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(Gainesville Sun) Unlikely Father of toddler crushed to death by his eight-foot Burmese python described as "a great dad"   (gainesville.com) divider line 370
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DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:00:32 AM  
FTFA: Then they took it to an undisclosed wildlife facility, where they planned to have a veterinarian examine it to determine whether it could be saved from its stab wounds.

I thought they always euthanize an animal when a human fatality happens.

 
Beatle_Matt [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:02:23 AM  
You know who else was a great dad, was Joe Jackson.

I heard he formed a new record company.

 
ThatWomanFromMassachusetts [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:05:01 AM  
According to the 2008 edition of "Florida Captive Wildlife Regulations," a python must be kept in a cage or glass case made of at least quarter-inch break-resistant glass. The enclosure must be secured by a lock.

Investigators say the aquarium taken from the child's home was about six feet long and three feet deep and open at the top, but it wasn't immediately clear to them whether the case had a lid.


Idiot.

I'd say worse things about him, but he's got to live with himself for the rest of his life, and that's probably punishment enough, so I'll stop at "idiot".

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:08:27 AM  
At least he found it before it had time to eat the poor kid.

 
Tresser [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:36:50 AM  
florida tag

 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:45:08 AM  
I've never met anyone who owned a large snake that didn't have some sort of major personality disorder.

 
R.A.Danny [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:51:24 AM  
How is this for freedom- Everyone can have all the snakes, baboons, and pit bulls they want, but they need to cut off the little pricks they are compensating for so they can't procreate.

 
Calmamity [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:55:58 AM  
sigdiamond2000: I've never met anyone who owned a large snake that didn't have some sort of major personality disorder.

Like the desire to keep a large snake in one's home?

 
Sybarite [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:01:42 AM  
I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:19:03 AM  
Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.

 
notmtwain [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:22:41 AM  
I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:49:46 AM  
notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Never heard of that. Makes me think you could give a snake a regular piercing and then stake it to whatever you felt like. I suppose you could even run a string through it and tie it up.

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 12:26:56 PM  
He might have been a great dad, but he was a real shiatty pet owner

 
Boritom [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 12:49:46 PM  
Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

Oh, they do... mark my words, Son... They know exactly who you are... and they're watching... they just watch... waiting... always waiting... and then, when you least expect it... POW! They hit you with a Ponzi Scheme!

 
Rose Red 2009-07-02 12:55:12 PM  
Mommy needs the kawk so it doesn't matter what's wrong with the owner of said kawk. Happens every day.

 
vol1805 2009-07-02 12:55:48 PM  
a snake is not a pet

 
J. Frank Parnell 2009-07-02 12:56:11 PM  
Nowadays it seems you just have to feed your kids regularly and not beat them to get the 'great dad' title.

 
reillan 2009-07-02 12:56:14 PM  
Wait, I'm confused. Who died?

 
asmodeus224 2009-07-02 12:57:15 PM  
Silly white people

 
headcrack 2009-07-02 12:59:31 PM  
asmodeus224: Silly white people

Indeed. Why have pets if you can't force them to fight each other to the death?

 
zerolous 2009-07-02 12:59:39 PM  
Tresser: florida tag

This

 
wyrlss 2009-07-02 12:59:49 PM  
reillan: Wait, I'm confused. Who died?

The man whose snake owned a toddler?

 
fernanernie 2009-07-02 12:59:56 PM  
DogS laughter
At least he found it before it had time to eat the poor kid.

This

 
DeathByGrace 2009-07-02 01:00:22 PM  
the little girl was adorable too. If it was an ugly kid, i wouldnt care.
/you know they're out there.

 
Molavian 2009-07-02 01:00:38 PM  
How terrible. Hopefully the parents are charged and imprisoned without being let off by the whole "they've been punished enough" bullshiat.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-07-02 01:00:45 PM  

notmtwain


I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.


Otherwise... VOOM!

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:01:02 PM  
I'm glad the python was a great Dad, what about the asshat who owned it?

 
EggFool [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:01:04 PM  
It's not even his kid, the mom is his girlfriend. "Great step-dad" doesn't have quite the same believability though.

 
New Moon Rabbit 2009-07-02 01:01:20 PM  
FTFA: Geoghegan said Shaiunna played with the python all the time and the snake had never been aggressive toward her.

Darnell reportedly also owns a boa constrictor that was in a different container. The reptiles were considered family pets


What the holy Hell?

/nothing else comes to mind
//extra slashies for the sheer stupidity

 
flashfry 2009-07-02 01:01:20 PM  
If they use taxpayer dollars trying and incarcerating a guy who has now wasted 2 years of his emotion, love, money, and energy and has learned the gravest lesson one possibly could about the dangers of his ways.... well, just glad I don't live in Florida.

Wait, I was already glad I don't live in Florida.

 
FreeMedical 2009-07-02 01:01:37 PM  
J. Frank Parnell: Nowadays it seems you just have to feed your kids regularly and not beat them to get the 'great dad' title.

You don't even need to do that in order to purchase a t-shirt which affirms it.

 
TallyGirl 2009-07-02 01:02:04 PM  
He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)

 
Glacier123 2009-07-02 01:02:17 PM  
DogS laughter: notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Never heard of that. Makes me think you could give a snake a regular piercing and then stake it to whatever you felt like. I suppose you could even run a string through it and tie it up.


I think someone missed the reference

 
Porsche914 2009-07-02 01:02:36 PM  
Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

Apparently, you're a late night snack...

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 01:03:21 PM  
It was doing gods work.
http://tinyurl.com/laxo4j
(copy and paste)

 
MrBurns 2009-07-02 01:03:35 PM  
DogS laughter: notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Never heard of that. Makes me think you could give a snake a regular piercing and then stake it to whatever you felt like. I suppose you could even run a string through it and tie it up.


Ummmm....
headsdownthumbsup.files.wordpress.com

//hottie

 
New Moon Rabbit 2009-07-02 01:03:40 PM  
Glacier123: DogS laughter: notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Never heard of that. Makes me think you could give a snake a regular piercing and then stake it to whatever you felt like. I suppose you could even run a string through it and tie it up.

I think someone missed the reference


Maybe he's too busy pining for the fjords to get the reference....

 
syntaxic 2009-07-02 01:03:53 PM  
:\ That sucks.

I'm not going to make judgments about what kind of pets people should be allowed to keep (I had a pitbull growing up that was the best dog anyone could have hoped for... I know, not a snake, but still...) but it doesn't sound like this guy bothered to take the necessary precautions of owning a large snake.

Maybe if the guy had bothered to put a lock on the cage this wouldn't have happened.

Still, sucks.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:04:19 PM  
FTFA: Geoghegan said Shaiunna played with the python all the time and the snake had never been aggressive toward her.

The snake wasn't hungry at the time. Seriously, small children look just like large rats, medium dogs, or small pigs to a snake. Every one of them a mobile chunk of easily-swallowed mammal meat. All of them will do in a pinch.

 
schadenfreudian 2009-07-02 01:04:26 PM  
asmodeus224: Silly white people

Nice.

/kid's name was Shaiunna.

 
maxspeed 2009-07-02 01:04:32 PM  
Should I not have kept an 8 1/2 foot snake where toddlers are present? Was that wrong? Because if somebody had told me...

 
dittybopper [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:05:19 PM  
DogS laughter: notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Never heard of that. Makes me think you could give a snake a regular piercing and then stake it to whatever you felt like. I suppose you could even run a string through it and tie it up.


That whooshing sound was the joke doing a high speed low altitude flyby right above your head.

Pet Shop Sketch.

 
Saul Good 2009-07-02 01:05:25 PM  
Idiots who keep these kinds of animals bring this shiat on themselves. Darwin approves.

/I feel sorry for the kid.

 
wyrlss 2009-07-02 01:05:33 PM  
theorellior: small children look just like large rats, medium dogs, or small pigs

That is so true.

 
Lloyd Braun 2009-07-02 01:05:43 PM  
I'll show you a 8 foot snake (if you know what I mean)...

/i meant my penis

 
Nightsweat 2009-07-02 01:05:56 PM  
J. Frank Parnell: Nowadays it seems you just have to feed your kids regularly and not beat them to get the 'great dad' title.

Define regularly. I may be in the running for the title!

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 01:07:25 PM  
disney.go.com

"I tried to tell you, but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen."

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 01:07:28 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


Thank you. Link is farked. I swore I read earlier that this wasn't her father.

 
canadianloon 2009-07-02 01:08:33 PM  
Lloyd Braun: I'll show you a 8 foot snake (if you know what I mean)...

/i meant my penis


Your profile is hilarious. Get to the gym!

 
TheKingOfMexico 2009-07-02 01:08:46 PM  
ThatWomanFromMassachusetts: I'd say worse things about him, but he's got to live with himself for the rest of his life, and that's probably punishment enough, so I'll stop at "idiot".

Anyone who thinks that absolutely everyone in the world "lives with" guilt for their actions has never spent time with actual criminals.

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:09:07 PM  
Glacier123: DogS laughter: notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Never heard of that. Makes me think you could give a snake a regular piercing and then stake it to whatever you felt like. I suppose you could even run a string through it and tie it up.

I think someone missed the reference


Since I said, "never heard of that" you are obviously correct. What was he referring to?

 
MissDementia 2009-07-02 01:10:11 PM  
The mother of the child is also obviously brain damaged and should be immediately sterilized before she spreads her stupid again. A large snake like that is a two-person job to handle for ADULTS. You never, ever handle one by yourself and you certainly don't allow children to "play" with them.

/owns reptiles
//responsibly, even

 
DoWhatNowToWhat 2009-07-02 01:10:15 PM  
FTFA Wednesday, July 1, 2009. The pet python was found wrapped around two-year-old Shaiunna Hare in the home at approximately 10 a.m. Wednesday and strangled the girl during the night after escaping

Maybe the snake was just looking for dinner.

 
poot_rootbeer 2009-07-02 01:10:52 PM  
I GOT A SNAKE MANG
ONE TIME I FED IT MY KID
IT WAS ALL FARKED UP

 
flyingmonkeysreign 2009-07-02 01:10:52 PM  
i567.photobucket.com

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:11:03 PM  
Thanks MrBurns. Can't believe I missed it.

 
LineNoise [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:11:48 PM  
The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if thats not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:

www.foxnews.com

 
bullwrinkle 2009-07-02 01:11:56 PM  
Very, very sad. I don't understand why someone would want to own a snake at all.

 
BlorfMaster 2009-07-02 01:12:19 PM  
sigdiamond2000: I've never met anyone who owned a large snake that didn't have some sort of major personality disorder.

THIS.

Wow players, conspiracy theorist, wiccans, gun nuts and Ron Paul supporters.

 
ilgallo 2009-07-02 01:12:30 PM  
notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.


/MPFC reference
// a tad obscure

 
boyvoyeur 2009-07-02 01:12:53 PM  
Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.

 
wyrlss 2009-07-02 01:13:23 PM  
LineNoise: The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if that's not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:


Dammit. Now I'm ambivalent. I didn't think stupid people felt pain before. I thought they were like fish.

 
Rapmaster2000 2009-07-02 01:13:35 PM  
Ugh. Dangerous animal people. Here's a tip, your python is not substitute for a personality.

 
KnightsFolly [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:13:35 PM  
theorellior: FTFA: Geoghegan said Shaiunna played with the python all the time and the snake had never been aggressive toward her.

The snake wasn't hungry at the time. Seriously, small children look just like large rats, medium dogs, or small pigs to a snake. Every one of them a mobile chunk of easily-swallowed mammal meat. All of them will do in a pinch.


I don't know anything about snakes but I have to wonder if the thing was escaping repeatedly because it was hungry. (I wonder how long it had been since the last feeding.)

 
budsterr 2009-07-02 01:14:14 PM  
That's some fine liberal parenting there, idiot. I hope he goes to prison and gets to meet someone's black mamba.

 
reillan 2009-07-02 01:14:27 PM  
wyrlss: reillan: Wait, I'm confused. Who died?

The man whose snake owned a toddler?


Ah... that makes sense now, thanks

 
canadianloon 2009-07-02 01:14:35 PM  
LineNoise: The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if thats not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:


A little off topic, but I bet they had the best sex ever later that night. It's weird, but I find the two best sex nights I have had with my wife have been after a family member has died. I mean, she goes crazy after crying for hours and hours and farks me to tears basically.

So they have that going for them.

 
serpent_sky [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:15:27 PM  
TheKingOfMexico: ThatWomanFromMassachusetts: I'd say worse things about him, but he's got to live with himself for the rest of his life, and that's probably punishment enough, so I'll stop at "idiot".

Anyone who thinks that absolutely everyone in the world "lives with" guilt for their actions has never spent time with actual criminals.


...except this guy doesn't appear to be a criminal, so much as stupid and irresponsible. Seems like that stupidity led to an accident (it certainly doesn't sound like he tried to get anyone killed by his snake, even though he should have known it was a possibility) and he probably will have to live with guilt.

The guy isn't a hardened criminal who was running around intentionally doing wrong. He's just an idiot.

 
Renart 2009-07-02 01:15:43 PM  
Add me to the list of people who do not understand why you would want to keep a large carnivorous snake around the house as a pet. There was a freaky article in the New Yorker a few months ago about the growing population of feral Burmese pythons and other exotic species in Florida.

 
DROxINxTHExWIND [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:15:52 PM  
boyvoyeur: Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.


Cats aren't pets either. They are reptiles with fur.

 
dmnall 2009-07-02 01:16:00 PM  
First of all the biggest thing that I see is that he kept the Burmese Python in a Glass Aquarium.. That was the biggest irresponsible thing any snake owner can do, especially with a species that can get hit 20+ feet. A responsible snake owner would have had a proper cage set up that has locking doors and not a lid *should be a solid box of wood or plastic with doors on the front*, preferably keeping the reptiles enclosures in a separate room with a locked door, in case there was an escape... Just a case this guy is an idiot and should be charged with the crime over the death of his daughter because being irresponsible is not an excuse!

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:17:18 PM  
I had a large boa that I force fed stew beef. She new who I was. That did not keep her from biting my girlfriend who tried to pick her up when I wasn't there.

 
tasthesose2 2009-07-02 01:17:25 PM  
notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Ya but that is strictly for the Norwegian Blues. Beautiful plumage on them but if you dont nail them down they will muscle open the bars and fly right out of the cage

/cheese shop is my 2nd favorite

 
simpsonfan 2009-07-02 01:17:33 PM  
At least they're going to try and save the snake.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:17:42 PM  
Renart: There was a freaky article in the New Yorker a few months ago about the growing population of feral Burmese pythons and other exotic species in Florida.

I love the use of the word "feral" as applied to pythons. They were never a domesticated species to begin with. Unless "feral" in this context means "not in an unlocked box in some idiot's garage."

 
AnubisMan 2009-07-02 01:17:48 PM  
boyvoyeur: Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.


I think fark might be able to agree with you on this one because every farker/farkette's cats fit into the .2% margin.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:18:34 PM  
headcrack: asmodeus224: Silly white people

Indeed. Why have pets if you can't force them to fight each other to the death?


zing

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:18:53 PM  
Sorry, since this is fark, I'd better say knew. ftfm

 
daffy 2009-07-02 01:19:09 PM  
He was probably more upset that they were taking his snake away then the kid dying.

 
tsjonesosu 2009-07-02 01:19:13 PM  
FTFA: Geoghegan said Shaiunna played with the python all the time and the snake had never been aggressive toward her.

