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(CBS Sports) Dumbass "This list of baseball players on steroids from 2003 appears on only one obscure blog no one's ever heard of, and I'm certain it's 100% fake. I'll put it on CBS Sports' website anyhow"   (cbssports.com) divider line 55
More: Dumbass  

55 Comments   (+0 »)


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TeddyBallGame [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 10:17:54 AM  
So the Red Sox and the Yankees were roughly 70% of the juiced up players? I actually believe that.

 
HulkHands [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 10:21:34 AM  
This is from the site the pulled their last "leaked list" because a guy was listed on it twice?

 
Slaxl [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 10:25:16 AM  
How can a site that is a list of players 'rumoured' to have tested positive possibly lead justifiably to 'I told you so'?

 
Kitwilly [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 10:39:36 AM  
that list is bullshiat because every one of those players listed is wellknown, it is more likely the real list has more schlubs and has beens on it.

 
aquigley [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-03 10:50:03 AM  
Kitwilly: that list is bullshiat because every one of those players listed is wellknown, it is more likely the real list has more schlubs and has beens on it.

no kidding, and it's a friggin' forum post, not an article. Might as well use this Fark thread as a "source":

THE FOLLOWING ARE ON STEROIDS

My balls
My butt
Your mom
Kitwilly's face

 
Fear_and_Loathing [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 11:09:01 AM  
*snerk*

 
careerstudent 2009-07-03 11:19:52 AM  
With pretty much everyone who has read it thinking this list is crap, why the hell does it get picked up by a new site seemingly daily? Are sports bloggers this stupid?

 
rickythepenguin [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 11:59:52 AM  
i know the players only agreed to the 2003 testing on the express condition that it was anonymous, but I hope the list gets released. It is best for baseball. I'm not looking to go all Bob Costas, "the sweet mystery of the sunlight hitting the diamond on a sweltering day in July, fathers and sons tossing a ball in the great American tradition", all that hokey, treacly shiat, but....come on. it is best for baseball if we know who was doing it.

and besides that, the MLBPA were the ones that maintained the list. They grew a brain (under recently deposed Don Fehr's watch) and decided to see if they could get enough false positives on "The List" to get under the 5% limit (if less than 5% were positive, the agreement was there would be no testing ever.) 6 years later, names got leaked. That list should have been destroyed a long time ago.

so fark those fools.

"b-b-b-b--b-b-but steroids were legal at the time!" bullshiat.

From the Mitchell Report:

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum. Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.

1) they were added in 1991
2) they were then and remain now controlled substances under federal law
3) the MLBPA and owners resisted any testing until Congress said, "you farkers test or we'll revoke your antitrust exemption".


biggest lie in sports. "steroids were legal in 2003!"

 
SharkTrager 2009-07-03 01:21:48 PM  
careerstudent: With pretty much everyone who has read it thinking this list is crap, why the hell does it get picked up by a new site seemingly daily? Are sports bloggers this stupid?

People who create forum threads on Sportsline, which has virtually no moderating, do not qualify as "sports bloggers".

 
ZoSo_the_Crowe 2009-07-03 01:22:29 PM  
Subby: cbssports.com MESSAGE BOARD != CBS Sports website.

 
Rascuache 2009-07-03 01:23:18 PM  
Corey Patterson?!

 
HaywoodJablonski [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 01:34:34 PM  
List is bullshiat without Stevie Ray Vaughn

 
Chastain86 2009-07-03 01:38:05 PM  
aquigley: Kitwilly: that list is bullshiat because every one of those players listed is wellknown, it is more likely the real list has more schlubs and has beens on it.

no kidding, and it's a friggin' forum post, not an article. Might as well use this Fark thread as a "source":

THE FOLLOWING ARE ON STEROIDS

My balls
My butt
Your mom
Kitwilly's face


Listen, Kitwilly's face is not here to talk about the past.

 
nyihockey 2009-07-03 01:39:46 PM  
I saw this list earlier in the week, and it just screams bullshiat. The fact that it is all big name guys is the biggest tip-off. Everyone on a 40-man roster was tested, but somehow no minor leaguers tested positive? Also the fact that the people who posted this list gave no source, not even an "unnamed source." They just threw it out there and claimed it was rumoured on the internet, even though it was only on their site (at the time). There are a lot more tip-offs if you care to look harder too

 
mitchcumpstein 2009-07-03 01:53:28 PM  
Talk about 'not news.'

 
bgddy24601 2009-07-03 02:07:14 PM  
elementalism.org

My God...it's full of stars...

