Its because they want you to stop by more often.

AnthraxRipple: My father has a Master's degree in aeronautical engineering. Worked recovery in the Apollo program. Manned missile silos in the 70's. Worked on the IUS, Tacit Rainbow, etc. Even he forwards crap.

Does he forward the "we never landed on the moon" emails?

Arxane: And then the Lord bestowed upon him a vision, where he witnessed over 9000 angels singing the glories of God, and how they would never give him up, never let him down. Beside the chorus sat two beautiful girls imbibing from a lone cup of eternal wine, and further beyond stood a goat...see it recline beside that beautiful lion? Incredibly, the lion spoke in a language only God knew, a language that could only be written incomplete and seemingly indecipherable.

Oh man You're are Winner of the internets
very very funny I would pay money to see that sermon.

A cousin of mine in Egypt sent me an e-mail once in Arabic. Since my cousin rarely e-mails me, and this was written in Arabic, I figured something was up and he needed to contact me ASAP - family emergency or something.

Two hours of trying to read an Arabic e-mail on a computer that doesn't understand Arabic, I finally managed download it somehow to Word. After magnifying, playing with the font etc. I spend a good 4-5 min trying to read the first line since I haven't read Arabic in a while.

Turns out, it was a chain letter.

After my reply, my cousin never sent me that garbage - nor anything else again. Good, I can think of better ways to waste my time.

Back in the day, I received a chain email from an idiot friend of mine that asked if you had any information on a missing young blond white girl who "ran away from home". Everybody, their mothers, and their mothers' mothers was listed in the To: line. A quick search on Snopes validated it's BS level, but I didn't bother to respond. About two weeks later, someone responded to all recipients in the chain (which by this time including the mothers' mothers' mothers as well) claiming to have seen the women-- It said she was visiting Africa, but was unlikely to return. Scrolling down, there was an image of a smiling young, blond, white girl with her arm around a naked African gentlemen who's cock reached the ground. And a link to Snopes.

JasonThomasX: (straight to trash reroutes
I've had to do this with several older coworkers and acquaintances, mostly older women. They always wonder why I never reply to them. I don't have the heart to explain how wrong their lame email forwards are and that they go right into my trash folder.

I also don't need a giant list of hackneyed knock-knock jokes written by unfunny people.

And yet, you spend how much of your day reading fark?

Jha: Sadly, there are still lots of people who believe that everything on Snopes is the final word and always true.

1/10

/Snopes probably isn't perfect, but wtf do you want? it's an imperfect work, buddy

docmattic: AnthraxRipple: My father has a Master's degree in aeronautical engineering. Worked recovery in the Apollo program. Manned missile silos in the 70's. Worked on the IUS, Tacit Rainbow, etc. Even he forwards crap.

Obviously, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

What a rocket scientist might look like.

-That email you sent about blah blah blah was not true.
How do you know?
-I looked up the facts and it was clearly not true.
Oh, well I didn't even read it.
-Then why did you send it?
I thought you might like it.
-But you just said you didn't read it.

(repeat conversation a couple of times a year)

My mother has a computer and internet access, but does not know how to use it, so she forwards nothing. She sends greeting cards every few months instead.

She also has a cell phone, but she does not know the number so she's never given it to me, and so can't complain that I never call her.

I'm glad I never get inbox clutter.

Few of my African American tweeps...

Tweeps?

DIE.

My own personal fave was during the 08 election. My aunt comes to a family get-together with a forwarded email she had received and printed out to show us. It was, of course, the infamous "OBAMA IS A MUSLIM!!1 ZOMG!11!! HE HATEZ JEEBUS!!1!" email.

The funniest part about it is hard to convey here. To get the full comedic effect, you would've had to have seen the dead-serious, grave & ominous way she was making the rounds in the room with it. You'd think she had gotten her hands on a top-secret, classified document that 8 marines and 1 battle-droid had died to smuggle out of enemy territory.

AnthraxRipple: My father has a Master's degree in aeronautical engineering. Worked recovery in the Apollo program. Manned missile silos in the 70's. Worked on the IUS, Tacit Rainbow, etc. Even he forwards crap.

My father has an associates' degree in applied electronics. He forwards the crap that he thinks is funny (usually with "I can't believe people are dumb enough to believe this") added to the subject line.

The Dread Pirate Robertson: Jha: Sadly, there are still lots of people who believe that everything on Snopes is the final word and always true.

There have been a few Snopes-invoking threads lately where people have called them out for being wrong about things, but no one ever posts links to proof. You got anything?

/not picking a fight, genuinely curious...

