FTA: "The digital rectal exam should be part of gynecological exam," Alvarez said. "It's really not done because some patients find it uncomfortable. But it at least should be discussed with doctors[because] inspecting of the lower third of rectum can be done with physical examination."

Us men get 'em. I would have thought women got the same digital rectal exams automatically.

I mean, the GYN is already down there with the patient's legs spread and up in stirrups? Why not go for it?

Most of the people I have dealt with who have died suddenly are actually in their 50's-early 60's. Some had known heart problem, CABG, the works. Some just dropped dead.

Submitter: Besides getting your AARP membership (yup, 50 is the qualifier), here's some more tips to help you make it to your 60s, also known as the "stay of off my lawn" stage

FTFY

As I had to deal with Florida retirees yelling at me to stay off their lawns as a kid, when I'm in my 60-plus years, any fraking kid can play on my lawn anytime they want.

/Will just have to put a deposit down for possible broken windows.

Every time I hear some fellow old fart go on about how we're tougher because of seatbelt-less cars, PCBs, dangerous playground equipment, leaded gas, Benzpyrene, etc, I just tell 'em the only reason they're still alive is they aint died yet. All the motherfarkers that did die of seatbelt-less cars, PCBs, dangerous playground equipment, leaded gas, Benzpyrene, etc, are DEAD

.

50 is the qualifier? I've gotten membership invitations from AARP, and I'm 28.

Hah, I made it to sixty and I am just coasting now. I't all downhill from here.

Doh!

AARP can kiss my ass for backing Bush's ripoff Medicare Drug Plan.

AirForceVet: FTA: "The digital rectal exam should be part of gynecological exam," Alvarez said. "It's really not done because some patients find it uncomfortable. But it at least should be discussed with doctors[because] inspecting of the lower third of rectum can be done with physical examination."

Us men get 'em. I would have thought women got the same digital rectal exams automatically.

I mean, the GYN is already down there with the patient's legs spread and up in stirrups? Why not go for it?

This book may help:

AntiNorm: 50 is the qualifier? I've gotten membership invitations from AARP, and I'm 28.
Same here, and I'm 32. If I show them my AARP card, can I get a senior citizens' discount at Denny's?

Stay of my lawn stage?

do you get the extra "f" when you turn 70 to make that Stay "off" my lawn?

"Stay of my lawn" sounds like some crap summer early 90's drama with Cher or something.

I'm in my 30's, but I already have a retirement place. Dead in a N. Vegas motel swimming pool.

What? Makes a hell of lot more sense than some of of the other pipe dreams out there.

Farah Fawcett had cancel.

Michael Jackson had drug problems/OD'd.

Billy Mays was a fat guy with high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Old people die. Particularly old, unhealthy people. If you are in your 50s, ask yourself, "What have I done in the last 30 years to ensure my health and quality of life into my old age?"

If you are 50, fat, don't work out, drink, smoke, etc, etc, etc....then hey, guess what - your time is most likely coming to an end soon.

If you didn't already know this, you're a fool.

Cancer, cancel. Whatever.

Since that saying that 60 is the new 40, I'd think that 50 is the new 30. Or, did I miscalculate something there?

Fark_Guy_Rob: Cancer, cancel. Whatever.

Retirement plan, retirement place. Whatever (me, too).

I just turned sixty, so I'm getting a kick out of this...

Seriously, in my early fifties, one of the local hospitals had free annual prostate exams, with the digital/rectal exam and blood drawn for the prostate antigens. I took them up on it each time. My PSA level actually dropped by the second time.

When I was 48, my then employer paid for annual comprehensive blood screenings. Mine came back with lower cholesterol, triglycerides and everything than even the big fitness buffs in the office. They were exceedingly pissed.

My current employer has the same, but at a subsidized cost and all my numbers still come in on the low side of normal. Sometimes, it is even better than that of my son, who is twenty-nine years younger.

If you are 50, fat, don't work out, drink, smoke, etc, etc, etc....then hey, guess what - your time is most likely coming to an end soon.

...and if you're 50, skinny, work out a lot, abstain from everything, etc, etc, etc... it's not really going to make a lot of difference. Might even be worse, according to your genetic background.

It also turns out, though, that being a little fat is better than being "normal" or thin, as far as life expectancy goes, on the average.

Here's the appropriate slogan: Live Healthy or Die!

Meaning, of course, if you're not living a healthy lifestyle, you might not be around here as long as you otherwise might.

