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(Daily Mail) Fail Woman smuggling thousands of dollars worth of cocaine in some golf clubs gets caught when customs asks her about her handicap and she thought they were questioning her about a disability   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 67
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67 Comments   (+0 »)


 
basemetal [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 10:44:23 PM  
She shanked it.

 
Hick [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:25:27 PM  
Fore to six years.

 
hisphrenic 2009-07-14 11:26:17 PM  
That's rough. It must've been a trap.

 
Mr. Potatoass 2009-07-14 11:26:38 PM  
She had 2 X chromosomes.

 
phlegmmo 2009-07-14 11:27:19 PM  
"We'll keep the coke; you get the shaft."

 
pudding7 [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:27:32 PM  
let's see, lame golf puns or pics of hot golfer chicks?

This thread could go either way.

 
dennysgod 2009-07-14 11:31:11 PM  
pudding7: let's see, lame golf puns or pics of hot golfer chicks?

This thread could go either way.


1.bp.blogspot.com

/it's a start

 
Oh_Enough_Already 2009-07-14 11:31:39 PM  
pudding7: let's see, lame golf puns or pics of hot golfer chicks?

This thread could go either way.


Kinda hot in a young Virginia Madsen kinda way - especially for a mug shot.

WTF is up with the pics of the coke though?

Looks like dried mushrooms or some such.

 
untaken_name 2009-07-14 11:39:39 PM  
Lesson learned: if you just answer all their questions, customs is completely powerless. If they catch you, it's because you farked up, not because they're good. Nice to know.

 
basemetal [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:39:44 PM  
thechive.com

 
mason4300 2009-07-14 11:39:54 PM  
After reading a lot of the comments below the article, I can see why Britain is the "Nanny State." It seems like quite a lot of them thrive on over-the-top sentencing and seeing others get caught doing something naughty. More or less the stereotypical "nosy neighbor" syndrome Brits always seem to be cast in.

 
D_Evans45 2009-07-14 11:42:11 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

I'd put a hole in her one... Or something along those lines.

She's pretty hot. Also, $86,000 in cop math was probably really about $7000.

But, this is quite fail.

 
wild9 2009-07-14 11:45:59 PM  
I bet she wishes that she could take a mulligan

 
basemetal [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:46:39 PM  
www.sexycoolwink.com

 
Perducci 2009-07-14 11:53:58 PM  
She should totally sue them for their horrible insensitivity towards her differently-able status.

 
huntercr 2009-07-15 12:00:35 AM  
Oh_Enough_Already: pudding7: let's see, lame golf puns or pics of hot golfer chicks?

This thread could go either way.

Kinda hot in a young Virginia Madsen kinda way - especially for a mug shot.

WTF is up with the pics of the coke though?

Looks like dried mushrooms or some such.


That's unbleached organic coke.

 
YoungSwedishBlonde 2009-07-15 12:00:47 AM  
I'd play the back 9.

 
signaljammer 2009-07-15 12:03:07 AM  
I gotta agree that the sentence is way OTT. Clearly, she was acting in a terminal node capacity. Pretty ignorant as well. Narcs usdta have a little pride when it came to the small fry. Nowadays, there sure seems to be lotsa human automatia abroad.

 
kb7rky 2009-07-15 12:03:58 AM  
Meh...I'd head right for the 19th Hole...

/eye bleach, please...
//oh, wait...nevermind

 
sprd 2009-07-15 12:04:06 AM  
Why don't they just build a solar remote controlled airplane connected by cell phone and fly their drugs where they want them to go? It seems to me the success rate would be higher and would be less work.

 
Korovyov [TotalFark] 2009-07-15 12:08:57 AM  
Hm. Not entirely clear whether she'd attracted any suspicion before the question about her handicap. Maybe she'd been nervous, maybe a dog had sniffed her luggage, maybe the questioner was aiming to give her some private practice in ball-handling skills.

If she weren't yet already hosed (say, fingered by sniffer dog) "I was visiting a friend of the family, and he wanted me to give these stupid clubs to my father. Don't know why anybody plays that boring game, but they like it." or something like that might have had a fractionally better chance of avoiding further questions.

 
Pathman 2009-07-15 12:09:49 AM  
signaljammer: I gotta agree that the sentence is way OTT. Clearly, she was acting in a terminal node capacity. Pretty ignorant as well. Narcs usdta have a little pride when it came to the small fry. Nowadays, there sure seems to be lotsa human automatia abroad.

Who taught you how to friggin talk?

img2.timeinc.net

/i kid
//and yeah - you're right

 
crazynickstyle 2009-07-15 12:11:37 AM  
i29.tinypic.com

 
buckeyebrain 2009-07-15 12:18:03 AM  
crazynickstyle

I'd hit that with my 5-wood.

