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(My Fox DC) Asinine Stress camp for kids helps the precious snowflakes deal with the pressures of not having to work, summer break, eating anything they want, going to the movies and wondering if Jimmy just likes her or if he likes her likes her   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 61
More: Asinine  

61 Comments   (+0 »)


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msannomalley [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:25:16 AM  
Here's a brilliant idea: stop over scheduling the little runts and let them be children.

 
radiumsoup [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:25:17 AM  
+1

 
boobsrgood [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:26:13 AM  
micronauts

 
HMS_Blinkin 2009-07-02 11:28:20 AM  
Damn kids. Just send them to sports camps like everyone else.

 
Bobucles 2009-07-02 11:28:59 AM  
Back in the good ol' days, kids actually spent time learning how to function in a society with adults, as opposed to being set loose to craft their own little Lord of the Flies nightmares like the horrible little monkeys that they are.

/ Git off my lawn you little whippersnappers!

 
HeadbangerSmurf [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:29:57 AM  
Yeah, I can't see my boys being stressed out but my daughter sure gets that way. Then again, she's actually working while the boys are trying to figure out how long they can play Halo 3 before they die from not moving.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-07-02 11:30:26 AM  
That whole *&^#$!* article was an advertisement for this idiot's 'stress camp'.


[self-aggrandizing nitwit], a licensed massage therapist in Westminster, wants to help.
...
She said if a parent has concerns about a child, she will meet with the parents and child, to determine how to best serve the child.


Oh, yeah - she's going to be a HUGE help. *eyeroll*

 
tshetter 2009-07-02 11:30:46 AM  
Bobucles: Back in the good ol' days, kids actually spent time learning how to function in a society with adults, as opposed to being set loose to craft their own little Lord of the Flies nightmares like the horrible little monkeys that they are.

/ Git off my lawn you little whippersnappers!


Shut up piggy

 
Hibno 2009-07-02 11:31:19 AM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

That's way too much pressure.

 
LloydDobler [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:32:20 AM  
Is myfoxdc a paid sponsor or are they just blowing somebody to have 4 links on the homepage?

 
Arramol 2009-07-02 11:32:48 AM  
randomthoughtsofachronicthinker.files.wordpress.com
What childhood should look like.

/But oh noes, he might fall and skin his pwecious widdle knee!
//Hot like a summer day

 
NannyStatePark 2009-07-02 11:33:37 AM  
I think it's a great idea, but for the love of God keep this out of public schools, my child's mental health and health care issues are for me to take care of, not Big Brother.

 
chrisacip 2009-07-02 11:34:50 AM  
i heard he totally likes her likes her yeah but no but yeah but no but cuz jenny said so to ricky c while she were givin' him a blowie under the stairs and i don't even know nuffin' so quit askin' k?

 
Tatsuhiko [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:34:59 AM  
We should just start shooting chil'ins in the foot so they find the rest of life better.

Well, except adulthood. That's pretty much the same.

 
chrisacip 2009-07-02 11:35:27 AM  
Arramol: What childhood should look like.

/But oh noes, he might fall and skin his pwecious widdle knee!
//Hot like a summer day


Amen. Calvin was my best friend throughout my childhood.

 
Finley 2009-07-02 11:35:50 AM  
Maybe if kids weren't so medicated, they could stop paying attention and giving a shiat, therefore not be stressed.

 
CrankMyBlueSax 2009-07-02 11:36:03 AM  
Henceforth, the week known as "steak and bj week" at Castle CrankySax shall now be designated "Stress Camp". Scribe, let it be written. Let it be done.

 
tshetter 2009-07-02 11:36:35 AM  
Englebert Slaptyback: That whole *&^#$!* article was an advertisement for this idiot's 'stress camp'.


[self-aggrandizing nitwit], a licensed massage therapist in Westminster, wants to help.
...
She said if a parent has concerns about a child, she will meet with the parents and child, to determine how to best serve the child.


Oh, yeah - she's going to be a HUGE help. *eyeroll*


Hey now....

Little Johnny might need a happy ending too.

 
gorgor 2009-07-02 11:36:53 AM  
You know who else sent people to camp?

 
Impudent Domain 2009-07-02 11:37:19 AM  
I have an alternate stress relief program for kids.

Yard work

lots of it.

 
jayhawk88 2009-07-02 11:37:22 AM  
msannomalley: Here's a brilliant idea: stop over scheduling the little runts and let them be children.

Said exactly what I was going to. If you need to send your child to stress camp you're failing as a parent. Drop karate or violin or competitive long division or whatever and let them watch a little Spongebob for fark's sake.

 
otto the bull 2009-07-02 11:38:17 AM  
img14.imageshack.us

I am sending my kid to the "Lay a brick, build a dream" camp.

 
wylkyn 2009-07-02 11:38:21 AM  
Hey, subby, remember when you were a kid and you used to think how awesome it would be when you grew up and could stay up as late as you wanted, and drive a car, and eat ice cream for dinner, and not have anyone to tell you "No!", and drink beer and smoke?

