Only because fashion magazines tell them it should be.

And all these years I thought it was "need someone to pay my bills"....

Monthly cycles aren't ahead of that? Interesting.

I'd have thought it'd be tight jar lids.

On the other hand you've got that whole boobs thing going for you, which is nice.

Is this the thread where we show how sensitive we are to women's woes?

Which brings us to the bad news: There is no cure.

Sure there is. It's called losing weight. Well, losing fat and gaining muscle.

/oatz 'n squatz

Alacritous: Only because fashion magazines tell them it should be.

This one the fashion mags got right. Cellulite is a curse.

Kiribub: Monthly cycles aren't ahead of that? Interesting.

Yeah, I thought 'The Curse' was the curse, of course.

Bucky Katt: This one the fashion mags got right. Cellulite is a curse.

Wow.

cellulite is the most common curse known to womankind

Yeah, I'm sure all those chicks in Darfur are worried SICK about having cottage cheese thighs..

LordZorch 2009-07-04 11:12:38 AM
And all these years I thought it was "need someone to pay my bills"....

oh it is. how the hell do they get so many pairs of shoes while paying their bills?

Last One Left: I'd have thought it'd be tight jar lids.

My guess was driving.

Are my nipples aligned?

/readjust

No i'm pretty sure painful periods is number 1.
I couldnt care less about how my body looks while i'm withering on the floor in pain.

Alacritous: Only because fashion magazines tell them it should be.

Ditto. Being pretty never helped anyone. No idea why modern women are still obsessed with it.

I don't have children or feelings, so I guess cellulite is #1 for me.

Oh poor babies, they got all fat and stretched out. And here I thought that equality and respect was their main concerned. I guess looks are way more important to women than actually being considered as human.

That's funny, womankind is the most common curse of mankind.

moothemagiccow: Ditto. Being pretty never helped anyone. No idea why modern women are still obsessed with it.

Hey, I'm all about the pretty girls, but not at the expense of their health or well being. That's just dumb. And it's the fashion mags that push unhealthy choices.

At this point in my life, my desires in a woman rank pretty much like this:

1. Will not cut my dick off when I sleep
2. No diagnosed psychoses
3. No undiagnosed psychoses
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40. Can support herself emotionally and economically
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600. Cellulite is kind of icky

I guess my point is you're hot or you're not. Blowing money on makeup and plastic surgery isn't going to change much. I'm just tired of the magazines telling the redheads they need to tan. Not everyone's into mexican girls.

TheOther: Kiribub: Monthly cycles aren't ahead of that? Interesting.

Yeah, I thought 'The Curse' was the curse, of course.

The Curse is the curse, of course, of course
And no one can top The Curse of course
When, of course, the The Curse, of course, is the famous Mrs. Red

Dear girls,

No straight man gives a frak about cellulite, no matter what fan fluttering fashion moguls might tell you.

See porn, strippers and most married women for details on what straight men seem to prefer.

Personally, I find a little junk in the trunk to be a plus. Usually means good food follows good borking.

just saying...

moothemagiccow: I'm just tired of the magazines telling the redheads they need to tan. Not everyone's into mexican girls.

Thanks! I have people say rude things about how pale I am all the time.

nijika: Dear girls,

No straight man gives a frak about cellulite, no matter what fan fluttering fashion moguls might tell you.

See porn, strippers and most married women for details on what straight men seem to prefer.

Your titty bar sucks

B.S.

Being attractive or not is, for many women, the largest contributing factor in their quality of life. If you are an attractive woman you can pretty much float through life and have all of your needs met by various men who appreciate your attractiveness.

While such a thing is possible for men, it occurs much, much, much less frequently.

And the most common cures to mankind? That's right, having to listen to some women (thankfully, not all women) yap on like Chihuahuas about how hard they've got it.

On a serious note, I once heard Hillary Clinton (but it could have been most anyone) taking about the people hardest hit by war: That would be the widows and orphans.

The actually DEAD GUYS don't even get a mention.

We're going to have to see pictorial evidence of said thighs in order to make a valid judgement on the veracity of this article.

