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(Yahoo) Strange "I love how it's not mushy like Play-Doh; it has an unyielding consistency and a good wide girth"   (shine.yahoo.com) divider line 79
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13036 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2009 at 10:10 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

79 Comments   (+0 »)


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Kyosuke [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:40:47 PM  
They didn't test Hebrew National???

Fail.

 
House of Tards [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:25:16 PM  
That's what she said.

 
iamrex [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:38:28 PM  
FTFA: We believe in the power of a good weenie.

Me too. This article made me all hot and bothered.

 
RaceDTruck [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:52:09 PM  
As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

/Ketchup is for fries
//Vienna all beef FTW

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 09:35:49 PM  
RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

/Ketchup is for fries
//Vienna all beef FTW


Cheese.
Chili.
Bacon.
Maybe jalapenos.

Nothing else.

/ketchup and mustard are vile

 
Eyebleach [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 09:36:33 PM  
RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

Hell... that's nothing. My father-in-law keeps ribeye on order bi-monthly that's aged 25 days and will not cook it on anything other than a Green Egg with lump charcoal... and then refuses to eat it if there isn't any ketchup in the fridge to put on it.

I shiat you not.

 
ZekeMacNeil [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:12:00 PM  
Based on the headline, I thought this was going to be a poop thread...

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-07-02 10:13:51 PM  
Yummm...
Now I'm craving

 
fanbladesaresharp 2009-07-02 10:14:23 PM  
RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

/Ketchup is for fries
//Vienna all beef FTW


I'll put catsup on whatever I goddam please. And you're talking about tomato catsup, not the others that are out there.

 
Five Minute Standup 2009-07-02 10:15:27 PM  
No, just lips and anuses.

/ani?

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 10:15:32 PM  
Eyebleach: Hell... that's nothing. My father-in-law keeps ribeye on order bi-monthly that's aged 25 days and will not cook it on anything other than a Green Egg with lump charcoal... and then refuses to eat it if there isn't any ketchup in the fridge to put on it.

That's farking awesome. It takes balls, dedication, and a certain amount of bloody-mindedness to do that.

 
amazing_live_seamonkeys [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:16:28 PM  
I like Jew wienies.

 
Fluffball 2009-07-02 10:16:39 PM  
Kirkland Beef Dinner franks for me, the ones from Costco. I just toss them under the broiler then put them in a warmed bun/hoagie roll along with some mustard, onions and cheese.

So good.

 
Oznog 2009-07-02 10:16:56 PM  
www.moonbattery.com

Frank N. Furter?

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 10:17:07 PM  
RaceDTruck: /Ketchup is for fries

Agreed. Mustard (yellow or brown, they both have their place), sauerkraut, maybe some cheese, a good tangy relish. No ketchup on red hots.

 
nrdgrl [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:18:03 PM  
House of Tards: That's what she said.

came in here to say the same thing.

/good on ya!

 
mcmnky 2009-07-02 10:18:11 PM  
Kyosuke: They didn't test Hebrew National???

Fail.


They answer to a higher authority.

 
tortilla burger 2009-07-02 10:18:47 PM  
House of Tards: That's what she said.

Glad to see this has been covered.

 
shawn82 2009-07-02 10:20:16 PM  
www.epicurious.com

 
D_Evans45 2009-07-02 10:20:40 PM  
nkohkq.blu.livefilestore.com

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-07-02 10:21:09 PM  
Penis

 
atlfarkette 2009-07-02 10:21:24 PM  
Kyosuke: They didn't test Hebrew National???

Fail.


"To pin down this perfect dog, we tasted 13 varieties available nationwide, including the following, listed from highest to lowest score: Nathan's Skinless Beef Franks, Thumann's, Oscar Mayer, Boar's Head, Ball Park, Hatfield Quality Meats, 365, Hebrew National, Applegate Farms, Dietz & Watson, Bilinski's, Nature's Rancher, and D'Artagnan.

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-07-02 10:21:33 PM  
PENIS.

/amidoinitrite?

 
Notabunny 2009-07-02 10:23:30 PM  
Nathan's
spicy mustard
beef chili (no beans)
slaw
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

img.photobucket.com

 
CruJones 2009-07-02 10:23:45 PM  
dahmers love zombie: RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

/Ketchup is for fries
//Vienna all beef FTW

Cheese.
Chili.
Bacon.
Maybe jalapenos.

Nothing else.

/ketchup and mustard are vile


We should hang out.

