Drew Carey?

Wait. let me figitive this out...

Wanebo: Wait. let me figitive this out...

what's a 'figitive'?

A green with no spelling correction.

That figires.

There are way to many numbers, abbreviations, and special characters in the figging headline.

Over 1000 a day arrested. Less than 10% were sex offenders. More than 1% were murderers. Cleveland sucks

calbert: Wanebo: Wait. let me figitive this out...

what's a 'figitive'?

Someone who has stolen fruit from a tree that mainly grows in the mediterranean?

I am glad to know that there will be a lot less fidgeting in Cleveland.

Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

Wanebo: A green with no spelling correction.

That figires.

Sometimes the mods like to let the TFers rant a bit before correcting.

/seen it
//hate fug newtons

GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

Yes. The word figgety.

GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

a "u"?

cksewell: Wanebo: A green with no spelling correction.

That figires.

Sometimes the mods like to let the TFers rant a bit before correcting.

/seen it
//hate fug newtons

And sometimes they just figgidaboutit and let it go.

Wanebo: cksewell: Wanebo: A green with no spelling correction.

That figires.

Sometimes the mods like to let the TFers rant a bit before correcting.

/seen it
//hate fug newtons

And sometimes they just figgidaboutit and let it go.

Toiché

cksewell: GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

a "u"?

More a clause between the narcotics and the fact that so many of the fugitives were from Cleveland to correctly imply the Cleveland number is a number of people.

Wanebo: GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

Yes. The word figgety.

You can just go fig off. Figuratively speaking.

calbert: what's a 'figitive'?



/delicious, delicious figitives

Well at least none of my Sooners football players were involved. Whew.

GAT_00: You can just go fig off. Figuratively speaking.

You talk to your kids with a mouth like that? Here. Have a fiment. It'll freshen your breath.

fiment=figment.

Damn.

Sharch: calbert: what's a 'figitive'?



/delicious, delicious figitives

ohhh, I've always called those 'fug' newtons

/which actually works here, maybe trigmitter meant that

GAT_00
More a clause between the narcotics and the fact that so many of the fugitives were from Cleveland to correctly imply the Cleveland number is a number of people.



"I a neither a number not not represent a number of people."

Figitives are better than Broccoli for getting things moving.

Roman Maroni wanted for questioning

Over a 30-day period, U.S. Marshalls arrested over 35k figitives netting 2,356 sex-offenders, 433 murder suspects, 82 firearms, 2,400 kilograms of narcotics and 1,211 were from

30 + 35k + 2,356 + 433 + 82 + 2,400 + 1,200 = CLEVELAND ROCKS!

Why are they not arrested on a continuous basis?

They let criminals roam the streets until the numbers are impressive enough to warrant some big ass self serving media event?

It's quite obvious that they already knew where the bad guys were.
Were they waiting for mom to get back with the family minivan or something?

Could you imagine your rage if one raped and murdered your child, and they knew he was capable of it, but didn't want to pick him up because it was a Friday, and news coverage of the bust would have gotten lost over the weekend?

Scumbags.

Cleveland is in a figitative state.

/ "This just in...Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3" --Colin Mochrie, Who's Line is it Anyway?

johnny_vegas: Over a 30-day period, U.S. Marshalls arrested over 35k figitives netting 2,356 sex-offenders, 433 murder suspects, 82 firearms, 2,400 kilograms of narcotics and 1,211 were from

30 + 35k + 2,356 + 433 + 82 + 2,400 + 1,200 = CLEVELAND ROCKS!


>

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about subby


I don't think you do either

But did they catch that doctor who murdered his wife and then blamed it on a figticious one-armed man?

Oh wait. I'm sorry, I was supposed to be miffed over a typo in the headline, because really, how will anyone know how smart I am?

Sure as hell not my father.
NOTHING I ever do is good enough for him!

Sure as hell not my mother, who claimed I had sharp "infant teeth", and gave me to the family dog to nurse.

Sure as hell not my brother.
As soon that picture of him with the gold spray paint around his mouth hit the internet, he thought he was a superstar!