Really! Did she really...sounds like THE SNAKE was playing with its food.
Child endangerment, neglect, failure to protect etc...etc...
A good dad is not the description for this a$$clown.

 
richard1138 2009-07-02 01:19:46 PM  
Ah yes, Exotic Pet Owner, falling somewhere between meth addict and bald-guy-in-corvette-that-hangs-out-with-highschool-kids.

Good job!

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:20:02 PM  
Burmese pythons aren't dangerous, it's how you raise 'em

 
Gish21 2009-07-02 01:20:13 PM  
DogS laughter: Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.


I'd agree, except for the puffer fish. The little dudes are like puppies.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:20:59 PM  
headcrack: Indeed. Why have pets if you can't force them to fight each other to the death?

The toddler lost this time.

 
Rapmaster2000 2009-07-02 01:21:11 PM  
budsterr: That's some fine liberal parenting there, idiot. I hope he goes to prison and gets to meet someone's black mamba.

Totally. Rural Florida is filled with libs. It's just like East Texas - homo lib heaven.

 
maxximillian 2009-07-02 01:21:21 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


1)✓
2)✓
3)✓
How you doin?

/I used to live in tally, was happy to see Leon Pub made the list of best bars in fl on some foxnews story this morning.

 
Jackpot777 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:21:51 PM  
LineNoise: The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if thats not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:


i301.photobucket.com

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 01:21:57 PM  
What a boa and a python might look like.
http://tinyurl.com/mjl529
(copy and paste)

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 01:22:11 PM  
wyrlss: LineNoise: The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if that's not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:

Dammit. Now I'm ambivalent. I didn't think stupid people felt pain before. I thought they were like fish.


Give me a hook and we can have definative proof...

 
MrsHashBrown 2009-07-02 01:22:34 PM  
These sorts of stories always tick me off. Why keep a potentially dangerous and untrained animal in an unsecured pen/cage/whatever? Particularly if there is a small child in the home?

We have a highly trained and very obedient GSD and we NEVER leave the tater tot alone with the dog. And we shut the baby's door at night to keep the dog from going in there when we're not around.

WTF is so dang hard about that? That poor little girl would still be alive if these hicks had even the slightest bit of sense.

 
Renart 2009-07-02 01:22:38 PM  
theorellior: Renart: There was a freaky article in the New Yorker a few months ago about the growing population of feral Burmese pythons and other exotic species in Florida.

I love the use of the word "feral" as applied to pythons. They were never a domesticated species to begin with. Unless "feral" in this context means "not in an unlocked box in some idiot's garage."


Ha ha, you're right. I should have said "escaped Burmese pythons and their offspring".

 
tedbundee 2009-07-02 01:22:45 PM  
headcrack: asmodeus224: Silly white people

Indeed. Why have pets if you can't force them to fight each other to the death?


This

 
katerbug72 2009-07-02 01:23:05 PM  
notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

*snerk*

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:23:18 PM  
Actually, "Burmese" is probably not the correct nomenclature. This was a Myanmar python.

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 01:24:32 PM  
What a python full of two year old might look like:
img262.imageshack.us

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:24:43 PM  
Can you breath?

I can breath out...

 
wbaxter 2009-07-02 01:25:02 PM  
Gotta love FL. Only That many stupid people gather in one state could generate such wonderful stories.

He found the snake outside the enclosure, put the snake in a bag and returned it to the enclosure, but never wondered how the h3ll the damn thing got out in the first place.

They let a child play with an 8 ft python.

Despite Ball Pythons taking over from FL to AL he still keeps one illegally.

I don't think the word 'moron' is descriptive enough to describe this guy. He should be locked up to protect the rest of the family, and the country.

 
katerbug72 2009-07-02 01:27:16 PM  
boyvoyeur: Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.


You must not have a cat. My four cats sure are affectionate.

 
NannyStatePark 2009-07-02 01:27:16 PM  
Snakes are cool but why not just go to the frigging zoo? I have a ball python, and she is maybe 4ft long, and all it does is take up space, make a mess, and eat rats. She doesn't give a crap who anyone is and has no emotional capacity. At least she won't get big enough to kill anything I care about. The cat could kick her ass.

I'm voting for the idea that the snake was underfed. These people don't appear to be rolling in dough looking at their house. And you have to feed large snakes fairly expensive prey items. They aren't giving away rabbits at Petco. The daughter had bite marks on her head and would have been eaten if the man hadn't stabbed it.

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 01:27:21 PM  
photos.ronamber.com

"Bonne nuit, petite princesse..."

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:28:02 PM  
If you live in Florida, why the heck would you want a python pet? If you like big reptiles just go out and look at alligators.

(and feral iguanas. And feral boas/pythons released by asshats...)

 
toonz 2009-07-02 01:28:14 PM  
Saul Good: Idiots who keep these kinds of animals bring this shiat on themselves. Darwin approves.

/I feel sorry for the kid.


spawn of stupid was not likely to do more than bring the world more stupid.

I feel sorry for a frog eaten by a woodland critter but what can you do?

 
RandomExcess 2009-07-02 01:28:37 PM  
A snake ate my baby! (NZ accent)

 
Jackpot777 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:29:12 PM  
katerbug72: boyvoyeur: Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.

You must not have a cat. My four cats sure are affectionate.


This.

Every cat I have owned in my life has been as affectionate as a dog. Not as goofy as a dog, not trainable like a dog, but very demonstrative and communicative.

 
Renart 2009-07-02 01:29:33 PM  
theorellior: Renart: There was a freaky article in the New Yorker a few months ago about the growing population of feral Burmese pythons and other exotic species in Florida.

I love the use of the word "feral" as applied to pythons. They were never a domesticated species to begin with. Unless "feral" in this context means "not in an unlocked box in some idiot's garage."


The scariest part of the article is that as the climate gets warmer, it's possible that the pythons could increase their range to over a third of the United States. Here comes the science. (new window)

 
Pair-o-Dice 2009-07-02 01:29:36 PM  
FTFA:
Her body was taken to the Medical Examiner's office in Leesburg for an autopsy

I realize an autopsy is the protocol, but:

"So Lou, watcha see?"
"Well, looks like a bag of bones."
"Oh, in that case - next..."

 
katerbug72 2009-07-02 01:29:43 PM  
katerbug72: boyvoyeur: Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.

You must not have a cat. My four cats sure are affectionate.


Don't I feel dumb.
/dumbass=me
//carry on, nothing to see here

 
ExRedStater 2009-07-02 01:29:57 PM  
RandomExcess: A snake ate my baby! (NZ accent)

Ehh snike height mee byebye!!

 
letrole 2009-07-02 01:30:34 PM  
canadianloon: A little off topic, but I bet they had the best sex ever later that night. It's weird, but I find the two best sex nights I have had with my wife have been after a family member has died. I mean, she goes crazy after crying for hours and hours and farks me to tears basically.

That's what I like about her as well.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:30:51 PM  
DROxINxTHExWIND: boyvoyeur: Sybarite - I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.

Cats aren't pets either. They are reptiles with fur.


Cats! on a mother farkin' plane!!!

 
Wodan11 2009-07-02 01:31:02 PM  
boyvoyeur: A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.


You obviously have never owned any cats or are unempathetic. Cats return the empathy of the owner. Dogs, meanwhile, will be social regardless of the empathy of the owner. (Unless specifically trained otherwise, of course. Hello Michael Vick.)

Back to TFA, this just pisses me off. Anybody who keeps a predator in their home along with suitable prey they they don't want to be prey is a moran.

 
Lamune_Baba 2009-07-02 01:31:03 PM  
theorellior: I'm glad the python was a great Dad, what about the asshat who owned it?

I dunno, but I'm concerned about the toddler who's father was crushed to death. That's a hell of a way to lose a parent.

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:31:04 PM  
If you had a snake-er
send your tot to her maker
post this on your grave:
Burma Shave!

 
wingnut396 2009-07-02 01:31:58 PM  
MrsHashBrown:

We have a highly trained and very obedient GSD and we NEVER leave the tater tot alone with the dog.


Giant Slobbery Dog?

 
phartnocker 2009-07-02 01:32:18 PM  
I used to have a Burmese python when I was in my late teens - I got it when I moved into my first place. I sold it when it got so big that I had to start feeding it rabbits - which I had to stun with a hammer to keep them from gouging the snake during their death throes. Specifically, after I'd stunned one and went to drop it in the cage the snake grabbed struck my hand and wrapped its self around my arm, with the rabbit..., and I had to pry it off me. I was about 10 seconds from telling my GF to go grab a knife so I could kill it when it let go. After that... done with snakes.

I would amend the earlier statement regarding snake owners and personality disorders by adding an age qualifier, like... say... 25. Before then, you're just a young idiot. After that... personality disorders are likely.

 
BrotherMat 2009-07-02 01:32:47 PM  
DAMN YOU HERA!

 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:33:20 PM  
People... you don't need pythons around that will kill somebody.

If you really want a snake that would strangle you, all you need is one that could fit around your neck.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:34:19 PM  
budsterr: That's some fine liberal parenting there, idiot. I hope he goes to prison and gets to meet someone's black mamba.

0/10

 
Meowsertd [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:34:22 PM  
TheKingOfMexico: ThatWomanFromMassachusetts: I'd say worse things about him, but he's got to live with himself for the rest of his life, and that's probably punishment enough, so I'll stop at "idiot".

Anyone who thinks that absolutely everyone in the world "lives with" guilt for their actions has never spent time with actual criminals.



not sure this man is a criminal, just an idiot who moved to florida

 
DROxINxTHExWIND [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:34:54 PM  
Wodan11: boyvoyeur: A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.

You obviously have never owned any cats or are unempathetic. Cats return the empathy of the owner. Dogs, meanwhile, will be social regardless of the empathy of the owner. (Unless specifically trained otherwise, of course. Hello Michael Vick.)

Back to TFA, this just pisses me off. Anybody who keeps a predator in their home along with suitable prey they they don't want to be prey is a moran.


The only reason your cat hasn't killed and eaten you is that you're too big.

 
MrsHashBrown 2009-07-02 01:35:37 PM  
wingnut396: MrsHashBrown:

We have a highly trained and very obedient GSD and we NEVER leave the tater tot alone with the dog.

Giant Slobbery Dog?


Only if he's been running! German Shepherd Dog, actually.

 
Jackpot777 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:36:17 PM  
budsterr: That's some fine liberal parenting there, idiot. I hope he goes to prison and gets to meet someone's black mamba.

Gainesville? In Alachua County? These people may look like a lot of things, but University of Florida alumni isn't one of them.

He doesn't sound like college material, either (new window, 911 call in the video).

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:36:18 PM  
cowgirl toffee: People... you don't need pythons around that will kill somebody.

If you really want a snake that would strangle you, all you need is one that could fit around your neck.


Actually not how they do it sugar, they squeeze you much lower down so that you can't breath. Don't even wrap around a rat, one proper pinch does it.

 
Purplebuzz [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:36:44 PM  
wyrlss: LineNoise: The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if that's not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:

Dammit. Now I'm ambivalent. I didn't think stupid people felt pain before. I thought they were like fish.



Its rare, but this is why I keep comming back. Well done.

 
flyingmonkeysreign 2009-07-02 01:37:15 PM  
Renart: theorellior: Renart: There was a freaky article in the New Yorker a few months ago about the growing population of feral Burmese pythons and other exotic species in Florida.

I love the use of the word "feral" as applied to pythons. They were never a domesticated species to begin with. Unless "feral" in this context means "not in an unlocked box in some idiot's garage."

Ha ha, you're right. I should have said "escaped Burmese pythons and their offspring".


That's nothing new, the only way I know that is because of a picture, that I can't seem to find right now, taken from a story I read in 2004 (right before I went to FL the first time). Its this pond with two or three large crocs (or alligators, whatever the freshwater ones that they have in the everglades are) and laying around them are about a half dozen very large snakes of varrying species (big yellow ones, black ones, and brown ones) all either released pets or the offspring of them.

/Still haunts me

 
jicon 2009-07-02 01:37:41 PM  
www.coin.dk

Approves

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:38:43 PM  
Pmoon:
Actually not how they do it sugar, they squeeze you much lower down so that you can't breath.


Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:39:13 PM  
NannyStatePark: The daughter had bite marks on her head and would have been eaten if the man hadn't stabbed it.

They should probably count themselves lucky that they found the snake before she was eaten. Otherwise, they'd have a missing toddler and a fat snake. Would they have put the two together?

 
canadianloon 2009-07-02 01:39:19 PM  
Pmoon:
Actually not how they do it sugar, they squeeze you much lower down so that you can't breath.

Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

 
mfaby 2009-07-02 01:39:59 PM  
DogS laughter 2009-07-02 10:08:27 AM
At least he found it before it had time to eat the poor kid.


Yeah, I thought that, too.


And just to tick-off a whole bunch of people:

'It's not the snake's fault, it's the owner's,
just like with pit bulls'

Believe it or not, some animals are dangerous and shouldn't be kept as pets.

Idiots.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:40:38 PM  
lukelightning: Pmoon:
Actually not how they do it sugar, they squeeze you much lower down so that you can't breath.

Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.


I hope my bad writing did not harm anyone. Passion of the moment and all that.

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:40:58 PM  
lukelightning: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

canadianloon: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

Do we have an alt unmasked here?

 
WienerButt 2009-07-02 01:42:00 PM  
phartnocker: I used to have a Burmese python when I was in my late teens - I got it when I moved into my first place. I sold it when it got so big that I had to start feeding it rabbits - which I had to stun with a hammer to keep them from gouging the snake during their death throes. Specifically, after I'd stunned one and went to drop it in the cage the snake grabbed struck my hand and wrapped its self around my arm, with the rabbit..., and I had to pry it off me. I was about 10 seconds from telling my GF to go grab a knife so I could kill it when it let go. After that... done with snakes.

I would amend the earlier statement regarding snake owners and personality disorders by adding an age qualifier, like... say... 25. Before then, you're just a young idiot. After that... personality disorders are likely.


That sounds so exciting and easy. Why wouldn't people want snakes? It's much better than my mom's little dog who freaking poops and pees on a little sod pad in the patio and sleeps in bed with her snuggled up. Ugh, mammals. Yuck!

 
TallyGirl 2009-07-02 01:42:04 PM  
"The only reason your cat hasn't killed and eaten you is that you're too big."

Amen, brother. My freakishly fat cat is just waiting for me to kick off so she can eat my face.

/she told me so
//telepathy, you know

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:42:39 PM  
theorellior: lukelightning: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

canadianloon: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

Do we have an alt unmasked here?


Nope, unless I have split personality (I did used to live in Canada... and I do like loons). I think it's a quotation error. Or perhaps Canadianloon and I think exactly alike.

 
Rawhead Rex 2009-07-02 01:43:16 PM  
I've had a python for about...hmm...a couple of years now...

Also have a daughter, 7 years old now, was 5 when I got the snake.

But, as I'm not an idiot...I bought a BALL python.
It'll never get larger than 5 feet long. It can stay in an aquarium just fine.

Small snakes are cool.

 
Pair-o-Dice 2009-07-02 01:43:38 PM  
theorellior: lukelightning: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

canadianloon: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

Do we have an alt unmasked here?


Things that make you go hmmmmm

 
ShamanGator 2009-07-02 01:44:06 PM  
Idiot.

I'd say worse things about him, but he's got to live with himself for the rest of his life, and that's probably punishment enough, so I'll stop at "idiot".


