She bravely rattles on, throwing out attempts at flowery prose while regaling us with byzantine sidelines and petty diversions; but yeah...what subby said.

St_Francis_P: She bravely rattles on, throwing out attempts at flowery prose while regaling us with byzantine sidelines and petty diversions; but yeah...what subby said.


Maybe this is why her husband traveled on business 20 weeks a year. He couldn't stand to listen her prattle on like that, either.

msannomalley: St_Francis_P: She bravely rattles on, throwing out attempts at flowery prose while regaling us with byzantine sidelines and petty diversions; but yeah...what subby said.


Maybe this is why her husband traveled on business 20 weeks a year. He couldn't stand to listen her prattle on like that, either.

Could be. Of course, he married her, so he really only had himself to blame.

Just read the article. The author and her friends are a bunch of pretentious and self absorbed douchebaggettes. No wonder why her marriage failed.

Ughh. I honestly tried to read that, but it was like eating five pounds of potatoes. The first paragraph or two were okay, but halfway through I felt nauseated and bloated and I couldn't continue.

msannomalley: Just read the article. The author and her friends are a bunch of pretentious and self absorbed douchebaggettes. No wonder why her marriage failed.

No doubt, but do you think she was a pleasant, well-adjusted person when he married her? It's been my observation that douchebags attract, marry, and torture each other.

It's always amusing how people try to make themselves feel normal by suggesting that their experiences are commonplace.

Playerslight: Ughh. I honestly tried to read that, but it was like eating five pounds of potatoes. The first paragraph or two were okay, but halfway through I felt nauseated and bloated and I couldn't continue.

THIS. One wonders if she needs to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

Playerslight: ...but halfway through I felt nauseated and bloated and I couldn't continue.

Much like the author of that article.

/I bet she's fat.

Jeebus - she and her spouse (and her closest friends, apparently) are pathetic losers, and it's society's fault? Honest introspection is probably beyond Loh's abilities, but I'll bet if she had spent a bit of each day working on being a *happy* wife and mother instead of a "good" one she'd wind up being a *good* wife and mother.

But maybe that is society's fault. Society presents a spotless home, happy children, and adoring husband and a fulfilling career as the brass rings to be pursued. Meanwhile, there's little acknowledgement that holding on to one or two of those rings simultaneously is the max that can be achieved without driving oneself insane and not being able to hold *any* of the rings.

[Nah, it doesn't take much thought to determine that one's energy and effort is limited, therefore one's pursuits should be prioritized. Shallow biatches just don't bother thinking the matter through - they just operate as if the *appearance* of happiness is an adequate replacement for actual happiness.]

So this woman by choice sat at home for years instead of going out a living the moments of life when her husband wasn't around and now it's his fault.

Oh yeah - her daddy "raged." Daddy issues - male issues. Men don't give her enough, but she does nothing to go out and get it.

Wait until she's 55 and one of her girly parts has cancer and she's alone. Flat ass farking alone. No guy having casual sex with a 55 year-old is going to sit around with woman while her hair falls out and she barfs on command. She pissed away the only guy that would do that for her.

On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember - it's the people. This biatch deserves neither.

bradkanus: On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember - it's the people.

I got about 1/3 down the page before my brain just couldn't parse anymore.

That essay is an abuse of language that should be punishable by waterboarding.

You torture us, we torture you. Now put down the Thesaurus and get back in your cave.

/Oh yeah, and the essay contents weren't any better

Don't hate on polyandry - and I can't think of many fundie Mormon guys who are wonderful, selfless, eloquent people.

/Didn't RTDA

bradkanus: On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember - it's the people.

Some people can grow comfortably into middle age and still never grow up. It's like listening to a 20 year-old university girl.

watch the video - she's extremely self-centered. An attention whore, if you will.

This woman is all about her and now trying to justify cheating on what seems to be a perfectly great guy and then encouraging her friends to dump what seems to be perfectly great guys.

Apparently the one woman doesn't think it's cool that her husband tells her to keep after her weight and looks (health and beauty issue) and pay attention when giving medicine to the dog (she gave the dog the wrong medicine). By god - he's freaking awful. I wonder what she'd think if he farked her sister.

St_Francis_P: msannomalley: Just read the article. The author and her friends are a bunch of pretentious and self absorbed douchebaggettes. No wonder why her marriage failed.

No doubt, but do you think she was a pleasant, well-adjusted person when he married her? It's been my observation that douchebags attract, marry, and torture each other.

Both of them probably pretended to be pleasant people, and then once the ring was on, their true selves came out.

bradkanus: watch the video - she's extremely self-centered. An attention whore, if you will.

