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(Daily Mail) Unlikely Face it, Kevin, you're fooling nobody. Complete with "Please believe I'm not gay" pic   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 128
More: Unlikely  
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26118 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 02 Jul 2009 at 11:39 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

128 Comments   (+0 »)


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cheap_thoughts 2009-07-02 01:27:44 PM  
Pucca: Ingaba 2009-07-02 09:35:34 AM
CPT Ethanolic: Anyone at 21 yrs old, with the opportunity to bang every 18-20 yr old hottie on earth, that decides to get married = gay.

More like = brainwashed by fundies...

They will get divorced after he figures out what sex is all about and she figures out that she can divorce his stupid pansy arse, take half of his earnings and go fark a tattied up roady for Creed.

When Taylor Hanson got married at 19 because his girlfriend got pregnant on purpose to trap him I thought the same thing. They are still married and have a litter of children. It's a fundie thing.


Same thing happened to Isaac too, only he was like 25. Go figure the only planned one was from Zac.

 
Huck Chaser 2009-07-02 01:30:02 PM  
Tony_Danza: I was thinking it was Kevin McPherson. He was this faggy tool I went to highschool with. We had gym class together in Grade 9 and always got this weird vibe from him whenever I changed in the locker room. I heard he got married a few years ago but you knew he was totally into guys.

It's cool, man. I never got over my high school sweetheart, either.

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:31:55 PM  
He's really not attractive.

Kinda like that one Hanson brother.

 
Goggles_Pisano 2009-07-02 01:32:33 PM  
Bexta: While I have no idea who this guy is, I take offence to the "No one wants to bang the funny one." comment - the funny ones are always the MOST attractive to me, I'll give them a whirl.

Which begs the question: What are you doing on FARK?

/Wait a minute... what am I doing on FARK?!

 
Psumek 2009-07-02 01:33:02 PM  
cheap_thoughts: Pucca: Ingaba 2009-07-02 09:35:34 AM
CPT Ethanolic: Anyone at 21 yrs old, with the opportunity to bang every 18-20 yr old hottie on earth, that decides to get married = gay.

More like = brainwashed by fundies...

They will get divorced after he figures out what sex is all about and she figures out that she can divorce his stupid pansy arse, take half of his earnings and go fark a tattied up roady for Creed.

When Taylor Hanson got married at 19 because his girlfriend got pregnant on purpose to trap him I thought the same thing. They are still married and have a litter of children. It's a fundie thing.

Same thing happened to Isaac too, only he was like 25. Go figure the only planned one was from Zac.


Wow someone who knows what happened to Hanson 10 years later. I bow down to your randomness.

/or creepy stalkyness

 
T.rex 2009-07-02 01:38:28 PM  
in reality, its not:
"please believe i'm not gay" from the jonas bro.
its, "please believe he's gay" from the submitter.

its your only ammo against a rich successful, talented dude.

 
Christian Bale 2009-07-02 01:38:41 PM  
They are the modern-day Hanson...

...except that even Hanson had one catchy song.

 
Epossumondas [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:39:31 PM  
I didn't even realize there was a Kevin. All I ever hear about is JoeJoeJoeJoe...

Have an 8 year old daughter and she and her friends are weirding me out about their Joe crushes.

 
Pucca 2009-07-02 01:43:22 PM  
Psumek 2009-07-02 01:33:02 PM
cheap_thoughts: Pucca: Ingaba 2009-07-02 09:35:34 AM
CPT Ethanolic: Anyone at 21 yrs old, with the opportunity to bang every 18-20 yr old hottie on earth, that decides to get married = gay.

More like = brainwashed by fundies...

They will get divorced after he figures out what sex is all about and she figures out that she can divorce his stupid pansy arse, take half of his earnings and go fark a tattied up roady for Creed.

When Taylor Hanson got married at 19 because his girlfriend got pregnant on purpose to trap him I thought the same thing. They are still married and have a litter of children. It's a fundie thing.

Same thing happened to Isaac too, only he was like 25. Go figure the only planned one was from Zac.

Wow someone who knows what happened to Hanson 10 years later. I bow down to your randomness.

/or creepy stalkyness


I lived in Tulsa when all that happened. It's a very small town. No I didn't move there to stalk the Hansons.