 
Martstar 2009-07-15 12:24:34 AM  
I was actually gonna use that hiding spot in a book I was writing in college, except it was gonna be pot in the golf bags and the guy was gonna dress in tacky golf clothes.

/And it was going to be called Marley and Me

 
jsf4646 2009-07-15 12:35:51 AM  
buckeyebrain: crazynickstyle

I'd hit that with my 5-wood.


I'd agree, but I only have a 3-wood...

 
zekeburger 2009-07-15 12:39:32 AM  
Obviously, she's not a golfer.

/can't believe I was the first one to reference it.
//you know what I'm talking about.

 
EsteeFlwrPot 2009-07-15 12:41:51 AM  
She would be pretty if her hair didn't look like crap.

 
kb7rky 2009-07-15 12:51:14 AM  
buckeyebrain: crazynickstyle

I'd hit that with my 5-wood.


jsf4646: buckeyebrain: crazynickstyle

I'd hit that with my 5-wood.

I'd agree, but I only have a 3-wood...fark your woods...I'd drive straight down her fairway

 
thedemonwithin 2009-07-15 12:51:47 AM  
Korovyov: Hm. Not entirely clear whether she'd attracted any suspicion before the question about her handicap. Maybe she'd been nervous, maybe a dog had sniffed her luggage, maybe the questioner was aiming to give her some private practice in ball-handling skills.

It says right in the article (5th sentence) the suspicion came from an X-ray of her baggage. Reading comprehension fail.

 
kb7rky 2009-07-15 12:51:54 AM  
kb7rky: buckeyebrain: crazynickstyle

I'd hit that with my 5-wood.

jsf4646: buckeyebrain: crazynickstyle

I'd hit that with my 5-wood.

I'd agree, but I only have a 3-wood...fark your woods...I'd drive straight down her fairway


Well, how the fark did that happen?

 
StickyResin 2009-07-15 01:06:45 AM  
If you had read the article, they already knew something was up with her golf clubs because of an X-ray. They just wanted to watch her squirm before taking her down.

 
cheap_thoughts 2009-07-15 01:11:56 AM  
She could have just said "I'm a golfer" and had a funny pun along with saying she was shiatty.

 
Wolfmanjames [TotalFark] 2009-07-15 01:13:42 AM  
Been done....

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
/Hotlinked.
//My second favorite Bond novel, Right behind 'From Russia with Love.'

 
Delay 2009-07-15 01:14:29 AM  
They asked her to join a foursome.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-07-15 01:38:35 AM  
untaken_name: Lesson learned: if you just answer all their questions, customs is completely powerless. If they catch you, it's because you farked up, not because they're good. Nice to know.

Dude...did you just figure that out? That's been a given since like 1775.

 
bartink 2009-07-15 01:44:26 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

What kind of cocaine is this?

 
MyHereticWalrus 2009-07-15 01:45:36 AM  
Gyrfalcon: untaken_name: Lesson learned: if you just answer all their questions, customs is completely powerless. If they catch you, it's because you farked up, not because they're good. Nice to know.

Dude...did you just figure that out? That's been a given since like 1775.


No you horse's ass, in 1775 they still used analog X rays so smuggling was much easier to get away with. Obviously you're not a history buff.

 
enderthexenocide 2009-07-15 01:50:16 AM  
what the hell does handicap mean anyway? i've golfed many times with my father and grandfather, who are avid golfers, and i have absolutely no idea what it means. i get the idea its like the number of strokes you're allowed to take off your score, or something.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-07-15 01:54:09 AM  
bartink: What kind of cocaine is this?

The unprocessed kind.

Or: The meth kind.

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 02:17:15 AM  
Gyrfalcon: untaken_name: Lesson learned: if you just answer all their questions, customs is completely powerless. If they catch you, it's because you farked up, not because they're good. Nice to know.

Dude...did you just figure that out? That's been a given since like 1775.


No, I just try to publicly disrespect the "prying into other people's business" type government agencies whenever possible. (Yes, I realize that my description fits just about all of them now. It's a lot of work, but it's also important to have a hobby.)

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-07-15 02:37:55 AM  
Keep it simple, idiots. The less you need to explain, the better you are.

Do I need to come down there and school you idiots?

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 02:40:29 AM  
Stay Cool Babylon: Keep it simple, idiots. The less you need to explain, the better you are.

Do I need to come down there and school you idiots?