About 10 years ago, I was still working at the vet school, and I ran across a story in the JAMVA about a poodle that was burned in a microwave oven. About that time, Snopes.com was saying that the story of a dog getting microwaved was an urban legend, so I scanned a copy and sent it to Snopes.com. They actually replied to my e-mail and said that what I found didn't fit the legend *exactly* so it was not applicable, and they didn't change a thing about the 'dog in the microwave story is false.' Since I have seen for my own eyes that they only believe what they want to believe, I really don't believe everything they say. (Even a broken clock is correct twice a day, so it's not like I think that Snopes is 'The Site Of All Falsehoods.')

Another reason I don't go to snopes.com come is because I HATE CLOSING THE 500 POP-UPS THAT OPEN WHEN YOU GO TO SNOPES.COM. Yes, I do use a pop-up blocker. Their site is worse than a virus.

\If you'd like to pick a fight, I'll take you on in Call of Duty 4 cage match.
\\Snopes sucks

I simply e-mail the following:

"Just because it's in your e-mail 'inbox' doesn't mean it's true."

/My favorite was the e-mail about chapter 9 verse 11 in the Koran talking about the mighty bald eagle seeking its revenge, etc.

//cue up the "It's still real to me, dammit!" guy.

exi: Few of my African American tweeps...

Tweeps?

DIE.

grrrr wrong thread

i took a look at FARK w/o the Adblock and was horrified.

/i will continue to insulate myself from commodified hyperreality

I also have a crazy aunt that sends shiat all the time. I usually find the debunking on snopes and reply to everyone, giving them the link to snopes along with a "If you forward any more emails without fact-checking them, you're a biatch."

Jument: Jha: Sadly, there are still lots of people who believe that everything on Snopes is the final word and always true.

1/10

/Snopes probably isn't perfect, but wtf do you want? it's an imperfect work, buddy

From Jument's profile:

DIAF:
People who drive Hummers, people who don't use their farking turn signals, people who voted for Bush.


\YOU, my friend, are a douchebag.
\\Look up 'irony.'
\\\'just be cool. it's an imperfect world. nobody's perfect, unless i disagree with them, then they should die a painful death.'

The headline describes my mom exactly.

After several years of forwarding urban legends, she still doesn't know how to check Snopes.com.

My dad, on the other hand, has computer claustrophobia, and won't even touch anything more complicated that a calculator or TV remote.

ytmmr: I guess you drive a hummer and don't use your turn signals, eh? You can DIAF as far as I'm concerned, if so.

My mom doesn't have a computer so her church friends print them out and bring them to her house. The second they leave she calls me up to OMGZ! at me. I then have to spend an hour debunking the information over the phone and mailing her copies of proof.

Jument: ytmmr: I guess you drive a hummer and don't use your turn signals, eh? You can DIAF as far as I'm concerned, if so.

ytmmr probably isn't perfect, but wtf do you want? it's an imperfect work, buddy

\love love love
\\peace peace peace
\\\snopes snopes snopes

everyone i slightly disagree with
\\\\die die die



/I do not know Jument, so I cannot truthfully pass judgment on someone's entirety based on 300 characters or less, therefore I retract my 'douchebag' judgment, until further review.
//Be careful hunting douchebags, lest you become one, too.

Ohmigod! someone sent me something that doesn't meet my E-mail standards! I have to move the mouse two inches to delete it!
/some people need some real problems in their lives.

BECAUSE YOU NEVER CALL ANYMORE!

jonmurr: Ohmigod! someone sent me something that doesn't meet my E-mail standards! I have to move the mouse two inches to delete it!
/some people need some real problems in their lives.

Actually, it's more like: "Ohmigod! I can't believe people would spread misinformation like this! I must fight this willful ignorance with fact checking and research!"

My mom sent me the "hit the clear button at the gas pump, else someone could steal your CC info" email. Sent her back the snopes link, and she thanked me.

Fighting ignorance doesn't necessarily include "huurrrr durrr I can't bliev u r so dumb" type comments.

ytmmr: Another reason I don't go to snopes.com come is because I HATE CLOSING THE 500 POP-UPS THAT OPEN WHEN YOU GO TO SNOPES.COM. Yes, I do use a pop-up blocker. Their site is worse than a virus.

I've heard that before, and I have no idea why my particular setup doesn't get that. I don't do anything fancy. XP, Firefox, and AdBlock Plus. That's it. I don't think I've ever gotten a popup there.

\If you'd like to pick a fight, I'll take you on in Call of Duty 4 cage match.

Have you ever played deathmatch with someone who sucks so badly that they just hang out in a corner of the map by themselves, stacking up explosives and blowing them up to see what kind of altitude they can get? Yeah. That's me. Unless you really get off on repeatedly head-shotting an opponent who seems be punch-drunk and retarded, then playing against me really isn't a challenge.

