"Dis is how ve practice safe sex in Germany."

Why must our suits remind us that you're the thin one?

"Hurry up with that damn laxative! If I fart one more time, we'll have a containment breach!"

Are you ready to perform the Venereal Disease test for (insert least favorite TotalFarker here)?

Are you sure this is how that guy on Futurama got started?

OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU

Someone farted in my tube.

Hey, are you going to the Farter's Anonymous meeting tonight?

Oh my god, we're doing Michael Jackson's tox screen but we're only wearing this much protection?

Oh, that red liquid I gave you in a bottle, whatever you do, do not turn it sideways, OK, Susan? We'd die within seconds! Susan?...

Damn! Paris Hilton's vaginal swab samples are penetrating this suit!

/there, it's been done now.

You may be a black belt, but you are no yellow suit, Helen! Enlightenment takes discipline!

Ever have that "not so fresh" feeling?

Boy in the Plastic Bubble 2: Electric Boogaloo

The unwashed potato is great farking for the anal fetishist as it has so many brown eyes.

Little known German feminist New Wave band "Der Atomzeitalter Brustwarzen" decides to jump on the 80's revival in spite of Helwig's advanced Parkinson's and Inta's painful bloating.

Oh HAHA Tom. The old "oxygen emitting bacteria in the haz-mat suit" never get's old does it? Screw you.

It was at that point that Magda had just about enough of Thea's little boatie noises.

"It's dividing..."

"In a vacuum, bombarded by electrons? It shouldn't even be alive!"

"If you don't stop shaking that it's gonna .... AAAHHHHH"

Butterbodies

Who farted, y'all?

"The vomit just keeps coming... it wont stop... it just wont stop..."

-me looking at the pics

Possibly infected 6000 people with dirty needles? Pffffft!

"Nice try, but in this case, "whoever smelt it, dealt it" DOES apply..."

Wait wait! Have ye got a 27B/6?

Does this spacesuit make my ass look fat?

We're done with the control hat phase of the experiment.
It's time to put on our pyramid hats.

"So this is...sample 12? Christ, Jane. How many guys DO you fark a week?"

"Mary, if you say that line one more time "She who controls the Spice controls the Universe!", I am gonna take this vial of AIDS tainted blood and pour it in your suit."

Blond not understanding that the growth agar gel is supposed to stay stuck to the side of the culture bottle.

From the new JJ Abrahms film "Cloverfield 2: Trekking my Alias on an Impossible Mission to the Fringe. Here we see Barbara Eden and Jane Curtin assembling the Round Red Thing that will take our protagonists back in time to stop an alien from releasing a Huge Tom Cruise monster on New York, in a bid to halt the invasion of Xenu. Not Pictured: Carrot Top as the Red Round Thing.

Put the damn bottle down. Oh great now I have to go to the bathroom.

"It's more likely than I thought."

Quit doing that...we'll wind up as a caption contest on Fark...

Ewww. Did you fart? Oh, wait...

"If you make one more fart joke I swear to God there will be Ebola drenched glass shards shoved in your face so hard you'll be picking them out for the next 20 years."

No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Panetta squealed, Cheney is in full cya mode and nobody has heard from Robot Nixon in three weeks. I think it's time to pull the plug on the ninety three new strains.

Vy does she getz to shaken and moven ze blood plazmen?

I have ze existential moment, but I cheerz upzie now. Cause, I jus realvise, ve're the Katzengammer Kidz - of ze AIDS!

Eine Minute Olga, ich only have four more slides to go, dann wir can practice für our Kraftwerk cover band.

We need more blue to make Purple Drank!

"If you need me, I'll be in my lab."

Martha Stuart's researches determines you can clean rusr from metal only a grapefruit and a decorative toothpick.

"No matter how many times you do it, reversing the air hose in my suit isn't ... wait, that's my sewage line you *blurgh*"

"Jesus, how many times do I have to tell you... it's not a snow globe."

"this would have made a better photoshop thread"

These pregnancy tests are getting harder and harder.

Does this giant inflated yellow trash bag suit make my ass look fat?

