How you d'O'in?

Yeah. DEPARTMENT of LAW!!! I know, right?!?

Yeah, I read Larry Sinclair's new book & it's all true..haha but nobody believes him.

Rove was shouting that he's been a bad boy and was begging Jeff Gannon to spank him. One of the maids told me that she heard the whole thing. She said that it took them weeks to get the stains out of the carpet in the Lincoln bedroom!

mediablitz

www.law.state.ak.us

She was referencing the national equivalent of what she has in Alaska.

But you KNEW that, amirite?

"Yeah, so I tells them, I tells them 'It's working, you guys just got to give it more time.' I know, can you believe it?? Almost $800 Billion and nothing to show for it, not even an idea WHERE it went.

"I don't know why we Democrats didn't think of this sooner! The word 'Simulus' allows us to spend money on ANYTHING."

Yeah, I'm TOTALLY wearing a polo shirt in the Oval Office while the photographers are here! Another "scandal" for the 22-percenters to harp on about for the next few days. Bwahahahahaha!"

PapermonkeyExpress: She was referencing the national equivalent of what she has in Alaska.

But you KNEW that, amirite?

That's the excuse? Seriously? Doesn't change she's seriously uninformed about the White House.

/can't think of a caption, but that was too stupid to let by

PapermonkeyExpress: mediablitz

www.law.state.ak.us

She was referencing the national equivalent of what she has in Alaska.

But you KNEW that, amirite?

Know how I know you're an apologist?

PapermonkeyExpress: She was referencing the national equivalent of what she has in Alaska.

But you KNEW that, amirite?

Yes, I knew that. I also know that state department STILL has nothing to do with going after people for libel. You KNEW that too, amirite?

Hello? Who? Dick? Dick Cheney, you old scoundrel! How the heck are ya? A what? A pardon? Oh, Dick, you SLAY me! Dig this: I've decided not to close Guantanamo entirely. Think Rudolf Hess, knowaddamean?

"It was awesome! I told them I wanted a KFC in the White House, and they actually said 'we'll get right on it!'"

"...yes, last name Butts, first name Seymour."

"Hello, John McCain, is your refrigerator running?"

"I know man, that ass was bumpin'! If Michelle wasn't there I would have tapped that so hard..."

"... And so Biden says 'Honey, this one's eating my popcorn!'"

"No really, I'm The President and I'm calling you from the Oval Office. Go ahead, star 69 me and you'll see. No, they never even asked to see my birth certificate!"

As part of this administration's efforts to bring the deficit under control, I'd like to take the time to mention that the warranty on your vehicle is about to expire...

"The first thing I do...is talk to corporate! LIKE A BOSS!"

"lolwut?"

Yes, I heard about Kim Jong-Il

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Obama Phone!

I can't believe I'm paying .99 a minute for this...

"No, she can't come to the phone, her mouth is full."

"So Sonya...what are you wearing?"

7th Son of a 7th Son: Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Obama Phone!

Damn you.


I can't use it and I can't even vote for it.

7th Son of a 7th Son: Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Obama Phone!

DAMMIT!

Of course I was scopin' the booty, baby! I just told Michelle I was responding to someone's question!

Hey Sarko, it's Barack. Dude, she's 17.

Can you hang on a sec, I need to smile for this photo. So ya as I was saying, we are pretty much farked. Anyway, how's your mom doing?

Hey Sarko, it's Barack. Dude, she's 17.

/with votey

7th Son of a 7th Son: Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Obama Phone!

this is why we can't have nice things

"Yes. That's what I said. Go ahead and arrest Cheney now. And don't forget to get his farkhead lawyer David Addington. Naw, leave Dubya alone. You wouldn't arrest are retard would you? Then again, they do in Texas. OK, bring him in too."

"yes, I *did* get that hilarious email you forwarded me."

yeah thats two large meat lovers and two italian subs . . . yeah thats right

"Firearms Friday? I just wanted to say I agree with the last caller, Ted. God Bless Sarah Palin and her family!"

