I was a hippie back in the 60s, and also was a beatnik before that.

At that time I did all the usual things, like smoking a lot of dope, eating a lot of pills, smoking more dope, drinking quite a bit, smoking even more dope, eating funny cacti and mushrooms, smoking lots more dope, drinking even more because it all tasted so bad, smoking and lots and lots of dope, and I think you get the picture.

They say if you can remember the 60s, you weren't there, and I guess that holds true in my case. Kennedy and King got killed in 1968, and they threw a big party at Woodstock in 1969, that's about all I recall.

Eventually I was in such hot water with the authorities I had to go to Europe for a year and drink all the beer I could hold, that seemed to cure me more or less; any of you Farkers who are "addicted" to the killer weed might be advised to try this form of therapy, it worked pretty well for me.

I have always noticed, people who smoke a lot of dope in their early years tend to develop heart trouble after they quit; they typically stay healthy for decades afterwards, then keel over unexpectedly at 55 or 60 or so.

You might want to bear that in mind, just in case GLEEEERRRKKKKKKKKKACHCHCHCAAAAKKKKKKK--------

AARP can take their goddamned junk mail and stick it up their ass ....

Guess what we are all going to die. Now at 50 there are basically two things that are going to get you heart and cancer. Exercise and keep your weight under control, its not rocket science.

I am 53 and still chase wife around the bedroom, most of the time she lets me catch her. She is worth catching too even at 49:)

Keep a youthful approach, embrace optimism and don't act your age.

I'm 48, so I'm getting a kick....


/surprised I made it to 48.

museisluse:

Let me try again:
Have you considered going to the doctor or emergency room?

I've been 5 times in the last year, and I don't have insurance, and I'm going to spare you the long, long story of the staph infection or whatever the fark it is I'm battling that doctors can't figure it out. I'm sure they would figure it out actually, if they farking listened to me.

Basically it all started with a large red, itchy bump on my armpit lymph node. I was given 2 antiobiotics and steroids, and what happens? More lumps, now I had one on the other armpit, and a new one underneath the existing one...WAY deep in my armpit. They hurt like hell. The doctors thought it was a staph infection...I got blood tests, I got the nasal staph swab...but nothing turned up. Then they gave me new drugs because I had a crazy allergic reaction to the sulfa drugs they gave me while working in the sun. Then one night I was in the ER because I thought I was going to die. The asshole doc says "You are just dehydrated". I had drank water all day. I wasn't mentally tough enough to explain the situation I was in, and he didn't want to hear it anyways. He even drug tested me because he assumed I was a crackhead or something. When I said I couldn't piss, he took it as "oh you must be hiding something"....but then I pissed brown snot and he looked genuinely concerned. I learned that ER doctors don't give a shiat about what's wrong with you, they just want to stabilize you and get you out of there.

I guess my problem is, is doctors look at me, see a physically fit young man, and assume "he's fine". So much more to the story but I'm not going to waste your time or mine.

/for what its worth, in the drug test, he noted that I had a lot of "trace chemicals" in my urine, and he actually asked me if I smoked embalming fluid laced marijuana cigarettes. Um, no, doc, I don't. So maybe I was poisoned or something.

Ha. My PSA is so low it barely registers. For all I know I may not even have a prostate.

aarp is a bunch of crybabies, gimme, gimme, gimme just because I made it past 50.

I joined just to get lower motel room rates, however their magazine is funnier than the comics.

jjorsett: Ha. My PSA is so low it barely registers. For all I know I may not even have a prostate.

If you got semen, you have a prostate gland.

/Did you think it was all sperm?

Who want's to live forever anyway? Life is not a movie--if it has sucked until 50, it's not suddenly going to get good towards the end.

Sheeeit! I'm 55 and these mofo's have me worried. Still, I go by my maturity level which is ~13.

I don't care WHEN I die, I just care HOW. Let me be fine one day and dead the next. My husband is slowing, painfully succumbing to a fatal illness. It ain't pretty.

cirby: ...and if you're 50, skinny, work out a lot, abstain from everything, etc, etc, etc... it's not really going to make a lot of difference.
=================================

No. That's the stupidiest thing I've ever heard.

However, it IS because people who do all that stuff think 'Hey, I workout and do everything right therefore I MUST be healthy, and never go to the doctor'. Doing all those things vastly lowers your CHANCES of developing heart disease, just like not smoking greatly lowers your CHANCES of developing lung cancer. Doesn't mean you're scot-free.