/hit the gym
//hit the juice bar
///hit the veggies
////maybe even take a freakin' walk instead of sitting around in front of the TV (or the computer)

FTFA

Alvarez suggests that men and women in their 50s get annual physicals, and have their blood pressure checked every two years and their cholesterol checked every five years.

Wow, that's some awesome doctorin', there. BP checked every TWO years, but annual checkup? What, do they not check your BP at the annual? Did Alvarez do his residency under Dr. Nick Riviera?

/my doctor made me buy my own BP monitor
//he also told me to do it about once a month at the grocery store's pharmacy BP machine
///and it's the first thing they check as soon as they whisk you into the exam room

Aulus: all my numbers still come in on the low side of normal

If one of those "lows" you are bragging about is HDL, you'd better go get some pills ASAP...I found out the hard way about "low numbers"

Fark_Guy_Rob:
Farah Fawcett had cancel.

Michael Jackson had drug problems/OD'd.

Billy Mays was a fat guy with high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Old people die. Particularly old, unhealthy people. If you are in your 50s, ask yourself, "What have I done in the last 30 years to ensure my health and quality of life into my old age?"

If you are 50, fat, don't work out, drink, smoke, etc, etc, etc....then hey, guess what - your time is most likely coming to an end soon.

If you didn't already know this, you're a fool.



I think people know this stuff.

However, the funny part is that the Boomers are actually dieing and realizing there is nothing they can do about it. No nips, no tucks, no surgery or pill is going to save them.

The really fun part is going to be in approximately 5-10 years when they realize they bankrupted their children who cannot afford to put them in a nice place to live out the rest of their years.

/Baby Boomer Mantra: "I can worry about tomorrow, later."

No matter what you do, you're still gonna die.

Genes, as has been stated above, also mean a lot. Three of my grandparents lived to their mid to late eighties and one great aunt to 99.

My mother just turned 85 and is active in a hiking club, even with an artificial knee. I think my chances are pretty good to be around for a while.

If that is the "good" cholesterol, it was high and the "bad" was low, over all was low. On the last test, the "good" was very high.

Aulus: I just turned sixty, so I'm getting a kick out of this...

Seriously, in my early fifties, one of the local hospitals had free annual prostate exams, with the digital/rectal exam and blood drawn for the prostate antigens. I took them up on it each time. My PSA level actually dropped by the second time.

When I was 48, my then employer paid for annual comprehensive blood screenings. Mine came back with lower cholesterol, triglycerides and everything than even the big fitness buffs in the office. They were exceedingly pissed.

My current employer has the same, but at a subsidized cost and all my numbers still come in on the low side of normal. Sometimes, it is even better than that of my son, who is twenty-nine years younger.

You sound fat.

/sorry
//had to

I'm in my 20's and I'm worried about my death. Couple months ago I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack. No scratch that, I DID have a heart attack. No one can tell me otherwise. I was watching a movie and laughing really hard and my heart stopped, completely. I fell to the ground. My brother and friends thought I was joking because a guy in the movie just had a heart attack or something, I can't remember. It hurt a lot, felt like I was dying. It was a good 4-5 seconds of no heart beat. I got up an took an aspirin and went to sleep. My heart has felt "weak" ever since, and I can feel my heart skip beats. I've always had a weird heart rythym, and I overexhaust myself in everything I do.

I'm not fat either, I'm 5'10 150 lbs. I'm athletic, I excercise.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die from the alarm clock one morning, because the second I hear that sound I jump out of bed. My heart feels weak in the morning too.

Probably heart arrhythmia or something. So yeah, its not just you older folks that are worried.

cirby
...and if you're 50, skinny, work out a lot, abstain from everything, etc, etc, etc... it's not really going to make a lot of difference. Might even be worse, according to your genetic background.

It also turns out, though, that being a little fat is better than being "normal" or thin, as far as life expectancy goes, on the average.

I hate to break it to you, but there is a difference between real life and wishful thinking. I wish my car ran off Unicorn farts - but it's not real life.

Show me one study, even a crappy study, that says 'For some people, with a particular genetic background; it's actually GOOD to be obese, smoke, and drink excessively'.

We all know there are a lot of factors that contribute to how long someone will live. Lots of those factors we can't control; but there are factors we can control.

