If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(National Review) Asinine From the people who brought you The War on Christmas™ and The War on Easter™ comes this summer's blockbuster new sequel. Yep, you guessed it: It's The War on the 4th of July™. Here we go again.......AGAIN   (corner.nationalreview.com) divider line 202
More: Asinine  

202 Comments   (+0 »)


Fark.com's  Political Inclination Thermometric Analyzer:
Neutral 2.24% Fascist
Archived thread
First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
DistendedPendulusFrenulum 2009-07-02 03:33:32 PM  
I just can't wait for the War on Uranus

.

 
Barbigazi [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:38:29 PM  
Those are called fireworks NRO, its festive.

 
El_Perro [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:39:23 PM  
When my now teenagers were much younger, I asked them what we were actually celebrating on the Fourth of July. While they did respond with the correct answer, it did not come immediately.


Just remember, the War on the 4th of July Independence Day starts at home.


 
Mordant [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:39:24 PM  
Independence Day is good, but maybe a more current term would be to call it Freedom Day. Then we could grill up some Freedomfurters with Liberty Cabbage and sit back in our Chinese manufactured lawn chairs and reflect on how far we've come through perseverance and hard work.

 
robmilmel [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:41:07 PM  
Mordant: Independence Day is good, but maybe a more current term would be to call it Freedom Day. Then we could grill up some Freedomfurters with Liberty Cabbage and sit back in our Chinese manufactured lawn chairs and reflect on how far we've come through perseverance and hard work.

Don't forget to wave the Made in China American flag!

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:42:58 PM  
robmilmel: Mordant: Independence Day is good, but maybe a more current term would be to call it Freedom Day. Then we could grill up some Freedomfurters with Liberty Cabbage and sit back in our Chinese manufactured lawn chairs and reflect on how far we've come through perseverance and hard work.

Don't forget to wave the Made in China American flag!


And fire off some Chinese-produced fireworks, so show how much you love America.

 
robmilmel [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:43:38 PM  
GAT_00: so show how much you love America.

***sniff***LAND THAT I LOVE!!!

 
robsul82 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:44:59 PM  
The War on the War of Independence is SICKENING!

 
wyltoknow [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:45:00 PM  
robmilmel: ***sniff***LAND THAT I LOVE!!!

Our home and native land...

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:45:47 PM  
I say Happy Holidays to everyone, all year round, because it's always someone's holiday. I even replace "Happy Birthday" with "Happy Holidays" when I sing it at my sons "Holiday for surviving another year".

NRO is retarded. I think "Happy 4th" and "Happy Independence Day" are both perfectly acceptable and interchangeable, and would respond with a "you too" to both.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:46:33 PM  
wyltoknow: robmilmel: ***sniff***LAND THAT I LOVE!!!

Our home and native land...


If it's good enough for Jesus to call home, it's good enough for us!

 
kronicfeld [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:47:49 PM  
And "conservatives" have the audacity to blame "political correctness" on the left.

 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:49:02 PM  
Dear NRO:

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

No one gives a fark.

 
Mordant [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:52:57 PM  
GAT_00: robmilmel: Mordant: Independence Day is good, but maybe a more current term would be to call it Freedom Day. Then we could grill up some Freedomfurters with Liberty Cabbage and sit back in our Chinese manufactured lawn chairs and reflect on how far we've come through perseverance and hard work.

Don't forget to wave the Made in China American flag!

And fire off some Chinese-produced fireworks, so show how much you love America.


I'm pretty sure most of the fireworks I see around are from Mexico... hopefully not carried in by illegal aliens.

 
BritneysSpeculum [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:02:01 PM  
DistendedPendulusFrenulum: I just can't wait for the War on Uranus

that is a battle fought everyday in the NRO newsroom.

 
patrick767 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:03:05 PM  
GAT_00
And fire off some Chinese-produced fireworks, so show how much you love America.


I hope my city plays "Born in the USA" again during the fireworks! Woohooo!
/like Reagan, who wanted to use it as his campaign song in '84 but the Boss said no, these dumb farks have never really listened to the words

 
Godscrack [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:50:23 PM  
img369.imageshack.us

Complete with paintball attack.