I'm kind of waiting for a call telling me my father has had a heart attack...he refused to bike to work one day because it was 72 degrees out, which he deemed "too cold for biking", despite the fact that we live in Wisconsin. And the endless Grey Goose cocktails, Marlboro Reds, and raging Republicanism probably don't help.

Farrah Fawcett had anal cancer which was most likely caused by HPV so I should be okay because I don't get farked in the ass other than figuratively.

I'm going to wait for the tox screen on Billy Mays because I'll bet dollars to donuts that he's a tweaker. I mean who didn't think that from the very first time you saw him on one of those stupid commercials.

Michael Jackson's cause of death is going to be a crap shoot. Drugs vs. starvation vs. cardiac myopathy from malnutrition or all three i.e. he had a higher susceptibility to arrhythmias due to his poor nutrition so the normally nonfatal dose of drugs he was taking became fatal.

/obvious...

OscarTamerz:

I'm going to wait for the tox screen on Billy Mays because I'll bet dollars to donuts that he's a tweaker. I mean who didn't think that from the very first time you saw him on one of those stupid commercials.


Nahhh. The ShamWow guy, on the other hand...

I've been feeling lousy on and off for a while, and didn't worry about it until the stupid doctor on the local tv news came on and said, "Most heart attacks don't have the well-known symptoms. You just feel lousy."

Thanks a lot, Doc.

/Started taking vitamins and drinking less, and I feel lots better now.

//Would still like to hit that guy upside the head with a cast-iron skillet.

This thread is relevant to my interests. These recent high-profile deaths have, indeed, secured my attention. I'm enjoying the good wit that many posters are exhibiting. I've decided that I will continue living until I'm at least 90 years old. I love being alive. It's all good.

Is there a proof-read stage for Fark headlines? :P

Selkhit: Is there a proof-read stage for Fark headlines? :P

Yes.

Stay of my lawn however is an Olde English adage in which stay represents Centaurs. Of my represents your first born son, and finally lawn represents trimmed pubic hair. So one would logically interpret this statement as "My first born son, a Centaur, has trimmed pubic hair."

At least that's what I thought the subby was communicating.

safety-math: OscarTamerz:

I'm going to wait for the tox screen on Billy Mays because I'll bet dollars to donuts that he's a tweaker. I mean who didn't think that from the very first time you saw him on one of those stupid commercials.


Nahhh. The ShamWow guy, on the other hand...

Punching out hookers vs. keeling over at 50 hmmm.. how about they're both tweakers along with legions of other whackos.

Last year, there were two in their early 50's, also. Tim Russert and Tony Snow. Both appeared healthy. Though Snow had been treated for cancer and was thought to be recovering.

Wow. Amazing number of farkers are in their 50s apparently.

/in my 50s

That list is one of the reasons for the high cost of healthcare-all the exams and tests.

I hit 52 this year - my parents died at 32 (dad) and 46 (mom) - I'm on farkin borrowed time :)

Thanks for the Meme-ries: /obvious...



Except if you believe in the whole jebus thingie and there was at least one time where there were not 100% deaths that year...

looks like 50 is the new 73
i hope now all the celebs are going to try to die at 50

/or sooner

I got a few tips for making it to your 60's.

Drink mostly water. Occasional juice is ok - low sugar

Don't smoke - ever

Eat healthy foods - fruits, meat, vegetables,

Exercise, exercise, exercise.

My Mom always says, "If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." She's 77.

/51 myself.

GoSurfing: I've been 5 times in the last year, and I don't have insurance

Dude, call your doc up and tell him what happened ASAP. If he doesn't completely suck, he will immediately schedule an EKG, as in "come in RIGHT NOW", and maybe a followup stress test. No doc wants to say "ah, it's probably nothing" with chest shiat like that going on and be wrong. People have heart attacks and don't even know it all the time, and you could already be in heart failure from the sound of it. No one can tell without a look.

Worry about the insurance/money later. Alive and bankrupt is way better than the alternative.

I'm 55 and recently had a friend my same age die of a massive heart attack. He was overweight and sedentary but a genius and s hell of a nice guy, it was a horrible loss and a big shock to us all.

Also had another friend die of pancreatic cancer at 41.