The Dread Pirate Robertson: Have you ever played deathmatch with someone who sucks so badly that they just hang out in a corner of the map by themselves, stacking up explosives and blowing them up to see what kind of altitude they can get? Yeah. That's me. Unless you really get off on repeatedly head-shotting an opponent who seems be punch-drunk and retarded, then playing against me really isn't a challenge.

You seem to be in every match that I join. Damn you.

Subby's headline dscribes my 75 year old mom EXCATLY. Ususally with tiny footnote of "You never know", or "better safe than sorry".

Full disclosure: I have directed her to Urban Dictionary and Snopes.com and things have improved immensely. She is a pretty groovy/tech savvy 75 year old who is impossible to shock.

RoyBatty: Because your mom isn't dead like my mom, and I envy the crap that your mom sends to you you insensitive clodmitter?

Thanks, I now feel like an asshole for nodding and laughing, right after deleting the most recent "Obama isn't a citizen" email from my mom (a repeat from every other day for the last 8 months). Okay, she's alive and well. Can't we all still acknowledge that she's a reactionary Fox-News-Junkie bigot, a mild pain in the ass, and an email menace?

Even if it's your mom--you gotta call'em like you see'em.

jonmurr: Ohmigod! someone sent me something that doesn't meet my E-mail standards! I have to move the mouse two inches to delete it!

...200 times, every day.

I guess that goes for why she comments on everything I do on facebook, too

stickintehmud: I guess that goes for why she comments on everything I do on facebook, too
and this why facebook has gone down hill so fast so quick. Not to mention all the stupid games and quizzes but now the older generation thinks that is the cool think to do so all of them are joining in droves. So you have all these clueless people joining who post anything and do all the quizzes and games. It's like a midfield of stupidity out there.

TheGhostofFarkPast: stickintehmud: I guess that goes for why she comments on everything I do on facebook, too
and this why facebook has gone down hill so fast so quick. Not to mention all the stupid games and quizzes but now the older generation thinks that is the cool think to do so all of them are joining in droves. So you have all these clueless people joining who post anything and do all the quizzes and games. It's like a midfield of stupidity out there.

And in the case of family, you can't unfriend them or block their access to stuff because you get the uncomfortable situation of having to explain why.

Happy to say my mom is one of the ones who gets email crap and then tells the senders to STFU. I trained her well. Maybe once every few months she'll see something that she couldn't immediately tell was nonsense and email me to ask "this is BS, right?"

On the other hand, two of my wife's best friends are the type that forward everything. She's too nice to tell them they're being idiots so she just deletes it. She just cusses for a while after she sees a really dumb one.

My mom hates this shiat as much as I do. The person who fws this crap to me is my aunt. I've had to lie by telling her I'm still on dial up so she doesn't send me tons of cutesy pictures, and in the past I've ditched email addresses to avoid her shiat.

Loadmaster: The headline describes my mom exactly.

After several years of forwarding urban legends, she still doesn't know how to check Snopes.com.

My dad, on the other hand, has computer claustrophobia, and won't even touch anything more complicated that a calculator or TV remote.

In my case, it's the reverse. Dad's an email-forwarding lunatic, while Mom pitches a damn fit because she keeps pushing the wrong button on the remote.

"But that's what I did" is her constant excuse. Oh, really? Then why the fark am I over here fixing your fark-up?

She also refuses to use the computer, yet constantly biatches that no one sends her email. Well, gee whiz, Mom, you have to use the goddamned computer every farking day if you expect to have your friends email you those billions of virus warnings, so you can contribute to the problem. Why should I waste my time teaching you to do something you won't do?

I nearly offed myself when they got cell phones...but, at least that's one piece of technology they can't fark up.

My niece started forwarding those same crap emails, complete with the full list of everyone who had ever gotten a copy of it.

I replied, nicely, that she may want to remove the addresses of prior forwardee's before sending such drivel on.

She got all pissy about it, stating that she "always" removed old email addresses before sending, and stopped sending the crap to me. I then asked her in person "if she "always" deleted old email addresses before forwarding crap, then why do I now have over 500 "friends" in my email contacts? 99.9% of them people that I have never communicated with". Now she won't even talk to me.

//prefer it that way.

kb7rky: Loadmaster:

I nearly offed myself when they got cell phones...but, at least that's one piece of technology they can't fark up.

*Bee-boop beep bawp boop beep* *click*"Thank you for calling the Homeland Security Report-a-Terrorist Hotline. We have traced this number and will arrive with a SWAT team momentarily. Have a nice day."

I work @ Nielsen so I'm getting a kick...................

Because people are basically morons?

WHY is this true?! She can barely figure out how to "turn the internet on" but she can send me garbage everyday.