Fark_Guy_Rob:
Being attractive or not is, for many women, the largest contributing factor in their quality of life. If you are an attractive woman you can pretty much float through life and have all of your needs met expect to DIAF set by jealous shrews.

FTFY. "Womankind"s worst curse is too frequently other women.

I'm a man who (at this point in my life) cares very little about what women think, like someone very wise said a long time ago, if it wasnt for that gooey hole between their legs that felt so damn good, we would have little use for them.

Seriously though -- it's not rocket science. Put down the microwave chocolate cake, and get off your celluite ridden ass and go for a walk, start working out, there is no magic pill or injection that can fix the fact you are fat and lazy.

I agree with Fark Guy Rob though -- if you are smoking hot odds are you won't have to work that hard in life. Nothing wrong with that really, but when you turn 42 and realize you don't have a damn thing to your name or a way to earn income then you are farked. It's actually more shameful for the men that play "sugar daddy" in my opinion. I don't mind doing nice things sometimes, but any woman I'm interested in better damn well be financially independent and never use the words "spoil me".

It's 2009 - didn't women biatch about being treated equal all these years? When you boil it all down all they really want is someone to kiss their ass, play their game, and pay for their shiat.

THINGS WOMEN WORRY ABOUT:
Grey hair,
Wrinkles,
Crows feet,
Sagging tits,
Growing ass,
Flapping arms,
Hormones,
Younger, prettier women.

...that biatch on the bottom...she's moving up.

The unfailingly vapid, yet smug columns of fashionable diarrhea spurted out weekly by that bimbo Leah Maclaren make me stabby. That is all.

/wobble wobble

Fark_Guy_Rob: B.S.

Being attractive or not is, for many women, the largest contributing factor in their quality of life. If you are an attractive woman you can pretty much float through life and have all of your needs met by various men who appreciate your attractiveness.


Those lucky biatches. I want some free stuff too!

(I have used the word biatch several times today. More times than ever in my life. No reason.)

bearded clamorer 2009-07-04 02:51:03 PM

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Front butt. Strangely disturbing...
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Fark_Guy_Rob: B.S.

Being attractive or not is, for many women, the largest contributing factor in their quality of life. If you are an attractive woman you can pretty much float through life and have all of your needs met by various men who appreciate your attractiveness.

While such a thing is possible for men, it occurs much, much, much less frequently.

yeah pretty women never get raped either

accelerus:
It's 2009 - didn't women biatch about being treated equal all these years? When you boil it all down all they really want is someone to kiss their ass, play their game, and pay for their shiat.

Despite having a penis, I wouldnt mind any of that stuff

Headless Medusa: THINGS WOMEN WORRY ABOUT:
Grey hair,
Wrinkles,
Crows feet,
Sagging tits,
Growing ass,
Flapping arms,
Hormones,
Younger, prettier women.

...that biatch on the bottom...she's moving up.
.
.
.
Thought the headless thing might be higher on the list...
.
.
.
/No head
//bummer

Alacritous: Only because fashion magazines tell them it should be.

That and it's gross.

I believe I can see San Diego in this thread.

I weigh around 200 lbs, but I am also almost 6 foot tall, so I can hide a lot. I would love to have something in the trunk to offset the mommy mound in the front. If I would work out consistently, that would probably shrink, but without plastic surgery, it would probably always be there.

Overall, I still have about a gazillion other things to worry about. Like right now, the grill is ready and the hubby is three sheets. Fire department on standby.

Yes, some men are dogs. Yes, some stray when with beautiful women (Brad Pitt?)

However, it's amazing what a woman keeping in shape vs. ballooning up once in a relationship will do for said relationship.

I work in essentially a retirement community and I see hundreds of couples. It certainly seems that the men with women who still are petite or at least make an effort are much happier than the ones I see with manatees. The look of defeat in those men's faces is palpable.

Stop be a lazy slob and lose some weight if you don't want your partner to cheat. That goes for both sexes.

My girlfriend has cellulite, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/don't care, touching is much better that staring at

cherryl taggart: If I would work out consistently, that would probably shrink, but without plastic surgery, it would probably always be there.