No kidding. He finds the snake loose & then just puts it back & goes to bed. I find any of my critters out I'd make sure they need an engineering degree to escape a second time. Then I could go to bed.

 
hellolove 2009-07-02 01:46:36 PM  
PeterPipersPickledPecker: "Bonne nuit, petite princesse..."

Nice.

/"Dessine-moi un mouton!"

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 01:46:41 PM  
lukelightning: Or perhaps Canadianloon and I think exactly alike.

Too bad you were a minute sixteen from an identical simulpost.

 
Andorion 2009-07-02 01:46:43 PM  
I haven't seen it yet, so...

Here's a link to the complete 911 call audio (new window)

It's pretty difficult to listen to, really a sad situation.

 
krazydiamond 2009-07-02 01:46:45 PM  
Saw this on the news this morning, pretty sad. The family looked pretty trashtastic.

Question, to most snakes kill their prey before swallowing it, or do some swallow it alive?

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:46:54 PM  
I find it hard to believe that this guy walks upright, his knuckles must be scraped raw.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 01:48:12 PM  
Many times they are still alive on the way down.

 
joonyer 2009-07-02 01:48:35 PM  
Snake? SNAKE?!

SNAAAAAAKKEE!!

 
GT_bike 2009-07-02 01:48:57 PM  
BlorfMaster: sigdiamond2000: I've never met anyone who owned a large snake that didn't have some sort of major personality disorder.

THIS.

Wow players, conspiracy theorist, wiccans, gun nuts and Ron Paul supporters.
Dweebs, wasteoids, sportos, ...All think he's a righteous dude.

I can never see a list of stereotypes without thinking of Ferris Bueller.

 
Where's Farkdo 2009-07-02 01:49:06 PM  
My trouser snake never hurt anyone

/one of my regrets

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 01:49:36 PM  
img4.imageshack.us

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:50:31 PM  
theorellior: lukelightning: Or perhaps Canadianloon and I think exactly alike.

Too bad you were a minute sixteen from an identical simulpost.


Well, I was born one minute and sixteen seconds before canadianloon was.

 
Typhoid 2009-07-02 01:51:37 PM  
ShamanGator: Idiot.

I'd say worse things about him, but he's got to live with himself for the rest of his life, and that's probably punishment enough, so I'll stop at "idiot".

No kidding. He finds the snake loose & then just puts it back & goes to bed. I find any of my critters out I'd make sure they need an engineering degree to escape a second time. Then I could go to bed.


THIS to the nth degree. The one and only time my 6-ft boa got out I put it in an enclosure so secure I had to put some serious work just into feeding it and changing its water. Then once it became so big I knew I wouldn't be able to defeat it, it went bye-bye.

 
Alleyoop 2009-07-02 01:52:16 PM  
Hello, 911? Guess what I'm tired of.

www.theage.com.au

 
dangerdoug 2009-07-02 01:53:30 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


Check.. Check.. and Check...

Oh, I'm sorry... I thought this was match.com {Unless you being serious... Then ;-) }

 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:54:22 PM  
Pmoon: cowgirl toffee: People... you don't need pythons around that will kill somebody.

If you really want a snake that would strangle you, all you need is one that could fit around your neck.

Actually not how they do it sugar, they squeeze you much lower down so that you can't breath. Don't even wrap around a rat, one proper pinch does it.


Regardless, I still think snakes should not be allowed as pets.
Guess you could get a snake the size of a worm to bring about choking results.

Anyway... thanks for the info, sweet cheeks. :)

 
SlothB77 2009-07-02 01:54:47 PM  
LineNoise: Now if thats not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:

put the shirt back on please.

 
TheWizard 2009-07-02 01:55:08 PM  
DogS laughter: Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.


I think a bit of the problem is that you are using pets as a synonym for 'companion'.

I'd easily say that almost anything can be a pet, but that very few animals can be considered companions.

 
Gemcee 2009-07-02 01:55:23 PM  
Hey, this was in FLorida, where the FARK in the Florida tag?

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:55:53 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

 
Sarsin 2009-07-02 01:56:09 PM  
That is why I don't own a pet that can and/or would eat me. As said previously, my cat probably would but I trust cats to make rational decisions. Like "Well, I could eat him but I could only eat so much before he went bad. But if I suck up every so often he'll feed me forever."

 
wruley 2009-07-02 01:56:26 PM  
This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15

 
Emrick 2009-07-02 01:56:28 PM  
Is the Florida tag in court today or something?

 
Noexit 2009-07-02 01:56:29 PM  
Rose Red: Mommy needs the kawk so it doesn't matter what's wrong with the owner of said kawk. Happens every day.

You know, I'm gonna "THIS", just because I see it every frickin' day.

 
DrewCurtisJr 2009-07-02 01:57:06 PM  
Darnell, 32, told investigators he got a knife and began stabbing the snake, and it slithered away under a dresser.

Knife or sword? Large snakes and sword collections, can't have one without the other.

 
GT_bike 2009-07-02 01:57:38 PM  
Wodan11: boyvoyeur: A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

99.8% of cats don't fit that description.

You obviously have never owned any cats or are unempathetic. Cats return the empathy of the owner. Dogs, meanwhile, will be social regardless of the empathy of the owner. (Unless specifically trained otherwise, of course. Hello Michael Vick.)

Back to TFA, this just pisses me off. Anybody who keeps a predator in their home along with suitable prey they they don't want to be prey is a moran.


And you've obviously never been owned by a cat which alternately hisses at you then 30 minutes later stolls by for a quick head scratch only to snap a bite on said hand, and then lie behind your head on the couch purring 2 hours later.

Empathy? Hell I've never even beat him, yelled at or kicked him LOL he came to us with the personality he has which is "I don't need you and you don't get to have me, FOOD 2x per day or next time I'll puncture the skin on your hand".

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 01:58:36 PM  
SlothB77: LineNoise: Now if thats not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:

put the shirt back on please.


His Three Wolves Howling is in the wash.

 
blazemongr 2009-07-02 02:00:07 PM  
Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

Oh, lizards are nice enough, provided they're well-fed on a constant basis. But you're right: they lack the mammalian instinct to care for their own children or parents, let alone their owners. A dog will transfer its instinct for pack loyalty to a human. Snakes won't. People keep them because they're interesting and different, not because they make their owners feel loved.

 
Parthenogenetic 2009-07-02 02:01:37 PM  
LineNoise: The pictures fox news had of the guy comforting his wife were priceless...

Now if thats not a classy looking family,I don't know what is:


Not to mention:

img269.imageshack.us

 
Mongo cut wood 2009-07-02 02:02:09 PM  
If you have small children, don't have pets that could strangle or eat them.

I don't understand the need to keep such weird pets like snake, alligators, etc..

 
theoriginalslash 2009-07-02 02:02:34 PM  
Who could have foreseen that having a large predator in the same house as a small, vulnerable child could lead to tragedy?

Pit bulls, pythons... it's too bad more states don't allow people to keep big cats and bears in their homes, we'd be treated to stories about parents playing tug-of-war with their carnivorous pets using their children's lifeless bodies.

I think your kid almost getting eaten by a pet is nature's way of saying "Don't breed," but that's just me.

 
Molavian 2009-07-02 02:02:50 PM  
lukelightning: His Three Wolves Howling is in the wash.

I just picked one of those up today. It's going to be a sweet casual Friday next week.

 
Sarsin 2009-07-02 02:02:58 PM  
wruley: This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15


I always find dog instinct fascinating. We have a German/Australian shepherd mix, and at night he does "rounds" every 2 hours or so. He checks every bedroom and the front entryway like a security guard would.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 02:03:24 PM  
Had a tank full of alligator lizards one summer, was keeping them for a preschool over the summer. They will never be your friend, ever, no way, no how. I'd take any snake over a lizard.

 
avictor 2009-07-02 02:03:45 PM  
These adults needs to be charged with murder. Period.

Our sick society has people who kill their own children. We need to charge the parents with murder otherwise this could be a way to kill an unwanted child without getting nabbed for murder.

Just get a big ass snake and let it crush them to death. The step-mom did not sound like a mourning parent at all. Maybe she put the snake in the child's crib for all we know.

The woman didn't seem to devastated by it: described him as a "great dad" "He's devastated about this," she said.
He outta be and she should as well!

I would be unable to speak at all.

What a horrible tragedy.
If only life had an undo button.

Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt.
That poor dear child who got squeezed to death.

This is exactly why children cry at night when forced to sleep alone in their cribs.
They are scared if something were to happen they cannot protect themselves. If someone wants to force the issue of their child sleeping alone the least they could do is not keep animals in the home that can kill them!

Society sees leaving their child alone at night as the civilized thing to do. How about not bringing the wild into the home then.
Boy this makes me mad.

Although I love pets, I would NEVER have a snake in my home or any non-domesticated animal that could kill my child.

They need to send a message and nab both parents for child endangerment for the other 2 still alive as well. I say charge the guy and woman with homicide for the dead child.

I won't go as far as to say owning such a snake should be illegal
I don't like the government taking up that much power in the personal lives of others.

But the consequences of even putting another in danger needs to be so high it would not be worth owning one to most people.

That includes the snake getting out of the home should be a felony even if no one gets hurt and the owner has a permit.

The snakes living conditions should be checked once a year to renew any permits and the owner needs to pay fees to have the permit renewed that cover the cost of someone having to drive over and check on it.

 
sendnoodz 2009-07-02 02:04:21 PM  
OK am I the only one calling potential shenagins on this story?

Growing up I used to work in exotic pet stores and zoo's and have way more then a basic understanding of herpetology. I have worked with many Burmese pythons over the years and a lot about this story does not make sense to me. The first thing that strikes me funny about this incident is why the python would be in the babys crib, this was most likely a captive bred animal and has been raised as a "pet" for many years, its diet is mostly like either live or frozen feeder rats, and from the look of the snake in the picture it was in good health and did not appear to be underfed, so if the snake did out it would not be actively searching for food and if in fact the snake did somehow decide to climb up into a crib with a baby rather then find someplace dark to hide in the baby would be way too large for the snake to eat and the snake would know this you can see from the size of the snake that there is now way a Burmese python that size could eat a two year old child, a Burmese python is not going to try to constrict something it cant eat, if it feels threaten it will bite then try to get away. Now if for some reason the snake did in fact try to eat this baby which is the only way it would constrict it and kill, it would strike first (bite) then wrap its body around the baby, this bite would be very painful and the baby would immediately wake up and start crying and screaming and the constriction process takes a bit of time, as the snakes victim breaths out the snake wraps tighter and tighter until its prey can no longer breath this can take many minutes so someone would have had to have heard this happening, yet they say they found the baby dead in the morning and that it had been crushed by the snake.

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 02:04:27 PM  
theoriginalslash:
Pit bulls, pythons...


Ah-hah! The true culprit is the letter "P"!

 
DieselChick [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:05:43 PM  
This story really upset me, especially thinking about that poor child's last few moments. Waking up, then struggling, terrified, no one coming to help, then slowly suffocating ... yes the boyfriend will be 'punished' by his own conscience, but that doesn't mean he doesn't also deserve punishment for such blatant idiocy.

 
vandelay 2009-07-02 02:06:11 PM  
The toddler, Shaiunna Hare

Can't blame the snake, he thought she was a rabbit.

 
GT_bike 2009-07-02 02:07:23 PM  
theorellior: lukelightning: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

canadianloon: Wrong. I learned from the movie Anaconda and its sequels that constrictors kill you with bad writing.

Do we have an alt unmasked here?


exactly what I was thinking

 
NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET 2009-07-02 02:07:52 PM  
C'mon, the snake was just giving the kid a hug.

Where's gate 666 again

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 02:08:15 PM  
sendnoodz: OK am I the only one calling potential shenagins on this story?

Growing up I used to work in exotic pet stores and zoo's and have way more then a basic understanding of herpetology. I have worked with many Burmese pythons over the years and a lot about this story does not make sense to me. The first thing that strikes me funny about this incident is why the python would be in the babys crib, this was most likely a captive bred animal and has been raised as a "pet" for many years, its diet is mostly like either live or frozen feeder rats, and from the look of the snake in the picture it was in good health and did not appear to be underfed, so if the snake did out it would not be actively searching for food and if in fact the snake did somehow decide to climb up into a crib with a baby rather then find someplace dark to hide in the baby would be way too large for the snake to eat and the snake would know this you can see from the size of the snake that there is now way a Burmese python that size could eat a two year old child, a Burmese python is not going to try to constrict something it cant eat, if it feels threaten it will bite then try to get away. Now if for some reason the snake did in fact try to eat this baby which is the only way it would constrict it and kill, it would strike first (bite) then wrap its body around the baby, this bite would be very painful and the baby would immediately wake up and start crying and screaming and the constriction process takes a bit of time, as the snakes victim breaths out the snake wraps tighter and tighter until its prey can no longer breath this can take many minutes so someone would have had to have heard this happening, yet they say they found the baby dead in the morning and that it had been crushed by the snake.

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.


I really hate to say it but I thought the same thing.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:08:51 PM  
R.A.Danny: How is this for freedom- Everyone can have all the snakes, baboons, and pit bulls they want, but they need to cut off the little pricks they are compensating for so they can't procreate.

Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:10:12 PM  
mfaby: DogS laughter 2009-07-02 10:08:27 AM
At least he found it before it had time to eat the poor kid.

Yeah, I thought that, too.


And just to tick-off a whole bunch of people:

'It's not the snake's fault, it's the owner's,
just like with pit bulls'

Believe it or not, some animals are dangerous and shouldn't be kept as pets.

Idiots.


Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 02:10:33 PM  
I blame Sir Mix-a-lot.

 
Rubber Biscuit 2009-07-02 02:11:34 PM  
"Great" must have regional meanings different from where I live.

 
ca beach runner 2009-07-02 02:11:41 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


I realize this was subtle, but I'm still suprised you didn't get any bites from putting 1 over 2. Unless this counts as a bite. Whoa.

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 02:12:20 PM  
C'mon, the snake was just giving the kid a hug.

Where's gate 666 again

 
theorellior 2009-07-02 02:13:38 PM  
spacechicken170am: - 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

To be sure, there are a *lot* more cribs than pit bulls.

 
Ambitwistor 2009-07-02 02:13:46 PM  
The snake was also great. "Great" meaning "large" or "immense".

/used in the pejorative sense

 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:13:59 PM  
lukelightning: C'mon, the snake was just giving the kid a hug.

Where's gate 666 again


Their need for hugs cause snakes to get a bad wrap.

 
Ringtailed79 2009-07-02 02:14:52 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


I meet your criteria.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 02:14:57 PM  
cowgirl toffee: lukelightning: C'mon, the snake was just giving the kid a hug.

Where's gate 666 again

Their need for hugs cause snakes to get a bad wrap.


excellent

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 02:15:11 PM  
The snake was also great. "Great" meaning "large" or "immense".

/used in the pejorative sense

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:15:44 PM  
theoriginalslash: Who could have foreseen that having a large predator in the same house as a small, vulnerable child could lead to tragedy?

Pit bulls, pythons... it's too bad more states don't allow people to keep big cats and bears in their homes, we'd be treated to stories about parents playing tug-of-war with their carnivorous pets using their children's lifeless bodies.

I think your kid almost getting eaten by a pet is nature's way of saying "Don't breed," but that's just me.


Pomeranian Kills 6-Week-Old Girl
September 21, 2001

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A small Pomeranian dog killed a 6-week-old baby while the infant's caretaker briefly left the child unattended to warm a bottle of milk, authorities said.

The relative, who was caring for the infant girl, found her head buried in the dog's mouth Saturday night, sheriff's Deputy Cruz Solis said. The girl died of head trauma at an area hospital, he said.