/mayo sucks too

 
Oznog 2009-07-02 10:24:56 PM  
Kyosuke: They didn't test Hebrew National???

Fail.

mcmnky:They answer to a higher authority.


Editor didn't want to have to fend off suicide bombers.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 10:25:01 PM  
I don't eat them anymore after seeing how they are made. Something about "meat slurry" that does not appeal to me.

 
vsavatar [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:25:45 PM  
i259.photobucket.com

 
eggi541 2009-07-02 10:26:04 PM  
Fluffball: Kirkland Beef Dinner franks for me, the ones from Costco. I just toss them under the broiler then put them in a warmed bun/hoagie roll along with some mustard, onions and cheese.

So good.


Those are the only ones I buy. As an added bonus, on the way out the door I pick up ywo already cooked and drown them in deli mustard for the road.

Other day the local store wanted $5 a pop for beef ball parks yet the mystery mystery meat ball parks were only $1 a pack. I would not feed them to a dog..... Not a fan of Nathans, a bit too greasy.

 
Quantum Apostrophe 2009-07-02 10:26:56 PM  
Her ass?
i269.photobucket.com

 
davynelson 2009-07-02 10:27:25 PM  
yeah ketchup is for fries, and sometimes a burger

hot dogs require mustard and onions and maybe hot peppers
but overloading a decent dog/sausage is like overloading a pizza

it's all about balance, not just of flavor but texture too.
for example that picture of a hot dog with coleslaw and god knows what else on it posted by Notabunny? GROSS.

/but that's just me.
//hot italian sausage FTW!!

 
Wulfhardt 2009-07-02 10:32:27 PM  
Right, like any of you would turn your nose up to any hot dog at a cook-out. Who do you think you're fooling?

 
Nuclear Monk 2009-07-02 10:33:11 PM  
I thought the headline was talking about the sewer thing from earlier today.

 
Notabunny 2009-07-02 10:34:45 PM  
davynelson: GROSS.

The savoriness of the dog + the tanginess of the mustard
The spiciness of the chili + the sweetness of the sesame seed roll
The soft warmth of all the above + the cool crunch of the slaw

Dear sir, you are missing out!

 
Harry_Seldon 2009-07-02 10:36:38 PM  
I used like Wienerschnitzel's Chicago Dog .

 
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier 2009-07-02 10:37:32 PM  
They didn't test Hebrew National???

Fail.


You know who else like cooking Hebrews?

 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:38:24 PM  
1 word: Sabrett's
/that is all
//it's all about the dirty water
//yo

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 10:39:49 PM  
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/nw8yfv
(copy and paste)

 
Rhames 2009-07-02 10:41:59 PM  
i1.ytimg.com

Wow, you must think about ******* ****'* all the time if you you wont eat a hot dog because it reminds you of that.

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-07-02 10:43:50 PM  
Wulfhardt: Right, like any of you would turn your nose up to any hot dog at a cook-out. Who do you think you're fooling?

Not me. Definitely getting some dogs for the 4th now.

..and some cheap-assed american beer/swill.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:45:08 PM  
Hot dog condiments:

Tomatoes
Bacon
Mushrooms
Chorizo
Fried Onions
Cheddar Cheese
Guacamole
Corn
Cream (just a bit)

i5.photobucket.com

/Hermosillo Hot dogs
//Look 'em up

 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:45:40 PM  
gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/nw8yfv
(copy and paste)


I'm going to report you for personal pictures of my wife,
/read the faking FaQ

 
bungle_jr 2009-07-02 10:47:24 PM  
www.braums.com

bow down to the master! BRAUM'S chili cheese frankfurter! de-friggin-licious!

if you don't have a braums near you, MOVE! i did!

ok, so i moved for a job, it is just a matter of good fortune that i ended up with 2 braums within 5 miles of my apartment

 
davynelson 2009-07-02 10:49:06 PM  
Notabunny: Dear sir, you are missing out!


alright, man, but i'm going to need a knife and fork for that
cuz it looks like there's gonna be coleslaw everywhere!

i'm actually very fortunate because i have a 24 hour hot dog vendor one block away....


www.dyslexicinsights.com

 
mortimer_ford 2009-07-02 10:50:49 PM  
CruJones: dahmers love zombie: RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

CruJones: /mayo sucks too

Okay, you crossed the line there, pal. Apologize to my creamy dame or you get the knuckle sandwich. With lots of Hellmann's!

 
GrooveMonkeyZero 2009-07-02 10:55:22 PM  
I guess Vienna Beef and Best's Kosher are not national brands... and I feel terrible for those of you out of reach of these delicacies.

