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(Adweek) Obvious Nielsen survey explains scientifically why your mom sends you five fwd:'s a day (with a minimum of two that have been debunked on Snopes)   (adweek.com) divider line 143
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Madison_Smiled 2009-07-09 04:22:56 PM  
Despite multiple debunkings and polite requests to stop sending me this garbage, my mother still insists on sending me this garbage. "I only forward the stuff I think you'll like," she says, proving that she doesn't know me at all. Today I finally reached my limit and set up a filter. All her emails are now routed directly to the Trash folder. She never sends anything but forwards anyway, and always calls me if she has something to say to me, so it's not like I'm going to miss anything important.

Yes, I feel like a horrible daughter. But at least I no longer feel like pounding my head against a wall.

 
docmattic 2009-07-09 04:23:15 PM  
Qwigs: Related

That's freakin' awesome.

 
docmattic 2009-07-09 04:23:50 PM  
griffer: griffer: mysongistic

Whoa. Typo. Sorry.

misogynistic.


For a moment there, I thought you hated my songs.

 
UsikFark 2009-07-09 04:23:56 PM  
My father's laptop was infected with some "PC center help" virus, the kind that only activates if you click their links and download stuff. I told him it was fake and that Microsoft doesn't use pop up windows to communicate with customers. Even then he expressed surprise at how convincing it was.

 
fendrluvr 2009-07-09 04:24:18 PM  
My mom doesn't send me 5 Fwd:'s a day, she sends me one Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: a day.

 
imgod2u [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:25:47 PM  
griffer: griffer: mysongistic

Whoa. Typo. Sorry.

misogynistic.


Why do you hate music?

 
griffer [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:25:54 PM  
This just in, younger people think older people are dumb!

 
Calabai_Yau 2009-07-09 04:26:02 PM  
gorgor: Your mom sends me pictures of her vagina.

Fabric_Man: I have an aunt who does that. I finally had to giver an ultimatum: Stop sending me forwards or you go on my spam filter.


I laughed, seeing these one after the other.

 
Aidan [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:26:13 PM  
Madison_Smiled: Yes, I feel like a horrible daughter. But at least I no longer feel like pounding my head against a wall.

Sometimes being a wonderful daughter means doing things to stop yourself from enacting a huge deception to convince mental professionals that your mother is non compos mentis and should be put somewhere quiet and FAR AWAY for a long time.

Don't sweat it.

 
Fish in a Barrel 2009-07-09 04:26:22 PM  
It's my dad, actually. Thankfully my mother has not yet reached that level of email proficiency, and hopefully she never will.

/Did you know the ACLU is trying to ban crosses at military cemeteries?

 
JasonThomasX 2009-07-09 04:26:26 PM  
Madison_Smiled: Despite multiple debunkings and polite requests to stop sending me this garbage, my mother still insists on sending me this garbage. "I only forward the stuff I think you'll like," she says, proving that she doesn't know me at all. Today I finally reached my limit and set up a filter. All her emails are now routed directly to the Trash folder. She never sends anything but forwards anyway, and always calls me if she has something to say to me, so it's not like I'm going to miss anything important.

Yes, I feel like a horrible daughter. But at least I no longer feel like pounding my head against a wall.


I've had to do this with several older coworkers and acquaintances, mostly older women. They always wonder why I never reply to them. I don't have the heart to explain how wrong their lame email forwards are and that they go right into my trash folder.

I also don't need a giant list of hackneyed knock-knock jokes written by unfunny people.

 
griffer [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:26:32 PM  
imgod2u: griffer: griffer: mysongistic

Whoa. Typo. Sorry.

misogynistic.

Why do you hate music?


Because of what music did with the snake in the Garden, duh.

 
griffer [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:27:20 PM  
Fish in a Barrel: It's my dad, actually. Thankfully my mother has not yet reached that level of email proficiency, and hopefully she never will.

/Did you know the ACLU is trying to ban crosses at military cemeteries?


