Pancreatic cancer.

Stick a fork in 'im, 'e's done.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.

sounds like he needs some decadent western medicine.

King Something: Pancreatic cancer.

Stick a fork in 'im, 'e's done.

Well, Steve Jobs beat it so it's not unheard of to survive it. Apparently there are a couple of types of pancreatic cancer--one you can get better from with proper treatment, the other kills you pretty quickly no matter the treatment.

Ronery?

My mom lasted three months with pancreatic cancer. Hope this bastard lasts longer and suffers more.

Hender: King Something: Pancreatic cancer.

Stick a fork in 'im, 'e's done.

Well, Steve Jobs beat it so it's not unheard of to survive it. Apparently there are a couple of types of pancreatic cancer--one you can get better from with proper treatment, the other kills you pretty quickly no matter the treatment.

I hope dear old kimmy gets the South Park potato treatment...

/can't find it on YouTube
//but I don't dare to snark about chemo/nuclear ambitions
///Aisle seat, just for thinking about the above

so rare to find a reason to root for cancer but... GO CANCER GO.

How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

[NewsFlash.gif] Cure for cancer found! Discovery will be unveiled as soon as that North Korean dictator dies.

AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

Lies! Dear Leader will just take a look in the mirror and his divine gaze will make him all better!

AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

The same way they did it when Great Leader died, the true believers will accept whatever the media tells them and anyone else will keep their mouths shut so that they don't end up in the gulag.

That's gurag.

So they had 'Great Leader' and after that 'Dear Leader'.

What kind of '<adjective> Leader' is next? How about they drop the masks already and call him Mis Leader?

As an aside, we probably won't hear much about it but the politics surrounding succession are likely to be very interesting.

Myownepitaph: As an aside, we probably won't hear much about it but the politics surrounding succession are likely to be very interesting.

I thought it was fairly well established that he will be succeeded by Kim Jong Un.

belgianguy: So they had 'Great Leader' and after that 'Dear Leader'.

What kind of '<adjective> Leader' is next? How about they drop the masks already and call him Mis Leader?

Right now Kim Jong Un is the "Brilliant Comrade", so probably something along those lines.

As an aside, I've wanted Kim Jong Il to die for a very long time now. I check up on North Korean news every day, just to make sure I don't miss it.

His son is supposedly the successor, but he'll have very little power when he comes to. Kim Jong Il spent about 20 years before he came to power eliminating rivals and solidifying his standing in the Army. Kim Jong Un has had about 6 months. But I'm hopeful. Kim Jong Il spent his entire life as part of his father's system. He went to Communist schools and learned only his father's teachings. Kim Jong Un grew up in Switzerland, and would know just how awful the country he's about to run is. I doubt things will change all that dramatically, but here's to hope.

Furthermore, I really hope for the day that North Korea collapses. There will be a massive refugee crisis at first, for sure. But it would change so much. I would love to see the beauty in millions of starving people knowing that the future is safer, freer, and more prosperous than they could imagine. I'd like to think of the families trapped in gulags, who've been living on daily regiments of 500g of gruel and tree bark, eeking out a living so that one day they might walk free.

I'm waiting for him to die, and for news reports to come across state-run media only minutes later: "Dear Leader has been killed by evil American agents! America is devil! Long live the new great leader!"

Which will probably be followed by the rosy glow of a couple nukes detonating on their own launchpads.

Doak: Furthermore, I really hope for the day that North Korea collapses. There will be a massive refugee crisis at first, for sure. But it would change so much. I would love to see the beauty in millions of starving people knowing that the future is safer, freer, and more prosperous than they could imagine. I'd like to think of the families trapped in gulags, who've been living on daily regiments of 500g of gruel and tree bark, eeking out a living so that one day they might walk free.

You have to take into consideration the absolute stranglehold that Kim Jong-il has on his people's minds and loyalties. They hold him in the same regard that Egyptians held their pharaohs; he's pretty much God to them. When he dies, it will be a catastrophe to everyone who isn't privileged enough to know what the world outside North Korea is actually like, which will make Kim Jong Un's job even harder.

There's no guarantee that he'll get the same kind of absolute obedience that his father got from his subordinates, and if he doesn't get compliance when/if he tries to start bringing his country out of the Dark Ages, he'll go down the same road his father went and become a tyrant.

Doak: Myownepitaph: As an aside, we probably won't hear much about it but the politics surrounding succession are likely to be very interesting.

I thought it was fairly well established that he will be succeeded by Kim Jong Un.


He seems to be the favorite but seniority is a huge deal with the NK government and he simply doesn't have it. Kim Jong Il was given figurehead positions in several important state organs before his succession was sure. Like I said, I doubt we'll hear much of anything until it's confirmed but it could be very interesting.

TheGreatZarquon: When he dies, it will be a catastrophe to everyone who isn't privileged enough to know what the world outside North Korea is actually like, which will make Kim Jong Un's job even harder.

Correct, which is why I said that I'm waiting for North Korea to collapse. Hopefully that gets sped up by the death of Kim Jong Il. I imagine that either Kim Jong Un will consolidate power (and maybe institute some non-crazy changes), or there will be massive infighting among various factions of the Military. It's like, either way, Kim Jong Il dying = a good thing.

WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

Once his bratty kid takes over as leader, we need to send lots of tall, hot, white chicks to fark him stupid. From there, meaningful diplomacy can flow. North Korea will become the 51st state.

AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

"Dear Leader has managed to separate his soul from his body and has ascended to the Heavens, where he will shower prosperity and discipline on our glorious Socialist Republic for eternity!"

FlashHarry: sounds like he needs some decadent western medicine.

More or less what I came to say. I think Kim Jong should now demonstrate to his people the faith he has in the system charged with caring for the citizenry. I'm certain that it's every bit the quality of the average N. Korean's diet during developmental years. After all, have you seen how tall they are compared to their neighbors?

Thankfully, his golf game is unaffected.

AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

I suspect it will go down a lot like that whole Jesus thing not too long ago.

May Kim Jong-Il depart this earth quickly. Not to save him any pain or suffering. Hopefully, his death will result in the freedom of the North Korean people from their current bondage and enslavement.

/Without taking thousands, even millions of people to Death's door with him.

AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

hmm. I wonder how the Japanese handled their leader "surrendering" to the inferior Westerners during WW2? Wasn't he also considered a God by the people as well?

DIE YOU farkER! I WANT MY 200 BUCKS FROM MY DEAD POOL.
/Just venting.
//Could you believe some guy had Billy Mays, MJ, and Farrah? Lucky bastard.

really? thats all we got?

WOLVERINES!!!


Swayze Feels your Pain.

AirForceVet: Hopefully, his death will result in the freedom of the North Korean people from their current bondage and enslavement.

Gear up for some instability. Jr. seems to have all the earmarks of someone you'd want to challenge. Of course, the whole thing may be peaceful, I dunno.

SilentStrider: so rare to find a reason to root for cancer but... GO CANCER GO.

Go cancer go! Spread to his pecker and nutsack while you're at it.

Mirrorz: Swa

Swayze probably wished this on him. "Give Kim Jong this Red Dawn!"

I rove it!

I have a better chance of turning today's turd back into a burger and fries than he has of surviving this.

the down side is that pancreatic cancer is insanely painful and he is an insane person with some nukes, a big army and tuns of guns.

shanrick: Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

I finally went to the doctor last week for a checkup and the doctor told me that pancreatic cancer is not hereditary. That was a load off my mind. Figure my dad got from his pacreatitus caused by his love of Jim Beam and Coke. I don't drink sodas and only have a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend.

Hender: King Something: Pancreatic cancer.

Stick a fork in 'im, 'e's done.

Well, Steve Jobs beat it so it's not unheard of to survive it. Apparently there are a couple of types of pancreatic cancer--one you can get better from with proper treatment, the other kills you pretty quickly no matter the treatment.

