Jackson goes on to call for the impeachment of President Obama -- "There, I said it" -- then does a handstand on stage that she dedicates to the men and women of the U.S. military.

I didn't think it was possible to come up with a more empty gesture than a yellow ribbon sticker on your car, but she managed to find a way.

/Iraq War veteran.

Impeached for what?

She makes Sarah look smart. I mean smarter.

Trivia Jockey: Impeached for what?

He has to be guilty of something.

Trivia Jockey: Impeached for what?

Lynching - a stereotypical white response for being uppity.
Not that she's a bigot or anything.

Trivia Jockey: Impeached for what?

Bigotry against the stupid?

Trivia Jockey: Impeached for what?

SOCIALISMBIRTHCERTIFICATESEEKRITMUSLIMACORN!11!

what the holy ever loving fark???

Trivia Jockey: Impeached for what?

Secret Muslimism, obviously.

Sgt Otter: Jackson goes on to call for the impeachment of President Obama -- "There, I said it" -- then does a handstand on stage that she dedicates to the men and women of the U.S. military.

I didn't think it was possible to come up with a more empty gesture than a yellow ribbon sticker on your car, but she managed to find a way.

/Iraq War veteran.

I intend to salute your service by going to Toys R Us after work and getting some of the new G.I. Joe toys Hasbro just released.

/Was gonna go to TRU anyway
//But seriously, if you're in NYU I'll buy you a beer.

NYC and goddammit.

Cyberluddite: Trivia Jockey: Impeached for what?

Secret Muslimnism, obviously.

FTFY

Sgt Otter: I didn't think it was possible to come up with a more empty gesture than a yellow ribbon sticker on your car, but she managed to find a way.

/Iraq War veteran.

It's not even a sticker. It's a magnet. My brother has one with a "made in China" label on it.

/support fail.

what_now: Sgt Otter: I didn't think it was possible to come up with a more empty gesture than a yellow ribbon sticker on your car, but she managed to find a way.

/Iraq War veteran.

It's not even a sticker. It's a magnet. My brother has one with a "made in China" label on it.

/support fail.

It's amazingly stupid and phony. It's LESS supportive than a bumper sticker, because it says, "I support the troops, but not enough to risk a bit of gunk on my bumper."

Bloody William: Sgt Otter: Jackson goes on to call for the impeachment of President Obama -- "There, I said it" -- then does a handstand on stage that she dedicates to the men and women of the U.S. military.

I didn't think it was possible to come up with a more empty gesture than a yellow ribbon sticker on your car, but she managed to find a way.

/Iraq War veteran.

//But seriously, if you're in NYU I'll buy you a beer.

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Amusingly enough, when we were in Iraq, we got some banner from some beer company, about how MILLER SUPPORTS THE TROOPS OF [insert completely mangled named of our unit that isn't even close to being right]. They also threw in some can cozies, hats, and some frisbees. No beer, though

You could tell who the hardcore alcoholics were, as they frantically tore through the styrofoam peanuts looking for the actual beer.

"WHAT THE FARK MAN? WHAT THE FARK IS THIS COCK-TEASE SHIAT?!?

Sgt Otter: Now that's what I'm talking about!

Amusingly enough, when we were in Iraq, we got some banner from some beer company, about how MILLER SUPPORTS THE TROOPS OF [insert completely mangled named of our unit that isn't even close to being right]. They also threw in some can cozies, hats, and some frisbees. No beer, though

You could tell who the hardcore alcoholics were, as they frantically tore through the styrofoam peanuts looking for the actual beer.

"WHAT THE FARK MAN? WHAT THE FARK IS THIS COCK-TEASE SHIAT?!?

Ouch. And double-ouch for the Miller. It's gotta suck that... alcohol's banned in that country, like most Muslim states, right? It wasn't even allowed on bases?

I brought a 12-pack of Bass to my friend's July 4th barbecue. He took all the Bud and Miller Lights out of the fridge to make room for it.

/"Let's make room for the good beer!"
//I'll drink Miller Light if it's free, because I love the environment.

