Hey, here's a joke: What do Emmanuel Lewis and I have in common?

A: WE'RE SICK OF F*CKING MICHAEL JACKSON

Scalpers suck.

I wonder how much Cocaine residue is on all the Thriller album covers being sold on Ebay right now?

Tons of them on sale over at cragslist.

Damn that supply-and-demand free market!

AntiNorm: Scalpers suck.

And how.

Why they are not tickets for anything anymore, they are just pieces of paper.

At the record company meeting
On their hands - a dead star
And oh, the plans they weave
And oh, the sickening greed

At the record company party
On their hands - a dead star
The sycophantic slags all say :
"I knew him first, and I knew him well"


Re-issue ! Re-package ! Re-package !
Re-evaluate the songs
Double-pack with a photograph
Extra Track (and a tacky badge)


A-list, playlist
"Please them , please them !"
"Please them !"
(sadly, THIS was your life)


But you could have said no
If you'd wanted to
You could have said no
If you'd wanted to


BPI, MTV, BBC
"Please them ! Please them !"
(sadly this was your life)


But you could have said no
If you'd wanted to
You could have walked away
...Couldn't you ?


I touched you at the soundcheck
You had no real way of knowing
In my heart I begged "Take me with you ...
I don't care where you're going..."


But to you I was faceless
I was fawning, I was boring
Just a child from those ugly new houses
Who could never begin to know


Who could never really know
Oh ...


Best of ! Most of !
Satiate the need
Slip them into different sleeves !
Buy both, and feel deceived


Climber - new entry, re-entry
World tour ! ("media whore")
"Please the Press in Belgium !"
(THIS was your life...)


And when it fails to recoup ?
Well, maybe :
You just haven't earned it yet, baby


I walked a pace behind you at the soundcheck
You're just the same as I am
What makes most people feel happy
Leads us headlong into harm


So, in my bedroom in those 'ugly new houses'
I danced my legs down to the knees
But me and my 'true love'
Will never meet again ...


At the record company meeting
On their hands - at last ! - a dead star !
But they can never taint you in my eyes
No, they can never touch you now


No, they cannot hurt you, my darling
They cannot touch you now
But me and my 'true love'
Will never meet again

/sick and farking tired of the wall-to-wall Jackson coverage.

DarthBrooks: Damn that supply-and-demand free market!

Yes. I mean, money should ALWAYS be more important than things like, say, having farking respect for a function that was meant to be free, for people who appreciated the works of a man. Damn that pinko communist family of his for not trying to squeeze a few extra dollars out of this bandwagon.

But I bet they wont refund the ones that were sold already and paid through pay-pal will they? That would mean giving up that nice handling charge.

The free-market economy my ass.

He's dead, he won't be there, who cares?

eBay is a private company. They can make whatever farking rules they want. That's part of the beauty of a free market.

Maybe we can move on with our lives and stop worshiping Michael, hm?

/seriously.

on craigslist

awfulperson: Hey, here's a joke: What do Emmanuel Lewis and I have in common?

A: WE'RE SICK OF F*CKING MICHAEL JACKSON

You did WHAT?

wglantz: awfulperson: Hey, here's a joke: What do Emmanuel Lewis and I have in common?

A: WE'RE SICK OF F*CKING MICHAEL JACKSON

You did WHAT?

He was a child, he didn't know any better.

Q: What does Micheal Jackson and Joey Chestnut have in common?

A: THEY BOTH LOVE TO EAT WEINERS!

That is not fair. Someone may need that money to feed their family. Or pay some money on their sub prime mortgage loan, or credit card debt.

WTF is up with the Irony tag today?

Why did Michael Jackson name his album Bad?

He couldn't spell pathetic.

Someone was selling them on Craigslist Toronto for $500 each. And then you gotta pay to fly to LA.

Found this little gem:

True Michael Jackson fan willing to Prostitute himself to a lucky female ticket winner!