Hey, Sarko buddy, don't worry. Michelle doesn't suspect a thing. Trust me on this.

I got a man!

What's your man got to do with me?

I got a man!

I'm not tryin' to hear that see.

No Shiat, she thinks she thinks she wants to be a democrat now? This is going to be hilarious.

Hey, is this Rush? It's Obama. I know you're in commercial right now, so I'd just like to tell you that, according to my teleprompter here, Reverend Wright and Richard Ayers were up here in the Oval Office last night helping me lick dijon mustard off of that underage Brazilian girl's ass.
[pause]
Just stay calm, man, the ambulance will be there soon.

"No... the white phone..."

"200 roses for two hours? How many for the whole night?"

"Ha ha, no. Mo. You're not going to get me to say 'why'd he'. Wait! Aww shi--"

[CLICK]

"Yeah, yeah they're actually buying into it. Yeah, trillion dollars. Nope, just printing it up. Chinese are backing it, It's great. This has been too easy. Welp, I gotta run. See ya later, Satan."

Yes, sir, Mr. bin Ladin. Right away sir. No, sir, I don't think I'm the one running this country. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I'll get right on that, sir. Allah Akbar!

"Ok Ok...the itsy bitsy spider wen..."

"Hello? Eros Escort Agency? Where all the white women at?"

is it working yet?

"No, I don't want any of that new grilled shiat. I want the FRIED chicken bucket."

"HA, I know! Hope. Change. Can you believe the suckers fell for it?"

I came here looking for a picture of Obama holding the phone upside down. Oh Farkers, why can't you give the people what they need?

And, last one...

"When I want the opinion of a wise Latina woman, I'll beat it out of her"

"HA, I know! Hope. Change. Can you believe the suckers fell for it?"

/Now with voting

"Hello, Bill? Man, you were right about hiring Monica as an intern"

/Can't help myself!

...double pepperoni and NO anchovies. Yep, on my tab... what do you mean no more credit?

"If you know what happened in the Mets game don't tell me, I taped it. Hello?"

"Mayora Mayora....I had a feeling I'd be hearing from you..."

"No dudes, seriously. I am sooo totally *not* messing with you, dudes! Totally seriously, dudes! I'm sitting right here, right now, with my finger on the button -- while high!

"Where da white wimmin at?"

"Yeah, so then I emailed Boenher back this picture of a dog barking into a sprinkler."

"So I says, 'I'm sorry Michelle, I can't hear you over how bangin' that young girl's ass is.'
[pause]
Hell yes she was pissed but, fark it, aint like I was getting laid that night by that point anyway."

Ooga Booga...where da white women at?

DrSieb: Ooga Booga...where da white women at?

Freeper?

diceofdeath: DrSieb: Ooga Booga...where da white women at?

Freeper?

I see you turned my hilarious caption into a political comment (I think). I'm Canadian, so I don't really lean left or right. Maybe I'm just racist...maybe.

mediablitz

That would be the "Justice" Department, not "State"

/Christ, at least KNOW what you're supposed to be outraged about.


"So I logged on to FARK the other day......"

DrSieb: diceofdeath: DrSieb: Ooga Booga...where da white women at?

Freeper?

I see you turned my hilarious caption into a political comment (I think). I'm Canadian, so I don't really lean left or right. Maybe I'm just racist...maybe.

Oh, so like all Canadians, you have not a shred of political bias. On the other hand, you may be a complete bigot.

"Yeah, those guys will never get to see my real birth certificate!"

Hey, when I hold the phone with the cord on the bottom like this, I can hear people!

That's my skull, I'm soooo wasted!!!!

"The president is seen negotiating with Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, smiling after offering missile technology while his assistants mail a DVD explaining the proper use of the Photoshop clone tool"

"Yeah, I know... that dude said 'Hey Ladies', and I couldn't get the cowbell out of my head either!"

"Yea. Senator, I just want to thank again for the calculator watch."

