Andrea Yates agrees.

Actually, falls will kill your children. Bathtubs will just be their watery grave.

Indeed.

Use a hose then. Works just as well.

Andrea Yates agrees.

Tickets! Let me see your Tickets please!

Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom: Indeed.


Damn it...you beat me to the punch.

Looks like my childhood fears of the 'tub drain were justified.

The Decider: Andrea Yates agrees.

Tickets! Let me see your Tickets please!

Tickets? I'm the f*cking conductor. All aboooooooooooooard!

I blame gravity and lack of friction. Clearly the only options are to live in outer space with lots of duct tape. Why do the fundemental forces hate your children??

Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom kudos on the Ghostbusters reference.

/the weak force gives your children cancer!

Yeah if you drop them from high enough.

OMG! Being alive is dangerous!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

/Carlin, "F*ck the children!"

This fails to scare me.

Now that skit from the Carol Burnett show, with the shark coming up the drain and eating the woman enjoying a bubble bath... that scared me.

Media, please to scare us with the dangers of sharks in the tub.

Thx,

-Sticky

brynthian: I blame gravity and lack of friction. Clearly the only options are to live in outer space with lots of duct tape. Why do the fundemental forces hate your children??

Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom kudos on the Ghostbusters reference.

/the weak force gives your children cancer!

The 2nd law of thermodynamics disproportionately applies to Muslims, so it makes sense that other elements of science apply to children.

Wanted for questioning

"Bathtubs will now kill your children "

Only if you hold them under long enough.

FTFA: That is because young children ... tend to topple forward, they have a high center of gravity, and they tend to strike their head and their face ...

I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

Slippery surface is slippery.

Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom: Indeed.

Came for Ghostbusters reference. Leaving satisfied.

Knew it all along.

Read the MSNBC article for "toilet seat smashing penis" goodness

OUCH (new window)

Fark 'em. Sink or swim, ya li'l bastards.

Install SUPPORT BARS? I know of precisely zero children under four years old who would use support bars for anything except gymnastics.

And to put this into perspective we had 130 kids (0 to 17 years) die from falls and 934 died from drowning in 2006.
Link (new window)

Only 102 died unintentionally from firearms.

Clearly we need more anti-bathtub legislation and waiting periods on water usage as falling & drowning together are 10 times worse than firearms.

Mandatory child locks on new bathtubs should be the order of the day. At least 1 hour after eating should be a law.

ZOMG THINK OF OUR CHILDRENS!

/Sick and tired of media hype.

Came here for Rugrats references, leaving disappointed...

T-Luv: Came here for Rugrats references, leaving disappointed...

Rugrats sucked

Little kids don't have far to fall. They'll survive.

/get a sticky mat for the tub and if they can't figure out how to stay up, then it's Darwin at work

the only wheel of anything I will heed.

/good idea?
//or bad idea?

Good.

Living causes dying. If the little farkers can't survive childhood, no way will they survive adulthood.

I saw a picture of a girl in a tub once. I think it put me closer to the grave.

If the little farkers can't survive childhood, no way will they survive adulthood.

brilliant!

So that's why my kids won't bathe. I thought they were half cat. Thanks for the update!

Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom: Indeed.

Thank you.

Why not? Children are far more likely to drown in their bath than be killed with a firearm and you hear "it's for the children" every time you tell someone you own guns. Hell, fire, poisoning, and plain falling on their asses are all more dangerous to kids than guns are.

Shakespeare's Monkey: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

Hahah... where my band practices, there is a bucket like that in the bathroom. Unfortunately, that sticker must have been put on with the strongest glue ever made, as I can not make it budge for my collection. :/

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Shakespeare's Monkey: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

"HEED! PANTS! NOW!!"

rFarke: Read the MSNBC article for "toilet seat smashing penis" goodness

FTA: "Last year, a study revealed a high number of injuries from toilet seats falling on the penises of unsuspecting toddlers."

I almost wet myself laughing while picturing someone trying to pee while they DID suspect the toilet seat would come crashing down to mutilate their penis at any moment. Who actually suspects this? Those vicious, sneaky toilet seats...

Heard this on talk-radio last night and immediately thought of Fark. Everybody Panic!!!

My ex-husband must have been afraid that bathtubs would kill him, too...and showers...and wash cloths for the occasional "ho bath".

/you get the idea
//big reason why he's an ex
///still a fat, nasty toerag

FTFA: "...said manufacturers should use more slip-resistant materials."

We'll have a new law governing the materials used to make bathtubs in about 6 months. Say goodbye to a nice relaxing bath and say hello to sandpaper wounds on your naughty bits.

Well I guess it is the lawn sprinkler and a bar of soap.

/is gonna be a biatch in winter

bgddy24601: the only wheel of anything I will heed.

/good idea?
//or bad idea?

I see I wasn't the only one.

"Wheel of Fearmongering, turn turn turn.
Tell us the object that we should spurn."

omris: rFarke: Read the MSNBC article for "toilet seat smashing penis" goodness

FTA: "Last year, a study revealed a high number of injuries from toilet seats falling on the penises of unsuspecting toddlers."

I almost wet myself laughing while picturing someone trying to pee while they DID suspect the toilet seat would come crashing down to mutilate their penis at any moment. Who actually suspects this? Those vicious, sneaky toilet seats...

oh we all suspect this.
Even though most of the time they do no more than cut through your stream (and spray you and the room in in progress) toilet seats cannot be trusted.. ESPECIALLY the ones with the fuzzy covers.. those are like bear traps.

Cleveland in the bath tub after Peter smashes his house. "No...no....no...Ohhh."

http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/992/992079/70-bathtub_160_1244235859.jp g

/sorry couldn't paste the actual photo/

That means we should all just shower with a friend.

Natural selection starts young...

doctorguilty: bgddy24601: the only wheel of anything I will heed.

/good idea?
//or bad idea?

I see I wasn't the only one.

"Wheel of Fearmongering, turn turn turn.
Tell us the object that we should spurn."

WE WON A TRIP TO CUBA!! YAAAAAY!

Kids everywhere hail the new findings, and lobby for laws to stop parents putting them in harms way by making them take baths.

/Well the boys mainly

serpent_sky: Shakespeare's Monkey: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

Hahah... where my band practices, there is a bucket like that in the bathroom. Unfortunately, that sticker must have been put on with the strongest glue ever made, as I can not make it budge for my collection. :/

Pick this up at your local dollar store or wallmart. While you're at it, you can clean your drums with it too:

I wish there was a game show called "Wheel of Fearmongering." However, fearmongering aside, a little kid in a bath tub is like a greased pig and when my son was smaller I was really worried about him falling and smacking his head and/or face.

Millard Fillmore, unavailable for comment.

Bathtubs are actually quite dangerous, far more so than just about anything else written about.

My 2-year-old has a scar on her chin from slipping in the bathtub, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

/it was a serious injury
//she needed a kiss *and* a band-aid

Bathtubs only kill children when used by moms who talk to Jebbus through the transmitters in their heads.