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(Some Art Critic) Dumbass No matter how you try to justify it as art, the police aren't going to be too impressed when your canvas is a $1600 plasma tv at Sears and your subject is your penis   (wcpo.com) divider line 48
More: Dumbass  

48 Comments   (+0 »)


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Epsilon [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 12:53:15 PM  
Even better than that, I used to work at an electronics store back in the '90s. One day this guy comes in with a video camera he recently purchased and insisted it was defective because it wouldn't play back on his TV.

So one of the salesmen says, "Hmm, let's check it out." He walked over and plugged the camera into the front jacks on a big screen TV in the middle of the store, hit play on the camera, and on the screen comes this massive close-up of his wife's vajayjay, spread open about as far as you could spread it, and hair like an Amazon jungle.

He said thanks and left quickly with his camera.

 
Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 01:15:09 PM  
20 years old is a little past the "Drawing dicks on things" acceptable age range..


//which really stops at like..14..

 
MikeFallopian 2009-07-03 01:16:03 PM  
Brian: I'm working Tim, working. Do you understand?
Tim: No, sorry. Got me there.
Brian: Trying... to...avoid...clichés by not actually placing my brush on the canvas.
Tim: Wow. Right.
Brian: I'm using my penis.
Tim: Finally

 
cardex 2009-07-03 01:16:05 PM  
Somaticasual: //which really stops at like..14..

fixed that for you

 
gravyhand 2009-07-03 01:16:14 PM  
"Wait, penis doesn't go on plasma screen? It goes WHERE?"

 
mlitt1124 2009-07-03 01:16:27 PM  
Penis

 
SharkTrager 2009-07-03 01:18:10 PM  
Maybe not if the subject is YOUR penis subby.

 
Derexan 2009-07-03 01:18:17 PM  
It's good to see Tom Green being a productive member of society these days

 
Alleyoop 2009-07-03 01:18:52 PM  
docs.google.com

 
fifthhorseman 2009-07-03 01:19:56 PM  
Wait. I saw this movie.

 
br0g 2009-07-03 01:20:57 PM  
cardex: Somaticasual: //which really stops at like..14NEVAR!!!1..

fixed that for you


fixed that for you

I gotta say, i RTA, and i LOL'd. However, it would have been way better if he had plugged a camera into the TV with a picture of a dick, instead of using a permanent marker. BUT, the mugshot sold it.

/heh

 
VoiceofGod 2009-07-03 01:21:20 PM  
filmonic.com

/approves

 
Lehk 2009-07-03 01:25:30 PM  
Police responded to the store in the 9000 block of Colerain Avenue

What 9000!

 
headcrack 2009-07-03 01:27:47 PM  
Epsilon: Even better than that, I used to work at an electronics store back in the '90s. One day this guy comes in with a video camera he recently purchased and insisted it was defective because it wouldn't play back on his TV.

So one of the salesmen says, "Hmm, let's check it out." He walked over and plugged the camera into the front jacks on a big screen TV in the middle of the store, hit play on the camera, and on the screen comes this massive close-up of his wife's vajayjay, spread open about as far as you could spread it, and hair like an Amazon jungle.

He said thanks and left quickly with his camera.


Had something similar happen. Guy exchanged a camcorder and left a really bizarre homemade porn tape inside.

/This is how I learned that any time a sex tape starts w/ a girl tied to a bed and the guy wearing a black hood and playing a ukulele, you know you're in for a treat.

 
Ima4nic8or 2009-07-03 01:28:28 PM  
While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

 
Lamune_Baba 2009-07-03 01:30:38 PM  
Lehk: Police responded to the store in the 9000 block of Colerain Avenue

What 9000!


We have over 9000 penises.

 
VoiceofGod 2009-07-03 01:33:08 PM  
Lamune_Baba: Lehk: Police responded to the store in the 9000 block of Colerain Avenue

What 9000!

We have over 9000 penises.


Please don't.

 
mudpants 2009-07-03 01:34:21 PM  
Why did I know this was an img9.imageshack.us story ?

 
Beatle_Matt [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 01:36:47 PM  
Alleyoop - hilarious....

...but I wonder if the mods will let that through.

 
uncletogie [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-03 01:36:53 PM  
Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

ProTip: You don't even need most of those chemicals if you're quick about it. The secret? Dry-erase markers. Draw a face on a non-porous object with a Sharpie. Take the dry-erase marker, and scribble over the face as if the DE marker was an eraser. Wipe off the results. Presto!


 
Lamune_Baba 2009-07-03 01:38:17 PM  
Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

You'd still be very likely to end up with a haze on the screen. Most of the chemicals that will eat a Sharpie mark also do bad things to the anti-glare coatings and plastics.

Even thought it is a display model, they're going to have to pull another new one out of the box to replace it, so I could even see them arguing full-price. (Instead of the reduced price of a floor model.)

He should be treated like any other vandal or piece of shiat tagger- remove his balls. Castration tends to reduce or eliminate the animal's instinct to mark his territory.

 
the_sidewinder [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 01:38:33 PM  
uncletogie: Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

ProTip: You don't even need most of those chemicals if you're quick about it. The secret? Dry-erase markers. Draw a face on a non-porous object with a Sharpie. Take the dry-erase marker, and scribble over the face as if the DE marker was an eraser. Wipe off the results. Presto!


Protip: Hand Sanitizer. Someone around has some, and the high alcohol content takes permanent markers right off

 
FREDIOHEAD 2009-07-03 01:44:06 PM  
mudpants: Why did I know this was an story ?