First Law of Thermodynamics, etc.

accelerus: but when you turn 42 and realize you don't have a damn thing to your name or a way to earn income then you are farked.

And your name is Elizabeth Wurtzel.

If life has taught me anything, its that almost noone looks perfect or almost perfect after age 25.

Do the best you can, excersize a little,eat somewhat decently and stop giving a fark. Your friends and loved ones probably could care less unless you have a serious medical condition or are quite over or underweight.

Does anyone have that poster "And you said your problem was what now...?"

/pic of African villagers-the front one having an anaphylactic reaction to something?
//Thanks

Hey, a bit of marbling makes them tender!

Ah, men and women. We all share the same three curses. Four if you count women themselves.

Top three things women are worried about:

Douchebags who think possession of a penis entitles them to real-life-photoshopped vision of perfection.

Douchebags who think possession of a penis and persistence entitles them to the attention of any woman ever.

Period cramps.

/Yeah, yeah, sound fat, ugly, unlaid, whatever.

Synaesthete: Top three things women are worried about:

Douchebags who think possession of a penis entitles them to real-life-photoshopped vision of perfection.

Douchebags who think possession of a penis and persistence entitles them to the attention of any woman ever.

Period cramps.

/Yeah, yeah, sound fat, ugly, unlaid, whatever.
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.
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Why would you actually worry about the first two? You sound perfectly capable of cutting them off at the knees....
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/Daisy Cutters

Mykeru: And the most common cures to mankind? That's right, having to listen to some women (thankfully, not all women) yap on like Chihuahuas about how hard they've got it.

On a serious note, I once heard Hillary Clinton (but it could have been most anyone) taking about the people hardest hit by war: That would be the widows and orphans.

The actually DEAD GUYS don't even get a mention.

Well they're DEAD. The survivors have to actually, you know, continue living with some hardship.

ToxicMunkee: The survivors have to actually, you know, continue living with some hardship

Living with death (new window)

Mykeru: accelerus: but when you turn 42 and realize you don't have a damn thing to your name or a way to earn income then you are farked.

And your name is Elizabeth Wurtzel.

Good grief, I just spent 20 minutes reading your link. What a whore.

They could move to one of the loser countries where they'd have to wear a burka. Nobody will ever know they have cellulite.

I thought crazy was the curse of womankind.

Alacritous: Only because fashion magazines tell them it should be.

Yup, because these fashion magazines also force women to buy them and read them and pay attention to them.

altinos: Yup, because these fashion magazines also force women to buy them and read them and pay attention to them.

Have you ever seen a group of women huddled around a bridal magazine? one of those great big thick ones? It's like crack to them.

slepygryhnd: moothemagiccow: I'm just tired of the magazines telling the redheads they need to tan. Not everyone's into mexican girls.

Thanks! I have people say rude things about how pale I am all the time.

Seconded here! I can't tell you how many times in my life people have told me I'd look better with a tan.

Also, this little gem from the article made me giggle:

"...it's a well-known fact that French women are obsessed with their own asses."

NicoFinn:

Also, this little gem from the article made me giggle:

"...it's a well-known fact that French women are obsessed with their own asses."

When people use "it's a well-known fact" in a sentence, what follow is usually BS.

Fark_Guy_Rob: Being attractive or not is, for many women, the largest contributing factor in their quality of life. If you are an attractive woman you can pretty much float through life and have all of your needs met by various men who appreciate your attractiveness.


Well, that explains my problem.

/seriously, though, periods totally biatchslap cellulite
//raising kids can be very trying sometimes too
///and that whole marriage thing? very difficult
///\my slashies laugh at your cellulite worries!

girljen: /seriously, though, periods totally biatchslap cellulite
//raising kids can be very trying sometimes too
///and that whole marriage thing? very difficult
///\my slashies laugh at your cellulite worries!

Hah. Funny. Kids and marriage were what I immediately thought of.
Not so much the periods thing cause I get them less than 1/30. If I did, they'd be up there in the top 3 too.

Mangoose: I thought crazy was the curse of womankind.

Ehhh. Well put.

Get an actual full-time job. Think about it, ladies parasites.