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(NYPost) Amusing Brooklyn grandma rents videotape of "Austin Powers", is shocked by new surprise ending revealing who Number Two really works for   (nypost.com) divider line 155
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155 Comments   (+0 »)


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ps69 2009-07-14 10:54:24 AM  
Dov Hikind is now demanding that we ban VHS tapes?

Dov Hikind is the same cackbag who wants to ban inclusion of gypsies, gays and others from the Holocaust memorials.

Why don't we ban that piece of garbage Dov Hikind?

 
Nem Wan 2009-07-14 10:54:26 AM  
I wonder how long ago the porn got put on the tape. I'm assuming it wasn't literally spliced but someone covered up the write-protect hole and dubbed onto the tape. Classic prank, like 20 years ago. I doubt too many people are set up to copy VHS to VHS anymore.

 
Diogenes [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 10:54:30 AM  
www.gizmodo.fr

Grandma should be shot in the head, and I know just who's up to the task.

 
degreeless 2009-07-14 10:55:03 AM  
bluraymedia.ign.com

I'll bet she was randy, baby. YEAH!

 
mytdawg 2009-07-14 10:55:07 AM  
Before it's over, she'll want One Million Dollars for the damages to her precious snowflakes that she just corrupted. Not by showing them porn but by showing them an awful pseudo comedy. She should have to pay for having bad taste. I wouldn't show that to a kid I actually liked.

 
thalidomide new and improved 2009-07-14 10:55:54 AM  
FTFA: "But Hikind said that showed "unbelievable chutzpah," and added that therapists have warned that children can suffer lasting psychological damage from exposure to pornography."

I think the Assemblyman is jewish. Or possibly has some jewish relatives or friends.

 
BenJammin 2009-07-14 10:55:58 AM  
I guess we are going to have to ban books as well.. What's to stop from sicko jackass from taping porno pictures into a book?

 
dittybopper [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 10:56:37 AM  
nobodys_goose: I still have sex over a telegraph.

TAPPITY TAP!


Wanna see my straight key?

img396.imageshack.us

Seriously, I just used the identical key to talk with a fellow in Indianapolis, IN just last night.

Last week, I used it to talk to a guy in Romania and a couple of guys in Hungary.

I honestly haven't tried to have Morse sex, a primitive form of 'sexting' using Q and Z signals and prosigns, but apparently it has been done (still trying to find the page where I read about it).

 
Sin_City_Superhero 2009-07-14 10:57:26 AM  
ihatedumbpeople:
kids being 'damaged' by porn is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

Maybe it fell on their heads?

Besides, who 'rents' Austin Powers anyway? you can buy a vhs copy for $3 at Walmart.

But then you're stuck with the movie when you're done. I think when you rent Austin Powers you are actually paying for the library to take it back when you finish. It's like a hooker...you don't pay for the sex, you pay her to leave afterwards.

 
timefishblue 2009-07-14 10:57:27 AM  
A man flashed my children while they were walking to school. I had no idea humans could be so nude.

BAN... ALL... HUMANS...!!!!

 
Hoboclown 2009-07-14 10:57:27 AM  
I've had this happen to me before. I had to watch some obscure African independent film for a college course I was taking. Blockbuster and Hollywood Video had never heard of it, so I went and got it from the local place. About 2/3 of the way through, a pretty hardcore three-way jumped in and played for about two minutes before continuing back to the movie.

Me, the video clerk, and the guy behind me in line all thought it was hilarious when I brought it up as I was returning it. I have no idea what happened to the tape after that, but hopefully they rented it to this lady.

 
MBooda 2009-07-14 10:59:02 AM  
Probably just wasn't her bag.
home.mchsi.com

 
hockeyfarker [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 10:59:15 AM  
Klein contacted her assemblyman, Dov Hikind -- and he's now demanding that local libraries ban all VHS tapes.