I live in his shadow, but AT LEAST EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET KNOWS I'M A GOOD SPELLER!

TommyymmoT: live in his shadow, but AT LEAST EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET KNOWS I'M A GOOD SPELLER!

Yea, but your grammar...yeech.

haemaker: TommyymmoT: live in his shadow, but AT LEAST EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET KNOWS I'M A GOOD SPELLER!

Yea, but your grammar...yeech.

DAD?

What constitutes a figit?
<img src="http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/tony_soprano.jpg">

I suck. Can't post pictures for sh*t

What constitutes a figit?

Figitaboutit!

Ice Cold: We wasn't in town when that sh*t happened.
Tone Def: Wait a minute, we were here.
Ice Cold: No, no, no. We were in Cleveland like a "mo fo" remember?
Tone Def: Oh, yeah.

So about half of all sex offenders live in Cleveland? No surprise.

/Hello Cleveland!

OHIO!

Who knew Dr. Drew was a US Marshall?

TommyymmoT: Why are they not arrested on a continuous basis?

They are. But every so often, when the local cops fall behind trying to locate and pick up fugitives, the feds come in and dump a shiatload of money into the system offering rewards, paying informants and adding a few hundred cops to the mix to find these people.

35,190 is a huge number for one operation, but then it was a month long nationwide thing.

So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

Detroit and Wasilla.

Action Replay Nick: There are way to many numbers, abbreviations, and special characters in the figging headline.

Amen, wine and numbers don't mix!

Now who's gonna play for the Cavs and Lions??

They went and dried up the free agent market for not 1 but 2 professional sports.

/Yes, that's his real name.

WPIX's Million Dollar Movie, "The Figative," starring Timmy Lee Jones and Wesley Snips will return after these messages.

Are those fugures accurate?

I knew we had to lead the nation in SOMETHING.

*sigh*

/Clevelander

I guess it's my turn to be the one who says

"I was told there would be no math".

Subby's crappy grammar had me wondering what he was saying a lot more than the typo.

I was told there would be no math.

Inspector: One merment. I must take some nerts. My nertbook. Nem of the figative?

Mabel: figative?

Inspector: Figative! F-U-...

Mabel: Up yours too froggy! Oh...fugitive!

/wanted a pic
//couldn't find one
///obscure?

TommyymmoT: Why are they not arrested on a continuous basis?

They let criminals roam the streets until the numbers are impressive enough to warrant some big ass self serving media event?

It's quite obvious that they already knew where the bad guys were.
Were they waiting for mom to get back with the family minivan or something?

Could you imagine your rage if one raped and murdered your child, and they knew he was capable of it, but didn't want to pick him up because it was a Friday, and news coverage of the bust would have gotten lost over the weekend?

Scumbags.

Maybe they should campaign to raise taxes to pay for more cops, so that the Feds don't have to come in and help them out?

Eh, the states have nothing on 45 per 100,000 murder rate of the US Virgin Islands, with less than a 33% solvency rate.

/beats any US state city for murder

I'll move to Cleveland when you get that IKEA... Never!

Cubansaltyballs: bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

Detroit and Wasilla.

That's some good stuff there.

But were any of them utes?

The private bounty hunters must be on summer vacation.

normally called GOP conservative anal sex nigt

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm sure I speak for a handful of people who are sick and tired of paying to sustain life for repeat violent offenders and perverts. Put their ass on the firing line and let God have mercy on their soul.

/no trolling
//dead serious

Cleveland still sucks.

wippit: Inspector: One merment. I must take some nerts. My nertbook. Nem of the figative?

Mabel: figative?

Inspector: Figative! F-U-...

Mabel: Up yours too froggy! Oh...fugitive!

/wanted a pic
//couldn't find one
///obscure?

Not enneh mehr!

Impeach Cheney First: WPIX's Million Dollar Movie, "The Figative," starring Timmy Lee Jones and Wesley Snips will return after these messages.

