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(Some Lawyer) Fail Lawyer offers $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove his client's guilt. Oops   (blogs.findlaw.com) divider line 108
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108 Comments   (+0 »)


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Tom_Slick [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:06:08 AM  
Interesting piece of law, the lawyer is a dumbass for making the statement.

/I bet the trip was made in a nice Reliant automobile.

 
seniorgato [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:21:23 AM  
No, it's brilliant... And then those people turn up missing.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-07-14 11:21:45 AM  

Lawyer offers $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove his client's guilt. Oops


Like the opposing counsel? (DRTFA)


*begins preparing Kraft Dinner*

 
bobguy64 2009-07-14 11:22:13 AM  
A lawyer turned out to be slimy?

No way!

 
jsobota 2009-07-14 11:24:07 AM  
Well obviously since they didn't shake on the bet it's invalid.

 
poorjon [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:24:07 AM  
"Your Honor, ah move that I be disbarred, for introducin' this evidence against my own cliant"

Just a simple country hyperchicken

 
mofomisfit 2009-07-14 11:24:28 AM  
Tom_Slick: Interesting piece of law, the lawyer is a dumbass for making the statement.

/I bet the trip was made in a nice Reliant automobile.


But not a real Reliant automobile, that's cruel.

 
Madbassist1 [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:24:54 AM  
Why is this green?

 
humandrive 2009-07-14 11:25:09 AM  
I doubt that Dustin Kolodziej completed the dare in that he didnot kill 4 people on the trip.

 
ne2d [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:25:10 AM  
I think this sounds a lot like Leonard v. Pepsico (new window). Still a stupid thing for the lawyer to say.

 
Burchill 2009-07-14 11:25:26 AM  
Or rather doing no such thing.

 
Biness 2009-07-14 11:25:43 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

 
DeltaXi65 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:28:22 AM  
This is funny, and the defense attorney should get clobbered. From what I recall of first year contracts, if the kid can prove that he believed the million dollar offer was legitimate - and if he can show that objectively others thought it was legitimate - he's got a 50/50 shot at winning.

Personally, I hope the kid wins. You can buy a lot of expensive dijon ketchup with a $1 million.

 
duncangonuts 2009-07-14 11:28:24 AM  
ne2d: I think this sounds a lot like Leonard v. Pepsico (new window). Still a stupid thing for the lawyer to say.

Among other claims made, Leonard claimed that a federal judge was incapable of deciding on the matter, and that instead the decision had to be made by a jury consisting of members of "the Pepsi generation," to whom the advertisement would allegedly constitute an offer

Hahaha. Awesome.

 
Ain`Soph 2009-07-14 11:28:49 AM  
ne2d: I think this sounds a lot like Leonard v. Pepsico (new window). Still a stupid thing for the lawyer to say.

Too bad he didn't win that, because you know, fark Pepsico.

 
Foolkiller 2009-07-14 11:28:50 AM  
Madbassist1: Why is this green?

It's the color of a dress.

 
Ivo Shandor 2009-07-14 11:29:12 AM  
FTA: Cheney Mason went on Dateline and offered a million dollars to anyone who could prove that his client, Nelson Ivan Serrano, was actually able to travel across two states and kill four people in the time that prosecutors had alleged.

OK, so Kolodziej managed to do the travel within the time limit. But did he also kill four people along the way? Because that takes time too. If he didn't, then the lawyer's point is still valid and he shouldn't have to pay a cent.

/passes Englebert Slaptyback a jar of Dijon ketchup

 
mofomisfit 2009-07-14 11:30:27 AM  
duncangonuts: ne2d: I think this sounds a lot like Leonard v. Pepsico (new window). Still a stupid thing for the lawyer to say.

Among other claims made, Leonard claimed that a federal judge was incapable of deciding on the matter, and that instead the decision had to be made by a jury consisting of members of "the Pepsi generation," to whom the advertisement would allegedly constitute an offer

Hahaha. Awesome.


2.bp.blogspot.com

 
Foolkiller 2009-07-14 11:31:39 AM  
This sound a lot like the Toy Yoda case.

 
medius [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:31:52 AM  
I'd be rich.

