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(Philly) Dumbass Fortune teller convinces teenage girls that having sex with him will make wishes come true. Of course, he didn't say whose wishes   (philly.com) divider line 103
More: Dumbass  
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10080 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2009 at 9:52 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

103 Comments   (+0 »)


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real shaman [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:09:45 PM  
this is wrong????

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:23:24 PM  
Oh, that Quagmire.

 
TheOther [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:56:42 PM  
Eeny meeny, chili beany...

 
j.carney 2009-07-02 09:54:27 PM  
You're doing it wro....er, nevermind.

 
Kveld 2009-07-02 09:56:28 PM  
Hmmm...

How David Copperfield stayed with Claudia Schiffer for so long seems a little more clear now.

 
tortilla burger [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 09:56:31 PM  
He would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids

 
thereisnospoon 2009-07-02 09:56:32 PM  
...does... this... work...?

 
MBarry [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 09:56:42 PM  
Just keep on rubbing the lamp, and the genie will come out to grant you three wishes.

 
Solty Dog 2009-07-02 09:57:07 PM  
Two girls, Ace of Cups?

 
Robert1966 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 09:59:20 PM  
Surely girls on whom such a thing worked were falling for lines let and right.

 
ilikeracecars 2009-07-02 09:59:24 PM  
If they were over 18, that would have been awesome.

 
TheNyquilKid [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 09:59:48 PM  
Ok it's sleazy and wrong on every level...but every guy in here has just considered getting a fortune teller booth and setting up at out door music festivals to pick up chicks,just gotta check ID.

 
mrEdude 2009-07-02 10:01:13 PM  
Unbelievable.

If only I'd known chicks was this stupid.
I might've gotten laid now and then.

 
vandelay 2009-07-02 10:03:21 PM  
What an idiot. Everyone knows the numbers are 6 and 9.

 
ChadManMn 2009-07-02 10:04:58 PM  
TheNyquilKid: Ok it's sleazy and wrong on every level...but every guy in here has just considered getting a fortune teller booth and setting up at out door music festivals to pick up chicks,just gotta check ID.

Pay no attention to my little friend behind the curtain zipper.

 
wango_tango 2009-07-02 10:05:24 PM  
wow. just...wow

 
fendrluvr 2009-07-02 10:05:29 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

/disapproves
//obviously

 
CowboyNinjaD 2009-07-02 10:07:33 PM  
This is kind of like the deleted sub-plot where Zoltan gives Josh Baskin AIDS.

msnbcmedia.msn.com

 
NYZooMan 2009-07-02 10:11:10 PM  
Girls. Stupid.

/Redundant.

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-07-02 10:11:29 PM  
It takes a special kind of gullibility to think about it for months and still DO IT!

 
The First 2009-07-02 10:12:22 PM  
how dumb do u have to be to fall for that???

Just sad I didn't come up with that!!

 
NYZooMan 2009-07-02 10:14:09 PM  
Since stupid girls breed the most/easiest how did we ever evolve intelligence?

/argument against evolution

 
mcmnky 2009-07-02 10:16:34 PM  
CowboyNinjaD: This is kind of like the deleted sub-plot where Zoltan gives Josh Baskin AIDS.

Win.

 
richlw 2009-07-02 10:19:10 PM  
wadelhardt.eu

"He told him her clothes has ghosts in them. Then he pulled out his winkie, and told it was a strawberry ice cream cone"

 
oldweevil 2009-07-02 10:19:45 PM  
i78.photobucket.com

"Giggity giggity giggity giggity, let's have sex!"

 
Phatchef 2009-07-02 10:20:38 PM  
NYZooMan: Since stupid girls breed the most/easiest how did we ever evolve intelligence?

/argument against evolution


Well the reason why they're reproducing faster is b/c Society is interfering with Natural selection. The weak are allowed to survie and since it cost less resources to be weak you're going to have more weak members than strong members. Thus the trend you're alluding too.

 
mrEdude 2009-07-02 10:21:16 PM  
BlowPopGirl It takes a special kind of gullibility to think about it for months and still DO IT!


THIS.

My god, I was rootin' for her as I read it, then...facepalm.

 
myzdoxae 2009-07-02 10:26:47 PM  
imageduck.com

 
budsterr 2009-07-02 10:27:04 PM  
img2.pict.com

 
WFern 2009-07-02 10:30:20 PM  
thefrontsteps.com

"I want to get laid."

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:30:21 PM  
She said that when she was 13, Ayala read her Tarot cards and said that he saw bad luck in her near future.

Apparently, she misheard him. He didn't say "luck"

 
Vorpal 2009-07-02 10:30:26 PM  
He met them at the Alamo.
In the basement.

 
IonBeam2 2009-07-02 10:30:34 PM  
So, how is Darwinism supposed to work if stuff like this happens?

 
Joelogon [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:33:28 PM  
vertiaset: How does it make you feel to read the posts on threads like these where the guys alternate from absolute porn driven lust for young females to an obvious distrust and near loathing for women as human beings?
[...]

White knight-like typing detected.

I ask, because if I were a woman and reading Fark I think I would soon come to the conclusion that all males were potential stalkers and serial killers.

In some schools of feminist thought, this is axiomatic.

/stubmitter

 
vinn01 2009-07-02 10:36:25 PM  
If this guy was 15 the Hero tag would be glowing red hot.

/ 59 = creep perv
// Going to PMITA prison I hope

 
chu2dogg 2009-07-02 10:39:56 PM  
vertiaset: This is a kind of threadjack and I apologize in advance.

Okay, ladies, here's a question for all you Farkettes, if you care to answer:

How does it make you feel to read the posts on threads like these where the guys alternate from absolute porn driven lust for young females to an obvious distrust and near loathing for women as human beings?

Now I am asking this question as a mature man and a father. I do not recall feeling that way at all about women or girls when I was in my dating days. I honestly wonder how much of this is related to the ubiquity of pornography in today's digital universe. It really does seem that a generation of young men with their views on sex and sexuality completely skewed by the easy access to the most degrading portrayals of the sexual act. Now don't get me wrong, I do not think that the portrayal of sex is dirty or wrong and I would acknowledge that the use of pornographic material may have a use in a healthy normal sex life but with limits.

I ask, because if I were a woman and reading Fark I think I would soon come to the conclusion that all males were potential stalkers and serial killers. I mean a great many posts on any Fark thread dealing with women and sexuality are just plain creepy.

End threadjack, and I now return you to your misogynistic thread in progress.


Hope you get laid for that one bro, good luck to ya.

 
IonBeam2 2009-07-02 10:40:55 PM  
"He told me that I needed to do seven [vaginal intercourse] for it to be a complete job," the girl said."

I wonder what [vaginal intercourse] is replacing here.

 
Phinn 2009-07-02 10:41:07 PM  
NYZooMan: Since stupid girls breed the most/easiest how did we ever evolve intelligence?

/argument against evolution


Here's how it works -- Vikings raid villages at dawn looking for hot young women. Then they take these women back to their longships and sail back to wherever Vikings live, and have sex with them, thereby producing statistically more attractive offspring.

The female offspring are hot, and the male offspring kick ass.

Actually, now that I think about it, intelligence is not a part of this process. Which might explain why humanity is so farking stupid.

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-07-02 10:44:54 PM  
vertiaset: This is a kind of threadjack and I apologize in advance.

Okay, ladies, here's a question for all you Farkettes, if you care to answer:

How does it make you feel to read the posts on threads like these where the guys alternate from absolute porn driven lust for young females to an obvious distrust and near loathing for women as human beings?

Now I am asking this question as a mature man and a father. I do not recall feeling that way at all about women or girls when I was in my dating days. I honestly wonder how much of this is related to the ubiquity of pornography in today's digital universe. It really does seem that a generation of young men with their views on sex and sexuality completely skewed by the easy access to the most degrading portrayals of the sexual act. Now don't get me wrong, I do not think that the portrayal of sex is dirty or wrong and I would acknowledge that the use of pornographic material may have a use in a healthy normal sex life but with limits.

I ask, because if I were a woman and reading Fark I think I would soon come to the conclusion that all males were potential stalkers and serial killers. I mean a great many posts on any Fark thread dealing with women and sexuality are just plain creepy.

End threadjack, and I now return you to your misogynistic thread in progress.


If I didn't have enough ego to read and survive a fark thread, I don't belong. I enjoy reading different perspectives. Learning the "why" of people is as interesting as their profile.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 10:45:14 PM  
When I worked for a video game company we had a machine that was a "Gypsy" fortune teller machine. I used to fix the thermal printers in them. I had to test them so I would get other employees to try them out when I was done, Most of them actually believed the random garbage that the machine spit out.

 
hardinparamedic [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:45:20 PM  
This is the hidden danger of twilight.

 
Oznog 2009-07-02 10:48:39 PM  
animated-views.com

You have to PROVE you're commitment to your hopes and dreams... by sucking my cock!

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 10:52:14 PM  
vertiaset: End threadjack, and I now return you to your misogynistic thread in progress.

You sound fat.

 
CowboyNinjaD 2009-07-02 10:52:38 PM  
vertiaset: I ask, because if I were a woman and reading Fark I think I would soon come to the conclusion that all males were potential stalkers and serial killers. I mean a great many posts on any Fark thread dealing with women and sexuality are just plain creepy.


The women who come to Fark eat this shiat up. They post a sexually suggestive comment and wait for all the basement dwellers to click their profile and look at their cam-whore pictures and tell them how hot they are.

Any well adjusted female would be immediately repulsed by the comments left on Fark, delete their accounts and never come back.

 
Oznog 2009-07-02 10:53:56 PM  
IonBeam2: "He told me that I needed to do seven [vaginal intercourse] for it to be a complete job," the girl said."

I wonder what [vaginal intercourse] is replacing here.


srv0204-02.sjc3.imeem.com
Say, is there a shorter word for "intercourse"??

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 10:54:44 PM  
CowboyNinjaD: vertiaset: I ask, because if I were a woman and reading Fark I think I would soon come to the conclusion that all males were potential stalkers and serial killers. I mean a great many posts on any Fark thread dealing with women and sexuality are just plain creepy.


The women who come to Fark eat this shiat up. They post a sexually suggestive comment and wait for all the basement dwellers to click their profile and look at their cam-whore pictures and tell them how hot they are.

Any well adjusted female would be immediately repulsed by the comments left on Fark, delete their accounts and never come back.


As would blacks and jews, I imagine.

 
mortimer_ford 2009-07-02 10:57:01 PM  
CowboyNinjaD: This is kind of like the deleted sub-plot where Zoltan gives Josh Baskin AIDS.

That's brilliant.

/stole your mama's T-cells

 
AaronSynn 2009-07-02 10:57:10 PM  
Yep...

When I was young, evil, and had the motivation, I learned how to 'read' Tarot cards (actually it was more like I learned how to put on a good show and tell people stuff that could apply to anyone)

I'd take them to clubs, and just sit, looking bored, laying them out on some table in the corner...

You should've seen the ladies lining up...

(Used it to meet tons of girls, never tried the 'the cards say you must sleep with me or you're doomed' angle)

 
Solty Dog 2009-07-02 10:59:30 PM  
vertiaset: I ask, because if I were a woman and reading Fark I think I would soon come to the conclusion that all males were potential stalkers and serial killers. I mean a great many posts on any Fark thread dealing with women and sexuality are just plain creepy.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 
Johnnyflash 2009-07-02 10:59:51 PM  
If only he could have been a little more patient, then he would be a hero. For example, he sows the (mental) seeds in these young naive girls by convincing them of their bad luck in the future, and the need for them to remain virgins. As they come back for later visits, he keeps it going, adding a little more gloom each time. Then when they are close to legal age, he convinces them that a full variety of sexual acts must be performed in order to release the evil spirits, and that it could take days to complete the "ritual". He informs them the "ritual" must take place on their 18th birthday, because this is the chosen day, and they are finally mature enough to take on this great responsibility to rid the family of evil. Then after the few days of hot dirty sex...I mean "ritual". The young hot 18 y/o can finally live without this burden and enjoy life again.
Then he can finally say the sex was so dirty, that vomit was used as a lubricant.

 
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