Uh, yeah? No. Wait, I mean, this is all I have. I don't know, sh-should I have more? I mean, you, what's goin' on here? You're askin' me a lot of questions here, you know. I mean, what is this? Some sort of shampoo court? I mean, I don't know. [to the rest of the line] I don't know if you're watchin' this but everybody's seeing this guy's shampooing me. [getting worked up] I mean, you know, last time I checked it was okay to travel around Europe and get as much shampoo as you wanted! You know, *what* happened to my shampoo rights?!

/Don't try to shampoo a shampooer.

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-07-15 02:41:37 AM  
fark it. I'm going to start dealing or at least muling dope. I'm tired of working for a living.

/proxy

 
FarkinNortherner [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-15 02:44:44 AM  
mason4300: After reading a lot of the comments below the article, I can see why Britain is the "Nanny State." It seems like quite a lot of them thrive on over-the-top sentencing and seeing others get caught doing something naughty. More or less the stereotypical "nosy neighbor" syndrome Brits always seem to be cast in.

The Daily Mail 'moderates' (by which I mean 'censors') comments that don't support its political standpoint. That it both rails against, and actively encourages, the heavy handed state is an irony its readers are far too stupid to pick up on.

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 02:54:30 AM  
FarkinNortherner: The Daily Mail 'moderates' (by which I mean 'censors') comments that don't support its political standpoint. That it both rails against, and actively encourages, the heavy handed state is an irony its readers are far too stupid to pick up on.

Wait, the Daily Mail is a government institution? I wasn't aware of that. Or do they just allow the government to censor their comments?
This is worrisome.

 
FarkinNortherner [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-15 03:23:41 AM  
untaken_name: Wait, the Daily Mail is a government institution? I wasn't aware of that. Or do they just allow the government to censor their comments?
This is worrisome.


What the devil are you on about ?

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 03:35:21 AM  
FarkinNortherner: untaken_name: Wait, the Daily Mail is a government institution? I wasn't aware of that. Or do they just allow the government to censor their comments?
This is worrisome.

What the devil are you on about ?


Well, I'm certain that you understand the difference between a private company regulating its own property and the government stepping in to regulate it for them, right? Right? Oh, hmmm....

 
FarkinNortherner [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-15 04:01:56 AM  
untaken_name: I'm certain that you understand the difference between a private company regulating its own property and the government stepping in to regulate it for them, right? Right? Oh, hmmm....

Yes, that's correct. Something in my post has obviously confused you, but I'm at a loss as to what.

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 04:19:04 AM  
FarkinNortherner: untaken_name: I'm certain that you understand the difference between a private company regulating its own property and the government stepping in to regulate it for them, right? Right? Oh, hmmm....

Yes, that's correct. Something in my post has obviously confused you, but I'm at a loss as to what.


Obviously. It's your equating the deletion of comments on their own site that they pay for to government censorship, and the insinuation that to be against the latter, one must not engage in the former. That's pretty much it, right there.

 
FarkinNortherner [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-15 04:29:04 AM  
untaken_name: It's your equating the deletion of comments on their own site that they pay for to government censorship, and the insinuation that to be against the latter, one must not engage in the former.

I did not make any such equation or insinuation.

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 04:40:59 AM  
FarkinNortherner: untaken_name: It's your equating the deletion of comments on their own site that they pay for to government censorship, and the insinuation that to be against the latter, one must not engage in the former.

I did not make any such equation or insinuation.


"The Daily Mail 'moderates' (by which I mean 'censors') comments that don't support its political standpoint. That it both rails against, and actively encourages, the heavy handed state is an irony its readers are far too stupid to pick up on."

OK. Or is the comment moderation part not supposed to be your example of encouraging a heavy-handed state? If not, why was it included?

 
Lumoclear 2009-07-15 05:06:09 AM  
Well if you ask me, most golfers all have a massive handicap.

None of the golfers I play with can count above 4.

 
Pert 2009-07-15 05:39:37 AM  
I'd putt it in her hole.

/has this been done yet?
//in the thread, rather than reality....

 
FarkinNortherner [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-15 05:58:49 AM  
untaken_name: OK. Or is the comment moderation part not supposed to be your example of encouraging a heavy-handed state? If not, why was it included?

You've misconstrued my intent entirely. I'll pick this to pieces:

mason4300: After reading a lot of the comments below the article, I can see why Britain is the "Nanny State." It seems like quite a lot of them thrive on over-the-top sentencing and seeing others get caught doing something naughty.

FarkinNortherner: The Daily Mail 'moderates' (by which I mean 'censors') comments that don't support its political standpoint.

