Lowly, bloody convicts.
Oh wait...

Police are investigating reports that a man, driving a silver Holden Commodore utility, stopped at the scene and stole a produce.

At least he didn't steal a shrubbery.

Is "overturned product truck" like "magician produce rabbit"?

Lettuce not think that this man represents humanity at large.

2xhelix:

At least he didn't steal a shrubbery.

As long as it's nice, and not too expensive it should be OK.

Is the answer b) ?

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Lettuce not think that this man represents humanity at large.

You're saying you'd have the grapes to pass up such a plum opportunity?

What's the singular of produce?

I would have loaded up in order to avoid such unpleasantness.

This surprises me why? People are vultures. They see something lying around, they assume it's up for grabs.

Driving back to Atlanta from Savannah, GA one time we came across a produce truck on the side of the road, on its side and its contents spilled on the side of the road. Cars were lined up just grabbing fruit and driving off. This was just a few months ago.

Same sort of thing happens when someone gets evicted from an apartment around here. All their stuff gets thrown on to the corner of the street and people sift through it looking for free shiat. It's rather disgusting to see.

it's 'c'. always.

1) help the driver
2) "hey, can I grab a crate of that? they're just going to have to throw it away anyway."
3) call the police

So, B, C, A.

Keywork99: This surprises me why? People are vultures. They see something lying around, they assume it's up for grabs.

Driving back to Atlanta from Savannah, GA one time we came across a produce truck on the side of the road, on its side and its contents spilled on the side of the road. Cars were lined up just grabbing fruit and driving off. This was just a few months ago.

Same sort of thing happens when someone gets evicted from an apartment around here. All their stuff gets thrown on to the corner of the street and people sift through it looking for free shiat. It's rather disgusting to see.


In the absence of consequences, primal gathering instincts override empathy and compassion.

Let he who would not take free food cast the first tomato.

It's not like letting the produce go to waste was going to bring the driver back from death. I just hope there wasn't brain matter on the arugula. That truly would be sick.

Wasilla Hillbilly: What's the singular of produce?

I would have loaded up in order to avoid such unpleasantness.

The singular of produce is product.

Probably not.

He's become a sage for our times.

Jubeebee: In the absence of consequences, primal gathering instincts override empathy and compassion.

Yes, what's known as the "Lord of the Flies" theory of human behavior.

Happens all the time.

>> Do you a) call the police, b) render assistance, or c) hey, free produce

If it's produce from a big corporate grower like Dole you steal every bit you can lay your hands on.

Then you torch the truck if it's not already totaled.

Wasilla Hillbilly: What's the singular of produce?

I would have loaded up in order to avoid such unpleasantness.

I know! This is going to be the biggest deal in this thread. "A produce" HAHAHA What a farking moran! Asshat! Stupid journalist!!

Not that I care, just sayin'

Back when we were growing up, a fairly large train carrying consumer goods derailed just a few miles from our house. You would nave been amazed at how many fine upstanding community citizens "helped themselves" to the spilled goods, which ranged from TV's to appliances to whiskey (from Jack Daniels' distillery, no less).

The police were basically powerless to stop this since the derailment was over a mile in length and in a very rural section of TN, despite the screams of outrage from the railroad company.

We didn't go over there, but we did walk the tracks occasionally picking up spilled coal for my dad's workshop cast iron stove. It never failed that within a few minutes a railroad official would show up and tell us we couldn't be on their R/W and asked us to leave.

Police are investigating reports that a man, driving a silver Holden Commodore utility, stopped at the scene and stole a produce.

Hey, that sounds good. Waiter, one produce, please.

Well...if its just going to get thrown away...

I can't stand people who take leeks on the road. Throw the book at him!

It's wrong to steal.

Glad to see my home town in the news....

As someone who regularly loots from overturned vehicles, i'm getting a kick out of there replies, etc, etc....

I can has a produce?