/didn't want no scrubs, anyway...
//Seconding the "Corey Patterson"
///Officially awarding 1 intarweb to Heywood for the SRV

 
WTFdoesitmatter 2009-07-03 02:07:58 PM  
And all the Red Sox players happen to be at the top? Yeah, just some retard with an axe to grind.

 
Burping Bacon Bits 2009-07-03 02:21:01 PM  
ZoSo_the_Crowe: Subby: cbssports.com MESSAGE BOARD != CBS Sports website.

It really doesn't matter. The original material came from rotoinfo.com.

 
AtticusFinchEsq [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:23:05 PM  
All my Trot Nixon paraphernalia is about to become lawn mulch.

 
Funbags 2009-07-03 02:29:57 PM  
I bet Aaron Boone is honored to be the only one who's hotlinked.

 
WinoRhino 2009-07-03 02:30:28 PM  
AtticusFinchEsq: All my Trot Nixon paraphernalia is about to become lawn mulch.

Give me a break. How fair-weather are you that you let your opinion swing on an unconfirmed web forum post?

/Sox Fan
//Dons old unwashed (Nixon-style) hat

 
Killer Cars [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:30:35 PM  
27.Brent Abernathy

I'm not sure he can hit a ball beyond the infield in f*cking tee-ball.

I remember watching him a little when played a couple seasons on ye olde Devil Rays. I just looked at his career MLB stats and I'm almost positive his "8" career home runs is a misprint.

I was waiting to see Jason Tyner on that list after seeing his name.

/that said, that's the kind of "scrub" name that would give the slightest amount of validity to any of these lists

 
Killer Cars [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:36:09 PM  
WTFdoesitmatter: And all the Red Sox players happen to be at the top? Yeah, just some retard with an axe to grind.

Whomever came up with this at least went through the trouble of going in an order of AL EAST-CENTRAL-WEST; NL EAST-CENTRAL-WEST, apparently in alphabetical order by city (hence Boston showing first)

 
galumph200 2009-07-03 02:42:37 PM  
Killer Cars: WTFdoesitmatter: And all the Red Sox players happen to be at the top? Yeah, just some retard with an axe to grind.

Whomever came up with this at least went through the trouble of going in an order of AL EAST-CENTRAL-WEST; NL EAST-CENTRAL-WEST, apparently in alphabetical order by city (hence Boston showing first)


Baltimore comes before Boston alphabetically, but the Baltimore names come after Boston on this list.

 
Killer Cars [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:44:32 PM  
galumph200: Baltimore comes before Boston alphabetically, but the Baltimore names come after Boston on this list.

Farkin hell, there goes my thesis.

I was thinking "Orioles" instead of Baltimore.

 
Hiymenator [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:46:55 PM  
They forgot about Poland.

 
Lost Thought 00 2009-07-03 02:50:49 PM  
It's fake, but that doesn't mean it's inaccurate. I believe most every name on that list was juicing.

 
adamgreeney 2009-07-03 03:04:36 PM  
rickythepenguin: i know the players only agreed to the 2003 testing on the express condition that it was anonymous, but I hope the list gets released. It is best for baseball. I'm not looking to go all Bob Costas, "the sweet mystery of the sunlight hitting the diamond on a sweltering day in July, fathers and sons tossing a ball in the great American tradition", all that hokey, treacly shiat, but....come on. it is best for baseball if we know who was doing it.

and besides that, the MLBPA were the ones that maintained the list. They grew a brain (under recently deposed Don Fehr's watch) and decided to see if they could get enough false positives on "The List" to get under the 5% limit (if less than 5% were positive, the agreement was there would be no testing ever.) 6 years later, names got leaked. That list should have been destroyed a long time ago.

so fark those fools.