The baby's name was withheld because her parents were out of the country and had not been notified, Solis said.

The relative has not been charged. Animal control officers took the dog.

Pomeranians are a breed of miniature canines that have a foxlike face, pointy ears and long, fluffy hair. The deputy said Pomeranian attacks are rare.

``Obviously it doesn't take much to kill a 6-week old baby but it's not something that happens with that breed,' Solis said.

 
Fibber McLiarson 2009-07-02 02:16:58 PM  
spacechicken170am: Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs


OK, but what about the fact that they're UGLIER THAN HOMEMADE FARKING SIN?

 
radinator 2009-07-02 02:17:45 PM  
spacechicken170am:
- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.
- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.
- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.
- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.
- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.
- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT
- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs
- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs


Sure, deaths aren't that common.

But how many times has an aspirin mauled someone?
Faulty cribs?
Palm trees?
Bathtubs?
...

//Haven't yet seen a pit-bull owner who doesn't seem to be trying to compensate for a small penis and trying to look street tough.

 
NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET 2009-07-02 02:17:46 PM  
cowgirl toffee: lukelightning: C'mon, the snake was just giving the kid a hug.

Where's gate 666 again

Their need for hugs cause snakes to get a bad wrap.


Well done!

 
holmer 2009-07-02 02:18:35 PM  
sigdiamond2000: I've never met anyone who owned a large snake that didn't have some sort of major personality disorder.

This! All of the reptile owners I have met, couldn't understand dog owners talking to their dogs and expecting results.
Sometimes the gap is too wide!

 
Emrick 2009-07-02 02:19:19 PM  
spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:20:40 PM  
Emrick: What point do you think you are making?

Keep your medicine cabinet locked.

/duh

 
gulogulo 2009-07-02 02:20:48 PM  
I will make judgments on what pets should and should not be kept. Burmese pythons, for a multitude of reason, should not be pets. Should be no where in the US but a zoo. The pet trade in them is why Florida is having such a huge problem now.

 
rka 2009-07-02 02:21:22 PM  
My college roommate had a Burmese python. We had a big wooden crate built for it, made out of 2x4's and plexi-glass for the front. When it got to be around 7-8ft in length, it would just brace itself against the back of the cage, bow the plexi-glass out and then slither on its merry way around our place.

After one too many nights coming home from the bar and having to hunt down a potentially hungry Burmese python in your closet later, he gave the snake to the zoo. Damn thing loved curling up in the clothes basket I kept in my closet.

It was fun when it was smaller and you could bring it out at parties, but when it starts tracking your every movement anytime you get near the cage in the hopes of getting fed, well, it's time to move on.

 
Impasse 2009-07-02 02:22:26 PM  
You should use Ruby, not Python, due to Ruby's POLS (Principle of Least Strangulation)

 
ShamanGator 2009-07-02 02:22:52 PM  
sendnoodz: OK am I the only one calling potential shenagins on this story?

Growing up I used to work in exotic pet stores and zoo's and have way more then a basic understanding of herpetology. I have worked with many Burmese pythons over the years and a lot about this story does not make sense to me. The first thing that strikes me funny about this incident is why the python would be in the babys crib, this was most likely a captive bred animal and has been raised as a "pet" for many years, its diet is mostly like either live or frozen feeder rats, and from the look of the snake in the picture it was in good health and did not appear to be underfed, so if the snake did out it would not be actively searching for food and if in fact the snake did somehow decide to climb up into a crib with a baby rather then find someplace dark to hide in the baby would be way too large for the snake to eat and the snake would know this you can see from the size of the snake that there is now way a Burmese python that size could eat a two year old child, a Burmese python is not going to try to constrict something it cant eat, if it feels threaten it will bite then try to get away. Now if for some reason the snake did in fact try to eat this baby which is the only way it would constrict it and kill, it would strike first (bite) then wrap its body around the baby, this bite would be very painful and the baby would immediately wake up and start crying and screaming and the constriction process takes a bit of time, as the snakes victim breaths out the snake wraps tighter and tighter until its prey can no longer breath this can take many minutes so someone would have had to have heard this happening, yet they say they found the baby dead in the morning and that it had been crushed by the snake.

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.

I really hate to say it but I thought the same thing.


I also wondered what caused it to strike a sleeping anything. When I feed my ball python I need to make the rat look alive & have it move. Snakes have bad eye site & strike at the movement of the prey.

Many strange questions to be answered here.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:23:32 PM  
Fibber McLiarson: spacechicken170am: Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs

OK, but what about the fact that they're UGLIER THAN HOMEMADE FARKING SIN?


Well that depends. Some people dock their ears and tails and put them on exercise routines so they look like an east german swimmer from the good ol days. The natural look for an ABPT isn't bad at all. They are a big terrier. They are smart and can be trained pretty easily. Granted most pitbulls are owned by idiots with small weeners there are a lot of people who want a big dog that's not as dumb as a bag of rocks. I'd prefer if pitbulls were not banned but regulated. I think all large male dogs not kept by breeders should be required to be neutered. They are rrespnsible for over 80% of dog bite fatalities.

caninecoalition.com

//what a pitbull should look like

 
holmer 2009-07-02 02:23:52 PM  
tasthesose2: notmtwain: I heard some python guys used to nail their pets to their perch. That might have helped in this case.

Ya but that is strictly for the Norwegian Blues. Beautiful plumage on them but if you dont nail them down they will muscle open the bars and fly right out of the cage

/cheese shop is my 2nd favorite


Cheese shop is the best followed by the undertaker IMNSHO.

 
Point02GPA [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:24:48 PM  
Can you feed python snakes cats and pit bulls?

 
origami_girl [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:25:00 PM  
Typhoid: Then once it became so big I knew I wouldn't be able to defeat it, it went bye-bye.

What did you do with it? Are there rescue organizations for snakes that got too big? I am just curious.

 
maxximillian 2009-07-02 02:25:02 PM  
A quote from the great father:
"our stupid snake got out in the middle of the night and strangled the baby!"

Shouldn't it be more like: our THE stupid snake got out in the middle of the night and strangled the OUR baby!"

Maybe I pay attention too much to the smallest details of a persons words but that just seems to be a bad way to word things. Like your priorities are all wrong. Course in this case I think the priorities were all wrong.

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:25:35 PM  
I agree. Fat f*ck dad, and/or fat f*ck mom rolled over on the kid while she was sleeping in their bed. Both too drunk to be roused by her squirms and cries. When they come to, she's dead. Put the body in the crib, stab the snake and call 911.

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 02:25:41 PM  
Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?


Lock your pit bull in the medicine closet or it will drug and rape you...

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:26:04 PM  
radinator: spacechicken170am:
- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.
- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.
- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.
- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.
- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.
- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT
- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs
- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs

Sure, deaths aren't that common.

But how many times has an aspirin mauled someone?
Faulty cribs?
Palm trees?
Bathtubs?
...

//Haven't yet seen a pit-bull owner who doesn't seem to be trying to compensate for a small penis and trying to look street tough.


apbt.files.wordpress.com

/yeah, she's hung like a tic tac

 
voodoohotdog 2009-07-02 02:26:51 PM  
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 10:45:08 AM
I've never met anyone who owned a large snake that didn't have some sort of major personality disorder.

Agreed.

One of my room mates in university had snakes. And cars with long hoods. And long guns. (no pistols thank you) And motorcycles.

Dude was so over compensating it was ridiculous.

One thing I did learn from looking after them while he was a away. Pythons will kill if it gets in its way. May not even eat it.

 
Devil's Playground [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:26:57 PM  
i674.photobucket.com

Miss Jones Approves

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:27:36 PM  
spacechicken170am: she's hung like a tic tac

Dude, that's her brain.

 
peachgirl 2009-07-02 02:27:37 PM  
spacechicken170am:

Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs


How many people have pit bulls? I can think of two in the thousands of people I know.
How many people use medicine, go outside, put their baby in a crib, take baths, have adults watching children, etc.?
I'm not saying pitbulls are bad. All of the ones I've met have been nice. Just saying your proofs of things more likely to kill people are things that more people do, more often, than own a pitbull.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:28:51 PM  
Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?


How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 02:29:16 PM  
spacechicken170am: theoriginalslash: Who could have foreseen that having a large predator in the same house as a small, vulnerable child could lead to tragedy?

Pit bulls, pythons... it's too bad more states don't allow people to keep big cats and bears in their homes, we'd be treated to stories about parents playing tug-of-war with their carnivorous pets using their children's lifeless bodies.

I think your kid almost getting eaten by a pet is nature's way of saying "Don't breed," but that's just me.

Pomeranian Kills 6-Week-Old Girl
September 21, 2001

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A small Pomeranian dog killed a 6-week-old baby while the infant's caretaker briefly left the child unattended to warm a bottle of milk, authorities said.

The relative, who was caring for the infant girl, found her head buried in the dog's mouth Saturday night, sheriff's Deputy Cruz Solis said. The girl died of head trauma at an area hospital, he said.

The baby's name was withheld because her parents were out of the country and had not been notified, Solis said.

The relative has not been charged. Animal control officers took the dog.

Pomeranians are a breed of miniature canines that have a foxlike face, pointy ears and long, fluffy hair. The deputy said Pomeranian attacks are rare.

``Obviously it doesn't take much to kill a 6-week old baby but it's not something that happens with that breed,' Solis said.


6 wk olds have soft, squishable heads.

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 02:30:03 PM  
spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?


Investors?

 
Infernal Wedgie 2009-07-02 02:30:42 PM  
spacechicken170am: R.A.Danny: How is this for freedom- Everyone can have all the snakes, baboons, and pit bulls they want, but they need to cut off the little pricks they are compensating for so they can't procreate.

Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs


Bnd should you be attacked by a dog, what is the relative risk that dog would happen to be a pit bull???

I'm a caniphobic statistician, and I disapprove of your statistical shenanigans.
/willing to bet RR>1

 
trueaustinite 2009-07-02 02:30:43 PM  
I dated this girl back in grad school. She had a couple of cats. She thought it was really cute how they would bat little objects around and simulate capturing and killing things.

She told me they loved her. I told her they didn't and explained that she would dead as farkin' fried chicken if she were to suddenly become two inches tall.

This caused her to have thoughts that she was uncomfortable with. So, like a typically narrow-minded person (she was but she was really hot) she ignored me altogether on this issue.

 
lukelightning 2009-07-02 02:33:18 PM  
Point02GPA: Can you feed python snakes cats and pit bulls?

First you feed the cat to the pit bull, then feed the pit bull to the snake. Then deep fry the whole thing. It's a Southern delicacy called pitsnakat.

 
John Buck 41 2009-07-02 02:33:32 PM  
RandomExcess: A snake ate my baby! (NZ accent)

Well...maybe. (Elaine Benes accent)

 
StopArrestingMe [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:34:35 PM  
As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".

 
syntaxic 2009-07-02 02:34:45 PM  
spacechicken170am:
//what a pitbull should look like


Agree 100%. They look so much better if people don't fark with the ears and tails.

In regards to speculation that maybe the python wasn't responsible for the death, I'm sure if that's the case an autopsy will show that. After all, I'm sure there's a great difference in trauma between being crushed by a snake and whatever else people think may have happened.

 
vandelay 2009-07-02 02:35:02 PM  
origami_girl: Typhoid: Then once it became so big I knew I wouldn't be able to defeat it, it went bye-bye.

What did you do with it? Are there rescue organizations for snakes that got too big? I am just curious.


img197.imageshack.us">

 
gulogulo 2009-07-02 02:35:55 PM  
sendnoodz: OK am I the only one calling potential shenagins on this story?

Growing up I used to work in exotic pet stores and zoo's and have way more then a basic understanding of herpetology. I have worked with many Burmese pythons over the years and a lot about this story does not make sense to me. The first thing that strikes me funny about this incident is why the python would be in the babys crib, this was most likely a captive bred animal and has been raised as a "pet" for many years, its diet is mostly like either live or frozen feeder rats, and from the look of the snake in the picture it was in good health and did not appear to be underfed, so if the snake did out it would not be actively searching for food and if in fact the snake did somehow decide to climb up into a crib with a baby rather then find someplace dark to hide in the baby would be way too large for the snake to eat and the snake would know this you can see from the size of the snake that there is now way a Burmese python that size could eat a two year old child, a Burmese python is not going to try to constrict something it cant eat, if it feels threaten it will bite then try to get away. Now if for some reason the snake did in fact try to eat this baby which is the only way it would constrict it and kill, it would strike first (bite) then wrap its body around the baby, this bite would be very painful and the baby would immediately wake up and start crying and screaming and the constriction process takes a bit of time, as the snakes victim breaths out the snake wraps tighter and tighter until its prey can no longer breath this can take many minutes so someone would have had to have heard this happening, yet they say they found the baby dead in the morning and that it had been crushed by the snake.

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.


Potential shennanigans, sure..anything is possible. Snakes do take on very large prey, and the size of that snake isn't completely out of the realm of taking a small toddler. It's impossible to tell its condition merely by its picture, or when its last meal was. They are opportunistic animals, not specialists, so that it always fed on mice and rats does not mean it is all it will feed on. Might of it bitten off more than it could chew? Sure, that happens too in the animal world. Also, the constriction process initially is /very/ fast, if you've seen it done. The snake needs to quickly immobilize it's prey to keep it from thrashing and hurting it in its death throws. The dying may be slow but the constriction is fast, and could in theory have kept the girl from drawing in enough breath to scream. Maybe she did make noise. maybe her parents were too drunk to hear.

There's a lot of maybes, and death-by-snake is by no means completely ruled out here. The autopsy, of course, will tell the tale.

 
davynelson 2009-07-02 02:37:44 PM  
wow

any parent that even has a cat or dog around babies/toddlers
is upping the risk factor by ten

any parent that has a burmese python around babies/toddlers
should be put to sleep for being too stupid to spawn

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:37:53 PM  
syntaxic: I'm sure there's a great difference in trauma between being crushed by a snake and whatever else people think may have happened.

Crushed between 2 giant fat ass pieces of white trash? I bet Quincy would be hard pressed to tell the difference.

 
fatcurlytoes 2009-07-02 02:38:26 PM  
R.A.Danny: How is this for freedom- Everyone can have all the snakes, baboons, and pit bulls they want, but they need to cut off the little pricks they are compensating for so they can't procreate.

Your newsletter, please.

 
upright_apes_r_us 2009-07-02 02:38:26 PM  
My right to do, to use, to obtain, or possess anything does not supersedes my responsibility to insure a child's best interests are not diminished by such acts.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:38:56 PM  
Infernal Wedgie: spacechicken170am: R.A.Danny: How is this for freedom- Everyone can have all the snakes, baboons, and pit bulls they want, but they need to cut off the little pricks they are compensating for so they can't procreate.

Over the 37-year period from 1965-2001, pit bulls have been blamed for an average of 2.48 human fatalities per year.

- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.

- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.

- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.

- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.

- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT

- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs

- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs

Bnd should you be attacked by a dog, what is the relative risk that dog would happen to be a pit bull???

I'm a caniphobic statistician, and I disapprove of your statistical shenanigans.
/willing to bet RR>1


That depends are you actually going to define a pitbull as a pitbull or are you going to call anything with broad shoulders a pitbull type dog. The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog. See the trick is to lump all 42 of those breeds together into 1 breed. Then you list them along side other breeds consisting of 1 and only 1 breed. This greatly inflates the numbers. I disapprove of pitbull bite statistic shenanigans.