By accepting my offer you will agree to the terms & conditions as follows:
I will provide beautiful luxurious transportation (2009 Infiniti G37) to and from Staples Center, I will provide a delicious lunch or dinner to your choice, anyplace, ANYWHERE!
Hotel Room w/Bottle Service & Jacuzzi. Intense Physical Session will follow and I will do the following:
- 30 - 45 Min Full Body Massage
- Mins, Seconds, or Hours of Hot Oral Fellatio
- Mindblowing Intercourse that will cause the entire hotel floor to hear us!
- Candle Lit BathTub Massage w/Champagne, Rose Petals, & Soft Music!
- and 3 tickets to Disneyland and/or California Adventure Land

FYI:
I am not an ugly person (at least I dont think I am), I have been complimented on my looks (that could be people just trying to be nice), and I take good care of myself hygiene wise!
I have no STDs! I am 5'11, Hispanic, Brown Eyes, Medium Build and im alot of Fun!

Last night they were going like hotcakes with $1,000 buy it nows. I saw one completed Best Offer at 15K, though I don't know if it was real or not.

fark. Michael Jackson.

This shiat is un-real.

Enough already. Jebus.

I don't understand the MJ craze. Yes, he had some good songs 20 years ago, but ever since then people have been making him the butt of jokes.

It's like the media made a unanimous decision on the day he died: Now that he's dead, we'll love him and not call him a freaky pedophillic self-hating black man who looks like a white woman!

Were these tickets free when they were given out, or did people have to pay to go to this?

Tickets to a funeral...I suppose I've seen it all now...

GavinTheAlmighty: Were these tickets free when they were given out, or did people have to pay to go to this?

Free

GavinTheAlmighty: Were these tickets free when they were given out, or did people have to pay to go to this?

Free, assigned by lottery. Maybe they should take the corpse on tour.

GavinTheAlmighty: Were these tickets free when they were given out, or did people have to pay to go to this?

Free to begin with.

Every single MJ add on Craigslist has been flagged. Tomorrow is going to be such a zoo here in LA. I think I am going to go down to San Diego tonight to escape it.

man...this is going to be crazier than Bobby Black's funeral

Thanks for the responses, folks.

I guess I don't understand how some people felt such a personal connection with this guy. I mean, paying to go a celebrity's funeral? Weird.

Daffydil: Tickets to a funeral...I suppose I've seen it all now...

I am afraid this is only the beginning. Might as well grab some popcorn, sit back and watch the all of crazy that is going to unfold over next few months.

\extra butter on mine please.

.

Observatory: .

QFT

LMAO I figured that a good majority of people just begging for those tickets only wanted them to put on eBay and cash out... Glad eBay banned them and ruined the enjoyment of a lot of prix.

This reminds me of "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" and the funral for the dead rocker.

"Looks like I'm the only one who paid full price"

Guess that guy on the Today show this morning won't get his $15,000.

Anyone besides me hoping for some good riots to come from all this?

Put the MF'er in the ground already....

wglantz: awfulperson: Hey, here's a joke: What do Emmanuel Lewis and I have in common?

A: WE'RE SICK OF F*CKING MICHAEL JACKSON

You did WHAT?

My first laugh of the day. Thanks.

KingKauff: Anyone besides me hoping for some good riots to come from all this?

You in LA? Cause if you really wanted to start a riot start printing fake tickets and scalping them at the gate.

The longer this spectacle goes on, the more it makes me yell at the television: "HE'S DEAD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! GET TO THE PART ABOUT THE DIRT!!!"

I went on Ebay to see what sort of Michael Jackson crap was being hocked, only to find at least half the ads are for domain names (wanna pay $150,000 for godlovesmichaeljackson.com? )

and people hoping to sell their original copies of Thriller (only played two or three times- $15,000)

as though they're unaware that the planet is alreadly littered with copies of Thriller.

Galen_Rasputin: KingKauff: Anyone besides me hoping for some good riots to come from all this?

