Fluffball: Funny, by human nature she should have been really attracted to a guy just like her dad, explosive temper and all. Instead she settled on a safe artsy musician and then just let things fall apart.





People who pick boyfriends like this are looking for a disposable relationship.

(Watching a former friend go through her nth 'boyfriend' since the divorce. Undiagnosed bi-polar. Total biatch. Lives in her mom's basement. She is slowly sinking her own boat and it is a trainwreck to watch.)

Admittedly, I couldn't make it through the entire article.

However, one thing I did realize is that she wasn't blaming her husband, was she?!

/what a novel concept... personal responsibility

What's worse, reading her entire article or reading this entire thread about her?

Someone should email the harlot a link to this thread. Not that it will do anything to stop her suffocating narcissism, but imagining how "shocked and appalled" she would be to read all this makes it worth it in itself, and you know she'll read every last bit of it since she herself is the main point of discussion. If there ever was a self-absorbed coont that deserved being taken down several pegs, it's this poor excuse of a woman.

You will die alone, lady.

The_Gallant_Gallstone: hockeychick: The kids are there to enhance your marriage, not take the place of it.

So if the kids don't enhance the marriage, can you divorce them instead?

Some days I wish....but seriously kids are a high priority in a relationship, but they shouldn't be the only one.

farkMcFark: What's worse, reading her entire article or reading this entire thread about her?

Depends on wether you prefer reading the rants of disgruntled yet down-to-earth farkers, or the rants of an egocentric cow trying to justify her devious actions with poor excuses, and by broadcasting it to others around the world that they will undoubtedly make the same errors she did because everybody who's normal at all is just like her.

Me? I'm going to go with the farkers.

/gruppe sechs

Reading comprehension of the average Farker: 0.

Seriously, people. Your precious social institution is failing, just as it has throughout human history. Nobody owns anyone else. Nobody ever will.

farkMcFark: What's worse, reading her entire article or reading this entire thread about her?

trying to edit her article while resting your laptop on her back so you can post to this Fark thread as you're farking her

while her husband and children watch

captain_heroic44: Reading comprehension of the average Farker: 0.

Seriously, people. Your precious social institution is failing, just as it has throughout human history.

Care to dumb it down a bit so us lowly 'average' Farkers can comprehend what you're talking about? I know this is a long shot, but is it related to the actual article / topic at hand by any chance?

Sounds like the majority of you nailed it right on the head.
I read this article aloud to my wife and we came to the same conclusion most of you did:
Pretentious self-absorbed biatch justifying her failures as a partner and mother.
Sometimes the smarter they are, the easier they smoke-screen their self-perception with rationalizations.
What a loser.

captain_heroic44: Your precious social institution is failing

When I grow up I want to be able to cast oddly inferred and pretentious aspersions upon people based upon their reactions to a ridiculously pretentious piece of piss poor journalism.

No, actually, I made that up.

captain_heroic44: Reading comprehension of the average Farker: 0.

Seriously, people. Your precious social institution is failing, just as it has throughout human history. Nobody owns anyone else. Nobody ever will.

Assuming you are talking about marriage: Then why are we still doing it after thousands of years? Or was that you being sarcastic?

Well this is what happens when people live 30 years in denial and cram themselves into monogamy when it's really not for them. Serial monogamy is just polyamory done inefficiently. We need to stop this BS and just let people who aren't wired for one person come out and not be pummeled by society for how they are.

captain_heroic44: Reading comprehension of the average Farker: 0.

Seriously, people. Your precious social institution is failing, just as it has throughout human history. Nobody owns anyone else. Nobody ever will.

Seriously, person, no one cares what a cheating whore has to say about the institute of marriage.

"married" to my wife by our choice to be together because we dig each other
/yay common law
//ceremonies are a waste of time and mean nothing

If high-revving women are sexually frustrated, let them have some sort of French arrangement where they have two men, the postfeminist model dad building shelves, cooking bouillabaisse, and ignoring them in the home, and the occasional fun-loving boyfriend the kids never see.