Sgt Otter: Bloody William: Sgt Otter: Jackson goes on to call for the impeachment of President Obama -- "There, I said it" -- then does a handstand on stage that she dedicates to the men and women of the U.S. military.

I didn't think it was possible to come up with a more empty gesture than a yellow ribbon sticker on your car, but she managed to find a way.

/Iraq War veteran.

//But seriously, if you're in NYU I'll buy you a beer.

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Amusingly enough, when we were in Iraq, we got some banner from some beer company, about how MILLER SUPPORTS THE TROOPS OF [insert completely mangled named of our unit that isn't even close to being right]. They also threw in some can cozies, hats, and some frisbees. No beer, though

You could tell who the hardcore alcoholics were, as they frantically tore through the styrofoam peanuts looking for the actual beer.

"WHAT THE FARK MAN? WHAT THE FARK IS THIS COCK-TEASE SHIAT?!?

Ew. Miller? How hard up do you have to be to drink that shiat.

Sgt Otter: You could tell who the hardcore alcoholics were, as they frantically tore through the styrofoam peanuts looking for the actual beer Miller Lite.

Good God!

Bloody William: I brought a 12-pack of Bass to my friend's July 4th barbecue. He took all the Bud and Miller Lights out of the fridge to make room for it.

I went to a stranger's BBQ (friend of The Boy) and asked for a beer. The guy reached in the bucket, past the 12 of Sam Adams I brough, the lose Harpoons and assorted delicious beers, and came up with a Miller Genuine Draft.

Can.

You really can't do anything in that situation. You can't tell a stranger you won't drink the swill in his hand.

I summon the spirit of Phil Hartman to smite that biatch.

what_now: Bloody William: I brought a 12-pack of Bass to my friend's July 4th barbecue. He took all the Bud and Miller Lights out of the fridge to make room for it.

I went to a stranger's BBQ (friend of The Boy) and asked for a beer. The guy reached in the bucket, past the 12 of Sam Adams I brough, the lose Harpoons and assorted delicious beers, and came up with a Miller Genuine Draft.

Can.

You really can't do anything in that situation. You can't tell a stranger you won't drink the swill in his hand.

If he wasn't the host, you damned well better tell him he's a douche!

what_now: Bloody William: I brought a 12-pack of Bass to my friend's July 4th barbecue. He took all the Bud and Miller Lights out of the fridge to make room for it.

I went to a stranger's BBQ (friend of The Boy) and asked for a beer. The guy reached in the bucket, past the 12 of Sam Adams I brough, the lose Harpoons and assorted delicious beers, and came up with a Miller Genuine Draft.

Can.

You really can't do anything in that situation. You can't tell a stranger you won't drink the swill in his hand.

You brought the Sam and he hands you a near beer... Fark that

Diogenes: I summon the spirit of Phil Hartman to smite that biatch.

Be nice to her. Her brother just died.

FriarReb98: If he wasn't the host, you damned well better tell him he's drinking a douche!

Yeah, but can she suck it while doing that handstand?

neglogon: You brought the Sam and he hands you a near beer... Fark that

Well, see I dropped the Sam in the bucket w/ the ice. As you do. Then, I went and did introductions, played with the dog etc etc. So I've been at this party for a few minutes, and the guy sitting next to the cooler didn't look, he just reached down and grabbed something.

He was drinking a Keystone Light so to him the MGD was probably a step up.

Bloody William: Sgt Otter: Now that's what I'm talking about!

Amusingly enough, when we were in Iraq, we got some banner from some beer company, about how MILLER SUPPORTS THE TROOPS OF [insert completely mangled named of our unit that isn't even close to being right]. They also threw in some can cozies, hats, and some frisbees. No beer, though

You could tell who the hardcore alcoholics were, as they frantically tore through the styrofoam peanuts looking for the actual beer.

"WHAT THE FARK MAN? WHAT THE FARK IS THIS COCK-TEASE SHIAT?!?

Ouch. And double-ouch for the Miller. It's gotta suck that... alcohol's banned in that country, like most Muslim states, right? It wasn't even allowed on bases?

