knocked down by the hunger animal.

Did Stephen Colbert write this story?

NewportBarGuy: knocked down by the hunger animal.

Did Stephen Colbert write this story?

And the bear left the scene with the sandich in its hand.....bears have hands now? This shiat is getting real.

Yogi Bear says gimme your sandwich, biatch.

Adjective Bird Whiskey: Yogi Bear says gimme your sandwich, biatch.

He used to be so mellow...guess he's on the meth now.

Police have arrested a suspect ...

But . . . what kind of sandwich was it?

Six comments in and no "i can haz cheeseburger" reference? Everybody, everybody... the LOLcat meme is officially DEAD!

yay

Bear took it out of his TRUNK. That would never happen if he'd gotten a trunk monkey.

Mother Nature is a vindictive biatch.

The bear was HONGRY!

Also charged: One count of accessory to being a bear

As someone else commented in a different thread about this, if it was a polar bear it wouldn't even make the news.

Hairy, weighs between 300-400 lbs, able to manipulate a car trunk, beats people up for sandwiches...

BRB. I gotta fix up my cousin Steve for his alibi.

I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich, or I am gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin.

YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!

stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

Oh geez, that picture instantly tripled my current hunger level.

I should mention that my previous hunger level was a little over 3000.

stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

taken a laxative?

It's ok, the bear had Subway for lunch.

Dude got off easy. I hear those Jersey bears are real assoles.

stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

And now I have to go to KFC. Would have been A&W but we don't have one of those in town.

What a Bear with a sandwich sandvich may look like.

olapbill: stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

taken a laxative?

Seriously, did they douse that hamburger with the excess fryer grease or something?

stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

If he ate all that I'd guess he'd have a heart attack.

Sandwich down!

vertiaset: New Jersey has guidos AND bears? Dayum remind me to steer clear of that place.

Bears aren't really that bad...unless you have a sandwich.

OneFretAway: Police have arrested a suspect ...

I wish had the artistic ability to add an eviscerated family laying in in a pool of blood and guts off to one side of that picture.

queezyweezel: NewportBarGuy: knocked down by the hunger animal.

Did Stephen Colbert write this story?

And the bear left the scene with the sandich in its hand.....bears have hands now? This shiat is getting real.

How else would he attach the sandwich wrapper to the side of the house?

/obligatory

The whole "the wrapper and remains of the sandwich were found nearby" part has me thinking something's fishy.

Those critters will eat the wrapper right along with the sandwich. We used to put wrapped Twinkies in baits years ago, and we'd find bear shiat with chewed-up Twinkie wrappers in it all the time.

KARE? Really?

Yo mama so fat, when she goes camping the bears hide their food.

Sounds like a regular country bear jambaroo out there. But just one question. Where was the freaking bear patrol?

Hosebeatings: The whole "the wrapper and remains of the sandwich were found nearby" part has me thinking something's fishy.

Those critters will eat the wrapper right along with the sandwich. We used to put wrapped Twinkies in baits years ago, and we'd find bear shiat with chewed-up Twinkie wrappers in it all the time.

The bears around here (BC) have no trouble opening up the "bear-proof" garbage bins and picking through the bags to get at the good bits. They probably wouldn't notice a clear twinky wrapper though.

ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 06:58:16 PM
Mother Nature is a vindictive biatch.

The bear was HONGRY!

-5 internets for gay $tephen king reference.

Why was the man taking his sandwich for a walk?

/just eat the sandwich

The man put up a fight for his sandwich kicking and punching? Is he mad or just plain stupid? If a bear wants my sandwich it's getting the dang sandwich. I mean, have you seen those claws? Does no one have any kind of survival instinct any more? Is Darwin out there just tallying who wipes themselves out from lack of sensible (intelligence) traits?

If you watch this show, you will actually see the man biatch slap a wild bear from time to time.



/really
/pic is as hot as charlie vandergaw's balls are big.

JUST GIVE THE BEAR THE SANDWICH, DUDE!

GIS bear sandwich.

Do not want bear sandwich.

Must go poke out one of my eyes now.

With pic of what it might look like if you got biatchslapped by a black bear for a sandwich



It dislocated his jaw? Seriously, dude, just give the bear the sandwich!

