I was told there would be no math.

Inspector: One merment. I must take some nerts. My nertbook. Nem of the figative?

Mabel: figative?

Inspector: Figative! F-U-...

Mabel: Up yours too froggy! Oh...fugitive!

/wanted a pic
//couldn't find one
///obscure?

TommyymmoT: Why are they not arrested on a continuous basis?

They let criminals roam the streets until the numbers are impressive enough to warrant some big ass self serving media event?

It's quite obvious that they already knew where the bad guys were.
Were they waiting for mom to get back with the family minivan or something?

Could you imagine your rage if one raped and murdered your child, and they knew he was capable of it, but didn't want to pick him up because it was a Friday, and news coverage of the bust would have gotten lost over the weekend?

Scumbags.

Maybe they should campaign to raise taxes to pay for more cops, so that the Feds don't have to come in and help them out?

Eh, the states have nothing on 45 per 100,000 murder rate of the US Virgin Islands, with less than a 33% solvency rate.

/beats any US state city for murder

I'll move to Cleveland when you get that IKEA... Never!

Cubansaltyballs: bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

Detroit and Wasilla.

That's some good stuff there.

But were any of them utes?

The private bounty hunters must be on summer vacation.

normally called GOP conservative anal sex nigt

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm sure I speak for a handful of people who are sick and tired of paying to sustain life for repeat violent offenders and perverts. Put their ass on the firing line and let God have mercy on their soul.

/no trolling
//dead serious

Cleveland still sucks.

wippit: Inspector: One merment. I must take some nerts. My nertbook. Nem of the figative?

Mabel: figative?

Inspector: Figative! F-U-...

Mabel: Up yours too froggy! Oh...fugitive!

/wanted a pic
//couldn't find one
///obscure?

Not enneh mehr!

Impeach Cheney First: WPIX's Million Dollar Movie, "The Figative," starring Timmy Lee Jones and Wesley Snips will return after these messages.

I hate to sound picky, but I believe that movie starred Timmy Lee Jones and Hirrisin Ford.

cantsleep: I hate to sound picky, but I believe that movie starred Timmy Lee Jones and Hirrisin Ford.

This. Wisley Snipes was in Pissinger 57.

Hey, has anybody else noticed that Subby misspelled "fugitive"?

Wanebo: calbert: Wanebo: Wait. let me figitive this out...

what's a 'figitive'?

Someone who has stolen fruit from a tree that mainly grows in the mediterranean?

FTFA: "Often when we find fugitives in hiding, we have other fruits of their crimes."

Sheesh, don't you people read?

If you add all that up, do you get the plot of the final episode from Lost?

I figure I like figitives, particularly emperor figatives fresh from my neighbors figgy tree.



Hmmmmm fresh figs.

\figgity

Fark you, Subby, Maff is hard!

How many of them were figgers?

/what?

Very punny, Subby...

ZOMG!!!11! a "spelling" error!!1! No way it could possibly be a play on words - I'll be DAMNED if I READ the article to find out!!!1! It's too much fun to assume Subby and the Mods are morans.

/Out like a fat girl in dodge ball

HAMMERTOE: cantsleep: I hate to sound picky, but I believe that movie starred Timmy Lee Jones and Hirrisin Ford.

This. Wisley Snipes was in Pissinger 57.

More importantly Wesley Snipes was in US Mirshall's also staring Timmy Lee Jones and a younger Ribert Downey Jr.

And as it was sort of the sequal to Figitive, it makes sense that someone referenced that.

GoSlash27: Hey, has anybody else noticed that Subby misspelled "fugitive"?

Also "marshals", included an unnecessary hyphen in "sex offenders", and in general wrote such a terrible headline that just reading it made me drunk.

As for "do the math":
35,000 * 2,356 * 433 * 82 * 2,400 *1,211 = 8,509,429,882,464,000,000 in units of (fugitives)*(sex offenders)*(murder suspects)*(firearms)*(kg narcotics)*(from Clevelands).

I think this is luminosity in SI.

johnphantom: Eh, the states have nothing on 45 per 100,000 murder rate of the US Virgin Islands, with less than a 33% solvency rate.

/beats any US state city for murder

They have a name for people who just go around liquifying their problems.

EZ Writer: Very punny, Subby...

ZOMG!!!11! a "spelling" error!!1! No way it could possibly be a play on words - I'll be DAMNED if I READ the article to find out!!!1! It's too much fun to assume Subby and the Mods are morans.