The CDC says....
http://www.infoplease.com/askeds/smoking-life-expectancy.html
Elsewhere on the site, the CDC mentions in passing that, on average, the life expectancy for smokers is 14 years less than for non-smokers, but I don't know how they define those terms.

Here's another study...
There have been many different studies which have identified that smoking reduces life expectancy. One particular 50 year study revealed that smoking cuts life expectancy by 10 years. Smoking-related deaths are more likely to be by cancer, and around 88% of deaths from lung cancer are from smoking. At least 50% of smokers will eventually be killed by their habit.
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/328/7455/1519

I see the appeal of saying, 'Hey - we're all going to die. Might as well enjoy my life' and if that's how you choose to live your life; do it, and enjoy it. But, the best evidence we've got, suggests that certain activities are going to reduce your lifespan. Pretending otherwise is silly.

And I see I need to work on my HTML, too.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming'WOO HOO, what a ride!'"

/50 and enjoying the ride, baby

Being alive is like being on a reality tv show.

You can get voted out any time, so play as if you are facing elimination this week. Whatever moves you have planned, make them now.

That way, someday when your torch is about to be snuffed out, you won't look back and think "if I knew I was leaving today I would have...".

If you play as if you know you're safe this week, don't be surprised when you get blindsided...BY DEATH!! AHAHA!

AirForceVet: I mean, the GYN is already down there with the patient's legs spread and up in stirrups? Why not go for it?

You must not be married.

That way, someday when your torch is about to be snuffed out, you won't look back and think "if I knew I was leaving today I would have...".

To my knowledge, no one has ever been overheard on their deathbed saying "if only I'd spent more time at the office."

Think about that, all you farking greedy-bastard MBA's out there in Farkistan.

No worries here, I won't be fifty for almost thirteen months.

DistendedPendulusFrenulum: Every time I hear some fellow old fart go on about how we're tougher because of seatbelt-less cars, PCBs, dangerous playground equipment, leaded gas, Benzpyrene, etc, I just tell 'em the only reason they're still alive is they aint died yet. All the motherfarkers that did die of seatbelt-less cars, PCBs, dangerous playground equipment, leaded gas, Benzpyrene, etc, are DEAD

.

F*ckin' thank you. If you look at statistics on accidental deaths over a long time, kids are half as likely to die from accidental causes in this country than they were in the 1980s. I'm an old fark, and at least understand how lucky I am to be alive.

SuperTramp: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming'WOO HOO, what a ride!'"

/50 and enjoying the ride, baby

If you don't take good care of yourself, you are lucky to die young. But most people aren't that lucky. They are used up, worn out, feeling bad and still living for another 10 years. And that sucks. Take decent care of yourself, and all your years will be worth living and enjoyable.

Sorry. Missed the stats. Check out Y6.A on child mortality from 1980 till 2005 on "unintentional injuries."

I have Alzheimers on both sides of my family tree. I have the potential to live to 90, but I won't remember the last 20 or so.

/A gigantic heart attack at 65 or 25 years of senility? Pass the buttered bacon!

GoSurfing: I'm in my 20's and I'm worried about my death. Couple months ago I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack. No scratch that, I DID have a heart attack. No one can tell me otherwise. I was watching a movie and laughing really hard and my heart stopped, completely. I fell to the ground. My brother and friends thought I was joking because a guy in the movie just had a heart attack or something, I can't remember. It hurt a lot, felt like I was dying. It was a good 4-5 seconds of no heart beat. I got up an took an aspirin and went to sleep. My heart has felt "weak" ever since, and I can feel my heart skip beats. I've always had a weird heart rythym, and I overexhaust myself in everything I do.

I'm not fat either, I'm 5'10 150 lbs. I'm athletic, I excercise.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die from the alarm clock one morning, because the second I hear that sound I jump out of bed. My heart feels weak in the morning too.

Probably heart arrhythmia or something. So yeah, its not just you older folks that are worried.

Sounds like you need more coffee, doctors recommend at least three pots a day.

GoSurfing: I'm in my 20's and I'm worried about my death. Couple months ago I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack. No scratch that, I DID have a heart attack. No one can tell me otherwise. I was watching a movie and laughing really hard and my heart stopped, completely. I fell to the ground. My brother and friends thought I was joking because a guy in the movie just had a heart attack or something, I can't remember. It hurt a lot, felt like I was dying. It was a good 4-5 seconds of no heart beat. I got up an took an aspirin and went to sleep. My heart has felt "weak" ever since, and I can feel my heart skip beats. I've always had a weird heart rythym, and I overexhaust myself in everything I do.

