designation" for, exactly? Never been called that before...

Well Teh Googles is hard.

And I do find it hard to buy that it would have been your first, folks throw the term arround as if it was going out of style.

Usualy most folks using the term are simply saying they disagree,regardless if the other poster was actually (Trolling) or not.

Spare the child, spoil the rod.

I knows it's true cause the Bible tells me so.

/of god
//hot like sun

(S)He Wants Revenge.

CapitolG: aagrajag: What is the "Troll" designation" for, exactly? Never been called that before...

Well Teh Googles is hard.

And I do find it hard to buy that it would have been your first, folks throw the term arround as if it was going out of style.

Usualy most folks using the term are simply saying they disagree,regardless if the other poster was actually (Trolling) or not.

I know what the word means, genius, I'm just not quite certain why I've earned the designation.

vertiaset: SOME Christians, a small minority of Evangelicals, believe this. The rest of the TWO BILLION Christians, do not.

Get it you ignorant atheist asshat?

Newsflash you fundie twatwaffle, there are nowhere near two billion christians, and that is what it says in their little book of bronze age mythology, so if they DON'T believe that crap, they're heathens.

Nice job Zamboro. Hilarious.
Get it?

Now THIS is why I worship Jesus.

vertiaset: I always suspected that you were entirely ignorant of Christianity and relied upon your cut and paste skills and bookmarked atheist blogs to form your "arguments".

This may come as a surprise to you, but most atheists grew up in religious families. Most even went to church for years. Very few atheists grew up never being in the church.

CapitolG: the Rapture is in the bible

[citation needed] Chapter/verses?

/X-tian
//Don't believe in the Rapture