What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

I got stabbed in the eye with a rusty fishhook. It sucked bad.

pizen: What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

A Twinkie.

pizen: What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

Pictures of Emma Watson.

Manta537: pizen: What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

A Twinkie.

DannyJunior: pizen: What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

Pictures of Emma Watson.

How about Emma Watson's twinkie?

That is one sweet url:

/police-man-tries-stab-man-eye-screwdriver/

Sounds like he was trying to stab him in the penis, AKA, the "man eye"

Was his name Philips?

The orange juice stings.

I've had repeated nightmares about losing an eye to an umbrella, so I'm cringing like hell at these replies.

Buford? classic

gorgor: The orange juice stings.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey, we've got a drink named after you!" and the grasshopper says "You've got a drink named 'Steve'?!?!?"

Came for Lenny reference....leaving disappointed.

Was it Philips or Flathead? This is important. If I had to choose which is I would rather be stabbed with...this is a hard call.

The Philips isnt as sharp, but it would leave a hole. The Flathead is just a deep slit, but is sharper.

/In 8th grade, we were at recess playing stick ball. The line of kids waiting to bat wasnt behind the fence. One of the kids accidently let the stick slide out from his hands and it flew directly into the face of one of my classmates, hitting him squarely in the eye. He fainted, lost a shiat-ton of blood and threw.

He survived but lost his eye and had nerve damage to his face.

Eventually, he Goetz over it.

Was Absolut or Stoli used in the screwdriver?

/WHAT!

crap. meant to say he threw up more than i have ever seen. Just endless vomiting as he was almost dying.

My own shellacked dick is up there too.

I was always afraid of sticking the teeth of the hay rake into my eye. I NEVER ever ran to get on the tractor. Ever.

Yeah, I'm not right.

NeuroticRocker 2009-07-15 02:02:23 PM
crap. meant to say he threw up more than i have ever seen. Just endless vomiting as he was almost dying.
my brother got stabbed in the eye with a dog claw, and he tossed many a cookie, and could barely walk. the human body is a wierd thing.

Since he didn't actually get stabbed in the eye, who cares? It hit his head, which still sucks, but it's not the eye.

Hey! Didja all see? We can follow the reporter on Twitter!

FTA: - Gavin Lesnick (Follow Gavin on Twitter)

Sweet!

You're talking to me all wrong... It's the wrong tone. You do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!

Looks like the Wu Tang Clan strikes again.

Oh wait, it wasn't a rusty screwdriver.

In a freak accident when I was 5, I stabbed myself in the eye with a screwdriver. Went under the eye, rather then through so wasn't too bad.

FTFA: "Buford immediately engaged Hanger and struck him with a screwdriver in the head between his left eye and temple," Detective Robert Wies wrote in the affidavit.


Actually, it sounds a lot more like he was trying to stab the man in the head.

Of course, Emma Watson's twinkie would likely have resulted in fewer complaints.

pizen: What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

My own personal hell (and source of a recurring nightmare) would include several of these being unleashed upon my nutsack.

What's that insect that uses a needle-like penis-stinger to forcibly inject agressive sperm into the female's bloodstream?

That.

That is the thing with which I do not want to be stabbed in the eye.

"...screwdriver out of my head!"

lukelightning: gorgor: The orange juice stings.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey, we've got a drink named after you!" and the grasshopper says "You've got a drink named 'Steve'?!?!?"

Then he hung himself in a closet while masterbating.

pizen: What would you like to be stabbed in the eye with?

BOOBIES!!

One of those electric screwdrivers would hurt a shait-load!

"That's a Stabbin" or "then it gets all Stabby"

/GIS for Eye Screwdriver

heh. the second thing that got jabbed in my dads eye was a screwdriver...

Buford you say?

NeuroticRocker: Was it Philips or Flathead? This is important. If I had to choose which is I would rather be stabbed with...this is a hard call.

The Philips isnt as sharp, but it would leave a hole. The Flathead is just a deep slit, but is sharper.

/In 8th grade, we were at recess playing stick ball. The line of kids waiting to bat wasnt behind the fence. One of the kids accidently let the stick slide out from his hands and it flew directly into the face of one of my classmates, hitting him squarely in the eye. He fainted, lost a shiat-ton of blood and threw.

He survived but lost his eye and had nerve damage to his face.

That's my nickname for your mom

I got stabbed in the eye with a rusty fishhook. It sucked bad.

Buddy didn't get it in the eyeball, but the eyelid when fishing... from his brother when trying to cast.

Brother nailed him AGAIN the very next trip! Same eye.

/we were still kids
//he NEVER strayed near his brother while fishing again -literally

other thought that came to mind was capt'n stabbin' but i'm not going to GIS that at work.

The first Halloween I can remember someone had a stuffed dummy on their doorstep with screwdrivers in its eyes. And that was the end of my trick-or treating. This still squicks me out.

Donor: /GIS for Eye Screwdriver

Possibly NSFW...and yes, he survived. (new window)

NeuroticRocker: Was it Philips or Flathead?


Sometimes referred to in Arkansas as a "Plus" or a "Minus" screwdriver.

There was a guy here at a lake a few years ago here that saw an egret caught on fishing line in a partially submerged bush.He went up to it in his boat to see if he could free it.Well,the damn thing pecked him in his eye and he's now blind in that eye.

"Ow my eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it"

Icicle?

thereisnospoon: NeuroticRocker 2009-07-15 02:02:23 PM
crap. meant to say he threw up more than i have ever seen. Just endless vomiting as he was almost dying.
my brother got stabbed in the eye with a dog claw, and he tossed many a cookie, and could barely walk. the human body is a wierd thing.

I think the vagus nerve runs right behind the eye and doesn't like being pressed on. At least, in dogs pressing on the eye lowers the heart rate, eventually to dangerous levels. Dunno if people do that too.

/Not a doctor.

I had a corn leaf gouge my cornea. Boy is that a bad sensation. Feels like you have sharp bits of metal in your eye, like around it or behind it or under it. Brain can't quite get a lock on where to 'place' the pain sensation I guess.

Apparently when the doctor dropped some dye in he could still see the triangular outline of the leaf tip and said "Wow there's a whole chunk missing" which scared the crap out of me.

It healed up ok and I can see fine, but apparently it never quite heals as perfectly as before, so every once in a while i get a bad pain (usually when I'm getting up in the morning) where my dry eyelid has ripped off a little cornea due to it not being as flat as it should be.

Approves, but would have recommended insertion through the base of the skull.

oldcub: "...screwdriver out of my head!"

Came here for this, full quote is "get the damn screwdriver out of my head!" Link (new window)