Your comparing one of the richest men in the world with the leader of one of the poorest countries in the world. I'm pretty sure Jobs gets some of the top of the line medical treatment for his cancer. Even with Kim being the leader and getting the best NK has to offer...its still NK were talking about. Plus have you seen the recent photos of him. I don't think the cancer is losing.

wiki: Clinical depression has been reported in association with pancreatic cancer, sometimes presenting before the cancer is diagnosed. However, the mechanism for this association is not known.[6]

The nukes. They were a cry for help.

I feel bad now. I ridiculed him.

I wonder what his Fark log-in is?

There have already been reports by Japanese intelligence that the current Kim Jong Il walking around is an impersonator because the real one is in terrible health.

Here is the video by Japanese intelligence, listen to some of his reasoning, this could be quite possible:

(pops)

/Funny lookin little Asian

kim jong il???????

quick, send him to baltimore md

Eyebleach
AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

I suspect it will go down a lot like that whole Jesus thing not too long ago.

He'll rise again 3 days after death?

/all praise great zombie dictator

Bloody William: Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.

GO TEAM VENTURE!



/hot as Dr. Mrs. The Monarch.

Needs more "House" refs.

Kid slurps the last strand of the flying spaghetti monster.
Universe collapses.

Best news I've heard all day.

Taking bets on Ginsburg v Swayze v Dear Leader

Takers?

So...is the evil totalitarian government fatwa trifecta in play, or what?

FTFA _{"(Reporting by Jack Kim, Editing by Dean Yates)"} Take all the credit you can from 2 tiny paragraphs!!!!

bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

He's a slave to the power of death.

/got nothing

Hmm, maybe this explains all of the noise that North Korea's been making recently. I know it was assumed that it was in preparation for introducing his successor, but that would definitely explain why it was on such an accelerated timeline.

That's some fine reporting there, lou.

I guess all that confirmation and details stuff just got too expensive.

driven to quit: Hender: King Something: Pancreatic cancer.

Stick a fork in 'im, 'e's done.

Well, Steve Jobs beat it so it's not unheard of to survive it. Apparently there are a couple of types of pancreatic cancer--one you can get better from with proper treatment, the other kills you pretty quickly no matter the treatment.

Your comparing one of the richest men in the world with the leader of one of the poorest countries in the world. I'm pretty sure Jobs gets some of the top of the line medical treatment for his cancer. Even with Kim being the leader and getting the best NK has to offer...its still NK were talking about. Plus have you seen the recent photos of him. I don't think the cancer is losing.

He's screwed, he can't go overseas for treatment for obvious reasons, and I don't think NKs finest doctors are no more experienced than the Janitor from Scrubs.

CitizenTed: Once his bratty kid takes over as leader, we need to send lots of tall, hot, white chicks to fark him stupid. From there, meaningful diplomacy can flow. North Korea will become the 51st state.

Just send him some women from South Korea. If they can't turn him then no women can.

An unsourced newsflash on South Korean TV, one of the most reliable places to find a story.

AR55: AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

hmm. I wonder how the Japanese handled their leader "surrendering" to the inferior Westerners during WW2? Wasn't he also considered a God by the people as well?

Yup. Now they just respect him (because they're crazy about respect over there) and use him as an excuse to screw with their calendar (they have two year denominations, the normal one and "after emperor's birth'). Hopefully the same thing happens here.

Can't think of a more deserving person to get Pancreatic Cancer than Kim Jong Il.

rynthetyn: Hmm, maybe this explains all of the noise that North Korea's been making recently. I know it was assumed that it was in preparation for introducing his successor, but that would definitely explain why it was on such an accelerated timeline.

And certainly, everyone will accept this 25-year-old as their leader, and there'll be no ensuing period of power struggle and instability that our intelligence agencies might meddle with....

I volunteer to donate my pancreas to him, and by pancreas, I mean a large steaming log

bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

Should clone him a new one

I was going to complain that my headline wasn't used because it's exactly the same as this one, but now I see this was submitted before mine.

Apparently I'm not very original.

Lenny_da_Hog: Needs more "House" refs.

Watch it turn out to actually be lupis this time.

/ happy?

Good. Hopefully he dies soon and NK rejoins the south peacefully. Come on cancer don't let us down.

I'm sure this'll make great material for the next movie he directs and writes and stars in.

When the collapse finally happens, just think of all that North Korean snatch, desperate for a better life in the West. Even a loser like me will have a chance. Hell, I'll probably get two or three. Pretty ones. Young ones. God, I can't wait. I'll make them do the nastiest, most perverted things I can think of, and threaten to send them back if they don't comply.

i would say something snarky about this being a good thing and whatnot....but you know what they say about the devil you know, as opposed to the devil you don't.

/and belgianguy -southparkstudios.com-

No! Not a grand humanitarian like him!

So, does he go out like a power crazy psycho and bomb whatever he can with whatever he has or does he go out like a little pussy and hope that his successor takes up the cause and doesn't fold like a cheap house of cards?

Let's see.

skinink: CitizenTed: Once his bratty kid takes over as leader, we need to send lots of tall, hot, white chicks to fark him stupid. From there, meaningful diplomacy can flow. North Korea will become the 51st state.

Just send him some women from South Korea. If they can't turn him then no women can.

Mmmm...hot like kim chee...

jj325: My mom lasted three months with pancreatic cancer. Hope this bastard lasts longer and suffers more.

I am sorry about your mother. The comment about pancreatic cancer that sticks with me was a doctors comment when the emperor of Japan was dying from it. King of Pain.

May he have a painful/slow death, then get ass-raped in hell.

/Over and over again.

gothelder: Lenny_da_Hog: Needs more "House" refs.

Watch it turn out to actually be lupis this time.

/ happy?

"I'm sure, with him being a god and all, he'll just walk out of the hospital for a lunch-time miracle... any moment now."

[puts feet on desk, looking smug]

oh come on. he's probably been dead for over a year, they're just trying to find a way to have someone else take over without admitting that he Kim Jong-Il isn't the invincible god he claims to be

skinink: Just send him some women from South Korea. If they can't turn him then no women can.

and if they can't they, they are so farking batshiat crazy and farked up they can nag him to death or beat the shiat out of him

/still worth the great sex

i don't think he's going to be getting a lot of get well soon cards.

good night, funny man.

/too soon?

/ronery

Hail Hail the witch is dead.

I wonder if that the other people in power in North Korea don't want another spoiled and insane Kim Il Sung descendant in charge, that maybe Kim Jong Il soured them on the thought of any future leaders from that family tree. Maybe some of those who are in charge can see the writing on the wall and want more relaxed dealings with the outside world. Maybe that's why this transfer of power isn't going as smooth as the last.

Soon we'll something like this for Kim Jong-Ded

international
Yeltsin fights impeachment
Claims he's 'alive'

MOSCOW - Russian President Boris Yeltsin may have to prove he's alive to stave off an impeachment vote Tuesday in the Russian Parliament.
"I like Boris, but I'd prefer a living President," said Industry Minister Yuri Slendanypolickovanski, as he worked his second job selling hot dogs outside the Kremlin. "Not that I can't take orders from the dead - that's why we keep Lenin's body around. But since we turned into a democracy, having a pulse has become more important."

Yeltsin, who has worked only one day in the last four months due to complications associated with general deadness - has become increasingly distant from his parliament since word of his passing was leaked to the Western press.

"I'm tip top. See - I can dance a jig. Look. I'm dancing," he said in a radio address that proved very little. Even if Yeltsin proves he has a functioning heart and active brain, he could still face impeachment on several other counts including:

Bringing in democracy just as Communism was getting hip again

Killing the Russian people through poverty and starvation, as opposed to the old way of killing them for no reason in particular

Winter. Someone has to be blamed
Slendanypolicovanski admitted the chances Yeltsin will be impeached are remote.

This is bad...for Obama.

Hail Hail the witch is dead?

the original lyric is "ding dong", the guy's name is a phonetically similar "Kim Jong" and you went with "hail hail?"

hm.

Couldn't ask for a nastier cancer, great news. It's just unfortunate that he'll have access to the best painkillers money can buy.

never underestimate the last wishes of a dying maniac, i suppose..

//that being said, decades-old artillery does not a great war make these days. or, denial of service attacks..

