c) Help rob the bank.

/answer is always (c)

/too scared to not approve

repeat: my trackball is gone. cant pick up calls, answer emails, or texts. so dont send them please.

Pick up calls? It's the green button on the left.

cant figure out how to call work without a trackball... police just arrived. maybe theyll let me go now.

Dial the number maybe? Works fine on my blackberry. No trackball needed.

xenophon10k: Dial the number maybe? Works fine on my blackberry. No trackball needed.

Clicked the link and saw "Woman twitters..." and that answered all those questions for me.

Isn't the answer always c) ?

Why would I stop to post to twitter when I'm in the middle or robbing a bank?

/DNRTFA

People that use twitter incessantly are inherently stupid, so this makes perfect sense.

to serve and protect the banking and insurance industry.

If you're at a bank call the cops, if it's your house being robbed try twitter...

You're in the middle of a bank robbery, do you a)call the cops or b)post about it on Twitter?


"Okay, money is coming out now."

/oblig

xenophon10k: Dial the number maybe? Works fine on my blackberry. No trackball needed.

I've had a job where I couldn't easily reach my bosses without looking up their numbers. I don't dial many calls from anything but my phone, and I dial those by name.

Yes, I know of workarounds for my phone, but maybe she couldn't figure out how to get to the name without the trackball?

NEWS FLASH: Women glued to their phones are idiots.

farking twe-tards.

I assume the "FAIL" is for Twitter's existence amirite?

The bank has a panic button wired to the police. It's already been pressed. The doors of the bank have automatically locked.

Other than browse for pr0n, what is there to do?

/ Or post the story on Fark, obviously.

but...but...she HAD to let her bff jill know wtf was up...right guys?
/right?
//is mildly amused at the "get a life, buddy" comment at the bottom of TFA

Shenanigans??

Sin_City_Superhero: /oblig

I've done that.

It's pretty much the only reason I use twitter.. if I can't annoy people, what's the point of it?

The sad thing is that this would have been satire a few years ago...

YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Personally, I feel multiple choice exams should be banned. Instead, all exams should be short answer and essays. Everybody from Pro athletes to the President of the United States to garbage men write three-page papers about the history of earthquakes.

Tatsuma, can you please tell us the status of the robbery?. All my Twitter channels are clogged.

davidphogan: Yes, I know of workarounds for my phone, but maybe she couldn't figure out how to get to the name without the trackball?

Well then you simply dial 0 for an operator and kindly ask her the number for 9-1-1. Duh.

/Couldn't find Simpsons pic.

You're in the middle of a bank robbery, do you a)call the cops b) ??? or c) post about it on Twitter?

/Fixed that for us

I can see this gal in the future

"I'm at the subway, some guy behind me is annoyed as I'm blocking traffic...

Oh now I've just been pushed in front of a train..it's coming awful fast...

Ok like here I am pressed up against the glass the engineer is just totally staring at me, like I wasn't wearing make up or something..

now the train stopped suddenly I'm being projected out of an overpass down to the street

wow the ground was hard, lot of traffic today, I'm not sure why that guy in the taxi couldn't just go around me, he hit my arm and ran over my legs

ok because my arm's broken I have to use one arm, it's very painful, but getting up now

oh hit by another car, this time I'm on the hood...

And it goes on from there...

PumpUpDaFark: Tatsuma, can you please tell us the status of the robbery?. All my Twitter channels are clogged.

At first I was like :|
But then I was like :D

davidphogan: xenophon10k: Dial the number maybe? Works fine on my blackberry. No trackball needed.

I've had a job where I couldn't easily reach my bosses without looking up their numbers. I don't dial many calls from anything but my phone, and I dial those by name.

Yes, I know of workarounds for my phone, but maybe she couldn't figure out how to get to the name without the trackball?

I'm gonna guess the number she wanted was 911

I don't c what subby did there.

Like that total farking moron Perez Hilton repeatedly Twittering for someone to call the police for him after he was physically assaulted.

Ponzholio: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Apparently not...

lol...but this is FARK, the rules are different here.

Ok, Money is coming out.

YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Yes. subby is a noob or a tard.

/don't mess with the memes

Soooo...why he was twittering is a question that has already been asked here. Leaving:

Who was he twittering to? Which of you Farkers will admit you are followers of this moran?

Psycoholic_Slag: Yes. subby is a noob or a tard.

what's this "or" stuff?!

/AND1!!1

Ponzholio: Apparently not...

That is the worst fake professor note ever. Aside from the obvious grammar issues and typos in the "professor's" email, scantrons never come back with a handwritten score-- the whole point is that they're SCANNED. Christ.