Wow, and after they fought for the Wiccan to have her pentagram on her tombstone!

 
imgod2u [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:27:52 PM  
Madison_Smiled: Despite multiple debunkings and polite requests to stop sending me this garbage, my mother still insists on sending me this garbage. "I only forward the stuff I think you'll like," she says, proving that she doesn't know me at all. Today I finally reached my limit and set up a filter. All her emails are now routed directly to the Trash folder. She never sends anything but forwards anyway, and always calls me if she has something to say to me, so it's not like I'm going to miss anything important.

Yes, I feel like a horrible daughter. But at least I no longer feel like pounding my head against a wall.


Perhaps your mother's simply looking for an excuse to have contact with you and have some sort of dialog; perhaps even share in a mutual amusement of some type.

 
imgod2u [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:28:44 PM  
griffer: Because of what music did with the snake in the Garden, duh.

You know, music didn't make MJ eat the apple. He did it because he thought it was a 12 year old.

 
nucal 2009-07-09 04:29:04 PM  
Now that that's solved, can we tackle the problem of "reply to all" abuse?

 
ChadM89 2009-07-09 04:31:22 PM  
Huh. Just to prove me wrong, I got a forward from my mom while I typed my previous post which contained a photoshop that was actually 1) gross and 2) funny(ish).

Well, not wrong. It was definitely an outlier. But an amusing coincidence at any rate.

 
JasonThomasX 2009-07-09 04:32:10 PM  
I actually feel bad for all these people opening their mailboxes with giddy anticipation of these annoying chain letters. The ones who read them all and then forward them to people they think would "like them".

Also, why do people insist that Oprah regularly has heads of popular corporations on her show to discuss how they donate all of their corporate profits to the Church of Satan?

 
mvfreeman 2009-07-09 04:33:08 PM  
Here is something I find useful as a reply to some of these stupid forwards...

i124.photobucket.com

 
Brother Head 2009-07-09 04:35:30 PM  
griffer;
We're annoying but people who forward the same crap that can't be true isn't?

uh, Each to his own I guess.

And to counter your points:
immature: You could say that
mysongistic: I do the same thing whether it's male or female, so that doesn't count towards me (it's just usually I get this crap from females).
and annoying: No more so than this crap my "friends" send me.

And to your final question... What is a SOs?

(Chanel, is that you?)

 
gorgor 2009-07-09 04:37:05 PM  
Aidan: gorgor: Your mom sends me pictures of her vagina.

Oh, how I wish this could come as a surprise.


APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/lq8ypg
(copy and paste, NSFW)

Calabai_Yau: gorgor: Your mom sends me pictures of her vagina.

Fabric_Man: I have an aunt who does that. I finally had to giver an ultimatum: Stop sending me forwards or you go on my spam filter.


I laughed, seeing these one after the other.


That would be disturbing, my aunt is weird.
/and that's coming from me!

 
mvfreeman 2009-07-09 04:37:26 PM  
And to your final question... What is a SOs?


Significant Other?

 
Dil Doe 2009-07-09 04:39:06 PM  
You mean all those forwarded emails I receive from my right-wing acquaintances telling me the ATF has a secret plan to round up all gun-owners as soon as HUSSEIN Obama gives them the nod aren't true?

 
Pxtl 2009-07-09 04:39:18 PM  
Zed-ex: Pxtl: I often go by consumer opinions posted online, simply because they're often the only source of information. Go buy an appliance, search the model number... if you're lucky, you'll be able to pay Consumer Reports for the opinion they gathered after four hours of exhaustive testing and reading the company PR. Or you can just read the opinion of somebody who actually owns the damned thing.

The problem, of course, is that "somebody" may not exist.

Ya before I buy I usually look at what people have to say about the product.

I make 4 assumptions.

-People who are gaga fan boys will praise it regardless.

-The company may be posting fake reviews.

-People who are upset or disappointed will post the most due to them feeling shafted.

-People who are satisfied are the least likely to post as they just aren't motivated enough to go online and say "yep it does it's job".

