I got a letter once from the Department of Child Support Enforcement.

"The father of your children [Mr. DARTH BROOKS] has admitted to their paternity, so no further court actions need to be made at this time."

What a relief.

/father of two.

/mother of none.

/and don't think "Mr. Mom" is some kind of compliment.

Men absolutely need more parental leave after the birth or adoption of a child. Unfortunately, the traditional role of women being considered the "more natural" parent is a stereotype that harms women in the workplace and harms men by belittling their parental contribution. The Patriarchy harms men as well as women.

If I remember correctly here you get 12 months between the parents and the mother has to take 3 of them. My brother-in-law took some parental leave for both of his kids.

Speaking as a father of two young kids, I gotta say that heading back to work for an eight-hour break everyday is one of the perks of being a father. I'm (un)lucky enough to have a flexible job that allows me to be home for a couple hours in the morning with them and back early enough to help with dinner and putting them to bed, but that time in the office when all I have to deal with is phone calls and emails and reports and meetings is pure relaxation gold.

What I would have considered "work" before having kids is a delightful break from what I now realize to be real work.

Whatever, subby, I can go for almost TWICE that long.

My husband was supposed to get 2 weeks leave (his unused vacation time) when our son was born last year. His employer biatched at him for missing work the day I gave birth and demanded that he return to work the same day we were released.

/farkers laid him off last month shortly after promising him a transfer

Solid State Vittles: Whatever, subby, I can go for almost TWICE that long.

Putting on the condom doesn't count.

Solid State Vittles: Whatever, subby, I can go for almost TWICE that long.

HAHA! I'm a member of the Minute Club.

pestluvr: My husband was supposed to get 2 weeks leave (his unused vacation time) when our son was born last year. His employer biatched at him for missing work the day I gave birth and demanded that he return to work the same day we were released.

/farkers laid him off last month shortly after promising him a transfer

I sincerely hope he left them an upper decker on his way out the door.

My wife got one month maternity paid. She had to eat up vacation time to extend it.

I got nothing. I took two weeks just to be there to help out for the first kid.

While my husband was rather worthless during the birth because he was freaking out like an 80s movie, he was really freaking supportive the entire time I was pregnant. I couldn't drink so he didn't drink. He changed his diet with me, rubbed my feet, watched the two older kids so I could take naps. Held my hair back when I barfed. ran to the store at 2 am if I really wanted to eat something.

Gwendolyn: While my husband was rather worthless during the birth because he was freaking out like an 80s movie, he was really freaking supportive the entire time I was pregnant. I couldn't drink so he didn't drink. He changed his diet with me, rubbed my feet, watched the two older kids so I could take naps. Held my hair back when I barfed. ran to the store at 2 am if I really wanted to eat something.

Mine too. Well, I fortunately didn't get barfy, but he would run to the store when I needed Fruity Pebbles (my pregnancy craving) and put up w/ my mood swings w/out complaint. He cooked, and still does, whatever crazy thing I want/ed. Men are not given enough credit for their nurturing side, and that's a shame.

Abso-farking-lutely. I had to take paid vacation time off of my job as an Assistant Store Manager of a Home Depot store, and all they'd give me is a week. One. farking. week. And they wouldn't have even given me any if I hadn't had any PTO.

ragekage: Abso-farking-lutely. I had to take paid vacation time off of my job as an Assistant Store Manager of a Home Depot store, and all they'd give me is a week. One. farking. week. And they wouldn't have even given me any if I hadn't had any PTO.

That's sad, especially with the push to get fathers more involved in their lives' of their children.

Employees:

I mock you.

I mock your business casual attire.

I mock your ID badges.

I mock your paid time off.

I mock you being controlled by someone else.

I mock you.

Sincerely,
A self-employed person.

\P.S. - MOCK.

I'm hoping my husband gets some time off for the baby. As it is, I only get two weeks paid (what was once known as my sick & vacation time). Ugh, this has caused way much stress on us as far as time off, arranging care for after my time runs out, etc. I'd love to be able to stay home, but I'm the primary breadwinner and I know we can't survive on one income.

