Next week: Nanny State outlaws rope.

Sounds like a farker.
Wasn't me.

Get a rope.
/oh wait

FTA: Ambulance services attended at 12.40am and the man was pronounced dead at the scene.



That's some fine police work there, Lou.

That's no way to get ahead in life.

I submitted this hours ago with a different headline and got the Bad Kitty message.

Wait, different HEADline? LQTM(laugh quietly to myself)

I agree with subby though, this is a spectacular suicide. It's clever, inventive, probably quick and has a high level of creepiness for it's method and location.

50mm: That's no way to get ahead in life.

I guess he wasn't very headstrong.

Uchiha_Cycliste: 50mm: That's no way to get ahead in life.

I guess he wasn't very headstrong.

He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

/going to hell

50mm: Uchiha_Cycliste: 50mm: That's no way to get ahead in life.

I guess he wasn't very headstrong.

He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

/going to hell

Not the time to lose one's head.

FTFA: The death happened shortly after midnight at a disused petrol station

I read midnight as midget.

I wonder what his Fark handle was.

cksewell: I wonder what his Fark handle was.

Roland?

The death happened shortly after midnight at a disused petrol station yards from a 24-hour cafe used by black-cab drivers.

and

Police were trying to trace the driver's next of kin today. They were also trying to establish if the dead man was a genuine black-cab driver.

Seems that the cops and journalists in London are unapologetically hung up on race. For shame.

I've read about this kind of suicide before, but this is indeed the only time I read about it today (so far).

that'd be quick and relatively painless.

If I ever decide to check out and I can't locate large quantities of morphine, I want to go out going over a big-ass waterfall somewhere. There's a nice 500-footer here in town that's not hard to get to the top of.

And Britain is full of CCTV cams EVERYWHERE.

Some Metro PC bloke has some fantastic Youtube-able stuff right there.

I'd post a Highlander-Christopher Lambert-Kurgan-there can be only one-Queen-Don't Lose Your Head-photo but I'm too tired.

What his casket may look like.

AW FTW

What's that in the road a head?

RocketRod: What's that in the road a head?

heh.

RocketRod: What's that in the road a head?

There was a spherical object a-restin' in the highway. And it wasn't a piece of the car.

Flatulent_Flea: cksewell: I wonder what his Fark handle was.

Roland?

Brilliant.

?

I can't remember where I read it, but this was the most entertaining suicide idea I've ever seen:

1: Tie piano wire around your neck, other end around balcony.

2: Superglue hands to side of head.

3: Jump.

4: When you hit the ground, it will look like you ripped your own head off in midair.

This is not new, I've heard of people doing it before. All you need is 100 feet of rope, one end tied securely around your neck, the other end tied securely around a telephone or power pole. Then you hit the gas and as soon as the slack runs out, BOOM! Instant decapitation.

The worst part is that it's a particularly messy and disgusting death. If you really want to do yourself in, a drug overdose is much more polite.

Flatulent_Flea: Really? Exactly the same way?

I witnessed someone do this about 11 years ago, using a chain instead of a rope. It wasn't so public a place as this incident though.

/the images, they haunt

Epsilon: If you really want to do yourself in, a drug overdose is much more polite.

Unless you're not found for a week or so, and turn into a putrefied puddle of maggoty goo. If you DO choose to do that at least have the forethought to FedEx your suicide note with your apartment door key to the coroner's office the day before, so they can collect you before you're room temperature.

He should have quit while he was a head.

No wait, while he was making headway.

what's a headway?

about eight pounds.

It's not noose, it's Fark.com.

I heard he gives good head

Well that's putting your neck on the line.

I've heard of losing your mind but damn...

Solid State Vittles: It's not noose, it's Fark.com.

*cringelolcringe*

Solid State Vittles: It's not noose, it's Fark.com.

win.

he always wanted road head.

soosh: lt's better to go like this than in some senseless tragedy.
l mean, l'd rather burn in at 300 miles an hour and have some laughs...than to eat it in a car accident.
l mean, that's a really dumb way to go.
Oh, hey.
l got to tell you about my dream.
You're gonna get into this.
This is great.
No, really. The one thing l want to do...before l join the cosmos
is to hang-glide off of Mount Everest.


Wait. This is the best part. lt's naked!

Yeah, man.

Yeah, we're almost there, buddy.
The drop zone's dead ahead.

Which one of you geeks grabbed the wrong chute? Who's got my laundry?

I love that movie.

/approves

eqtworld: At least he won't have to read all these stupid puns

They giving you a headache?

cksewell: What his casket may look like.

/this

//thread over

After reading the comments, I have come to realize that people in the UK just aren't snarky enough.

Keep your eyes on the road, pal

TheGreatZarquon: I can't remember where I read it, but this was the most entertaining suicide idea I've ever seen:

1: Tie piano wire around your neck, other end around balcony.

2: Superglue hands to side of head.

3: Jump.

4: When you hit the ground, it will look like you ripped your own head off in midair.

/might try that one day

The story forgot to mention that the headless torso successfully navigated two right turns and a stop light.

Now that would have been spectacularly disturbing.

Wasn't there a story a while back about a guy who did this in a Aston Martin DB9? Trying to get back at his wife who was divorcing him by racking up a ton of bills her name and then offing himself?