/Out like a fat girl in dodge ball

I've posted something:
[ ] profound
[√] stupid
[ ] offensive

cksewell: GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

a "u"?

That'll cost you!

Cleveland is backward.

bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

the morning news here just said 509 from Nevada.

but they keep showing nothing but black people arrested. This was an ethnic roundup

Cleveland (CRACK) Rocks?

Math is soo easy. I'm a figuring genius.

30 Days
35,000 figitives (433 + x) x=other figitives
82 firearms
2400 kg of fun
1211 kg of fun was from Cleaveland

(time / figitives) + or - (figitives total / narcotics lost)
Answer:
Don't go to Cleaveland. The relatives are away and they don't have any drugs.

I like how they say the sex offenders were the cream of the crop. I wonder how many of the "sex offenders" took a piss out doors or something equally lame to get that term.

I knew there was more to Cleveland sucking than the Browns!

Mistake on the Lake buddy!

How much is it in cop dollars?

GreebobeerG: Cleveland (CRACK) Rocks?

Damn! Beat me to it.

Gettn' figgy wit it.

Figgy cent has no comment.

I work for the U.S. Marshals at the HQ in DC, and this was a huge event. We were able to get nearly every federal law enforcement agency (around 27, can you name even half?) and hundreds of state and local agencies to work together and arrest fugitives across borders and with the help of interpol, around the world. The numbers are so high because you can do alot more when you have a task force created to simply arrest fugitives, instead of having to work on a dozen other things as well.

Alot the guys arrested needed this coordinated effort because they were simply too dangerous for a local PD to go in alone to try and get them out. No one was simply sitting around waiting for a media event ot get the arrest numbers up.

KingErf 2009-07-10 08:18:47 AM
I work for the U.S. Marshals at the HQ in DC, and this was a huge event. We were able to get nearly every federal law enforcement agency (around 27, can you name even half?) and hundreds of state and local agencies to work together and arrest fugitives across borders and with the help of interpol, around the world. The numbers are so high because you can do alot more when you have a task force created to simply arrest fugitives, instead of having to work on a dozen other things as well.

Alot the guys arrested needed this coordinated effort because they were simply too dangerous for a local PD to go in alone to try and get them out. No one was simply sitting around waiting for a media event ot get the arrest numbers up.

Are these replies doing anything for you?....giving you something...oh I dont know possibly something you can describe with a metaphor involving you foot or legs?.....anything?

It means Cleveland has become a shiathole.

Cubansaltyballs [TotalFark] Quote 2009-07-10 04:46:12 AM
bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

Detroit and Wasilla. Washington DC, Detroit, Chicago

FTFY

Oh dang, almost forgot, getting a kick out of these replies...

Also, LOL, U.S. Marshalls Service, learn to spell subby, its Marshals.

I did the math, and it tells me that $100 million of my tax dollars were wasted to bust pot-smokers and pissers-in-public.

frowns, shenanigans, the math, you do it

bubbaprog: I did the math, and it tells me that $100 million of my tax dollars were wasted to bust pot-smokers and pissers-in-public.

Probably some pot smokers got caught up in all the excitement, but "pissers-in-public" I think not. They focused on violent offenders, gang members, and kiddy didlers.

Do the English.

BAN GUNS!

KingErf: kiddy didlers

That's the point; public urination often gets lumped in as a "sex crime" since it's often prosecuted as public nudity (which is then assumed to be sexual in nature when statistics are compiled). There are plenty of people forced to go door to door whenever they move, alerting their neighbors to the fact that they took a piss in an alley once and got picked up for it.

I can't believe that no one has posted the Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video (new window).

So 3.4% of the arrests were in Cleveland and subby can't spell... Am I missing something?

Ok,

1. Subby sucks. The headline implies that Cleveland accounts for half the narcotics taken. Untrue.
1a. OR Subby is trying to imply that Cleveland had many more fugitives, which is also untrue.

2. If they know where these people are then why not do their jobs and clean the street everyday? It's like you let your lawn grow out of control with weeds, you never mow it, never water it, no fertilizer. Then once the thing is a browned out field of hell, you call in the grounds-keeping crew from the MLB, and they put down new sod and install a sprinkler system.

My point is, if you could go get this many crims all in one operation, why not either do it in small increments all year, or do this kind of massive operation every day?

/It's a publicity stunt with no real effect, me thinks.