Oh well...at least I get breaks and summers off.

ragekage: Abso-farking-lutely. I had to take paid vacation time off of my job as an Assistant Store Manager of a Home Depot store, and all they'd give me is a week. One. farking. week. And they wouldn't have even given me any if I hadn't had any PTO.

I took a week of unpaid time when I was working the Commercial desk at Lowe's.

It's funny, I know without having to check that every single person in this thread is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

GAT_00: It's funny, I know without having to check that every single person in this thread is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

I'm Canadian. Mothers get 12 months, fathers could take up to two months I think. Doesn't matter, I couldn't afford the 50% haircut I'd have to take.

Playerslight: GAT_00: It's funny, I know without having to check that every single person in this thread is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

I'm Canadian. Mothers get 12 months, fathers could take up to two months I think. Doesn't matter, I couldn't afford the 50% haircut I'd have to take.

Yeah, I should have clarified that actually. I know without having to check that every single person in this thread who is talking about weeks, not months off is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

The fact of the matter is that if an American father tried to take off two months to help his wife with a child, he'd almost certainly be laughed out of the building. Hell, in most cases, the mother who asked for two months would be laughed out of the building.

Playerslight: I'm Canadian. Mothers get 12 months, fathers could take up to two months I think. Doesn't matter, I couldn't afford the 50% haircut I'd have to take.

12 months for moms and 2 months for fathers? It's better than what we have here, but it still seems wrong. Babies for only babies for so long, and men should get to experience it in full. Although, I guess it could really impact business if it were longer, and women are often nursing the first year while men obviously are not.

GAT_00: if an American father tried to take off two months to help his wife with a child, he'd almost certainly be laughed out of the building

My husband had a hell of a time when he tried to get paternity leave, but"fortunately" he got laid off shortly after our son was born.

Hagbardr: ragekage: Abso-farking-lutely. I had to take paid vacation time off of my job as an Assistant Store Manager of a Home Depot store, and all they'd give me is a week. One. farking. week. And they wouldn't have even given me any if I hadn't had any PTO.

I took a week of unpaid time when I was working the Commercial desk at Lowe's.

Yeah, but you pro-desk sprogs don't do anything, not since you stop being salaried and forced to work for Chinese overtime, anyhow. Bad management crew is what it was, nothing more- what made me decide to get my ass back to school, so I didn't spend the rest of my life working in a big, orange box.

I worked for Lowe's at one point, actually; ran Appliances/Cabinets/Flooring. I will never forget the speech our Ops ASM gave us. "I'm from Wilkesboro, North Carolina," he said, "I've worked for Lowe's since I was 16, never graduated high school, and now look at me! I'm an Ops manager for a Lowe's store; and someday I'll be a store manager, and maybe even a District Manager! See what you can accomplish with this company?"

Those are some of the most chilling words I've ever heard in my life.

The Icelander: Employees:

I mock you.

I mock your business casual attire.

I mock your ID badges.

I mock your paid time off.

I mock you being controlled by someone else.

I mock you.

Sincerely,
A self-employed person.

\P.S. - MOCK.

Amen!!!!

/self employment is the ONLY way to go!

But their most severe criticism relates to the gulf between the benefits received by mothers who are already well-off financially and poorer mothers. Mothers earning £50,000 a year and taking six months' leave receive nearly £8,000 from the taxpayer, whereas a mother earning £12,000 would receive £4,500.

And this is not fair? If you earn 50,000 you get less than a sixth of your salary. If you earn 12,00 you get over a third.

ragekage: Hagbardr: ragekage: Abso-farking-lutely. I had to take paid vacation time off of my job as an Assistant Store Manager of a Home Depot store, and all they'd give me is a week. One. farking. week. And they wouldn't have even given me any if I hadn't had any PTO.

I took a week of unpaid time when I was working the Commercial desk at Lowe's.

Yeah, but you pro-desk sprogs don't do anything, not since you stop being salaried and forced to work for Chinese overtime, anyhow. Bad management crew is what it was, nothing more- what made me decide to get my ass back to school, so I didn't spend the rest of my life working in a big, orange box.

I worked for Lowe's at one point, actually; ran Appliances/Cabinets/Flooring. I will never forget the speech our Ops ASM gave us. "I'm from Wilkesboro, North Carolina," he said, "I've worked for Lowe's since I was 16, never graduated high school, and now look at me! I'm an Ops manager for a Lowe's store; and someday I'll be a store manager, and maybe even a District Manager! See what you can accomplish with this company?"