I know this has probably already been mentioned, but fark this guy.

 
nobodys_goose 2009-07-14 10:59:55 AM  
dittybopper: nobodys_goose: I still have sex over a telegraph.

TAPPITY TAP!

Wanna see my straight key?



Seriously, I just used the identical key to talk with a fellow in Indianapolis, IN just last night.

Last week, I used it to talk to a guy in Romania and a couple of guys in Hungary.

I honestly haven't tried to have Morse sex, a primitive form of 'sexting' using Q and Z signals and prosigns, but apparently it has been done (still trying to find the page where I read about it).


I will not contribute to your decline further. Why have another me out in the world? Make your own way, my son.

 
Yeah_Right 2009-07-14 11:00:07 AM  
BenJammin: I guess we are going to have to ban books as well.. What's to stop from sicko jackass from taping porno pictures into a book?

One could have a field day with the Dr. Seuss book "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"

 
costas 2009-07-14 11:00:53 AM  
By KIRSTEN POWERS

"Heheh, you know who we should get to report on this Austin Powers story? HEY, KIRSTEN! GET OVER HERE! We need you over at Borough Park right away!"
"But... I'm about to take a call from a source who has cast-iron proof that a top-ranking official has been selling illegal weapons to the Middle East!"
"Forget that, this is loads funnier"

 
CeroX 2009-07-14 11:02:04 AM  
Actually im surprised no one actually mentioned this:

In a library, you can find books on anatomy AND (oh my gosh!) Sexuality including (gasp!) gay and lesbian sexuallity.

BURN ALL BOOKS!

/freakin hitler wannabe

 
TheRedMonkey 2009-07-14 11:02:05 AM  
You rent/barrow a VHS you get what you deserve.

 
medius [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:02:57 AM  
Diogenes: But Hikind said that showed "unbelievable chutzpah," and added that therapists have warned that children can suffer lasting psychological damage from exposure to pornography.

That's bullshiat! I grew up just fi....maybe we should look into this.

 
RandomTux 2009-07-14 11:05:37 AM  
PonceAlyosha:
Welcome to the land of the stupid. Currently our population is you, Mrs. Hikind.


Pretty sure Dov Hikind is a "he" - Dov is a common name in Israel meaning "Bear" IIRC

 
trippdogg 2009-07-14 11:05:46 AM  
This is horrible - someone still watches Austin Powers? That movie is like a good fart - it's funny at first, but once the novelty wears off it just stinks.

 
Golden Ace [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:06:04 AM  
She's complaining about pr0n at the end of the movie, and not about the movie itself?

also austin powers and a seven year old? Not sure he would fully understand the movie... Nor should he.

 
aarond12 2009-07-14 11:07:04 AM  
Why is she showing a PG-13 movie to a 7-year-old?

 
EvilTwinSkipster 2009-07-14 11:07:22 AM  
medius: therapists have warned that children can suffer lasting psychological damage from exposure to pornography.

Yeah, right. Like we gonna listen to The Rapists view of all this crap. Rapists should be keel-hauled in jello pudding.

 
Vangor [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:07:36 AM  
Klein contacted her assemblyman, Dov Hikind -- and he's now demanding that local libraries ban all VHS tapes.

You know people can potentially write inside of books. Why not remove books from libraries to ensure children aren't possibly exposed to vulgarity or inartistic pictures of female breasts and genitalia or crudely drawn mustaches? What is my problem with mustaches? Why, the crudely drawn mustache is reminiscent of such villainy as Snidely Whiplash, who constantly glorifies bondage and sadism, what with tying attractive young women to train tracks.

But Hikind said that showed "unbelievable chutzpah," and added that therapists have warned that children can suffer lasting psychological damage from exposure to pornography.

Wait...therapists? If you're going to make an unsubstantiated and inaccurate claim you could at least use an authority with actual authority.

 
The_Primal_Janitor [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:08:22 AM  
CeroX: BURN ALL BOOKS!

