GOLF CLAP

BOOM! Big Bada BOOM!

move along, nothing to see here.

The terrorists have won.

Why is that guy holding a giant sperm?

Take the mortars out of their tubes....light the fuse and then roll down a highway at rush hour.

Or throw off of an overpass....

Good times...

Something tells me we will be seeing a DUMBASS or FAIL tag on the 5th of July

move along, nothing to see here.

Link (new window)

95629: Why is that guy holding a giant sperm?

He's demonstrating what happens when you blast off.

The fuses, designed for electronic ignition, can burn as quickly as a rate of 100 feet per second.


Good thing I would have YOU light it

Boom goes the dynamite fireworks.

So these idiots use them, and die. Problem solved.

Joe Dirt: Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where's the good stuff man?
Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go boom!
Kicking Wing: Why is that good?
Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs asses.
Kicking Wing: I would never do that, because one day I'm going to be a veterinarian
Joe Dirt: Well there you go, one day a bullfrog has a M-80 up his ass, he comes to you, you win twice brother.

Wanted for questioning:

Colon Cleanse Exposed

Do Not Get A Free Colon Cleanse Trial Before You Read This

Galen_Rasputin: BOOM! Big Bada BOOM!

I love that movie!

They're just going to use them to burn more cars.

There could be a kaboom, an Earth shattering kaboom.

Well at least one Chicago area ER is going to have a great story on July 5th.

So that is like 1500 in American?

Darwin is saying "Oh boy, I can't wait"! He's going to have a great Fourth of July!

mmmmmmmm. Class A shells.

all you need to do is attach a regular (white powder) fuse to the end of the fast burning (black powder) fuse to light these safely by hand. Most people who get these shells on the black market are aware of this fact.

and of course be sure you have exactly the right diameter pipe and that is heavy gauge and properly secured.

it's rockets not rocket science...


/ sure the cops who took these will enjoy them on Sat.

We used to get free confiscated fireworks from an Illinois trooper that my Dad was friends with. See, Chicago bashers. Corruption is awesome!

If these things are so dangerous, I can't understand why they were not stored in a more secure location.

So how much does a typical mortar shell weigh? I am more interested in how many were actually taken...not the weight of it all.

wooga booga wooga booga.... farkin Illinois law enforcement is the best at scaring the public with those statements.

I'm just sick of public officials blanketing the entire population with 4th-grader talk about how dangerous something can be.

This is just a way for them to cover their asses, to look as if they have "done something about it."

It's the political "Don't make me say 'I told you so'" routine.

\Illinois resident
\\Illegal to have any firework that goes 'boom' or is fun in anyway

Everything is ILLegal in ILLinois. It's the no-fun state.

A consumer grade artillery shell will give you a bad night if it bursts low to the ground due to an improper mortar. Commercial grade stuff will perforate you and cauterize the wounds at the same time. Both are nasty stuff even if you're not acting like an idiot.

Seriously, some folks make the No-Funners justified in their attempts to make sure even the pros have to jump through 19,000,000 hoops just to set off a sparkler.

Have the police thought of checking craigslist. Several ads offering fireworks. Just saying.

Devil's Playground: Something tells me we will be seeing a DUMBASS or FAIL tag on the 5th of July

like

Devil's Playground: Something tells me we will be seeing a DUMBASS or FAIL tag on the 5th of July

It's early. (new window) NSFW language

daffy: Galen_Rasputin: BOOM! Big Bada BOOM!

I love that movie!

I love that movie too.
My wife asked if I masturbate while thinking of the 5th element chick. I said "I will now".

Damn, that's like what... over 8100 US dollars?

Potent_Potable: wooga booga wooga booga.... farkin Illinois law enforcement is the best at scaring the public with those statements.

I'm just sick of public officials blanketing the entire population with 4th-grader talk about how dangerous something can be.

This is just a way for them to cover their asses, to look as if they have "done something about it."

It's the political "Don't make me say 'I told you so'" routine.