Those are some of the most chilling words I've ever heard in my life.

Amen again! Fat, drunk and stupid Working for the man is noooo way to go through life... Well, ok... maybe being drunk ain't all that bad...

obvious error is obvious

12,000

First kid I took 2 weeks off. Second kid I took off 2 weeks. After paying daycare for 2 kids I quit working.

Playerslight: GAT_00: It's funny, I know without having to check that every single person in this thread is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

I'm Canadian. Mothers get 12 months, fathers could take up to two months I think. Doesn't matter, I couldn't afford the 50% haircut I'd have to take.

would you become bald? couldn't you donate it to "Locks of Love" or something?

The Icelander: Employees:

I mock you.

I mock your business casual attire.

I mock your ID badges.

I mock your paid time off.

I mock you being controlled by someone else.

I mock you.

Sincerely,
A self-employed person.

\P.S. - MOCK.

Meh, the badge is a two times a day hassle, the clothes are pretty comfortable (and paid for by company), the paid time off is nice because I'm being paid even though I'm not working, and I enjoy the fact that my contributions towards retirement are being doubled and that my health insurance is pretty damn good. Ideally I'd like to come in to work whenever I want, but as far as work goes I think things are well. If things ever improve though I'll be sure to post on a message board to make fun of others not as lucky.

Because that's what a non-shiathead would do.

You breeders need to chill. You have options. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

GAT_00: Playerslight: GAT_00: It's funny, I know without having to check that every single person in this thread is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

I'm Canadian. Mothers get 12 months, fathers could take up to two months I think. Doesn't matter, I couldn't afford the 50% haircut I'd have to take.

Yeah, I should have clarified that actually. I know without having to check that every single person in this thread who is talking about weeks, not months off is an American, because no other nation treats it's working class citizens this bad.

The fact of the matter is that if an American father tried to take off two months to help his wife with a child, he'd almost certainly be laughed out of the building. Hell, in most cases, the mother who asked for two months would be laughed out of the building.

Here in California the law is something like 2 to 6 months off for the father with half pay. It's somewhere in that range, I believe. The best part, as a former cubicle dweller, is watching the preggo women get 6 months off with the employers having to hold their jobs available, taking the money and then quitting after the six months of sitting on their asses has expired.

Solid State Vittles: Whatever, subby, I can go for almost TWICE that long.

djkutch: Solid State Vittles: Whatever, subby, I can go for almost TWICE that long.

HAHA! I'm a member of the Minute Club.

If you two can do the deed in a minute, then gimme your girlfriends' names.

They'll think I'm a GOD.

I, a single male, have full custody of my 3 year old and...

parental leave is retarded.

/wish she would get a job so I could get get child support

Solid State Vittles: Whatever, subby, I can go for almost TWICE that long.

How you doin' stallion?

/wink

Ugh, babies. They're like hairless cats, but at least cats have the decency to shiat in a box.

Total threadjack.
The USGS has just agreed to foot the bill (w/ stipend) for #1's postgrad to Phd, in science! And I am jack elated. I took off thirty years to raise my kids. #2 just got his bacc. Does anyone need their lawn mown?

//Yep, I'm tellin' everyone
//I'm sure I cost the taxpayers of the good ol' USA a half hour of overtime bendin' the ear of my mailman
//Who is really, really cool, else operating under deep cover

Neither I nor my wife got any time off when my son was born. Zip. Zero. Nada.

To be fair, my wife had only been with her employer 13 years and I with mine 14, so it's not like we'd actually earned anything.

She decided to quit and be a stay at home mom.

Best decision evar.

The Icelander: Employees:

I mock you.

I mock your business casual attire.

I mock your ID badges.

I mock your paid time off.

I mock you being controlled by someone else.

I mock you.

Sincerely,
A self-employed person.

\P.S. - MOCK.

Does self employment come with the self-importance and douchebaggery?

...cuz I'm pretty big on myself as it is, and you seem to have the douchebag angle locked up already. I wouldn't want to waste my time.