You in LA? Cause if you really wanted to start a riot start printing fake tickets and scalping them at the gate.

If by LA you mean Lower Atlanta, then yes I am. Don't need fake tix to start a riot. Remember, this is LA where they celebrate things by rioting. I have this gut feeling that people who have tickets won't be able to get in due to the multitude of those who don't have tickets still showing up and that will be one of the instigators of the riot.

12bnbda: Guess that guy on the Today show this morning won't get his $15,000.

Thats funny, I saw that crap...I like that he was unemployed with three kids and was hoping to cash in....sweet revenge

12bnbda: Guess that guy on the Today show this morning won't get his $15,000.

I missed that (had to go to hell, I mean work). Please inform.

The guy lives in Texas, and just entered out of boredom really. He did look pretty darn happy, like he hit a slot machine. Said he was was thinking of lowering the price because he needed the money. I think the best part was watching Meredith try to take the interview seriously.

KingKauff: Anyone besides me hoping for some good riots to come from all this?

Only if they're thumping on them Westboro Baptists.

KingKauff: 12bnbda: Guess that guy on the Today show this morning won't get his $15,000.

I missed that (had to go to hell, I mean work). Please inform.

For your viewing pleasure.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/31759061#31759061

can we get a greenlight on whatever submission covers the news Jackson's mom (and through her, Joe) got denied right to oversee MJ's property. That's gonna be way more fun to speculate on.

/Dahl already spun the tale of the golden tickets, guys. and at least those kids got candy.

Galen_Rasputin: Maybe they should take the corpse on tour.

Worked for Lincoln!

What about Michael Jackson's brain?

Jenessa: Galen_Rasputin: Maybe they should take the corpse on tour.

Worked for Lincoln!

They gonna bury him 11 times as well?

Cornwell: Yes. I mean, money should ALWAYS be more important than things like, say, having farking respect for a function that was meant to be free, for people who appreciated the works of a man. Damn that pinko communist family of his for not trying to squeeze a few extra dollars out of this bandwagon.

3/10. Hilarious.

BondageFaerie: Found this little gem:

True Michael Jackson fan willing to Prostitute himself to a lucky female ticket winner!

By accepting my offer you will agree to the terms & conditions as follows:
I will provide beautiful luxurious transportation (2009 Infiniti G37) to and from Staples Center, I will provide a delicious lunch or dinner to your choice, anyplace, ANYWHERE!
Hotel Room w/Bottle Service & Jacuzzi. Intense Physical Session will follow and I will do the following:
- 30 - 45 Min Full Body Massage
- Mins, Seconds, or Hours of Hot Oral Fellatio
- Mindblowing Intercourse that will cause the entire hotel floor to hear us!
- Candle Lit BathTub Massage w/Champagne, Rose Petals, & Soft Music!
- and 3 tickets to Disneyland and/or California Adventure Land

FYI:
I am not an ugly person (at least I dont think I am), I have been complimented on my looks (that could be people just trying to be nice), and I take good care of myself hygiene wise!
I have no STDs! I am 5'11, Hispanic, Brown Eyes, Medium Build and im alot of Fun!

Let me get this right. Hispanic guy want's to prostitute himself to a tranny. Buy the tranny dinner. Give tranny a BJ followed by nailing the tranny in the pooper. Give tranny a bath (wash off the poop), massage w/Jesus Juice. Then take tranny to Disneyland (poor mans Neverland).

It sure sounds like a true Michael Jackson fan.

falcescu: Put the MF'er in the ground already....fark that, I say we parade his corpse around the country like we did Reagan's.

Eyebleach: AntiNorm: Scalpers suck.

And how.

This over 9000+

I'm glad nobody stooped to the level of charging for admission officially.

This is just a suggestion but I think all those who registered for tickets should be spayed or neutered!! We have get these people out of the gene pool cause they are really really in the shallow end of the pool!!

They just need to encase MJ in lucite and display it at Neverland like Lenin - I mean, how much embalming would really need to be done, he was half plastic anyway.