I'm not fat either, I'm 5'10 150 lbs. I'm athletic, I excercise.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die from the alarm clock one morning, because the second I hear that sound I jump out of bed. My heart feels weak in the morning too.

Probably heart arrhythmia or something. So yeah, its not just you older folks that are worried.going to a doctor or perhaps the emergency room? Might be worth it.
Or are you trolling?

Have you considered

GoSurfing: I'm in my 20's and I'm worried about my death. Couple months ago I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack. No scratch that, I DID have a heart attack. No one can tell me otherwise. I was watching a movie and laughing really hard and my heart stopped, completely. I fell to the ground. My brother and friends thought I was joking because a guy in the movie just had a heart attack or something, I can't remember. It hurt a lot, felt like I was dying. It was a good 4-5 seconds of no heart beat. I got up an took an aspirin and went to sleep. My heart has felt "weak" ever since, and I can feel my heart skip beats. I've always had a weird heart rythym, and I overexhaust myself in everything I do.

I'm not fat either, I'm 5'10 150 lbs. I'm athletic, I excercise.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die from the alarm clock one morning, because the second I hear that sound I jump out of bed. My heart feels weak in the morning too.

Probably heart arrhythmia or something. So yeah, its not just you older folks that are worried.

Go to the doctor. Get an EKG and blood work done. If you can't afford it, do it anyway.

You may just have high blood pressure - often easy to fix. You may have high blood pressure resulting from an anxiety issue, where adrenaline is not your friend (I say that because of your height/weight/exercise reference) - often even easier to fix (beta blockers FTW).

If you have a heart issue, many of the medications out there are very very cheap (beta blockers, for example) if cost is an issue.

GoSurfing: I'm in my 20's and I'm worried about my death. Couple months ago I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack. No scratch that, I DID have a heart attack. No one can tell me otherwise. I was watching a movie and laughing really hard and my heart stopped, completely. I fell to the ground. My brother and friends thought I was joking because a guy in the movie just had a heart attack or something, I can't remember. It hurt a lot, felt like I was dying. It was a good 4-5 seconds of no heart beat. I got up an took an aspirin and went to sleep. My heart has felt "weak" ever since, and I can feel my heart skip beats. I've always had a weird heart rythym, and I overexhaust myself in everything I do.

I'm not fat either, I'm 5'10 150 lbs. I'm athletic, I excercise.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die from the alarm clock one morning, because the second I hear that sound I jump out of bed. My heart feels weak in the morning too.

Probably heart arrhythmia or something. So yeah, its not just you older folks that are worried.

Let me try again:
Have you considered going to the doctor or emergency room?

Excen
I have Alzheimers on both sides of my family tree. I have the potential to live to 90, but I won't remember the last 20 or so.

/A gigantic heart attack at 65 or 25 years of senility? Pass the buttered bacon!

Or you could wind up like my mother's best friend - 86 and healthy as a horse, but so terrified of death she hasn't eaten anything but grass since WWII or had anything resembling fun since her wedding night in 1946. No thanks. Quality, not quantity.

Fark_Guy_Rob: Farah Fawcett had cancel.

Michael Jackson had drug problems/OD'd.

Billy Mays was a fat guy with high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Old people die. Particularly old, unhealthy people. If you are in your 50s, ask yourself, "What have I done in the last 30 years to ensure my health and quality of life into my old age?"

If you are 50, fat, don't work out, drink, smoke, etc, etc, etc....then hey, guess what - your time is most likely coming to an end soon.

If you didn't already know this, you're a fool.

I resemble that remark...damm tomorrow is Monday?..shoot..

I'm 52.....all of a sudden I don't feel too good.

You should only be concerned AT ANY AGE if you are abusing the same medications that these celebs were.

FTFA: Other screenings/medical recommendations to consider in your 50s:

- Stay physically active. Don't be a couch potato.
- Stay mentally active. Read. Think. Troll Fark.

Above all:
- Find an interest. A hobby. Something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning.

All these young Celebs dying is troubling and very scary. Oh yeah, one thing to add to the list of things to avoid, bullets. Really bummed out about McNair. Ex-Nashvillian.

ironrat: No worries here, I won't be fifty for almost thirteen months.

Fourteen for me. Damn.