I think you're on to something here. Books can also have bad words written in them, have photos inserted between pages, etc. Better get rid of them books.

/Penis

 
Shakespeare's Monkey 2009-07-14 11:09:18 AM  
www.solarnavigator.net

That was "Austin Powers, Golden Shower".

 
NeoKhan 2009-07-14 11:09:49 AM  
I understand that it is possible to alter a VHS tape to include pornography. I also understand that books can undergo a similar process.

/this slope isn't very slippery

 
The_Primal_Janitor [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:10:23 AM  
Vangor:

*shakes fist*

 
dittybopper [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:10:29 AM  
costas: By KIRSTEN POWERS

"Heheh, you know who we should get to report on this Austin Powers story? HEY, KIRSTEN! GET OVER HERE! We need you over at Borough Park right away!"
"But... I'm about to take a call from a source who has cast-iron proof that a top-ranking official has been selling illegal weapons to the Middle East!"
"Forget that, this is loads funnier"


It's about porn: They should have got Bridget Powerz to report on it.

 
old_toole 2009-07-14 11:11:33 AM  
ihatedumbpeople: kids being 'damaged' by porn is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

and yeah, go ahead and ban VHS rentals from libraries. You're only hurting yourself, everyone else has DVD players already. Besides, who 'rents' Austin Powers anyway? you can buy a vhs copy for $3 at Walmart.


Not the directors cut like Grammy got

 
Diogenes [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:12:22 AM  
medius: Diogenes: But Hikind said that showed "unbelievable chutzpah," and added that therapists have warned that children can suffer lasting psychological damage from exposure to pornography.

That's bullshiat! I grew up just fi....maybe we should look into this.


Hey, just because I can't get aroused without porn....and a ball gag, back of clothespins, and latex butt plug....

Sorry. I'll be in my bunk.

 
kendricd 2009-07-14 11:13:15 AM  
Is it wrong that the thought of VHS porn made me kind of sentimental?

Oh yeah, and I could tell it was taped over by the pixels...

 
mofomisfit 2009-07-14 11:15:35 AM  
MBooda: Probably just wasn't her bag.

You know, whoever made that missed the joke. On the Penis Pump Enlarger in the movie the speech balloon on the box read "This sort of thing IS my bag, baby!" You know, to contrast with his embarrassed protestations to the contrary.

 
Gravyguts 2009-07-14 11:15:40 AM  
Grams should be tied down and subject to german shizer videos.

 
eagles95 2009-07-14 11:17:06 AM  
Nick Nostril: nobodys_goose: I still have sex over a telegraph.

TAPPITY TAP!

--. .. --. --. .. - - -.--




Such vulgarity from you will not be tolerated...I demand the admins ban you for your NSFW dashes and dots

 
HugeMidget [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:17:34 AM  
Now, someone tell me again how those of us in flyover country are a bunch of reactionary prudes unlike the oh-so-cool denizens of the Big Apple.

/"Our Bodies, Ourselves" was GOLD back in the day before one in three girls decided to get nekkid on the intertubes.

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 11:17:53 AM  
tuna fingers: mattharvest: What's VHS?

/Seriously, I thought that they actually stopped producing any VHS devices sometime last year.

Someone hasn't been to their local library for awhile. While you can check out semi-new DVDs and CDs, you can also step right into 1976.


Depends where you live. In my town, we have a *great* selection of DVDs (rented out for a week each, max 3 at a time), including most BBC releases, Penn and Teller BS, and a selection of other videos I enjoy. We have almost as many CDs, however, those tend to be religious or holiday themed. We have 0 VHS. No room, since we have the DVDs and CDs.

 
mofomisfit 2009-07-14 11:18:46 AM  
HugeMidget: Now, someone tell me again how those of us in flyover country are a bunch of reactionary prudes unlike the oh-so-cool denizens of the Big Apple.

/"Our Bodies, Ourselves" was GOLD back in the day before one in three girls decided to get nekkid on the intertubes.