Meh. Wake me when the headline reads

Kim Jong-Dead

bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

They still have yet to accept that Kim Il-Sung died. He still holds the eternal position of Great Leader (KJI is, in addition to "Dear Leader," known as the "Great General.")

One can only hope that KJU brings some sanity to that nutjob country, but all it takes is for him to have the same power trip the others did and it will be business as usual.

As for the people in the gulags, I can't imagine that many of them are still (voluntarily) worshiping the Dear Leader. As I experienced in parochial high school, forced worship does not automatically result in belief in the deity being worshiped.

House could cure him

He's been Ill for a while now. WTF is the newsflash for?

tonguedepressor: House could cure him

So would a low-yield nuke, but that might cause a problem or two...

bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND

And what does he need with a starship?

/and a day of rest? He's GOD. He's got stamina, yo.

logophile: Hail Hail the witch is dead?

the original lyric is "ding dong", the guy's name is a phonetically similar "Kim Jong" and you went with "hail hail?"

hm.

did someone say my name?

gothelder: Lenny_da_Hog: Needs more "House" refs.

Watch it turn out to actually be lupis this time.

/ happy?

Polonium in the salad? Who did the deed?

I wonder if they end up a free country if they'll ever finish that big hotel? It's such a monument to insanity it seems like a waste it's never been used for much.

The real tragedy here is that this motherfarker has oultived Billy Mays.

AMAZING song and illustration of the history of Kim

Link (new window)

destrip: As for the people in the gulags, I can't imagine that many of them are still (voluntarily) worshiping the Dear Leader. As I experienced in parochial high school, forced worship does not automatically result in belief in the deity being worshiped.

The one person who escaped from the North Korean prison camps and made it to South Korea said that he had never heard of Kim Jong Il or anything else about how wonderful the dear leader is (his name is Shin Dong Hyuk, he was born in the camp). He guessed that since they don't ever plan on letting those people out those in charge see no reason to fill their heads with the propaganda as it'd be a waste of time.

Just what I want: A walking Napoleon complex with nuclear capabilities, a very definite time limit, and nothing to lose. Yeah, it's great that he's dying and all, and I don't say that about many people, but this could be very bad for us all. He may get even MORE desperate now that he knows the world knows about his health issues.

NeuroticRocker: AMAZING song and illustration of the history of Kim

Link (new window)

VERY interesting.

Pancleatic cancer? No problem, just boil some ground okapi testicles with some tiger sweat and add 6 rhino toenails and the hymen of a hermaphrodite. Flavor to taste with kimchee and serve.

/nothing's too dear for our Fearless Leader.
//asian folk cures FTW!!

CLEARLY I'm evil: NeuroticRocker: AMAZING song and illustration of the history of Kim

Link (new window)

VERY interesting.

Yeah, his other music is great. I dont want to threadjack but he did one on the history of Obama AND an 8 min vid, with an acoustic performance of the history of punk, while playing all the punk songs...acoustically.

And, for the record, you are GORGEOUS

I say as a sign of respect to this national leader, regardless of how we may feel about him, America should send a team of our best homeopaths over there to save him.

BasqueBastard: Pancleatic cancer? No problem, just boil some ground okapi testicles with some tiger sweat and add 6 rhino toenails and the hymen of a hermaphrodite. Flavor to taste with kimchee and serve.

/nothing's too dear for our Fearless Leader.
//asian folk cures FTW!!

I LOL'ed

But don't forget the Giant Squid semen and boiled Panda Penis.

Bloody William: Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.

B-b-but North Korea loves teh ghey! (number 20) Link (new window)

Guess he'll be up in Heaven soon with the likes of Stalin and Ty Cobb....

bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

Way to stick it to all those North Koreans who are reading this thread.

Never thought I'd actually say it to someone but


Let's hope he beats the odds and stays around to enjoy a long and painful decline.

Anyone consider that his increasingly eratic moves of late may all be tied to going out with a 'bang' (pardon the pun) to leave what, in his twisted ritter mind, would be the ultimate legacy

IamKaiserSoze!!!: Anyone consider that his increasingly eratic moves of late may all be tied to going out with a 'bang' (pardon the pun) to leave what, in his twisted ritter mind, would be the ultimate legacy

He is in charge, but the other people around him that are also in power aren't insane; they would probably refuse to carry out suicidal orders and then maybe hasten the Dear Leader's journey into the afterlife. I would bet the other ruling elites in North Korea like their cushy lives (relative to other N Koreans) and would like to go on living them. It's the low level members of such things who are the brainwashed fanatics, those nearest the top know what a load of crap all the propaganda is as they get to see things for how they really are.

I had been getting a little sick of the time cancer had spent in my friend's balls and boobs and my dad's ass, so it's nice to see it taking a little initiative and really doing something with itself.

He's obviously not been eating enough kimchi.

Bloody William: Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.

Go Team Venture!

I was watching BBC news, and they showed some video taken of him. He looks like a cancer patient to me. I'm not being snarky either, I'm being serious. He looks gaunt, like he's been undergoing chemo.

Cancer is too good of a way for him to die.

Good, I hope the stupid biatch suffers. Alot.

This guy should be on everyones death list

This headline was a lot better last August when I had it greenlit.

Bloody William: Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.

Girl Hitler?

Wow, I have a new fetish now. fapfapfapfapfap

Befuddled: IamKaiserSoze!!!: Anyone consider that his increasingly eratic moves of late may all be tied to going out with a 'bang' (pardon the pun) to leave what, in his twisted ritter mind, would be the ultimate legacy

He is in charge, but the other people around him that are also in power aren't insane; they would probably refuse to carry out suicidal orders and then maybe hasten the Dear Leader's journey into the afterlife. I would bet the other ruling elites in North Korea like their cushy lives (relative to other N Koreans) and would like to go on living them. It's the low level members of such things who are the brainwashed fanatics, those nearest the top know what a load of crap all the propaganda is as they get to see things for how they really are.

Anyone who had the balls to not follow one of Kim's orders has long been weeded out. If he believes that North Korea will collapse after his death, I have no doubt that he will "push the button". I also have no doubt that his underlings would carry that order out. Lets just hope that he's delusional enough to believe that his son will carry on the glorious rule of NK.

If rule does transfer to his son, don't bother sending him women, just send him a copy of Star Craft II. Game. Set. Match.

/how can I know all this without a doubt?
//I AM A FARK EXPERT!!!!11!

"Oh boy! Long Pork from Dear Leader!"

snake_beater: bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

He's a slave to the power of death.

/got nothing

So he'll die as he lived?

El Chode: Taking bets on Ginsburg v Swayze v Dear Leader

Takers?

Are any of the Golden Girls left?

He looks so cute, like a little asian Higgins. Feed him Fruit Loops and Sweet Tea. It worked for my ferret.

Nurse, if this doesn't work, stand by with the picture of Zombie Kim-Jong Il captioned with "LAPE LAPE LAPE LAPE"...

AgentOrangeDrink: I had been getting a little sick of the time cancer had spent in my friend's balls and boobs and my dad's ass, so it's nice to see it taking a little initiative and really doing something with itself.

wait.. Your friend is a tranny? BIE? wait cancer DO NOT WANT

NeuroticRocker: AMAZING song and illustration of the history of Kim

Link(new window)

That was good.

Sort of like a low-budget Schoolhouse Rock episode.

I can only hope that the "Dear Leader" dies and his son takes over. Hopefully he picks a title which does not translate well, and we end up with the "Gay Leader" but the international community does not laugh until he has all of his stationary made. 'cause there's no turning back then.

You can beat pancreatic cancer if you catch it early enough. The prblem is that the symptoms range from non-specific things like coughing or aches and pains to non-existent where you have no idea anything is wrong at all. By the time you do have more specific symptoms and they figure out what's wrong with you, the cancer had metastasized, and it's too late. It's really nasty stuff, and can occur in anyone without any real reason.

I just hope he doesn't try and blow up Japan and / or Hawaii on the way out.

You reap what you sew, little man.

Karma's a biatch.

ect, ect.

/oh, I'd also like to say awesome!

I can see it now, "Kim Jung Il recovers from pancreatic cancer". I'll believe it when he is dead.