Doctors have said I have the body - and heart - of a 20 year old. (And I'm not giving her back, either!) But I've started working out lately. Mostly because tipping the scales at 190 was unacceptable, as was my accumulating belly fat.

family history of heart disease
this summer marks 2 years no smoking and 5 years no alchohol

healthy eating - my mantra 5 days a week -
no bread - no potatoes - no sweets no treats and no seconds

my healthy activity today (new window) out and back 7 miles

6'- 175 lbs - i will be 50 in 3 years
another good run (new window) 11.5 mile loop

I said:
It also turns out, though, that being a little fat is better than being "normal" or thin, as far as life expectancy goes, on the average.

Fark_Guy_Rob:

I hate to break it to you, but there is a difference between real life and wishful thinking. I wish my car ran off Unicorn farts - but it's not real life.

Show me one study, even a crappy study, that says 'For some people, with a particular genetic background; it's actually GOOD to be obese, smoke, and drink excessively'.

Not the point, and not what I said.

What I DID say was that it's not going to make a big difference - a few years at most for most people - and that being a little above the common model for "normal" is actually good for you. (I see that you combined two different ideas into one, but that's not the point).

Sure, smoking's bad for you. Usually. But what that CDC study you quoted DIDN'T say was that smoking-related cancer and death rates are highly influenced by genetics - it's not an automatic death sentence. My family is one of those "smoking will kill you early" ones - I don't smoke. On the other hand, I know some families where EVERYONE smokes like chimneys, they're all very active, and the only ones that die young tend to die from things like falling off cliffs while climbing mountains.

Note again that I'm NOT saying that smoking's good for you - but for quite a few people, it's not that bad, either. There's been such a huge effort to make smokers feel like criminals (and make them criminals, when that didn't work), that a lot of incidental research has been ignored, especially when it comes to smoking and genetics.

Ditto for a lot of dietary work. The whole "skinny is better" movement came from some limited studies, and managed to cause a lot of scientists to forge the link that insists that if you're (pick one or more) overweight, don't exercise right, drink alcohol or eat the "wrong" kinds of foods, you CAN'T be healthy. Meanwhile, millions of people have been living long, healthy lives while doing combinations of those, due to a lack of genetic predispositions to one or another of the issues that kill them early.

Now, we know that a "normal" or lower BMI isn't actually the most healthy one for a lot of people, that you can drink alcohol without becoming a lush (and most people probably should drink at least some), and that a moderately-imbalanced diet can actually be good for many folks.

I'm 50 years old, resting heart rate of 60, I have a 29 BMI. Did a 35 mile bike ride yesterday, passed a whole lot of skinny people half my age. From my family history, if I keep in my current (overweight) shape, I have a decent shot at making 100 in good health - as long as I don't smoke.

Not all risk factors are the same for all people.

I was a hippie back in the 60s, and also was a beatnik before that.

At that time I did all the usual things, like smoking a lot of dope, eating a lot of pills, smoking more dope, drinking quite a bit, smoking even more dope, eating funny cacti and mushrooms, smoking lots more dope, drinking even more because it all tasted so bad, smoking and lots and lots of dope, and I think you get the picture.

They say if you can remember the 60s, you weren't there, and I guess that holds true in my case. Kennedy and King got killed in 1968, and they threw a big party at Woodstock in 1969, that's about all I recall.

Eventually I was in such hot water with the authorities I had to go to Europe for a year and drink all the beer I could hold, that seemed to cure me more or less; any of you Farkers who are "addicted" to the killer weed might be advised to try this form of therapy, it worked pretty well for me.

I have always noticed, people who smoke a lot of dope in their early years tend to develop heart trouble after they quit; they typically stay healthy for decades afterwards, then keel over unexpectedly at 55 or 60 or so.

You might want to bear that in mind, just in case GLEEEERRRKKKKKKKKKACHCHCHCAAAAKKKKKKK--------

AARP can take their goddamned junk mail and stick it up their ass ....

Guess what we are all going to die. Now at 50 there are basically two things that are going to get you heart and cancer. Exercise and keep your weight under control, its not rocket science.

I am 53 and still chase wife around the bedroom, most of the time she lets me catch her. She is worth catching too even at 49:)

Keep a youthful approach, embrace optimism and don't act your age.

I'm 48, so I'm getting a kick....


/surprised I made it to 48.

museisluse:

Let me try again:
Have you considered going to the doctor or emergency room?