So essentially she wants to have the gender roles of the sixties but switched. gotcha. very 21st century

Wow, so much hate and vitriole for this woman.

And that's why I love farkers!

/happily married woman
//thinks author is a jackarse

Gldm: Well this is what happens when people live 30 years in denial and cram themselves into monogamy when it's really not for them. Serial monogamy is just polyamory done inefficiently. We need to stop this BS and just let people who aren't wired for one person come out and not be pummeled by society for how they are.

You've missed a VERY important little bit of information:

I will slam the author for being the useless cheating idiot whore that she is.

But a person choosing to have multiple partners and is HONEST with all those involved about it gets nothing but applause from me. Good for them!

Same goes for transexuals, homosexuals and those that abstain from sex completely cuz it's yucky.

What's the difference? The author wasn't honest. With anyone involved. Had she been a worthwhile human being, she would have calmly explained to her husband that she wasn't happy and knew she wouldn't be until they were divorced.

Now do you get the difference?

Have sex however you want with whoever you want (consenting adults, blah, blah, blah) and all is well as long as you're honest from the start.

To do otherwise means you're a worthless human being and the world would be better off if you killed yourself.

RedT: TheFredSavages:
Firstly, she says they haven't slept together in 2 years; he says she "too fat" so he hasn't given her the pickle tickle.

that's ****ed up. If it was a woman, all y'all would be on the guy's side for wanting to leave (as would I). In this case, I'm on her side. Let's re-examine that:

NO SEX FOR 2 YEARS!



I call bu11shiat on her no sex claim.

She must be REALLLLLLLY fat or otherwise gross (sloppy and inattentive can mean a lot of things). No man is going solo for two years unless his begging horny wife looks like Jabba The Hut.

Who said he was going solo?

chaoswolf: Gldm: Well this is what happens when people live 30 years in denial and cram themselves into monogamy when it's really not for them. Serial monogamy is just polyamory done inefficiently. We need to stop this BS and just let people who aren't wired for one person come out and not be pummeled by society for how they are.

You've missed a VERY important little bit of information:

I will slam the author for being the useless cheating idiot whore that she is.

But a person choosing to have multiple partners and is HONEST with all those involved about it gets nothing but applause from me. Good for them!

Same goes for transexuals, homosexuals and those that abstain from sex completely cuz it's yucky.

What's the difference? The author wasn't honest. With anyone involved. Had she been a worthwhile human being, she would have calmly explained to her husband that she wasn't happy and knew she wouldn't be until they were divorced.

Now do you get the difference?

Have sex however you want with whoever you want (consenting adults, blah, blah, blah) and all is well as long as you're honest from the start.

To do otherwise means you're a worthless human being and the world would be better off if you killed yourself.


Oh I didn't miss that, I wasn't excusing what she did. If anything I'm sure she's been the first one to get all high and mighty about the sanctity of marriage whenever anyone discusses cheating or divorce or openness (which she says was "too icky for people" in the article).

My point is this is what happens when people get beaten down into believing they have no choice but to cram themselves into a box that doesn't fit. They convince themselves harder than the people who it fits like a glove. Then they sit there until they slip up, get too tempted, or just get old enough to say "fark this I've ruined my life!"

If she wasn't so pressured into the mold maybe she could have been honest and set up a life where everyone involved would be happy. But in general every time someone tries that they get called a filthy whore or a player or immature or afraid of commitment. Doesn't matter if you're male or female.

These days if you're gay or bi oh that's cool just don't hit on the wrong people. But god forbid you want more than "your fair share", the first people to light torches will be the ones preaching tolerance in the other cases, in my personal experience.

lindseyp: RedT: TheFredSavages:

I call bu11shiat on her no sex claim.

She must be REALLLLLLLY fat or otherwise gross (sloppy and inattentive can mean a lot of things). No man is going solo for two years unless his begging horny wife looks like Jabba The Hut.