I asked to take all my vacation at once. My boss asked "Why?" and I answered "because I have it and it would be nice to have two weeks where I get paid but don't have to actually get dressed, and I have sick time incase I get sick and if someone dies I have that thing were I can take time off." She said, "Can't. Company can't let you have that much time off at once." I said, "Two women in our department got pregnant last year and were gone for over a month. If they can have that much time off, then damnit, I should get two weeks off all in one sitting."

If women can take time off for childbirth, then why the fark can't non-parents take that much time off?

Chelsea Clinton Is Carrot Top's Lost Twin: The Icelander: Employees:

I mock you.

I mock your business casual attire.

I mock your ID badges.

I mock your paid time off.

I mock you being controlled by someone else.

I mock you.

Sincerely,
A self-employed person.

\P.S. - MOCK.

Amen!!!!

/self employment is the ONLY way to go!

I actually considered self employement last year when I was laid off of my last job. I had an interview for a company that was hiring for window washers. I figured I could wash windows while going back to school. Found out that it wasn't business windows it was finding people who would pay to have their windows washed at home. Found out how much they charged and how much they paid their employees I said "Fark that, I'll skip the company and find the work myself and set my own hours." Even figured out that I could pimp out the work corner Mexicans for cheap ass labor to maximize my profits. Too bad I was too lazy to actually execute my plan.

tudorgurl

...I'm the primary breadwinner...

Oh well...at least I get breaks and summers off.

Ouch

fusillade762: You breeders need to chill. You have options. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

I know you're probably a troll, but this might help you save some cash!

Link (new window)

I told my boss we were having a baby and she laid me off on the spot. I love people.

Hey subdouche, the vast majority of work involved in having a kid comes after pregnancy.

/on average, Dad pays most of the money, for example

Note to anyone in the US - if you plan on having kids and want time off, get a job where you're covered by the Family Medical Leave act.

Under the FMLA you can take up to 12 weeks unpaid leave a year for stuff like birth of a child, adoption, caring for an ill family member, etc, and the company can't complain or fire you for it, unless they can prove you're faking it. Usually if you want the days paid, you can burn vacation or sick days during that time.
I took off an intermittent 6-8 weeks when my daughter was born last year and got paid for most of it - of course I saved as many vacation days as I could until her birth, and I had almost 4.5 years of sick days saved up.

At least with a pregnancy you have 6+ months of planning time to save up. You're sort of screwed with a sudden illness or injury.

The Icelander: Employees:

I mock you.

I mock your business casual attire.

I mock your ID badges.

I mock your paid time off.

I mock you being controlled by someone else.

I mock you.

Sincerely,
A self-employed person.

\P.S. - MOCK.

How's your pension plan coming along?

I8B4U: fusillade762: You breeders need to chill. You have options. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

I know you're probably a troll, but this might help you save some cash!

Link (new window)

Why did I click that?

/I want that 30 seconds back, goddammit!

LUXURY!

Not to cry "poor me" but here goes... For kid #1 I could only take 2 weeks off. Kid #2 I was between jobs and that's the ONLY reason I could spend any time worth a flip. Kid #3 I could only take 1 week off, even despite the fact that he was hospitalized for a while due to breathing problems.

With the exception of #3 I wasn't worried about the kids, I wanted to be there to support my WIFE. I know I'd want some help and TLC nearby if I passed 6+ pounds of anything, let alone something for which I had to be the primary feeder/caregiver of afterward.

phlegmmo: But their most severe criticism relates to the gulf between the benefits received by mothers who are already well-off financially and poorer mothers. Mothers earning £50,000 a year and taking six months' leave receive nearly £8,000 from the taxpayer, whereas a mother earning £12,000 would receive £4,500.

And this is not fair? If you earn 50,000 you get less than a sixth of your salary. If you earn 12,00 you get over a third.

I think the point was that if you're making £50,000, you probably have significant savings in the bank (or could make them in the 9 months you're expecting), where as if you're making £12,000, you're possibly living paycheck to paycheck.

Bobby Teenager: Ugh, babies. They're like hairless cats, but at least cats have the decency to shiat in a box.

0/10 for hypocrisy, ya little threadshiatter.

15 seconds,,,OK ladies, does that include foreplay??