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(Telegraph) Amusing Want to really piss off your neighbors? Let people land their helicopters in your back yard   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 69
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69 Comments   (+0 »)


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z_gringo [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 04:43:00 AM  
What a busybody little twat. I bet everyone on the block hates her guts.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 05:02:09 AM  
We've considered investing in a quad .50 cal to deal with the same problem here. Living off daddy's cash and acting like white trash is no way to go through life.

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 09:23:48 AM  
She needs to figure out if there are any local critters that would be endangered by the helicopter commotion. That's how my town is keeping local uberdouche Jann Wenner from building a helipad at his estate - there's bald-eagle habitat nearby. Case closed.

/you're not in the hamptons, asshat

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 09:26:25 AM  
Too bad, Grandma, kiss your neighbour's ASBO.

 
dittybopper [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 10:34:45 AM  
What if they up the ante and start letting people land their Harriers in their yard?

 
sleeping martyr [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 10:46:52 AM  
dittybopper: What if they up the ante and start letting people land their Harriers in their yard?

Something tells me that would be a bit louder than 80 decibels.

 
TheGreatZarquon [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 11:19:50 AM  
78.6 decibels? A farking vacuum cleaner is louder than that, and she'd be standing right behind it when she's using it. If she's in her house, that tiny helicopter taking off is probably no louder than someone starting an old car in her driveway.

 
URAPNIS 2009-07-14 12:07:44 PM  
I think it would really cool but what do I know.

 
ihatedumbpeople 2009-07-14 12:09:41 PM  
She should take up model rockets. And time her launches with his landings.

 
Doctor Funkenstein [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:10:07 PM  
The two-seater helicopter is owned by pilot Bo Maggs,

That's an awesome name.

 
Theaetetus 2009-07-14 12:11:49 PM  
TheGreatZarquon: 78.6 decibels? A farking vacuum cleaner is louder than that, and she'd be standing right behind it when she's using it. If she's in her house, that tiny helicopter taking off is probably no louder than someone starting an old car in her driveway.

This. Frankly, I'm impressed about a helicopter so quiet that you can easily carry on a (loud) conversation next to it.

 
Shakespeare's Monkey 2009-07-14 12:12:37 PM  
Want to make a woman scream during sex? Wipe your junk on the pillow.

 
orat-on-a-stick 2009-07-14 12:13:46 PM  
Doctor Funkenstein: The two-seater helicopter is owned by pilot Bo Maggs,

That's an awesome name.


yeah, but it's HER name...

 
mark12A 2009-07-14 12:15:44 PM  
Jealousy. Envy. I hate people. I'm gonna be *such* a recluse when I retire...

/and fly an Ultralight from my pasture

 
NetPimp 2009-07-14 12:15:52 PM  
A few years back there was a story on Fark about a guy using his helicopter to commute to and from work in a helicopter that he had in his backyard. This happened in Overland Park, KS.

There's too much money in that town.

 
Cormee [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:16:47 PM  
Doctor Funkenstein: The two-seater helicopter is owned by pilot Bo Maggs,

That's an awesome name.


Pam Pringle is a pretty cool name too.

 
PumpUpDaFark 2009-07-14 12:19:29 PM  
Bo knows helios.

 
MrSteve007 2009-07-14 12:20:19 PM  
Theaetetus: TheGreatZarquon: 78.6 decibels? A farking vacuum cleaner is louder than that, and she'd be standing right behind it when she's using it. If she's in her house, that tiny helicopter taking off is probably no louder than someone starting an old car in her driveway.

This. Frankly, I'm impressed about a helicopter so quiet that you can easily carry on a (loud) conversation next to it.


I'd wager that the noise level was taken from her house or at least property, since it is a noise ordinance issue. I'd find it very hard to imagine the rotors alone, even from a small helicopter, would be that quiet from a few feet away.

I wish I had him as a neighbor, I'd say "It's a little loud, but if you take me for a ride once a month, I won't care."

 
RoyBatty 2009-07-14 12:21:38 PM  
Plant a few tall trees and chances are that will ruin the landing spot.

 
Dwight_Yeast 2009-07-14 12:23:14 PM  
I went to St John's in Annapolis for a couple of years and they used to let the local emergency squad land its helicopter on the back campus.

Fark me, that was annoying as hell while you were trying to discuss something.

 
SnakeLee [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:24:14 PM  
My family has a big farm and there are some asshole neighbors who keep cutting down our trees so they can have a nicer view. My mom has done things like plant mulberry trees a little away from their house so birds eat the berries and then poop red all over the neighbors' cars but it's not enough. I was thinking of renting out the hill above their house for a cell phone tower to give them cancer but it's not as profitable as I hoped. Maybe this helicopter thing is the answer....

 
sxacho 2009-07-14 12:24:53 PM  
RoyBatty: Plant a few tall trees and chances are that will ruin the landing spot.