This woman is all about her and now trying to justify cheating on what seems to be a perfectly great guy and then encouraging her friends to dump what seems to be perfectly great guys.

I just couldn't make it all the way through it. I'm trying, I really am, but my goodness maybe I have to be in my late 40's in order to appreciate that tripe.

Apparently the one woman doesn't think it's cool that her husband tells her to keep after her weight and looks (health and beauty issue) and pay attention when giving medicine to the dog (she gave the dog the wrong medicine). By god - he's freaking awful. I wonder what she'd think if he farked her sister.

I wonder how both of them will react when they re-enter the dating scene and finally have a chance to fulfil their fantasies. I wonder what they'll think of their choices.

45 year old guys have broader options when it comes to dating. 45 year old women? You're pretty much stuck with an older pool of guys.

/horrible generalizations because I'm in a stabby mood today.

Playerslight: I wonder how both of them will react when they re-enter the dating scene and finally have a chance to fulfil their fantasies. I wonder what they'll think of their choices.

45 year old guys have broader options when it comes to dating. 45 year old women? You're pretty much stuck with an older pool of guys.

The dude will be fine - he'll just get a younger wife, re-discover his libido and have more kids, which will contribute to his ex-wife's bitterness. Meanwhile, she'll have to lose that f*cking weight, package herself attractively and sweeten her attitude if she's gonna get another guy even close to her age (or hell, even an 80-year-old can be picky about looks, if he has enough money). Otherwise, she'll be able to enjoy her lack of sex life and she'll have to cook/clean/parent/etc. by herself instead of having a pretty good partner to do it with her. Dumb biatch - should have put down the ho-hos and picked up the fitness dvd.

Reminds me of that joke about the five-story department store.

These two single women are walking down the street when they notice a new building has gone up. All it says on the side is "MEN." They ask the doorman what the building is, and he explains that it contains single men, organized by category. They simply go up in the elevator, and when the doors open on a floor they would like, they're free to exit. But, once they choose a floor, they cannot get back on the elevator. If they do not find a man they like, they must exit the building and will never be allowed back.

The two women decide to take a chance. They get in the elevator, the doors close, and a moment later they open to reveal a sign that says:

FLOOR 1 - POOR, UGLY MEN.

The two women giggle and push "2". The door opens to reveal a sign that says :

FLOOR 2 - POOR, HANDSOME MEN.

They look at each other and shrug, and the doors close and open a moment later to reveal:

FLOOR 3 - RICH, UGLY MEN.

They look at each other and think, "Ok, we gotta go to the next floor!" The doors open to reveal:

FLOOR 4 - RICH, HANDSOME MEN.

They notice that there's one floor left, and they decide they have to see what's on the fifth floor. The doors close, and then a moment later, they open to reveal:

FLOOR 5: THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR. THIS FLOOR EXISTS TO PROVE THAT WOMEN WILL ALWAYS WANT MORE. PLEASE TAKE THE STAIRS TO YOUR LEFT TO RETURN TO THE STREET.

bradkanus: So this woman by choice sat at home for years instead of going out a living the moments of life when her husband wasn't around and now it's his fault.

Oh yeah - her daddy "raged." Daddy issues - male issues. Men don't give her enough, but she does nothing to go out and get it.

Wait until she's 55 and one of her girly parts has cancer and she's alone. Flat ass farking alone. No guy having casual sex with a 55 year-old is going to sit around with woman while her hair falls out and she barfs on command. She pissed away the only guy that would do that for her.

On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember - it's the people. This biatch deserves neither.

Extremely well said.

Playerslight: Ughh. I honestly tried to read that, but it was like eating five pounds of potatoes. The first paragraph or two were okay, but halfway through I felt nauseated and bloated and I couldn't continue.

This.

Playerslight: bradkanus: watch the video - she's extremely self-centered. An attention whore, if you will.

This woman is all about her and now trying to justify cheating on what seems to be a perfectly great guy and then encouraging her friends to dump what seems to be perfectly great guys.

I just couldn't make it all the way through it. I'm trying, I really am, but my goodness maybe I have to be in my late 40's in order to appreciate that tripe.

Apparently the one woman doesn't think it's cool that her husband tells her to keep after her weight and looks (health and beauty issue) and pay attention when giving medicine to the dog (she gave the dog the wrong medicine). By god - he's freaking awful. I wonder what she'd think if he farked her sister.

I wonder how both of them will react when they re-enter the dating scene and finally have a chance to fulfil their fantasies. I wonder what they'll think of their choices.