So I mostly look at the bad posts and see what their complaints are. See how many freak accidents there are, how many are the purchasers fault, how many are the companies.

If most of the complaints are due to purchaser stupidity then I will assume it is a good product


Precisely. I don't buy anything with a product ID that I can't Google and follow your process.

Annoys the hell out of the wife though, since her opinion is that everything's Chinese crap anyways and you may as well just buy the cheapest one with the specs you need.

I'm sadly starting to think she's right.

 
Lord Farkwad 2009-07-09 04:41:02 PM  
jshabbadoo: BKITU: I can't think of anything I'd trust less than the opinions of a bunch of Greater Internet Farkwads, especially if they have an axe to grind.


Farkwads?



this is the only one I know.

/hot like *insert snark here*


It's nice to know that I have such a following here on Fark.

 
Arxane 2009-07-09 04:41:48 PM  
My mom used to send me these things all the time. Thankfully she learned about Snopes (after hammering it into her over and over again) and she's now more wary of it...though she'll still forward the occasional glurge email that has a Christian-bent message (such as the Amazing Grace Slave Scale video...ugh).

My dad's former boss, an elder pastor, however, is even worse. This guy is computer illiterate and considers any glurge in his inbox to be factual. Therefore one Sunday his sermon will talk about the table cloth that brought two lost lovers together, and the next he'll mention that story about the train track man sacrificing his son for the sake of a train's passengers, and so forth. My dad could not convince him to even consider that these stories might not be true - he would just preach them and then move on.

/Then again, this was from a church that, during a Christmas Eve service, mentioned Harry Potter during a prayer but did not once mention Jesus.
//Honest.

 
SonOfSpam 2009-07-09 04:41:50 PM  
Dil Doe: You mean all those forwarded emails I receive from my right-wing acquaintances telling me the ATF has a secret plan to round up all gun-owners as soon as HUSSEIN Obama gives them the nod aren't true?

No, those are the true ones.

 
forever_blowing_bubbles 2009-07-09 04:41:55 PM  
My fiancee's best friend added me to her "forward" group of young republican neocons. So I started using REPLY ALL to the stupidity. The most recent was "what passport did Obama use" type crap. It was all "secret Muslim!!!" and "Where's the bc?!?!" type crap. Eventually she got so many complaints about me telling them how incredibly farking stupid they were (some replied to my reply and I replied to ALL again) that I was baninated :-D .. which was my goal in the first place.

// Last time we saw her I had her - literally - screaming at me from under a table because I had handed her her arse in a debate and seemingly the only response her and her friends have is to yell louder and more incoherently.

 
Sofa King Smart 2009-07-09 04:42:02 PM  
Zed-ex
My ex-gf is the only one who forwards me this garbage and usually only once every few months. So I then take the time to dissect the forward provide counter points to each section backed with semi legitimate research (more then one internet site). Proving how she has been dooped and how foolish she is for forwarding it. I then send this to her and everyone she sent it to.

Ok, if no one else will admit to it I will... I 'doop' your ex-girlfriend... sometimes 3 or 4 times a day... I might have even been 'dooping' her before you two broke up.

//not exactly sure what 'doop' means...

 
kb7rky 2009-07-09 04:42:28 PM  
mythbusters.otavo.tv

Unavailable for comment

/congrats to new mama Kari ;)

 
Brainsick 2009-07-09 04:42:32 PM  
I just want to say... I love it when a plan comes together.
i116.photobucket.com
+1 FARK

 
Brother Head 2009-07-09 04:43:38 PM  
mvfreeman

Duh.. Thanks.

I don't know what my wife's weight has to do with tard's sending me stupid shiate via e-mail.

She doesn't has she's too smart too (that and has seen what I do to people that do). bwhawhawhahaaaaa

 
Zed-ex 2009-07-09 04:44:03 PM  
griffer: Zed-ex: My ex-gf is the only one who forwards me this garbage and usually only once every few months. So I then take the time to dissect the forward provide counter points to each section backed with semi legitimate research (more then one internet site). Proving how she has been dooped and how foolish she is for forwarding it. I then send this to her and everyone she sent it to.

