Approves


/hot

He then stole their pogo stick. Bastard.

WTFJESUSPADLOL

Well, that destroys my story about Chewbacca coming over to my house party and stealing my fire extinguisher.

I have a special program we could get the kids into.

What's that? You want some of my Cheez-It's?

Damn...the dude really let himself go.

Crabman??

Carpenters know how to wield 2x4's. Just be glad he didn't have his hammer on him.

eqtworld: Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews

I was just stuck in traffic behind one.

Great headline.

BeefyT: Approves


/hot

one and done.

FTA:

A local man, who police said spent a portion of his morning reading the Bible before running into the street screaming he was "the son of Jesus" and beating several people with a 2-by-4, is to be arraigned this morning in Superior Court in Manchester.

Police suspect Ruben Vasquez Jr., 24, was "on something" as he allegedly assaulted two men and two children, age 1 and 3, and a police officer.

"On something"? You don't say...

Vasquez, of 47 Holl St., was charged with two counts of risk of injury to a minor, four counts of second-degree assault, assault on a police officer, criminal trespass, third-degree criminal mischief, interfering with police, disorderly conduct and attempted first-degree assault


...mopery, provoking, high treason, being a smart guy, listening to classical music, and so on.

He didn't say he was Jesus, just Jesus's son... Ruben.

You don't have to worry 'cause takin' care of business is his name.

Looks like some stray bits of paint on his chin. Just sayin'.

WWJSD?

looks more like the sun of buckwheat..

HotWingConspiracy

Carpenters know how to wield 2x4's. Just be glad he didn't have his hammer on him.


You nailed it.


(Tell me you saw that one coming. Hope I didn't screw it up)

eqtworld: He's not coming back, he gave a time limit for his return. Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

You do realize this was as recorded by members following him who were formerly of an apocalyptic sect?

Well, he is the right skin color.

Jesus was not White!

JayR30: You do realize this was as recorded by members following him who were formerly of an apocalyptic sect?

Judean People's Front?

Jesus is Coming.
look busy

Jesus had a son?

Where was Biff?

/obscure?

Raharu: Well, he is the right skin color.

Jesus was not White!

What next? You gonna say he wasn't American and didn't speak English???

Jesus Christ.

Jesus WAS my co-pilot.
but we crashed in the Andes
and I had to eat him.

This turned out better than the Taiping Rebellion, at least.

eqtworld: Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

First headline I'd actually wear on a shirt.

/Send the born again nut jobs at work into a frenzy.

Jesus Whipped



hotlinky

eqtworld: He's not coming back, he gave a time limit for his return. Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

-Jesus

Matthew 16:27-28



???

Raharu: Well, he is the right skin color.

Jesus was not White!


Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

Princeton:
Who?

Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.

Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.

Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

Princeton:
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

Son of Jesus is not the same as Jesus. Besides, Jesus was clearly on his paper route.

Jesus, Tap Dancing, Christ

Man, they're gonna crucify him in court!

Alyna_jf: Jesus Christ.

and son!

god works in mysterious ways

That's cool, I expected returning Jesus to be a pervert.

Were_Outta_Bort_License_Plates: JayR30: You do realize this was as recorded by members following him who were formerly of an apocalyptic sect?

Judean People's Front?

No, the People's Front of Judea!

Spare the 2x4, spoil the child?

salvador.hardin: Jesus is Coming.
look busy

Simple, yet funny... I like it.

burndtdan: eqtworld: Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

I really don't like you right now.

Were_Outta_Bort_License_Plates: JayR30: You do realize this was as recorded by members following him who were formerly of an apocalyptic sect?

Judean People's Front?

No it was the People's Front of Judea...

eqtworld: He's not coming back, he gave a time limit for his return. Unless you know a few 2000+ year old jews...

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

-Jesus

Matthew 16:27-28

Seriously? Tell me the story about Lot farking his daughters, I always liked that one.

spent a portion of his morning reading the Bible before running into the street screaming he was "the son of Jesus" and beating several people

Religion of Peace, indeed.

Ha, little off topic but made me think of this:

You think Jesus was a good carpenter? People coulda been, "good thing that messiah thing worked out. Built a shed for my cousin, what a piece of crap"....or something like that.