 
Penguin Death Squads 2009-07-02 02:40:46 PM  
Aww man, i submitted this with a FL tag AND

 
vandelay 2009-07-02 02:40:52 PM  
maxximillian: A quote from the great father:
"our stupid snake got out in the middle of the night and strangled the baby!"

Shouldn't it be more like: our THE stupid snake got out in the middle of the night and strangled the OUR baby!"

Maybe I pay attention too much to the smallest details of a persons words but that just seems to be a bad way to word things. Like your priorities are all wrong. Course in this case I think the priorities were all wrong.


I think he wants to give the impression that is was "our" snake, not "my" snake, in order to avoid full liability. I'm sure he spent some time after the kid died convincing the babby-mama that "we both thought the snake was cool to keep in the house, you know that."

 
John Buck 41 2009-07-02 02:41:01 PM  
Jackpot777: budsterr: That's some fine liberal parenting there, idiot. I hope he goes to prison and gets to meet someone's black mamba.

Gainesville? In Alachua County? These people may look like a lot of things, but University of Florida alumni isn't one of them.

He doesn't sound like college material, either (new window, 911 call in the video).


Ok, snarkiness aside, I do feel sorry for that family.

I wouldn't mind having a snake, but Mrs. Buck says 'negative'. Hate to use cliches, but as they say, "when Mrs. Buck is happy, everyone's happy."

 
Penguin Death Squads 2009-07-02 02:41:34 PM  
Penguin Death Squads: Aww man, i submitted this with a FL tag AND

a funnier headline.
/stupid me and enter key.

 
vandelay 2009-07-02 02:42:26 PM  
upright_apes_r_us: My right to do, to use, to obtain, or possess anything does not supersedes my responsibility to insure a child's best interests are not diminished by such acts.

Give the guy a break, it wasn't even his kid. Mom should've protected her child.

 
gulogulo 2009-07-02 02:42:46 PM  
StopArrestingMe: As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".

Things that fly?

 
asmodeusazarak 2009-07-02 02:43:31 PM  
DogS laughter: S

I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.


I had an iguana years ago that was a lot smarter and had a lot more personality than you might imagine. He was a great pet in every sense until he hit sexual maturity and then he got a little aggressive. Never real bad, but I no longer trusted him sitting on my shoulder and running around all the time. At least with iguanas there are definitely a lot of "pet" aspects, but in my experience cold blooded creatures have less ability to learn to over-ride instincts than most higher mammal pets do, but it also might just be the many hundreds of generations of domestication most typical mammalian "pet" species have been through.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:43:32 PM  
spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?


Tell that to my blue heeler who was killed by one while we were on a vacation.
Tell that to my buddy's blue heeler that was killed by a pit bull that grew up with the heeler, then suddenly turned.
Tell that to my friend's Silky who had the skin shook off it when a Pitbull attacked it at a dog park.
Tell that to my friend who has a daughter that played with the pitbull all the time since it was a pup, until one day it turned on the little girl and mauled her arm.
Tell that to ME after a pitbull chased me down on a scooter.

That was all with in the span of 3 years.
Rare my ass.

 
Donor 2009-07-02 02:44:52 PM  
radinator: spacechicken170am:
- You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.
- 25 times more children a killed by faulty cribs the total number of children and adults killed by pit bulls.
- You are more than 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree than a pit bull.
- You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull.
- A child is more than 800 times more likely to be killed by their adult caretaker than by a pit bull.
- Medication errors cause 7000 Deaths per year.. so you're 3000 times more likely to be killed by your medication than an APBT
- An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors... 87000 times higher than fatalities by APBTs
- National Weather Service reports that over the last 30 years the U.S. has averaged 62 reported lightning fatalities per year.. 30 times more than those by APBTs

Sure, deaths aren't that common.

But how many times has an aspirin mauled someone?
Faulty cribs?
Palm trees?
Bathtubs?
...

//Haven't yet seen a pit-bull owner who doesn't seem to be trying to compensate for a small penis and trying to look street tough.


My GF, while on the way to work one day, saw a red-nose pit running through traffic. She got out of her car, got the dog out of traffic, and into the back seat of her car. She dumped it off at my apartment then went to work. I gave it a bath and found a friend that was willing to take her in and she has been living happily ever since. She doesn't need to be on a chain, she has trained very well since my friend took after looking after her.

Then again maybe these killer pit bulls have a soft spot for blonde white women, or slightly PO'd BFs that have to give them a bath at 8 in the morning so they don't stink up the house, or random Joe whoever that decides to take them in and take care of them.

 
plastroncafe 2009-07-02 02:45:33 PM  
As a reptile owner, I can assure you I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

 
Resin33 2009-07-02 02:45:34 PM  
They were talking about this case on the local radio today and the guy's brother in law called in.

Apparently it is the wife's snake, not his. He was just the one that found it wrapped around the kid. Also, it was kept in a large aquarium with a piece of wood up top with stuff stacked on top of it.

This apparently is very heartbreaking for the guy cause he lost a child a few years ago to spinal meningitis or something. The 911 call is very sad, too.

 
chetbango 2009-07-02 02:45:53 PM  
sendnoodz: OK am I the only one calling potential shenagins on this story?

Growing up I used to work in exotic pet stores and zoo's and have way more then a basic understanding of herpetology. I have worked with many Burmese pythons over the years and a lot about this story does not make sense to me. The first thing that strikes me funny about this incident is why the python would be in the babys crib, this was most likely a captive bred animal and has been raised as a "pet" for many years, its diet is mostly like either live or frozen feeder rats, and from the look of the snake in the picture it was in good health and did not appear to be underfed, so if the snake did out it would not be actively searching for food and if in fact the snake did somehow decide to climb up into a crib with a baby rather then find someplace dark to hide in the baby would be way too large for the snake to eat and the snake would know this you can see from the size of the snake that there is now way a Burmese python that size could eat a two year old child, a Burmese python is not going to try to constrict something it cant eat, if it feels threaten it will bite then try to get away. Now if for some reason the snake did in fact try to eat this baby which is the only way it would constrict it and kill, it would strike first (bite) then wrap its body around the baby, this bite would be very painful and the baby would immediately wake up and start crying and screaming and the constriction process takes a bit of time, as the snakes victim breaths out the snake wraps tighter and tighter until its prey can no longer breath this can take many minutes so someone would have had to have heard this happening, yet they say they found the baby dead in the morning and that it had been crushed by the snake.

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.


I thought something similar, although I don't know much about snakes, just that an 8foot snake would have a hard time eating a toddler.

 
Bob16 2009-07-02 02:46:09 PM  
I found it amusing that he called the snake stupid.

 
Emrick 2009-07-02 02:47:38 PM  
spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?


The number of pitbulls in the country is tiny compared to the number of aspirin doses taken every year. You may want to recalculate your risk equation.

 
ocelot 2009-07-02 02:48:17 PM  
Pit bulls are great! (for target practice)

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 02:48:31 PM  
Resin33: They were talking about this case on the local radio today and the guy's brother in law called in.

Apparently it is the wife's snake, not his. He was just the one that found it wrapped around the kid. Also, it was kept in a large aquarium with a piece of wood up top with stuff stacked on top of it.

This apparently is very heartbreaking for the guy cause he lost a child a few years ago to spinal meningitis or something. The 911 call is very sad, too.


I heard the 911 call and it did sound very real and very sad. But I still wondered about the circumstances based on my experience with snakes and the comments of others here who are knowledgable.

 
Massa Damnata 2009-07-02 02:48:56 PM  
Incidently, once a large constritor starts to lay itself out lengthwise in your presence, you know that it is measuring itself to see if it is long enough to eat you.

/or so i have heard

 
Donor 2009-07-02 02:49:47 PM  
santadog: spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

Tell that to my blue heeler who was killed by one while we were on a vacation.
Tell that to my buddy's blue heeler that was killed by a pit bull that grew up with the heeler, then suddenly turned.
Tell that to my friend's Silky who had the skin shook off it when a Pitbull attacked it at a dog park.
Tell that to my friend who has a daughter that played with the pitbull all the time since it was a pup, until one day it turned on the little girl and mauled her arm.
Tell that to ME after a pitbull chased me down on a scooter.

That was all with in the span of 3 years.
Rare my ass.


You should be mad at the owners for not training the animal, not the animal for being an animal. Most owners get pitbulls as a "guard-dog", but most lack the ability to effectively train them.

 
Iforgot 2009-07-02 02:49:59 PM  
StopArrestingMe: As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".


Capitalized Words?

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 02:51:07 PM  
Emrick: spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

The number of pitbulls in the country is tiny compared to the number of aspirin doses taken every year. You may want to recalculate your risk equation.


Do you want to recalculate the distance of which the point flew over your head?

 
playdate [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:51:14 PM  
i257.photobucket.com

 
John Buck 41 2009-07-02 02:51:24 PM  
wruley: This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15


We have a 4 y/o maltese/Pekinese mix. Loves us like crazy, but hates/tolerates/likes most other people. Trouble is, she's unpredictable. There's no pattern, whether it's friend/stranger, male/female, young/old. Luckily she loves our 3 y/o grandaughter.

 
krelborne 2009-07-02 02:51:46 PM  
gulogulo: Potential shennanigans, sure..anything is possible. Snakes do take on very large prey, and the size of that snake isn't completely out of the realm of taking a small toddler. It's impossible to tell its condition merely by its picture, or when its last meal was. They are opportunistic animals, not specialists, so that it always fed on mice and rats does not mean it is all it will feed on. Might of it bitten off more than it could chew? Sure, that happens too in the animal world.

Consider the burmese python that took on the alligator

 
pottie 2009-07-02 02:52:39 PM  
Protip:

If the animal could possibly view you as a menu item, it is more likely than not a good candidate as a Pet.

/snakes have no Personality

 
sendnoodz 2009-07-02 02:53:13 PM  
chetbango: sendnoodz: OK am I the only one calling potential shenagins on this story?

Growing up I used to work in exotic pet stores and zoo's and have way more then a basic understanding of herpetology. I have worked with many Burmese pythons over the years and a lot about this story does not make sense to me. The first thing that strikes me funny about this incident is why the python would be in the babys crib, this was most likely a captive bred animal and has been raised as a "pet" for many years, its diet is mostly like either live or frozen feeder rats, and from the look of the snake in the picture it was in good health and did not appear to be underfed, so if the snake did out it would not be actively searching for food and if in fact the snake did somehow decide to climb up into a crib with a baby rather then find someplace dark to hide in the baby would be way too large for the snake to eat and the snake would know this you can see from the size of the snake that there is now way a Burmese python that size could eat a two year old child, a Burmese python is not going to try to constrict something it cant eat, if it feels threaten it will bite then try to get away. Now if for some reason the snake did in fact try to eat this baby which is the only way it would constrict it and kill, it would strike first (bite) then wrap its body around the baby, this bite would be very painful and the baby would immediately wake up and start crying and screaming and the constriction process takes a bit of time, as the snakes victim breaths out the snake wraps tighter and tighter until its prey can no longer breath this can take many minutes so someone would have had to have heard this happening, yet they say they found the baby dead in the morning and that it had been crushed by the snake.

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.

I thought something similar, although I don't know much about snakes, just that an 8foot snake would have a hard time eating a toddler.


Well thats the thing, it would not just have a tough time it would be impossible, and while snakes are not the smartest animals in the world they at least know whether or not something is too big for them to eat, and if the snake was not trying to feed then it would have no reason to constrict the baby and kill it. Like I said this could be some crazy scenario, where this in fact did happen, but my many years of experience with these animals all leaves a lot of questions open, hopefully when they examine the body they will know what to look for, if the baby does not have any bite marks from the snake then there is more then a good possibility that it was not responsible for that child's death

 
BEER_ME_in_CT [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:54:07 PM  
maxximillian: TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)

1)✓
2)✓
3)✓
How you doin?

/I used to live in tally, was happy to see Leon Pub made the list of best bars in fl on some foxnews story this morning.


Another FARK love connection!

/be back in 2 and 2

 
thelessa 2009-07-02 02:54:20 PM  
as a snake owner, I am not getting a kick....

a lot of you have some really weird assumptions going on about me.

Clearly, I am a thoughtless asshole with no regard for the safety of others. I also have a penis deficiency issue.

Thanks from me and the menagerie.

(1 BCI, 1 Bearded Dragon, 1 cat, 1 horse, and 1 Giant Slobbering Dog{Mastiff})

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 02:54:27 PM  
pottie: Protip:

If the animal could possibly view you as a menu item, it is more likely than not a good candidate as a Pet.

/snakes have no Personality


My Lawyah would be an example of that.

 
plastroncafe 2009-07-02 02:55:34 PM  
John Buck 41: wruley: This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15

We have a 4 y/o maltese/Pekinese mix. Loves us like crazy, but hates/tolerates/likes most other people. Trouble is, she's unpredictable. There's no pattern, whether it's friend/stranger, male/female, young/old. Luckily she loves our 3 y/o grandaughter.


Grew up with a pure bread Dalmatian that was pretty much the same way. Far more threatening than any of the turtles I keep now.

Snakes of this size should require license to keep. Not only for the safety of those in the house, but for the health and welfare of the snake.

Seriously? A wooden board over a glass aquarium?

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 02:55:59 PM  
img262.imageshack.us

 
flozell 2009-07-02 02:56:57 PM  
A lot of wharrgarbl up in here, so let me lay down the Wisdom.

Pit Bulls have been systematically bred for generations for the following qualities:

- Athleticism (Muscle)
- Tenacity ('Gameness')
- Aggression towards other dogs and small mammals

Pit Bulls are BY DEFINITION more dangerous than other dogs- they are bred to be. To pretend otherwise is ignorant, disingenuous, or both.

Burmese Pythons are large, carnivorous reptiles. Millions of years of evolution have produced an eight-foot-long muscular predator, feeding primarily on small mammals.

Burmese Pythons are more dangerous than other pets- to pretend otherwise is ignorant, disingenuous, or both.

Keeping a dangerous pet requires diligence and vigilance on the part of the owner, in the following ways:

- Care (Feeding, Health)
- Training
- Management (Physical and Behavioral)

In the case of Pit Bulls, it requires spaying/neutering, proper training and dog socialization, and effective restraint (6-foot fences, leashes, etc.) A failure on any of these fronts runs the risk of tragedy.

In the case of Burmese Pythons, training is not an option. Regular feeding is recommended, and proper lock-and-key restraint is REQUIRED. A failure on either of these fronts runs the risk of tragedy.

The inherent problem with dangerous pets is that the types of people who want to own them tend NOT to be committed to proper vigilance and diligence. (Read: White Trash. There, I said it.) Hence the frequency of tragic incidents involving dangerous pets.

(Full Disclosure: Owner of a 100+ lb. dog with an unknown amount of Pit Bull lineage. I have a 6-foot fence, and he is neutered and does not run free.)

 
John Buck 41 2009-07-02 02:57:02 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


Hey, I used to have a job.

//?

 
Space_Poet 2009-07-02 02:57:24 PM  
Is there an echo in here?

 
gulogulo 2009-07-02 02:58:09 PM  
sendnoodz: my many years of experience with these animals all leaves a lot of questions open

I only question this assessment as exotic pet stores usually sell juvenile or baby Burmese pythons in a very controlled environment. I'm not sure how that tells you that this is impossible by merely looking at a picture (particularly your assumption that it wasn't trying to feed). They do not always know when something is too big for them to handle. Animals do it all the time, taking on something they cannot possibly take down until they learn otherwise. If it appears an easy target, the snake might take the chance. It ultimately may not have been able to get its jaws around it, but it might have tried.