/She still keeps doing it.
//Keeps me entertained.

Brother Head: Zed-ex.

I normally do the same thing (adding snarky, snide comments).

Usually pisses em off enough that they'll stop forwarding me that crap.

If not, I go even worse with my reply.

Entertains me, my friends and co-workers. 8)


Wow, you guys sound very immature, mysongistic and annoying.

Exactly, how fat are your SOs?


Hmm I'll bite

Immature. I'll agree with that to a point. While I keep a light hearted demeanor at work/life I can understand when joke time is over and there is work to do.

Mysongynistic on the other hand I disagree with. I have nothing but the utmost respect for women. My treatment of my Ex has nothing to do with her gender. More her stupidity. I was in a 2 year relationship that went 1.5 years longer then I wanted it to because she had convinced me she would commit suicide if I left her. After finally prying her off me without her dying she would break into my house and wait for me so we could have "talks". I considered getting a restraining order but I knew she was harmless. Then she showed up one day informing me of her plan to become a nun and then open an orphanage (she wasn't catholic either). She still considers me her best friend 6 years later and will occasionally call me to cry on my shoulder. My wife enjoys it as I inform her of my ex's latest stupidity and together we have a good laugh. Yep nuts through and through. Interesting side note she could orgasm by just thinking about it. Crazy also means crazy in bed.

Annoying hmm I will admit I have been called it before but I'm not "that annoying guy" in my group as for some reason I get invited to social functions without having to invite myself. I have also been told on several occasions I can be rather funny.

Well I don't see how my wife's weight has anything to do with anything but she's around 140 5'5. A lot more attractive then me too.

I hope that addresses any personal concerns you have over my character. Remember there is a human on the other end of this post.

 
Rodent of unusual size 2009-07-09 04:44:25 PM  
Because know body would lie on the internet

 
Pxtl 2009-07-09 04:44:45 PM  
Arxane: My mom used to send me these things all the time. Thankfully she learned about Snopes (after hammering it into her over and over again) and she's now more wary of it...though she'll still forward the occasional glurge email that has a Christian-bent message (such as the Amazing Grace Slave Scale video...ugh).

My dad's former boss, an elder pastor, however, is even worse. This guy is computer illiterate and considers any glurge in his inbox to be factual. Therefore one Sunday his sermon will talk about the table cloth that brought two lost lovers together, and the next he'll mention that story about the train track man sacrificing his son for the sake of a train's passengers, and so forth. My dad could not convince him to even consider that these stories might not be true - he would just preach them and then move on.

/Then again, this was from a church that, during a Christmas Eve service, mentioned Harry Potter during a prayer but did not once mention Jesus.
//Honest.


Damn. If I knew somebody who used that stuff in sermons, I'd take that as an opportunity for pranks. Make a bunch of fake hotmail accounts, put in a FWD:FWD:FWD in the box to make it look like it's made the rounds, and send him a feel-good Christian story full of double-entendre and 4chan memes.

 
Anne.Uumellmahaye 2009-07-09 04:44:57 PM  
It's not my mom, it's my Great Aunt Macel, who now only sends me the ones that say PROVEN ON SNOPES.COM!!!! in the subject.

 
DigitalCoffee 2009-07-09 04:45:09 PM  
It's not being forwarded a half page of drivel that can be denounced by five minutes on Snopes that bugs me. It's the 10 pages of e-mail address forwards that bug the shiat out of me.

YOU HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY THE ANGRY TOAD OF THE INTERNET. THE ANGRY TOAD OF THE INTERNET WILL CRAWL UP YOUR VAJAYJAY AND DIE AND MAKE IT POLLUTED FOR 10 GENERATIONS IF YOU DON'T TRIM YOUR HEADERS. NOW FORWARD THIS TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS WITHIN THE NEXT HOUR OR ELSE THE ANGRY TOAD IF THE INTERNET WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL!