AR55: AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

hmm. I wonder how the Japanese handled their leader "surrendering" to the inferior Westerners during WW2? Wasn't he also considered a God by the people as well?

Let's not forget that involved the use of nuclear ordinance.

Good. F*CK HIM.

/waiting

my uncle died on Friday from pancreatic cancer. he lasted 3 months from diagnosis. it's a very painful way to go. enjoy the pain, lil Kim.

INVINCIBLE POWER OF JUCHE IDEA WILL ANNIHILATE US IMPERIALIST WAR MACHINE! PRAISE TO KIM JONG IL, MOST BRILLIANT MILITARY COMMANDER AND GREATEST BENEFACTOR OF HUMAN RACE. LIKE TANK CRUSH SOFT FAT AMERIKKKA WAR MACHINE FOR SOCIALIST MARXIST-LENINIST CORRECT JUCHE POLITICAL IDEA!

Shadowknight: Just what I want: A walking Napoleon complex with nuclear capabilities, a very definite time limit, and nothing to lose. Yeah, it's great that he's dying and all, and I don't say that about many people, but this could be very bad for us all. He may get even MORE desperate now that he knows the world knows about his health issues.

no shiat

Guess he won't be needing those pleasure teams any more.

Send em my way....

Im feeling fine this morning alittle hung over but off to work anyways
then maybe a few rounds of golf :-)

For real though, my opinion is the recent ddos attack on the South Koreans, the White House, DoD, et al, had something to do with this. I'll bet they thought it was going to make everything go kaboom.

And everyone thought writing stern letters never did anything good in this world.

You know, with his last breath, he is liable to just launch all his missiles and see what he hits...it's not like he's going to suffer any.

I give the dude 4 months, tops.

um . . . hooray cancer?

So when are we going to go to war with North Korea?Obviously given the level of sex crime and destruction of the social contract in this country (the USA) between the people and the government, it's going to be very very soon.

I hope he likes pineapples.

well... bye.

People keep implying that there is going to be a war, with a country (North Korea) that we've been at war with for 50 years. They tell me to wait, as this personality cult molests children, murders the disabled, invades our privacy, emotionally and psychologically abuses us in every way possible and exploits the market place. Unfortunately it is very obvious that the people in this country are weak, apathetic, hopeless and amoral and the only way that anything gets done, is if one person does all the work. I am fully up to the task and will be posting video evidence along with news reports in the weeks to come that proves that this is all a lie and that people like myself have 100% legal right, by international authority, to seek shelter and to have violent demonstrations against persecution. Even if that means doing it by myself, but I highly doubt that.

johndalek: kim jong il???????

quick, send him to baltimore md

As a resident of Baltimore... no thanks, we'll keep our awesome cancer-treating hospitals to ourselves.

ju66l3r: So, does he go out like a power crazy psycho and bomb whatever he can with whatever he has or does he go out like a little pussy and hope that his successor takes up the cause and doesn't fold like a cheap house of cards?

Let's see.

That is the big question. There may be a reason he has been relentlessly pursuing nukes. I fear he knows the successorship is weak and he is the only one who could make daddy happy. Seriously, this guy is a psychotic megalomaniac and I'm afraid his last words will be 'fire the nuke missres'. Then Seoul disappears, NK gets flattened by Japan/China/Russia/USA and his legacy is fulfilled.

Scary.

Excuse me, but what does God need with a pancreas?

/JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGG!
//apologies if this pic was already posted. Websense blocks a lot of viewables so l can only see about 30% of the images. But it was the first thing I thought of when I heard the story.

I wanted to draft him for my dead pool next year. Hang on til January you goofy little tinpot dictator!

SilentStrider: so rare to find a reason to root for cancer but... GO CANCER GO.

Approves.

jj325: My mom lasted three months with pancreatic cancer.

That sucks, jj. Don't you just love it when the news brings back painful personal experiences?

The CIA is the head of this international personality cult, which dictates every statement and action by the very people in this forum. They are soulless, knee-less, mindless punk biatches that serve only one purpose which is to make everyone lazy, depressed, apathetic and stupid. The evidence I have, handed over by the same people who are sadistically controlling the weakest, laziest and dumbest civilian population on earth, the United Sates, proves without a doubt all my prior statements. The question is given that this evidence was PROVIDED TO ME by KIM JONG IL himself, does the United States DESERVE to be released from its shackles, when its population does not fight for its contractual rights at all whatsoever? The answer for me and anyone else with the cajones is that I dont give a shiat. I'm going to do it for myself. If you don't have the dignity, the self-respect or the will to have free will, then you can farking suffer and die in your socially, emotionally, sexually, intellectually and financially abusive paradise, betraying any sense of dignity or respect for your relatives that you could possibly have. It's well understood that the United States police departments and justice departments are corrupt, and also understood that the american people as a group are too lazy, apathetic and stupid to do anything about it, so what is the sense in providing this information in a forum such as this? To let you know one thing: The rest of the f'n world can see you now, and u look like (are) the biggest group of biatch-made pussies the world has ever seen. I'm not fighting for your country, and never would. Your people are pathetic, stupid and lazy to the point of cruelty. I'm fighting for persecution against myself, wherever I may be.

SlothB77: Median survival from diagnosis is around 3 to 6 months; 5-year survival is less than 5%. With 37,170 cases diagnosed in the United States in 2007, and 33,700 deaths, pancreatic cancer has one of the highest fatality rates of all cancers and is the fourth highest cancer killer in the United States among both men and women. Although it accounts for only 2.5% of new cases, pancreatic cancer is responsible for 6% of cancer deaths each year.

I thought that was mainly because it is so tricky to diagnose or even show symptoms until it's already in the latter stages? Like the cancer itself isn't that much worse just that they typically don't even know you have it until it's too late?

Unlike say colon cancer where you tend to start crapping blood early on and most people see that as a sign to go see a doctor.

bgddy24601: Excuse me, but what does God need with a pancreas?

/JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGG!
//apologies if this pic was already posted. Websense blocks a lot of viewables so l can only see about 30% of the images. But it was the first thing I thought of when I heard the story.

I kinda covered it, but you had a pic.

/you win... this round.

maniacbastard: I have a better chance of turning today's turd back into a burger and fries

It's easy to get the look right but the taste is trickier.

That was an article?

You're not going to die... you're a god!

Reading through this thread is sad. How can everyone be happy about a person getting cancer, suffering and ultimately dying.

Even the worst person is a human being. I know this won't make mae any friends but let's not rejoice over someone's suffering. It's just not right.

DoBeDoBeDo: SlothB77: Median survival from diagnosis is around 3 to 6 months; 5-year survival is less than 5%. With 37,170 cases diagnosed in the United States in 2007, and 33,700 deaths, pancreatic cancer has one of the highest fatality rates of all cancers and is the fourth highest cancer killer in the United States among both men and women. Although it accounts for only 2.5% of new cases, pancreatic cancer is responsible for 6% of cancer deaths each year.

I thought that was mainly because it is so tricky to diagnose or even show symptoms until it's already in the latter stages? Like the cancer itself isn't that much worse just that they typically don't even know you have it until it's too late?

Unlike say colon cancer where you tend to start crapping blood early on and most people see that as a sign to go see a doctor.

Not only is it very hard to diagnose early unless your family has a history of pancreatic cancer (Justice Ginsburg was very lucky that it was caught when it was), it tends to be resistant to most of the standard treatments. If it is caught early, the only real option is to remove the pancrease, rendering the patient diabetic for the rest of their life with all of the fun health problems associated with diabetes. Kim Jong-Il will most likely be dead before the end of the year.

All of the recent sword-waiving now makes some sense. It is an attempt to encourage the army to fall into line behind Jong-Un. The real power in NK is in the hands of the army, so to remain the leaders of NK, the Kim family needs to maintain the support of the hawkish army.

D_Evans45: There have already been reports by Japanese intelligence that the current Kim Jong Il walking around is an impersonator because the real one is in terrible health.

Here is the video by Japanese intelligence, listen to some of his reasoning, this could be quite possible:

(pops)

/Funny lookin little Asian

Dammit!