 
Tommy Moo 2009-07-02 01:43:37 PM  
... and once he gets over the novelty of sex and realizes that it was a bad idea to abstain until he was ready to explode, forcing himself to marry the first woman he laid eyes on, divorce in 3...2...1...

 
Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom 2009-07-02 01:46:53 PM  
GIS pulled up this little gem of the lucky girl (On the right).

lh6.ggpht.com

/Would "Take off my purity ring" for her.

 
thumpergirl 2009-07-02 01:51:06 PM  
"Deleasa, a former hairdresser,"

1. how much the hell of a former hairdresser could she be at her 22?
they're both ugly anyway. now they can have ugly babies.

2. she clearly SUCKS as her job because he has the hair of a douche.

//cranky

 
Second Try 2009-07-02 01:52:52 PM  
I thought this would be about Kevin Spacey. Never heard of any Jonas brother.

 
icam 2009-07-02 01:53:37 PM  
thumpergirl: "Deleasa, a former hairdresser,"

1. how much the hell of a former hairdresser could she be at her 22?
they're both ugly anyway. now they can have ugly babies.

2. she clearly SUCKS as her job because he has the hair of a douche.

//cranky


Jew Evangelical fro.

 
epocalypse 2009-07-02 01:57:47 PM  
Lumox: He can finally get laid!

and then divorced, and then married again, and then divorced! because that's the moral way to "fark all them biatches hardcore."

 
horonto [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:59:51 PM  
He'll be divorced in a few years.

Big mistake.

 
Brainsick 2009-07-02 02:02:21 PM  
From the comments:
I AM SOOO happy for them i just love the jonas brothers kevin and his gf make a cute couple i am just soo happy forthem CONGRAULATIONS !! i will never for get the year of 2009 i grauduated 8 th grade now kevin jonas is engaged !!!!!
- Christina, britol wisconsin,



Dear God(s),
I hate teenyboppers.

Love,
Brainsick

 
radioman_ 2009-07-02 02:07:36 PM  
I like her. Normal pretty, not Hollywood plastic pretty. Very lucky guy, whoever he is.

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:09:53 PM  
I think Nick is the gay one. Dude has been on Broadway since he was 7.

 
Rubber Biscuit 2009-07-02 02:15:16 PM  
I could tell that was a Jersey girl as soon as the pic loaded. Looks over processed, mean, hard, artificial, dumb.

/sorry, but that was my Jersey experience. Left for the west coast. Your mileage may vary.

 
valencia 2009-07-02 02:15:37 PM  
vernonFL: I think Nick is the gay one. Dude has been on Broadway since he was 7.

no it's obviously Joe. he can't seem to put down the flat iron.

 
Limeade 2009-07-02 02:30:47 PM  
Please tell me this type of girl is not what Springsteen was writing about? ulk.

/She looks typically Jersey, or possibly Long Island
//Janice from "Friends". Needs leopard print spandex.

 
SprAmazd 2009-07-02 02:33:32 PM  
Wait a minute... Since when do either of those Diseny Produced Clones have a first name? They're not individuals. They're the Jonas Brothers. Singular.

Give it about a month and a half and Disney will have some other "Hey, look at us home town kids who made a band!" -style group built to overtake these, now useless to them, sacks of worthless shiat.

 
drhansenej 2009-07-02 02:43:07 PM  
Douchebag.

 
bamnuke 2009-07-02 02:44:33 PM  
Took my girls to the Tacoma show Sunday. Thought there would have been more soccer mom eye candy. Left disappointed in the lack of hot mom action, yet strangely enough enjoyed the show. My wife took enough pics of Nick Jonas to make the pedo bear happy.

/anything to make my rugrats smile, I guess

 
crazylegsbill 2009-07-02 02:45:03 PM  
Ahem

"I AM SOOO happy for them i just love the jonas brothers kevin and his gf make a cute couple i am just soo happy forthem CONGRAULATIONS !! i will never for get the year of 2009 i grauduated 8 th grade now kevin jonas is engaged !!!!!"

...sigh

 
PhotoCindy 2009-07-02 02:48:32 PM  
www.pajiba.com

Result!

 
Blowmonkey [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 02:58:54 PM  
Ingaba: Shiat...I can't believe that I just posted in a thread about a Jonas Brother...I hope that this doesn't go green.

