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(Aint-It-Cool-News) Stupid Hollywood scrapes the bottom of the barrel and comes away with "Asteroids: The Movie." PEW, PEW, PEW   (aintitcool.com) divider line 228
More: Stupid  
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10336 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2009 at 11:32 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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OnmyojiOmn 2009-07-02 12:23:44 PM  
TheShavingofOccam123: Jessica Alba is slated to play the buttons

I'd mash it and somehow still win, making everyone else in the room stabby.

 
literaldeluxe 2009-07-02 12:23:52 PM  
Farkwaddle: StarCraft? A little newer than the 80's games, but still might make a movie. Assuming that the movie wouldn't be centered around a player who turtles.

It was called Starship Troopers.

Or, if you want three races, Alien vs. Predator.

 
Death_Poot 2009-07-02 12:24:03 PM  
oops, movie

/preview is my friend

 
Pxtl 2009-07-02 12:24:36 PM  
kungfu jesus with a side of lime: It could have Bay as the director and things could blow up... I think that would ROCK...

/i dont like his work


There are lots of games more up to his strengths. Like Bomberman, or Missile Command, or Scorched Earth.

 
optional 2009-07-02 12:25:07 PM  
I think that a Monopoly movie, done as a period piece about real estate moguls and grifters in 1930s Atlantic City, could actually be decent.

 
teke184 2009-07-02 12:27:20 PM  
Pxtl: kungfu jesus with a side of lime: It could have Bay as the director and things could blow up... I think that would ROCK...

/i dont like his work

There are lots of games more up to his strengths. Like Bomberman, or Missile Command, or Scorched Earth.


Twisted Metal is SO up Bay's alley. It's even got a mythology to use as a basis for a film.

 
Persnickety 2009-07-02 12:29:13 PM  
Why not do Zero Wing? It's already mostly done anyway.

www.shakykaiser.com

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 12:29:37 PM  
kungfu jesus with a side of lime: It could have Bay as the director and things could blow up... I think that would ROCK...

You'd need Nicholas Cage for that. His hair is a bird, therefore, your argument is invalid.

 
Clown Taints Taste Funny 2009-07-02 12:30:23 PM  
*movie announcer voice*

"In a world where fifty two cards lived in total chaos... In a world where there was no order... In a world where four thrones sat empty... One man dared to change all that. One red queen climbed atop a black king in a passion not seen since 'Jungle Fever'. This summer, prepare yourself for the loneliest game of all.

Solitaire.

It will kick...your...ace!"

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 12:30:54 PM  
No Adventure movie? That's be great...a tiny hero with a sword five times larger than he is chasing after dragons that look like ducks.

 
RocketRay 2009-07-02 12:32:02 PM  
I wasted so many quarters on that damn game.

 
Electriclectic 2009-07-02 12:32:45 PM  
Tony Baloney: And was there anything worse than Street Fighter?

Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game was worse than Street Fighter: The Movie.

 
Pxtl 2009-07-02 12:33:37 PM  
teke184: Twisted Metal is SO up Bay's alley. It's even got a mythology to use as a basis for a film.

Oh God, it's too perfect. Assuming they'd go by TM2, he'd have Hopper, Outlaw and Twister for tits, Thumper and Hammerhead for offensive black stereotype slapstick, and an endless supply of explosions.

 
Pxtl 2009-07-02 12:35:30 PM  
optional: I think that a Monopoly movie, done as a period piece about real estate moguls and grifters in 1930s Atlantic City, could actually be decent.

The problem is that nobody would be stupid enough to do that. The name would be a boat anchor on the film - the kind of audience that would enjoy such a film would avoid something as trashy as a boardgame tie-in.

 
zimbach 2009-07-02 12:35:32 PM  
re: the Hasbro connection: I was under the impression that they had sold the Atari software back catalog along with the trademark to Infogrammes.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 12:36:00 PM  
IXI Jim IXI: No Adventure movie? That's be great...a tiny hero with a sword five times larger than he is chasing after dragons that look like ducks.

Hmmm... write up a treatment and we'll fax it over to some directors.

 
Good Behavior Day 2009-07-02 12:38:59 PM  
www.movieposter.com

What Tapper: The Movie may look like.

 
Inibrius 2009-07-02 12:39:11 PM  
teke184: I think we're going to see American McGee's Alice in one way or another... Tim Burton's version of Alice In Wonderland sure seems like it's in the same vein as the American McGee game.

I really hope so. That was such a great game.

 
Daniels 2009-07-02 12:45:38 PM  
xalres: But nope (new window), not a single one. Some I consider "drunken rental" watchable but none that I would consider good.

Which is sad because Silent HIll as a movie had potential.

 
HawgWild 2009-07-02 12:49:21 PM  
ZeroCorpse: As I say everywhere else, I CALLED THIS years ago when I posted my mini-script for ASTEROIDS: THE MOVIE starring Christopher Walken.

And when BURGER TIME: THE MOVIE hits, feel free to refer to my mini-script for that one, as well (also starring Walken as Mr. Pickle).

Now all Hollywood has to do is get Walken for Asteroids, and my ideas will be justified; My plan will be complete!


You slowly turned into this guy in my head:

www.buzzflash.com

"Something, something dark side. Something, something com-PLETE!"

Anypoo, a movie from this game could be cool:

www.gamershell.com

The director could go nuts with multiple endings ...

 
PirateKing 2009-07-02 12:50:35 PM  
One game I would like to see made into a movie would be something based on the Legacy of Kain/Soul Reaver line of games.