I drunk what: Psycoholic_Slag: Yes. subby is a noob or a tard.

what's this "or" stuff?!

/AND1!!1

Never leave a man behind, and look out for the dye pack.

Forced Perspective: Ponzholio: Apparently not...

That is the worst fake professor note ever. Aside from the obvious grammar issues and typos in the "professor's" email, scantrons never come back with a handwritten score-- the whole point is that they're SCANNED. Christ.

Lots of my teachers would write the final grade on the Scantron with a red pen. In fact, I don't remember ever getting a test back when they DIDN'T do that. I still think it's fake...but I also think you're a tool!

Forced Perspective: Ponzholio: Apparently not...

That is the worst fake professor note ever. Aside from the obvious grammar issues and typos in the "professor's" email, scantrons never come back with a handwritten score-- the whole point is that they're SCANNED. Christ.Yeah, and no issues at all with the fact that the guy's SSN is on there for the world to see. Anyone have the ability to run a social and see if 203-21-5883 actually goes with that name? :p

Forced Perspective
Ponzholio: Apparently not...

That is the worst fake professor note ever. Aside from the obvious grammar issues and typos in the "professor's" email, scantrons never come back with a handwritten score-- the whole point is that they're SCANNED. Christ.

Actually, my teachers handwrote the scores on ours quite frequently. And sometime they wouldn't even run the scantron through the machine but still mark them by hand.

Ponzholio: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Apparently not...

I had a prof in college who ranted for fifteen minutes before passing out the final exam (175 multiple-choice questions) about how annoyed he was about the fact that people failed to pay attention to the instructions he gave on papers (he would dictate the page count, font, size, formatting) throughout the semester. He then handed out the final exam.

Two minutes after we opened the exam booklets, I turned mine in and left the classroom.

His instructions were to answer the first and last questions only.

Psycoholic_Slag: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Yes. subby is a noob or a tard.

/don't mess with the memes

But at least they got their fail tag right!

Twitter just seems like a tarted-up IRC to me, only you have to restrict your bibble-bibble to 240 characters or so. One of the dumbest fads ever.

I don't twitter, but if I did, I'd only do it while taking a dump.

Okay, here it comes...
Damn...
Gonna pop a blood-vessel here...
Ahhh, there she goes!
'Nother one on the way!
Ensign, load torpedo tube #2!
Fire when ready! Aye, aye, sir!
You sank my battleship!
...Man, did I have goulash last night?
Crack a window. Eyes are burning. Where's the Tucks?
OH NOEZ! Anybody know the number of a good 24-hour plumbing service?

Shakespeare's Monkey: Never leave a man behind, and look out for the dye pack.

Such a great flick.

/approves

wage0048: Ponzholio: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Apparently not...

I had a prof in college who ranted for fifteen minutes before passing out the final exam (175 multiple-choice questions) about how annoyed he was about the fact that people failed to pay attention to the instructions he gave on papers (he would dictate the page count, font, size, formatting) throughout the semester. He then handed out the final exam.

Two minutes after we opened the exam booklets, I turned mine in and left the classroom.

His instructions were to answer the first and last questions only.

My 3rd grade teacher did something similar with a fill in the blank form. The very first instruction was, "Write your name in the name field, and then put your pencil down. Ignore the rest of this test."

I was the only kid in the class to do it correctly. Then again, we were bunch of 8 year olds in public school.

/I only have a grasp of grammar because they stuck me in an ESL class for half of 7th grade.

Sigh, just another glaring reason to have a New York tag.

Amberwind: wage0048: Ponzholio: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Apparently not...

I had a prof in college who ranted for fifteen minutes before passing out the final exam (175 multiple-choice questions) about how annoyed he was about the fact that people failed to pay attention to the instructions he gave on papers (he would dictate the page count, font, size, formatting) throughout the semester. He then handed out the final exam.

Two minutes after we opened the exam booklets, I turned mine in and left the classroom.

His instructions were to answer the first and last questions only.

My 3rd grade teacher did something similar with a fill in the blank form. The very first instruction was, "Write your name in the name field, and then put your pencil down. Ignore the rest of this test."

I was the only kid in the class to do it correctly. Then again, we were bunch of 8 year olds in public school.

/I only have a grasp of grammar because they stuck me in an ESL class for half of 7th grade.

Yeah, we had to do something like that in scouts, just to see how well we could follow directions.

I loved this tweet.
they totally got the guy. cop said he was lazy. walked right into several Penn station security cams. #fail

If the guy robbed the bank without a weapon or mask, would the other people know there was a robbery going on?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__bWk3b4RjQ

ihatedumbpeople: People that use twitter incessantly are inherently stupid, so this makes perfect sense.

Yay!