I was thinking a compressed air cannon. That couldn't be too hard to build, right?

 
MIguy [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:25:49 PM  
When I was in Germany, a couple of our pilots landed their Cobra next to a restuarant and went in for a nice lunch. The farmer who owned the land and our CO were not amused.

 
bradley547 2009-07-14 12:30:05 PM  
The neighbor should take up kite flying. Use bricks to weigh down the lines.
If the kites don't scare off the copter, a brick being flung up in the pilots face after the line wraps around the rotors will.

 
sxacho 2009-07-14 12:32:29 PM  
bradley547: The neighbor should take up kite flying. Use bricks to weigh down the lines.
If the kites don't scare off the copter, a brick being flung up in the pilots face after the line wraps around the rotors will.


That is genius. Truly.

 
jafiwam 2009-07-14 12:33:00 PM  
bradley547: The neighbor should take up kite flying. Use bricks to weigh down the lines.
If the kites don't scare off the copter, a brick being flung up in the pilots face after the line wraps around the rotors will.


img69.imageshack.us

 
pureobscure 2009-07-14 12:33:34 PM  
SnakeLee: My family has a big farm and there are some asshole neighbors who keep cutting down our trees so they can have a nicer view. My mom has done things like plant mulberry trees a little away from their house so birds eat the berries and then poop red all over the neighbors' cars but it's not enough. I was thinking of renting out the hill above their house for a cell phone tower to give them cancer but it's not as profitable as I hoped. Maybe this helicopter thing is the answer....

If they're cutting down YOUR trees I don't think you need to take the passive-aggressive approach.

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 12:35:10 PM  
This sounds reasonable. The chopper does not sound all that loud, nor is is a constant thing. The neighbor needs to grow up -- not just old.

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 12:35:53 PM  
SnakeLee: My family has a big farm and there are some asshole neighbors who keep cutting down our trees so they can have a nicer view. My mom has done things like plant mulberry trees a little away from their house so birds eat the berries and then poop red all over the neighbors' cars but it's not enough. I was thinking of renting out the hill above their house for a cell phone tower to give them cancer but it's not as profitable as I hoped. Maybe this helicopter thing is the answer....

Sue them. They will stop.

 
PenguinTheRed [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:37:05 PM  
screampunch.typepad.com

Approves

 
Fellini8.5 2009-07-14 12:37:29 PM  
A few years back, the developer of a big swanky bluff-top McMansion development overlooking the bay put in a helipad on his lot. I was having lunch down on the bayside, maybe 1/4 mile away, with coworkers, and the guy goes out there and starts warming it up to take off. Even during warmup it was loud as all fark, let alone when taking off, and it went on for an interminable amount of time.

Shortly after that, everyone else in the town passed an ordinance against personal aircraft in residential neighborhoods.

 
Krizzose 2009-07-14 12:39:33 PM  
PenguinTheRed:
screampunch.typepad.com

Approves

JC Penney is coming here because of me!!!

 
jfarkinB [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:41:39 PM  
My brother's family lives in a house that had a helipad put in in the 1960's, so I'm getting a kick out of some of these replies.

/but no helicopter rides

 
Bella_Painkilr 2009-07-14 12:48:11 PM  
TheGreatZarquon that tiny helicopter taking off is probably no louder than someone starting an old car in her driveway.

Starting an old car does not fling dust and a blast of blade air like a helicopter.

What if she starts a goose, pheasant, and pigeon farm? Put enough birds in the air and things can get interesting.

But really, there's no reason for all this. The pilot can look into landing further away.

 
Lou Stoolz 2009-07-14 12:49:15 PM  
www.videodetective.com

Approves of lawn landings.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 12:54:46 PM  
I wonder if a bunch of buckshot or bb's or something, thrown onto the neighbor's grass where it would be at least somewhat hidden, would screw things up for the copter...

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 12:57:46 PM  
Bella_Painkilr: TheGreatZarquon that tiny helicopter taking off is probably no louder than someone starting an old car in her driveway.

Starting an old car does not fling dust and a blast of blade air like a helicopter.

What if she starts a goose, pheasant, and pigeon farm? Put enough birds in the air and things can get interesting.

But really, there's no reason for all this. The pilot can look into landing further away.


The owner can also look into moving. The pilot does not sound to be doing anything unreasonable.

 
Perducci 2009-07-14 01:02:54 PM  
Mrs Maggs, who has been flying helicopters for nearly 20 years, said: "I could fly in and out of Peter's garden all day if I want but I try and be reasonable."

