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(TC Palm) Florida Although chasing your girlfriend around with a machete while drinking a cold Keystone Ice may seem perfectly reasonable to you, it's still against the law. Even in Florida   (tcpalm.com) divider line 68
More: Florida  
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Confabulat [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:56:54 PM  
Keystone Ice? I don't think so.

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 02:15:16 PM  
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5
(copy and paste)

 
beerrun [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:33:32 PM  
unrealitymag.com
When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife machete and a hard-on keystone light, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:38:02 PM  
Statements in the report alternately refer to the weapon as a machete, a knife and a "machete knife."

Well, that clears things up.

 
Sybarite [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:59:03 PM  
www.rowthree.com

 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:10:20 PM  
Keystone...smooth, even when you aren't.

 
unicron702 2009-07-02 03:31:35 PM  
If my SO was chasing me around with a Keystone Ice and a machete, I'd be more worried they were going to make me drink it, not the impending blade wounds.

Stuff is so horrible, and it never gets better no matter how many you drink, or how many good beers you drink first.

 
Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:31:37 PM  
It's not as illegal as what happens when ya catch up to them usually..

 
T-Luv 2009-07-02 03:31:52 PM  
This isn't news

 
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben 2009-07-02 03:32:22 PM  
gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!

 
plecos [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:33:05 PM  
www.mannythemovieguy.com

approves

 
CrankMyBlueSax 2009-07-02 03:34:57 PM  
Ain't that one of them thar illegalalienable rights? Persoot of happyness or something?

 
biggieroth 2009-07-02 03:35:00 PM  
+1+1+1 subby

 
Cat Food Sandwiches 2009-07-02 03:35:09 PM  
Dewey Cox unavailable for comment.

 
PJ_the_Barbarian 2009-07-02 03:35:19 PM  
Isn't this a better case for "while" than for "although?"

 
dstanley 2009-07-02 03:36:10 PM  
So it's the poor choice in malted beverages that's the problem?

 
Makh [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:36:39 PM  
Keystone Ice? Surely, this man is insane.

 
Spanky_McFarksalot 2009-07-02 03:36:48 PM  
The man tryin to keep us down.

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 03:37:19 PM  
In other news, a sea lion commandeered a boat from the LAPD.
Link

 
PJ_the_Barbarian 2009-07-02 03:37:27 PM  
dstanley: So it's the poor choice in malted beverages that's the problem?

well, if it had been a PBR and the machete wielder had a scraggly beard and thick-rimmed glasses, the cops could have assumed he was only doing it "ironically"

 
BlorfMaster 2009-07-02 03:37:48 PM  
Im gunna side with the guy on this one.

Ho spent all her money, and then wanted his. When he would not give her any she started mouthing off. Got what she deserved. And having to put up with women is thirsty business.

 
johnny_stingray 2009-07-02 03:37:56 PM  
I don't always drink beer when chasing muchachas with a machete, but when I do, I prefer 'Dos Equiis'.

Stay thirsty, my friends.

 
karmaceutical 2009-07-02 03:38:30 PM  
This is an example of more nanny state nonsense. This is nothing more than government trying to criminalize a richly historic and culturally relevant activity of the southern man. The only reason this activity is illegal is because some liberal tripped while partaking and got a cut on his thumb. No one ever gets injured in these games that didn't have it coming.

 
EggFool [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:38:32 PM  
I think the whole story was fabricated by the makers of "that beer". I will not mention their name in order to avoid furthering their shameless publicity stunt. Really, when is the last time they put the brand name in a drunk guy story?

 
stockbroker2003 2009-07-02 03:39:36 PM  
So much for my weekend plans!

 
schattenteufel [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:41:18 PM  
"it's against the law"

Law?!
Law is a human institution.
farm3.static.flickr.com

 
dstanley 2009-07-02 03:41:59 PM  
PJ_the_Barbarian: well, if it had been a PBR

Weird, that's what I was gonna suggest he should have been drinking.

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-07-02 03:42:01 PM  
Talk about an Unsmooth MomentTM!

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 03:42:34 PM  
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!