Who said he was going solo?

Wasn't that the guy who did all the "amazing cooking" and such? Yeah I probably saw him on craigslist last weekend as one of those "Bi MWM must be discrete" posts.

FTA:
Just because we know that nearly half of U.S. marriages end in divorce ... doesn't mean we aren't confident ours is the one that will beat the odds.

If less than half of US marriages end in divorce, then the odds are that you'll remain married. A divorce would mean beating the odds.

Gldm: These days if you're gay or bi oh that's cool just don't hit on the wrong people. But god forbid you want more than "your fair share", the first people to light torches will be the ones preaching tolerance in the other cases, in my personal experience.

I certainly can't deny that most people are morons. It is why I'm such a bitter person after all.

So yea, I see what you're saying. Most people don't applaud honesty and belittle lying enough.

I would like to point out a bright side of this article. We all have encountered people on the internet who can barely breathe, much less compose a complete sentence. This woman, she is on the opposite spectrum....she knows her shift+f7 and uses it! It actually has been a useful learning experience for me.


Now on the more serious side: Everyone always talks about horrible marriage is. Some people honestly mean it, a lot of people just joke about it, but jokes are based on truth. I want to listen to people with experience, so I don't have to repeat their mistakes, so please guide this poor 21 yo and answer me this: Are you all serious when you say don't get married?

I just...I don't know if I'd be able to say no to marriage when I'm dating a girl who I consider the one. At the beginning romantic phase, where it seems like this is true love, how am I supposed to tell myself and her that I won't marry her. It seems like a catch 22...I know I'm headed down a dark path, but there's no way to stave it off..

chaoswolf: Gldm: These days if you're gay or bi oh that's cool just don't hit on the wrong people. But god forbid you want more than "your fair share", the first people to light torches will be the ones preaching tolerance in the other cases, in my personal experience.

I certainly can't deny that most people are morons. It is why I'm such a bitter person after all.

So yea, I see what you're saying. Most people don't applaud honesty and belittle lying enough.


I think it's more that too many people just go along with the idea that "everyone is this way" and if they feel any different "well something's wrong with me I'll grow out of it". Obviously that didn't work for the GLBT population. Personally I see mono/poly as the same scenario, either you're predisposed to be happy one way or the other. It's just nobody's standing up for one side. I personally just can't stand the idea of owning another person, and I sure as hell won't be owned. If other people want the fairytale that's cool and I respect that, but who respects the other side? Where are the role models for people to look at and realize they don't have to fight themselves every day to be "normal"?

We need to stop pressuring people to be what they're not. Kinda like how if you're not jumping out of bed all bright and perky at 6am to go for a jog and to eat a well balanced breakfast before leaving with time to spare for commute to your swell job, you're just a lazy fark who needs to grow up and deal with the real world. It can't possibly be that some people might work better at night and that we should consider more flexible systems rather than cripple their productivity while making their daily life miserable.


All it ever does is make people lie (in the worst case to themselves) and then ruin someone else's life when their true nature comes out. I refuse to lie anymore. That doesn't excuse what this woman did, but somehow I doubt she would have gone for the whole "ok well you can never have anyone else again ever" option if there was another out there that didn't make her an outcast. Then maybe her family would have been spared a bit, though I doubt even an entire harem could de-biatchify her writing.

Gameshot911: Are you all serious when you say don't get married?


Some bitter men and more than a few narcissists really mean it. If you really want to then you should.

It might fark up and scar you for life, but so would wondering what would have happened if you hadn't done it.

One thing's for sure - five or ten years down the road it takes a lot more work to keep it going than it did at the start. People who don't bother tend to get divorced.

Gameshot911: Are you all serious when you say don't get married?

My wife and I are not "married" in many eyes because we have not been to some religious leader so that he can put some god's blessing on our union. We're both atheist, so it would be meaningless to do so.

Others say we aren't married because we haven't even been to a justice of the peace to be legally married. But we did get a common law affidavit notarized so that she could get on my insurance.