"b-b-b-b--b-b-but steroids were legal at the time!" bullshiat.

From the Mitchell Report:

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum. Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.

1) they were added in 1991
2) they were then and remain now controlled substances under federal law
3) the MLBPA and owners resisted any testing until Congress said, "you farkers test or we'll revoke your antitrust exemption".


biggest lie in sports. "steroids were legal in 2003!"


Get the list of substances from 91. Then compare what the player where using. Things like HGH were legal at the time of this test.

Baseball has a habit of being late to the party and banning drugs AFTER they've had a major impact. No different here.

 
Igotnothing2 2009-07-03 03:23:09 PM  
83.Richie Sexson
84.Geoff Jenkins

Shenanigans

 
Necrocide 2009-07-03 03:48:07 PM  
Kitwilly: that list is bullshiat because every one of those players listed is wellknown, it is more likely the real list has more schlubs and has beens on it.

This this this.

 
DeWayne Mann 2009-07-03 03:48:10 PM  
I like how, in the Mitchell Report, Adam Piatt admitted to using steroids in 2002 & 2003, yet wasn't on this list. So not only did someone just make up this list off the top of their head, they didn't even use the Mitchell Report to make it more legit.

 
AtticusFinchEsq [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 04:22:52 PM  
WinoRhino: Give me a break. How fair-weather are you that you let your opinion swing on an unconfirmed web forum post?

I'll be sure to tag my sarcastic posts as such in the future.

 
thegod082 2009-07-03 04:26:20 PM  
HaywoodJablonski: List is bullshiat without Stevie Ray Vaughn

i479.photobucket.com

I don't doubt it.

 
mister cornwallis 2009-07-03 04:44:22 PM  
For a second I was worried I made-up a list and posted it on mine while asleep.

 
Harry Mastodon 2009-07-03 04:47:32 PM  
Matt Clement?

He was 85 pounds in 2003, 75 if you remove the beard/gotee thingy. this list is so far beyond ridiculous.

/most are probably correct though

 
Henry Holland 2009-07-03 04:51:35 PM  
bgddy24601: My God...it's full of stars...

My God...that's full of win...

From the list:

47.Scott Spiezio
48.Troy Glaus
49.Francisco Rodriguez

Let's go Angels, let's go [clap clap] Let's go Angels, let's go [clap clap]

I suppose Giants fans will want a * attached to the Angels 2002 title, but luckily, they don't have any moral high ground to stand on.

/Dave, what are you doing Dave?

 
Lloyd Braun 2009-07-03 05:15:01 PM  
Jose Lima's on the list. Where's the pic? Somebody better post it. You know which one I'm talking about.

 
Tony_Danza 2009-07-03 05:19:26 PM  
I know the list is bullshiat because Kenny Rogers is on it. Um, excuse me, Kenny Rogers is a country singer. Trot Nixon? Seriously, no one would ever call their kid Trot. And Milton Bradley? They're not even trying. I call BS.

 
Broadcastdave [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 05:20:38 PM  
As a Rockies fan

I don't believe Helton was juicing, but it wouldn't surprise me at all to see Bichettes name on the list.

 
greenapple2step 2009-07-03 05:20:41 PM  
How can you be sure that the list is fake.
It is not like everything on the net is fake.
You have to take it with a grain of salt. And from what I have read the list sorta makes sence.

 
Dafatone 2009-07-03 05:20:49 PM  
Someone's on the juice? Ban him from baseball!

Corked bat? Whatever, 10 day suspension.

Amphetamines in the 70's? Part of the game!

Doctoring the ball? Gamesmanship!

Spitball? Harkening back to an older, better day. There's a HOFer who is loved FOR throwing spitballs.