That green grass you're seeing? It's on the other side of the fence, as usual.

 
geeskeez 2009-07-02 11:39:47 AM  
jimmy better wear a condom

 
CHARNAME 2009-07-02 11:39:50 AM  
When I was a kid, my stress management methods were self-taught.

/No, I didn't leave the house much as a kid, but I'm told that works, too, why do you ask?

 
cryinoutloud [TotalFark] 2009-07-02 11:40:16 AM  
While Mincher keeps parents informed about what the children are doing with handouts, she wants to keep the class strictly for the youngsters.

"I feel it's something they need to do on their own," she said.


Certainly--because the kids found out about these camps on their own, decided that they wanted to attend, ponied up the money for it on their own, and then drove to the camps by themselves.

It's just one more farking thing that parents decide is best for their kids, and then force them into it. When are we going to have camps to help kids cope with all the stress caused by being their entire lives scheduled and planned by their parents?

msannomalley: Here's a brilliant idea: stop over scheduling the little runts and let them be children.

This.

 
Bobucles 2009-07-02 11:41:00 AM  
tshetter:
Shut up piggy


Goddam it I'm not fat, my mom says I'm big boned!

/ Screw you guys, I'm going home.

 
jennickell 2009-07-02 11:41:05 AM  
yeah cause my 14 year old is having such a stressful summer, staying up watching tv until 2am, sleeping till 10 or 11,texting, updating his myspace (I came home from work on Tuesday and he was still in him pajama's) maybe he is stressed from the 5 min of cleaning up around the house I asked him to do that he still didnt get done.
grrrrrrrrrr, he needs to get a farkin job.
/sorry needed to vent that
//took the cable box with me to work today, I am sure he will still watch dvd's all day
///get off my lawn, damn kids and thier moby grape

 
farm machine 2009-07-02 11:42:44 AM  
For Pete's sake. Just teach them to read.
www.fantasticfiction.co.uk

 
Rose Red 2009-07-02 11:44:09 AM  
sigh. More helicoptering, as usual. Playing outside is really tough.

 
Worst_Login_Ever 2009-07-02 11:46:24 AM  
wondering if Jimmy just likes her or if he likes her likes her

That's a winner. :)

 
macadamnut 2009-07-02 11:46:33 AM  
boobsrgood: micronauts

Bug?

 
CapitolG 2009-07-02 11:47:35 AM  
chrisacip: i heard he totally likes her likes her yeah but no but yeah but no but cuz jenny said so to ricky c while she were givin' him a blowie under the stairs and i don't even know nuffin' so quit askin' k?

Vickie?

 
chrisacip 2009-07-02 11:54:00 AM  
wylkyn: Hey, subby, remember when you were a kid and you used to think how awesome it would be when you grew up and could stay up as late as you wanted, and drive a car, and eat ice cream for dinner, and not have anyone to tell you "No!", and drink beer and smoke?

That green grass you're seeing? It's on the other side of the fence, as usual.


Yes I remember, I was looking forward to all of that... and now that I have it, I can honestly say that it's everything I imagined it could be.

Adulthood is so cash.

 
bigbadideasinaction [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 12:00:14 PM  
Teaching kids to rely on other people to help them cope with stress? What's that, she's a RMT and can provide part of that? I'm shocked!

/next up, local acid dealer sets up "fantasy camp"

 
GavinTheAlmighty 2009-07-02 12:06:10 PM  
I know it's fun to rag on helicopter parents, but it's worth noting that sometimes childhood CAN be stressful. Not living up to parents' expectations, being told in school that if you don't go to university you're going to be a failure at life, being stupider than all of your friends, all while your parents stuff you in 19 extracurriculars because the latest parenting book said that it's important to keep kids busy, dealing with bullies when your parents say to never ever hit anyone under any circumstances, passive-aggressive competition between neighbourhood parents about how awesome their kid is, etc. Then you've got the schools having gone really touchy-feely, it creates an environment where kids are almost encouraged to feel stressed so that they don't overburden themselves (even if it wouldn't be an overburden).

It's not just the parents here. The entire zeitgeist has changed since you were a kid. It's not just about going outside to play until the sun goes down. Hell, most kids in cities can't even go and play around a pond or a creek or on fallen trees or things. Just about every municipal park in cities and suburbs are booked 6 months in advance for every recreational league you can think of. If you're in the suburbs, it's often quite difficult to go to a park unless a parent drives you because of the way the cities are planned. Biking in big cities just flat-out isn't safe unless you've got bike lanes, so it's not like a couple of ten year olds can just pick up bikes and go wherever they want.