\Illinois resident
\\Illegal to have any firework that goes 'boom' or is fun in anyway

Everything is ILLegal in ILLinois. It's the no-fun state.

Yeah, God forbid they try and warn the people(teenagers most likely) that stole the fireworks that some of the shells pack more punch than many anti-personel mines, and will detonate in less then a second if you light the fuse with a match/lighter....dumbass. It's just a scare tactic.....

The police biatching about class D fireworks is one thing, commercial grade pyrotechnics are a whole different ball of twine. Some of those shells have enough blackpowder in the launch charge alone to cut you in half if they're not launched from a proper tube.

Some things have a way of working themselves out...

replaced by golf cart:It's early. (new window) NSFW language

now that's funny

Someone steals two and a half TONS of high explosives and the police are worried that someone's going to blow their hand off?

FTW

queezyweezel:

Yeah, God forbid they try and warn the people(teenagers most likely) that stole the fireworks that some of the shells pack more punch than many anti-personel mines, and will detonate in less then a second if you light the fuse with a match/lighter....dumbass. It's just a scare tactic.....

The police biatching about class D fireworks is one thing, commercial grade pyrotechnics are a whole different ball of twine. Some of those shells have enough blackpowder in the launch charge alone to cut you in half if they're not launched from a proper tube.

It's highly unlikely teenagers pulled off a heist like this. It was almost certainly police who took some for personal use or at least an inside job.

Most kids could not afford to purchase shells like these, and anyone the least bit responsible would not sell to them anyway.

The "scare tactics" I, and it seems other Farkers, resent has to do with how overblown the warnings are. And they are also counter-productive - just like trying drugs, when a teen lights a few fireworks and nothing goes wring he is apt to disbelieve ALL warnings regarding fireworks.

For the network news and cops to prattle on about the grave dangers of bottle rockets, firecrackers, silver jets, etc is ludicrous. In this specific article they are correct to warn (about commercial grade shells), but rarely if ever is a different class of firework treated differently insofar as warnings are concerned.

To use the WOD metaphor again, the press and cops treat Class C just like Class A, just as the ONDCP treats mj like heroin. These idiots basically ensure their own message is falling on deaf ears.

The bottom line is *if you follow the correct instructions* fireworks are not very dangerous at all. You know - like skiing, or sky diving, or drinking, etc etc. Should all of these be made illegal?

So in essence laws banning fireworks are a case of a few dumb apples ruining the fun for everyone. The government should stay out of this.

"Land of the Free" but I cant light a bottle rocket on the 4th of July? fark that.

I think they were being set off under my window last night. I'd love to see Chicago cops round up everyone who sets of fireworks and throw 'em int he hoosegow for creating a nuisance and endangering lives and property.

Bhopper: queezyweezel:

Yeah, God forbid they try and warn the people(teenagers most likely) that stole the fireworks that some of the shells pack more punch than many anti-personel mines, and will detonate in less then a second if you light the fuse with a match/lighter....dumbass. It's just a scare tactic.....

The police biatching about class D fireworks is one thing, commercial grade pyrotechnics are a whole different ball of twine. Some of those shells have enough blackpowder in the launch charge alone to cut you in half if they're not launched from a proper tube.

It's highly unlikely teenagers pulled off a heist like this. It was almost certainly police who took some for personal use or at least an inside job.

Most kids could not afford to purchase shells like these, and anyone the least bit responsible would not sell to them anyway.

The "scare tactics" I, and it seems other Farkers, resent has to do with how overblown the warnings are. And they are also counter-productive - just like trying drugs, when a teen lights a few fireworks and nothing goes wring he is apt to disbelieve ALL warnings regarding fireworks.

For the network news and cops to prattle on about the grave dangers of bottle rockets, firecrackers, silver jets, etc is ludicrous. In this specific article they are correct to warn (about commercial grade shells), but rarely if ever is a different class of firework treated differently insofar as warnings are concerned.