/got me

rastjr: Reading through this thread is sad. How can everyone be happy about a person getting cancer, suffering and ultimately dying.

Even the worst person is a human being. I know this won't make mae any friends but let's not rejoice over someone's suffering. It's just not right.

It's not so much about rejoicing over one man's suffering as it is rejoicing in the potential cease of millions' suffering.

Occasionally, some people have it coming. If he spends the next five years in brutal agony and teeth-shattering pain, he's still getting off light.

Pooter: rastjr: Reading through this thread is sad. How can everyone be happy about a person getting cancer, suffering and ultimately dying.

Even the worst person is a human being. I know this won't make mae any friends but let's not rejoice over someone's suffering. It's just not right.

It's not so much about rejoicing over one man's suffering as it is rejoicing in the potential cease of millions' suffering.

Occasionally, some people have it coming. If he spends the next five years in brutal agony and teeth-shattering pain, he's still getting off light.


I disagree. He will get what is coming to his when he comes back as a dung beetle.

skinink: Just send him some women from South Korea. If they can't turn him then no women can.

2 please. kthx.

Dammit Dad! Hurry up!

Seriously what the fark kind of social life do you people think you're going to have? You live in a fantasy world existence where your gay freak cult has been manipulating stupid people through publishing companies for over a hundred years, now in the information society, you're screwed and your nothing but a circus freak show of losers nobody in there right mind, in the eyes of the worlds social network, is going to want to talk to, or care to talk to. So if your concerned about your social life, or reputation for not being "in" take a look at a world almanac or a census report and you'll see that worldwide there are millions of people (including women I might add) with IQs over 140 and I guarantee that not a single one of them would agree with this behavior. How does it perpetuate? Because 60% of the worlds population is factually mentally retarded due to a lack of education, resources which are deliberately hidden from a very large amount of people, while 85% of the worlds population is considered mentally retarded by the top 15%. Obviously, when you have statistics like that, it is easy to discover where all the social problems come from. When 85% of the population is controlled by 1% of the financially-elite population, those who own the publishing companies (and public education ideologies and methodologies), there is no evidence to suggest what the IQ is of that 1%, except data that shows that 60% of the worlds population is factually and mentally retarded and that over 60% of the worlds population lives in poverty. Obviously if you fall into that 85% category, you might conclude that if in this position, protecting your wealth is more important then protecting your conscience, but thats also why you work for free as a jizz mopper at a gay bar. The fact is that the wealth of the world is controlled by very stupid people, who deliberately make themselves dumber, all the while being completely unaware that they fall into this demographic which is probably why they feel that they are so good at marketing. Acting as cogs of corporations, they don't see there own folly. They may eventually conclude that it's possible when they pushed that crummy how to business guide with its social darwinist philosophy into private university courses, that they created the next Adolf Hitler, who went on to send the employees children into concentration camps for not buying Pepsi. Meanwhile, at another private university, the irrelevant Karl Marx is praised like kids hearing Michael Jackson for the first time..

neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult...this evidence was PROVIDED TO ME by KIM JONG IL himself...Your people are pathetic, stupid and lazy to the point of cruelty. I'm fighting for persecution against myself, wherever I may be.

Jesus H. Christ in a Fiat - who pissed in your Wheaties, bro?

If this ISN'T a CTRL-C, CTRL-V marathon rant, I am really, really impressed with neelb420 right now.

neelb420:

?

rastjr: I disagree. He will get what is coming to his when he comes back as a dung beetle.

I disagree with your disagreement.

*cough*

OK, then.

*rubs hands together, heads toward the bar*

explains last weeks hacking blitz, trying to get into secret Web m.d. files and naked walter brennan photos

Ahhhhh... yes...

One day you're a living god, basking in luxury while your worshippers live in squalor and augment their diet with bark and clay just to pretend they've had a proper meal... the next... well, you're just a tin pot dictator with a terminal disease. Unfortunately whatever suffering he undergoes, it'll be insufficient compared to the people of North Korea.

neelb420: Seriously what the fark kind of social life do you people think you're going to have? snip..

Claiming an IQ over 140 and you never learned how to divide up your discourse into distinct paragraphs? Interesting.

neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult...


Is this some kind of StopArrestingMe joke? If not, kindly let me show you to the Youtube or Yahoo Answers forums, where you can find some like-minded citizens who would be happy to discuss this with you.

July 8 2009. He looks pretty crappy.


Link (new window)

neelb420:

I bet that tirade makes the hippie chicks drop their panties every time.

Say what you will about the man, he has a helluva fashion sense.

The President of Hittin' That Ass: D_Evans45: There have already been reports by Japanese intelligence that the current Kim Jong Il walking around is an impersonator because the real one is in terrible health.

Here is the video by Japanese intelligence, listen to some of his reasoning, this could be quite possible:

(pops)

/Funny lookin little Asian

Dammit!

/got me


yeah same here, been a while..

They See Me Trollin': I bet that tirade makes the hippie chicks drop their panties every time.

Only to reveal something that looks like a pair of hairy panties.

They See Me Trollin': neelb420:

I bet that tirade makes the hippie chicks drop their panties every time.

Those aren't panties... that there is a pube-jungle.

/they don't wear panties. Or shave for that matter.

Mercutio74: They See Me Trollin': I bet that tirade makes the hippie chicks drop their panties every time.

Only to reveal something that looks like a pair of hairy panties.

DAMN YOU! ;)

Trollin, are you claiming that im sexually inferior? Because I asked your mom who she thought was better, me or you, and she said I was.

What concerns me about long debilitating illness in front of him is the fact that he's crazy. What are the chances that he'll decide that he wants to see the Korean peninsula reunited before he dies? The amount of damage one megalomaniac with a death wish can cause is astronomical. I wish he'd just been hit by a truck instead. This is far worse.

neelb420: Trollin, are you claiming that im sexually inferior? Because I asked your mom who she thought was better, me or you, and she said I was.

How do you know his mom wasn't just trying to make you feel better about yourself?

/And please bring something a little less weak than a "yo momma" joke next time
//If you want to shock and offend most farkers you've gotta think less like a 1980's urban caricature and more like someone who enjoys /b/

Delta, are you implying that im psychologically inferior?

DeltaXi65: What concerns me about long debilitating illness in front of him is the fact that he's crazy. What are the chances that he'll decide that he wants to see the Korean peninsula reunited before he dies? The amount of damage one megalomaniac with a death wish can cause is astronomical. I wish he'd just been hit by a truck instead. This is far worse.

Though this is worrying, one has to hope that he has some kind of love for his offspring and will refrain from ending their glorious reign as "____ Leader" before it even begins.

Also, I'm not sure that Kim would want a unified Korea. It would be impossible to prevent the SK's from enlightening the NK's about how their world is a false construct designed purely for the pleasure of the whichever Kim's in charge.

I could have sworn that at 10:21am Delta was implying that I was psychologically inferior!

Take a moment to consider this: how awful do you have to be to screw up a dictatorship?

You have complete control over an entire country. You can micromanage as much as you want, have full control over the workforce and military, and dissent is a non-issue. Your country is admittedly old fashioned and backwards. Still, where was NK's Great Leap Forward or Five/Seven/Twelve Year Plans? You could build some impressive infastructure on the backs of a well oppressed people.

Not only is the Ronry one a tyrannical dictator, he's BAD at it.

neelb420: Delta, are you implying that im psychologically inferior?

I think he was referring to the ailing North Korean leader dictator.

If DeltaXi65 won't make the implication that you are psychologically effed, I sure as hell will.

Just when I thought cancer was the most vile thing on the planet it goes and does something like this... AND TOTALLY REDEEMS ITSELF!

/Go CANCER! Kill someone who deserves it for once!

paulseta: "Oh boy! Long Pork from Dear Leader!"

must be from all the nuke tests. burn in hell you wierd nuke making lady.

just seeing if things are fixed and a i can post again.

(insert short freaky dude joke here)

King Jong Il has already designated his son as Crown Prince. He will become ruler when pop dies.