Every parent wants their kids to be safe, first and foremost. Unfortunately, given the way that many cities are planned, it's not possible to just let them out without supervision anymore.

 
UpsideDown 2009-07-02 12:07:25 PM  
Camp when I was a kid was 1 or 2 glorious weeks away from my parents and siblings where I could cook marshellows over a fire, hang out with kids my own age, and run around and play all day. Heaven! Also they taught me neat but useless skills like how to braid plastic yarn stuff to make a keychain and the correct way to set a table (even if we were eating tater tots and drinking bug juice). I wish I could go to camp now.

If I have a kid like Calvin I'll probably be very exhausted, but very proud.

 
fuzzycuffs 2009-07-02 12:08:22 PM  
There are massage therapists there for the kids?

www.inquisitr.com

 
DaCaptain19 2009-07-02 12:14:39 PM  
Arramol 2009-07-02 11:32:48 AM

What childhood should look like.

/But oh noes, he might fall and skin his pwecious widdle knee!
//Hot like a summer day


I don't know...Calvin's personification of his stuffed tiger is a symptom of Dysmoprhic Blingitoblob. I have eight Rx's that he will need to start taking on a daily basis, to ensure he'll become the conforming cog we need him to be.

Signed,

Dr. Corporate

 
MemeSlave 2009-07-02 12:28:59 PM  
Isn't camp where kids learn to fark?

 
Cross of Iron 2009-07-02 12:34:56 PM  
msannomalley: Here's a brilliant idea: stop over scheduling the little runts and let them be children.

I was going to make some snarky comment, but yeah, THIS.

 
Carousel Beast 2009-07-02 12:43:16 PM  
msannomalley: Here's a brilliant idea: stop over scheduling the little runts and let them be children.

Over in one. Bravo.

 
Crazy Joe Davola 2009-07-02 12:48:56 PM  
msannomalley: Here's a brilliant idea: stop over scheduling the little runts and let them be children.

weblogs.newsday.com

"We've taken all the fun out of childhood just in the interest of saving a few lives... these days kids have to wear helmets to do everything but jerking off!"

 
New Moon Rabbit 2009-07-02 12:53:39 PM  
Great Odin's Beard!

We were herded out of the house each day in the summer and told to "go play - be back before dinner". 99 times out of 100 my mom wouldn't know where I was all day long. And when we got thirsty we drank out of someones hose in their front yard.

And thank Thor that I live in a middle class blue collar neighborhood. Kids are outside playing all day and they even go to the neighborhood pool on their own without their parents. They are taught something called "independence". What a concept!

 
OompusMacGillicuddy 2009-07-02 01:00:55 PM  
TFA says that stress levels in children are up 45% in 30 years. I am unfamiliar with the equipment that is used to monitor these levels. I can buy that there is more stress these days, but how do you come up with a numeric comparison from which to draw a percentage from?

 
OompusMacGillicuddy 2009-07-02 01:01:50 PM  
OompusMacGillicuddy: TFA says that stress levels in children are up 45% in 30 years. I am unfamiliar with the equipment that is used to monitor these levels. I can buy that there is more stress these days, but how do you come up with a numeric comparison from which to draw a percentage from?

Here's a couple of more 'froms'.

/from from

 
ensign_noname 2009-07-02 01:03:31 PM  
Impudent Domain: I have an alternate stress relief program for kids.

Yard work

lots of it.


THIS.

Nothing relives stress like 2 acres and a Briggs and Stratton push mower.

/bonus if you live in the south where it is a bi weekly chore.

 
Babies with Rabies [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-02 01:33:58 PM  
New Moon Rabbit: We were herded out of the house each day in the summer and told to "go play - be back before dinner". 99 times out of 100 my mom wouldn't know where I was all day long. And when we got thirsty we drank out of someones hose in their front yard.

That's a childhood.

I could walk out my front door, cross the road, walk into the woods and run around all day without seeing so much as a toolshed. My parents wouldn't know a damn thing about my whereabouts or activities until dinnertime, unless I came home with a broken arm or arterial bleeding.

Good times.

 
gonjie 2009-07-02 01:39:59 PM  
The only stress a kid should have is the wondering who is going to swing the belt against their bottom if they do something extremely wrong.

/wait thats child abuse now.
//Here's a razor blade go play.

 
CrankMyBlueSax 2009-07-02 01:46:08 PM  
New Moon Rabbit: We were herded out of the house each day in the summer and told to "go play - be back before dinner". 99 times out of 100 my mom wouldn't know where I was all day long. And when we got thirsty we drank out of someones hose in their front yard.

Was that you in my childhood? Oh, and FYI Mom always knew where we were. Mom's were sharper back in the day.

 
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