heh.

on page two of the report, the cop asked him how many drinks the driver had. guess the answer. (it's how many they all say they had)

And you know... you just *KNOW* that Princess Wal-Mart has at least one idiot-spawn at home.

While this is only tangentially related to the story in question it brings up an issue that has been vexing me for some time.

Why the hell don't urban centers in the States have an adequate supply of reasonably priced love motels? I've thought of opening them up myself but imagine keeping good housekeeping help would be an issue.

I'd drive it.

["Pole Position" joke goes here]

Boy, he's screwed.

Well, they were not practicing safe sex.

no seat belt.

Ooo... bad linebreak...

Who among us has never had sex in a car in a public place?

Wait, what?

/obligatory.

I'll sponsor them both for a month of TF if they out themselves.

That's a rough looking 21 year old.

TheOther: I'll sponsor them both for a month of TF if they out themselves.

She does have a certain Farkette look to her I suppose.

That's photo "goodness"?

///runs away

"We're all going to Dallas! We're all going to Dallas!"

Dear Hustler, you're never going to believe this...

I'm amazed the guy didn't get crushed to death.

I hate how you can't block TSG's ads on the right without blocking the whole site practically.

I think the question we're all dying to ask is: manual or automatic?

I always wondered if dudes with fetal alcohol syndrome ever get lucky. Now I know.

It's nice when you don't have to drive to the police station to have a mugshot taken.

I bet he got some Otter Tail

albo: on page two of the report, the cop asked him how many drinks the driver had. guess the answer. (it's how many they all say they had)

Damn. My guess was "just one beer..."

Where's that famous Myspace photo of the REALLY fat girl with the small head wearing those same sunglasses. GIS failed me..

MaxxLarge: ["Pole Position" joke goes here]

Prepare to Qualify.

I'd hit but I'd hit that dwarf woman from Silverado.

That guy's beard is great for scrubbing pots and pans.

photo goodness

"Johnson's photo, snapped in a car, is from an online profile in which her interests are said to include, "Having good times!!PartyIN-Dancing-& just loVin liFe**:)."

Read the capitalized letters; I think it's a code. Either that or she's stupid.

I would rather remove my left nut with safety scissors than hit that.

she looks like she could suck a golf ball thru a 50 ft garden hose

That would be a fun story to explain to the kids.

"Mommy, how was I made?"

"Well, uh you were made in the driver's seat of a moving car."

"The car you're giving me on my 16th birthday?"

"Yes."

FTFA:
Transported Matthew to the Otter Tail County Detention Facility


Enough said, right there.

I've never been caught (knock on wood...), but I've taken down a university parking lot and a scenic riverwalk across from downtown already. The act was good, but i was nervous most of the time about 5-0 catching us while I was balls deep.

The Drunk IT Guy: Where's that famous Myspace photo of the REALLY fat girl with the small head wearing those same sunglasses. GIS failed me..

She looks like Melissa Joan Hart.

Johnson's photo, snapped in a car, is from an online profile in which her interests are said to include, "Having good times!!PartyIN-Dancing-& just loVin liFe**:)."

Oh ouch. If they don't get your hideous mug shot (which may or may not be recognizable as you) SG is gonna find your facebook/myspace/whatever and slap up a picture that all your friends know/immediately recognize

Nice.

Do you know how to drive a stick shift? I don't think you bounce up and down vigorously to change gears--do you?

Maybe he was to cheap to put in some hydraulics and she was helping him bounce the car, you know to impress people.

Driving While farking.

What a title.

Well, he's the man. But she's a slut.

I'd say he was double-clutching.

I like the part of the police report where they make him say the alphabet.

Isn't fergus falls rocky and bullwinkles home town?

Badgers: That's a rough looking 21 year old.

Yes it is. Cocaine and meth are some crazy drugs.

/maybe not meth, she looks kinda curvy

vertiaset: Badgers

The Drunk IT Guy: Where's that famous Myspace photo of the REALLY fat girl with the small head wearing those same sunglasses. GIS failed me..


I always thought that girl was pretty. Can you imagine how awesome she would be if she lost 140 lbs or so?

FTFY

beerrun

She does have a certain Farkette look to her I suppose.

It was the double chin that gave it away.

vertiaset: I always thought that girl was pretty. Can you imagine how awesome she would be if she lost 40 lbs or so?

Look again, it would have to be closer to 100.

vertiaset: Badgers

The Drunk IT Guy: Where's that famous Myspace photo of the REALLY fat girl with the small head wearing those same sunglasses. GIS failed me..


I always thought that girl was pretty. Can you imagine how awesome she would be if she lost 400 lbs or so?

FTFY

Hooray for meth!