Where does Kevin Bacon come into this?

 
maudibjr 2009-07-02 03:44:03 PM  
Are you sure thats not legal.

 
fatal_exception 2009-07-02 03:45:19 PM  
So what, we have to phone our role-play into the cops ahead of time now?

 
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben 2009-07-02 03:45:54 PM  
gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!

Where does Kevin Bacon come into this?


He's still in bed. He's dead tired.

 
Krymson Tyde 2009-07-02 03:46:19 PM  
It's still legal in Georgia though, right?

 
because good is dumb [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:47:21 PM  
So I've been doing it wrong this whole time??

 
Bhasayate [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:48:12 PM  
Oh what's a little fun and games as long as no one gets stabbed.

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 03:48:54 PM  
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!

Where does Kevin Bacon come into this?

He's still in bed. He's dead tired.


Kevin Bacon died too?

 
msheda 2009-07-02 03:49:05 PM  
maudibjr: Are you sure thats not legal.

Depends on how far from the trailer the chase went.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:50:40 PM  
Could've been worse. Could've been Cisco.

 
Pair-o-Dice 2009-07-02 03:51:21 PM  
Makh:
Keystone Ice? Surely, this man is insane.

Clearly he's unstable.

 
Alleyoop 2009-07-02 03:52:43 PM  
because good is dumb: So I've been doing it wrong this whole time??

Yep, you're supposed to chase her with a club.

docs.google.com

/where'd you think the term "go clubbing" came from?
//the more you learn

 
sab6300 2009-07-02 03:53:01 PM  
johnny_stingray: I don't always drink beer when chasing muchachas with a machete, but when I do, I prefer 'Dos Equiis'.

Stay thirsty, my friends.


+3 lol

 
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben 2009-07-02 03:53:51 PM  
gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!

Where does Kevin Bacon come into this?

He's still in bed. He's dead tired.

Kevin Bacon died too?


He and Jeff Goldblum bludgeoned Karl Malden to death and then went off to fulfill their suicide pact in New Zealand. It was all very sordid and sad.

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 03:55:08 PM  
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!

Where does Kevin Bacon come into this?

He's still in bed. He's dead tired.

Kevin Bacon died too?

He and Jeff Goldblum bludgeoned Karl Malden to death and then went off to fulfill their suicide pact in New Zealand. It was all very sordid and sad.


I thought Jeff Goldblum was watching me poop.

 
Jack_Kass 2009-07-02 03:57:06 PM  
Keystone ice was the sole culprit for a number of illegal activities on my spring break....

well that and Tanqueray.

 
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben 2009-07-02 03:58:06 PM  
gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/kou7o5

Interestingly enough, in Keystone Heights, FL, there is a summer camp called Camp Crystal located on Crystal Lake.

Spoooooooky!

Where does Kevin Bacon come into this?

He's still in bed. He's dead tired.

Kevin Bacon died too?

He and Jeff Goldblum bludgeoned Karl Malden to death and then went off to fulfill their suicide pact in New Zealand. It was all very sordid and sad.

I thought Jeff Goldblum was watching me poop.


Jeff Goldblum is watching Jesus poop in Heaven, now. (and it's freaking Jesus out a little)

 
CuteAsFark 2009-07-02 03:59:25 PM  
What has this country come to that a drunk man can not run around naked with a weapon?

/She probably deserved it.

 
suraimu 2009-07-02 04:02:52 PM  
This is why those people at the BBC were freaking out about that kid buying a machete. Next he'll buy some Keystone Ice, and then look out.

 
Rann Xerox 2009-07-02 04:05:09 PM  
johnny_stingray: I don't always drink beer when chasing muchachas with a machete, but when I do, I prefer 'Dos Equiis'.

Stay thirsty, my friends.


*GOLF CLAP*

 
Paragraph 2009-07-02 04:07:07 PM  
So wait, if it was Natty Ice would that be ok? I'm confused here cause you just described my afternoon to me.

 
bruce4bruce 2009-07-02 04:16:21 PM  
I don't think it taste bad. I drink just abouyt anything except coors and miller lite. I had an Old English 800 high gravity the other day. My brother took a sip and almost lost it.

 
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