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-07-02 10:55:39 PM  
i43.tinypic.com

 
bungle_jr 2009-07-02 10:55:40 PM  
mortimer_ford: CruJones: dahmers love zombie: RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

CruJones: /mayo sucks too

Okay, you crossed the line there, pal. Apologize to my creamy dame or you get the knuckle sandwich. With lots of Hellmann's!


if mayo is WHITE, it is no good! good mayo is almost yellow.

/prefers miracle whip
//fries with really good mayo are very yummy too

 
RottNDude 2009-07-02 10:57:48 PM  
img268.imageshack.us
You know what the gourmet here wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they're made of, Chet? Huh? Lips and assholes!

 
spi13 2009-07-02 11:00:04 PM  
Action Bastard says,"Put your mouth on a sausage!"

 
onebadgungan 2009-07-02 11:00:56 PM  
Chicago Style, FTW

 
anfrind 2009-07-02 11:02:38 PM  
Ketchup is only good on fries when mixed with an equal amount of sriracha.

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-07-02 11:02:47 PM  
bungle_jr: mortimer_ford: CruJones: dahmers love zombie: RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

CruJones: /mayo sucks too

Okay, you crossed the line there, pal. Apologize to my creamy dame or you get the knuckle sandwich. With lots of Hellmann's!

if mayo is WHITE, it is no good! good mayo is almost yellow.

/prefers miracle whip
//fries with really good mayo are very yummy too


I once ate a whole jar of mayonnaise after having starved for a week or so during hurricane Andrew. You can't imagine how lemony delicious mayonnaise is when your starving.

 
bungle_jr 2009-07-02 11:05:45 PM  
wow, i don't know if i could eat a whole jar of mayo even when starving...but then again you never know what you can/will do until such a situation arises.

but seriously, as a very non-starving (fatty, ha) man, a whole jar sounds very nauseating

Acid_Casualty: bungle_jr: mortimer_ford: CruJones: dahmers love zombie: RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

CruJones: /mayo sucks too

Okay, you crossed the line there, pal. Apologize to my creamy dame or you get the knuckle sandwich. With lots of Hellmann's!

if mayo is WHITE, it is no good! good mayo is almost yellow.

/prefers miracle whip
//fries with really good mayo are very yummy too

I once ate a whole jar of mayonnaise after having starved for a week or so during hurricane Andrew. You can't imagine how lemony delicious mayonnaise is when your starving.

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 11:09:17 PM  
AlwaysRightBoy: gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/nw8yfv
(copy and paste)

I'm going to report you for personal pictures of my wife,
/read the faking FaQ


LOL:)
http://tinyurl.com/meaq6g
(copy and paste, NSFW)

 
PatriciaFarkette 2009-07-02 11:10:40 PM  
How the hell do you starve during a hurricane? Every time we had one in Houston growing up, we had to have BBQ every day and night to use up the meat in the deep freeze before it went bad.

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-07-02 11:11:40 PM  
bungle_jr: but seriously, as a very non-starving (fatty, ha) man, a whole jar sounds very nauseating

Same here. One teaspoon would be revolting to me normally. It was quite good at the time though.

 
fusillade762 2009-07-02 11:12:44 PM  
ZekeMacNeil: Based on the headline, I thought this was going to be a poop thread...

Here I was thinking dildos.

 
onebadgungan 2009-07-02 11:17:11 PM  
gorgor: LOL:)
http://tinyurl.com/meaq6g
(copy and paste, NSFW)


I'd put mayo on that.

/special mayo

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-07-02 11:19:09 PM  
PatriciaFarkette: How the hell do you starve during a hurricane? Every time we had one in Houston growing up, we had to have BBQ every day and night to use up the meat in the deep freeze before it went bad.

It was in the Keys when many counties higher up in the state were obliterated, and everyone from said counties kept driving down and cleaning out all the grocery stores. No power or drinking water for weeks. It was pretty hellish.

 
chickyraptor 2009-07-02 11:20:34 PM  
www.mapleandmore.com Needs New England style rolls.

 
Dallymo [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:26:00 PM  
Celery salt.

Or sauerkraut.

 
thoughtsausage 2009-07-02 11:29:22 PM  
Hebrew National FTW!

/loves me some jewdogs
//can always go for a vienna when in chicago though

 
suraimu 2009-07-02 11:30:24 PM  
Should have used the Weeners tag.