 
Tigggy 2009-07-14 11:31:55 AM  
Preeeety sure that's not how it works.

 
Nunky 2009-07-14 11:32:25 AM  
Foolkiller: Madbassist1: Why is this green?

It's the color of a dress.


That's just cruel.

 
notmtwain [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:34:08 AM  
The Dateline segment is available here: 4: a 10 hour window at about the 3:50 point.

I think he should pay. He was making a statement on a national news program intended to sway public opinion in favor of his client. Everyone had reason to take all his statements seriously. It was not an offhanded comment made over a beer bottle in a bar.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-07-14 11:35:25 AM  

Ivo Shandor


/passes Englebert Slaptyback a jar of Dijon ketchup


Merci beaucoup!


*offers Ivo Shandor a fruit roll-up*

 
humandrive 2009-07-14 11:35:42 AM  
Are you saying I can win a free toyyoda?

 
Forbidden Doughnut 2009-07-14 11:36:19 AM  
"I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer."

blogs.citypages.com

 
Pair-o-Dice 2009-07-14 11:36:48 AM  
What the hell is a 'ute'?

 
realbigfun 2009-07-14 11:36:54 AM  
A lawyer full of crap. Who would have thought that was possible?

 
desertmouse [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:36:57 AM  
That's pretty much a lesson every lawyer learns on day 1, minute 1 in school. I hope the Judge doesn't dismiss the case and teaches the moran lawyer a lesson. Not only was it stupid from a contract law perspective, it was clearly not in his client's best interests.

 
Mongo cut wood 2009-07-14 11:37:31 AM  
He asked Mason for the money, but Mason has so far refused to pay up, alleging that the challenge was a joke or hyperbole.


I wonder if he represents Casino Owners. Just saying.


If the video tape the law student made is admissible (and if I was him, I would give it to the DA), this lawyer is screwed.

 
40oz_A_Knight 2009-07-14 11:38:28 AM  
The attorney's denial of the fact that such a series of crimes was physically possible marks him as a bad lawyer unable to think more than one move ahead, and the million dollar bounty is but further evidence of this condition.

 
tuna fingers 2009-07-14 11:38:37 AM  
Foolkiller: This sound a lot like the Toy Yoda case.

Actually it doesn't. Maybe if he offered a million "doll hairs" you could make that connection, but this guy simply lied.

 
Foolkiller 2009-07-14 11:38:44 AM  
Nunky: Foolkiller: Madbassist1: Why is this green?

It's the color of a dress.

That's just cruel.


Not a real green dress.

 
LittleSmitty 2009-07-14 11:39:00 AM  
notmtwain: The Dateline segment is available here: 4: a 10 hour window at about the 3:50 point.

I think he should pay. He was making a statement on a national news program intended to sway public opinion in favor of his client. Everyone had reason to take all his statements seriously. It was not an offhanded comment made over a beer bottle in a bar.


I'm not a lawyer, and won't comment on the validity of the any claim on the $1 million, but I am willing to bet that the Attorney that made the offer sees a dramatic drop in business after his little on-air farkup

 
aagrajag 2009-07-14 11:39:03 AM  
Time to pay up, law shiat-talking-guy.

 
The Drunk IT Guy [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:42:40 AM  
Reminds me of Leonard v. Pepsico, Inc. (new window)

 
NightOwl2255 2009-07-14 11:43:45 AM  
"If we lose this game, I'll walk home"

//Jim Rooker would like to warn people to watch what they say.

 
rat_brain_flies_plane 2009-07-14 11:44:11 AM  
FTA:If you think back to your 1L contracts course, Kolodziej might actually have something along the lines of an argument here. The dare sounds suspiciously like a unilateral contract. A unilateral contract, you'll remember, is one that is offered to the population generally. The offeror can't force anyone to perform, but obligates herself to meet the terms of the agreement if anyone actually does. An offer for a reward is the best example of a unilateral contract, although dares and wagers might also qualify.