I brought a 12-pack of Bass to my friend's July 4th barbecue. He took all the Bud and Miller Lights out of the fridge to make room for it.

/"Let's make room for the good beer!"
//I'll drink Miller Light if it's free, because I love the environment.

Consumption of alcohol by U.S. troops in Iraq is banned under the All Powerful, Gweat and Tewwible General Order Number One. This doesn't apply to our allies. There were Romanian troops (from Transylvania, with Dracula-themed unit patches) getting hammered in the Food Court at Camp Liberty.

There's Non-Alcoholic beer available in the dining facility, but most guys don't even bother. Some guys had some mailed to them, sometimes it got seized, but a lot slipped through. Oh, and the "green food coloring in Vodka and packaged in a mouthwash bottle" trick doesn't work.

Some Iraqis do drink. Our area also had a pretty large Christian population, as you can see here:



A few of the enterprising Coptic Christians were bootlegging tallboys of Tuborg, some halfway decent gin, and this incredibly vile whiskey to American troops.

We'd also keep an eye on (Islamic) Iraqi weddings, as they like to get shiatfaced drunk and fire off a few bursts into the air from their AK-47s. Each family is allowed to have one, as long as they register it with us.

Usually, after a few rounds, they'd get bold enough to point at the .50 caliber machineguns or Mark 19 fully automatic grenade launchers on our trucks and ask us:

"Mis-tah! Mis-tah! My brotha! Ees married. Please. The big gun? Shoot! Yes? Aww, please, mis-tah?"

Sgt Otter: Usually, after a few rounds, they'd get bold enough to point at the .50 caliber machineguns or Mark 19 fully automatic grenade launchers on our trucks and ask us:

"Mis-tah! Mis-tah! My brotha! Ees married. Please. The big gun? Shoot! Yes? Aww, please, mis-tah?"

So...did you????

what_now: Bloody William: I brought a 12-pack of Bass to my friend's July 4th barbecue. He took all the Bud and Miller Lights out of the fridge to make room for it.

I went to a stranger's BBQ (friend of The Boy) and asked for a beer. The guy reached in the bucket, past the 12 of Sam Adams I brough, the lose Harpoons and assorted delicious beers, and came up with a Miller Genuine Draft.

Can.

You really can't do anything in that situation. You can't tell a stranger you won't drink the swill in his hand.

BBQ at the in-laws on Saturday. I brought a case of Blue Moon & when I opened the fridge to put it in, there were 2 shelves full of Rolling Rock and Miller Lite.

/Thank God I brought something I could drink!
//My brother-in-law tasted the Blue Moon. He made a face & dumped it.

Adjective Bird Whiskey: Yeah, but can she suck it while doing that handstand?

Reminds me of one of my favorite Blond jokes --

Q: What do you call a blond standing on her hands?

A: A brunette with bad breath.

Hard to believe that an entertainer is seeking to be a big wheel in the GOP.

TFA: In such a climate, it strikes me as . . . well, almost un-American to be griping so vehemently about helping those less fortunate. Were this a war, we'd all dig a little deeper to buy guns and battleships.

Well, we're in a war, and we've got to dig a little deeper to provide jobs and economic band-aids.

QFT. Why do these teabaggers hate America so much?

brigid_fitch: //My brother-in-law tasted the Blue Moon. He made a face & dumped it.

I like it - orange slice and all. But I would say it's not for everyone.

Sgt Otter: There's Non-Alcoholic beer available in the dining facility

Do they issue you some blanks for your rifle too, for all the fark-all good it'll do?

Sucks about General Order 1, but glad you're back from there.

Not that I'd begrudge anyone the right to want to fire a farking huge, cool gun, but I never understood the fire-into-the-air thing at Iraqi/Afghani weddings. I mean... don't those bullets come down somewhere, generally at a velocity that can injure or kill?

Makes more sense to fire somewhere you farking know where the rounds will go. Like, get a junker pick-up truck and blast the shiat out of it in the middle of a field. Firing straight up seems kinda... Darwin awards dumb.

Your Faith is Creepy: QFT. Why do these teabaggers hate America so much?