To use the WOD metaphor again, the press and cops treat Class C just like Class A, just as the ONDCP treats mj like heroin. These idiots basically ensure their own message is falling on deaf ears.

The bottom line is *if you follow the correct instructions* fireworks are not very dangerous at all. You know - like skiing, or sky diving, or drinking, etc etc. Should all of these be made illegal?

So in essence laws banning fireworks are a case of a few dumb apples ruining the fun for everyone. The government should stay out of this.

"Land of the Free" but I cant light a bottle rocket on the 4th of July? fark that.

1/10

There's also a story about a semi full of shells that kids have been pilfering from over the past few weeks in the chicago burbs today. Some dad found 100 shells in his kids room so he turned him in. Cops said the trailer was about empty when they found out about this...

As a professional pyrotechnician that will be loading these things tomorrow, I can tell you that while the cops are exaggerating a bit, display (1.3G) fireworks, especially shells, are far more dangerous than what you can buy as a consumer (1.4G).

The picture shows a shell with a quickmatch leader. Like they say, that is meant to be ignited electronically, that fuse will burn in a fraction of a second. Then the lift charge goes off and launches the shell, igniting time fuse to the burst charge, which makes the shell explode. You'll have maybe 3sec between the lift and break, which won't help you much if you light one by hand outside of a tube. And if you are over the tube expecting a delay like a consumer shell, you will probably lose whatever is over it (they should be treated just like a gun). At least one person died last year shooting an illegally purchased 3" shell, she got blasted in the head right in front of her children.

I am in no way the fun police, I say everyone should enjoy legal consumer fireworks, as long as they follow basic safety precautions. But only professionals should be handling the professional stuff.

A couple other things...

The lift charge from a shell doesn't have much explosive power outside of a tube, but it will still give you very serious burns.

Consumer shells come in kits that include a tube, you won't get that buying illegal display shells. Do you have a properly plugged 6" HDPE tube laying around for your shells? People either light them on the ground and get hurt, or use the wrong kinds of tubes (like PVC) that will fragment into shards.

You'll probably survive a 3" shell in your hand, but you'll lose the hand and get serious burns. The larger you go, the higher chance of death, obviously. I'm not going to pull numbers out of my ass, but a larger shell will likely kill you. Salute shells (no color, just a big bang) are even more dangerous, a 3" could easily kill you.

Potent_Potable: wooga booga wooga booga.... farkin Illinois law enforcement is the best at scaring the public with those statements.

I'm just sick of public officials blanketing the entire population with 4th-grader talk about how dangerous something can be.
...
Everything is ILLegal in ILLinois. It's the no-fun state.

It's the same way in CA. And, it could be worse - you could live in AZ where no fireworks are legal in the state.

Fireworks laws are really arbitrary and dumb. For instance, IL is like CA (safe and sane only) yet go one state over, to MO, and you can get just about anything you want. Same with going from CA to NV. Plus, each county and city has its own, often more restrictive, laws. Often, (SD?) you can only buy fireworks if you have an out of state driver's license. Really weird stuff.

Just another sign of the times - the nannies are solidly in charge. My dad used to reminisce about the stuff they could light off in CT when he was a kid. They had up to 10 inch salutes, which were probably like today's M80s or M100s. Nowadays, in many places you're lucky if you can get a pack of sparklers.

When things are dumbed down to the least common denominator, you end up with stuff like "safe and sane." It makes no sense to me why a kid can have a Roman candle in one county/city, yet get caught with it in another and it's a serious crime. "One nation?" Give me a break.

That said... I agree, display shells should be left to those properly trained. I helped set up a display a few years ago - we had up to 6 inch shells. The mortars were set up in plywood boxes which were filled with about 2 feet of sand. During the show, one shell's burst charge exploded prematurely. It fish-mouthed the half-inch-thick HDPE pipe, and displaced the sand with such force that it ripped out the side of the box. Scary.