I hate to sound picky, but I believe that movie starred Timmy Lee Jones and Hirrisin Ford.

cantsleep: I hate to sound picky, but I believe that movie starred Timmy Lee Jones and Hirrisin Ford.

This. Wisley Snipes was in Pissinger 57.

Hey, has anybody else noticed that Subby misspelled "fugitive"?

Wanebo: calbert: Wanebo: Wait. let me figitive this out...

what's a 'figitive'?

Someone who has stolen fruit from a tree that mainly grows in the mediterranean?

FTFA: "Often when we find fugitives in hiding, we have other fruits of their crimes."

Sheesh, don't you people read?

If you add all that up, do you get the plot of the final episode from Lost?

I figure I like figitives, particularly emperor figatives fresh from my neighbors figgy tree.



Hmmmmm fresh figs.

\figgity

Fark you, Subby, Maff is hard!

How many of them were figgers?

/what?

Very punny, Subby...

ZOMG!!!11! a "spelling" error!!1! No way it could possibly be a play on words - I'll be DAMNED if I READ the article to find out!!!1! It's too much fun to assume Subby and the Mods are morans.

/Out like a fat girl in dodge ball

HAMMERTOE: cantsleep: I hate to sound picky, but I believe that movie starred Timmy Lee Jones and Hirrisin Ford.

This. Wisley Snipes was in Pissinger 57.

More importantly Wesley Snipes was in US Mirshall's also staring Timmy Lee Jones and a younger Ribert Downey Jr.

And as it was sort of the sequal to Figitive, it makes sense that someone referenced that.

GoSlash27: Hey, has anybody else noticed that Subby misspelled "fugitive"?

Also "marshals", included an unnecessary hyphen in "sex offenders", and in general wrote such a terrible headline that just reading it made me drunk.

As for "do the math":
35,000 * 2,356 * 433 * 82 * 2,400 *1,211 = 8,509,429,882,464,000,000 in units of (fugitives)*(sex offenders)*(murder suspects)*(firearms)*(kg narcotics)*(from Clevelands).

I think this is luminosity in SI.

johnphantom: Eh, the states have nothing on 45 per 100,000 murder rate of the US Virgin Islands, with less than a 33% solvency rate.

/beats any US state city for murder

They have a name for people who just go around liquifying their problems.

EZ Writer: Very punny, Subby...

ZOMG!!!11! a "spelling" error!!1! No way it could possibly be a play on words - I'll be DAMNED if I READ the article to find out!!!1! It's too much fun to assume Subby and the Mods are morans.

/Out like a fat girl in dodge ball

I've posted something:
[ ] profound
[√] stupid
[ ] offensive

cksewell: GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

a "u"?

That'll cost you!

Cleveland is backward.

bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

the morning news here just said 509 from Nevada.

but they keep showing nothing but black people arrested. This was an ethnic roundup

Cleveland (CRACK) Rocks?

Math is soo easy. I'm a figuring genius.

30 Days
35,000 figitives (433 + x) x=other figitives
82 firearms
2400 kg of fun
1211 kg of fun was from Cleaveland

(time / figitives) + or - (figitives total / narcotics lost)
Answer:
Don't go to Cleaveland. The relatives are away and they don't have any drugs.

I like how they say the sex offenders were the cream of the crop. I wonder how many of the "sex offenders" took a piss out doors or something equally lame to get that term.

I knew there was more to Cleveland sucking than the Browns!

Mistake on the Lake buddy!

How much is it in cop dollars?

GreebobeerG: Cleveland (CRACK) Rocks?

Damn! Beat me to it.

Gettn' figgy wit it.

Figgy cent has no comment.

I work for the U.S. Marshals at the HQ in DC, and this was a huge event. We were able to get nearly every federal law enforcement agency (around 27, can you name even half?) and hundreds of state and local agencies to work together and arrest fugitives across borders and with the help of interpol, around the world. The numbers are so high because you can do alot more when you have a task force created to simply arrest fugitives, instead of having to work on a dozen other things as well.