We file our taxes as single.

So... are we married? In my mind, yes.

Is it worth it? For me, absolutely. I was a very bad boy for a very long time. If I hadn't settled down when I did, I'd probably be dead by now. She was WORTH settling down for. I knew I'd never get her deeper into my life if I Didn't calm the fark down.

Win/Win situation for me. She was my friend for a decade before we got romantic. She watched me be a self-destructive slut for all that time and kept her distance until chance and circumstance put us in a position where we were both mentally ready to be in a solid relationship with each other.

So... are many folks serious when they say don't get married? I'm sure are. They probably chose poorly in the first place. I didn't.

Gldm: All it ever does is make people lie (in the worst case to themselves) and then ruin someone else's life when their true nature comes out. I refuse to lie anymore. That doesn't excuse what this woman did, but somehow I doubt she would have gone for the whole "ok well you can never have anyone else again ever" option if there was another out there that didn't make her an outcast. Then maybe her family would have been spared a bit, though I doubt even an entire harem could de-biatchify her writing.

You confuse me. You state the wonderful and admirable "I refuse to lie anymore" but follow it up by blaming society for her being a weak, worthless whore.

It makes no sense.

People, while being honest and good, should ALSO ignore the fark out of what society thinks.

Society is farking stupid and should NOT be listened to. (For the most part.)

Gameshot911:
Now on the more serious side: Everyone always talks about horrible marriage is. Some people honestly mean it, a lot of people just joke about it, but jokes are based on truth. I want to listen to people with experience, so I don't have to repeat their mistakes, so please guide this poor 21 yo and answer me this: Are you all serious when you say don't get married?

I just...I don't know if I'd be able to say no to marriage when I'm dating a girl who I consider the one. At the beginning romantic phase, where it seems like this is true love, how am I supposed to tell myself and her that I won't marry her. It seems like a catch 22...I know I'm headed down a dark path, but there's no way to stave it off..

Do what makes you happy. Just make sure you know what you want before you go after it. That's the #1 rule. Not this communication BS, that's #2. If you don't know what you want, how can you communicate it? This is where a lot of relationships fail, one side knows what they want but doesn't communicate, and the other side is communicating non-stop but has no clue what they want. So if you really want marriage, go get it! Don't let some farkers on a website tell you what to do, that's stupid. They don't know you.

I'm married. Coming up on 4 years on Tuesday. I never planned it, it turned out to be a really sudden thing that was just the right option at the time. I've never regretted it, and I would do it again right now without hesitation. If you're one of those people who doesn't see the point and doesn't have a need for someone else to validate your relationship, don't get married. If it's something that means something to you and the other person, then do it if it makes you happier.


I may have to stop refreshing and head to bed soon. Tomorrow's going to be a long day, 3some with a couple I've been seeing lately. Then I've gotta finish picking out an anniversary present.

chaoswolf:

You confuse me. You state the wonderful and admirable "I refuse to lie anymore" but follow it up by blaming society for her being a weak, worthless whore.

It makes no sense.

People, while being honest and good, should ALSO ignore the fark out of what society thinks.

Society is farking stupid and should NOT be listened to. (For the most part.)


The blame is split.

On one hand, society sucks for trying to cram everyone into the cookie cutter and hide all the other options, and that's unfair to people as it sets them up for failure.

On the other hand, she should just man up (if she could possibly do that anymore and not grow a penis) and say she was unhappy and let people know what she was going to do about it, but before farking around.

Yeah society sucks, and should be ignored when possible. But even when you realize hey your life's a lie, at least have the courtesy to let the other people involved in it know you're changing direction rather than just drag them into a mess. Being tricked or pressured into the wrong lifestyle is sad. But not even having the respect to tell people who depend on you what's going on is just cowardly and pathetic.

The only thing worse than bad news is bad news that's been allowed to fester.