D) I dial up my satellite receiver so it will DVR the movie I've been wanting to see.

I hope twitter dies.

I choose c) talk about it on IRC (maybe I'll finally make bash.org)

Twitter me this, Twitter me that, who's afraid of losing their trackball while in a bank that is being robbed?

FarkingMonday: /approves

First time I've actually seen the tweets Perez sent. You've somehow managed to make me hate him even more. I thought he'd already hit rock bottom with my capacity for hatred, but you managed to search around the internet until you found the means to rent a drill to tunnel through the very core of the planet that serves as the setting for my hate tunnel analogy.

idsfa: I'm gonna guess the number she wanted was 911

Why? You think the bank wouldn't have alerted them? I wouldn't bother calling 911 during a bank robbery, it's redundant.

I feel like I have to point out here that neither submittard nor anybody else actually understood the article. Admittedly the writing was sub-par. The woman didn't start twittering until _after the robbery was over_. She didn't even notice it while it was occurring. She only started Twittering once the police locked the bank down and she couldn't leave to go back to work.

GIS for twitter:

The latter option will probably get you more attention.

WTF is a trackball?

davidphogan: xenophon10k: Dial the number maybe? Works fine on my blackberry. No trackball needed.

I've had a job where I couldn't easily reach my bosses without looking up their numbers. I don't dial many calls from anything but my phone, and I dial those by name.

Yes, I know of workarounds for my phone, but maybe she couldn't figure out how to get to the name without the trackball?

hmm a crackberry user that doesn't know how to use their phone, that sounds like 99.999% of them.

Control_this: D) I dial up my satellite receiver so it will DVR the movie I've been wanting to see.

That was my first thought, too.

/ruined by commercials.

C)

I'm going to go out on a limb, and use common sense and reading skills and say that those "tweets" happened after the robbery. The bank employees wouldn't let them leave until the cops arrived.

Yes, how farking retarded of her. How the hell did she, nor anyone else for that matter, not notice that a person in normal clothes, no mask, no visible gun pass a note to the teller as a silent alarm sounded to the police station? What a farking waste of a life, I cannot fathom how she did not run to assist the teller by assaulting the unknown gunman with her already broken blackberry.

Ponzholio: Amberwind: wage0048: Ponzholio: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Apparently not...

I had a prof in college who ranted for fifteen minutes before passing out the final exam (175 multiple-choice questions) about how annoyed he was about the fact that people failed to pay attention to the instructions he gave on papers (he would dictate the page count, font, size, formatting) throughout the semester. He then handed out the final exam.

Two minutes after we opened the exam booklets, I turned mine in and left the classroom.

His instructions were to answer the first and last questions only.

My 3rd grade teacher did something similar with a fill in the blank form. The very first instruction was, "Write your name in the name field, and then put your pencil down. Ignore the rest of this test."

I was the only kid in the class to do it correctly. Then again, we were bunch of 8 year olds in public school.

/I only have a grasp of grammar because they stuck me in an ESL class for half of 7th grade.

Yeah, we had to do something like that in scouts, just to see how well we could follow directions.

A manager gave us one of those and it had instructions like "recite the alphabet backwards" "turnaroud 3 times" etc in it. The last item on the list says "please only do task 1".

Used it as a 'teamwork building' exercise. the scary thing was that pretty much all of management didn't read to the end before starting the tasks.

Of course I read the thing at the top that said "read this entire page before doing anything" and skipped straight to the bottom item rather than wasting time. She didn't like that.

Is the answer Jesus?

The answer should always be Jesus.

punto: WTF is a trackball?

Probably the wheely component on the Pearl model. Operates just like a trackball mouse.

Ponzholio: Amberwind: wage0048: Ponzholio: YesItsTom: Isn't the answer always c) ?

Apparently not...

I had a prof in college who ranted for fifteen minutes before passing out the final exam (175 multiple-choice questions) about how annoyed he was about the fact that people failed to pay attention to the instructions he gave on papers (he would dictate the page count, font, size, formatting) throughout the semester. He then handed out the final exam.

Two minutes after we opened the exam booklets, I turned mine in and left the classroom.

His instructions were to answer the first and last questions only.

My 3rd grade teacher did something similar with a fill in the blank form. The very first instruction was, "Write your name in the name field, and then put your pencil down. Ignore the rest of this test."

I was the only kid in the class to do it correctly. Then again, we were bunch of 8 year olds in public school.

/I only have a grasp of grammar because they stuck me in an ESL class for half of 7th grade.

Yeah, we had to do something like that in scouts, just to see how well we could follow directions.

was the scout test along the lines of "smile and pretend you are in your happy place, and don't tell your parents?"