How long he lasts will be a different story. There are plenty of officials there, who, evil or not, are better qualified to run a country. Sooner or later, one of them will resent the fact that the new King rules simply because of who he is, and decide to do something about it.

emocomputerjock: snake_beater: bob_ross: WAIT A SECOND HERE... How can God die?

He's a slave to the power of death.

/got nothing

So he'll die as he lived?

Not what I was going for, but I have to give you points for subtlety.

/hint: I was listening to Flight 666 when I made that post
//any bets on how fast NK collapses after his death?

So, Kim will finally get to meet Michael...

Kim Jong-Ill. Still no cure for cancer... High five!!!

A new KJI is in the works. Looks like we need to drink some mojitos with Halle Berry in Cuba to solve this one...

Just when I thought cancer was the most vile thing on the planet it goes and does something like this, AND TOTALLY REDEEMS ITSELF!

/Go Cancer! Kill someone who deserves it for once!

The left side of his face just screams stroke to me.

I'm sure this is going in my Permanent Record, but GO CANCER.

For all the poor NK's that starved, or watched their family starve because this nullwit was in power, I HOPE IT HURTS LIKE HELL!

DIE YOU SICK, TWISTED, LITTLE STUB OF A MAN! MAY YOUR PEOPLE SOMEDAY PISS ON YOUR GRAVE!

FastJeff:

International
Yeltsin fights impeachment
Claims he's 'alive'

What a crappy Haiku...

My above double posts brought to you be a farked server and my hatred for NK's dear leader.

/was at first worried, then decided to just go with it.
//go cancer go!

neelb420: Blerg err durr durr moo hurrrrr

Dude, puff-puff-pass, 'k?

Good thing he has three of them

neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult, which dictates every statement and action by the very people in this forum. They are soulless, knee-less, mindless punk biatches that serve only one purpose which is to make everyone lazy, depressed, apathetic and stupid. The evidence I have, handed over by the same people who are sadistically controlling the weakest, laziest and dumbest civilian population on earth, the United Sates, proves without a doubt all my prior statements. The question is given that this evidence was PROVIDED TO ME by KIM JONG IL himself, does the United States DESERVE to be released from its shackles, when its population does not fight for its contractual rights at all whatsoever? The answer for me and anyone else with the cajones is that I dont give a shiat. I'm going to do it for myself. If you don't have the dignity, the self-respect or the will to have free will, then you can farking suffer and die in your socially, emotionally, sexually, intellectually and financially abusive paradise, betraying any sense of dignity or respect for your relatives that you could possibly have. It's well understood that the United States police departments and justice departments are corrupt, and also understood that the american people as a group are too lazy, apathetic and stupid to do anything about it, so what is the sense in providing this information in a forum such as this? To let you know one thing: The rest of the f'n world can see you now, and u look like (are) the biggest group of biatch-made pussies the world has ever seen. I'm not fighting for your country, and never would. Your people are pathetic, stupid and lazy to the point of cruelty. I'm fighting for persecution against myself, wherever I may be.

tl;dr

Good. I hope he dies soon, the world will likely be a better place.

knifefish Quote 2009-07-13 10:27:33 AM
Take a moment to consider this: how awful do you have to be to screw up a dictatorship?

You have complete control over an entire country. You can micromanage as much as you want, have full control over the workforce and military, and dissent is a non-issue. Your country is admittedly old fashioned and backwards. Still, where was NK's Great Leap Forward or Five/Seven/Twelve Year Plans? You could build some impressive infastructure on the backs of oppressed people.

NK had its "great leap forward" for real, right after the Korean War, through the 60's and part of the 70's. Daddy Kim (Kim Ill Sung) presided over faster growth than South Korea and technically standard of living was better in the North for a little while. That's command economy based on slave labour. Fast results at first.

But then stagnation came as such economies can never be terribly efficient or sophisticated. The South then got its act together and into the international export game, and the rest is modern history.

Bloody William: Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.



Thoroughly unamused.

EVERYBODY PANCREATIC

neelb420: Seriously what the fark kind of social life do you people think you're going to have? You live in a fantasy world existence where your gay freak cult has been manipulating stupid people through publishing companies for over a hundred years, now in the information society, you're screwed and your nothing but a circus freak show of losers nobody in there right mind, in the eyes of the worlds social network, is going to want to talk to, or care to talk to. So if your concerned about your social life, or reputation for not being "in" take a look at a world almanac or a census report and you'll see that worldwide there are millions of people (including women I might add) with IQs over 140 and I guarantee that not a single one of them would agree with this behavior. How does it perpetuate? Because 60% of the worlds population is factually mentally retarded due to a lack of education, resources which are deliberately hidden from a very large amount of people, while 85% of the worlds population is considered mentally retarded by the top 15%. Obviously, when you have statistics like that, it is easy to discover where all the social problems come from. When 85% of the population is controlled by 1% of the financially-elite population, those who own the publishing companies (and public education ideologies and methodologies), there is no evidence to suggest what the IQ is of that 1%, except data that shows that 60% of the worlds population is factually and mentally retarded and that over 60% of the worlds population lives in poverty. Obviously if you fall into that 85% category, you might conclude that if in this position, protecting your wealth is more important then protecting your conscience, but thats also why you work for free as a jizz mopper at a gay bar. The fact is that the wealth of the world is controlled by very stupid people, who deliberately make themselves dumber, all the while being completely unaware that they fall into this demographic which is probably why they feel that they are so good at marketing. Acting as cogs of corporations, they don't see there own folly. They may eventually conclude that it's possible when they pushed that crummy how to business guide with its social darwinist philosophy into private university courses, that they created the next Adolf Hitler, who went on to send the employees children into concentration camps for not buying Pepsi. Meanwhile, at another private university, the irrelevant Karl Marx is praised like kids hearing Michael Jackson for the first time..

lolwut

Prohest:

Shouldn't that read "Run DMZ"?

Doak: Myownepitaph: As an aside, we probably won't hear much about it but the politics surrounding succession are likely to be very interesting.

I thought it was fairly well established that he will be succeeded by Kim Jong Un.

Who will, in turn, eventually be replaced by Kim Jong Deux.

Panleatic?

Is he going to give a speech entitled "Rearry achieving your chirdhood dreams"?

Man, why couldn't George W. Bush get cancer.

There are more posts in this thread than words in that article.

FTFA: SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korean leader Kim Jong-il has pancreatic cancer, South Korean broadcaster YTN said on Monday in an unsourced news flash.

Yay! An unsourced newsflash!

Here's another unsourced newsflash: Obama is gay, and Hillary Clinton's vagina doesn't have teeth.

/My newsflashes have the same about of substance and credibility is TFA's. What a worthless article.

Too fast and not painful enough.

I wonder if good preventative medicine is removing your pancreas before developing pancreatic cancer? Know any doctors who don't mind breaking the Hippocratic Oath? DO ME HARM TAKE IT OUT!

neelb420: Seriously what the fark kind of social life do you people think you're going to have? You live in a fantasy world existence where your gay freak cult has been manipulating stupid people through publishing companies for over a hundred years, now in the information society, you're screwed and your nothing but a circus freak show of losers nobody in there right mind, in the eyes of the worlds social network, is going to want to talk to, or care to talk to. So if your concerned about your social life, or reputation for not being "in" take a look at a world almanac or a census report and you'll see that worldwide there are millions of people (including women I might add) with IQs over 140 and I guarantee that not a single one of them would agree with this behavior. How does it perpetuate? Because 60% of the worlds population is factually mentally retarded due to a lack of education, resources which are deliberately hidden from a very large amount of people, while 85% of the worlds population is considered mentally retarded by the top 15%. Obviously, when you have statistics like that, it is easy to discover where all the social problems come from. When 85% of the population is controlled by 1% of the financially-elite population, those who own the publishing companies (and public education ideologies and methodologies), there is no evidence to suggest what the IQ is of that 1%, except data that shows that 60% of the worlds population is factually and mentally retarded and that over 60% of the worlds population lives in poverty. Obviously if you fall into that 85% category, you might conclude that if in this position, protecting your wealth is more important then protecting your conscience, but thats also why you work for free as a jizz mopper at a gay bar. The fact is that the wealth of the world is controlled by very stupid people, who deliberately make themselves dumber, all the while being completely unaware that they fall into this demographic which is probably why they feel that they are so good at marketing. Acting as cogs of corporations, they don't see there own folly. They may eventually conclude that it's possible when they pushed that crummy how to business guide with its social darwinist philosophy into private university courses, that they created the next Adolf Hitler, who went on to send the employees children into concentration camps for not buying Pepsi. Meanwhile, at another private university, the irrelevant Karl Marx is praised like kids hearing Michael Jackson for the first time..