"Beginning agitation of specimen 27."

It had been a long day in the lab at the Center for Disease control in Atlanta, GA. More specifically, it had been a long month for Drs. Heidi Schloss and Olga Von Beuren in the Airborne Bacteria isolation tank. They had been assigned to examine specimens from several villages in South-East Asia that had fallen outside the bounds of normal diseases. No-one seemed to know what it was, only that it was highly communicable, transmitted by coughing, and was 98% lethal. Heidi and Olga had been coming in for the past 26 days and examining a new sample each day, only to find that the disease was not only unaffected by common antibiotics, but seemed resistant to chemicals, heat, and radiation. In fact, the only treatment that seemed to affect it at all was agitation.

In other words, picking the damn thing up and shaking it to death.

"Thirty seconds," said Olga, shaking the bottle fiercely.

Heidi sat impassively at her microscope, waiting to observe the reaction. There was no way to tell whether the sample had been completely eliminated except to examine the bottle under the microscope, which, of course, had to wait for Olga to finish shaking it.

Heidi's mind began to wander as she sat, going back to the locker rooms this morning. Usually, Heidi arrived long before Olga, and was scrubbed and suited up a good 15 minutes before her. This time, however, the commuter train had been late ("These Americans have no idea how to run a light rail system" she mused, thinking back to the impeccably reliable commuter train at her hometown on the banks of the Bodensee), and she had arrived a little after Olga.
Heidi had never seen Olga outside of the lab, and thus had no idea what she looked like outside of the inflatable containment suit that all researchers in the isolation tanks wore. As Heidi had been getting changed into her lab wear this morning, though, she had been surprised by a beautiful, buxom Valkyrie of a woman coming out of the showers, who just happened to have Olga's face.

She kept in shape, it seems.

Olga had seemed as surprised as her to encounter Heidi in the locker room, and had struck up a conversation as she toweled off. It had been all Heidi could do to keep from staring like a teenager. Before today, Heidi never would have thought herself to have these thoughts, these. . . urges, but now, sitting in the lab, sensing Olga's presence behind her, she found it hard not to think of the blonde woman's shapely curves, her thighs...her erect nipp-

"Agitation complete."

Heidi let out a sigh and reached for the bottle. As Olga handed it to her, their gloved hands grazed for a moment, and Heidi felt an electric shiver run down her spine. It was going to be a very long day.

Mom, if you were in a scheisse video, you'd tell me right?

Wait, what do you mean Bill from human resources had the herp?

Die_ Ubermensch: "Beginning agitation of specimen 27."

/

ltdanman44: "this would have made a better photoshop thread"

I submitted this as a photoshop thread so I'm... you know the rest.

/+1

White science is still no closer to finding the hidden allures of Kool-Aid.

A scene from the remake of "They Saved Hitler's Brain".

possible titles:

Before and After Science
Julie with... [shakey container?]
Cindy Tells Me you're fat.

Woman on left: "So i take my husbands 'sleeve of wizard' and I shake it like this"

Woman on right: "madam, i am pretty sure you're doing it wrong."

Woman on left: "oh yeah? is that so? b-b-b-but my husband tells me he likes it!"

right: "it is so. he lies."

left: "omg wtf that bastard!" [smashes vile/container in anger]

right: "oh no!"

left: "Oh No!!!"

Kool-Aid Man [crashes through wall]:
"OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

"But if this is cranberry juice, what did I drink with my lunch?"

Ms. Kupo A. Moogle and Kweh W. Chocobo try to figure out how Final Fantasy X-2 was made. It is expected to take years of research and the tons of Kupo nuts and Gysahl Greens needed to feed the scientists are expected to run out within the month.

"Welcome to the kitchen of the future!"

Thought Bubble: Those Biatches on CIS Las Vegas don't have to wear this garb. I thought I could dress hot.

"I warned you about the burritos, Mary!"

"Ok, we drank all of those, when do we start seeing things?"

In Other News, Federal Funding for the CDC was cut further today, Memo states: Use items found under kitchen sink for HAZMAT Suits...

Woman sitting: :Biatch stole my bottle!