Ciocia: Tall is beautiful! I'll sadly never know as I'm only 5'1...and can never see a darn thing in a crowd. Nor can I use top shelves because I always have to lug a chair over.

The_Sponge [TotalFark] Quote 2009-07-11 04:09:35 PM
Southwest needs to bring back go-go boots and hot pants:

THIS!!!!!! YES YES YES!

Glendale Quote 2009-07-11 07:18:13 PM
Nocens: Donald_McRonald: vertiaset: Hey young people. There was a time when air travel was glamorous and exclusive. You ate from china, the Stewardesses were all pretty young women. Service was how the airlines competed with one another. Even in coach you had room to stretch out and relax. People dressed up to travel. Men wore suits, women nice dresses. You rarely saw children on flights and when you did they were well behaved and quiet. Poor people didn't fly, they road the bus.

Pretty sure poor people still ride the bus.


That'd be the really poor.

I stopped flying entirely. Between TSA, cramped seats, rude stewardesses, the skimpy meals, fat people with no deodorant bleeding into my seat even in 1st class, it's just too much.

I drive now. I used to hate driving cross country when I was a kid but it was the cramped cars back then. An Expedition makes it comfy and relaxing.

If some enterprising individual could bring back luxury trains and a realistic scheduling system I'd ride it. 2 farking days in Chicago? Whatever, AmCrack.

When the Union Pacific #844 and its retro passenger/baggage cars (26 long, I think) came through town I asked if they offer rides. The answer was no; they do charity rides and stuff like that, but otherwise apparently it's illegal and would "compete" with Amtrak.


Ahhhh yes Nationalized, Subsidized, Passenger Trains. Government don't like competition.

gawdzilla:
And my stems? Yes, they are magnificent ;)

Virgin also has hot stewardesses

/Got nothin'

Came for a Kool aid reference, leaving disappointed.

/you guys are slipping
//But I do love what you done with this thread

ciocia: And my stems? Yes, they are magnificent ;)

That statement is worthless without pix. :)

How come every where I go, I'm subjected to unattractive fat people?

I realize that these people deserve to work, but it should be in places where I can't see them.

Everyone thought my ex-wife was a size 0. But she wore a size 8, just skinny.

My current wife is a size 8, but is way curvier (where it counts) and isn't as long and skinny as my first wife.

I'll never figure out these chick sizes.

glompoc: Stewardesses were an obvious target for the feminists because they were forced to retire at age 35 (OMG! the discrimination!) But realistically it is the the ideal job for a young single female who is footloose and fancy free, and not a life time career.

First rule about labor politics is that every single job on the face of the planet should be a life time appointment. This is why people argue that one should be able to raise a family of four on a single salary flipping burgers or bagging groceries. Not only that, but no job should ever go away. If technology moves on, tough, people who made the old technology need to remain employed making it. If manufacturing techniques improve so certain tasks are no longer needed, the politics of labor will demand that the tasks be done the old way, forever.

BTW, has anyone ever done an environmental impact study of overweight crew members? How much CO2 does that needlessly create? Shouldn't stewardesses be small to save the planet?

ciocia: And my stems? Yes, they are magnificent ;)



/EIP :)

Claudia Chafer: TopoGigo: Claudia Chafer: Runningjoke: Claudia Chafer: I ended up shopping with one of my wife's friends one evening. The woman had a tiny waist but huge breasts. I kept getting her a larger size to hold those suckers in!

Such a great night!

In other words, sizes might not work if your tits are huge.

Are you a man?

Last time I peed I had a penis in my hand, so quite likely.

/unless it was someone else's
//penis

Are sure it was your hand it was in?

/mouth

Sadly, I am home alone, so it was probably with Palmala Handersen.


Although back to the shopping story, it sure is a fun feeling knowing you can get someone elses wife to show off her tits to you.

You can borrow my wife if you like. After a few drinks, she'll show you her tits. Fair warning, though, she will absolutely not shut the fark up for ten seconds. Oh, and she's a little chunky too.

There are some size 18'ers that carry it off so well they are totally bangable to me.
Just wanted to say that. Some, of course, don't pull it off at ALL.

Fat is when the muffintop or worse isn't caused by the pants being far too tight.

AtlanticCoast63: /like the fist of an angry, flight-suited God...

WTF is wrong with her lips?