 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:58:26 PM  
The are conducting an autopsy on the 2 yr old girl.

Just exactly... what are they trying to find that they don't already know?

Autopsy Story

They need to do an autopsy on the snake. They might find the neighbor's kids.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:59:06 PM  
Donor:
You should be mad at the owners for not training the animal, not the animal for being an animal. Most owners get pitbulls as a "guard-dog", but most lack the ability to effectively train them.


That's true for the Pit that killed my dog, and for the one that chased me down...

But the others, like my friend whose daughter's arm was mauled... it was a SWEETHEART. Non aggressive, just like the owners. They had it since it's birth. There was nothing to explain why it turned, and it did.

Just like the one that killed my buddy's heeler. SWEETHEART, with non aggressive owners. It just turned.

As for the dog park incident, we have no idea what the owners were really like, but at the scene, my friend says she was told by the owners that "Francie (the pit) NEVER showed any aggression towards another dog before".

 
codewerdna 2009-07-02 02:59:39 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


Pff someone's being too picky.

 
trueaustinite 2009-07-02 03:00:06 PM  
thelessa: (1 BCI, 1 Bearded Dragon, 1 cat, 1 horse, and 1 Giant Slobbering Dog{Mastiff})

Wow. You are really farked up.

 
vandelay 2009-07-02 03:01:33 PM  
img33.imageshack.us

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 03:01:38 PM  
cowgirl toffee: The are conducting an autopsy on the 2 yr old girl.

Just exactly... what are they trying to find that they don't already know?

Autopsy Story

They need to do an autopsy on the snake. They might find the neighbor's kids.


Good Footwork, they say they found "bite marks" so far, this could be real. But still REAL STUPID.

 
krelborne 2009-07-02 03:01:50 PM  
Where's Farkdo: My trouser snake never hurt anyone

/one of my regrets


However, I still recommend keeping it away from toddlers.

 
John Buck 41 2009-07-02 03:02:38 PM  
trueaustinite: I dated this girl back in grad school. She had a couple of cats. She thought it was really cute how they would bat little objects around and simulate capturing and killing things.

She told me they loved her. I told her they didn't and explained that she would dead as farkin' fried chicken if she were to suddenly become two inches tall.


That's just bizarre. You might just as well say that if cats had bewbs and it felt good you would...never mind.

 
ksmell 2009-07-02 03:05:10 PM  
Anyone who names their daughter "Shaiunna" is immediately stricken from the "great dad" list.

/how do you even pronounce that?

 
mycathatesyou 2009-07-02 03:05:35 PM  
reillan: Wait, I'm confused. Who died?

Exactly. Subby fails at making a coherent headline.

 
Gigglecream 2009-07-02 03:06:11 PM  
www.dvdtalk.com

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 03:06:46 PM  
img256.imageshack.us

 
Bob16 2009-07-02 03:07:02 PM  
Rapmaster2000: Ugh. Dangerous animal people. Here's a tip, your python is not substitute for a personality.

Neither are all of the ridiculous yuppie accouterments that you see owning people these days.

But they are still widely abused.

Get a life.

 
thelessa 2009-07-02 03:07:29 PM  
sendnoodz Quote 2009-07-02 02:04:21 PM

I don't think its too far fetched to believe some hilly billy parents might have intentionally or unintentionally killed there kid and then blamed it on the pet snake.


Sadly, it wouldn't surprise me, and it was also my second thought, right after "how stupid could some one be with a large reptile?".

 
John Buck 41 2009-07-02 03:09:11 PM  
ksmell: Anyone who names their daughter "Shaiunna" is immediately stricken from the "great dad" list.

/how do you even pronounce that?


Almost as bad as Chamique.

//Sha-MEEK-wa

 
Donor 2009-07-02 03:11:37 PM  
santadog: Donor:
You should be mad at the owners for not training the animal, not the animal for being an animal. Most owners get pitbulls as a "guard-dog", but most lack the ability to effectively train them.

That's true for the Pit that killed my dog, and for the one that chased me down...

But the others, like my friend whose daughter's arm was mauled... it was a SWEETHEART. Non aggressive, just like the owners. They had it since it's birth. There was nothing to explain why it turned, and it did.

Just like the one that killed my buddy's heeler. SWEETHEART, with non aggressive owners. It just turned.


I wouldn't suspect the kid to be totally innocent. I've seen kids pulll on dogs' ears/legs, take food away from them, and the like which inevitably results in aggression towards the kid. I've seen this in little yipper dogs all the way up to pits. Typically the kid cries and says she didn't do anything, but they know not to pull on a dog's ears anymore for sure.

Pits can be territorial which may explain the dog incident.

But animals are animals, and should be treated as such. I can't stand people that let their little yipper dogs off the leash and act all "she's just a little thing". Worst bite I've ever gotten was from a chihuahua actually, mean little bastards.

 
zabadu 2009-07-02 03:13:59 PM  
img5.imageshack.us
img15.imageshack.us

 
ichironin [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:14:08 PM  
Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

I used to own a boa and it seemed to "know" me from other people. It may have just associated my smell with food, water and shelter/safty. But it would coil up and watch tv with me. It seemed to really like racing, it would way and follow a particular car/bike.

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:17:52 PM  
ichironin: I used to own a boa and it seemed to "know" me from other people. It may have just associated my smell with food, water and shelter/safty. But it would coil up and watch tv with me. It seemed to really like racing, it would way and follow a particular car/bike.

Pass the bong.

 
thelessa 2009-07-02 03:18:32 PM  
trueaustinite Quote 2009-07-02 03:00:06 PM
thelessa: (1 BCI, 1 Bearded Dragon, 1 cat, 1 horse, and 1 Giant Slobbering Dog{Mastiff})

Wow. You are really farked up.




Thanks for noticing. The horse and cat were inherited when my mother passed away. The reptiles had no where else to go. Shelters are too full for either one and the zoo's are full. If the cat and dog could get along, my life would be pretty perfect.

In a perfect world, some one would have realized that the snake could be up to 15 feet and live for 25+ years, but they didn't. The dragon would not have escaped from his owner and ended up in a stranger's backyard. I don't have a testosterone based issue, I have a "hey mom, it followed me home can I keep it issue". I didn't actively purchase any of my animals. I adopted them one way or another. Fortunately for them, I can afford it.

These people clearly couldn't, nor the knowledge required for having good animal husbandry.

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 03:19:07 PM  
img2.timeinc.net

Not a lot of snake love in this room today...

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 03:20:23 PM  
www.bryantchoung.com

Boyfriend needs to man-up

 
Kalashinator 2009-07-02 03:20:49 PM  
DogS laughter: FTFA: Then they took it to an undisclosed wildlife facility, where they planned to have a veterinarian examine it to determine whether it could be saved from its stab wounds.

I thought they always euthanize an animal when a human fatality happens.


Not always (new window)

 
elev8meL8r 2009-07-02 03:20:54 PM  
ksmell: Anyone who names their daughter "Shaiunna" is immediately stricken from the "great dad" list.

/how do you even pronounce that?


I pronounce it "Jennifer."

 
StarshipPooper 2009-07-02 03:22:03 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


What if his job is to be a child molester? You can't have one without the other, come on lady!

 
Torque420 2009-07-02 03:25:00 PM  
What a sad story. I cant wait for Nancy Grace to get ahold of this one.


celebrity-pics.movieeye.com

 
Donor 2009-07-02 03:26:30 PM  
thelessa:

I don't have a testosterone based issue, I have a "hey mom, it followed me home can I keep it issue".

My GF has a monthly, "awe, it is a sweet defenseless animal in need of help" issue. As previously mentioned in this thread, she wrestled a pit bull out of traffic and dropped it in my apartment. At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.

 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:29:44 PM  
elev8meL8r: ksmell: Anyone who names their daughter "Shaiunna" is immediately stricken from the "great dad" list.

/how do you even pronounce that?

I pronounce it "Jennifer."


I thought it was "hey, you".

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:32:22 PM  
DeathByGrace: the little girl was adorable too. If it was an ugly kid, i wouldnt care.
/you know they're out there.


I told my wife, "you'd better not have no ugly baby."

She then assured me that if it happened, it'd be my genetics at play.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:32:57 PM  
Torque420: What a sad story. I cant wait for Nancy Grace to get ahold of this one.

I can't wait for Nancy Grace to get a Burmese python and take a nap.

 
spickus 2009-07-02 03:34:29 PM  
Donor: At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.

Bring him to my house and let him snack on the fire ants in the yard.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:35:16 PM  
Donor: At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.

www.chivian.com
Cerebus approves

 
plewis 2009-07-02 03:36:03 PM  
asmodeus224: Silly white people

who said the dude was white? And what kind of name is "Shaiunna?"

I've lived in Gainesville, and there are plenty of black folks there.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:36:27 PM  
thelessa: The horse and cat were inherited when my mother passed away

Probably a good thing. If it wasn't for your horse, you wouldn't have spent that year in college.

 
PeterPipersPickledPecker 2009-07-02 03:37:09 PM  
cowgirl toffee: elev8meL8r: ksmell: Anyone who names their daughter "Shaiunna" is immediately stricken from the "great dad" list.

/how do you even pronounce that?

I pronounce it "Jennifer."

I thought it was "hey, you".


"No, dad, I'M JesusChrist - HE'S GodDamnit..."

 
gulogulo 2009-07-02 03:37:35 PM  
plewis: asmodeus224: Silly white people

who said the dude was white? And what kind of name is "Shaiunna?"

I've lived in Gainesville, and there are plenty of black folks there.


Well, the pictures did.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 03:38:20 PM  
Donor: thelessa:

I don't have a testosterone based issue, I have a "hey mom, it followed me home can I keep it issue".

My GF has a monthly, "awe, it is a sweet defenseless animal in need of help" issue. As previously mentioned in this thread, she wrestled a pit bull out of traffic and dropped it in my apartment. At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.


My girlfriend's sister was training one for a guy. Since she is unemployed she figured it would be a good way to earn some extra cash. He came over one day and told her she could keep the dog. The next day he killed himself. She is unemployed and behind on her mortgage payment so there's no way she could afford to keep it. I played with the puppy a few times and liked her personality so we bought the pup from her. Now the puppy has a good home and my gf's sister is caught up on her mortgage payment.

 
holmer 2009-07-02 03:40:26 PM  
upright_apes_r_us: My right to do, to use, to obtain, or possess anything does not supersedes my responsibility to insure a child's best interests are not diminished by such acts.

Stop making sense! This is Fark!

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-07-02 03:44:23 PM  
theoriginalslash: Who could have foreseen that having a large predator in the same house as a small, vulnerable child could lead to tragedy?

Pit bulls, pythons... it's too bad more states don't allow people to keep big cats and bears in their homes, we'd be treated to stories about parents playing tug-of-war with their carnivorous pets using their children's lifeless bodies.

I think your kid almost getting eaten by a pet is nature's way of saying "Don't breed," but that's just me.


Referring to the pic of the couple, it looks like she already has a replacement kid on the way ;)

 
canadianloon 2009-07-02 03:44:45 PM  
spacechicken170am: Donor: thelessa:

I don't have a testosterone based issue, I have a "hey mom, it followed me home can I keep it issue".

My GF has a monthly, "awe, it is a sweet defenseless animal in need of help" issue. As previously mentioned in this thread, she wrestled a pit bull out of traffic and dropped it in my apartment. At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.

My girlfriend's sister was training one for a guy. Since she is unemployed she figured it would be a good way to earn some extra cash. He came over one day and told her she could keep the dog. The next day he killed himself. She is unemployed and behind on her mortgage payment....


You have bored me to near death...
www.laughparty.com

 
EggFool [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:45:14 PM  
ExRedStater: RandomExcess: A snake ate my baby! (NZ accent)

Ehh snike height mee byebye!!


Thanks!

 
HZS9PK 2009-07-02 03:47:40 PM  
Heard the 911 call. It was really sad. I'm really happy my ex wife doesn't keep anything dangerous or creepy around my kids...

 
holmer 2009-07-02 03:48:54 PM  
John Buck 41: wruley: This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15

We have a 4 y/o maltese/Pekinese mix. Loves us like crazy, but hates/tolerates/likes most other people. Trouble is, she's unpredictable. There's no pattern, whether it's friend/stranger, male/female, young/old. Luckily she loves our 3 y/o grandaughter.


Our Aussie Hazel, will herd and protect any young critter of any species. Do not make a hostile move or yell when she is watching her "sheep".
A snake is just a long piece of meat. Any snake that can live in the wild should be illegal as a pet.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:49:39 PM  

 
plewis 2009-07-02 03:51:06 PM  
gulogulo: plewis: asmodeus224: Silly white people

who said the dude was white? And what kind of name is "Shaiunna?"

I've lived in Gainesville, and there are plenty of black folks there.

Well, the pictures did.


Hadn't gotten there in the thread yet, and neither had the Original poster, so I feel vindicated, vicariously thorough his ignorance.

/sort of

In all seriousness, who the hell keeps an animal like that when they have a toddler?

 
The Voice of Doom 2009-07-02 03:52:59 PM  
TallyGirl
Amen, brother. My freakishly fat cat is just waiting for me to kick off so she can eat my face.

A neighbor at my brother's place died recently and it took a few days until it was discovered; the guy's cat was pretty starved but hadn't nibbled from the body.


thelessa
(1 BCI, 1 Bearded Dragon, 1 cat, 1 horse, and 1 Giant Slobbering Dog{Mastiff})


"1 snake, some snake food"

 
playdate [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:54:34 PM  
i257.photobucket.com

Yeah, look how dangerous this dog is...

 
FLMountainMan 2009-07-02 03:56:54 PM  
StopArrestingMe: As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".

You, sir, are no Pocket Ninja. Not even close.

The WASP part put it over the top.

 
gulogulo 2009-07-02 03:57:47 PM  
FLMountainMan: StopArrestingMe: As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".

You, sir, are no Pocket Ninja. Not even close.

The WASP part put it over the top.


He and Pocket Ninja are not doing the same thing.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 04:00:03 PM  
canadianloon: spacechicken170am: Donor: thelessa:

I don't have a testosterone based issue, I have a "hey mom, it followed me home can I keep it issue".

My GF has a monthly, "awe, it is a sweet defenseless animal in need of help" issue. As previously mentioned in this thread, she wrestled a pit bull out of traffic and dropped it in my apartment. At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.

My girlfriend's sister was training one for a guy. Since she is unemployed she figured it would be a good way to earn some extra cash. He came over one day and told her she could keep the dog. The next day he killed himself. She is unemployed and behind on her mortgage payment....

You have bored me to near death...


You get bored after 7 sentences? If that's the case then let me tell you about this fish I caught. It was a cold day. No wait it was a muggy day. Wait, maybe it was a cold muggy day. Yes, that's right it was cold and muggy just like that biatch of an aunt of yours. Well anyways I put on my blue socks because my black socks were in the dryer and they were still a little wet. You don't want to wear wet socks you know. You could get trench foot like your cousin Steve. After I got my socks on I decided to go to the lake. I'd been fishing there for quite some time now. I've used all different types of bait. The chicken livers seemed to work pretty well for the catfish and I've found that grasshoppers work pretty well for bass. Well this cat fish grabbed the chicken liver and I set the hook in pretty deep. I got him close enough to the bank to see that he was almost 30 inches long. At that moment the line snapped. I guess I never really caught the fish. This is probably more of a story about the one that got away. Anywho, are you dead yet? Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I liked to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

img293.imageshack.us

/bored kitty feels your pain

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:01:34 PM  
playdate: Yeah, look how dangerous this dog is...