I've been 5 times in the last year, and I don't have insurance, and I'm going to spare you the long, long story of the staph infection or whatever the fark it is I'm battling that doctors can't figure it out. I'm sure they would figure it out actually, if they farking listened to me.

Basically it all started with a large red, itchy bump on my armpit lymph node. I was given 2 antiobiotics and steroids, and what happens? More lumps, now I had one on the other armpit, and a new one underneath the existing one...WAY deep in my armpit. They hurt like hell. The doctors thought it was a staph infection...I got blood tests, I got the nasal staph swab...but nothing turned up. Then they gave me new drugs because I had a crazy allergic reaction to the sulfa drugs they gave me while working in the sun. Then one night I was in the ER because I thought I was going to die. The asshole doc says "You are just dehydrated". I had drank water all day. I wasn't mentally tough enough to explain the situation I was in, and he didn't want to hear it anyways. He even drug tested me because he assumed I was a crackhead or something. When I said I couldn't piss, he took it as "oh you must be hiding something"....but then I pissed brown snot and he looked genuinely concerned. I learned that ER doctors don't give a shiat about what's wrong with you, they just want to stabilize you and get you out of there.

I guess my problem is, is doctors look at me, see a physically fit young man, and assume "he's fine". So much more to the story but I'm not going to waste your time or mine.

/for what its worth, in the drug test, he noted that I had a lot of "trace chemicals" in my urine, and he actually asked me if I smoked embalming fluid laced marijuana cigarettes. Um, no, doc, I don't. So maybe I was poisoned or something.

Ha. My PSA is so low it barely registers. For all I know I may not even have a prostate.

aarp is a bunch of crybabies, gimme, gimme, gimme just because I made it past 50.

I joined just to get lower motel room rates, however their magazine is funnier than the comics.

jjorsett: Ha. My PSA is so low it barely registers. For all I know I may not even have a prostate.

If you got semen, you have a prostate gland.

/Did you think it was all sperm?

Who want's to live forever anyway? Life is not a movie--if it has sucked until 50, it's not suddenly going to get good towards the end.

Sheeeit! I'm 55 and these mofo's have me worried. Still, I go by my maturity level which is ~13.

I don't care WHEN I die, I just care HOW. Let me be fine one day and dead the next. My husband is slowing, painfully succumbing to a fatal illness. It ain't pretty.

cirby: ...and if you're 50, skinny, work out a lot, abstain from everything, etc, etc, etc... it's not really going to make a lot of difference.
=================================

No. That's the stupidiest thing I've ever heard.

However, it IS because people who do all that stuff think 'Hey, I workout and do everything right therefore I MUST be healthy, and never go to the doctor'. Doing all those things vastly lowers your CHANCES of developing heart disease, just like not smoking greatly lowers your CHANCES of developing lung cancer. Doesn't mean you're scot-free.

I'm kind of waiting for a call telling me my father has had a heart attack...he refused to bike to work one day because it was 72 degrees out, which he deemed "too cold for biking", despite the fact that we live in Wisconsin. And the endless Grey Goose cocktails, Marlboro Reds, and raging Republicanism probably don't help.

Farrah Fawcett had anal cancer which was most likely caused by HPV so I should be okay because I don't get farked in the ass other than figuratively.

I'm going to wait for the tox screen on Billy Mays because I'll bet dollars to donuts that he's a tweaker. I mean who didn't think that from the very first time you saw him on one of those stupid commercials.

Michael Jackson's cause of death is going to be a crap shoot. Drugs vs. starvation vs. cardiac myopathy from malnutrition or all three i.e. he had a higher susceptibility to arrhythmias due to his poor nutrition so the normally nonfatal dose of drugs he was taking became fatal.

/obvious...

OscarTamerz:

I'm going to wait for the tox screen on Billy Mays because I'll bet dollars to donuts that he's a tweaker. I mean who didn't think that from the very first time you saw him on one of those stupid commercials.


Nahhh. The ShamWow guy, on the other hand...

I've been feeling lousy on and off for a while, and didn't worry about it until the stupid doctor on the local tv news came on and said, "Most heart attacks don't have the well-known symptoms. You just feel lousy."

Thanks a lot, Doc.

/Started taking vitamins and drinking less, and I feel lots better now.

//Would still like to hit that guy upside the head with a cast-iron skillet.

This thread is relevant to my interests. These recent high-profile deaths have, indeed, secured my attention. I'm enjoying the good wit that many posters are exhibiting. I've decided that I will continue living until I'm at least 90 years old. I love being alive. It's all good.