AbbeySomeone: lstywnch: brigid_fitch: Plus size starts at 14W, which is like a 16 Misses.

When I still worked in retail selling women's clothing they actually had 10Ws.

What confuses me is size 14 or whatever with P for petite. Don't they mean short and squat?
12/14 are the first sizes to sell out.

In other news, lying to fatties is good business. And I say that with a bunch of fattie porn sites bookmarked.

//There's a difference between "nicely rounded" and fat.
//Ew

chocolatepuke: That anorexic woman in the shot above might wear a size 0, but it would be baggy on her. That is unless she's 5'9 or above. I'm 5'5, wear a size 2 and I'm nowhere near that skinny. I have DD boobs! And no, my clothes are not too tight.

Good thing you don't have a profile counter and pics or the resultant clicking might have brought the interwebs down quicker than Michael Jackson's funeral...
/so I clicked
//sue me

You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: zero vs 18

Sorry subby. Size 18 is fatty

Ew. I wasn't into the idea of a size 18, but if you had to give me a choice between them, I'd toss the sack o antlers out the window.

rewind2846 2009-07-11 08:45:02 PM

AtlanticCoast63: /like the fist of an angry, flight-suited God...

WTF is wrong with her lips?

...looks down...
Well for one,they are not where I was hoping to find them...

AtlanticCoast63: /like the fist of an angry, flight-suited God...

100 and 69% agreed!

vertiaset: I was just reading an article. A pound of human fat is about 3500 calories. A gallon of gas is about 31,000 (technically I think these are kilocalories). So, someone who is 80lbs overweight. Has enough EXCESS energy stored in their bodies to propel a 2,000 lb automobile a hundred miles or more at freeway speeds.

If you think about how difficult it is to PUSH a car just a block or two at walking speed. This is just amazing.

I knew there was a reason I favorited you.

JustTheTip: Came here to say the same thing. Took a flight last week, and the fat-assed stewardess smacked me with her hip lard every time she went by. Didn't even try to turn or say "excuse me" or anything.

well gees what do you expect... she would have to stop every 1.5 seconds and excuse herself and then in doing that she would probably end up smacking someone else and then she is stuck in a vortex of apologie and wont go anywhere.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: ScottHimself: What kind of porn are you seeing that you wish you hadn't?
I wish I had never seen a transvestite shoving two fingers up a man's urethra.
/answered it

That ain't right...

ciocia: bikerbob: how come nobody has mentioned the ghey male attendants prancing up the isle with fingers apart and palms down? i about puked when they lisped/sang the emergency procedures over the intercom with all the dramatic gestures. i didn't even want them to breathe near me. of course there was the obligatory fat black ass in my face attendant who needed feminine hygiene lessons.

7/10. You managed to piss off the fat people, gays, and blacks, in 4 sentences. Nicely done.

Not to mention pissing of reasonable people of all sorts.

ThunderPants: /link is hot as this stewardess flight attendant.

Oh god, I saw that video on a flight. She is soooooo hot, I'd leave my boyfriend for her in an instant. Of course to soothe his broken heart I'd secretly tape our hours and hours of hot, wet girl on girl sex and mail some to him. Mmmm she's so farking hot.

Gawdzila: ciocia: Are we talking health or aesthetics? I'm a size 12, and a BMI of 22. I'm also 5'9"--not a supermodel, but about average.

Well, health and aesthetics tend to follow each other, although I was talking about aesthetics. I admit that I was probably being too general, since clothing size isn't exactly a precise indicator for either of those things.

I'm aware that clothing sizes are relative to other factors, like hip width or height. For instance, you're quite tall -- 3-4 inches above average -- so a size 12 means something different for you than it would for someone who was closer to the 5'5"-ish average. I know you already know that, I just wanted to clarify that I'm not drawing a line at Size 9 and calling people above that fatties or anything. I'm certain that your size 12 looks very nice at your height, plus I bet you have some nice long stems to boot ;)

I'm 5' 10 and wear a 12, sometimes 10 or 14 depending on the cut and maker. Busty, not fat. 12/14 most average sizes in America.

ciocia: flamingboard: serpent_sky: My fiancee used to ask me what size I wear, and he thought I was being coy and weird, so I showed him all the random tags.

in reality he probably just wanted to buy you something but didn't want to get you the wrong size and make you mad. being a girl you immediately put more into that and labled him coy and weird. sometimes a question is just a goddamn farking question.