I kicked the corporate rat race a decade ago, moved to a quieter place and am so much happier and healthier for it. Even though it's in Florida. Ha. But I highly recommend dialing down the stressful lifestyle if you can. It makes a big difference.

approves

Sparky The Wonder Ferret: I hit 52 this year - my parents died at 32 (dad) and 46 (mom) - I'm on farkin borrowed time :)

Don't be too sure. My mom's parents both died of cancer in their 30s, and Mom is 83 and going strong. You might have a buttload of time left.

No wonder there are so many smart people who know so much cool stuff here! We're a more mature (in years at least) crowd than I realized. I thought everyone but me was 17 or 24 or something. Wish I could live long but kind of doubt I will no matter what. I'm trying though.

Deranger: No matter what you do, you're still gonna die.

No, I'm not.

Gen. Apathy: I got a few tips for making it to your 60's.

Drink mostly water. Occasional juice is ok - low sugar

Don't smoke - ever

Eat healthy foods - fruits, meat, vegetables,

Exercise, exercise, exercise.


I've lost almost 50 pounds since November. Doctor told me I needed to lose weight because I was at the age to develop some real serious problems. Pretty much eat healthy all the time. Green leafy salads - mostly spinach - iceberg lettuce is bland. Veggies. Lean meats. Fish. No fried food at all. No sugary drinks. Everyone here knows what to do, they just won't do it.

I feel much better than I have in years.

AntiNorm: 50 is the qualifier? I've gotten membership invitations from AARP, and I'm 28.

Lucky bastard.

BIGNICKEL: AntiNorm: 50 is the qualifier? I've gotten membership invitations from AARP, and I'm 28.

Lucky bastard.

You ain't kidding. As a member of the AARP, he gets a free bus ride to the polls, coffee, doughnuts, and a biscuit all from the local Democratic party on election day just for allowing them to talk to him along the way about those evil Republicans that want to take away his Medicare and put him out cold on the streets.

A couple of doctors I know, plus a stroke patient, separately told me that the best way to improve your odds significantly is to take one 88mg baby aspirin daily once you hit 40. Anti-stroke, anti-cardio problems, all kinds of benefits.

Any doctors/healthcare pros on Fark with a comment?

My dad turns 60 tomorrow. But don't tell him that, though. He wants a birthday with no numbers. LOL

feh. I am already in the stay off my lawn stage. At 41.

I'm 56(and a member of AARP) and it'll be a miracle if I live to be 60(seriously). Do I care? Not really.

LOL 50s hahaha, you're old and going to die soon. Step aside grandpa.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NelBNtNm8l0

need to redo my fark addons... copy paste pleez for joke.

El Pachuco: A couple of doctors I know, plus a stroke patient, separately told me that the best way to improve your odds significantly is to take one 88mg baby aspirin daily once you hit 40. Anti-stroke, anti-cardio problems, all kinds of benefits.

Any doctors/healthcare pros on Fark with a comment?

I've had multiple doctors recommend this. If you look at the aspirin shelf at your local drugstore, you'll see that there are a half-dozen brands selling this dosage of aspirin, for that specific purpose.

You don't have to be 50 to be interested in the AARP. As a 33-year-old with some money to invest, I'm FASCINATED by it. After all, with the Boomers starting to go senile en masse, there's shiat-tons of money to be made selling rebranded junk insurance policies.

SuperTramp

To my knowledge, no one has ever been overheard on their deathbed saying "if only I'd spent more time at the office."

I bet quite a lot of people have.

madblader:

LOL 50s hahaha, you're old and going to die soon. Step aside grandpa.

You might be as old as 50 or even older some day. . unless you die first

.

Good health habits help - but it's mostly genetics. You can do everything right, and if the deck is stacked against you, you'll still drop dead at 30.
Question you need to ask yourself is - how long do I WANT to live?
Do you want to live till your mind is gone?
Till you can't hold your shiat and piss?
Till every contemporary , friend, and lover is gone?
Till the whole world is meaningless to you?
I don't.

Do you want to live till your mind is gone?
Too late!

Till you can't hold your shiat and piss?
Depends...

Till every contemporary , friend, and lover is gone?
I'm always making new friends.

Till the whole world is meaningless to you?
Too late!

/ Couple of months shy of 56
// Activities in profile
/// Bring It Mo-Fo...