Look, I fully support your First Amendment rights to express your opinion...whatever that may be. what I don't support is awful writing. Learn to write like your talk, and you should be fine. Commas are pauses which naturally occur in conversation, paragraphs delineate a new thought, that sort of thing.

Unless you actually talk like that, in which case, up the dosage on the ADHD/Bipolar meds, or go back to taking them.

/bipolar type I bordering on schizophrenia, in the spirit of full disclosure.

Iwouldhitit: Prohest:

Shouldn't that read "Run DMZ"?

Kim's certainly got his yellow and green Adidas on.

In case any of you are feeling needly empathy for the vile tyrant, read this book.

/Once read that our spy satelites were trying to photgraph the prison camps. They couldn't figure out where the fences were, until they realized that they are the size of cities.

If Kim Jong Il dies, won't they have to kill all of his "look-a-likes"?

If confirmed, this would could help explain the recent irrational "shows of force" by North Korea. Essentially it would be NK attempting to cover up any "weakness" that potential enemies may see by a show of aggression. It's the same reason Saddam kept up the WMD scherade for so long. This is also something that wounded animals in the wild do to keep predators away.

It's all fake. They're only reporting it so in 5 years they can claim "Our Supreme and Honorable Immortal Leader Has Defeated Pancreatic Cancer"

neelb420: Seriously what the fark kind of social life do you people think you're going to have? You live in a fantasy world existence where your gay freak cult has been manipulating stupid people through publishing companies for over a hundred years, now in the information society, you're screwed and your nothing but a circus freak show of losers nobody in there right mind, in the eyes of the worlds social network, is going to want to talk to, or care to talk to. So if your concerned about your social life, or reputation for not being "in" take a look at a world almanac or a census report and you'll see that worldwide there are millions of people (including women I might add) with IQs over 140 and I guarantee that not a single one of them would agree with this behavior. How does it perpetuate? Because 60% of the worlds population is factually mentally retarded due to a lack of education, resources which are deliberately hidden from a very large amount of people, while 85% of the worlds population is considered mentally retarded by the top 15%. Obviously, when you have statistics like that, it is easy to discover where all the social problems come from. When 85% of the population is controlled by 1% of the financially-elite population, those who own the publishing companies (and public education ideologies and methodologies), there is no evidence to suggest what the IQ is of that 1%, except data that shows that 60% of the worlds population is factually and mentally retarded and that over 60% of the worlds population lives in poverty. Obviously if you fall into that 85% category, you might conclude that if in this position, protecting your wealth is more important then protecting your conscience, but thats also why you work for free as a jizz mopper at a gay bar. The fact is that the wealth of the world is controlled by very stupid people, who deliberately make themselves dumber, all the while being completely unaware that they fall into this demographic which is probably why they feel that they are so good at marketing. Acting as cogs of corporations, they don't see there own folly. They may eventually conclude that it's possible when they pushed that crummy how to business guide with its social darwinist philosophy into private university courses, that they created the next Adolf Hitler, who went on to send the employees children into concentration camps for not buying Pepsi. Meanwhile, at another private university, the irrelevant Karl Marx is praised like kids hearing Michael Jackson for the first time..

huh?

should say

"RUN DMZ Kim be Illin"

That article was about as long as his... Wang, get over here, you gotta see this.

corn-bread: If confirmed, this would could help explain the recent irrational "shows of force" by North Korea. Essentially it would be NK attempting to cover up any "weakness" that potential enemies may see by a show of aggression. It's the same reason Saddam kept up the WMD scherade for so long. This is also something that wounded animals in the wild do to keep predators away.

You're right about irrational, who the fark wants to invade the place? I'd figure everyone is just waiting for the regime to collapse then swoop in vulture style, buying the population off with aid.

My mom is fighting pancreatic cancer right now, and is now on her second form of chemo. (Most people don't survive long enough to make it past Gemzar.)

I hope the crazy bastard survives just long enough to pour a metric ass-ton of money into cancer research, then kicks the day after they come up with an amazing new treatment.

Boy, that's a damn shame.

I hope it hurts.... a lot.

He deserves it.

I thought he was a god? What do his people think of him now...oh, wait...his people are probably being told that it is a rumor created by the evil and scary Americans.

I will, forever and ever, hate cancer with every fiber of my being.

hearing things like this makes it hard for me to hate it as much as I do.

... oh, what the hell. this is Fark.

HOORAY!!!

clusterfrak: shanrick: Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

I finally went to the doctor last week for a checkup and the doctor told me that pancreatic cancer is not hereditary. That was a load off my mind. Figure my dad got from his pacreatitus caused by his love of Jim Beam and Coke. I don't drink sodas and only have a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend.

You sure? Jimmy Carter used to do commercials for fundraising for research into pancreatic cancer, and he mentioned it killed his father, brother and sister, IIRC. I just remember him rattling off several family members.

/no jokes about Carter and cancer, mkay?
//hope Kim's decline is length, slow and painful, like the death he gave so many Koreans.

neelb420:

Well, that's different.

neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult, which dictates every statement and action by the very people in this forum. They are soulless, knee-less, mindless punk biatches that serve only one purpose which is to make everyone lazy, depressed, apathetic and stupid. ..


Oops, say Jim, turn the mind-beam down a notch on this guy.

neelb420: I am fully up to the task and will be posting video evidence along with news reports in the weeks to come that proves that this is all a lie and that people like myself have 100% legal right, by international authority, to seek shelter and to have violent demonstrations against persecution. Even if that means doing it by myself, but I highly doubt that.

What the fark are you talking about?

AR55: AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

hmm. I wonder how the Japanese handled their leader "surrendering" to the inferior Westerners during WW2? Wasn't he also considered a God by the people as well?

I had this conversation with a Japanese woman once:

Her: Yes, my grandparents believed he was a god.
Me: What kind of powers did he have?
Her: Well, the power to win World War 2.

I guess it's pretty easy to find the point at which people stopped believing he was a god.

Tin Roof, Rust.

neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult, which dictates every statement and action by the very people in this forum. They are soulless, knee-less, mindless punk biatches that serve only one purpose which is to make everyone lazy, depressed, apathetic and stupid. The evidence I have, handed over by the same people who are sadistically controlling the weakest, laziest and dumbest civilian population on earth, the United Sates, proves without a doubt all my prior statements. The question is given that this evidence was PROVIDED TO ME by KIM JONG IL himself, does the United States DESERVE to be released from its shackles, when its population does not fight for its contractual rights at all whatsoever? The answer for me and anyone else with the cajones is that I dont give a shiat. I'm going to do it for myself. If you don't have the dignity, the self-respect or the will to have free will, then you can farking suffer and die in your socially, emotionally, sexually, intellectually and financially abusive paradise, betraying any sense of dignity or respect for your relatives that you could possibly have. It's well understood that the United States police departments and justice departments are corrupt, and also understood that the american people as a group are too lazy, apathetic and stupid to do anything about it, so what is the sense in providing this information in a forum such as this? To let you know one thing: The rest of the f'n world can see you now, and u look like (are) the biggest group of biatch-made pussies the world has ever seen. I'm not fighting for your country, and never would. Your people are pathetic, stupid and lazy to the point of cruelty. I'm fighting for persecution against myself, wherever I may be.