Gldm: Well this is what happens when people live 30 years in denial and cram themselves into monogamy when it's really not for them. Serial monogamy is just polyamory done inefficiently. We need to stop this BS and just let people who aren't wired for one person come out and not be pummeled by society for how they are.

No one is "wired" to be monogamous. Pre-historic Homo sapiens were not monogamous. Monogamy is unnatural. So is clothing, modern medicine, farming, yet we choose to embrace these unnatural things because of their benefit to society.

There may be a minority of people who simply cannot be happy in a monogamous relationship, but I posit that most aren't "wired" to be polygamous any more than everyone is, they're just immature little shiatheads like the woman in the article. They need to realize that like everything else in life, monogamy has pros and cons. It has benefits, and requires sacrifices. Yes, you have to give up having romantic and sexual relationships with other people. Just like someone who wants to stay at a healthy weight needs to give up eating nothing but junk food.

Instead of rationalizing their lifestyle by claiming that they were "wired" to be polygamous, they need to grow up and actually consider the possibility that most people choose monogamy in spite of being naturally polygamous because all in all, when done right (that is, by mature adults who enter marriage with a realistic understanding of what they are gaining and what they are giving up, instead of silly Twilight-like romantic fantasies), the benefit of stability outweighs the sacrifice of variety.

Ah, the modern world.

So fraught with endless options choices and excuses that we need to bang out insufferable, bloated screeds that outline our dissatisfaction with having all of these endless, self-indulgent options FOISTED off upon us as we try on other people's feelings like so much ratty clothing.

Wah.

Grow the f*ck up and see if you can get some semblance of a personal life without pissing in other people's punch and I think the problem will take care of itself.

Somebody, a poet, I think, once wrote that "A woman may be many things, but she is never ridiculous".

So much for poetry.

Not only is this not news, you can't even eat popcorn to it.

tricycleracer: Or best of all, after the breast-feeding and toddler years are through, let those nurturing superdads be the custodial parents! Let the Type A moms obsessively work, write checks, and forget to feed the dog. Let the dads then, if they wish, kick out those sloppy working mothers and run effective households, hiring the appropriate staff, if need be. To a certain extent, men today may have more clarity about what it takes to raise children in the modern age. They don't, for instance, have today's working mother's ambivalence and emotional stickiness.

Yes, because this country has become a masculine wasteland, amirite?

There are literally no career-oriented men left. Men have been completed domesticated, devoid of all feral tendencies. We just want to raise children and cook overly-complex French cuisine.

Conversely, the women of this nation want nothing more than to work 60 hours a week, procreate, briefly nurse, then abandon their children and return to the office.

She's really got our number, society. We should pay attention to this grand visionary.

Shhh, she's describing the feminist utopia. Let's all evesdrop. Might as well know what we're in for.

My husband's grandparents were married for 64 1/2 years before his grandfather died. Don't even begin to tell me that life long marriage is "obsolete" just because our life expectancy is longer. That's ridiculous.

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. And, if you are so attracted to someone else that you want to sleep with them tell your spouse you want out BEFORE something "just happens". It's called honesty and self control, people, figure it out.

theoriginalslash:
BTW, I love all the "her husband will be banging cheerleaders" comments. Right. Unless he's Donald Trump rich, he'll be banging 30-somethings (maybe), not 20-somethings.

Dude, he's a musician. Musicians don't have to be rich, just marginally decent looking, to get chicks.

chicagorefugee: Dude, he's a musician. Musicians don't have to be rich, just marginally decent looking, to get chicks.

You know, that's true, actually.

/musician

re: It's called honesty and self control, people, figure it out.

if it comes down to "self control", the existing relationship is doomed. figure it out.

Oh, the poor little vyctym.

Men, listen to me. When you're in your late thirties or early forties and get the itch. Go for it. Don't puss out and say no to a few really hot, and readily available chances for some incredible sex and more. When you decide to pass on it out of faithfulness to your wife, remember that when she gets about the same age as this author, she won't think twice about finding some on the side. My ex had five different guys over a six month period when I was working nights on Friday and Saturday nights. She was 48 at the time. She had no regrets or remorse even after threatening me for 15 years that if I ever cheated on her...