//women
///batshiat insanity since year 0

HE thought she was being coy and weird, not HER. Reading comprehension. It could be your friend.

doh, i totally blew that one

lamecat: ThunderPants: /link is hot as this stewardess flight attendant.

Oh god, I saw that video on a flight. She is soooooo hot, I'd leave my boyfriend for her in an instant. Of course to soothe his broken heart I'd secretly tape our hours and hours of hot, wet girl on girl sex and mail some to him. Mmmm she's so farking hot.

Working awfully hard for that Total Fark sponsorship, ain't ya?

CruiserTwelve: FTA: "If the dress wasn't a tiny size 18, there would be less," Reller said. "It's a very small size 18, so that makes the numbers a lot larger."

What the hell are you trying to say there, Reller?

I think they're trying to say that their size 18 fits like a normal size 16 would.

Unlike a company such as Land's end where the fit is generous. Got a Jacket in XL(Usually a great fit for a 14) and it fit like it was made for Attila the hun. Just massive everywhere.

lamecat: ThunderPants: /link is hot as this stewardess flight attendant.

Oh god, I saw that video on a flight. She is soooooo hot, I'd leave my boyfriend for her in an instant. Of course to soothe his broken heart I'd secretly tape our hours and hours of hot, wet girl on girl sex and mail some to him. Mmmm she's so farking hot.

You sound male.

We really need to get back to the era of hot stewardesses. Last flight I took, the air-hags on board made me want to vomit. I say fire them as soon as they get above size 4.

stiletto_the_wise: We really need to get back to the era of hot stewardesses. Last flight I took, the air-hags on board made me want to vomit. I say fire them as soon as they get above size 4.

It's not likely... airlines have to save their money and hot chicks know how much they are worth. Besides, all the anti-discrimination legislation would make such a hiring policy suicidal.

The airlines would have to increase pay for stewardesses radically.

stiletto_the_wise: We really need to get back to the era of hot stewardesses. Last flight I took, the air-hags on board made me want to vomit. I say fire them as soon as they get above size 4.

For some reason, I read that as "set them on fire" as soon as they get above size 4.

//Loves me some voluptuous womens
//Hates fatties

stiletto_the_wise: We really need to get back to the era of hot stewardesses. Last flight I took, the air-hags on board made me want to vomit. I say fire them as soon as they get above size 4.

By golly, you are right. When I went to a store to buy stuff, the guy who waited on me had a pot belly. The nerve of that loser! I say, if you don't have washboard abs, GTFO. And the guy who checked me into a luxury hotel? He had a big nose. Damn, I was ready to call the management. What right do homely people have waiting on anybody? Can't they all be forced to work in salt mines underground? Or shot?

AbbeySomeone: I'm 5' 10 and wear a 12, sometimes 10 or 14 depending on the cut and maker. Busty, not fat. 12/14 most average sizes in America.

size 12/14 at 5'10" is one thing, size 12/14 at 5'0" is another. Most of the women that make that the 'average' are closer to the later, not the former.

ciocia: stiletto_the_wise: We really need to get back to the era of hot stewardesses. Last flight I took, the air-hags on board made me want to vomit. I say fire them as soon as they get above size 4.

By golly, you are right. When I went to a store to buy stuff, the guy who waited on me had a pot belly. The nerve of that loser! I say, if you don't have washboard abs, GTFO. And the guy who checked me into a luxury hotel? He had a big nose. Damn, I was ready to call the management. What right do homely people have waiting on anybody? Can't they all be forced to work in salt mines underground? Or shot?

Heh.

This, minus the irony.

The_Gallant_Gallstone:
The airlines would have to increase pay for stewardesses radically.

I, for one, would pay for it. In fact, since the airlines love to charge all these fees nowadays, I'll list some fees I'd be GLAD to pay for more costly service. Listen up, Delta marketing whizzes:

Guaranteed all female staff: $5
Guaranteed all female staff size 4 or less: $15
Guaranteed all female staff, size 4 or less, age 25 or younger: $50
Above, wearing 2-piece bikinis: $75
Guaranteed no children on the flight younger than 5: $15
Guaranteed no children on board younger than 13: $25
Open bar for flight duration: $50
Policy where passengers are ejected from the flight if their rolls of fat overlap into adjoining seats: $40

There you go, you could double or triple the price of the ticket if you just offered things people wanted.

lamecat: ThunderPants: /link is hot as this stewardess flight attendant.