Just biding his time.

 
EggFool [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:09:33 PM  
wruley: This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15


Wow. No offense, but I wouldn't let a dog that growled at me live with me. What if she got hurt and you had to pick her up or something?

 
Pmoon 2009-07-02 04:09:55 PM  
spacechicken170am: canadianloon: spacechicken170am: Donor: thelessa:

I don't have a testosterone based issue, I have a "hey mom, it followed me home can I keep it issue".

My GF has a monthly, "awe, it is a sweet defenseless animal in need of help" issue. As previously mentioned in this thread, she wrestled a pit bull out of traffic and dropped it in my apartment. At work they tell me I shouldn't be surprised when I come home and find an aardvark in the bathroom.

My girlfriend's sister was training one for a guy. Since she is unemployed she figured it would be a good way to earn some extra cash. He came over one day and told her she could keep the dog. The next day he killed himself. She is unemployed and behind on her mortgage payment....

You have bored me to near death...

You get bored after 7 sentences? If that's the case then let me tell you about this fish I caught. It was a cold day. No wait it was a muggy day. Wait, maybe it was a cold muggy day. Yes, that's right it was cold and muggy just like that biatch of an aunt of yours. Well anyways I put on my blue socks because my black socks were in the dryer and they were still a little wet. You don't want to wear wet socks you know. You could get trench foot like your cousin Steve. After I got my socks on I decided to go to the lake. I'd been fishing there for quite some time now. I've used all different types of bait. The chicken livers seemed to work pretty well for the catfish and I've found that grasshoppers work pretty well for bass. Well this cat fish grabbed the chicken liver and I set the hook in pretty deep. I got him close enough to the bank to see that he was almost 30 inches long. At that moment the line snapped. I guess I never really caught the fish. This is probably more of a story about the one that got away. Anywho, are you dead yet? Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I liked to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.



/bored kitty feels your pain


I knead to here moar of these.

 
trueaustinite 2009-07-02 04:11:47 PM  
playdate: Yeah, look how dangerous this dog is...

Brilliant! A pit bull didn't bite someone therefore pit bulls don't bite!

I think you are very smart.

 
MIRV888 2009-07-02 04:13:04 PM  
I never have understood owning an animal that can kill you or your family as a 'pet', but I'm crazy like that.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:17:03 PM  
nopokerface: playdate: Yeah, look how dangerous this dog is...

Just biding his time.


this..and I think that's one of those Spuds McKinsey dogs.

 
Infernal Wedgie 2009-07-02 04:18:15 PM  
spacechicken170am:

That depends are you actually going to define a pitbull as a pitbull or are you going to call anything with broad shoulders a pitbull type dog. The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog. See the trick is to lump all 42 of those breeds together into 1 breed. Then you list them along side other breeds consisting of 1 and only 1 breed. This greatly inflates the numbers. I disapprove of pitbull bite statistic shenanigans.



That's still statistical shenanigans. You're basically raising the spcificity to a level that's so incredibly narrow that unless you had a whole lot of those dogs, you're not going to have enough power to make a valid and significant result.

Mind you, I'm CANIPHOBIC. I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to being afraid of dogs. So I'm not singling out your pit bull. I don't like your chihuahua or golden retriver, either.

So here's the deal:
H0: This variety of pit bull is equally likely as any other dog (regardless of breed) to hurt or maim a person.
H1: This variety of pit bull is NOT equally likely as any other dog (regardless of breed) to hurt or maim a person, meaning it may be more or less likely to hurt or maim a person.

Then depending on which tail of the curve you look at, if H1 is significant, you can determine whether
that risk is greater or lower than the risk of all dogs as a group.

So we're not saying pit bull versus whippet, or pit bull versus pomeranian. We're saying pit bulls versus everything else you could call a domesticated dog.

Unless you wanted to throw in dingoes, jackals and wolves into the mix for extra statistical spice.

/is it Caturday, yet?

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:22:17 PM  
Infernal Wedgie: /is it Caturday, yet?

Nope. Not even through with Currsday.

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:23:00 PM  
TheWizard: DogS laughter: Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.

I think a bit of the problem is that you are using pets as a synonym for 'companion'.

I'd easily say that almost anything can be a pet, but that very few animals can be considered companions.


You make a valid point. Since I cared about the well being of my fish, I suppose they could be called pets, but not companions.

 
Donor 2009-07-02 04:29:14 PM  
Pmoon: spacechicken170am: canadianloon: spacechicken170am: Donor: thelessa:

/bored kitty feels your pain

I knead to here moar of these.


When I was little I caught a Bass out of the local lake. I asked my Dad if I could keep him as a pet and he said I could, but asked where I would keep him (since he was a fairly large bass). I told him I would keep him in the boat's livewell, feed him everyday and bring him fresh water. Needless to say he died after about 2 days, at which point I cried my eyes out and buried him in the backyard. It was probably one of my first encounters with death as a child.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:32:43 PM  
Donor: Needless to say he died after about 2 days, at which point I cried my eyes out and buried him in the backyard. It was probably one of my first encounters with death as a child.

That's pretty cool that your dad let you have that experience. It wouldn't even occur to many.

Or, some just might be hungry.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 04:38:01 PM  
Infernal Wedgie: spacechicken170am:

That depends are you actually going to define a pitbull as a pitbull or are you going to call anything with broad shoulders a pitbull type dog. The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog. See the trick is to lump all 42 of those breeds together into 1 breed. Then you list them along side other breeds consisting of 1 and only 1 breed. This greatly inflates the numbers. I disapprove of pitbull bite statistic shenanigans.


That's still statistical shenanigans. You're basically raising the spcificity to a level that's so incredibly narrow that unless you had a whole lot of those dogs, you're not going to have enough power to make a valid and significant result.
Mind you, I'm CANIPHOBIC. I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to being afraid of dogs. So I'm not singling out your pit bull. I don't like your chihuahua or golden retriver, either.

So here's the deal:
H0: This variety of pit bull is equally likely as any other dog (regardless of breed) to hurt or maim a person.
H1: This variety of pit bull is NOT equally likely as any other dog (regardless of breed) to hurt or maim a person, meaning it may be more or less likely to hurt or maim a person.

Then depending on which tail of the curve you look at, if H1 is significant, you can determine whether
that risk is greater or lower than the risk of all dogs as a group.

So we're not saying pit bull versus whippet, or pit bull versus pomeranian. We're saying pit bulls versus everything else you could call a domesticated dog.

Unless you wanted to throw in dingoes, jackals and wolves into the mix for extra statistical spice.

/is it Caturday, yet?


Uh no, Bull terriers, mastiffs, boxers, and any other broad shouldered dog is considered a pit bull type dog as far as bite staistics and the media are concerned. That's not statistical shenanigans on my part. That's statistical shenanigans on the cdc and the media's part. There are 3 breeds that are considered putbulls and they are no more violent than a rottweiler, german shephard, or chow chow. My issue is that if you want to say that pibulls as a breed are more dangerous then other breeds you damned well better provide statistics for that breed and not toss in 39 other breeds. Having all those breeds lumped together give a very high total number of fatal bites simply because of lumping 40 large dog breeds together. They also like to ignore total population. There are well over 5 million pitbulls in this country. That's not pit bull type dogs that's just pitbulls. If you provide only the total fatal bite numbers for the 3 breeds that are actually pitbulls and take population into consideration then we have a different story. Suddenly, pitbulls are not the vicious killers they are made out to be. In summary, adding the fatal attacks of 39 other large breeds of dog to the total number of fatal attacks for pitbulls and then ignoring total population is statistical shenanigans.

 
mandingueiro 2009-07-02 04:38:18 PM  
santadog: spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

Tell that to my blue heeler who was killed by one while we were on a vacation.
Tell that to my buddy's blue heeler that was killed by a pit bull that grew up with the heeler, then suddenly turned.
Tell that to my friend's Silky who had the skin shook off it when a Pitbull attacked it at a dog park.
Tell that to my friend who has a daughter that played with the pitbull all the time since it was a pup, until one day it turned on the little girl and mauled her arm.
Tell that to ME after a pitbull chased me down on a scooter.

That was all with in the span of 3 years.
Rare my ass.


1. your dog was obviously a pussy.
2. your buddy's dog was also a pussy-and to add a qualifier: dogs are pack animals and a hierarchy needed to be established...maybe your buddy could have been a little bit more aware of possible problematic behavioral problems and curbed them.
3. maybe Silky picked the wrong dog to mess with. Or the pit's owner was some asshole....
4. what did little girl do when she played with the dog? kids can be rough. what we consider friendly is different to a dog. smiling=friendliness to peole. smiling=baring of the teeth to a dog which is an aggressive act.
finally and most importantly:
5. how in the hell does a pit drive a scooter?

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:39:43 PM  
mandingueiro: dogs are pack animals and a hierarchy needed to be established

At least in that case, the hierarchy is easy to determine. Live dog trumps dead dog.

 
otto the bull 2009-07-02 04:42:27 PM  
HZS9PK: Heard the 911 call. It was really sad.
I'm really happy my ex wife doesn't keep anything dangerous or creepy around my kids...


Now that you are out of the picture.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife

 
EggFool [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:42:47 PM  
Donor: Pmoon: spacechicken170am: canadianloon: spacechicken170am: Donor: thelessa:

/bored kitty feels your pain

I knead to here moar of these.

When I was little I caught a Bass out of the local lake. I asked my Dad if I could keep him as a pet and he said I could, but asked where I would keep him (since he was a fairly large bass). I told him I would keep him in the boat's livewell, feed him everyday and bring him fresh water. Needless to say he died after about 2 days, at which point I cried my eyes out and buried him in the backyard. It was probably one of my first encounters with death as a child.


You shoulda ate him. He was probably delicious.

 
Mattyb710 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:43:34 PM  
I would say this guy deserves a bullet to the stomach, but I think letting him live a long time with what he was responsible for is worse.

 
lordaction 2009-07-02 04:47:13 PM  
This is sad. If you listen to his 911 call you can hear him losing it. I am really surprised he didn't blow his brains out after that call. I have never heard someone in such terrible emotional pain in my life. And it was not even his biological son - he sounds like a stand up guy.

/took a break from trolling for this post

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 04:52:25 PM  
spickus: spacechicken170am: The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog.

You are the only person I know who tries to claim that these are Pits:

Who, besides you claims that the breed Pit Bull encompasses over 40 breeds specifically these that you named yesterday?


How about the CDC which is the basis of the biased pitbull bite statistics? Read the definition of "Pit Bull Type". If they were just pibulls then why the need to put the word type on the end? It's simple. Any dog that bites or kills someone is a pitbull but when they do something cute they're a bull terrier.

 
Haoie 2009-07-02 04:57:09 PM  
Should've stuck to the gerbil.

 
remus 2009-07-02 05:00:50 PM  
DogS laughter: I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.

True, but the upside of tropical fish is they don't leave the aquarium and eat your kids. So, that's a good thing to look for in a pet.

 
spacechicken170am 2009-07-02 05:02:06 PM  
spickus: spacechicken170am: The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog.

You are the only person I know who tries to claim that these are Pits:

Who, besides you claims that the breed Pit Bull encompasses over 40 breeds specifically these that you named yesterday?


For starters check out this website.

The media calls it a pitbull to sell papers and then comes back and corrects it (new window)

Guess what the cdc reports it as? The cdc uses the media reports not the corrections as the basis for its bite data. Read the methodology behind the cdc report.

 
spickus 2009-07-02 05:03:01 PM  
spacechicken170am: spickus: spacechicken170am: The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog.

You are the only person I know who tries to claim that these are Pits:

Who, besides you claims that the breed Pit Bull encompasses over 40 breeds specifically these that you named yesterday?

How about the CDC which is the basis of the biased pitbull bite statistics? Read the definition of "Pit Bull Type". If they were just pibulls then why the need to put the word type on the end? It's simple. Any dog that bites or kills someone is a pitbull but when they do something cute they're a bull terrier.


No, they do not.

Several of those 6 are listed separately in the document you are referring to. Would you mind providing a link? I find it exceedingly difficult to believe they are grouping the dogs above with "Pit types" and then counting them again under their own breed.

 
Lamune_Baba 2009-07-02 05:05:05 PM  
santadog: spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

Tell that to my blue heeler who was killed by one while we were on a vacation.
Tell that to my buddy's blue heeler that was killed by a pit bull that grew up with the heeler, then suddenly turned.
Tell that to my friend's Silky who had the skin shook off it when a Pitbull attacked it at a dog park.
Tell that to my friend who has a daughter that played with the pitbull all the time since it was a pup, until one day it turned on the little girl and mauled her arm.
Tell that to ME after a pitbull chased me down on a scooter.

That was all with in the span of 3 years.
Rare my ass.



Maybe you should move out of the ghetto?

I hear there are a whole lot of violent black people in poor inner-city neighborhoods, too. I mean, nearly every single crime that happens there is a black dude. Almost all of them.

Sure, they make up 90% of the population in those neighborhoods, but it's statistical proof- blacks are dangerous animals.

 
DogS laughter [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 05:08:25 PM  
remus: DogS laughter: I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.

True, but the upside of tropical fish is they don't leave the aquarium and eat your kids. So, that's a good thing to look for in a pet.


I've always loved tropical fish, and I'm rethinking my definition of pet. See above at 04:23:00 PM.

 
spickus 2009-07-02 05:08:55 PM  
spacechicken170am: spickus: spacechicken170am: The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog.

You are the only person I know who tries to claim that these are Pits:

Who, besides you claims that the breed Pit Bull encompasses over 40 breeds specifically these that you named yesterday?

For starters check out this website.

The media calls it a pitbull to sell papers and then comes back and corrects it (new window)

Guess what the cdc reports it as? The cdc uses the media reports not the corrections as the basis for its bite data. Read the methodology behind the cdc report.


Again the CDC document lists several of those animals separately. You keep saying 42 breeds are considered "Pit types". Is there a list somewhere? Whose list? Do you really think anyone in their right mind would id any of the above dogs as Pits?

 
Infernal Wedgie 2009-07-02 05:15:18 PM  
spacechicken170am: spickus: spacechicken170am: The term pitbull type actually encompases over 40 different breeds of dog.

You are the only person I know who tries to claim that these are Pits:

Who, besides you claims that the breed Pit Bull encompasses over 40 breeds specifically these that you named yesterday?

How about the CDC which is the basis of the biased pitbull bite statistics? Read the definition of "Pit Bull Type". If they were just pibulls then why the need to put the word type on the end? It's simple. Any dog that bites or kills someone is a pitbull but when they do something cute they're a bull terrier.


Dude, I already said in order to make a valid comparison, you take the stats for PIT BULL (and I'll let you set that definition as you see fit, AKC perhaps?) and compare them across the board. You're still insisting that I'm clinging to the lumpy definition of what a pit bull is (which I don't -- I know what a pit bull is, I live in East LA FFS.

I'm saying let's really look at the stats (to which I know you'd agree). But you aren't automatically allowed to rule out the possibility that (true) pit bulls may be more dangerous than other breeds just because you think a study is flawed. That is your own bias as an owner and aficionado.