Let's Gopher Broke!!! (new window)

Nobody has posted the Simpsons sugar truck incident yet? For shame!!

gadian: Well...if its just going to get thrown away...

And the driver was dead, so it's not like rendering assistance would have brought him back to life...

Back in PA where I grew up the police would be filling up right next to you.

timetokill: Nobody has posted the Simpsons sugar truck incident yet? For shame!!

To the BEEmobile!

You mean your Chevy?

Yes.

lenfromak: Back in PA where I grew up the police would be filling up right next to you.

So your cops were honest.

I once lived in a town where a good chunk of the police dept got busted for running a burglary ring.

Jubeebee: You're saying you'd have the grapes to pass up such a plum opportunity?

I don't want to get beet up for any misdoings or shenanigans!

budsterr: It's not like letting the produce go to waste was going to bring the driver back from death. I just hope there wasn't brain matter on the arugula. That truly would be sick.

Ah, but this is Australia; your arugula is rocket.

/tasty cheese

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Jubeebee: You're saying you'd have the grapes to pass up such a plum opportunity?

I don't want to get beet up for any misdoings or shenanigans!

This thread is peppered with corny puns.

Or do what Homer would have done: give the truck driver a quarter so he can call for help, collect all the produce in your trunk, and sell it door-to-door for the low, low price of a dollar a pound.

Just RTFA, poor truck driver :(

mjoven1975: I can't stand people who take leeks on the road. Throw the book at him!

This thread is peppered with corny puns.

Wait... are you saying that you want to squash these kinds of posts?

I encourage something else. We must be vigilant and watchful. We must be on gourd.

"If only the sugar were as sweet as you, sir..."

What kind of meat is produce?

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: mjoven1975: I can't stand people who take leeks on the road. Throw the book at him!

This thread is peppered with corny puns.

Wait... are you saying that you want to squash these kinds of posts?

I encourage something else. We must be vigilant and watchful. We must be on gourd.

So we shouldn't parsnip these puns in the bud?

Wasilla Hillbilly: What's the singular of produce?

I would have loaded up in order to avoid such unpleasantness.

I ACCIDENTALLY A PRODUCE- the whole thing!!!

mjoven1975: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: mjoven1975: I can't stand people who take leeks on the road. Throw the book at him!

This thread is peppered with corny puns.

Wait... are you saying that you want to squash these kinds of posts?

I encourage something else. We must be vigilant and watchful. We must be on gourd.

So we shouldn't parsnip these puns in the bud?

I carrot even begin to imagine Fark without the occasional pun thread.

MasterShakezula: "If only the sugar were as sweet as you, sir..."

Shards of broken glass and blasting caps are prizes!

All three. Produce is going to go bad if it's not consumed soon.

I expected more Aussie insults: someone make with the roo-barbs.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: mjoven1975: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: mjoven1975: I can't stand people who take leeks on the road. Throw the book at him!

This thread is peppered with corny puns.

Wait... are you saying that you want to squash these kinds of posts?

I encourage something else. We must be vigilant and watchful. We must be on gourd.

So we shouldn't parsnip these puns in the bud?

I carrot even begin to imagine Fark without the occasional pun thread.

Me either. I pay $5 of my parsley celery because I look forward to the pun threads so much.

Something like that happened once here with a truck load of beer.

People actually waited for hours until a representative of the beer company came in and saw the situation. Once he declared that the beer was "useless to sell", people pounced on the truck like hyenas. Drunken hyenas.

Englebert Slaptyback: I expected more Aussie insults: someone make with the roo-barbs.

mjoven1975: Me either. I pay $5 of my parsley celery because I look forward to the pun threads so much.

Hah!

Hey, we just gotta kale 'em as we see 'em.

After all, it's not about where you've bean but where you're going.

"Produce" is an uncountable quantity of agricultural goods. By definition it has no singular form and thus should not be used in the singular.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener

After all, it's not about where you've bean but where you're going.