You didn't know this was an Ohio story.

 
Nocens 2009-07-03 01:45:44 PM  
Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.


Oh, awesome idea. Spray some fluid on the penis and apply significant rubbing. I'm sure that will work.

 
Bakudai 2009-07-03 01:46:00 PM  
I think we need a picture of the art to judge for ourselves.

 
hej 2009-07-03 01:46:37 PM  
Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

So you're saying significant rubbing would have taken care of this guys giant penis?

 
Tony Baloney 2009-07-03 01:48:43 PM  
Nocens: Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.


Oh, awesome idea. Spray some fluid on the penis and apply significant rubbing. I'm sure that will work.


I'm no expert, but wouldn't that just make the problem bigger?

 
pope183 2009-07-03 01:49:44 PM  
what a penis may look like
64bitheadlines.files.wordpress.com

 
fatkidinabeenie 2009-07-03 01:52:47 PM  
Lamune_Baba: Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

You'd still be very likely to end up with a haze on the screen. Most of the chemicals that will eat a Sharpie mark also do bad things to the anti-glare coatings and plastics.

Even thought it is a display model, they're going to have to pull another new one out of the box to replace it, so I could even see them arguing full-price. (Instead of the reduced price of a floor model.)

He should be treated like any other vandal or piece of shiat tagger- remove his balls. Castration tends to reduce or eliminate the animal's instinct to mark his territory.


Plasma's have a glass screen LCD's have the plastic, I'd agree it would be ruined if it was an LCD or Projection(DLP) the Dry-Erase or Rubbing alachol would have cleaned it right up, I wonder how much they are selling the "bad plasma" for...

 
Pope George Ringo [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 01:53:52 PM  
img18.imageshack.us

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-07-03 01:56:07 PM  
img41.imageshack.us
The perfect expression for "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"

 
Adjective Bird Whiskey [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:08:38 PM  
There's gotta be a step two in here somewhere.

 
headstone 2009-07-03 02:23:34 PM  
.
.
.
What a dick...
.
.
.

 
Lamune_Baba 2009-07-03 02:28:01 PM  
fatkidinabeenie:

Plasma's have a glass screen LCD's have the plastic, I'd agree it would be ruined if it was an LCD or Projection(DLP) the Dry-Erase or Rubbing alachol would have cleaned it right up...


You're not taking that shiat off after it has dried with alcohol without working at it.

If glass is coated with an anti-glare or anti-scratch surface, which a number of the plasma screens advertise now, you stand a good chance of hazing the finish.


I wonder how much they are selling the "bad plasma" for...

Probably nothing. It's going to get claimed as a loss then written off. Which means tearing a S/N plate off the back to send to the manufacturer, then loading it into a manager's truck for "disposal."

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 02:52:57 PM  
They'll stop laughing when the artist gets a Hirshorn retrospective.

 
Jeepman1974 2009-07-03 03:03:01 PM  
Somaticasual: 20 years old is a little past the "Drawing dicks on things" acceptable age range..


//which really stops at like..14..


You haven't been to many college parties have you?

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 03:25:36 PM  
APPROVES!
img198.imageshack.us


Hot, like Amy..even if she does want to blow every guy in town...

/But HEY, That's love!

 
RaisedOnATARI 2009-07-03 04:04:48 PM  
Found some of his other artwork
4.bp.blogspot.com

 
BikerRay 2009-07-03 04:16:31 PM  
Ima4nic8or: While the guy is a douchebag and certainly should be banned from the store and changed with something I am not sure that I buy the claim that the tv was permanently damaged. Even supposed permanent ink cleans up with the right chemicals and/or some significant rubbing.

Eggzackly. A plasma TV has a plain glass screen and is easy to clean; LCDs have matte plastic.

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-07-03 04:19:52 PM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: The perfect expression for "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"

David Schwimmer?

 
eraser8 2009-07-03 04:47:43 PM  
FTFA: A motive is not yet known.

Do you really need one?

 
Alleyoop 2009-07-03 04:49:22 PM  
Beatle_Matt: - hilarious...but I wonder if the mods will let that through.

It's out of focus enough. But I apologize if Ahmadinejad's face getting in the way offends anyone.

 
SpiderQueenDemon 2009-07-03 06:37:08 PM  
uncletogie: ProTip: You don't even need most of those chemicals if you're quick about it. The secret? Dry-erase markers. Draw a face on a non-porous object with a Sharpie. Take the dry-erase marker, and scribble over the face as if the DE marker was an eraser. Wipe off the results. Presto!

This is true. I actually work in an electronics department and we did precisely this when a small child attempted to give Lightning McQueen a moustache. Only works on plasma, though, LCD is completely screwed by Sharpies.

/the parents bought the TV anyway, to be nice and 'cause it was one they liked
//informed the child that it would be one month before he'd be watching it
///we gave them a discount because we rarely see parents punish their kids for acting up in our store

 
jigger 2009-07-03 07:08:10 PM  
plasma >>>>> lcd

 
CoysOdie 2009-07-03 11:40:53 PM  
Approves

jcrue.files.wordpress.com

 
SgtArkie 2009-07-04 12:04:46 AM  

allow me to kellistrate

img355.imageshack.us


 
Darth Nastyperson 2009-07-04 02:50:19 AM  
www.theage.com.au

Approves

/obscure outside Oz?

 
VibroCount 2009-07-06 12:32:30 AM  
The lost episode of Winky Dink and You!

 
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