Deepak Chopra's head asplodes.

I really do think positive thoughts.

I'm positive that things will get worse.

It's sort of an emotional entropy kind of thing ;)


<sub>Actually, I'm kidding. I'm one of the most realistically optimistic people you'll ever meet.

Just think for a moment about the term "realistically optimistic" and either your head will explode or you will understand me completely.</sub>

SpinStopper: either your head will explode or you will understand me completely.

Realism and optimism. If only there was a term for that ...

Last One Left: SpinStopper: either your head will explode or you will understand me completely.

Realism and optimism. If only there was a term for that ...

Drunk?

I will have to think about that later.

That's all well and good, but it'd be nice if my wife had something to say to my every move besides YOU'RE GOING TO CREATE AN UNPARALLELED DISASTER YOU DODDERING FOOL!

.

The jesus freak ad on the right in Fark is FREAAAAAAAAKING ME OUT , MAN

I just know that something good is gonna happen.

/Do emo guys think positive thoughts? Not that I ever noticed.

You can spend your time thinking about being positive about your problems or you could solve your problems or furiously masturbate habitually. Choose two.

The old rule of thumb: If you want to feel good in the workplace, hire an optimist.

If you want to make sure things get done, hire a pessimist.

Because....

If you're farking depressed and someone non-depressed tells you to say, "I am a loveable person," then two thoughts immediately enter your head after saying it:

No, I'm not.

or...

This person is lying.


That's how depression works.

SpinStopper:

Drunk?

The pow-pow-pow-pow-power of positive drinking (powps)

/A ReedRoll

St_Francis_P: I just know that something good is gonna happen . . . . but not to me.

FTFM.

What of the positive aspects of negative thinking?

Tr0mBoNe
Choose two.

Heck, I only need one.

I'd rather be a pessimist. That way if anything good ever happens, it's a pleasant surprise.

SpinStopper:

The upbeat pessimist thinks he's going to be killed (to death!) at any moment but is sure it will be quick.

Oh my. That would explain why Dr. Carl Simonton just died.

Link

He's the guy who pioneered the mind-body connection to fight cancer.

All of that positive thinking killed him at the age of 66.

Tencolin:

What of the positive aspects of negative thinking?

You fall into far fewer traps.

dead_dangler: I'd rather be a pessimist. That way if anything good ever happens, it's a pleasant surprise.

Unfortunately, that is quite literally the philosophy that was instilled in me from birth. It's a farking disaster.

As with one of my former bosses; he was always positively wrong.

SherKhan: You fall into far fewer traps.

This.
You see, when you think positively, you're more likely to just say "she looks like a hot chick so she must be hooray!", instead of the true but negative view that "she", indeed, has a penis.

Pessimists can only be pleasantly surprised.

The trick is to set your sights on the most probably positive outcome but to expect and plan for the possibility of the worst possible outcome. Rigorous practice of this mindset minimizes unintended consequences.

Politicians of all parties need to learn this.

Old news...

Stuart Smalley: I want you to look in that mirror, and I want you to repeat after me: "I am a worthy human being."

Mea C.: [barely audible] I am a worthy human being.

Stuart Smalley: Okay, I really couldn't hear you. Try again.

Mea C.: I am a worthy human being?

Stuart Smalley: No, Mia, it's not a question. Try it again.

Mea C.: I am... I'm sorry, what is the second part?

Stuart Smalley: Worthy human being. I am a worthy human being. Just say it.

Mea C.: I'm sorry, am I saying it to you, or to myself?
Stuart Smalley: Just say it. I am a worthy human being.

Mea C.: I am a worthy human being.

Stuart Smalley: Okay, louder.

Mea C.: I am a worthy human being.

Stuart Smalley: Mean it.

Mea C.: I am a worthy human being.

Stuart Smalley: Believe it.

Mea C.: I HATE YOU, MOM.

Mea C.: Sorry.

m2313:

Mightn't the true optimist think hey, maybe I'll enjoy the penis?

Poor guy, cries quietly into piles of money each night.

SherKhan: m2313:

Mightn't the true optimist think hey, maybe I'll enjoy the penis?

Well there you have it then, optimists are just asking to get farked in the ass.

Dr Dantzig disagrees. pops

odisae: Dr Dantzig disagrees. pops

Wouldn't the "oh fark I'm late I need to solve this shiat now" mindset be negative thinking?

Optimism is bullshiat. Being honest with yourself and insisting that others be honest with you is ultimately better for you than all this positive positivity crap. The reason, in my opinion: Getting your hopes up about something only to fail when there was never a chance of succeeding makes you feel much worse than being told from the start that there was never a chance.

Telling yourself you're a good person and can do anything won't work if you know deep down that it's not true.

I'm positively certain I'm all farked up.

Who would have thought that self-esteem and success were more difficult to achieve than chanting "I'm awesome" 500 times a day. The only real success stories connected with positive thinking are about people who made a ton of money selling people stuff about positive thinking. Upbeat, energetic people are not only going to have a better chance of accomplishing things, they also just naturally feel good about themselves.

ph0rk: odisae: Dr Dantzig disagrees. pops

Wouldn't the "oh fark I'm late I need to solve this shiat now" mindset be negative thinking?

You sound like a pessimist.

Psychologists aren't nearly as perceptive as they think. It's what happens when your entire field is centered on dissecting something as fluid as human nature and trying place it into neatly packaged categories.

"So, if they're saying 'I'm a lovable person,' they might be thinking, 'Well, I'm not always lovable' or 'I'm not lovable in this way,' and these contradictory thoughts may overwhelm the positive thoughts," she said.

Or maybe they're thinking: "What an incredibly useless practice this is."

HIV Positive.