You're a bunch of prudes because you think "Our Bodies, Our Selves" is sexxay, meanwhile New Yorkers are splicing pr0n into PG-13 movies rented out by the public library.

 
Crazy Joe Davola 2009-07-14 11:19:18 AM  
Newt13: I had seen my fair share of scramble porn as a kid.

/may explain my skewed views


imgs.xkcd.com

/relevant

 
NuclearWinter 2009-07-14 11:19:29 AM  
dittybopper: nobodys_goose: I still have sex over a telegraph.

TAPPITY TAP!

Wanna see my straight key?



Seriously, I just used the identical key to talk with a fellow in Indianapolis, IN just last night.

Last week, I used it to talk to a guy in Romania and a couple of guys in Hungary.

I honestly haven't tried to have Morse sex, a primitive form of 'sexting' using Q and Z signals and prosigns, but apparently it has been done (still trying to find the page where I read about it).


I'm not into CW yet, but I'm going to guess there's a few uses of QRU QRP and QRQ involved...

/Studying with the koch method
//heh heh... koch.

 
walkerhound 2009-07-14 11:19:52 AM  
"...therapists have warned that children can suffer lasting psychological damage from exposure to pornography."

Or at least hairy palms...

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 11:20:50 AM  
mofomisfit: rented out by the public library

Pet peeve -- you don't 'rent' from the library -- rent is either the money paid in return for use of an item, or the action of paying for the item.

Libraries are free. You borrow, or check out from the library. If your library is renting out materials, they are doing it wrong.

 
asmodeus224 2009-07-14 11:21:54 AM  
Gwendolyn: Klein contacted her assemblyman, Dov Hikind -- and he's now demanding that local libraries ban all VHS tapes.

Way to over react there sport.


He initially wanted to nuke the libraries from orbit...but no one was going for that.

 
kpottruff 2009-07-14 11:23:18 AM  
Am I the only one who can see this ladies point? It comes down to the fact that they can't guarantee the tape hasn't been dubbed over whereas it's highly unlikely that a DVD would have that done. Keep the educational stuff but if people want to get a movie for enjoyment tell them to get a $30 DVD player.

Simple solution, and probably would save a library money in the long run.

 
NickelobLight 2009-07-14 11:23:46 AM  
Um.

What the hell? I mean...what the hell? She has an opportunity to go watch a movie for free,(albeit in a format two generations old). Someone pulled a prank. That's it. Do we ban toilets if a kid drops a firecracker in one at school?

Actually yeah. Everyone stop using toilets and send your turds to Esther Klein and Dov Hikind immediately. Its your way of showing support!

 
kagemaru026 [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:26:20 AM  
HOLY SHJT BALLS PORN ON A MOVIE LETS PUT EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS

 
Dawnrazor 2009-07-14 11:27:38 AM  
Uh, no, Granny, what you rented was Ed Powers: International Man in Miss Tory.

 
Squiggly_Person 2009-07-14 11:31:20 AM  
I would love to see a news outlet actually ask someone to produce material supporting their claims that pornography / nudity / sexuality can cause damage to children. It's no wonder people just assume that that's the case. They have had all these talking heads on TV and random guys in papers going back to WW2 talking about how psychologically scarring porn is without any real evidence to back any of it up.

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 11:31:56 AM  
kpottruff: Am I the only one who can see this ladies point? It comes down to the fact that they can't guarantee the tape hasn't been dubbed over whereas it's highly unlikely that a DVD would have that done. Keep the educational stuff but if people want to get a movie for enjoyment tell them to get a $30 DVD player.

Simple solution, and probably would save a library money in the long run.


I have a pen. I can write obscenities in books. I don't even have to check them out, or take them anywhere special -- I can do it right in the middle of the library, and there is nothing the library can do to guarantee it has not been done.

Keep the educational stuff but if people want to get a book for enjoyment tell them to get a $300 netbook.

 
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