 
Notabunny 2009-07-02 11:33:24 PM  
davynelson: i'm actually very fortunate because i have a 24 hour hot dog vendor one block away....

When I lived in Seattle, I used to think how cool it was that Dick's was open after the bars closed. But a 24 hour hot dog vendor? Your town is clearly peopled by geniuses. Salute!

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:42:08 PM  
Pmoon: I don't eat them anymore after seeing how they are made. Something about "meat slurry" that does not appeal to me.

I'm going to have to think about that one.

Not too much, but definitely going to have to think about it.

 
RoyFokker'sGhost 2009-07-02 11:42:59 PM  
Okay, I'm a lifelong SF Giants fan. I hate everything that involves the Dodgers with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns with only 3 exceptions: Jackie Robinson, Vin Scully, and...

Farmer John frankfurters (makers of the footlong Dodger Dog). Great dogs, on par with Nathans. Don't know if you can get them East of the Rockies though. And the bacon is top notch too.

As for my stadium fare at AT&T Park: Polish on a roll with grilled onions and brown mustard

 
Fooshards 2009-07-02 11:46:07 PM  
KOEGEL'S.

 
mortimer_ford 2009-07-03 12:04:17 AM  
bungle_jr: mortimer_ford: CruJones: dahmers love zombie: RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

CruJones: /mayo sucks too

Okay, you crossed the line there, pal. Apologize to my creamy dame or you get the knuckle sandwich. With lots of Hellmann's!

if mayo is WHITE, it is no good! good mayo is almost yellow.

/prefers miracle whip
//fries with really good mayo are very yummy too


Miracle Whip is practically a criminal offense. Though it can be emptied out so the jar can be used for something more useful like a coinholder or a place to preserve harlequin babies. It can also be launched into Middle Eastern counties so Arabs can stone it to death. You know, serial killers should probably be forced to pose with jars of Miracle Whip when they get their mugshots. Did you know that if applied liberally, it can be used to dislodge curses from the rectums of Gypsies? It can also be put back into the bottle and resold and nobody will know the difference.

Just some facts about Miracle Whip and its stupid logo

 
NoxNoctus 2009-07-03 12:48:50 AM  
Any Best Hot Dog List without Sahlens is not a Best Hot Dog List.

louieshotdogs.com


/Buffalo NY knows what the fark is up.

 
SadeStar 2009-07-03 12:56:00 AM  
chickyraptor - Needs New England style rolls.

Miss those!

mortimer_ford

Miracle Whip is for old people!

 
Ablejack 2009-07-03 01:17:43 AM  
Any decent hot dog is made locally at a small deli shop. They will be connected by their natural casing when you buy em. There is never a package on a good hot dog. The meat tubes judged in TFA are all crap.

 
PopeSchmope 2009-07-03 01:26:05 AM  
RaceDTruck: As soon as I saw Ketchup listed as a hot dog condiment, I stopped reading.

/Ketchup is for fries
//Vienna all beef FTW


Checking profile... yep, yer from Chicago.

/bless you, my dear man

 
OniNeko 2009-07-03 01:30:25 AM  
Pmoon: I don't eat them anymore after seeing how they are made. Something about "meat slurry" that does not appeal to me.

Don't feel too hot after that? Not to worry! A spoonful of Slurry will cure what ails ya!

www.simpsoncrazy.com

/hot like my bile

 
Sidetrack [TotalFark] 2009-07-03 03:00:40 AM  
CygnusDarius:
/Hermosillo Hot dogs
//Look 'em up


I love street vendor dogs in Mexico, didn't have any in Hermosillo, should have though, that looks awesome... of course anything wrapped in bacon is just that much better. Santa Rosalia, Guaymas, La Paz and Mazatlan have some rocking hot dogs.

 
DysphoricMania 2009-07-03 03:28:09 AM  
Is it wrong that my peener twitched a bit, reading that headline?

Was sad to see it was an article about food...

 
Skaro 2009-07-03 03:55:55 AM  
If you're ever in Iceland, get a hotdog, or 20. They're cheap, have a great flavor, and and are juicy yet almost crunchy on the outside. Add the toasty bun and some brown mustard and it's a hot dog experience!

SS Pylsur are made of win! (and probably some sheep bits)

 
Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute 2009-07-03 07:50:36 AM  
i232.photobucket.com

What Girth may look like.

/she used to call me horse, I called her licky.

 
Amphibian 2009-07-03 11:20:39 AM  
heh heh, I knew a girl that could eat a hot dog without chewing... man what a tease she was.

 
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