Here's an idea.

1.Put on a Santa suit.
2. Wedge yourself in the chimney
3/ Traumatize all family members for decades to come

Unknown_Poltroon: Unknown_Poltroon: kb7rky: Epsilon: ...If you really want to do yourself in, a drug overdose is much more polite.

But it ain't anywhere near as spectacular...

FYI: Do it where a family member wont farking find it.

Oh, and lay down a goddamn tarp. And shoot a last video message so no one gets accused of your murder. ANd for gods farking sake, do it quiet so a street full of witnesses dosent have to watch.

I hate you. Bastard.

/jk

IIIIIIIII ain't got no baaaaa deee....

Oznog: And a lungful of pure CO2 will not kill you. I've huffed an empty 2-ltr bottle before, for no particular reason. It's all CO2 inside. Exhale, put your mouth on it, and inhale while squishing the bottle.

Very strong urge to inhale from the CO2 surge, a little lightheadedness. Otherwise, nothing remarkable- my heart didn't stop. No, I didn't see dead people or funky colors or whatever. I didn't expect to. I was just bored.

I did that at a paintball tournament once...my nose felt like I had just sneezed soda. Kinda stumbled around for a few seconds as the feeling wore off.

One huff of straight CO2 won't kill you. Now, if you wanna try and breathe it for a few minutes, that might do the trick, but you'll be fighting the sensation of suffocating.

CheetahOlivetti: RocketRod: What's that in the road a head?

There was a spherical object a-restin' in the highway. And it wasn't a piece of the car.

I've had Raising Arizona quotes popping into y head all day today. True!

If suicide doesn't disturb you you're not human.

Farker T: Ed Grubermann: soosh: that'd be quick and relatively painless.

Not really. Getting your head ripped off hurts. Quick and painless? You want a motorcycle helmet lined with high explosives. Turn your brain into vapor before the neurons have a chance to register anything.

Slim had the right idea...
Link (new window)



Instant conversion from matter to energy. That's how I want to go!

"But I know we'll meet again some sunny day..."

Best movie/suicide scene ever. Other than this Link (new window)

SherKhan: If suicide doesn't disturb you you're not human.

We're not all INFJs on the Myers Briggs, ya know?

Declines comment.

Fano: Here's an idea.

1.Put on a Santa suit.
2. Wedge yourself in the chimney
3/ Traumatize all family members for decades to come


Not impressed.

Lenny_da_Hog:

We're not all INFJ

Whoa... Oh my. Man. Bro. New term internalized. Dude... I.. I .. I love you, man. You know that? I do. You're me. I'm you. We're the walrus, man. We are the walrus.

Just tape his head back on and sell him to a blind kid.

/He was pretty old.
//Got nothin'

Lenny_da_Hog: We're not all INFJs on the Myers Briggs, ya know?

UGH I hate that personality typing shiat. Especially when someone like one of my coworkers gets ahold of it and decides it's absolutely the bombshell to end all bombshells in human psychology and relationships.

Not a way I want to go.... A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.

lstywnch: Lenny_da_Hog: We're not all INFJs on the Myers Briggs, ya know?

UGH I hate that personality typing shiat. Especially when someone like one of my coworkers gets ahold of it and decides it's absolutely the bombshell to end all bombshells in human psychology and relationships.

So do I.

But as I said, this thread appeals to the baser instincts, and I shall wallow in the slime with the rest of the swine....

lstywnch:

UGH I hate that personality typing shiat. Especially when someone like one of my coworkers gets ahold of it and decides it's absolutely the bombshell to end all bombshells in human psychology and relationships.

I just want you to know that I forgive you. I don't know if I have to forgive you or what but I do. And you don't have to accept it. I'll forgive that too.

SherKhan: Lenny_da_Hog:

We're not all INFJ

Whoa... Oh my. Man. Bro. New term internalized. Dude... I.. I .. I love you, man. You know that? I do. You're me. I'm you. We're the walrus, man. We are the walrus.

/hug
//love
///cry

Lenny_da_Hog:

///cry

*recoiling terrorist fist jab. Resumption of unquestionably manly mannerisms*



Arrrr!

SherKhan: I just want you to know that I forgive you. I don't know if I have to forgive you or what but I do. And you don't have to accept it. I'll forgive that too.

Pardon me while I barf.

Flatulent_Flea: cksewell: I wonder what his Fark handle was.

Roland?

Headwig.

OK, yeah, that one was pretty damn disturbing. Thank god it wasn't noon, or the traffic jam would have been surreal.

There are some who call me Tim: Not a way I want to go.... A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only. There is no stopping in a red zone.

two hands short of "the awesome."

A friend of mine wants to do it like this:

Strap yourself with a load of explosives.
Go stand out on the ledge until a crowd gathers.
Jump.
As the crowd looks up and gasps with their mouths wide open, scream "EAT ME!" and push the button.
*BOOM*
Bits of you come raining down into their gaping maws.

Bill_Carson: Escape Cla

THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

lstywnch:

Pardon me while I barf.

Of course I forgive you. It's what I do.

kb7rky: There are some who call me Tim: Not a way I want to go.... A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only. There is no stopping in a red zone.

Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

That's why I say hey man nice shot.

