The Russians just killed them, so I think the chimps owe us some money.

Last season's winners?

No.

Last season's losers.

I hear they speak perfect English and wear only Marc Jacob. Ingrates if you ask me.

Has had the left blinker on for the last 12 miles.

OOO, CHIMPANZEE THAT! MONKEY NEWS!

/Hot like chimps on reentry

Well they're living the high life, retired in Florida, of course - and still throwing wet feces with their thumbless mits

/ape, ape, ape, ape

Is Bubbles related to these chimps? And the guy to the right of the article,what a coincidence...

I owe my primate stunt-monkey forefathers a severe debt of gratitude. May they continue to set an example for the rest of us.

/I'll be happy to let NASA shoot me up to space as long as they have more comprehensive return-trip plans than the Soviets did...

It's a FAKE. We all know the NASA chimps were just guys in suits filmed in Area 51. You can tell by the shadows.
/where's my medication

Americuh - where anybody associated with the riding of a vehicle is a hero, and anybody associated with building or designing of one is a tool whose taxes should be increased to pay for the retirement of the heroes. Also, only heroes can be politicians.

Being forcibly strapped to a rocket and shot into space isn't exactly heroic. After all, if the rationale for heroism is being made to do something hideously life threatening against your will then all death row prisoners are heroes.

Scientist: People, we're in danger of losing our funding. America isn't interested in space exploration any more.

Assistant: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret: that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.

Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them _that_.
[Roller skates away, making monkey noises]

The first few comments on the article are worth reading.

I thought they came back as super geniuses. Or is that a secret?

damn.

I'm betting this chimp drowned in his own feces before his ride was over. (^)

I heard one of them ran for Condo Board President.

I'm really surprised they didn't kill them after the space programs ended. Somebody must have liked them and helped get them through the first thirty years of retirement. The story is very light on details of "the dark years". (They were kept by themselves in small concrete cages. That's it as far as I can tell--nothing about how they got through the disco era or anything.)

I read the article looking for pictures of said chimps but all I saw was a bunch of pictures of Michael Jackson. What's up with that?

zamros: Last season's winners?

No.

Last season's losers.

First thing I thought of, as well.

/I'll be back, Killian!

I believe Matthew Broderick helped them get to some Floridian island.

I_Think_Im_2D: OOO, CHIMPANZEE THAT! MONKEY NEWS!

ooo.. chimpanzee that MONKEY NEWS
FTFY

dericwater: I believe Matthew Broderick helped them get to some Floridian island.

Project X

Falsity hoax-o-rama not true lie-fest.

The poor chimps! They're animals, and while they are undoubtedly intelligent animals, they are still animals. Just so we haven't lost prospective, especially considering we're talking about a different era. The government owes them nothing, they were property, and while they weren't given the high life the article doesn't give any indication that they were willingly neglected.

Sure they went through hell on behalf of the human race, but at the time it seemed like the only reasonable way to get the kind of information and data on space travel. We knew jack shiat back then, didn't even know if we could survive being up there.

When I first moved to the Ft. Pierce area, I noticed I couldn't get Good & Plenty candy anywhere. I didn't think about it much--it really wasn't a big deal.

Then one day I was sent to that place. They were kind enough to give me a tour. And there were little black sticky things all over the ground. "Good & Plentys," my tour guide explained. "The chimps love the candy coating, but they hate the inside and spit it out."

/it's a pretty cool place

Godam boomurs, they roond everythng, makng me aktuly hv 2 wrk 4 a lving, now their livn of my tax dolers


.

Ship them back to Africa.

On the other hand, the chimp who played Cheeta in the old Tarzan movies is apparently still with us, at the age of 76:

Link (new window)

I would like to know more about Project Whoosh mentioned in the article. It seems... interesting?

No submitter, I had never wondered what happened to them, but now I know.

Thanks.

Assistant: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret: that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.

Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them that.

There ain't no Monkey Circus you dumb cajun.

FTFA:
"Ham rocketed beyond Earth's atmosphere in 1961 three months before Alan Shephard became the first human to do so..."

Yuri Gagarin's ghost wants a word with you.

I kind of want to see a vid of project whoosh. Not that i think that chimps being killed would be cool. I think watching a living thing being dropped out of a missle at supersonic speeds would be amazing to watch.

I think they mean the ones that survived are living in florida, I remember reading that in the start of the space program very little that went up came back down, and what did was usually dead.

Actually, subby, the two chimps that went into space are now dead.

My dad had some of those animals for passengers as he was flying them in for the Pre-Space program. Some of the rejects we got to have for pets.

Juc:

No thanks to Werner VonBraun!

His planned monkey orbiter had no heatsheild.

(Flying Monkeys: Bad. Frying Monkeys: Bad publicity.)

Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp, went on to work for the CIA.



Retired in 1979.

The original Cheeta from the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies of the 30s is still alive (and retired and probably complaining about his lack of royalties) too. Chimps live as long as humans.