Is there a proof-read stage for Fark headlines? :P

Selkhit: Is there a proof-read stage for Fark headlines? :P

Yes.

Stay of my lawn however is an Olde English adage in which stay represents Centaurs. Of my represents your first born son, and finally lawn represents trimmed pubic hair. So one would logically interpret this statement as "My first born son, a Centaur, has trimmed pubic hair."

At least that's what I thought the subby was communicating.

safety-math: OscarTamerz:

I'm going to wait for the tox screen on Billy Mays because I'll bet dollars to donuts that he's a tweaker. I mean who didn't think that from the very first time you saw him on one of those stupid commercials.


Nahhh. The ShamWow guy, on the other hand...

Punching out hookers vs. keeling over at 50 hmmm.. how about they're both tweakers along with legions of other whackos.

Last year, there were two in their early 50's, also. Tim Russert and Tony Snow. Both appeared healthy. Though Snow had been treated for cancer and was thought to be recovering.

Wow. Amazing number of farkers are in their 50s apparently.

/in my 50s

That list is one of the reasons for the high cost of healthcare-all the exams and tests.

I hit 52 this year - my parents died at 32 (dad) and 46 (mom) - I'm on farkin borrowed time :)

Thanks for the Meme-ries: /obvious...



Except if you believe in the whole jebus thingie and there was at least one time where there were not 100% deaths that year...

looks like 50 is the new 73
i hope now all the celebs are going to try to die at 50

/or sooner

I got a few tips for making it to your 60's.

Drink mostly water. Occasional juice is ok - low sugar

Don't smoke - ever

Eat healthy foods - fruits, meat, vegetables,

Exercise, exercise, exercise.

My Mom always says, "If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." She's 77.

/51 myself.

GoSurfing: I've been 5 times in the last year, and I don't have insurance

Dude, call your doc up and tell him what happened ASAP. If he doesn't completely suck, he will immediately schedule an EKG, as in "come in RIGHT NOW", and maybe a followup stress test. No doc wants to say "ah, it's probably nothing" with chest shiat like that going on and be wrong. People have heart attacks and don't even know it all the time, and you could already be in heart failure from the sound of it. No one can tell without a look.

Worry about the insurance/money later. Alive and bankrupt is way better than the alternative.

I'm 55 and recently had a friend my same age die of a massive heart attack. He was overweight and sedentary but a genius and s hell of a nice guy, it was a horrible loss and a big shock to us all.

Also had another friend die of pancreatic cancer at 41.

I kicked the corporate rat race a decade ago, moved to a quieter place and am so much happier and healthier for it. Even though it's in Florida. Ha. But I highly recommend dialing down the stressful lifestyle if you can. It makes a big difference.

approves

Sparky The Wonder Ferret: I hit 52 this year - my parents died at 32 (dad) and 46 (mom) - I'm on farkin borrowed time :)

Don't be too sure. My mom's parents both died of cancer in their 30s, and Mom is 83 and going strong. You might have a buttload of time left.

No wonder there are so many smart people who know so much cool stuff here! We're a more mature (in years at least) crowd than I realized. I thought everyone but me was 17 or 24 or something. Wish I could live long but kind of doubt I will no matter what. I'm trying though.

Deranger: No matter what you do, you're still gonna die.

No, I'm not.

Gen. Apathy: I got a few tips for making it to your 60's.

Drink mostly water. Occasional juice is ok - low sugar

Don't smoke - ever

Eat healthy foods - fruits, meat, vegetables,

Exercise, exercise, exercise.


I've lost almost 50 pounds since November. Doctor told me I needed to lose weight because I was at the age to develop some real serious problems. Pretty much eat healthy all the time. Green leafy salads - mostly spinach - iceberg lettuce is bland. Veggies. Lean meats. Fish. No fried food at all. No sugary drinks. Everyone here knows what to do, they just won't do it.

I feel much better than I have in years.

AntiNorm: 50 is the qualifier? I've gotten membership invitations from AARP, and I'm 28.

Lucky bastard.

BIGNICKEL: AntiNorm: 50 is the qualifier? I've gotten membership invitations from AARP, and I'm 28.

Lucky bastard.

You ain't kidding. As a member of the AARP, he gets a free bus ride to the polls, coffee, doughnuts, and a biscuit all from the local Democratic party on election day just for allowing them to talk to him along the way about those evil Republicans that want to take away his Medicare and put him out cold on the streets.