On the other hand, it's not very likely that Mason intended for anyone to take him seriously, so a judge might not really consider his statement a unilateral contract. Without knowing more about Texas contract law, I'd wager that the judge will toss the case, save Mason a million clams and give Kolodziej a lesson in real world contracts.


Uhhh... isn't MASON the one who should be receiving the lesson in "real world contracts?"

I don't think this offer was made in Imagination-Land.

Unless this is just another mass hallucination...

 
trancemission 2009-07-14 11:44:53 AM  
Forbidden Doughnut: "I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer."

"Mr. Hutz w've been in here for four hours. Do you have any evidence at all?"

"Well, Your Honor. We've plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence."

 
sotua 2009-07-14 11:45:20 AM  
Excellent use of FAIL tag.

 
howdyyall9999 2009-07-14 11:45:35 AM  
Well even if this was a binding contract, all Kolodziej did was prove that he could drive that route in the percribed time. He could not prove that the killer could on the day in question.

/lawyer math
//i hope he has to pay court costs for the frivolous lawsuit

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 11:45:53 AM  
rat_brain_flies_plane: FTA:If you think back to your 1L contracts course, Kolodziej might actually have something along the lines of an argument here. The dare sounds suspiciously like a unilateral contract. A unilateral contract, you'll remember, is one that is offered to the population generally. The offeror can't force anyone to perform, but obligates herself to meet the terms of the agreement if anyone actually does. An offer for a reward is the best example of a unilateral contract, although dares and wagers might also qualify.

On the other hand, it's not very likely that Mason intended for anyone to take him seriously, so a judge might not really consider his statement a unilateral contract. Without knowing more about Texas contract law, I'd wager that the judge will toss the case, save Mason a million clams and give Kolodziej a lesson in real world contracts.

Uhhh... isn't MASON the one who should be receiving the lesson in "real world contracts?"

I don't think this offer was made in Imagination-Land.

Unless this is just another mass hallucination...


I think that Kolodziej is not really needing a lesson. He is not out all that much if the guy doesn't pay up, but he stands to get a lot if he does. It is a simple case of expected value -- and Kolodziej seems to have a great handle on that.

 
mediablitz [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:46:09 AM  
Tom_Slick: Interesting piece of law, the lawyer is a dumbass for making the statement.

/I bet the trip was made in a nice Reliant automobile.


www.automopedia.org

It don't get no nicer y'all...

 
Shakespeare's Monkey 2009-07-14 11:47:41 AM  
FTFA: Mason just better hope that the judge in the murder trial doesn't allow the prosecution to admit Kolodziej's video into evidence.

The lawyer might weasel out of the million bucks, but his client will fry.

 
firefly212 2009-07-14 11:49:04 AM  
It seems to me that this could very reasonably be interpreted as an offer for a reward. I mean, a million dollars isn't some way-out number that nobody would take seriously, considering the gravity of the consequences. I mean, if the guy had said a Trillion, clearly that would be outlandish and crazy, but a million just isn't all that much any more, so it just doesn't seem unreasonable.

 
rat_brain_flies_plane 2009-07-14 11:50:05 AM  
howdyyall9999: //i hope he has to pay court costs for the frivolous lawsuit

I wouldn't call it frivolous? Was there reason to believe the offer was invalid?

 
Tigggy 2009-07-14 11:51:28 AM  
Forbidden Doughnut: "I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer."

Damn! Beat me to it! Was just about to post his pic.

 
neilnole [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:52:34 AM  
Shakespeare's Monkey: FTFA: Mason just better hope that the judge in the murder trial doesn't allow the prosecution to admit Kolodziej's video into evidence.

The lawyer might weasel out of the million bucks, but his client will fry.


You got that right. He's been convicted and sentenced to death for the murders.

 
JohnCarter 2009-07-14 11:53:16 AM  
Did he really have to drive the route? Couldn't it have been proven with basic mapping software, mileage, and speed limit estimates?

I meean with addresses you can plot point to point and see distance and estimated times.

Seems like a grunt in the slimy lawyers office could have done the legwork before he opened his big mouth.

 
DieselChick [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:54:09 AM  
Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

 
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