45 year old guys have broader options when it comes to dating. 45 year old women? You're pretty much stuck with an older pool of guys.

/horrible generalizations because I'm in a stabby mood today.


A very good point that my wife just made to me via emai. She was quite candid when she wrote that if I made a great living and kept in mild shape I could have pretty 30 year-old women well into my 60's. No matter what she does, I'm the youngest man she's ever going to be with. She'll be left with the old guys without enough money to get a younger model. She doesn't think that's a great life to look forward to.

The sad part of this? Some young woman out there is going to take this woman's advice and miss out on a great relationship and become a biatch because of it. Who will get the blame? the guy.

bradkanus: On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember - it's the people. This biatch deserves neither.

I don't think I have ever done this to one of your posts before but THIS.

I can't remember the last time I honestly applied this word to a woman in anything other than jest, by my God...what a f*cking c*nt.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Or, as my wife says, you can either be happy all the time or right all the time. You can never be both.

Best piece of advice that anyone gave me before I got married: Pick. Your. Battles.

bradkanus: A very good point that my wife just made to me via emai. She was quite candid when she wrote that if I made a great living and kept in mild shape I could have pretty 30 year-old women well into my 60's. No matter what she does, I'm the youngest man she's ever going to be with. She'll be left with the old guys without enough money to get a younger model. She doesn't think that's a great life to look forward to.

Well, I ignore the statistics and just take it as a fact that my wife and I will be together until one of us croaks. I gotta figure myself and all my problems is still a better deal than her being stuck with some old guy 20 years her senior.

The sad part of this? Some young woman out there is going to take this woman's advice and miss out on a great relationship and become a biatch because of it. Who will get the blame? the guy.

The saddest part of this is that there is no 'affirmative action' that can fix this. Men appear biologically driven toward seeking mates that are reproductively healthy; women seek mates that can provide for their safety and comfort. Younger women will accept an older guy if other conditions are met; with few exceptions, younger men, while certainly enjoying their company once in a while, will rarely settle with a much older woman. It's unfair, but so is much of life and it's almost impossible to change that kind of instinctive biology.

There's actually a great deal of truth to that mountain of fluff and self-importance.

Yes, marriage is outdated and possibly even dangerous. That is, if you have a utilitarian - almost mercenary - approach to human relationships, lack the ability to empathize with others, and believe that every horrible thing you do to the people you love most is ultimately their fault, then marriage should not be a life option.

If it means that anyone who remotely sympathizes with the author thinks twice before afflicting some poor schmuck with a lifetime of misery and self-loathing - then I'm all for promoting the hell out of this article.

God damn that's unreadable!

. I can pick up our girls from school every day; I can feed them dinner and kiss their noses and tell them stories; I can take them to their doctor and dentist appointments; I can earn my half - sometimes more - of the money; I can pay the bills; I can refinance the house at the best possible interest rate; I can drive my husband to the airport; in his absence, I can sort his mail; I can be home to let the plumber in on Thursday between nine and three, and I can wait for the cable guy; I can make dinner conversation with any family member; I can ask friendly questions about anybody's day; I can administer hugs as needed to children, adults, dogs, cats; I can empty the litter box; I can stir wet food into dry.

WTF? Are there no copy editors anymore?

Yeah, we get your fuking point. You can do things. List a couple and move on already!

. I can pick up our girls from school every day; I can feed them dinner and kiss their noses and tell them stories; I can take them to their doctor and dentist appointments; I can earn my half - sometimes more - of the money; I can pay the bills; I can refinance the house at the best possible interest rate; I can drive my husband to the airport; in his absence, I can sort his mail; I can be home to let the plumber in on Thursday between nine and three, and I can wait for the cable guy; I can make dinner conversation with any family member; I can ask friendly questions about anybody's day; I can administer hugs as needed to children, adults, dogs, cats; I can empty the litter box; I can stir wet food into dry.

Hope you're good with a vibrator, lady, cause that's the only lasting relationship I see you having in your future.

bradkanus: On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember

That really depends if you're involved in the best sex you've had on your death bed.

I know that this woman's writing will be hammered repeatedly throughout this thread, but I have to say one thing.

I only made it through that article by skipping entire paragraphs. When a person can do that to your expository writing, and still follow the article, it's time to cut that sh*t down.