 
Masso 2009-07-09 04:46:39 PM  
Oh come on now, it's only twice a week now.

The latest appear to be, "Beware bacteria on shopping cart handles". And how could I forget the ever so useful "Watch out for Internet Fraud No.123", "Watch out Son, my coworker send me information on this Nigeria Scam no. 3234","Dangers at the Airport no. 53", "Protecting yourselves from looming health epidemic no. 21" and other stuffs I've heard years ago.

 
Digitalstrange 2009-07-09 04:47:03 PM  
If my mother limited it to 6 a day she might not have landed on my spam filter. I see her often enough (she keeps my daughter afterschool till I get off work) so I wont miss any real info by blocking her. and my mailbox isnt filled with crap. If she asks if I got a particular e-mail and it sounds interesting(which is rare)I go thru my junk file to find it.

 
forever_blowing_bubbles 2009-07-09 04:47:51 PM  
Sofa King Smart: Zed-ex
My ex-gf is the only one who forwards me this garbage and usually only once every few months. So I then take the time to dissect the forward provide counter points to each section backed with semi legitimate research (more then one internet site). Proving how she has been dooped and how foolish she is for forwarding it. I then send this to her and everyone she sent it to.

Ok, if no one else will admit to it I will... I 'doop' your ex-girlfriend... sometimes 3 or 4 times a day... I might have even been 'dooping' her before you two broke up.

//not exactly sure what 'doop' means...


Well there was that time when we DP'd her, maybe he just misspelled it?

 
Aidan [TotalFark] 2009-07-09 04:47:59 PM  
Pxtl: Arxane: My mom used to send me these things all the time. Thankfully she learned about Snopes (after hammering it into her over and over again) and she's now more wary of it...though she'll still forward the occasional glurge email that has a Christian-bent message (such as the Amazing Grace Slave Scale video...ugh).

My dad's former boss, an elder pastor, however, is even worse. This guy is computer illiterate and considers any glurge in his inbox to be factual. Therefore one Sunday his sermon will talk about the table cloth that brought two lost lovers together, and the next he'll mention that story about the train track man sacrificing his son for the sake of a train's passengers, and so forth. My dad could not convince him to even consider that these stories might not be true - he would just preach them and then move on.

/Then again, this was from a church that, during a Christmas Eve service, mentioned Harry Potter during a prayer but did not once mention Jesus.
//Honest.

Damn. If I knew somebody who used that stuff in sermons, I'd take that as an opportunity for pranks. Make a bunch of fake hotmail accounts, put in a FWD:FWD:FWD in the box to make it look like it's made the rounds, and send him a feel-good Christian story full of double-entendre and 4chan memes.


DO IT! FOR THE LULZ!

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-07-09 04:48:21 PM  
My mom always forwards OMG WARNING ABOUT A PARTICULAR VIRUS bits. Finally, I emailed her back with some advice on how not to get a virus, period, So she can stop worrying about them individually.

 
jjorsett 2009-07-09 04:48:40 PM  

You think email is bad, I know a guy who gave his mom a fax machine some years ago. She'd fax him the printed version of this crap multiple times per day.
Pxtl: Zed-ex: Pxtl: I often go by consumer opinions posted online, simply because they're often the only source of information. Go buy an appliance, search the model number... if you're lucky, you'll be able to pay Consumer Reports for the opinion they gathered after four hours of exhaustive testing and reading the company PR. Or you can just read the opinion of somebody who actually owns the damned thing.

The problem, of course, is that "somebody" may not exist.

Ya before I buy I usually look at what people have to say about the product.

I make 4 assumptions.

-People who are gaga fan boys will praise it regardless.

-The company may be posting fake reviews.

-People who are upset or disappointed will post the most due to them feeling shafted.

-People who are satisfied are the least likely to post as they just aren't motivated enough to go online and say "yep it does it's job".

So I mostly look at the bad posts and see what their complaints are. See how many freak accidents there are, how many are the purchasers fault, how many are the companies.

