You'd think these people would die almost immediately from loss of blood. The train's wheels probably cauterized the wounds...ugh.

He wasn't looking for a handout, just wanted to get a leg up...

If he was serious, he'd put his neck on the track.

suicide FAIL.

should have just parked a car in front of it.

"The victim, named Matt, recovered from his injuries and spends all of his time lying on the porch by the front door of his house."

Right.

Man tries to commit suicide by laying on train tracks, is stumped by his failure

Wrong.

/obligatory

That's funy.
He should do stand up.

Great headline subby, I lol'd.

+1

All I can think is:

"Here comes a lawsuit"

/Doesn't have a leg to stand on
//Not a litigator
///Nor plays one on TV

That's pretty good, but he's going to have to step it up to beat taxi guy.

FTFA "and two people died after being struck by the same train "

Hmmm...

"Lost some limbs"
Makes him sound Like a tree.

When discussing lost limbs, how many is "some?"

just from stumped i started laughing to myself.....then thought of that character on South Park that had no legs for some reason.

Barnacles!: "The victim, named Matt, recovered from his injuries and spends all of his time lying on the porch by the front door of his house."

That's no longer true. He got a job as third base at A T & T Park.

This comes to mind:

I thought of the song "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" when I saw this.

Californication FTW

Just euthanize the poor bastard.

Oremor Cir: When discussing lost limbs, how many is "some?"

More then one, but less then all.
I think.

PersonaNonGrata: I thought of the song "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" when I saw this.

The railroad don't run no more...

You didn't save my life, you ruined my death, that's what ya did!

oblig

I do believe the man should be given the choice of humane euthanization.

How awful to be so horribly horribly unhappy and so desperate to escape the pain and to fail at that last one task you assign yourself. Only to find yourself survived but now limbless. Without limbs he won't even be able to finish the job.

I drove past this place on my way home from work yesterday. The police were placing items in a large clear plastic bag at Webster and Embarcadero. I thought someone had died since the coroner's wagon was departing at about the time I drove by. There were a couple more teams at 5th and Embarcadero as well, but I guess that was to collect items from last week's attempt.

avictor: I do believe the man should be given the choice of humane euthanization.

How awful to be so horribly horribly unhappy and so desperate to escape the pain and to fail at that last one task you assign yourself. Only to find yourself survived but now limbless. Without limbs he won't even be able to finish the job.

Dr. Kevorkian is still pushing for this.

Fluff Girl: Barnacles!: "The victim, named Matt, recovered from his injuries and spends all of his time lying on the porch by the front door of his house."

That's no longer true. He got a job as third base at A T & T Park.

Not true. Bob likes to stay in his pool these days.

he faced the train? yikes i wouldnt want to see it coming.

I cringed.

Amtrak spokeswoman Vernae Graham said the eastbound Capitol Corridor train No. 536 was leaving Jack London Square when it struck the man at Webster Street at 3:37 p.m.

I was told there would be no math!

FAIL tag on vacation?

Maybe he just wanted a cute pair of wings and a halo?




/Spoilers?

eagles95: just from stumped i started laughing to myself.....then thought of that character on South Park that had no legs for some reason.


"You don't count Halfy, you don't have any legs"

The M.A.S.H theme song lied to me.

farfigneugan: FTFA "and two people died after being struck by the same train "

Hmmm...

Sounds like we have a rogue train on our hands. We better put him down

gopher321: You'd think these people would die almost immediately from loss of blood. The train's wheels probably cauterized the wounds...ugh.

Cauterizing requires high heat. Chances are the wheels just pinched the wound closed long enough.

farfigneugan: FTFA "and two people died after being struck by the same train "

Hmmm...

Obviously that train is out for blood.

LessO2: FAIL tag on vacation?

Too mean.

/submitter

Two Dogs Farking: Too mean.

/submitter

I expected more out of TotalFarkers.

Lt. Dan.........?

avictor: I do believe the man should be given the choice of humane euthanization.

How awful to be so horribly horribly unhappy and so desperate to escape the pain and to fail at that last one task you assign yourself. Only to find yourself survived but now limbless. Without limbs he won't even be able to finish the job.

Yeah, and now he's going to be a burden on his family and the taxpayer, which I'm sure he really wanted when he decided to kill himself.

This is the saddest Fail ever.

vertiaset: A friend of mine killed himself in San Diego this way a month ago. He sat on the tracks, then according to witnesses, when he heard the train, stood up, turned around, crossed his arms and just waited for the train to hit him.

You have to be in a lot of pain to do this.

There have been quite a few in the Bay Area lately.

They posted cops at a train crossing where a few kids ate train near a Palo Alto high school. Three different kids on different occasions decided to do it around there.

There was an old guy who rode the tracks the wrong way... he did it during the morning commute. I only saw the body bag (and the coroner picking up bits), but apparently some folks on earlier trains saw the dismembered & shredded corpse while the cops were investigating.

/California is great, blah blah blah. Come for the weather, stay for the malaise & the annual budget crisis.

Gonna let you in on a little secret.
We CAN swerve out of the way.
We are just Aholes I guess.....

All those incidents appeared to be suicides, according to investigators.

Or homicides given that it's Alameda County. Land at Oakland airport and take BART to Frisco, it's Detroit East. No matter how you do it, it's good to get out of there.

Oremor Cir: When discussing lost limbs, how many is "some?"

More than one, less than all?

PersonaNonGrata: I thought of the song "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" when I saw this.

Californication FTW

That's what I came here for. Leaving satisfied.

leonel: gopher321: You'd think these people would die almost immediately from loss of blood. The train's wheels probably cauterized the wounds...ugh.

Cauterizing requires high heat. Chances are the wheels just pinched the wound closed long enough.


Let's see. Metal wheels rolling on a steel track at high speeds.


Sounds like it may produce some heat.

musashi1600: Maybe he just wanted a cute pair of wings and a halo?

/Spoilers?

I will quote you, because that was a damned good show. Apparently some things are obscure on Fark.

Bunnyhat: leonel: gopher321: You'd think these people would die almost immediately from loss of blood. The train's wheels probably cauterized the wounds...ugh.

Cauterizing requires high heat. Chances are the wheels just pinched the wound closed long enough.


Let's see. Metal wheels rolling on a steel track at high speeds.


Sounds like it may produce some heat.

Is this your thesis Dr.Bunnyhat? It would also disperse said heat fairly quickly, owing to moving air and such, but I'm just copying your method ;). Pinching does have some precedent though, really. I think it'd probably be like a tourniquet, but it smooshes the flesh together so it doesn't need constant force.

The arteries tend to clamp shut for a short time after a traumatic injury to a limb. If the limb is tourniqueted quickly you have a good chance of survival. Train wheels are not hot enough to cauterize.

He was chuffed to bits.

Oh well...maybe next time...