Quite true, but so many are too nervous even to potato in the water, let alone forage ahead.

mandingueiro: it's 'c'. always.

Keywork99: This surprises me why? People are vultures. They see something lying around, they assume it's up for grabs.

I, for one, just grabbed a silicone dildo off the church lawn across the street. Looks just like a giant translucent pink penis. Boiled it, soaked it in Purex, and am gonna try it on the girlfriend after suppies. Hope no AIDS or Hep(A||B||C)! Lulz! DILDY DILDY DILDY

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Englebert Slaptyback: I expected more Aussie insults: someone make with the roo-barbs.

mjoven1975: Me either. I pay $5 of my parsley celery because I look forward to the pun threads so much.

Hah!

Hey, we just gotta kale 'em as we see 'em.

After all, it's not about where you've bean but where you're going.

Chaya, I have to agree with you.

Englebert Slaptyback: Quite true, but so many are too nervous even to potato in the water, let alone forage ahead.

Orange you glad that we're doing what we can for their morale?

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Englebert Slaptyback: Quite true, but so many are too nervous even to potato in the water, let alone forage ahead.

Orange you glad that we're doing what we can for their morale?

I know that I yam!

mjoven1975: Chaya, I have to agree with you.

I would have felt like a son of a peach if you didn't.

Well I am medical expert so I would call the cops, try and make him/her comfortable and load up the trunk..... Is that wrong?
Oh well I do carry a little first aid kit so maybe try and stop any bleeding?

mjoven1975: I know that I yam!

Excellent!

Olive it when a plan comes together!

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: mjoven1975: Chaya, I have to agree with you.

I would have felt like a son of a peach if you didn't.

I would hate for you to feel meloncholy over such small potatoes.

Queensland Police Commissioner Fifi has stated "this is a despicable act"

mjoven1975: I would hate for you to feel meloncholy over such small potatoes.

What would come of such subsequent failures?

I'd be left saying, "Cloves... but no cigar..."

mjoven1975

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Englebert Slaptyback: Quite true, but so many are too nervous even to potato in the water, let alone forage ahead.

Orange you glad that we're doing what we can for their morale?

I know that I yam!


Tuber really honest, I am impressed with both of you pungents.

Please try to pear down your usage of puns.

CygnusDarius:
Something like that happened once here with a truck load of beer.

People actually waited for hours until a representative of the beer company came in and saw the situation. Once he declared that the beer was "useless to sell", people pounced on the truck like hyenas. Drunken hyenas.

And why shouldn't they? They waited until it was on the up and up instead of just grabbing and running. The beer would otherwise be pointlessly wasted.

Englebert Slaptyback: Tuber really honest, I am impressed with both of you pungents.

Thank you!

We can't rest on our laurels, though. I never like to take such diversions for pomegranate.


Donald_McRonald: Please try to pear down your usage of puns.

At least I'm truthful in my shenanigans.

I would NEVER lime to you.

Why didn't the mango out of his way to help that driver? Artichoke him out if I ever see him. I tell you what though, if I were his boss and I ever found out about this, he certainly wouldn't be recieving a celery from me much longer.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: mjoven1975: I would hate for you to feel meloncholy over such small potatoes.

What would come of such subsequent failures?

I'd be left saying, "Cloves... but no cigar..."

Thanks to your help, this thread sprouted into a cornucopia of quirky quibbles.

Well this thread has been fun, but I have a honeydew list to complete. Have pun everybody!

FTA:Police are investigating reports that a man, driving a silver Holden Commodore utility, stopped at the scene and stole a produce.
durrrr....

What? Why didn't he steal three produces instead of just a produce?

How's THIS for a fancy nickname: Why didn't the mango out of his way to help that driver? Artichoke him out if I ever see him. I tell you what though, if I were his boss and I ever found out about this, he certainly wouldn't be recieving a celery from me much longer.

When the possibility of personal gain enters the picture, some people will berry their feelings and do what they can for themselves.


mjoven1975: Thanks to your help, this thread sprouted into a cornucopia of quirky quibbles.