Alot the guys arrested needed this coordinated effort because they were simply too dangerous for a local PD to go in alone to try and get them out. No one was simply sitting around waiting for a media event ot get the arrest numbers up.

KingErf 2009-07-10 08:18:47 AM
I work for the U.S. Marshals at the HQ in DC, and this was a huge event. We were able to get nearly every federal law enforcement agency (around 27, can you name even half?) and hundreds of state and local agencies to work together and arrest fugitives across borders and with the help of interpol, around the world. The numbers are so high because you can do alot more when you have a task force created to simply arrest fugitives, instead of having to work on a dozen other things as well.

Alot the guys arrested needed this coordinated effort because they were simply too dangerous for a local PD to go in alone to try and get them out. No one was simply sitting around waiting for a media event ot get the arrest numbers up.

Are these replies doing anything for you?....giving you something...oh I dont know possibly something you can describe with a metaphor involving you foot or legs?.....anything?

It means Cleveland has become a shiathole.

Cubansaltyballs [TotalFark] Quote 2009-07-10 04:46:12 AM
bobbette: So if only 1200 were from cleveland, where where the other 33800+ from?

Detroit and Wasilla. Washington DC, Detroit, Chicago

FTFY

Oh dang, almost forgot, getting a kick out of these replies...

Also, LOL, U.S. Marshalls Service, learn to spell subby, its Marshals.

I did the math, and it tells me that $100 million of my tax dollars were wasted to bust pot-smokers and pissers-in-public.

frowns, shenanigans, the math, you do it

bubbaprog: I did the math, and it tells me that $100 million of my tax dollars were wasted to bust pot-smokers and pissers-in-public.

Probably some pot smokers got caught up in all the excitement, but "pissers-in-public" I think not. They focused on violent offenders, gang members, and kiddy didlers.

Do the English.

BAN GUNS!

KingErf: kiddy didlers

That's the point; public urination often gets lumped in as a "sex crime" since it's often prosecuted as public nudity (which is then assumed to be sexual in nature when statistics are compiled). There are plenty of people forced to go door to door whenever they move, alerting their neighbors to the fact that they took a piss in an alley once and got picked up for it.

I can't believe that no one has posted the Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video (new window).

So 3.4% of the arrests were in Cleveland and subby can't spell... Am I missing something?

Ok,

1. Subby sucks. The headline implies that Cleveland accounts for half the narcotics taken. Untrue.
1a. OR Subby is trying to imply that Cleveland had many more fugitives, which is also untrue.

2. If they know where these people are then why not do their jobs and clean the street everyday? It's like you let your lawn grow out of control with weeds, you never mow it, never water it, no fertilizer. Then once the thing is a browned out field of hell, you call in the grounds-keeping crew from the MLB, and they put down new sod and install a sprinkler system.

My point is, if you could go get this many crims all in one operation, why not either do it in small increments all year, or do this kind of massive operation every day?

/It's a publicity stunt with no real effect, me thinks.

maniacbastard: I figure I like figitives, particularly emperor figatives fresh from my neighbors figgy tree.



Hmmmmm fresh figs.

\figgity

You know what fig rhymes with?

Crispy: I like how they say the sex offenders were the cream of the crop. I wonder how many of the "sex offenders" took a piss out doors or something equally lame to get that term.

Many times these task forces focus on only the most serious criminals. There must have been a few "oh shiat the waterslide pulled off my trunks for 3 seconds" in there, but I would venture to say that the vast majority were pretty bad people.

figgitaboutit!

Well the Cleveland Indians, Browns, and Cavs stink beyond recognition so they needed to be arrested.

35,000 crooks and only 82 guns? Methinks they left off a couple of zeroes.

TommyymmoT: Why are they not arrested on a continuous basis?

They let criminals roam the streets until the numbers are impressive enough to warrant some big ass self serving media event?

It's quite obvious that they already knew where the bad guys were.
Were they waiting for mom to get back with the family minivan or something?

Could you imagine your rage if one raped and murdered your child, and they knew he was capable of it, but didn't want to pick him up because it was a Friday, and news coverage of the bust would have gotten lost over the weekend?