I'm certainly not pro-roids or anything, but I don't get why other forms of cheating are so cool.

 
mjoven1975 [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 05:42:26 PM  
Igotnothing2: 83.Richie Sexson
84.Geoff Jenkins

Shenanigans


While I think this list is fake, I wouldn't be surprised in the least to find out that Sexson juiced. His bat speed completely disappeared at a relatively young age. Do you have idea why that might be?

 
squidloe 2009-07-03 06:12:18 PM  
SharkTrager: careerstudent: With pretty much everyone who has read it thinking this list is crap, why the hell does it get picked up by a new site seemingly daily? Are sports bloggers this stupid?

People who create forum threads on Sportsline, which has virtually no moderating, do not qualify as "sports bloggers".


Sure they do. Who moderates "bloggers"? No one, except for other people on the net calling bullshiat. Bloggers = some unmoderated guy on the Internet.

 
madden101 2009-07-03 06:18:08 PM  
Incidentally, no Albert Pujols. He seems to be the one guy all the haters are like "He's soooooo juiced."

 
Foaming [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 06:46:27 PM  
I have to say I'm devastated. I've been rooting for Kitwilly's face for years. To find it on such a list saddens me greatly.

 
Hoopy Frood 2009-07-03 08:15:49 PM  
rickythepenguin: From the Mitchell Report:

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum. Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.

1) they were added in 1991
2) they were then and remain now controlled substances under federal law
3) the MLBPA and owners resisted any testing until Congress said, "you farkers test or we'll revoke your antitrust exemption".


biggest lie in sports. "steroids were legal in 2003!"


Not all steroids are anabolic, there will always be a steady stream of new performance-enhancing drugs that haven't been banned yet, and many players' native countries have different drug laws.

Next?

 
DoblerMeyer [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 08:29:43 PM  
Lloyd Braun: Jose Lima's on the list. Where's the pic? Somebody better post it. You know which one I'm talking about.

I'll take any excuse to post it.
i513.photobucket.com


I do think this one is better though.
i513.photobucket.com

 
beantowndog [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 08:41:56 PM  
rickythepenguin: 3) the MLBPA and owners resisted any testing until Congress said, "you farkers test or we'll revoke your antitrust exemption".

The supreme court said baseball is not interstate commerce and therefore the Sherman Act does not apply. Congress had nothing to do with the exemption. I do realize this was not the point you were trying to make.

Link (new window)

 
Fano 2009-07-03 09:35:54 PM  
I'm still waiting patiently for the MANDATORY steroid league.

 
steamingpile 2009-07-03 11:02:02 PM  
rickythepenguin: 1) they were added in 1991
2) they were then and remain now controlled substances under federal law
3) the MLBPA and owners resisted any testing until Congress said, "you farkers test or we'll revoke your antitrust exemption".


biggest lie in sports. "steroids were legal in 2003!"


Yeah thats the statement people make when they know they are full of shiat, its the first tip off and lets me know that this person has zero knowledge of the subject they are arguing so I just start farking with that person.



nyihockey: I saw this list earlier in the week, and it just screams bullshiat. The fact that it is all big name guys is the biggest tip-off. Everyone on a 40-man roster was tested, but somehow no minor leaguers tested positive?

Minor leagues are tested more thoroughly when they are down there, since owners were able to push testing for them, the MLB players fought it and they backed off to an extent until congress made them test. Although its not really made them, basically congress sat on their hands until the public forced them to address the issue, then just like every other thing congress does, they over reacted and made it a big thing.

I think most of the major leaguers got caught after testing started because they went down to the minors and tested positive while down there. That may be the only reason big names(at the time) tested positive on this list.

Most on that list I agree with but until I see a credible test for ortiz then I dont believe he was ever on anything, all the others are borderline with a few being glaring examples of juicers. The boones come to mind, aaron was an average hitter and virtually no hr power then all of a sudden he was cranking out tape-measure shots? Please, thats like the year brady hit 50, dont make it that obvious morons.

 
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