A couple of doctors I know, plus a stroke patient, separately told me that the best way to improve your odds significantly is to take one 88mg baby aspirin daily once you hit 40. Anti-stroke, anti-cardio problems, all kinds of benefits.

Any doctors/healthcare pros on Fark with a comment?

My dad turns 60 tomorrow. But don't tell him that, though. He wants a birthday with no numbers. LOL

feh. I am already in the stay off my lawn stage. At 41.

I'm 56(and a member of AARP) and it'll be a miracle if I live to be 60(seriously). Do I care? Not really.

LOL 50s hahaha, you're old and going to die soon. Step aside grandpa.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NelBNtNm8l0

need to redo my fark addons... copy paste pleez for joke.

El Pachuco: A couple of doctors I know, plus a stroke patient, separately told me that the best way to improve your odds significantly is to take one 88mg baby aspirin daily once you hit 40. Anti-stroke, anti-cardio problems, all kinds of benefits.

Any doctors/healthcare pros on Fark with a comment?

I've had multiple doctors recommend this. If you look at the aspirin shelf at your local drugstore, you'll see that there are a half-dozen brands selling this dosage of aspirin, for that specific purpose.

You don't have to be 50 to be interested in the AARP. As a 33-year-old with some money to invest, I'm FASCINATED by it. After all, with the Boomers starting to go senile en masse, there's shiat-tons of money to be made selling rebranded junk insurance policies.

SuperTramp

To my knowledge, no one has ever been overheard on their deathbed saying "if only I'd spent more time at the office."

I bet quite a lot of people have.

madblader:

LOL 50s hahaha, you're old and going to die soon. Step aside grandpa.

You might be as old as 50 or even older some day. . unless you die first

.

Good health habits help - but it's mostly genetics. You can do everything right, and if the deck is stacked against you, you'll still drop dead at 30.
Question you need to ask yourself is - how long do I WANT to live?
Do you want to live till your mind is gone?
Till you can't hold your shiat and piss?
Till every contemporary , friend, and lover is gone?
Till the whole world is meaningless to you?
I don't.

Do you want to live till your mind is gone?
Too late!

Till you can't hold your shiat and piss?
Depends...

Till every contemporary , friend, and lover is gone?
I'm always making new friends.

Till the whole world is meaningless to you?
Too late!

/ Couple of months shy of 56
// Activities in profile
/// Bring It Mo-Fo...

I'm 49, and find that the best way to stay young is to fool around with younger women. And, when you are 49, there are a LOT of younger women.

Got my temporary AARP card in the mail just after I bought my first house!!!

But I was 30 at the time. :o(

JK8Fan: Everyone here knows what to do, they just won't do it.

I feel much better than I have in years.

THIS & more of THIS

Fark_Guy_Rob: cirby
...and if you're 50, skinny, work out a lot, abstain from everything, etc, etc, etc... it's not really going to make a lot of difference. Might even be worse, according to your genetic background.

It also turns out, though, that being a little fat is better than being "normal" or thin, as far as life expectancy goes, on the average.

I hate to break it to you, but there is a difference between real life and wishful thinking. I wish my car ran off Unicorn farts - but it's not real life.

Show me one study, even a crappy study, that says 'For some people, with a particular genetic background; it's actually GOOD to be obese, smoke, and drink excessively'.

We all know there are a lot of factors that contribute to how long someone will live. Lots of those factors we can't control; but there are factors we can control.

The CDC says....
http://www.infoplease.com/askeds/smoking-life-expectancy.html
Elsewhere on the site, the CDC mentions in passing that, on average, the life expectancy for smokers is 14 years less than for non-smokers, but I don't know how they define those terms.

Here's another study...
There have been many different studies which have identified that smoking reduces life expectancy. One particular 50 year study revealed that smoking cuts life expectancy by 10 years. Smoking-related deaths are more likely to be by cancer, and around 88% of deaths from lung cancer are from smoking. At least 50% of smokers will eventually be killed by their habit.
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/328/7455/1519

I see the appeal of saying, 'Hey - we're all going to die. Might as well enjoy my life' and if that's how you choose to live your life; do it, and enjoy it. But, the best evidence we've got, suggests that certain activities are going to reduce your lifespan. Pretending otherwise is silly.

I bet you think you are always right. And a great driver!