Expansion: The Daily Mail, the most right wing of mainstream British newspapers, supports a hang 'em and flog 'em approach to law and order. Comments that do not support over-the-top sentencing and seeing others get caught doing something naughty do not make the cut. Therefore it cannot be seen as representative of anything other than its own editorial line.

FarkinNortherner: it both rails against, and actively encourages, the heavy handed state

Expansion:
The newspaper supports heavy handed state action such as lengthy sentences for minor crimes, the epitome of 'nanny knows best' yet, in other articles, protests the supposedly overbearing nature of the 'nanny state'.

FarkinNortherner: is an irony its readers are far too stupid to pick up on.

Expansion:
I think this bit speaks for itself.

I feel that ample effort has now been expended on a comment that could have been summed up as 'don't believe everything you read in the papers'

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 06:07:33 AM  
FarkinNortherner:
stuff redacted
I feel that ample effort has now been expended on a comment that could have been summed up as 'don't believe everything you read in the papers'


It would have been clearer if you had not included the moderation bit, or qualified the "supports the heavy-handed state" bit. You probably expected everyone to be familiar with the politics of the Daily Mail, but not everyone is.
Incidentally, why would a paper not represent its own editorial line? I know there's much ballyhoo made about "neutral presses", but does anyone really believe in the fiction of "neutrality?"

 
skodabunny 2009-07-15 07:22:43 AM  
@untaken_name

No. How you managed to infer any of that is quite remarkable. You read what you wanted to read as it allowed you to patronise. FarkinNortherner didn't confuse me, or anyone else by this. Just you. And that should tell you something very important. I hope you can work it out.

/see where your shiattiness gets you?

 
untaken_name 2009-07-15 07:48:07 AM  
skodabunny: @untaken_name

No. How you managed to infer any of that is quite remarkable. You read what you wanted to read as it allowed you to patronise. FarkinNortherner didn't confuse me, or anyone else by this. Just you. And that should tell you something very important. I hope you can work it out.

/see where your shiattiness gets you?


*MY* shiattiness? I see, so he can call all Daily Mail readers stupid and you don't consider that shiattiness? That says quite a bit about you. I do hope you can manage to somehow work out what. And yes, I see what my "shiattiness" gets me, a pathetic attempt at an insult. Oh noes! I must kill myself now because skodabunny doesn't agree with me! It's the end of the world! You're so very important to me, skodabunny, that your disapproval instantly causes me to change my entire life, nay, my very inner being itself, to conform to your wishes. Oh, wait, no, it doesn't. IOW, FOAD, DIAF, EABD, YHBT, and HAND.

 
vudukungfu 2009-07-15 07:58:25 AM  
bartink: What kind of cocaine is this?

All the cocaine I've ever seen in movies was white.

 
Evilmogwai 2009-07-15 10:51:12 AM  
FarkinNortherner: The Daily Mail 'moderates' (by which I mean 'censors') comments that don't support its political standpoint. That it both rails against, and actively encourages, the heavy handed state is an irony its readers are far too stupid to pick up on.

I've noticed the same thing. Everytime I try to comment it gets rejected by their moderators.

 
lordaction 2009-07-15 11:32:29 AM  
A kilo is worth 100K now?

I think it is more like 15-20K (as noted here for you puritans).

Link

 
CocoonMaN 2009-07-15 11:49:24 AM  
All around the world today. The kilo is the measure.

Kilo is a thousand grams, it's easy to remember.

 
Clan Xpy 2009-07-15 12:06:19 PM  
CocoonMaN: All around the world today. The kilo is the measure.

Kilo is a thousand grams, it's easy to remember.


Stay away from the fishscale kids.

 
Grand Poohbah [TotalFark] 2009-07-15 05:14:33 PM  
Clan Xpy: CocoonMaN: All around the world today. The kilo is the measure.

Kilo is a thousand grams, it's easy to remember.

Stay away from the fishscale kids.


Coke buyers, some be liars
therefore, you check for wires
dedicated dealers, during holidays we give 'em lighters

 
Grand Poohbah [TotalFark] 2009-07-15 05:18:16 PM  
vudukungfu: bartink: What kind of cocaine is this?

All the cocaine I've ever seen in movies was white.


Sotomayor isn't even on the court yet and already the white coke can't catch a break.

 
burgle23 2009-07-15 05:56:15 PM  
That was a sweet hole!
I hit my seven iron in the bunker, smacked it hard and put it right next to the hole, from there i just gave it a tap.
/here all week
//try the veal.
///tap. tap. tap.

 
Chinchillazilla [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-15 11:47:58 PM  
kb7rky: Well, how the fark did that happen?

Pretty sure that if the first word after italics is filtered, it gets smushed in with the previous line. It's happened to me several times.

 
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