"If you think the stimulus package was a pile, you should see the size on the one I pinched off in Biden's bathroom and didn't flush. That place is going to smell like a Yetti when he gets back."

"Dirka Dirka Mohammad Jihad"

Sir, this is the police. The call is coming from inside the house. Get out fast.

Yeah, send 4 pounds of pretzels to W. Maybe we'll get lucky this time.

6655321: Sir, this is the police. The call is coming from inside the house. Get out fast.

Too late. I made the first reference to "When a Stranger Calls". Go back and look.

Will somebody please do something about this hoser?

Yes, Commissioner, we'll be there right away. TO THE BARACKMOBILE!!

Hello? Thailand? How's everything on your end? Uh huh. That's some language you've got there. (chuckling) And you talk like that 24/7, huh?

"Yeah, it was working fine for a while and then it just stopped! It's a TelePrompt DX-1000, hang on, let me get the serial number."

ACORN needs another $5,000,000,000? No prob, homey.

Jersey Tim
"Hello, John McCain, is your refrigerator running?"

i have something to add to that, if you don't mind me doing so:

"cause if it is, i bet it runs like you....
very homosexually."

/"Family Guy" ftw
//props to you

Shut . . . DOWN . . . EVERYTHING!!!!

I think he's trying to say we're not being sufficiently reverential to the sitting Commander in Chief.

"Yo, Black radio? You best be playin' this (newz windich)
Yes, I go there often, and I did.

Hello? Hello, Dmitriy? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitriy. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine

"...no.. you hang up first.."

Wow, George was right, it does work better this way.

"Yeah, no shiat. Can you believe it? All the fried chicken and watermelon a nubian can eat up in this house."

Wow, George was right, it does work better this way.



Now with votey goodness

Hillary? You sound groggy as shiat. Is it 3AM where you are? Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!

TheGreatZarquon: "It was awesome! I told them I wanted a KFC in the White House, and they actually said 'we'll get right on it!'"



/oblig
//not mine
///no caption, no votee

"Yeah Bill I gave her the line you told me. Yes I made sure to put emphasis on 'entry level position'. Well I can't say too much because I'm being photographed; but, let's just say I rammed my ding dong up her rocky road into her peanut butter cup. Yeah Im taking precautions that she doesn't pop out a baby ruth. What?!?! Out her vajayjay what did you think I meant?"


/Type40 that was the stupidest block of text ever. I only read it to see if you were goin somewhere with it and the answer is no.

//Hoser, let me know when the WoW servers are back up ok?

UnspokenVoice: "Yeah, no shiat. Can you believe it? All the fried chicken and watermelon a nubian can eat up in this house."

That was so unoriginal I wish I could unvote on it to deduct points.

1nsanilicious: "Yeah Bill I gave her the line you told me. Yes I made sure to put emphasis on 'entry level position'. Well I can't say too much because I'm being photographed; but, let's just say I rammed my ding dong up her rocky road into her peanut butter cup. Yeah Im taking precautions that she doesn't pop out a baby ruth. What?!?! Out her vajayjay what did you think I meant?"


/Type40 that was the stupidest block of text ever. I only read it to see if you were goin somewhere with it and the answer is no.

//Hoser, let me know when the WoW servers are back up ok?

You've never seen Dr Strangelove? I was just amazed noi one posted it before me.

PapermonkeyExpress: mediablitz

www.law.state.ak.us

She was referencing the national equivalent of what she has in Alaska.

But you KNEW that, amirite?

There is no national equivalent dumbass.

Oh Dial-A-Joke, yes you can make me laugh.

Did you hear? Kim Jong-il got cancer.... I guess that secret plan worked!

/got nothing
//apolitical, nothing to base it on

Obama..."What hangs upside-down, and has a little d*ck?"

Person on phone..."A bat?"

Obama..."Correct. Now what has a big d*ck and hangs up?"

I was about to go Presidential on dat ass.