Scumbags.

Also, of note is they waited until the bulk of the Michael Jackson media circus passed.

What the hell is a 'U.S. Marshal' anyway? Aren't there enough farking former hall monitors with badges running around as it is?

OGC: How many of them were figgers?

/what?

That's fegroes...they prefer fegroes

good0179: I can't believe that no one has posted the Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video (new window).

Classic.

When the Black guy was on the phone and the song went, "Who the frkk still uses a pay phone," I thought I heard "Ooo, the buck still uses a pay phone," and then I thought

I was told there would be no math.

I no get it, Subby. Fugures. I no can dooz maff.

Just figit about it.

maniacbastard: I figure I like figitives, particularly emperor figatives fresh from my neighbors figgy tree.



Hmmmmm fresh figs.

\figgity

Don't eat them!! There are wasps in there!! *farking shudder*

Oh god! What if one woke up and stung you in the inside of your throat?!?

/wasp phobia

GAT_00: Is it just me, or is something missing from that headline that makes it make sense?

cksewell: a "u"?

hahahaha. Nice

SMOIT!: Don't eat them!! There are wasps in there!! *farking shudder*

What the fark are you going on about?

* googles fig wasp*

Holy fark.

/never eating another fig again

Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him.

Oo-ee, gooey, rich and chewy inside.
Golden, flaky, tender cakey outside.
Wrap the inside in the outside.
Is it good?fark NO, it's got a farking WASP in it!

Ok, so if the population of the US is about 350 million, marshals arrested 25 thousand fugitives, or about .0001% of the population of the United States. According to Wikipedia, Cleveland had a population of 478,403 in the 2000 census and 1211 were arrested. Marshals arrested .0002531% of Cleveland.

Hello Cleveland!



/Hot like Fire
//Or Ice
///Or somewhere in the middle, like lukewarm water.

Ctrl-Alt-Del: SMOIT!: Don't eat them!! There are wasps in there!! *farking shudder*

What the fark are you going on about?

* googles fig wasp*

Holy fark.

/never eating another fig again

wiki: "In figs of this sort, the crunchy bits in the fruit contain both seeds and wasps."

Sweet Lord that's horrible.

How were all these asshats on the streets to begin with?
/rope + tree = inexpensive end of problem

Cleveland Rocks! the crack cocaine

Take some figs, cut them in half and stuff a piece of provolone or fontina cheese in it, then wrap with a slice of prosciutto. Throw them on the grill to heat through then drizzle with some fig infused balsamic vineger and eat.
/pure heaven

How many were black?

Over a 30-day period, U.S. Marshalls arrested over 35k fugitives...

The same old question - clearly they must have known where most of these people were before the special 30 day window came up - so why didn't they just arrest them right away? Let's have some figures on how many crimes these people commit every year while the feds are waiting to hold their annual publicity stunt.

farkinhelenamt: Hello Cleveland!



/Hot like Fire
//Or Ice
///Or somewhere in the middle, like lukewarm water.

opening song...hell hole

So what are they going to do with the 500 kilos of narcotics they picked up? The street value for that has to be at least $50 Million!

v1.0 (new window)


v 2.0 (new window)

Wow, generally you don't see the police that active unless there was a financial incentive. Are all those a ticketing offense?

USA: 35,000+ arrested, out of population of 304,000,000

Ohio: 1,211 arrested, out of population of 11,485,000.

About average for their share of the population.

KingErf: Oh dang, almost forgot, getting a kick out of these replies...

Also, LOL, U.S. Marshalls Service, learn to spell subby, its Marshals.

I wondered when someone would point that out.

FTFA:
Among the 35,190 fugitives apprehended during Operation FALCON (Federal and Local Cops Operating Nationally) were 2,356 fugitive sex offenders, the service said.

"This might be considered the cream of the crop for the most violent felons that are out there. For example, we arrested 433 murder suspects," said U.S. Marshals director John F. Clark at a Chicago, Illinois, news conference."

Did no one notice that sex offenders were the 'cream' of the crop?