So I says, I says, 'English, muthaf**ka, do you speak it?', and he was like all, 'What the hell?', and I was like, 'Don't make me get all medieval on yo ass', and he was like...

...no YOU hang up..... noooo, YOU hang up....

Hack Patooey: sxacho: That's "B" as in "boy.
"A" as in "apple".
"R" as in...

You know what? It's Bob. My name's Bob.

You could at least credit me for the shoop.shiat. I'm sorry about that. I didn't even realize I had grabbed yours. I thought it was the original.

If it helps, I voted for you.

I'M IN UR OVAL OFFICE NOT WEARIN' A SUIT.

alubold: onebadgungan -
The thread was over with that one. Major props.

Why, thank you. Thank you very much.

Dude, you were so right about the warm water. Biden pissed himself and didnt even wake up!

Trust me, this crackers know all about grape soda now. Hey, you want a Newport?

So then I sez to Ethel, I sez....

I know Ester Rolle is dead, but as long as Jimmy J.J. Walker is alive I order you remake the show. And this time have Halle Berry play Thelma.

"Please, baby. I am NOT from Havana."

"Yeah, I know... can you believe the voters bought the bullshiat we spun?"

"Yeah, I'm rich and powerful...the stimulus WAS just a fraud, and I don't care at all about middle America! HAHAHAHA!"

WAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP Fidel !?!?

No, no it's all good man. They don't even have a clue! The press!? The press! It's crazy man I don't even have to wipe myself anymore. Got'em stand'in in line outside bathroom.

Yea I know, how true, how true. Where is that biatch McCarthy when they REALLY need him? You so funny Fidel!

Say man, send me some more of that hidden camera celebrity porn. OK if you insist - I'd like the 2hour Beyonce/Halle Berry combo. You 'da man Fidel.

Hey what's up with my man Hugo? He don't call anymore.

...look, you'll need to break open the window in order to stop the poison gas from entering your room, so get something heavy, like the toilet tank lid and smash the mirror to get the axe and gas masks that are hidden behind it...

Duuuuuude!