 
Fish! 2009-07-02 12:53:59 PM  
I'm excited about this... but then again I wear this on a daily basis:
www.likecool.com

 
eggrolls [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 12:54:09 PM  
www.addto10.com

 
Arklop 2009-07-02 12:54:16 PM  
Queen Dalek: I for one, would like to see Frogger

yourseosucks.com

www.classicarcadegaming.com

 
bilbo douchebaggins 2009-07-02 12:56:42 PM  
Ball of Confusion: bilbo douchebaggins: glad someone else remembers this one....

Ok now Im going to have the sound repeating in my head all day - the sound from the upright quarter-eater when the landers would pick up a pod...


Link (new window)

this game is way involved. more so than i remember....

 
Zmog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 12:57:19 PM  
ZeroCorpse: Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars

I'd watch that. It would be like the Da Vinci Code. But less retarded, since it doesn't take itself seriously.

 
Butterfinger 2009-07-02 01:00:47 PM  
Q&D but I think we can do it
img518.imageshack.us

 
bilbo douchebaggins 2009-07-02 01:01:26 PM  
How bout this one?

Link (new window)

 
Gairloch [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:02:37 PM  
The only video games I can think of that IMO would have potential as a movie would be Bioshock, Diablo*, Fallout, Half Life, and Warcraft*.


/*back before Blizzard started to reuse lore between their different series
//the reason it shouldn't happen is because hollywood would probably turn them all into mindless action movies filled with nothing but explosions and CG effects

 
guvnor 2009-07-02 01:04:59 PM  
Oh come on, over 125 posts and no mention of Tetris: The Movie? (new window)

 
Nightmaretony 2009-07-02 01:11:03 PM  
rikdanger: Although it's been done, can't have too many movies about running over pedestrians for points.

Too late.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072856/

Cornwell: Why has there new been a Bubble Bobble the movie? 126 minutes of runtime, with the same song looping over and over again in the background.

The feat of clearing that game has nothing to do with skill, and everything to do with surviving the music after twentysomething levels.


The work of the earworm is done :D

RamboFrog: Personally, I think that Qix would be the lamest 'video game into a movie' idea.

On the other hand, an arcade I used to go to had this totally cool video game called 'Star Wars.' That one would make an awesome movie.


Wouldnt it be an art movie that you watch on the influence of acid?


Still waiting for a 7th guest movie, though....

 
Pxtl 2009-07-02 01:16:30 PM  
Nightmaretony: The work of the earworm is done :D

Doo doo doo
da doo doo doo
da doo doo dooda doooo

dada doo doo doo
da dootdoo doo
da doo doo doodoot dooooo

dundundun...

 
highendmighty 2009-07-02 01:17:44 PM  
What was that website again? anticool.com?

 
reillan 2009-07-02 01:19:04 PM  
dletter: But, I can think of a number of other early 80s Video games that seem like they could be fleshed out into at least a movie with maybe a plausible story for a movie more than Asteroids: Dig Dug, Jungle King, Joust, Moon Patrol, Robotron: 2084, Missle Command.

Hunt the Wumpus!

/also, still waiting for Zork, the Movie. Want some rye?

 
koniver 2009-07-02 01:20:17 PM  
It's a Friday night, I have no date, my all Rush mix tape and a bottle of shasta. I am ready to go.

 
Cheese eating surrender monkey [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:22:31 PM  
Still waiting for the honkbag movie.

 
jfc.1981 2009-07-02 01:24:17 PM  
Cornwell: No suggestions of "Paperboy - Teh movie"?

Also, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l24k_KQg84k (new window)

One of the few College Humor clips to actually contain humor.


Wow. That was absolutely horrible. If you really think that is funny, then you must be just a riot at parties. If you're trolling, good work.

 
Therion [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:26:05 PM  
Zork.

Starring Gina Gershon.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:28:09 PM  
Opening lines of the screenplay:

It is pitch black. CHARACTER is likely to be eaten by a grue.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:29:39 PM  
theorellior: Opening lines of the screenplay:

It is pitch black. CHARACTER is likely to be eaten by a grue.


followed immediately by the closing credits. :D

 
HawgWild 2009-07-02 01:31:25 PM  
Or how about this:

www.debtkid.com

/teh hot!

 
FrancoFile 2009-07-02 01:34:50 PM  
Why stop with 1970s arcade games? I can see the trailer now.

"In a world where you're in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike..."

Or how about Hunt the Wumpus?

 
Fano 2009-07-02 01:36:29 PM  
I'm still waiting for the Swordquest: Earthworld movie. The guy that did Pans Labyrinth can direct.

 
Tony Baloney 2009-07-02 01:37:06 PM  
HawgWild: Or how about this:



/teh hot!


Ya know, I thought about that EXACT same thing, but I think Robot Chicken already handled that one admirably (or at least the ending...

 
Pxtl 2009-07-02 01:42:43 PM  
David Lynch presents Space Harrier.

 
Doogles4221 2009-07-02 01:45:47 PM  
In a semi-related note, they ARE making a videogame based on the movie Grease for the wii.

 
HawgWild 2009-07-02 01:52:25 PM  
Doogles4221: In a semi-related note, they ARE making a videogame based on the movie Grease for the wii.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

rofl.wheresthebeef.co.uk

 
Beerbarian 2009-07-02 01:53:47 PM  
France: Coming soon... Gauntlet: The Movie!!

/Don't shoot the food.


It needs to have an intermission stating "audience needs food...badly".

 
HawgWild 2009-07-02 01:54:13 PM  
Or this:

gamehall.uol.com.br

/I WILL keep this thread going!

 
Donnchadha [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:59:38 PM  
Snarfangel: Pacman: The Hunger would be a scary horror flick.

/all those ghosts.


It was some kind of man... some kind of... Pac-man

 
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