I'm convinced that they are just anarchists.

what_now: Sgt Otter: Usually, after a few rounds, they'd get bold enough to point at the .50 caliber machineguns or Mark 19 fully automatic grenade launchers on our trucks and ask us:

"Mis-tah! Mis-tah! My brotha! Ees married. Please. The big gun? Shoot! Yes? Aww, please, mis-tah?"

So...did you????

Ha. The Mark 19? No. Each individual round, when it detonates creates a killing radius of 5 meters, and a wounding radius of 15 meters. You usually fire it in 3 to 5 round bursts. Not something you play with for shiats and giggles.

The M2-HB .50 caliber Heavy Machine Gun?

"White 4 Actual, this is White Six Eagle"
"Send it."
"Roger, local friendlies are requesting a Show-of-Force demonstration on the primary weapon system on Two Actual's horse."
"They want the Deuce? Who's getting married?"
"Mustafa's nephew."
"Yeah, I guess we owe him for that tip last week. All White Elements, Two is doing a test-fire. Don't panic."

"Platoon Daddy gave it the okay. Have your Golf light it up."
"Hey Dirt McGurt, you're cleared hot. Send it."
"Roger. ON THE WAY!!!"



So, yes, about 20 of these took off in about a second. Every fifth round is a tracer. The men whooped and cheered, the women covered their ears and glared at us.

/For scale, I wear a Men's Large in gloves.

Sgt Otter: what_now: Sgt Otter: Usually, after a few rounds, they'd get bold enough to point at the .50 caliber machineguns or Mark 19 fully automatic grenade launchers on our trucks and ask us:

"Mis-tah! Mis-tah! My brotha! Ees married. Please. The big gun? Shoot! Yes? Aww, please, mis-tah?"

So...did you????

Ha. The Mark 19? No. Each individual round, when it detonates creates a killing radius of 5 meters, and a wounding radius of 15 meters. You usually fire it in 3 to 5 round bursts. Not something you play with for shiats and giggles.

The M2-HB .50 caliber Heavy Machine Gun?

"White 4 Actual, this is White Six Eagle"
"Send it."
"Roger, local friendlies are requesting a Show-of-Force demonstration on the primary weapon system on Two Actual's horse."
"They want the Deuce? Who's getting married?"
"Mustafa's nephew."
"Yeah, I guess we owe him for that tip last week. All White Elements, Two is doing a test-fire. Don't panic."

"Platoon Daddy gave it the okay. Have your Golf light it up."
"Hey Dirt McGurt, you're cleared hot. Send it."
"Roger. ON THE WAY!!!"



So, yes, about 20 of these took off in about a second. Every fifth round is a tracer. The men whooped and cheered, the women covered their ears and glared at us.

/For scale, I wear a Men's Large in gloves.

That's farking cool. And those are some huge goddamn bullets.

bronyaur1: Hard to believe that an entertainer is seeking to be a big wheel in the GOP.

Victoria Jackson is a rabid right-wing conservative and I can't figure out why. She's like Ann Coulter or Michelle Bachman, only not quite as smart (and I'm not calling those two smart).

timmy_the_tooth: Your Faith is Creepy: QFT. Why do these teabaggers hate America so much?

I'm convinced that they are just anarchists.

This isn't about anarchy, despite all of their anti-government rhetoric. Many of these people are just dissatisfied right-wingers, bitter partisan reactionaries who are angry that "their side" didn't win last November and "the enemy" is now in control of the government.

Bloody William: This isn't about anarchy, despite all of their anti-government rhetoric. Many of these people are just dissatisfied right-wingers, bitter partisan reactionaries who are angry that "their side" didn't win last November and "the enemy" is now in control of the government

Actually, that does make more sense, because when Bush was in office I never head a peep from them about how the government is too big.

Sgt Otter:

So, yes, about 20 of these took off in about a second. Every fifth round is a tracer. The men whooped and cheered, the women covered their ears and glared at us.

/For scale, I wear a Men's Large in gloves.

This story made me giggle. You just got yourself favorited for it.

/son of a Navy .50 cal. TBF Avenger tailgunner.
//stay safe, ok?