Oh god, I saw that video on a flight. She is soooooo hot, I'd leave my boyfriend for her in an instant. Of course to soothe his broken heart I'd secretly tape our hours and hours of hot, wet girl on girl sex and mail some to him. Mmmm she's so farking hot.

Ahh the dream of every man, a video sent to him by his ex sleeping with chicks...

AeAe: My girlfriend is 5'5", 115 lbs, and is a size 0.

/ don't like fatties

Your girlfriend is a skelator.

Fabric_Man: Hot like a Mac 11

One grenade.

AbbeySomeone: I'm 5' 10 and wear a 12, sometimes 10 or 14 depending on the cut and maker. Busty, not fat.

The court demands evidence!
Where are exhibits A and B? ;)

leadmetal: size 12/14 at 5'10" is one thing, size 12/14 at 5'0" is another. Most of the women that make that the 'average' are closer to the later, not the former.

Yes.
The average height for women in America is something around 5'5".
Also note that America has something of a weight problem, in general.
Size 12 at average height is likely not particularly flattering.
Size 12 on a woman who is getting close to 6-foot is just fine.
Of course, all of this depends on things like bust and hip measurements as well. Clothing sizes are not particularly descriptive, other than broad generalizations like there are no fat people who are Size 2, and no slim people who are Size 16.

Tweets Pie: AeAe: My girlfriend is 5'5", 115 lbs, and is a size 0.

/ don't like fatties

Your girlfriend is a skelator.

This. Curves, for teh win.

aagrajag: ciocia: stiletto_the_wise: We really need to get back to the era of hot stewardesses. Last flight I took, the air-hags on board made me want to vomit. I say fire them as soon as they get above size 4.

By golly, you are right. When I went to a store to buy stuff, the guy who waited on me had a pot belly. The nerve of that loser! I say, if you don't have washboard abs, GTFO. And the guy who checked me into a luxury hotel? He had a big nose. Damn, I was ready to call the management. What right do homely people have waiting on anybody? Can't they all be forced to work in salt mines underground? Or shot?

Heh.

This, minus the irony sarcasm.

ciocia: What right do homely people have waiting on anybody? Can't they all be forced to work in salt mines underground?

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter ;)

I hate airline travel so much, they could hire playboy models as stewardesses, have them work in cheerleader uniforms, and I STILL will not fly.

This thread still needs more pics.

Tweets Pie: AeAe: My girlfriend is 5'5", 115 lbs, and is a size 0.

/ don't like fatties

Your girlfriend is a skelator.

Nah. She works out and is very toned. Nice boobies. It's all good.

UnspokenVoice: Just yell at them out the window if you see a fatty. They might give you the finger but you know damned well they can't run long enough to actually catch you. If you're like a buddy of mine you get a rather nasty fine for hitting one with an empty beer can while ri
ing as a passenger. I'd not recommend following him though.

Oh, hell yeah... I'm 6'0 and a size 16 and I haul my 201 pounds through a couple of triathlons a year. I might be fat, but I'm a fat triathlete.

Hit me with with a beer can and I'll run you down and stomp your walnut sized balls into a testicle pate.

Gawdzila: ciocia: What right do homely people have waiting on anybody? Can't they all be forced to work in salt mines underground?

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter ;)

You know, I've waited a long time for a "subscribe to your newsletter" and THIS, but I hoped when they happened, the people would actually agree with me. I guess you can't have everything.

hippydippy: UnspokenVoice: Just yell at them out the window if you see a fatty. They might give you the finger but you know damned well they can't run long enough to actually catch you. If you're like a buddy of mine you get a rather nasty fine for hitting one with an empty beer can while ri
ing as a passenger. I'd not recommend following him though.

Oh, hell yeah... I'm 6'0 and a size 16 and I haul my 201 pounds through a couple of triathlons a year. I might be fat, but I'm a fat triathlete.

Hit me with with a beer can and I'll run you down and stomp your walnut sized balls into a testicle pate.

Can I be the president of your fan club?
I can write newsletters.