It's all about balance. Change your mind if you can't change your reality, but change itself is difficult. If the people in the study were simply saying a phrase with no belief in it, naturally they would feel worse, because they believed they were telling lies. If they believed the affirmations, or if the affirmations were less generic - instead of saying "I am successful" they said "right now, I will do my best", they may have had a different result.

/everything in moderation, including moderation, and all that jazz
//there is no try

I subscribe to Murphy's Law.


/Murphy lives at my house.
//He often visits others.
/But, he lives at my house.

Studies find that Studies can find anything.

cowgirl toffee: Oh my. That would explain why Dr. Carl Simonton just died.

Link

He's the guy who pioneered the mind-body connection to fight cancer.

All of that positive thinking killed him at the age of 66.

Be nice! He choked on a samich. I blame Mama Cass.

Froman: The reason, in my opinion: Getting your hopes up about something only to fail when there was never a chance of succeeding makes you feel much worse than being told from the start that there was never a chance.

You sound bitter. :-)

Considering how many people love to see others fail, to drag them down, to mock them, would you take others' opinions of a situation as more worthy than your own? If you don't take a chance, then what's the point? Even if you fail, and fail spectacularly, if you were wise you'd learn from it, and if you're stupid you know to take other's counsel from time to time.

Look at it this way: you're in a job. It's comfortable, not the best pay or benefits for your qualifications, and the people you work for are not the greatest. But it's stable, you have seniority, and there is distant potential to work your way up. Do you look for another job? Do you start your own business? Do you stay put for the next 20 years hoping for the best?

What you said is true though: if you believe it's bull, then you will follow your belief. It's hard to break habits, and thinking "this sucks, the alternative is worse" is a bad habit.

"Cause hey, maybe that 99th girl likes to f*** on a pile of trash"

/ hot like sex on a pile of trash

Because People in power are Stupid: "So, if they're saying 'I'm a lovable person,' they might be thinking, 'Well, I'm not always lovable' or 'I'm not lovable in this way,' and these contradictory thoughts may overwhelm the positive thoughts," she said.

Or maybe they're thinking: "What an incredibly useless practice this is."

I agree. I have gone to a clinic for migraines and had them teach me "pain management" including some positive thinking. I thought, "This is stupid and they must think I am an idiot." After that I thought that I wanted a freaking pain killer and for them to turn the damned lights off and shut up. Maybe they thought I just wanted attention or that it was "stress". Anyway, there may not always be meds that work, but I'd rather have meds than sunshine up my bottom.

/realistic
//snark can be healing though

Pmoon: cowgirl toffee: Oh my. That would explain why Dr. Carl Simonton just died.

Link

He's the guy who pioneered the mind-body connection to fight cancer.

All of that positive thinking killed him at the age of 66.

Be nice! He choked on a samich. I blame Mama Cass.

How do we know that he wasn't positively thinking of the sandwich when he was chocking?
;)

This is a ridiculous concept.

Just think positively and your life will change!

Forget fixing the actual problems you are having.

I see this BS every day here in FL. Life Coaches should hang.

Tencolin: What of the positive aspects of negative thinking?

Here you go (new window).

Duck_of_Doom: Froman: The reason, in my opinion: Getting your hopes up about something only to fail when there was never a chance of succeeding makes you feel much worse than being told from the start that there was never a chance.

You sound bitter. :-)

Considering how many people love to see others fail, to drag them down, to mock them, would you take others' opinions of a situation as more worthy than your own? If you don't take a chance, then what's the point? Even if you fail, and fail spectacularly, if you were wise you'd learn from it, and if you're stupid you know to take other's counsel from time to time.

Look at it this way: you're in a job. It's comfortable, not the best pay or benefits for your qualifications, and the people you work for are not the greatest. But it's stable, you have seniority, and there is distant potential to work your way up. Do you look for another job? Do you start your own business? Do you stay put for the next 20 years hoping for the best?

What you said is true though: if you believe it's bull, then you will follow your belief. It's hard to break habits, and thinking "this sucks, the alternative is worse" is a bad habit.

It depends on what your chances are. Fighting for years for something that's a lost cause, especially when everyone around you knows it's a lost cause but encouraged you anyway because they were too timid to be honest with you is definitely a waste. Unless you're so obvious as a failure in life, your friends and family can have a glossed over opinion of you, and not be capable of being truthful. Being truthful with yourself might help keep things in balance.

"Thinking" will get you absolutely nowhere in life.
"Acting" will get you somewhere, but it may not be where you want to be
Now combine "Thinking" with "Acting", and you might just make something of yourself.

Farkers, I've known this for decades. Yeah, I'm emo, so farking what, served me well as a musician with songwriting. I am very harsh on myself in every aspect of my life and even harsher upon the humans I unfortunately have to deal with every day.

I've tried this positive thinking crap before. I've told myself, "You're going to succeed, you're smart and talented, everyone likes you man, go for it!"

You know what happens? I get crap flung in my face by the slimebags and scumwads who make up a vast majority of the vacant-eyed dimwits who have no other joy in life than to make me ( and others ) as miserable as possible to inflate their egos. So I threw that "philosophy" right out the freaking door on its ass. Now I expect the worse, I know I am going to fail, I know nothing will go right, everything sucks and no one likes me.

Guess what? I am ALWAYS pleasantly surprised that I am proven wrong. I think I can't game worth a damn and suck? Oops, how the heck did I just kill all those players. I think i can't play a certain tune? Holy crap I not only can play it I nail it. So to all of you self-help jackasses, what works for you doesn't work for me.

/ no stfu and get off my lawn zipperheads

CrazyCurt: I've tried this positive thinking crap before. I've told myself, "You're going to succeed, you're smart and talented, everyone likes you man, go for it!"

Yeah, this won't work if you're dumb, useless, and hated by all.