It would be nice if TFA stated how often she actually does fly in and out. If these visits are monthly, or even weekly, the old cow next door needs to STFU. If it's a daily occurrence, then maybe she has a point.

But it sounds like the pilot is at least trying to be considerate, so my gut tells me the old woman is overreacting.

This: "The noise and the dust mean it is impossible to be out there when the helicopter arrives or leaves and I have to keep my curtains closed for privacy" reinforces this belief.

A.) How long does it take for a small helicopter to take off or land? A couple of minutes? A big truck (or lorry or lift or boot or pram or whatever they call them) going by would probably raise more noise and dust.
and
B.) Privacy? Seriously? Does she think the pilot is hovering over the fence, trying to peer into her bedroom or something? Hoping to catch her looking at back issues of "Hot Wrinkled Hags" magazine, maybe?

There was a guy around here who was trying to get floatplanes banned from the local waterfront. They showed him on the news, standing on his balcony to show how noisy the planes were during take off. Then he wiped his finger on the balcony railing, to show how much pollution the planes were causing. Thirty seconds later, when the plane was gone, he still had to yell to be heard over the bumper-to-bumper car and truck traffic down the street. (Oh, and never mind that the planes have been flying there for decades and that his condo was only about four years old).

People seem to like to pick on the most obvious cause of problems, even if the cause isn't actually an issue and/or the problem isn't actually a big deal.

 
RobotSpider [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 01:03:30 PM  
don't know what the British equivalent of the FCC is, but sounds like someone needs to get her 10-meter operator license and corresponding antenna.

 
Marcintosh 2009-07-14 01:05:01 PM  
Land some of the things from Sikorsky in the garden, then she'll stop complaining.
1500' in the air and you can still feel your pancreas shake never mind carry on chatting.

Jeeze what a whiner

8-D

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 01:06:21 PM  
Perducci: Mrs Maggs, who has been flying helicopters for nearly 20 years, said: "I could fly in and out of Peter's garden all day if I want but I try and be reasonable."

It would be nice if TFA stated how often she actually does fly in and out. If these visits are monthly, or even weekly, the old cow next door needs to STFU. If it's a daily occurrence, then maybe she has a point.


I thought the same thing. Looking at the reasons the pilot is landing makes me believe it is less than once a week:

"Mrs Maggs flies the Schweizer 269c helicopter 80 miles from her home in Shere, Surrey, to Blythburgh to visit friends and the grave of her uncle, a former priest, who is buried in the village graveyard. "

It sounds like it might be weekly at best, to me.

 
ItsBusinessTime [TotalFark] 2009-07-14 01:06:25 PM  
i1012.photobucket.com

 
Carousel Beast 2009-07-14 01:07:22 PM  
NewportBarGuy: We've considered investing in a quad .50 cal to deal with the same problem here. Living off daddy's cash and acting like white trash doing something I don't like is no way to go through life.

/Fark, it's where the freedom-loving hypocrites are

 
bgddy24601 2009-07-14 01:07:54 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Care for a Fresca?

/Mr. Scholarship Winner?
//it looks good on me, though

 
smokinfoo 2009-07-14 01:08:07 PM  
So if she doesn't like she can move. Oh she can't move because she's a pensioner? Hmmm.... tough shiat.

 
bgddy24601 2009-07-14 01:08:49 PM  
whoops, wrong thread

/accidental jack FTL

 
Prof.Xomox 2009-07-14 01:10:32 PM  
Well a loud conversation is about 80 Db. Lawnmowers clock in at 90 and Chainsaws are near 110.

The noise argument seems weak, maybe that is why she is insisting on the dust being her chief complaint.

 
amanogowa 2009-07-14 01:12:48 PM  
Prof.Xomox: Well a loud conversation is about 80 Db. Lawnmowers clock in at 90 and Chainsaws are near 110.

The noise argument seems weak, maybe that is why she is insisting on the dust being her chief complaint.


Unless it is significantly more dusty/dirty than other allowed behaviors, she has no case. Is it worse than a bonfire all night? or a windy day? how about a leaf blower going all afternoon?

 
Daveism 2009-07-14 01:15:53 PM  
Add Douche-nozzle Supreme Governor wanna-be Dick DeVos of Grand Rapids, MI to the list... He manipulated (or wanted to manipulate) the local township zoning to allow his personal 'copter to fly into/out of his estate.

/Nuclear asshat

 
foo monkey 2009-07-14 01:16:32 PM  
SnakeLee: My family has a big farm and there are some asshole neighbors who keep cutting down our trees so they can have a nicer view.

lol. Are they cutting off your nuts, too?

 
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