If most of the complaints are due to purchaser stupidity then I will assume it is a good product

Precisely. I don't buy anything with a product ID that I can't Google and follow your process.

Annoys the hell out of the wife though, since her opinion is that everything's Chinese crap anyways and you may as well just buy the cheapest one with the specs you need.

I'm sadly starting to think she's right.


What, how can you distrust reviews like this (new window):

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews.

I was disappointed. I consider myself an audiophile - I regularly spend over $1000 on cables to get the ultimate sound. I keep my music-listening room in a Faraday cage to prevent any interference that could alter my music-listening experience. Sending any signal down ordinary copper can degrade the signal considerably. While ordinary listeners might not notice, to somebody with even a rudimentary knowledge of sound, the artifacts are glaring. Denon should have used silver wiring (hermetically sealed inside the rubber sheath to prevent any tarnishing, of course), which has a significantly higher conductivity than copper. Furthermore, Denon needs to treat the wires they use in the cable with a polarity inductor to ensure minimal phase variance.

Needless to say, I returned the cable and wrote an angry letter to the so-called engineers at Denon.

 
Marlas_Cancer 2009-07-09 04:51:17 PM  

I hope that addresses any personal concerns you have over my character. Remember there is a human on the other end of this post.


Zed-ex: Awesome post sir. :) However, I don't think that they care if there is a heartbeat connected to an online name or post. That's the underlying puss nature of the internet.

 
GinnyTonic 2009-07-09 04:51:21 PM  
www.theonion.com

 
ga362 2009-07-09 04:53:03 PM  
I just woke up in a bathtub full of ice with a telephone next to me so I'm getting a kick . . .

 
Esc7 2009-07-09 04:53:37 PM  
They made a website for this:

Thanks. No.

/you can thank me later

 
utardsRock 2009-07-09 04:53:56 PM  
My mom sent you pictures of her WHAT???

 
Arxane 2009-07-09 04:55:37 PM  
Pxtl: Damn. If I knew somebody who used that stuff in sermons, I'd take that as an opportunity for pranks. Make a bunch of fake hotmail accounts, put in a FWD:FWD:FWD in the box to make it look like it's made the rounds, and send him a feel-good Christian story full of double-entendre and 4chan memes.

If he were still preaching (he retired a couple years ago), then I'd send you his email address.

"And then the Lord bestowed upon him a vision, where he witnessed over 9000 angels singing the glories of God, and how they would never give him up, never let him down. Beside the chorus sat two beautiful girls imbibing from a lone cup of eternal wine, and further beyond stood a goat...see it recline beside that beautiful lion? Incredibly, the lion spoke in a language only God knew, a language that could only be written incomplete and seemingly indecipherable.

 
The Invisible Sky Wizard 2009-07-09 04:57:49 PM  
Pxtl: Arxane: My mom used to send me these things all the time. Thankfully she learned about Snopes (after hammering it into her over and over again) and she's now more wary of it...though she'll still forward the occasional glurge email that has a Christian-bent message (such as the Amazing Grace Slave Scale video...ugh).

My dad's former boss, an elder pastor, however, is even worse. This guy is computer illiterate and considers any glurge in his inbox to be factual. Therefore one Sunday his sermon will talk about the table cloth that brought two lost lovers together, and the next he'll mention that story about the train track man sacrificing his son for the sake of a train's passengers, and so forth. My dad could not convince him to even consider that these stories might not be true - he would just preach them and then move on.

/Then again, this was from a church that, during a Christmas Eve service, mentioned Harry Potter during a prayer but did not once mention Jesus.
//Honest.

Damn. If I knew somebody who used that stuff in sermons, I'd take that as an opportunity for pranks. Make a bunch of fake hotmail accounts, put in a FWD:FWD:FWD in the box to make it look like it's made the rounds, and send him a feel-good Christian story full of double-entendre and 4chan memes.


Yes. Oh sweet lord, YES. Arxane, take note.

 
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