 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:53:32 PM  
It's true. The calendar that the DNC sent me skips from July 3rd, right to July 5th.

The only holidays it lists are Karl Marx's birthday, Hitler Day and Darwin's Anniversary.

 
what_now [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:54:04 PM  
You guys tuning in to the biggest nationally televised 4th of July event? You know the one that's been held every year for decades from that bastion of Real American Conservatism and Patriotism...Boston, Massachusettes?

 
Bloody William 2009-07-02 05:03:44 PM  
We already struggle enough to remember the meaning of what were once revered holidays - holidays that have now been relegated to barbecue and super-sale weekends.

I hate to tell you this, buddy, but... these holidays have been "relegated" as such for longer than I've been alive.

 
Bloody William 2009-07-02 05:05:35 PM  
what_now: You guys tuning in to the biggest nationally televised 4th of July event? You know the one that's been held every year for decades from that bastion of Real American Conservatism and Patriotism...Boston, Massachusettes?

Nah, I'll be watching one of the country's biggest fireworks displays celebrating our independence that's been held every year for decades from that bastion of Real American Conservatism and Patriotism... New York.

Any non-Yankees want to swing around their patriotism balls?

 
Nabb1 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 05:12:20 PM  
Full disclosure: I bought a refrigerator one year at a Fourth of July sale. In fairness, my salesman was dressed as Uncle Sam, so it was a patriotic gesture.

 
House of Tards [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 05:42:52 PM  
The dude who emailed Jay Nordlinger needs to pull the stick Roman Candle from his ass.

 
itazurakko [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 06:12:45 PM  
kronicfeld: And "conservatives" have the audacity to blame "political correctness" on the left.

I prefer the term "patriotically correct" for the this type of nonsense, but yeah. Same shiat, different day.

I will admit though as a kid it did strike me as funny that we say "Happy Fourth of July." In English "The Fourth of July" has become the proper noun for the holiday and so it sounds normal, but if you translate that into other languages directly (as I was trying to explain to some Japanese-only relatives) it does turn into a "yeah, so WHAT is on July 4 precisely, is what we're asking" confusion weirdness. "Independence Day" (or 独立記念日 in my particular case) just works so much better for that practical issue.

Nabb1: In fairness, my salesman was dressed as Uncle Sam, so it was a patriotic gesture.

Heh. I've been one of those people who turns their taxes in on the last day, last five minutes possible (lazy? You betcha!) and there has been some guy dressed up as Uncle Sam at the post office, those times. Costume must get a lot of use.

 
Gonz 2009-07-02 06:37:43 PM  
I'm a traditionalist- I celebrate Independence Day today. After all, John Adams said (wrote): "The second day of July 1776 will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival."

So, July 2nd, the day Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence, is Independence day. July 4th, the day we celebrate, is properly referred to as "the Fourth of July".

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 06:40:07 PM  
It's just not the Fourth of July unless someone loses a finger or an eye. Preferably via mishandling of fireworks, but whatever works for you is OK.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 06:55:45 PM  
WELCOME TO EARTH

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:19:01 PM  
So, nobody but me read the article then? Hint: subby's headline has absolutely nothing to do with it.

 
Yume no Hikari 2009-07-02 07:26:17 PM  
Wait a minute. When did NRO start using Colbert as a source?

 
Pay the Man 2009-07-02 07:26:46 PM  
Why can't we have a "Happy Go Fark Yourself Day"?

 
me_the_farker 2009-07-02 07:28:03 PM  
Didn't Colbert do a segment of this on his show? Do you think they know he is a comedian/satirist?

 
medius [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:28:49 PM  
wyltoknow: Our home and native land...

get oot and stay oot

 
robmilmel [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:28:57 PM  
Pay the Man: Why can't we have a "Happy Go Fark Yourself Day"?

April 15th.