Hell, why not just have a posthumous MJ funeral national stadium tour complete with holy MJ relics for sale on the way out.

/"You know, he really looked taller on TV - Oh! Look at that sign, let's go see the Egress!"

This just in: subby fails test to define irony. News at 11.

My father registered for tickets with this intention. I was very disturbed.

msheda: But I bet they wont refund the ones that were sold already and paid through pay-pal will they? That would mean giving up that nice handling charge.

Ebay may own Paypal, but they are run like two distinct companies. Ebay does not and cannot refund PayPal payments.

If Ebay pulls an auction after it closes and the buyer has already paid with Paypal, Paypal does not automatically cancel the payment. It is the buyers choice how to proceed.

PayPal gives them the option to cancel the sale if they want to, but they also have the option to leave the payment out there and complete the sale. We assume that if someone paid for something, they actually want it.

Yeah, and that handling charge is pure evil. How dare a company charge a little money for providing a service. They should do it for free and eat the cost.

Thought they were banned LMAO

This one does not have any bidders, so it isn't like they have to refund anything.

O'Rly? (new window)

rustybender: msheda: But I bet they wont refund the ones that were sold already and paid through pay-pal will they? That would mean giving up that nice handling charge.

Ebay may own Paypal, but they are run like two distinct companies. Ebay does not and cannot refund PayPal payments.


My left hand is very sorry that my right hand keeps punching you in the nuts, but it has no say in the matter. It is an entirely separate body part, with an entirely separate section of the brain controlling it. You have my apologies, and I hope you won't hold this against my left hand. If you would be interested in having my left hand help you off the floor it would be happy to oblige, but be warned that my right hand might see that as an opportune time to punch you in the throat.

If they were giving away the tickets for free, the promoters would have been better off auctioning the tickets on ebay, and then donating the money to the Make a Wish foundation, or some other children's charity.

you all know a bunch of anons behind over 9000 proxies were bidding the tickets up to $99million for the lulz yesterday, right?

How many gonna die tomorrow night? I say 50.

indyguy100: The guy lives in Texas, and just entered out of boredom really. He did look pretty darn happy, like he hit a slot machine. Said he was was thinking of lowering the price because he needed the money. I think the best part was watching Meredith try to take the interview seriously.

That guy is a really good friend of mine, so I am getting a kick out of these replies..
/I told him to get in the car and drive to LA...
//he didn't listen
///tickets didn't sell
////he got really sick of the reporters calling him today.

Galen_Rasputin: KingKauff: Anyone besides me hoping for some good riots to come from all this?

You in LA? Cause if you really wanted to start a riot start printing fake tickets and scalping them at the gate.

Awesome. Burn it down. Don't rebuild anything this time.

KingKauff: riot

Certainly not hoping for it.
But I wouldn't be surprised. And you've got to know that Sharpton and Jesse would be tickled pink to be in town when the police tried to control a ravening mob.

Thisbymaster: Why they are not tickets for anything anymore, they are just pieces of paper.

Not the concert tickets, the public memorial tickets.

mrEdude: I went on Ebay to see what sort of Michael Jackson crap was being hocked, only to find at least half the ads are for domain names (wanna pay $150,000 for godlovesmichaeljackson.com? )

and people hoping to sell their original copies of Thriller (only played two or three times- $15,000)

as though they're unaware that the planet is alreadly littered with copies of Thriller.

I know what you mean... my roomie has one that she got for a buck a few years back at an exchange store.

farking redonkulous

Every circus needs elephants:

Link (new window)

I hope the WBC gets their asses kicked tomorrow by enraged Jackson fans.

Gonzo317: I am afraid this is only the beginning. Might as well grab some popcorn, sit back and watch the all of crazy that is going to unfold over next few months.

\extra butter on mine please.


Orville will butter your popcorn.

Speaking of Cheetos... I was eating some the other day and got one that looked VERY much like the Venus De Milo. I ate it. Art is yummy.