Mister Peejay: Of course, there will be those few seconds of unpleasant sensations, so you could always go with the buckshot to the brainpan. Instant dead.

Make sure you get your whole head in front of the shotgun. Thank you for calling!

/What about that lady that got the face transplant? She was shot in the face with a shotgun, and she survived.

Ed Grubermann: Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

If you ever got pregnant I would seriously consider forcing you to abort. I think the pain of labor and delivery would be a serious risk to your health and well being.

/not having a womb, which is nobody's fault. Not even the Romans.

Rule one of committing suicide:

If something is driving you to suicide, kill it first.

/quiet desperation, my ass.

lstywnch: Ed Grubermann: Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

If you ever got pregnant I would seriously consider forcing you to abort. I think the pain of labor and delivery would be a serious risk to your health and well being.

/not having a womb, which is nobody's fault. Not even the Romans.

Don't you oppress me!

lstywnch: Ed Grubermann: Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

If you ever got pregnant I would seriously consider forcing you to abort. I think the pain of labor and delivery would be a serious risk to your health and well being.

/not having a womb, which is nobody's fault. Not even the Romans.

But I say that, whether or not he's got a womb, he has the *right* to have a womb, if only so he can have the right to an abortion.

bunner: Rule one of committing suicide:

If something is driving you to suicide, kill it first.

/quiet desperation, my ass.

The majority of the time, it's the person's mind driving them to suicide. So I would say most people actually follow that rule.

Ed Grubermann:

I know you want me to have an abortion!

And here is the intersection between want and need. I want every ant to live a life unsquashed by my foot. I need to get my beer. Guess which wins.

If I make no sense, blame beer. I've imbibed a bit.

Lenny_da_Hog: lstywnch: Ed Grubermann: Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

If you ever got pregnant I would seriously consider forcing you to abort. I think the pain of labor and delivery would be a serious risk to your health and well being.

/not having a womb, which is nobody's fault. Not even the Romans.

But I say that, whether or not he's got a womb, he has the *right* to have a womb, if only so he can have the right to an abortion.

But where's he going to keep the fetus, then? In a bloody box?!?

Ed Grubermann: kb7rky: There are some who call me Tim: Not a way I want to go.... A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only. There is no stopping in a red zone.

Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

myalias1845: The majority of the time, it's the person's mind driving them to suicide. So I would say most people actually follow that rule.

So, all suicides are delusional and have no basis for their desperation and anger in daily circumstances beyond their control?

I'm gonna need some sort of credentials on that, Sigmund.

Gyrfalcon: Lenny_da_Hog: lstywnch: Ed Grubermann: Don't you give me that red zone crap! I know you want me to have an abortion!

If you ever got pregnant I would seriously consider forcing you to abort. I think the pain of labor and delivery would be a serious risk to your health and well being.

/not having a womb, which is nobody's fault. Not even the Romans.

But I say that, whether or not he's got a womb, he has the *right* to have a womb, if only so he can have the right to an abortion.

But where's he going to keep the fetus, then? In a bloody box?!?

Oh, thank you for playing, but we've moved on past that line into something improvisatory. Would you like to read that and try again?

I guess that's one way to squeeze a black-head.

Lenny_da_Hog: But I say that, whether or not he's got a womb, he has the *right* to have a womb, if only so he can have the right to an abortion.

But where are they going to suck the fetus out? Through his navel?

Fano: BUnny suicides (new window)
for more ideas

Came here for this. Took 200 posts, but still glad it's here.

bunner: myalias1845: The majority of the time, it's the person's mind driving them to suicide. So I would say most people actually follow that rule.

So, all suicides are delusional and have no basis for their desperation and anger in daily circumstances beyond their control?

I'm gonna need some sort of credentials on that, Sigmund.

Never said "all." But yes most. Working in law enforcement, the majority of reports that come through are either people with health or money issues that can't cope and/or mental issues who just don't know how to deal with every day life. Obviously people have done it for every reason out there, but I think it all comes down to one's own perspective on life and how to deal with it.

Was he a Brit?

...or a Yank?

I dont get it. Why are they trying to figure out if he was "a genuine black cab driver"? Either he was black or he wasnt. I would think they could tell from either the body or the head.

myalias1845: Never said "all." But yes most. Working in law enforcement, the majority of reports that come through are either people with health or money issues that can't cope and/or mental issues who just don't know how to deal with every day life. Obviously people have done it for every reason out there, but I think it all comes down to one's own perspective on life and how to deal with it.

Poor buggers. :- /

If he had really had his wits together he would have rigged up a system to cause a jack-o-lantern to end up on his neck after his beheading.

Uchiha_Cycliste: If he had really had his wits together he would have rigged up a system to cause a jack-o-lantern to end up on his neck after his beheading.

How much you want to bet he thought of that the second he stepped on the pedal and was like, "damn!"

Johnny Bananapeel:

Tie the balloons to your head, then when your head rips off it floats away into the sky.

Githerax: Johnny Bananapeel:

Tie the balloons to your head, then when your head rips off it floats away into the sky.

Attach a stand magnifier to a headband, then walk outside on a sunny day.

Hey... at least it worked. Prior to rtfa I had visions of a dude climbing a 15m communcations tower and tying himself off with 20m of piano wire.