/wasn't this a thread about snakes?
/more scared of dogs than snakes

 
Gdr2004 2009-07-02 05:19:20 PM  
Why are you guys so cruel? The dad lost his daughter that is more than punishment enough. I hope the court system realizes that locking him up would just add more to the tragedy

 
Ashelth 2009-07-02 05:22:00 PM  
TallyGirl: He isn't actually the father of the toddler who was killed...his other baby mama was the one who said he was a great dad. He's the boyfriend of the little girl's mother.

I'm adding "does not own any stupid, dangerous pets" to my list of criteria in choosing a boyfriend. (That's now number three behind 1)has a job and 2) is not a child molester)


Picky!

 
orclover 2009-07-02 05:23:48 PM  
spacechicken170am: Well that depends. Some people dock their ears and tails and put them on exercise routines so they look like an east german swimmer from the good ol days. The natural look for an ABPT isn't bad at all. They are a big terrier. They are smart and can be trained pretty easily. Granted most pitbulls are owned by idiots with small weeners there are a lot of people who want a big dog that's not as dumb as a bag of rocks. I'd prefer if pitbulls were not banned but regulated. I think all large male dogs not kept by breeders should be required to be neutered. They are rrespnsible for over 80% of dog bite fatalities.



//what a pitbull should look like


i153.photobucket.com

This is pippy, Au Natural (her ears are down while playing). Long tail, floppy ears and 99% muscle. She curles up in my youngest son's bed at night near his head to sleep like an overprotective momma. Whenever I step in there late late at night her eyes pop open instantly and looks me over, then wags her tail to let me know its ok to come in. God farking help the poor dumbass that tries to creep in through the window to snatch a kid, doubt we'll even find his body.

She's the perfect family pet, oh sure she'll kill another dog if it gets within 2 feet of her, but she loves all kids.

/keep your dog on a leash, and i'll keep mine on a leash and muzzle.
//but yes you can pet her.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 05:35:43 PM  
mandingueiro: santadog: spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

Tell that to my blue heeler who was killed by one while we were on a vacation.
Tell that to my buddy's blue heeler that was killed by a pit bull that grew up with the heeler, then suddenly turned.
Tell that to my friend's Silky who had the skin shook off it when a Pitbull attacked it at a dog park.
Tell that to my friend who has a daughter that played with the pitbull all the time since it was a pup, until one day it turned on the little girl and mauled her arm.
Tell that to ME after a pitbull chased me down on a scooter.

That was all with in the span of 3 years.
Rare my ass.

1. your dog was obviously a pussy.
2. your buddy's dog was also a pussy-and to add a qualifier: dogs are pack animals and a hierarchy needed to be established...maybe your buddy could have been a little bit more aware of possible problematic behavioral problems and curbed them.
3. maybe Silky picked the wrong dog to mess with. Or the pit's owner was some asshole....
4. what did little girl do when she played with the dog? kids can be rough. what we consider friendly is different to a dog. smiling=friendliness to peole. smiling=baring of the teeth to a dog which is an aggressive act.
finally and most importantly:
5. how in the hell does a pit drive a scooter?


Your penis...it sounds very very small.

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 05:37:01 PM  
Lamune_Baba:

Maybe you should move out of the ghetto?


Yeah, Austin Texas is known for it's ghettos.

 
crazykatchan 2009-07-02 05:40:21 PM  
StopArrestingMe: As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".

...wow.
-2/10 for ITG faking.
you need to pull your head out of Rupert Murdock's news station's ass.
/not that I disagree with the basic concept, people who hurt children should be punished
//you just need to get out of whatever small town you're in that everyone needs to know how giant your penis is
///and you need grammar work bad. socialism =/= socilism

 
remus 2009-07-02 05:41:52 PM  
DogS laughter: remus: DogS laughter: I don't think any cold blooded animal can really be called a pet. I've had tropical fish that would take food from my fingers, but I never thought of them as pets.

True, but the upside of tropical fish is they don't leave the aquarium and eat your kids. So, that's a good thing to look for in a pet.

I've always loved tropical fish, and I'm rethinking my definition of pet. See above at 04:23:00 PM.


I was just feeding my tropical fish, so I'm getting a kick out of your reply...

 
squidzilla [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 05:48:00 PM  
crazykatchan: StopArrestingMe: As a father, this python would be lucky to slither away after doing something to MY daughter. I would take a bat to his face and then freakin shoot him HARD. If you harm a child you need to DIE plane and simple. Be forwarned, call me an ITG if you want but people who molest children are disgusting and have no morals and need to be tortured raped and killed by ME. These people are NOT even people there literally gnats. I am an AMERICAN MAN, a WASP, and a DAMN GOOD FATHER. I have many guns including a rocket launcher and I will use them all on you if you molest my duaghter Kitie after first castrating you with a butterfly knife and taking my sweet time. And do NOT talk to me from up there on your pedastal about how Im WRONG you can SHUT HELL UP pu@@y. Jet from this thread if it bothers you that much. Friggin birdbrain. Society has rules and if you doNt follow then you must be delt with. As Ghandi said "an eye for an eye".

...wow.
-2/10 for ITG faking.
you need to pull your head out of Rupert Murdock's news station's ass.
/not that I disagree with the basic concept, people who hurt children should be punished
//you just need to get out of whatever small town you're in that everyone needs to know how giant your penis is
///and you need grammar work bad. socialism =/= socilism


Sigh....you just don't get it, do you?

/that was decent, SAM
//but you can do better

 
MrsHashBrown 2009-07-02 05:48:13 PM  
EggFool: wruley: This is a sad story, but the problem is pets are animals in captivity. It doesn't mean they are happy or domesticated. This could happen with a variety of pets, and actually probably does.

I have a 105 pound german shepherd that was trained as a police K9. He was injured during training and retired, and we got him from the kenel through a friend.

He fell in love with my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible, including sleeping with her in her bed at night. He growls at me every morning when I come in the room wake her up. And don't even think about pretending to hit her. The next thing you will see is paws and teeth. The dog is definitely over protective.

If he went insane for just a few, he could kill her easily. Then you guys would be writing nasty messages about me.

/Daughter is now 15

Wow. No offense, but I wouldn't let a dog that growled at me live with me. What if she got hurt and you had to pick her up or something?



Agreed. Dogs should never get the idea that being aggressive, or simply growling, is permitted. That's a big reason why we've never played tug-of-war games or allowed "play" growling with our GSD. He's a high-powered dog and it could lead to trouble down the road.

Sounds like his GSD is herding his daughter or protecting her from a perceived poacher/thief. Is the dog allowed on other furniture, just like the humans in the family? Things like that give a dog the wrong idea. It's a dog, not a human, make it sleep on the floor because it is an animal. Get a bed for it if you'd like, but don't let it sleep on yours. Also, they tend to shed a lot, her bed must be covered in fur. . .

Seriously, you're the boss of your dog; your dog should not be the boss of you. This is even more important if you have a large breed that can be very dangerous without proper training & control.

 
mandingueiro 2009-07-02 05:53:06 PM  
santadog: mandingueiro: santadog: spacechicken170am: Emrick: spacechicken170am: - You are than 200 times more likely to die from taking aspirin than from a pit bull attack.

So? What point do you think you are making?

How about the point that pitbull attacks are very rare and there's a bunch of other things you need to watch out for before you have to worry about pitbulls?

Tell that to my blue heeler who was killed by one while we were on a vacation.
Tell that to my buddy's blue heeler that was killed by a pit bull that grew up with the heeler, then suddenly turned.
Tell that to my friend's Silky who had the skin shook off it when a Pitbull attacked it at a dog park.
Tell that to my friend who has a daughter that played with the pitbull all the time since it was a pup, until one day it turned on the little girl and mauled her arm.
Tell that to ME after a pitbull chased me down on a scooter.

That was all with in the span of 3 years.
Rare my ass.

1. your dog was obviously a pussy.
2. your buddy's dog was also a pussy-and to add a qualifier: dogs are pack animals and a hierarchy needed to be established...maybe your buddy could have been a little bit more aware of possible problematic behavioral problems and curbed them.
3. maybe Silky picked the wrong dog to mess with. Or the pit's owner was some asshole....
4. what did little girl do when she played with the dog? kids can be rough. what we consider friendly is different to a dog. smiling=friendliness to peole. smiling=baring of the teeth to a dog which is an aggressive act.
finally and most importantly:
5. how in the hell does a pit drive a scooter?

Your penis...it sounds very very small.


as does your sense of humor.

/snark off

 
DrewCurtisJr 2009-07-02 05:53:07 PM  
orclover: God farking help the poor dumbass that tries to creep in through the window to snatch a kid, doubt we'll even find his body.

Is there really any reasonable chance that that is going to happen?

 
Biness 2009-07-02 05:54:37 PM  
www.aquateencentral.com

is it bad that this is all i could think of?

 
swingbozo 2009-07-02 05:59:45 PM  
Is it bad that I wanted them to let the python finish his meal? I mean c'mon, he put so much work into it he should get a little reward.

 
orclover 2009-07-02 06:01:58 PM  
DrewCurtisJr: Is there really any reasonable chance that that is going to happen?

Well we are in Austin, alot of farking California hippy transplants here now so the odd's are shooting up daily.

/damn Rick Perry to hell.

 
DrewCurtisJr 2009-07-02 06:05:20 PM  
orclover: Well we are in Austin

Well that's different then

 
playdate [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 06:10:34 PM  
MrsHashBrown:
Is the dog allowed on other furniture, just like the humans in the family?

But is it OK to treat the dogs as furniture?
i257.photobucket.com

 
thelessa 2009-07-02 06:28:46 PM  
The Voice of Doomthelessa
(1 BCI, 1 Bearded Dragon, 1 cat, 1 horse, and 1 Giant Slobbering Dog{Mastiff})

"1 snake, some snake food"


You would think so, but his cage is solid, and he is well fed. That's why I am so confused about this guy and his python. Should have fed him better so he wasn't hunting.

IXI Jim IXI [
thelessa: The horse and cat were inherited when my mother passed away

Probably a good thing. If it wasn't for your horse, you wouldn't have spent that year in college.

Now if I could justify moving to Antarctica, I could take the horse with me.....

(I swear, as often as this is quoted, this girl would pop up somewhere. Thank you Lewis Black)

PS: Love the Hug pic, Jim!

 
malkore 2009-07-02 06:45:43 PM  
Sybarite: I don't even consider snakes as "pets". A pet has to be able to form some kind of reciprocal relationship with its owner. Snakes have no idea who you are.

Sure they do! You are clearly 'lunch'.

 
theoriginalslash 2009-07-02 06:52:48 PM  
RE spacechicken170am: Lighten up, Francis.

That long-ass list of crap that kills more people than dogs do - irrelevant. I wasn't talking about aspirin. I was talking about animals. I know human deaths caused by animals are rare. Was just saying that if you're so dumb and incompetent that your pet kills your kid, stop having kids. I'm not anti pit bull. My point was, small children are at risk from a lot of things, and large pets are one of those things. To deny that a large dog could harm or kill a kid is a denial of reality. To say that a given dog probably won't kill a toddler isn't the same thing as saying it definitely won't. Big, precariously balanced TV sets also kill small children. That doesn't mean people shouldn't have big TVs. It means stupid people who don't know that large, heavy objects can fall when they aren't secured properly shouldn't have children if they also have a big TV. The fact that something isn't guaranteed to happen doesn't mean it won't. Especially when stupid people are involved.

So, to sum up, stupid people should have either large dogs (or snakes) or small kids, but not both at the same time, because stupid people are too stupid to keep the large dogs (or snakes) from attacking the small kids.

There. Happy now?

 
cathode26 2009-07-02 06:54:20 PM  
The stabbing of this abortion provider was horrific. As taboo of a subject it is, his family will be in our hearts and minds. Dr. Python got his MD, in Asphixiology, a method of abortion that crushes all competing methods of infanticide.

 
Cheesy Rat [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:27:44 PM  
I am not going to read the snarky comments of alla y'all. As someone who has owned snakes for years, and who has also been on the Board of Directors of the Pacific Northwest Herpetological Society, I have to say that whereas I feel bad for the child, I feel nothing for the parents. They basically caused a Darwinian death, as their genes will not be carried forward anymore. I do not think snakes should be banned, although a Burmese python can get to over 25 feet long and 400 lbs. As a matter of fact, the snake suffered worse than the child here. The constriction of a snake kills in seconds, but the dumb motherfarking owner decided to stab the snake repeatedly to get it off the kid instead of just unwrapping the damn thing. The kid is already dead, now you need to fark up your pet too? These people are absolute losers who deserve to A) go to jail for stupidity and manslaughter and B) not be allowed to breed again.

 
Cheesy Rat [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 08:33:50 PM  
Having now read the first few comments of the thread, I can state with great fact that DogS Laughter, sigdiamond 2000, Sybarite, boritom, and especially notmtwain are all complete and utter douchebags who are talking out their asses about something of which they know nothing. You morons all need to STFU & GBTW because you are wasting your bosses, and our, time. Now fark off, the lot of you, and anyone else who agrees with you. You are all unworthy.

 
Grissnap 2009-07-02 10:32:39 PM  
A friend told me a story, I don't know if it's an urban legend or what but it creeped me out at least. It also happened to be the first thing I thought about after reading this. Also, they were vague on details (it was their friend) so I don't know if it's a burmese python or what...

Anyway, this snake was a rather large snake. The owner had had no problems with it. Then this snake suddenly had stopped eating. It wouldn't eat the rats or rabbits or whatever they were trying to feed it. The owner took the snake to the vet to see what the problem was.

The vet nonchalantly told her that the snake was starving itself so that it could eat her.

 
Sygonus 2009-07-02 10:42:45 PM  
Cheesy Rat: The constriction of a snake kills in seconds,

Right, that explains the videos I've seen of snakes constricting rats or rabbits where the animal thrashes around in tremendous pain for upwards of two or three minutes before it suffocates. REEEAAAAAL fast and painless death.

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-07-02 11:07:37 PM  
I've been rehabilitating pythons for over 5 years now.

2 rules...

When he's visibly hunting in daytime -- FEED HIM -they are sedentary creatures- if you pay attention, you will know when he's ready to feed.
When you know he's clever (any reticulate EVER) use a lock on the tank.


My two are both large, capable, and selfish. It's part of the breed. If you cannot take care of a greedy, self-absorbed, creature in the long term, don't start.

 
mandingueiro 2009-07-02 11:37:21 PM  
BlowPopGirl: I've been rehabilitating pythons for over 5 years now.

2 rules...

When he's visibly hunting in daytime -- FEED HIM -they are sedentary creatures- if you pay attention, you will know when he's ready to feed.
When you know he's clever (any reticulate EVER) use a lock on the tank.


My two are both large, capable, and selfish. It's part of the breed. If you cannot take care of a greedy, self-absorbed, creature in the long term, don't start.


which is why I got a divorce.

/try the veal.

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-07-03 12:07:34 AM  
mandingueiro: BlowPopGirl: I've been rehabilitating pythons for over 5 years now.

2 rules...

When he's visibly hunting in daytime -- FEED HIM -they are sedentary creatures- if you pay attention, you will know when he's ready to feed.
When you know he's clever (any reticulate EVER) use a lock on the tank.


My two are both large, capable, and selfish. It's part of the breed. If you cannot take care of a greedy, self-absorbed, creature in the long term, don't start.

which is why I got a divorce.

/try the veal.


Arggh
Didn't even see that set - up
You deserved that one

 
katerbug72 2009-07-04 12:04:28 AM  
Gigglecream, wow, it's been forever and a day since I thought of Riki Tiki Tavi.

 
katerbug72 2009-07-04 12:09:38 AM  
www.worldandischool.com

 
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