/Double standards FTL

Slick Johnson: Men, listen to me. When you're in your late thirties or early forties and get the itch. Go for it. Don't puss out and say no to a few really hot, and readily available chances for some incredible sex and more. When you decide to pass on it out of faithfulness to your wife, remember that when she gets about the same age as this author, she won't think twice about finding some on the side. My ex had five different guys over a six month period when I was working nights on Friday and Saturday nights. She was 48 at the time. She had no regrets or remorse even after threatening me for 15 years that if I ever cheated on her...

/Double standards FTL

2/10. Started out promising but then it just sort of imploded with stupid.

My wife cheated on me with several men (some of them married) so Im getting a kick out of some of these replies.

/Not bitter...at least the test results came back negative.

pnjunction

I highly suspect 'Ian' is gay.

Not neccesarily, let's examine the facts FTFA:

"Ian - he's the perfect father! The perfect husband! Look at this ... kitchen!"

No gay here - many people of all orientations cook, it's a cornerstone human behaviour, and if it's his hobby, what could be more manly than a self-designed DIY kitchen in which to practice that hobby?

"Ian won't have sex with me," Rachel says flatly. "He has not touched my body in two years. He says it's because I've gained weight."

Well, that's not straight behaviour per se, but maybe she gained like, a lot of weight. Maybe Ian can't find her pussy even when he rolls her in all the semolina flour in his tuscan kitchen. No for-sure gay here.

"Ian has his Cook's Illustrated," Rachel adds. "And his - his men's online fennel club."

I googled this, and the only hits were likes & quotes from this article. Clearly she made this up to protect him from identification. Also to make fun of him; I would bet a years' wages and my right nut that whatever Ian belongs to, it's less ridiculous than a fennel club. So nope, still not teh gaye.

"The list of violations unfurls. Last week, Rachel mistakenly gave the wrong medication to the dog, a mistake Ian would never make. She also forgot to deglaze the saucepan..."

Ah. Well, I guess we can't be right about everything; given this statement, this is how gay Ian is:




For the record, that would be rainbow-crapping-unicorn gay.

markcant: Turns out there can be only one man in the house, contrary to what the Women's Movement might have taught you. The other factor that's common to all these unhappy women is...children. I can't tell you how many parents I've talked to confide in me that they wish they hadn't had any. And those friends of mine whose marriages are on the rocks share that sentiment. If that sounds harsh, it's the truth. With both couples working and the huge demand that children put on time and resources, it's amazing any marriages with offspring survive.

It's not that children are the cause of divorce, is that today we tend to put children ahead of the marriage. And that's a surefire way to find yourself single.

Hmm. My son was the only decent thing to come out of my marriage. No regrets at all.

So very late to the party, but I wanted to point out this:

From TFA:
"Ian won't have sex with me," Rachel says flatly. "He has not touched my body in two years. He says it's because I've gained weight." Again, we stoutly protest, but she goes on.
. . .
Rachel sees herself as a failed mother, and is depressed and chronically overworked at her $120,000-a-year job (which she must cling to for the benefits because Ian freelances). At night, horny and sleepless, she paces the exquisite kitchen, gobbling mini Dove bars.

I'm thinking Ian's got a point here.

Oh, and maybe if she gobbled his cock instead of the midi Dove bars once in a while, he'd be more apt to return the favor.

I cheated on my husband and destroyed my marriage. Obviously the problem is that I didn't have enough husbands, and a community of women to communally care for my children

No, the problem is that you're not too bright, you're pretentious as piss in a Perrier bottle, you can't keep your legs closed and you wear your ever widening ass for a hat.

Oddly, the cure for that is not strange dick, Dove bars and churning out twaddle behind a word processor.

Goodnight, ridiculous, screedy girl.