 
DPWbrc 2009-07-02 07:31:45 PM  
jackie and dunlap (new window) from red state update have already addressed this.

 
Otto's_Jacket [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:31:54 PM  
Bloody William: what_now: You guys tuning in to the biggest nationally televised 4th of July event? You know the one that's been held every year for decades from that bastion of Real American Conservatism and Patriotism...Boston, Massachusettes?

Nah, I'll be watching one of the country's biggest fireworks displays celebrating our independence that's been held every year for decades from that bastion of Real American Conservatism and Patriotism... New York.

Any non-Yankees want to swing around their patriotism balls?



My patriotism balls don't jingle, they "jingo"!

 
Reverend Otis 2009-07-02 07:32:04 PM  
I thought the 4th of July only existed in the U.S.

In Britain, Canada and elsewhere, don't they just skip from the 3rd of July straight to the 5th?

 
Ecobuckeye 2009-07-02 07:32:24 PM  
And I'll gladly stand up! (dramatic pause, du du dun) Next to you, and defend her still today!

 
Hoopy Frood 2009-07-02 07:32:40 PM  
When my now teenagers were much younger, I asked them what we were actually celebrating on the Fourth of July. While they did respond with the correct answer, it did not come immediately. We already struggle enough to... blah blah blah.

So what's his problem, infants don't know? Maybe zygotes?

 
Mr_Ectomy [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:33:05 PM  
wyltoknow: robmilmel: ***sniff***LAND THAT I LOVE!!!

Our home and native land...


True Patriot Love!

 
chipspastic 2009-07-02 07:33:25 PM  
I am shocked, SHOCKED at the insensitivity of Farkers to the plight of Independence Day.

 
Fart_Machine 2009-07-02 07:33:49 PM  
Weren't we told that consumption is patriotic?

 
RevMercutio [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:34:23 PM  
El_Perro: When my now teenagers were much younger, I asked them what we were actually celebrating on the Fourth of July. While they did respond with the correct answer, it did not come immediately.

Just remember, the War on the 4th of July Independence Day starts at home.


"It's important to remember what the day means, because my kids were too stupid to do it."

 
error 303 2009-07-02 07:34:41 PM  
I would just like to point out that the vote for independence actually passed July 2nd, today. Why does NRO hate July 2nd?

That being said, I only get patriotic when it comes to US Soccer(despite being in the millitary), and will be spending my 4th watching the Gold Cup and then my KC Wizards :)

 
Mr_Ectomy [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:35:21 PM  
Reverend Otis: I thought the 4th of July only existed in the U.S.

In Britain, Canada and elsewhere, don't they just skip from the 3rd of July straight to the 5th?


I'm Canadian, and I'm going to a 4th of July party this weekend.

/Also was invited to an Obama inauguration party here, too.
//weird

 
Shadowknight [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:36:24 PM  
I'll be spending my Fourth of July/Independence Day weekend working the ambulance, saving people from themselves. I anticipate three days worth of fireworks injuries, alcohol poisoning, and car accidents involving both.

 
Forty-Two [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:40:36 PM  
Mr_Ectomy: wyltoknow: robmilmel: ***sniff***LAND THAT I LOVE!!!

Our home and native land...

True Patriot Love!


In all thy sons command!

 
Soymilk [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 07:41:05 PM  
I Said: wyltoknow: robmilmel: ***sniff***LAND THAT I LOVE!!!

Our home and native land...

If it's good enough for Jesus to call home, it's good enough for us!


I like it. I'm going to make bumper stickers and sell it at county fairs:
"America - good enough for Jesus, good enough for me."

 
The Thnikkaman 2009-07-02 07:41:28 PM  
Why can't we have a "Happy Go Fark Yourself Day"?

I think that's Black Friday.

 
Apik0r0s 2009-07-02 07:41:33 PM  
And the moranic hillbillies who eat this NRO crap up are at Wal-Mart stocking up for the big day. Yay America!

 
MrSteve007 2009-07-02 07:41:39 PM  
Happy "Suck it, British" Day!

 
Displayed 50 of 202 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]