Anyone else want to jump in?

spelunking_defenestrator: INVINCIBLE POWER OF JUCHE IDEA WILL ANNIHILATE US IMPERIALIST WAR MACHINE! PRAISE TO KIM JONG IL, MOST BRILLIANT MILITARY COMMANDER AND GREATEST BENEFACTOR OF HUMAN RACE. LIKE TANK CRUSH SOFT FAT AMERIKKKA WAR MACHINE FOR SOCIALIST MARXIST-LENINIST CORRECT JUCHE POLITICAL IDEA!

Someone has been reading the Korean Central News Agency press releases. Truly hilarious stuff.

neelb420

I think you are lost. Try prisonplanet or one of the Chem-Trails sites?

Since they have government health care over there, I'm sure he'll be fine soon.

gibbon1: jj325: My mom lasted three months with pancreatic cancer. Hope this bastard lasts longer and suffers more.

I am sorry about your mother. The comment about pancreatic cancer that sticks with me was a doctors comment when the emperor of Japan was dying from it. King of Pain.

What was the comment?

AdolfOliverPanties: How will the brainwashed citizens of NK wrap their brains around the fact that Dear Leader is not a God?

They'll be told that the U.S. was responsible. Just like in the Iranian elections.

Reports leak out of atrocities at North Korean labor camps
http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20050515/news_mz1e15howard.html

Prisoners are provided just enough food to be kept perpetually on the verge of starvation. They are compelled by their hunger to eat, if they can get away with it, the food of the labor-camp farm animals, as well as plants, grasses, bark, rats, snakes and anything remotely edible. In committing such desperate acts driven by acute hunger the prisoners simultaneously incur the extreme risk of being detected by an angry security guard and subjected to a brutal, on-the-spot execution.

Not surprisingly, the prisoners are quickly reduced to walking skeletons after their arrival. All gulag survivors said they were struck by the shortness, skinniness, premature aging, hunchbacks, and physical deformities of so many of the inmates they saw upon arriving at the gulag. These descriptions parallel those provided by survivors of the Holocaust in infamous camps like Auschwitz.

Nightmaretony: neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult, which dictates every statement and action by the very people in this forum. They are soulless, knee-less, mindless punk biatches that serve only one purpose which is to make everyone lazy, depressed, apathetic and stupid. The evidence I have, handed over by the same people who are sadistically controlling the weakest, laziest and dumbest civilian population on earth, the United Sates, proves without a doubt all my prior statements. The question is given that this evidence was PROVIDED TO ME by KIM JONG IL himself, does the United States DESERVE to be released from its shackles, when its population does not fight for its contractual rights at all whatsoever? The answer for me and anyone else with the cajones is that I dont give a shiat. I'm going to do it for myself. If you don't have the dignity, the self-respect or the will to have free will, then you can farking suffer and die in your socially, emotionally, sexually, intellectually and financially abusive paradise, betraying any sense of dignity or respect for your relatives that you could possibly have. It's well understood that the United States police departments and justice departments are corrupt, and also understood that the american people as a group are too lazy, apathetic and stupid to do anything about it, so what is the sense in providing this information in a forum such as this? To let you know one thing: The rest of the f'n world can see you now, and u look like (are) the biggest group of biatch-made pussies the world has ever seen. I'm not fighting for your country, and never would. Your people are pathetic, stupid and lazy to the point of cruelty. I'm fighting for persecution against myself, wherever I may be.

Anyone else want to jump in?

neelb420: Seriously what the fark kind of social life do you people think you're going to have? You live in a fantasy world existence where your gay freak cult has been manipulating stupid people through publishing companies for over a hundred years, now in the information society, you're screwed and your nothing but a circus freak show of losers nobody in there right mind, in the eyes of the worlds social network, is going to want to talk to, or care to talk to. So if your concerned about your social life, or reputation for not being "in" take a look at a world almanac or a census report and you'll see that worldwide there are millions of people (including women I might add) with IQs over 140 and I guarantee that not a single one of them would agree with this behavior. How does it perpetuate? Because 60% of the worlds population is factually mentally retarded due to a lack of education, resources which are deliberately hidden from a very large amount of people, while 85% of the worlds population is considered mentally retarded by the top 15%. Obviously, when you have statistics like that, it is easy to discover where all the social problems come from. When 85% of the population is controlled by 1% of the financially-elite population, those who own the publishing companies (and public education ideologies and methodologies), there is no evidence to suggest what the IQ is of that 1%, except data that shows that 60% of the worlds population is factually and mentally retarded and that over 60% of the worlds population lives in poverty. Obviously if you fall into that 85% category, you might conclude that if in this position, protecting your wealth is more important then protecting your conscience, but thats also why you work for free as a jizz mopper at a gay bar. The fact is that the wealth of the world is controlled by very stupid people, who deliberately make themselves dumber, all the while being completely unaware that they fall into this demographic which is probably why they feel that they are so good at marketing. Acting as cogs of corporations, they don't see there own folly. They may eventually conclude that it's possible when they pushed that crummy how to business guide with its social darwinist philosophy into private university courses, that they created the next Adolf Hitler, who went on to send the employees children into concentration camps for not buying Pepsi. Meanwhile, at another private university, the irrelevant Karl Marx is praised like kids hearing Michael Jackson for the first time..

This is awesome and fantastic post, probably one of the nuttiest things I've ever read.
The run-ons, the dubious statistics, Godwinning; it's gotta be for real, a mere troll couldn't do it.

I'm gonna save this and post it as copypasta on /b/ for sure. It's probably tl/dr, but so much win in one giant paragraph has to be shared.

Why is babby Il die?

logophile: Hail Hail the witch is dead?
the original lyric is "ding dong", the guy's name is a phonetically similar "Kim Jong" and you went with "hail hail?"
hm.

Stop, you're both right. There were two songs. "Hail, Hail, The Witch is Dead" was sung in the Emerald City after The Wicked Witch of the West melted - 'twas essentially the 1939 counterpart to "No One Mourns the Wicked". That was cut from the film, but is on the soundtrack album, along with "Jitterbug".

jonny_ill: Bloody William: Eh, I don't think he'll actually step down until he's caught trying to marry a boy adventurer dressed like Princess Leia, breaking his nation's gay marriage laws and giving the opportunity for the rebellion to install a girl Hitler.

Thoroughly unamused.

Hey, you mess with the girl UND YOU GET ZE HITLER!

AgentOrangeDrink:
Hey, you mess with the girl UND YOU GET ZE HITLER!

Yes! I've been thinking about that line since breakfast, after I saw the Girl Hitler pic. "Mess with the cat and you get the claws..." needed a follow-up of that stature.

I'm supposed to cheer for Kim Jong-Il's Advanced Imminent Death Syndrome here. Since I don't dig black magic, I'll just wish his nation a speedy grieving process and that butterscotch sundaes will replace NK's national emaciation.

Mirrorz: WOLVERINES!!!


Swayze Feels your Pain.

Is he ghostin' like Swayze?

/got nothin'

do they still have those two female americans in labor prison?

tukatz: If Kim Jong Il dies, won't they have to kill all of his "look-a-likes"?

Hey, they're probably already starving them all, inducing strokes and trying to give them cancer so they look like dear leader.

neelb420: The CIA is the head of this international personality cult, which dictates every statement and action by the very people in this forum. They are soulless, knee-less, mindless punk biatches that serve only one purpose which is to make everyone lazy, depressed, apathetic and stupid.

Seriously, get some help. A shrink is much less expensive than a long jail term, loosing whatever career you may have, and alienating everybody you know. Medication and counseling can help you, in all probability.

I don't even know what side of what issue you are ranting about. I jumped to the last page and saw your quote. I myself have benefitted from the kind of help I recommended. I had a long career, never was arrested for anything, and still have friends and family. Do it, its worth it.

rastjr: Reading through this thread is sad. How can everyone be happy about a person getting cancer, suffering and ultimately dying.

Even the worst person is a human being. I know this won't make mae any friends but let's not rejoice over someone's suffering. It's just not right.

This is Farkistan, where the lowest common denominator is Farkistanians feeding off of the misery of others. Especially those who deserve it.

Have they invented morphine in DPRK yet? Because if not, that would just be fantabulous.

I was in Korea when his dad joined the maggots.
My Sgt told me that what was coming was worse.

So maybe we should stick with the devil we know.