Awww, yeah! In about two seconds, I'm gonna give Michelle down there the ol' "BOOM! Headshot!" Ya'know'I'm'sayin'?

LoLz! And next I'm taking over health care and then who knows? Maybe we can have a red, white and blue hammer and sickle? No one will dare call me on it, this is a blast!

"What -- breaking the law? C'mon, how can that be when nothing I'm doing is even listed in the Constitution?"

"Is this Patrick?"

No, YOU hang up first! No, you.....You didn't hang up! I love you MORE. No, YOU hang up first!

Swampthing in Korea: "HA, I know! Hope. Change. Can you believe the suckers fell for it?"

/Now with voting

It's always sad when someone puts in so much effort for such little quality and so few votes.

Right, good, now take the mattress and throw it out the window. (snicker)

Did you see that 17 yr old Brazilian girl's booty? Dam, she's got the butt of a black woman! I'ld Cap and Trade that like ther was no tomorrow!

"I know; I know. I still can't believe they're calling me the first black president, when I'm only half black and was raised by my white relatives! I'm more like the first minstrel president."

Yankees Team Gynecologist: Swampthing in Korea: "HA, I know! Hope. Change. Can you believe the suckers fell for it?"

/Now with voting

It's always sad when someone puts in so much effort for such little quality and so few votes.

You forgot to enable voting.

What the hell is the Aluminum Falcon??

"Oh my God, this War on Recession is gonna rule! I can't wait until the War is over and there's no more recession!"

//apologies to GYWO.

Perhaps it would be better if you bill me for the flowers, I'm sure it'll be all right with your boss... Well, I don't know if you recognize my voice, but this is the president... Of the United States!... Hello?

"You've gotta do the cooking by the book. You know you can't be lazy."

Mr. Telephone man
There's something wrong with my line,
When I dial my baby's number
I get a click every time

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am."

"You use a phone with a cord? Yeah, yrr ghey, too."

"Yup, I'm a lightweight."

Yeah. I got a new teleprompter. It's telling me to smile.

"Yeah, baby. I was totally checking out your booty. Fooled everyone into thinking I was helping some fat chick down the stairs, but I was really checking you out. Wanna come over and have a cigar with me? No? Dang... it worked for Bill."

Hello? Dick Cheney? Tell me, how did you fool Liberals in Congress into believing Iraq had WMDs so you could invade Iraq? That would help me when the time comes for Iran.

BTW, your daughter is hot. Oh what? She's a lesbo!? Dayyyummm!

LOL. What?????? Pictures of bottle rockets?!? You one bad motha.....you shut yo mouth dog!!!!

Kudos, jdreich. Bring on the Sorkin references!

\

'So I came up with...'saved or created jobs'....it's impossible to prove but it's also impossible to dis-prove...and the lemmings who voted for my are too stupid to understand that."

whereisian: لا أستطيع أن أصدق أنها تراجعت عن ذلك

I lol'd.

Crude: What the hell is the Aluminum Falcon??

Should have enabled voting, I lol'd.

"Yeah, find two Arab guys and have them stand in line behind Bill ORLY at White Castle and say things like "I'm glad he's a Muslim" and "I can't wait for that law banning Christmas to get passed." Oh, yeah, it'll be on his next show. Really, he's that gullible; it'll be hilarious."

And today I visited the 57th state, and I got a buckit stuck on my head and I got a stimulus and I got a unicorn and....wha? Penis goes where?

onebadgungan -
The thread was over with that one. Major props.

What the fark is my problem?

"I hear you man. I also think Fark should have greenlighted a Sotomayor hearing thread in the Politics tab too. Probably a bunch of white male admins today."

That's "B" as in "boy.
"A" as in "apple".
"R" as in...

You know what? It's Bob. My name's Bob.

Want to vote for limboslam but can't. Tarnations

OK, guess no one's answering,
Well can't you just let it ring a little longer, longer, longer?
I'll just sit tight, through the shadows of the night,
And let it ring for evermore

PapermonkeyExpress: "Yeah, so I tells them, I tells them 'It's working, you guys just got to give it more time.' I know, can you believe it?? Almost $800 Billion $1.5 trillion and nothing to show for it, not even an idea WHERE it went.