You know what though? I'm not going to lay that at the feet of her copy editor. She was a total beast to the man who loves her most in the world, for not giving her enough reasons not to get boned by other men and bail out on their marriage. I can't even imagine what would happen to the poor bastard who tried paring her verbiage down.

bradkanus: A very good point that my wife just made to me via emai. She was quite candid when she wrote that if I made a great living and kept in mild shape I could have pretty 30 year-old women well into my 60's. No matter what she does, I'm the youngest man she's ever going to be with. She'll be left with the old guys without enough money to get a younger model. She doesn't think that's a great life to look forward to.

Oh, and if your wife can have candid conversations like that with you on email, she's a keeper. I've enjoyed your writings in this thread, thanks.

EvilEgg: bradkanus: On your death bed it's not the best sex you had that you remember

That really depends if you're involved in the best sex you've had on your death bed.


Or if you have Alzheimer's.

This is worse than reading the Tom Bombadil section in LOTR...

This is a baby boomer who loved Heinlein, isn't it?

I'd rather listen to a Tourette's patient read the complete works of Jane Austen aloud than slog through another article like this.

The Cliff Notes version:
"My marriage was an ennui-ridden train wreck filled with resentment & daddy issues. Ergo, the entire institution of marriage is flawed."

unlikely: This is a baby boomer who loved Heinlein, isn't it?

Au, contraire - Heinlein would have told her to stop being a biatch and take care of her man and family instead of playing "poor me" all the time.

StandsWithAFist: "My marriage was an ennui-ridden train wreck filled with resentment & daddy issues. Ergo, the entire institution of marriage is flawed."

I need to use the work 'ennui' more often in general conversation.

What a stupid biatch.

Umm, if they were together for 20years, and they were good to each other, fostered great relationships in and out of the family, raised kids.. etc..
Then I'd say their marriage was successful. Who defines a successful marriage as one that ends when a partner dies? That's bs..

You played for the same team for 20 years.. that's a hell of a track record. Congrats.. now go get some new ass

Playerslight: bradkanus: A very good point that my wife just made to me via emai. She was quite candid when she wrote that if I made a great living and kept in mild shape I could have pretty 30 year-old women well into my 60's. No matter what she does, I'm the youngest man she's ever going to be with. She'll be left with the old guys without enough money to get a younger model. She doesn't think that's a great life to look forward to.

Oh, and if your wife can have candid conversations like that with you on email, she's a keeper. I've enjoyed your writings in this thread, thanks.

Yeah, I married way over my head and am very greatful for what I have. Thanks for the kind words.

Now back to bashing the biatches! j/k

FTA: "I don't generally even enjoy men."

Well, there's part of the problem.

And yet at the end of the day - literally during a five o'clock counseling appointment, as the golden late-afternoon sunlight spilled over the wall of Balinese masks - when given the final choice by our longtime family therapist, who stands in as our shaman, mother, or priest, I realized ... no.

I'll bet that the husband has been nailing the therapist.

Shrew2u: unlikely: This is a baby boomer who loved Heinlein, isn't it?

Au, contraire - Heinlein would have told her to stop being a biatch and take care of her man and family instead of playing "poor me" all the time.

Bingo. I believe that increasing self-absorption, the idea that the needs of the individual trump all, is causing an increasing amount of harm. Yep, humans are tribal creatures, but our tribes are growing smaller and smaller, and less & less inclined to work with other tribes. The discussion this woman provides in that florid mess of an article demonstrates the symptoms of just that - and not just on her part, either.

Heinlein once described morality in a speech he gave in '73 - that description stuck with me for a very long time. We've missed the point of morality, ethics, and patriotism, and it's going to be damned hard to go back.

women are ONLY after stretch (which isn't a bad thing, girls)...

a man either has to have the equipment to stretch her vulva or has to have an already stretched out wallet

/men are equally shallow
//just in different areas

msannomalley: Just read the article. The author and her friends are a bunch of pretentious and self absorbed douchebaggettes. No wonder why her marriage failed.

I never say THIS. But in this case: THIS

St_Francis_P: msannomalley: Just read the article. The author and her friends are a bunch of pretentious and self absorbed douchebaggettes. No wonder why her marriage failed.

No doubt, but do you think she was a pleasant, well-adjusted person when he married her? It's been my observation that douchebags attract, marry, and torture each other.

Well, that way there are only two miserable married people instead of four.

As for the writing... consider that it was originally submitted to and published in The Atlantic Monthly, and thus the language is dandified to suit that publication's presumably more sophisticated readership.

Just skimming that article was enough to make me want to commit hate crimes. What a stupid, self-absorbed coont.

elev8meL8r: FTA: "I don't generally even enjoy men."

Well, there's part of the problem.

This.

"I don't generally even enjoy men"

I thin that says it all right there.