OMG I came into this thread thinking, I wonder if random person has posted in it, OMG random person totally did!!!!

 
Jon Zombie 2009-07-02 03:02:38 PM  
farm4.static.flickr.com

 
Kar98 2009-07-02 03:02:52 PM  
No, really; he's totally straight! I saw it on the VH 1!

 
Psumek 2009-07-02 03:04:09 PM  
thumpergirl: "Deleasa, a former hairdresser,"

1. how much the hell of a former hairdresser could she be at her 22?
they're both ugly anyway. now they can have ugly babies.

2. she clearly SUCKS as her job because he has the hair of a douche.

//cranky


Nah she's a former hairdresser because she has a Disney Teen Idol as a husband. I'd be letting him take care of me too.

 
wh0mprat 2009-07-02 03:04:21 PM  
He doesn't look gay, het just looks like a douche.

 
Kar98 2009-07-02 03:04:34 PM  
Goggles_Pisano: Why did I quote that twice?

You like rape?

 
knifefish 2009-07-02 03:14:36 PM  
You ass subby. My first name is Kevin and for a split second I thought I was in some kind of Truman Show scenario.

/Goes back to not mattering.
//Or being gay.
///Seriously.

 
WhileAmericaBurns 2009-07-02 03:20:00 PM  
Kevin Federline?
Kevin Kline?
Kevin James?
Kevin McDonald?

 
brohymn 2009-07-02 03:21:09 PM  
so i take it he doesnt want to gangbang lady gaga with the brothers? or is that for the bachelor party?

 
Kyoki [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:24:34 PM  
Came for the Mickey kicking ass pics, leaving satisfied.

 
stevetherobot 2009-07-02 03:29:29 PM  
pd771: It's ok, Kevin is the funny one. No one wants to bang the funny one.

Hey, Ringo was the funny Beatle and he married (and banged) Barbara Bach.

 
Sefton 2009-07-02 03:33:00 PM  
She's a man, baby.

 
pd771 [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 03:34:13 PM  
stevetherobot: pd771: It's ok, Kevin is the funny one. No one wants to bang the funny one.

Hey, Ringo was the funny Beatle and he married (and banged) Barbara Bach.


Who are these Beatles you speak of?

 
Nightmaretony 2009-07-02 03:44:35 PM  
DslainteC: "The Jonas Brothers star revealed how he went down on...girlfriend Danielle Deleasa."

This article works better more truthful with creative editing and an ellipsis.


FTFY

 
Resin33 2009-07-02 03:47:50 PM  
Wow. Bad move, dude. I mean.. she's ok, hittable and all. But he can pull much better than THAT.

 
Five Minute Standup 2009-07-02 04:07:33 PM  
I walked into the living room as my sister was watching Disney channel, and the obnoxious MTV news type person was asking some random chick "what do you want the Jonas Brothers to write a song about?" and she said "Me, of course."

I want them to sing about heroin addiction.

 
RevMercutio [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:11:57 PM  
pd771: stevetherobot: pd771: It's ok, Kevin is the funny one. No one wants to bang the funny one.

Hey, Ringo was the funny Beatle and he married (and banged) Barbara Bach.

Who are these Beatles you speak of?


They were kinda like the Monkees, but British.

 
Quotizmo [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 04:22:40 PM  
EdVenture Wow, I guess we have to face it. Kevin is not a real manly name.

i282.photobucket.com
Oh puh-lease. It takes a real man to appreciate a good window treatment.

 
Quantum Apostrophe 2009-07-02 04:22:49 PM  
Kar98: No, really; he's totally straight! I saw it on the VH 1!

Yeah but he's the guy from Depeche Mode!

 
SharkInfested 2009-07-02 04:25:00 PM  
I swear that's a prom picture from the 80s

 
Harry_Seldon 2009-07-02 04:26:56 PM  
At least he isn't dating this tool....

blogs.creativeloafing.com

//not hot, but the link is.

 
ranak 2009-07-02 04:46:49 PM  
Mike Piazza is unimpressed.

 
Speedbts alt 2009-07-02 05:03:27 PM  
CPT Ethanolic: Anyone at 21 yrs old, with the opportunity to bang every 18-20 yr old hottie on earth, that decides to get married = gay.

Or that they will continue banging the hotties just like their old man did.

 
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