"I don't know why we Democrats Republicans didn't think of this sooner! The term 'Simulus' War on Terror allows us to spend money on ANYTHING."

\

'So I came up with...'saved or created jobs'....it's impossible to prove but it's also impossible to dis-prove...and the lemmings who voted for my are too stupid to understand that."

My favorite part is where Fonz says "AAAYYYYYEE"! Hilarious every time.

Hopefully not to late in the game to post this. tldr other posts if someone already did it.

No she's in Texas at the moment but let me tell you if all the women in Texas looks like Michelle's momma the Lone Ranger is going to be lonely a long time.

Yeah I'm lickin ua ballz. Best ballz I evah had. Ya ballz are big. Ya got King Kong ballz.

/not obscure

brigid_fitch: Yeah, I'm TOTALLY wearing a polo shirt in the Oval Office while the photographers are here! Another "scandal" for the 22-percenters to harp on about for the next few days. Bwahahahahaha!"

"I'm in the office on a Sunday! What are YOU wearing?"

sxacho: That's "B" as in "boy.
"A" as in "apple".
"R" as in...

You know what? It's Bob. My name's Bob.

You could at least credit me for the shoop.

Yeah, biatch stole my fish too!

"AAHHHH these biatches said they wanted change! AAAHAHAHA"

Type40: Hello? Hello, Dmitriy? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitriy. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine

1nsanilicious: /Type40 that was the stupidest block of text ever. I only read it to see if you were goin somewhere with it and the answer is no.

Type40: You've never seen Dr Strangelove? I was just amazed no one posted it before me.

Well, I got it. But maybe that's because I saw it again for the second time just a few days ago. Kids today, huh?

//One votey from me

So I says, I says, 'English, muthaf**ka, do you speak it?', and he was like all, 'What the hell?', and I was like, 'Don't make me get all medieval on yo ass', and he was like...

...no YOU hang up..... noooo, YOU hang up....

Hack Patooey: sxacho: That's "B" as in "boy.
"A" as in "apple".
"R" as in...

You know what? It's Bob. My name's Bob.

You could at least credit me for the shoop.shiat. I'm sorry about that. I didn't even realize I had grabbed yours. I thought it was the original.

If it helps, I voted for you.

I'M IN UR OVAL OFFICE NOT WEARIN' A SUIT.

alubold: onebadgungan -
The thread was over with that one. Major props.

Why, thank you. Thank you very much.

Dude, you were so right about the warm water. Biden pissed himself and didnt even wake up!

Trust me, this crackers know all about grape soda now. Hey, you want a Newport?

So then I sez to Ethel, I sez....

I know Ester Rolle is dead, but as long as Jimmy J.J. Walker is alive I order you remake the show. And this time have Halle Berry play Thelma.

"Please, baby. I am NOT from Havana."

"Yeah, I know... can you believe the voters bought the bullshiat we spun?"

"Yeah, I'm rich and powerful...the stimulus WAS just a fraud, and I don't care at all about middle America! HAHAHAHA!"

WAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP Fidel !?!?

No, no it's all good man. They don't even have a clue! The press!? The press! It's crazy man I don't even have to wipe myself anymore. Got'em stand'in in line outside bathroom.

Yea I know, how true, how true. Where is that biatch McCarthy when they REALLY need him? You so funny Fidel!

Say man, send me some more of that hidden camera celebrity porn. OK if you insist - I'd like the 2hour Beyonce/Halle Berry combo. You 'da man Fidel.

Hey what's up with my man Hugo? He don't call anymore.

...look, you'll need to break open the window in order to stop the poison gas from entering your room, so get something heavy, like the toilet tank lid and smash the mirror to get the axe and gas masks that are hidden behind it...

Duuuuuude!