Well if he was in the black bear's driveway, he deserved it for trespassing.

XMark: stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

Oh geez, that picture instantly tripled my current hunger level.

What happened to that picture??

playdate: XMark: stvdallas: I wonder what the bear would have done for my lunch today:

Oh geez, that picture instantly tripled my current hunger level.

What happened to that picture??

I think it had a coronary episode.

Don't worry. Obama and his white unicorn "Justice" will take care of this bear.



Why is he naked? I don't know. Maybe he doesn't want to get his suit dirty. Or maybe that is just how he learned how to bear wrestle.

Obviously he never saw the video on how to survive a bear attack. (new window)

Could save yer life man.....

Oh for fark's sake. Don't do a GIS of bear patrol with safe search off.

I NEED EYE BLEACH.

$10 says this guy tells all his buddies tomorrow "Yeah but you should have seen how the BEAR looked when I was done..."

/oh hai, this was just sitting around
//thought it was vaguely relevant.

queezyweezel
And the bear left the scene with the sandich in its hand.....bears have hands now? This shiat is getting real.

Sandich is the new vodak.

/make me one
//sandich

That's funny that stvdallas' picture got bahleeted. It sounded like it was just a picture of a greasy hamburger. Anyone care to enlighten me what could have brought the +5 Banhammer of Doom?

Oh, I'd like to make sure none of you Farkers are snoring yourselves to death. There's a link on that page that deals with just that horror.

MBarry: Oh for fark's sake. Don't do a GIS of bear patrol with safe search off.

I NEED EYE BLEACH.

We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!

Was it in a pic-a-nic basket?

I'm a sandwich so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...

/BLT

queezyweezel: NewportBarGuy: knocked down by the hunger animal.

Did Stephen Colbert write this story?

And the bear left the scene with the sandich in its hand.....bears have hands now? This shiat is getting real.

Both things I came in to say...leaving unfulfilled, yet happy.

The guy didn't get attacked because he had a sandwich. He got attacked because the bear wanted extra mayonaisse and no mustard. Next time you are delivering a sandwich to a bear Get The Order Right.

budsterr: GIS bear sandwich.

Do not want bear sandwich.

budsterr: GIS bear sandwich.

You put your Bad Idea™ Jeans on, didn't you.

This bear will strafe yo ass...

Was he tender hearted?

PirateFreedom: OneFretAway: Police have arrested a suspect ...

I wish had the artistic ability to add an eviscerated family laying in in a pool of blood and guts off to one side of that picture.

Yeah? Well that makes two of us.

Beerguy: If you watch this show, you will actually see the man biatch slap a wild bear from time to time.



/really
/pic is as hot as charlie vandergaw's balls are big.

Charlie Vandergraw is a complete moron, whom I expect to be dead very soon. I've got his name in my news alerts, so I can submit a fark headline when it happens.

RealFarknMcCoy2: Charlie Vandergraw is a complete moron, whom I expect to be dead very soon. I've got his name in my news alerts, so I can submit a fark headline when it happens.

Maybe Werner Herzog will do a posthumous documentary on his moron ass.

Came for the "This is what the bear could have looked like" news story references. Link (new window)

Leaving disappointed.

THIS... MAN... WOULD HAVE... FOUGHT THE IRON BEAR... FOR HIS...HIS... SANGWIDGE!

/Ya get that thing I sent ya'?

what sandwich may have looked like:

He's lucky he still has a face.

I'm sorry but I can't stop laughing. This story has everything.
-Bears with hands.
-A sandwich
-Black eye
-Bear at large
-Bear punching
-Stealing

What a bear punch may look like:

Goony-GooGoo, What bigfoots do outside of fishing season...

DCrawl
That was hilarious.

I have nothing to contribute to this amusing thread except that I used to know a guy who could do impressions pretty well. Including Yogi Bear and Boo Boo. It would run somewhat thus:

Yogi Bear: "Hey Boo Boo! Bend over and pick up that pic-a-nic basket!"
Boo Boo: "OK YogiiiIIIII!"

Didn't know it was legal in NJ...

http://imgur.com/tdGqc.jpg


Wow... look at me. I'm gorgor.

We woke up to this sight out our bedroom window one morning last week: