Riiight.

What's a cubit?

Pro tip: Forests contain wood planks ready for building

Darth Mewling: This reminds me of my favorite joke...

What's harder than my wang while I nuke the entire north-east?
Nothin'

What's great about the NE?
Nothin'

How many Union workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three one to screw in the lightbulb two to go on break.

How many NYers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, there's no Union for that.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None they just sit in the dark and cry.

Those are farking hilarious.

But just in case, you might want to keep your day job.

Is it OK if I use boobits* for my measurements instead of cubits?

Not that I really want to build it, but it would be a good excuse to keep my wife topless. "Honey, I gotta measure this board..."


*Boobit: A linear measurement defined as the distance between the center of the nipples on a pair of large breasts.

Darth Mewling: This reminds me of my favorite joke...

What's harder than my wang while I nuke the entire north-east?
Nothin'

What's great about the NE?
Nothin'

How many Union workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three one to screw in the lightbulb two to go on break.

How many NYers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, there's no Union for that.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None they just sit in the dark and cry.

I didn't think NY counted as NE

5th day in a row without a speck of sun. Before that there moops: It rained all day today, and last week our storm drain and sewer mains on the street backed up. Toilet paper, condoms, and tampons were all over the street.

Some people call that Mardi Gras

some people call that ^ ADD

NewportBarGuy: As narrated by Eddie Izzard.


Link (NSFW language)

I submit an original (new window)

Also, Seattle area has set the local record for most dry days.
Give it back, Boston! Or else we will send you LED signs. Gimme back my rain!

dittybopper: Is it OK if I use boobits* for my measurements instead of cubits?

Not that I really want to build it, but it would be a good excuse to keep my wife topless. "Honey, I gotta measure this board..."


*Boobit: A linear measurement defined as the distance between the center of the nipples on a pair of large breasts.

God will permit this only if you share the boobies.

Basil Wolverton approves:

boooorrrring
this was much more entertaining-

Celtics dancer tryouts (new window)


was on the same page atleast.

I went into town today and we're thinking we might get some Sun in October, just in time for it to cool off and snow. It's a good thing I love fishing otherwise I'd have not left the house very much at all this summer.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Darth Mewling: This reminds me of my favorite joke...

What's harder than my wang while I nuke the entire north-east?
Nothin'

What's great about the NE?
Nothin'

How many Union workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three one to screw in the lightbulb two to go on break.

How many NYers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, there's no Union for that.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None they just sit in the dark and cry.

Those are farking hilarious.

But just in case, you might want to keep your day job.

I'm being laid off.

moistD: Darth Mewling: This reminds me of my favorite joke...

What's harder than my wang while I nuke the entire north-east?
Nothin'

What's great about the NE?
Nothin'

How many Union workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three one to screw in the lightbulb two to go on break.

How many NYers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, there's no Union for that.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None they just sit in the dark and cry.

I didn't think NY counted as NE

I meant north east not New England. I can see how that could be bemusing...

This thread is worthless without pics of girls in sundresses.

/lives in Boston
//just came back from austin where it was over 100 every day
///prefers the rain

dittybopper: Is it OK if I use boobits* for my measurements instead of cubits?

Just as long as you're not using Bobbits.

Meanwhile, for those of us in the mid-south: If you see this guy, could you send him in our direction?

LaChanz: The good news is that I'm seeing mushrooms that I've never seen before...

The bad news is that it's been so humid the base of my winkie is covered with Beefsteak Fungus.

I miss being in a girl in a sundress.

Seriously, I'm in New York and started making Ark jokes two weeks ago. Good thing the June monsoon season is over and now we can -

Damn, it's raining AGAIN.

At least our tomato crop is thriving.

C'mon! Get real already. We've had three straight days of biblical deluges in central Florida. 3+ hours of rain at a sustained 2-3" per hour. Comes in from the gulf and rides up I4 like it's on rails. Not too bad today and supposed to be clear tomorrow so I can get to Disney for a reunion.

Dittybopper: a cubit is from the crook in the arm to the wrist so the measurements may be equal. If you're lucky

/Ladies! Attention. Do not post links to sun dress patterns and ads. Please to model them for the Farkers here to relieve the monotony of having to stay indoors during these very trying times.
//We thank you. The Management of Adams Manor.

Raining in NYC right now. Again. Forces the tourists into the subway.

Demetrius: I'm in CT. I might as well be in freaking Seattle.

Read on...

Sixxtwo:
Also, Seattle area has set the local record for most dry days.
Give it back, Boston! Or else we will send you LED signs. Gimme back my rain!

Seriously! I live in Seattle for the even 72-76 degree overcast weather. This sunny day bullshiat has got to stop! I've actually gotten a bit of a tan for the first time in years! I'm warning you Boston! LED signs and pot holes, comin' right at you if you don't give us back our weather!

/Sixxtwo I saw those LED signs on I-90 for the first time a couple weeks ago. What the hell's the point of that?