Sgt Otter: words



I said I liked UNIFORMS. Not that I understood....weaponry.

/btw, I finally figured out what hat you were talking about. You are...correct about that.

Epsilon: bronyaur1: Hard to believe that an entertainer is seeking to be a big wheel in the GOP.

Victoria Jackson is a rabid right-wing conservative and I can't figure out why. She's like Ann Coulter or Michelle Bachman, only not quite as smart (and I'm not calling those two smart).

IIRC she comes from a family of religious conservative whackaloons, so she was raised to be that stupid.

what_now: Sgt Otter: words



I said I liked UNIFORMS. Not that I understood....weaponry.

/btw, I finally figured out what hat you were talking about. You are...correct about that.



This one? I'm not sure I remember what I said about it.

/I'm a Cavalry Scout, not Infantry, in case you're wondering why I'm not wearing a big-ass Combat Infantryman's Badge.

Sgt Otter: This one? I'm not sure I remember what I said about it.

Never mind. It was NSFW.

Also, I'm not wondering why you aren't wearing a big-ass combat infantryman's badge because I don't have a clue what that is.

I have a girl scout uniform. I can tell you what that means.

Sgt Otter: what_now: Sgt Otter: words



I said I liked UNIFORMS. Not that I understood....weaponry.

/btw, I finally figured out what hat you were talking about. You are...correct about that.



This one? I'm not sure I remember what I said about it.

/I'm a Cavalry Scout, not Infantry, in case you're wondering why I'm not wearing a big-ass Combat Infantryman's Badge.

That digital camo is TOO digital. Looks like your shirt's pixelated.

/I kid.

Bloody William: Sgt Otter: what_now: Sgt Otter: words



I said I liked UNIFORMS. Not that I understood....weaponry.

/btw, I finally figured out what hat you were talking about. You are...correct about that.



This one? I'm not sure I remember what I said about it.

/I'm a Cavalry Scout, not Infantry, in case you're wondering why I'm not wearing a big-ass Combat Infantryman's Badge.

That digital camo is TOO digital. Looks like your shirt's pixelated.

/I kid.

Heh. We some incredibly obnoxious Neo-con embedded reporters with us Iraq, whose articles about us were total garbage. Coincidentally, one of them got greenlit here on Fark, and I kind of got carried away about how much of a piece of shiat this guy was, and how much we couldn't stand the farkhead. Of course, after FINALLY convincing his fan club I was the real deal, they got incredibly butthurt and tried to get me in trouble with my command. They even called up a few CID units (like the Army version of NCIS) to have me "arrested for slander."

Sgt Otter: Heh. We some incredibly obnoxious Neo-con embedded reporters with us Iraq, whose articles about us were total garbage. Coincidentally, one of them got greenlit here on Fark, and I kind of got carried away about how much of a piece of shiat this guy was, and how much we couldn't stand the farkhead. Of course, after FINALLY convincing his fan club I was the real deal, they got incredibly butthurt and tried to get me in trouble with my command. They even called up a few CID units (like the Army version of NCIS) to have me "arrested for slander."

You can smell the troop-supporting conservatism from here.shiat, I don't care if you think Barack Obama is a communist Muslim abortiomancer, if you wear the uniform and don't commit war crimes, you have my support (if not necessarily my respect when it comes to politics).

Sucks that they gave you a hard time. Thin-skinned douchebags. Feh.

Sgt Otter: "Roger. ON THE WAY!!!"

I giggled--nice story. When I tried to re-tell it to my husband, though, I had to keep stopping to explain.

/Dad was Korean war vet, older brother was Gulf War vet, younger brother currently stationed @ COB Speicher, youngest brother a former Marine.
//Thanks for serving, Sgt. If you're ever at the Jersey Shore, I'll buy you a beer.

Sgt Otter: /I'm a Cavalry Scout, not Infantry, in case you're wondering why I'm not wearing a big-ass Combat Infantryman's Badge.

Christ that's a dangerous job.

But I see you're wearing what appears to be the Combat Action Badge. How do the non-infantry types feel about the CAB?