Heh, what's wrong with raisin a little hell here and there?

mjoven1975: Well this thread has been fun, but I have a honeydew list to complete. Have pun everybody!

Açaí what you did there.

Have a good one!

worth it just for the produce

Tegeril: "Produce" is an uncountable quantity of agricultural goods. By definition it has no singular form and thus should not be used in the singular.

ok smartguy, then what word should we use to refer to a single item of a nondescript agricultural, uh, thing?

Wasilla Hillbilly: Tegeril: "Produce" is an uncountable quantity of agricultural goods. By definition it has no singular form and thus should not be used in the singular.

ok smartguy, then what word should we use to refer to a single item of a nondescript agricultural, uh, thing?

It would be whatever the produce was.

The truck hauling carrots was full of produce. It spilled. I went and picked up a carrot.

/Editor.

Hate to squash your ideas, but free is free

EggFool: 2xhelix:

At least he didn't steal a shrubbery.

As long as it's nice, and not too expensive it should be OK.

I like laurel, especially.

Ask yourselves, Farkers. Be honest. Don't lie to yourself. What if it was you? And it was beer? GOOD beer?

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Hate to squash your ideas, but free is free

You never know where a free lunch will turnip.


jso2897: Ask yourselves, Farkers. Be honest. Don't lie to yourself. What if it was you? And it was beer? GOOD beer?

I don't have very high hops for humanity, but I try to keep myself in line.

It's the yeast anyone could do.

jso2897: Ask yourselves, Farkers. Be honest. Don't lie to yourself. What if it was you? And it was beer? GOOD beer?

Well in that case I, uh.. we- er

Okay, you've got us there dude.

jso2897: Ask yourselves, Farkers. Be honest. Don't lie to yourself. What if it was you? And it was beer? GOOD beer?

If it was GOOD beer it would be a moot point, because all the bottles would have broken on impact. Nice try for the moral angle, though.

Oh fark it, I'm leaving this thread in TMLO's capable hands. He is all Budweiser than me.


/Fare-thee-well, brocolli.

How's THIS for a fancy nickname: Oh fark it, I'm leaving this thread in TMLO's capable hands. He is all Budweiser than me.

Stop back soon, this kinda stuff is good for what ales ya!

Gyrfalcon: jso2897: Ask yourselves, Farkers. Be honest. Don't lie to yourself. What if it was you? And it was beer? GOOD beer?

If it was GOOD beer it would be a moot point, because all the bottles would have broken on impact. Nice try for the moral angle, though.

Unless it was a keg.

I has stolen a produce.

EggFool: 2xhelix:

At least he didn't steal a shrubbery.

As long as it's nice, and not too expensive it should be OK.

or perhaps two, with a bi level effect, and path down the middle?

Finder's keeper's!

Mmmmmm. Tossed salad.

Read your town charter, boy.

"If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot." Since I don't see him around...start shoveling!

Came for King Douchenozzle von Crunk's "I sell produce" picture. Leaving disappointed.

moebetterbooze: Read your town charter, boy.

"If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot." Since I don't see him around...start shoveling!

That's nothing, I get a pig every month! As well as "two comely lasses of virtue true".

A freightliner carrying a shipment for a grocery store wrecked years back in the city I delivered to as a courier. The towing company towed the trailer back to their yard but parked it in an unfenced area, probably because it was too big. The thing had a major crack in the side and you could see all of these boxes of canned and bottled goods.

No one bothered guarding the trailer during the night and by morning, a large amount of the goods had vanished.

Then again, the tow company was right on the edge of a high crime minority area.

By the next morning, 3/4 of the trailer was empty. I figure a lot of folks had suddenly obtained cases of soup, canned vegetables, jars of sauce, bottles of pickles and probably a lot of laundry detergent.

Knowing the area, I'm surprised they left the tires on the rig.