Yeah this weather is putrid in Boston. Last night the thunder was so bad it set off car alarms. Worst June since 1903 (when they apparently started keeping Worst June records, so it could possibly be the worst June in the history of planet earth). July is 2/2 on overcast rainy days.

Someone needs to hit the reset button already.

How long can you tread water?

/ha ha ha ha ha

Ahh, suck it up NE Farkers. Some of us have to deal with this incessant dampness 9 months out of the year.

/Finally beautiful and sunny in Seattle
//Goin' to a barbecue this weekend
///You can borrow my umbrellas if you want

Also:


Guess it's time to run to the hills, there's no prayer for the dying in this brave new world. Maybe somewhere in time we wont be doing the dance of death with the weather, but that still doesn't give me piece of mind.

ThrnPhl: This weather is driving me insane.

Same here. Of course in my case it's a REAL short trip.

/Finally being driven around the bend by basically a MONTH of rain.
//Having fun listening to a global warming skeptic scientist on Howie Carr.
///Wanna bet the 4th will be wet too? And I have a Cape Cookout planned.

socialpoison: LED signs and pot holes, comin' right at you if you don't give us back our weather!

Boston sneers at what the Pacific Northwest considers potholes.

Yeah, this "summer" has truly sucked so far. I say we burn weatherman Harvey Leonard. In effigy, at least.

theorellior: On the bright--wait, it's been cloudy since forever. Okay, on the positive side, we haven't had to break out the AC for the bedroom window yet.

I've had to. Not really so much because of the heat, but because of the humidity... It sucks when you get in bed, and the sheets feel moist. Well, at least I get use of my shiny new air conditioner.

But all food does seem to get moldy really quickly...

i.r.id10t: Whats a cubit?

Riiiiight.... what's an ark?

/my lawn, get off of it!
//want a jello pudding pop?

Awright awright, for all you folks up there who miss seeing girls in sundresses, here's Erin Andrews:

/must be summer, she's not wearing pants

theorellior: Speaking of sewing, my wife can whip out a sundress in about three hours, tops.

Pffft, that's nothing. I can whip off a sundress in 4 seconds, tops.

/Ladies, the line forms over here

dittybopper: Is it OK if I use boobits* for my measurements instead of cubits?

I read it as 'Bobbit.'

Thanks for the trauma.

I'm an ark. I'm an aaaaaaaarrrk. Suck my dick. I'm an aaaaaaarrrrk.

aegiswings: This thread is worthless without pics of girls in sundresses.

/lives in Boston
//just came back from austin where it was over 100 every day
///prefers the rain

Ask and you shall recive


/hot hot hot

I live in Hawaii and....well nothing really, I just wanted to rub in the fact that I live in Hawaii....moving to San Diego soon though.

I always knew I'd end up like Steve Carell in that movie, I just didn't know "that movie" was Evan Almighty...

socialpoison: LED signs and pot holes, comin' right at you if you don't give us back our weather!

You may have a threat with the LEDs... especially if they're Lite-Brite shaped.

But potholes? Please. They come the length, width (and arguably depth) of VW Bugs here.

/it's like skiing moguls on 95 South.

If an ark becomes necessary, a more appropriate diagram might be that one that instructs you to a) place your head firmly between your legs, and b) kiss your ass goodbye.

bonesdilligaf: aegiswings: This thread is worthless without pics of girls in sundresses.

/lives in Boston
//just came back from austin where it was over 100 every day
///prefers the rain

Ask and you shall recive


/hot hot hot

But then you'll have to turn your head until the darkness goes..

theorellior: Boston sneers at what the Pacific Northwest considers potholes.

Clearly you've never fallen into one of the sarlacc pits on MLK drive.

/outnerd that metaphor!

ThrnPhl: I miss being a girl in a sundress.

Mmmmmmm sundresses. I think it may be the greatest piece of clothing ever made.

+1!

My 4th of July plans to go to the yearly bonfires on the beach are in jeopardy. Damn you global warming! Where are you when I need you!

Rob McKenna, would you and your lorry please go back to England now?

socialpoison: Demetrius: I'm in CT. I might as well be in freaking Seattle

/Sixxtwo I saw those LED signs on I-90 for the first time a couple weeks ago. What the hell's the point of that?



These LED signs are the ones I am on about.

Gulper Eel: Rob McKenna, would you and your lorry please go back to England now?

I wonder what number he'd consider conditions today.

what_now: ThrnPhl: I miss seeing girls in sundresses.

I miss being a girl in a sundress.

I KNOW! Its unreal! Thankfully the sun peeked out for a bit on saturday so I could wear one of my new ones to a wedding (which was held outdoors by some miracle)

F....ark

F...ark

F..ark

F.ark

Fark!

Zuel: i.r.id10t: Whats a cubit?

Riiiiight.... what's an ark?

/my lawn, get off of it!
//want a jello pudding pop?

Came in here for the Cosby reference. Leaving satisfied.

/There's good old Naoh waitin' underneath the elephant there
Brrrrroooooooooom